Patrycja Pajor

PSY 215-202

Personal Sexual Ideology

Sexuality is everywhere around us. In today's society, sex has become more popular in

the media but yet is still considered a taboo topic. Sex and sexuality has also evolved greatly. It

now involves different sexual preferences, different genders, STI's, different aspects in

relationships, along with many other things. Each person views these aspects differently and

are also affected differently. Only by educating one-self can someone become more open and

understand sexuality better.

My sexuality has a direct relationship with how I view myself. For this topic I did not

have a change in answer and perception. If anything, it became more of a deeper answer and

also became more easily defined and understood. I had previously written, "If one is more

sexually active and has more partners, then one feels more confident and better about

themselves that there are people interested in them." Along with that, looking at my current

relationship, when my boyfriend actually wants to have sex with me, it shows me that he is

actually attracted to me and wants to be close with me that way. This makes me feel better

about myself psychologically, emotionally, and physically. For example, if we had a few day

streak of not having sex and then one day I suggest we do it and if he says no that automatically

subconsciously puts me down on the inside because after not doing it for a few days you would

expect your partner to want to do it. In that case, that would make me feel a little less wanted
by him and could bring in thoughts like 'does he still think I'm attractive' or 'does he even still

want me?'

The role of sexuality currently plays a great role in my relationship. With this topic, this

class has only enhanced the way sex in relationships should be and has taught me an important

factor. My brief answer stated that previously sex was not that important, but now it actually is.

With better experience, I believe sex has become better and more important to me now. One

thing I specifically learned and could apply to this is the communication aspect. In Chapter 13

lecture, slide 14 talks about good communication. It specifically says, "Intercourse means

communication" (Markunas). Sex is not just doing the act and feeling pleasure. To get the

whole 100% experience from your partner, one must communicate about sex. The

communication can be anywhere from what each partners boundaries are, what turns them on,

what their desires or fantasies are, and etc. Healthy and successful sex comes from being non-

judgmental and understanding about each partners wants and needs. Overall, sex is a very

important part of a relationship because it can bring two people closer together in a different

sense beyond everyday life interactions.

The way I grew up, it was only known and a normal thing for men and women to be

together. It was just between them two that relationships, sex, marriage, and having a family

was normal. Although homosthough homosexuality has existed since the existence of human

kind, it was never talked about or was frowned upon if brought up. I personally do not have

anything against homosexuals. They are just as human as heterosexuals. We are just not

accustomed to such different sexual preferences. Even though I have nothing against them, It
would still make me a little uncomfortable seeing any PDA from them. In my life, there is not

necessarily a right or wrong in types of sexual behaviors. Growing up in the culture I am in and

around the people I was and am around now have taught me these values.

The number one most influential form of information of sexuality today is the media.

For me, the biggest influences were my friends and the people that were around me. Following

that is the media like movies and shows. At the time when sex was an approaching thing at that

age, I did not really focus on sex or worry about it. I was never in a rush to get to it. Everything I

was exposed to only affected me subconsciously. When I think back to when I was a teenager, I

never remember there being so many commercials about practicing safe sex and preventing

teen pregnancy. Not until my late teens did the shows 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom just begin.

In Module 4 we learned about STI's and birth control. At the age when I started having sex, I

barely knew about any of these things. I just knew that condoms were the way to go to not get

pregnant. After reading up on STI's from Chapter 5, I have become extremely paranoid,

especially since you can get them even if you are sexually active with just one partner. All I want

to do now is just get tested for every single thing possible.

The more I have been engaged in sexual activities, the less I thought bad about people

that did it. Before when I would hear about people having sex everyday, even up to three time

a day, I thought they were crazy. With experience, I became more aware and understanding of

sex and different aspects of sexuality. Before the book series 50 Shades of Grey, BDSM was

rarely talked about. I even began reading it in high school, but once it got to the BDSM part, I

quit reading. After I watched the movie (which was just last year) I started reading it again and
finished it all the way through. In some ways BDSM can be degrading since it is about

dominating the other person. But now I am understanding that each person is into different

things and that does not necessarily make them any less of a person. As long as both parties

agree to it, there is nothing bad about it.

Overall, my viewpoint is respect to sex and sexuality has become more and more

positive over the years along with experience and knowledge. In the survey, I wrote that I still

have some negative viewpoints. After this class I have significantly less negative viewpoints.

They have become more neutral if not positive. One thing I was very against was pornography.

For our taking sides assignment, I argued why pornography is not harmful. Having to contradict

your own viewpoint is not easy or fun. Once I read the article I chose for the assignment, it gave

me a different perspective on porn. I still believe that pornography should be consumed in

moderation, but now I see more benefits towards it rather than any negatives.
 Works Cited

Markunas, Susan. "Sexual Problems and Therapy." DePaul University, Chicago. Lecture.