Habits That Actually Reveal a Lot About Your Personality

Show, don’t tell

People show who they really are in very subtle ways—including

their habits. In fact, your choices and preferences are almost as

telling as your Myers-Briggs personality type or the career

personality test you take for work. These tests can shock us

with how accurate they are sometimes, as results can even

show you could have the rarest personality type! Read on to

learn more about the habits that speak volumes and that reveal

more about your personality than you think.

The way you roll toilet paper

The debate about the “right way” to hang your TP has raged

nearly since the roller’s invention. However, therapist Gilda

Carle, PhD, claims that she can learn about your personality

through your preference on this matter. She surveyed 2,000

men and women about whether they hang their toilet paper in

the overhand or underhand position. She also asked her

volunteers to fill out questionnaires that would probe how

assertive they were—on a scale of 1 to 10—in their

relationships. Dr. Carle’s results suggest that those who prefer

the overhand method are more dominant, while the

underhanders tend to be more submissive. (Some extremely

dominant types even admitted to switching the paper direction

in other bathrooms they visited.) “What first began as a fun

exercise actually turned into an accurate assessment tool.

While it adds humor to the conversation, it also provides

insight on your compatibility with a prospective partner,”

Carle tells the Independent.

Your shoe choices

A study published in the Journal of Research in Personality

suggests that you can read someone’s personality through

their choice of footwear. Volunteers submitted photos of their

shoes and then completed a questionnaire on their personality

traits. Another group gazed upon the photos and then

described the personality of the wearer—and they were

remarkably accurate. They gauged the age, income, and

attachment anxiety of someone based solely on the shoes.

Their results indicate that people who wear comfortable shoes

tend to be relatively agreeable. Ankle boots are generally worn

by those who are more aggressive. Wearing uncomfortable

shoes implies that you’re more of a calm person, while those

with new and well-maintained footwear have a more anxious

or clingy persona.
The way you walk

Body language expert Patti Wood tells Men’s Health that your

stroll reveals your personality. If your weight is usually forward

and your stride is quick, you are extremely productive and

highly logical. People admire you for that, but you may come

off a bit cold and competitive. If you walk with your chest

forward, shoulders back, and your head held high (common in

a lot of politicians and celebrities), you are fun, charismatic,

and socially adept, though you may tend to hog the spotlight. If

your weight is over your legs, not forward or back, you’re more

interested in people than in tasks and more focused on your

personal life than your career. You’re great when part of a

group, but tend to get distracted. Lastly, if you’re light on your

toes when you walk and your eyes are glued to the floor, you’re

most likely introverted and polite. A study published in the

Journal of Interpersonal Violence suggests that jail inmates with

psychopathic tendencies were able to judge vulnerability and

pick potential victims simply by viewing the way people walk;

you might want to adopt some of those more assertive styles.

Your handshake

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social

Psychology found your handshake can alter people’s

impressions of you. In the experiment, judges were trained to

assess eight characteristics of a handshake: completeness of

grip, temperature, dryness, strength, duration, vigor, texture,

and eye contact. The results indicate that participants with

firmer handshakes described themselves as more emotionally

expressive, extroverted, and positive than others. Those with

looser grips were more shy and neurotic. The judges’ first

impressions correlated with this—they agreed that the

participants with firmer handshakes were more confident and

less socially anxious.

Your email etiquette

If you’re trying to pick up cues from your coworker, the answer

may lie in your inbox and how you handle your emails.

Psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, PhD, writes in Fast

Company that there is a strong connection between our email

persona and our real-life character. Text mining studies have

found associations between certain keywords and major traits.

Narcissists will generally use words such as “I,” “me,” and

“mine” frequently. Extroverts tend to be more casual and talk

about fun-related things, like music and parties. And it’s not

only what you say—it’s how you say it. An absence of typos is a

sign of someone’s conscientiousness, perfectionism, and

potential obsessions, whereas poor grammar indicates lower

levels of IQ and academic intelligence. Interestingly, long

emails reflect energy and thoroughness, but also some degree

of neediness.
Nervous ticks

Are you a nail biter or skin picker? Scientists call these

“body-focused repetitive behaviors” (BFRB). In a 2015 study

published in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental

Psychiatry, researchers analyzed people’s personalities and

then filmed while they were in a situation that was extremely

frustrating, relaxing, or boring, looking for ticks that might

emerge. People who compulsively tugged on their hair or bit

their nails tended toward perfectionism, and their actions are a

result of trying to soothe boredom, irritation, and

dissatisfaction. Because it feels better to do something instead

of nothing, repetitive behavior proves comforting.

Your punctuality
A study published in the Journal of Research in Personality

suggests that timeliness is an accurate assessment of positive

character traits. In the study, researchers asked participants to

complete a personality assessment at home and come to the

laboratory for a group experiment. By analyzing the

participants time of arrival, they found punctual people were

more conscientious and agreeable; being early was connected

to neuroticism. And those who are chronically late tended to be

more laid-back. Are you often tardy?

Your eating habits

You are what you eat—but science suggests you also are how

you eat. Julia Hormes, PhD, a psychologist specializing in food

behavior, and Juliet Boghossian, a Los Angeles-based

behavioral food expert, told HuffPost that food-related

behaviors can tell us a lot about personality. Slow eaters are

usually people who like to be in control and know how to

appreciate life, but fast eaters tend to be ambitious and

impatient. The adventurous eater is a thrill-seeker and

risk-taker, while picky eaters are likely to exhibit anxiety and

neuroticism. Lastly, if you’re someone who likes to separate

different foods on their plate, you’re very cautious and

detail-oriented in your everyday life.

Your shopping habits

Want to get to know someone better? Take them to the mall. A

series of experiments, published in the Journal of Consumer

Research, found that there are two types of consumers: the

explanation fiend and the explanation foe. A fiend is the type to

meticulously scrutinize every single shampoo bottle in the aisle

before settling for something. On the other hand, a foe will

quickly decide and be done. According to the researchers, the

fiends score high on measures of cognitive reflection, meaning

they analyze information to death and are detail-oriented.

Explanation foes don’t do well with details and prefer more

general information.

Your selfie style

Your Instagram or Facebook feed may reveal more about your

personality than you realize. In a 2015 study from Nanyang

Technological University in Singapore, researchers analyzed

123 selfies taken from a popular Chinese social media site. Each

person then completed a personality questionnaire. The

researchers found that more agreeable people tended to take

pictures from below; conscientious types were less likely to

reveal a private space in the background. People who displayed

positive expressions (smiling, laughing) were more open to

new experiences, while the duck face revealed a more neurotic

personality. Who knew selfies are a window into your

personality?

Your handwriting

Graphology is the analysis of handwriting and how it relates to

personality, and it has been a science since the days of

Aristotle. Master graphologist Kathi McKnight tells Business

Insider that handwriting experts can detect more than 5,000

personality traits from your scrawl. People who write large, for

example, are people-oriented and attention-seeking, whereas

those with small handwriting are introverted and are capable of

acute concentration. Writing with a slight right slant means

you’re friendly and impulsive; a left slant means you’re

reserved and individualistic. No slant suggests you’re logical

and pragmatic. Lastly, handwriting with heavy pressure

indicates you have strong emotions and are quick to react, but a
light pressure implies an easiness and ability to move from

place to place.

The way you carry a bag

You might spend days or weeks picking out a handbag, but how

much thought do you give to how you carry it? Here’s what that

mindless choice reveals, according to body language expert

Patti Wood: Wearing a purse in the crook of your arm shows

you are high-maintenance and place a lot of emphasis on social

status. Wearing the strap across your body with the bag in front

means you prioritize protection and accessibility; toting your

bag behind you demonstrates a cool, calm, and collected

personality. People who sport a backpack are more

independent and want to take care of themselves and the

people around them, while those who carry their bag in their

hands tend to be assertive, well-organized, and efficient.

Do Humans Inherit or Create
Their Personalities?
Asked what propositions are worthy of wider debate, Dan McAdams,
a professor of psychology at Northwestern University, wondered how
humans arrive at their personalities.

He wrote:

I am a personality and life-span developmental psychologist. Thus,

my main activities are teaching, writing, and research. In my field,
there are many ideas that are widely and vigorously debated. But it
is not clear to me that the public at large is aware of these debates.
Actually, “debate” is not quite the right word, because it suggests
two diametrically opposed sides who take each other on. A better
way to characterize it would be “conversations” among
psychological scientists of different persuasions and inclinations, all
of whom study the phenomenon of human personality. We may
think of personality as the distinctive set of psychological
characteristics that distinguish one person from the next. The
back-and-forth among psychologists regarding the nature of human
personality draws mainly from scientific research and theory, but it
is also informed by ideology, culture, and personal experience.

A central question in the field of personality psychology today is

this: To what extent is our personality given to us, and to what
extent do we make it ourselves?

This is not the same thing as the old “nature versus nurture” debate.
It is not so much about genes and environments as it is about the
role of human will in the formation of personality. It seems pretty
clear that certain foundational features of human personality – such
as our basic dispositional traits – feel as if they are given to us. For
example, as people move through life, from one situation to the
next, they do not typically choose to be, say, “extraverted” or
“anxious” or “especially kind and considerate.” “This is just how I
am,” an especially extraverted person might say, regarding her
tendency to be outgoing and socially dominant. “I can’t help it, I
am just a very nervous person,” an individual with high levels of
the trait neuroticism might conclude.
People tend to feel that their dispositional traits are given to them –
by genes, past experiences, luck, whatever. (And research supports
the claim.)

At the same time, there are other features of human personality that
feel chosen or made, such as one’s life goals and values and,
especially, the story that a person has constructed about life. Life
stories – or what psychologists call narrative identities – are a very
hot topic today in the psychological sciences.

A person’s life story is an internalized and evolving narrative of the

self that reconstructs the past and imagines the future in such a way
as to provide life with some sense of meaning and purpose. The
story provides a subjective account, told to others and to the self, of
how I came to be the person I am becoming. With respect to human
personality, people’s stories about their lives (their narrative
identities) layer over their dispositional traits. To understand a
person well, even if that person is the self, one must understand the
basic traits that inform everyday social behavior and the inner story
that gives meaning to the person’s life.
The traits are given, it seems; but the stories seem to be made.
Human beings, therefore, are simultaneously social actors whose
behavior is shaped by given traits and autobiographical authors who
make meaning out of their lives through narratives.

What is Personality?
The personality is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors that
make a person unique.

When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean that they are
likable, interesting and pleasant to be with.

Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a good

personality is vital - probably even more so than good looks.

In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness will be a

result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately, it is your personality
that determines whether people are attracted to, or shy away from you.

While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we can improve our
personality as much as we want. We can develop or integrate into our
personalities any trait we deem fitting and agreeable.

Here are 10 great ways to improve your personality:

1. Be a better listener. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered

one of the most charming women in the world because she
cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known
for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their
 every word, and make them feel important. There is nothing more
appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you
feel like you're the only person in the world.
2.
Read more and expand your interests. The more you read and
cultivate new interests, the more interesting you are to others.
When you meet new people it allows you to share what you know
and to exchange your views with them.
3.
Be a good conversationalist. This relates to how much you read
and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk
about it with others. No one can read about or know everything, so
it's refreshing to learn from others those things we don't have the
time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a group
like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what you
know.
Enjoy the article: The Art of Conversation
4. Have an Opinion. There is nothing more tiresome than trying to
talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation
has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however,
you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are
more interesting and stimulating to be with socially (unless you're
a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook expands everyone's
perspective.
5.
Meet New People. Make the effort to meet new people especially
those unlike you. It not only exposes you to different cultures and
alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons.
6.
Be yourself. The next most tiresome thing after having no
opinions is trying to be something you're not. Molding yourself to
fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique,
expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting.
Attempting to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat,
but it also reveals a lack of authenticity.
7.
Have a positive outlook and attitude. Who wants to be around
 people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing good to
say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be
the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your energy
when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and
things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with
your presence.
See: How to Think Positively
8. Be fun and see the humorous side of life. Everyone enjoys the
company of someone who makes them laugh or smile, so look for
the humorous, quirky side in a situation - there always is one.
Comic relief is a much welcome and needed diversion at times.
When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or
gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to
mention grateful.
9.
Be supportive of others. Being supportive is probably the most
endearing quality you can integrate into your personality. Just as
you welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We all
love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging,
believes in us and helps pick us up when we're down.
10.
Have Integrity and treat people with respect. Being honest and true
to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude
of others. Nothing improves a person's personality more than
integrity and respect - respect for others, as well as respect for
yourself.

We humans have the power and ability to shape our personalities however we
wish. When we develop ourselves to be all that we can be, we contribute to our
own, as well as the happiness of others.
 The Light Triad vs.
Dark Triad of
Personality
Why are dark triad people so seductive? Why do they get all the
research attention? I asked my colleague David Yaden in his office.
Immediately his ears pricked up, and he asked me to send him
papers on the dark triad, remarking that he hadn't heard of the
dark triad but that it sounded fascinating (thus proving my point).

When I went back to my office, I emailed some papers to David and

my colleague Elizabeth Hyde. In a quick email response, David
simply wrote back, “light triad”? Now my ears pricked up. Was
there such a thing? Had it been studied?

The dark triad has already been well-studied. First discovered by

Delroy Paulhus and Kevin Williams in 2002, the dark triad of
personality consists of narcissism (entitled self-importance),
Machiavellianism (strategic exploitation and deceit) and
psychopathy (callousness and cynicism). While these three traits
had traditionally been studied mostly among clinical populations
(e.g., criminals), Paulhus and Williams showed that each of these
traits are clearly on a continuum—we are all at least a little bit
narcissistic, Machiavellian and psychopathic.
 Credit: Laura Harris
Wikimedia (CC BY-SA 4.0)

Since their initial paper, research on the topic has increased quite a
bit each year, with two-thirds of the publications of the dark triad
appearing in 2014 and 2015 alone. While each of the members of
the dark triad has unique features and correlates, there is enough
overlap among these "socially aversive" traits that Paulhus has
argued that they "should be studied in concert." Indeed, there does
appear to be a "dark core" to personality.

While research on dark personalities has certainly contributed to

our understanding of the darker side of human nature, and how
each of us differs in the extent to which we consistently exhibit
dark patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors in our daily lives,
what about the light side of human nature?
 Everyday Saints

Socially aversive people certainly exist, but what about everyday

saints? I'm not talking about the person who publicly does a lot of
giving, and receives many public accolades and awards for all of
their giving (and who constantly gives to others in order to achieve
personal success). I'm talking about the person who, just by their
being, shines their light in every direction. The person who isn't
constantly strategic about their giving, but who emits
unconditional love naturally and spontaneously because that's just
who they are.

So this is what we set out to find out. Through many email

exchanges and personal meetings, David, Elizabeth and I looked at
existing tests of the dark triad and brainstormed a variety of items
relating to the conceptual opposite characteristics of each member
of the dark triad, but we created items that weren't simply the
reverse of the dark triad items. Our initial pool of items related to
forgiveness, trust, honesty, caring, acceptance, seeing the best in
people and getting intrinsic enjoyment from making connections
with others instead of using people as a means to an end.

To our surprise (we hadn't expected there to necessarily be three

factors), three distinct factors emerged from our studies, which we
labeled: Kantianism (treating people as ends unto themselves, not
mere means), Humanism (valuing the dignity and worth of each
individual) and Faith in Humanity (believing in the fundamental
goodness of humans):

The Age When a Child's True Personality

Emerges
As young as in infancy, we attribute certain character traits to children. We
might say "he's a happy baby," or "she's easy-going," or opine that a child is
"stubborn." But while these characteristics might provide hints of what's to
come, your child's personality doesn't truly begin to take form until later.

There are good reasons for parents to want to know what their child's
personality will be. Parenting an introvert may involve different skill sets and
techniques than parenting an extrovert, and children with different
personality traits will respond better to different motivations and discipline
strategies.

These personality traits start to emerge in elementary school. Here's how you
can tell when your child's personality is emerging, and what that personality
may mean.

Temperament Is Not Your Child's Personality

There are hints of child personality from very early on in life. For instance,
some infants crave routines, while others prefer greater flexibility.
Psychologists call these early clues "temperament."

Temperament is innate. In other words, babies naturally have certain

temperaments, but temperament is not their "personality."

Personality is the sum total of an individual's emotional, attitudinal, and

behavioral responses. It emerges in the truest sense only as adolescence
approaches.

According to psychologist Dan McAdams, an individual's personality can be

characterized by observing their specific personality traits over the course of
1
years. 

These traits don't appear in a clear and consistent manner until the tween
years. Before then, you can look at children's behavior as reactions to other
personalities around them, whereas behavioral responses occur starting
around 11 and 12 years of age.
The Big 5 Personality Traits
Like temperament, personality traits have been characterized in various ways
by different researchers.

Perhaps one of the most prominent personality theories focuses on five key
2
personality traits. They are: 

​ Conscientiousness: This describes someone who tends to be on-time or

early for appointments, is highly responsible, and works toward
long-term goals with little or no supervision.
​ Agreeableness: Also called pro-social, a person who is agreeable
generally has positive social interactions, is pleasant to be around,
works to help others, and cooperates well in group situations. He also
tends to show affection readily and often.
​ Openness to Experience: A person who is high in openness to
experience is creative, flexible, curious and adventurous. He enjoys
having his mind and senses stimulated, such as by viewing art,
listening to new music, sampling exotic cuisine and reading literature
and poetry. An open person likes to have variety in his day-to-day life
and craves novelty.
​ Neuroticism: A person who has a tendency to experience negative
emotional states, such as anxiety, anger, guilt, and depression,
regularly. People with high levels of neuroticism are more likely than
average to respond poorly to stress and to interpret situations as
threatening or hopelessly difficult.
​ Extroversion: An extrovert is a person who is energized by being
around other people. This is the opposite of an introvert, who is
energized by being alone.

Your Child's Personality Crystallizes in Their Tween Years

These five traits first crystallize in children during the tween years, and the
resulting combination of traits ultimately makes up your child's personality.

In particular, researchers begin to find differences from one child to the next
on each of these so-called Big Five traits during the tween years. They also
find general trends in levels of the Big 5 traits occurring for all tweens. For
example, conscientiousness tends to be on the rise during the tween years.

The combination of readily observable individual differences coupled with

overall general trends indicates that traits—and hence "child
personality"—most truly emerge during pre-adolescence.

Once personality emerges, it doesn't shift much: a 2010 study found that
personality traits first observed by elementary school teachers could predict
3
adult behavior. 

That study, from researchers at the University of California, Riverside, the

Oregon Research Institute and the University of Oregon, used personality
ratings from elementary school teachers in an ethnically diverse group of
children in Hawaii back in the 1960s, comparing those personality ratings to
videotaped interviews of 144 of those people 40 years later. The researchers
found that traits noted by the teachers still persisted four decades later and
that those traits predicted responses to social situations.

Everyone's personality is unique. As your child comes into his or her own,
support the positive aspects of personality by celebrating what they're
already showing you makes them tick.