From Blog to Book.

’http://our-roller-coaster-ride.blogspot.com/’
2
Contents

1 2009 13
1.1 June . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
OUR ROLLER COASTER RIDE (2009-06-05 17:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Going Into Hospital (2009-06-05 17:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Poorly And Worried (2009-06-05 17:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
The Bad News (2009-06-05 17:38) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
More Hospital And More Tests (2009-06-05 17:39) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
A Normal Day? (2009-06-05 17:40) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
On Her Way Home (2009-06-05 17:40) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Unlpug That Bloody Phone ! (2009-06-05 17:42) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Bad Day (2009-06-05 17:43) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Biopsy Results (2009-06-05 17:43) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Blue Badge (2009-06-06 16:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Wet Sunday (2009-06-07 13:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
1st Day Back At Work (2009-06-08 18:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Oncologist Anti - Climax (2009-06-11 21:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
GP’s Help (2009-06-12 19:15) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Another Weekend Gone (2009-06-14 16:04) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Visit When She’s Better! (2009-06-15 17:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Moving Forward, Belly Ache & Worrying (2009-06-17 19:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Ouch! Bone Marrow Biopsy. (2009-06-18 16:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Eating For England (2009-06-20 09:36) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Cigarettes And Tears (2009-06-20 09:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Long 1ST Day Of Treatment (2009-06-23 16:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Up And Not Out (2009-06-24 17:47) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Another 5 Liters (2009-06-25 17:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Too Much Time To Think (2009-06-27 16:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
3
 2ND Treatment Goes Like A Treat (2009-06-29 16:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
1.2 July . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Still On The Up (2009-07-02 16:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Weekend Parole (2009-07-03 19:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Race For Life (2009-07-07 18:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Getting Bored Of TV (2009-07-08 15:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
A Few Tears and It’s The Weekend (2009-07-10 17:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
All Good Today (2009-07-11 20:33) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Birthday Party & Next Treatment (2009-07-13 17:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
Calm Before The Storm (2009-07-16 18:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
Life Not What It Used To Be (2009-07-17 15:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
(2009-07-19 08:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Monday Again! (2009-07-20 16:01) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Tuesday’s AHHHH! (2009-07-21 19:55) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Hospital Check Up (2009-07-22 16:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Our 5TH Wedding Anniversary (2009-07-24 18:36) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Making The Most Of It (2009-07-25 17:24) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Night Before (2009-07-26 17:09) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
1ST Radiotherapy Treatment (2009-07-27 18:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Where Is Everyone? (2009-07-28 20:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
1ST Day Of Chemo (2009-07-29 04:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Looking Good And Feeling Great (2009-07-30 18:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Feeling Tired (2009-07-31 18:25) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
1.3 August . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Michelle’s Attitude (2009-08-01 16:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
I Had Been warned! (2009-08-02 16:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
My First Radiotherapy Day (2009-08-03 19:09) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Into Our 2ND Week (2009-08-04 16:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Catching Up With Us (2009-08-07 17:57) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Wheelchair & Tears (2009-08-09 07:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Getting Upset. (2009-08-10 15:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Good Old Steroids (2009-08-13 17:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Weekend Fun? (2009-08-15 08:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Bloody Wheelchair! (2009-08-17 17:31) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Stressed Out (2009-08-18 17:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
4
 I put On My Tunes And I’m Ready For The Weekend! (2009-08-21 18:41) . . . . . . . . . . 38
Baby Sitting & Helicopter Ride (2009-08-23 14:46) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Last Week Of Radiotherapy & Down (2009-08-24 18:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Treatment Over & A Rest (2009-08-28 18:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Bit Down & Sore (2009-08-29 15:41) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Quiet Day & Relaxing (2009-08-30 13:09) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Sleepy (2009-08-31 17:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
1.4 September . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Our Roller Coaster Ride Continues (2009-09-01 17:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Last Chemotherapy (2009-09-03 16:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Things To Look Forward To (2009-09-04 15:46) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Weekend Gone Again (2009-09-06 16:55) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Monday Fun (2009-09-07 18:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Last Weeks catch Up (2009-09-12 16:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Nervous & Shopping (2009-09-13 15:31) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Radiotherapy Treatment (2009-09-16 12:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Feeling Better (2009-09-17 16:58) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Busy, Busy, Busy (2009-09-20 09:21) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Weeks Catch Up (2009-09-25 18:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Stay In Saturday (2009-09-26 16:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Stay At Home Weekend (2009-09-27 11:28) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
CT Scan and another anti-climax (2009-09-30 15:05) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
1.5 October . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Tired Weekend (2009-10-03 18:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
5 Months On (2009-10-06 18:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Calendar Photographs (2009-10-07 18:43) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Our Photograph (2009-10-09 15:04) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Lucky? (2009-10-11 10:14) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Where Has The Week Gone? (2009-10-15 19:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Playing Catch Up (2009-10-20 17:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Back To Square One (2009-10-22 17:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Reality Bite (2009-10-23 16:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Laugh & Not Cry (2009-10-25 08:50) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Nice Chat (2009-10-26 18:15) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Looking Like Myra Hindley! (2009-10-27 19:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
5
 Long Week (2009-10-30 17:43) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
1.6 November . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Wheel chair in.......Wheel chair out (2009-11-02 15:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Mid Week Nightmare (2009-11-04 18:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Kay away and my turn (2009-11-06 18:17) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Like the good old days (2009-11-07 17:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Another day, another dollar (2009-11-09 16:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
The Night Before Results (2009-11-11 16:19) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Good & Bad (2009-11-14 09:43) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Making cakes and staying in. (2009-11-15 13:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
Welcome to cycle 2 (2009-11-19 17:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
What the difference a day makes (2009-11-20 19:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Crying with laughter (2009-11-21 19:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Just How It Is (2009-11-22 14:19) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Ewwww I can’t eat that (2009-11-24 18:55) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
It’s out of the box! (2009-11-25 16:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Catching up with her (2009-11-26 17:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Feeling ................. (2009-11-28 17:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Michelle’s Birthday (2009-11-29 18:55) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
1.7 December . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Quiet Michelle (2009-12-01 18:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Our Calendar (2009-12-02 18:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Lump in my throat (2009-12-03 15:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Tired and no sleep (2009-12-04 19:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Michelle’s Mum (2009-12-05 15:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Look At His Beard (2009-12-06 14:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
In The Newspaper (2009-12-08 17:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Chemo, puppy and one dead rabbit! (2009-12-10 17:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
Shop Lifter! (2009-12-11 17:36) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Tears for Simon (2009-12-12 16:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
TV Fame !! (2009-12-14 16:28) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Return Of Pain (2009-12-16 17:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Get The Beer In (2009-12-17 17:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Weekend before Christmas (2009-12-19 18:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
Bad News All Round (2009-12-22 18:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
Christmas Eve (2009-12-24 15:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
Our 2009 Christmas (2009-12-27 15:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
Hair loss & Waiting (2009-12-31 09:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69
6
2 2010 71
2.1 January . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Welcome to 2010 (2010-01-01 15:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Tears & Shopping (2010-01-02 17:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Back to work but for how long? (2010-01-05 16:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Off Some Foods (2010-01-07 17:09) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Just The Two Of Us (2010-01-09 17:55) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Staying In (2010-01-10 14:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Results Day (2010-01-14 18:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
Visit Sheila & Big Surprise (2010-01-15 18:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
The Big Sort Out (2010-01-17 10:25) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
Don’t do a flopper in Iceland! (2010-01-18 18:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
Pre- Chemo Day (2010-01-19 18:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Cycle 5 & Sick Note (2010-01-20 18:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Time To Work? (2010-01-21 19:33) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
Fish Finger Fetish (2010-01-22 19:03) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
Escaped From A Home (2010-01-23 16:01) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
3am and 3 Pork Pies (2010-01-24 14:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Getting Upset (2010-01-25 18:43) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
Visiting Day (2010-01-27 10:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
The Good, The Bad & The Hospital (2010-01-31 11:14) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
2.2 February . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
In Hospital Blogging (2010-02-01 19:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Knockout! (2010-02-02 15:36) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Remembering The Start All Over Again. (2010-02-05 19:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
Back Out Shopping (2010-02-06 16:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
Is Anybody There? (2010-02-07 18:38) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
Decorating..DONE! Cycle 6...DONE! (2010-02-10 16:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
Our Quality Time (2010-02-12 15:21) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
Double Doctors Date (2010-02-15 18:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Unconditional Love (2010-02-16 17:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Chicken Pox! (2010-02-18 09:50) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
Hibernation (2010-02-19 14:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Taking Things For Granted (2010-02-20 17:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
1st Day Back At Work (2010-02-22 18:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
7
 Just Got To Wait................ (2010-02-23 20:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
Visitors All Day Long (2010-02-27 08:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
Eating For England ( I’m sure I must of used this title before!) (2010-02-27 20:13) . . . . . 91
2.3 March . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
Don’t Feel Sorry For Us (2010-03-01 19:25) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
The Night Before The Not Knowing (2010-03-02 19:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
Michelle is Terminal.......or is she? (2010-03-04 17:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
Back On The Ride (2010-03-05 18:05) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
Posh Lunch (2010-03-06 18:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
Taking Our Time & Butterflies (2010-03-08 16:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
Morning Sickness (2010-03-10 12:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
The Longest Day Ever (2010-03-11 19:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
Getting On With Life (2010-03-13 16:47) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98
Mother’s Day 2010 (2010-03-14 19:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
PET Scan (2010-03-17 15:05) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
A Day To Remember (2010-03-20 14:09) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
Black Plant Pot (2010-03-21 17:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
Finally PET Scan Day (2010-03-22 17:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
My Old Michelle, Curtains & Pork Pies (2010-03-23 20:25) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102
Mixed Emotions (2010-03-24 17:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102
Feeling A Bit Down (2010-03-25 12:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Visitors (2010-03-26 18:41) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
Keeping Busy (2010-03-27 18:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
Staying In (2010-03-28 19:19) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Visitors and Memories (2010-03-30 18:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106
2.4 April . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
Bay City Rollers (2010-04-01 12:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
Easter Bug (2010-04-03 19:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
Breath Of Fresh Air (2010-04-06 18:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
Matt’s Back! (2010-04-07 19:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
A Normal Busy Day In a Normal Life (2010-04-09 17:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
Fencing & Tracy’s Birthday (2010-04-10 22:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
Fencing done. (2010-04-11 19:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
Rubbish & Arguements (2010-04-13 19:36) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
The Good Old Days (2010-04-15 21:09) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
8
 Hassle Off The Neighbours (2010-04-18 17:17) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
The Corner I Hate (2010-04-23 14:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
A Week Of Gardening.......Done! (2010-04-25 20:38) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
Return Of The Tears (2010-04-28 15:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
The Wasp (2010-04-29 19:04) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
2.5 May . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
Normality (2010-05-01 19:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
Last Day Of The Summer Holidays (2010-05-03 15:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
4AM Shock (2010-05-04 20:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
End Of A Long Week (2010-05-08 21:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Redundant Wheel Chair (2010-05-09 16:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Shopping For.......... (2010-05-12 20:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
Getting On With It (2010-05-13 19:24) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118
Manda & Pete’s Wedding - A fantastic Weekend. (2010-05-16 13:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118
Not Sleeping With a Busy Week (2010-05-18 15:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
Fat Army Men! (2010-05-22 19:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
We’re just.....................normal? (2010-05-26 17:33) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
Leeanne & James Wedding! (2010-05-28 20:24) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
One Year On. (2010-05-29 18:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
2.6 June . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
Back On The Ride (2010-06-01 16:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
And Now The Waiting........... (2010-06-03 15:58) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
Warts and all. (2010-06-06 13:46) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
Race For Life@Loughborough (2010-06-13 16:05) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
Shopping & Diet (2010-06-14 17:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
Never Stop Worrying. (2010-06-15 20:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
CT Results And A Long Day (2010-06-19 09:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128
Lilly’s Chistening. (2010-06-20 15:46) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
Champix & HGV Test (2010-06-21 17:40) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
Too Hot To Do Anything. (2010-06-22 17:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
Week Off And Broken TV (2010-06-25 15:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133
It Always comes In Three’s. (2010-06-27 09:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
2.7 July . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
And relax........... (2010-07-01 19:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
Breakdown, Hunger and Stomach Ache. (2010-07-03 10:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
9
 Shopping...Hospital....Plants............ (2010-07-04 15:21) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137
Hospital Appointment (2010-07-07 15:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
Sad News (2010-07-09 21:42) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139
Bloody Car! (2010-07-11 20:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139
Biopsy Date Set (2010-07-12 20:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140
My Turn At The Doctors (2010-07-13 18:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141
Biopsy (2010-07-14 09:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141
Matt’s Back (2010-07-15 20:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143
No Exciting Title....Normal Weekend. (2010-07-18 10:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143
Our 6TH Wedding Anniversary (2010-07-25 10:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
Sleeping Tablets (2010-07-27 11:17) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
Half Full Or Half Empty (2010-07-31 09:03) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146
2.8 August . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147
Back To The Gym (2010-08-02 20:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147
Two Fat Army Men............ Again! (2010-08-06 18:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147
Idris Morris ( Chris ) (2010-08-07 18:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148
Doing It All Wrong. (2010-08-11 11:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149
Thinking Time (2010-08-12 19:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
Why Do Diet’s Always Start On A Monday? (2010-08-13 19:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
Results Day Looming (2010-08-15 17:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
The Night Before...... (2010-08-17 19:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152
Blogging in Hospital Awaiting Results (2010-08-18 09:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
Printing Blog (2010-08-19 19:25) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154
WOW! (2010-08-22 10:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154
Long Pre-Wedding Week (2010-08-27 20:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156
Leanne & James Wedding (2010-08-30 18:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157
The Hangover (2010-08-31 16:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160
2.9 September . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
Looking Back....looking forward..... (2010-09-04 10:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
Mr. Pete Davis (2010-09-05 16:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162
Restless Night And Tired Day (2010-09-06 15:47) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163
Big Boys Birthday! (2010-09-09 17:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164
CT Scan & Day Dreaming (2010-09-10 18:55) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164
The weekend (2010-09-12 18:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165
Should We Carry On? (2010-09-14 08:46) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 166
10
 Great News & Panic (2010-09-15 18:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167
Blackpool (2010-09-18 10:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168
Pete’s Funeral (2010-09-18 14:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172
Too Early For Christmas Shopping? (2010-09-20 18:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173
Home Alone (2010-09-22 18:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174
The Dog, My Mum & A Hangover (2010-09-25 10:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Our Blog Turned Into A Book (2010-09-26 10:57) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
2.10 October . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
Time For A Change? (2010-10-10 11:01) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
A van, A Mattress & A Change (2010-10-11 17:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
No Getting Away From It (2010-10-12 18:37) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178
Busy & Not Enough Hours (2010-10-19 17:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179
Hospital & Shopping (2010-10-20 19:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180
Surprise Phone Call (2010-10-21 19:38) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180
Man Flu & Baby Sitting (2010-10-24 14:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181
2.11 November . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 182
Changing Situation (2010-11-07 11:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 182
Week Off Work (2010-11-14 08:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183
Winter Bug & Cold (2010-11-21 11:39) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184
Snow & Snoring (2010-11-28 09:21) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184
2.12 December . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
Mid Week Blog! (2010-12-01 15:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
Birthday, Death & Worry (2010-12-11 09:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186
Sunday Morning Blog (2010-12-12 11:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187
Bloody Hospitals! (2010-12-15 15:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187
Emotional (2010-12-18 07:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
We’re Going To Be Grand Parents!! (2010-12-22 15:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
19 Months Along Our Ride. (2010-12-24 16:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 190
Boxing Day 2010 (2010-12-26 13:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 190
New Years Eve 2010 (2010-12-31 19:42) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 191

3 2011 193
3.1 January . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
Busy Start To 2011 (2011-01-08 10:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
Never Know What’s Around The Corner (2011-01-16 09:47) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 194
The Night Before (2011-01-18 18:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195
11
 Lymphoma Results with A Wobble (2011-01-22 08:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195
Roller Coasting To The Top (2011-01-29 08:47) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
A Very Funny Night (2011-01-30 11:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198
1ST Day Back At School (2011-01-31 16:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198

12
Chapter 1

2009

1.1 June

OUR ROLLER COASTER RIDE (2009-06-05 17:30)

Our Roller Coaster Journey

This is my diary of our roller coaster of a ride in our battle to get Michelle well again.
We went away for our second weekend to Sheffield after we’d had a big row about all sorts of
stuff and we decided we needed time to ourselves once a month. It was the weekend of 18th
April 2009.
Michelle had a bath in our hotel room and I started to look at her body and noticed that she
was losing weight but her belly looked big, I joked and called her a fat bellied Ethiopian! And
we laughed about it.
A couple of weeks went by and her belly was getting bigger & bigger but Michelle still went
to work.

Going Into Hospital (2009-06-05 17:34)

I eventually got her to go to the doctors, which she did on Monday 11th May.
He examined her and said he thought it may be a problem with her liver or kidney and booked her in for
blood tests at Coalville doctors.
Matthew took Michelle up the next day for blood tests, and then on the Wednesday Janet & Joyce took her
to Coalville hospital for an ultrasound scan which the doctor had also booked.
The following Tuesday 19Th May Michelle went back to the doctor, and he told her the blood tests had
come back all clear and her scan had showed lots of fluid.
And he was now booking an appointment for a CT scan at one of the Leicester hospitals.
He actually came around the house on the Wednesday to see Michelle out of the blue to see if she was OK.
He’d told Michelle that someone would be phoning her in the next two days to arrange her CT scan, but we
13
waited and no one did.
On Sunday 24Th May 2009 we both woke up and Michelle hadn’t slept well again because of the size of her
belly, and I told her she needed to go to hospital.
She replied with Its going to be a nice day today, let s wait until Tuesday to see Dr Lewis
She lay in bed and I told her I’d phone the out of hours doctors number, which I did and told the lady all
the details about what had been going on.
After about 10Min’s a doctor called back and spoke to Michelle for about 1/2 hour and basically said wait
until Tuesday when you GP reopens, but if you did feel you wanted to go to the walk in centre then she’d
send all the information over to them.
So we got ready and took a ride over to Lough borough’s walk in centre, took our seat and waited to see the
nurse.
We got called in and as soon as Michelle sat down she burst into tears, told the nurse everything and she
was so nice and let us wait in the plaster room to see the doctors next.
After about 15 mins the doctor came and took us to her room, who funnily enough was Michelle’s mums GP
Dr Elizabeth Hall.
She examined Michelle and said that she’d have to go into hospital as she needed 1 1/2 liters of fluid draining
from her belly.
We waited back in reception and about 10mins later she came back out with a letter to go to Leicester Royal.
On that Sunday 24th May we arrived on ward 19 of the LRI at 11.45 am, handed our letter in and was told
where Michelle’s bed was.
They were so short staffed that day with lots of admissions, and apart from one nurse for 5 mins; we didn’t
see a doctor for 5 hours!
When he came he did blood test and left a canola in, much to Michelle’s disgust as it was in the middle of
her arm and she was moaning that she couldn’t bend her arm!
It had been a long day and I left Michelle at around 7pm to go home.
It was letter that night the consultant came around and said that she’d be having a CT scan on Monday, so
had a drip put up and was nil by mouth.

Poorly And Worried (2009-06-05 17:35)

I went to see her the next day, pain of visiting hours on that ward was 2-3pm then 7-8pm.
And she’d still not had a scan and was feeling very hungry.
She had a little cry, as others had come in and had their scans and everyone was eating apart from her.
She did get her scan the next morning, Tuesday 26th May 2009 and was then moved to ward 8.
Visiting hours were strict on there, the bell went of at 3pm and everyone had to go.
Shaun and Viv came to visit whilst I and Joyce were there.
Michelle wasn’t eating because of her large belly, she tried half a sandwich and that gave her the runs.
Matthew and Millie turned up to visit and Michelle had another try at something to eat but rushed to the
toilet again, this time making a little mess so we pulled the curtains around so I could help clean her up and
she got upset and had a cry, I held her and told her it would all be OK.
On Wednesday 27th May 2009 Michelle was seen by Mr. Ireland who had come across from maternity to see
her and asked her if she’d be OK to move over there, which she agreed.
She moved over to Ward 1 of the maternity department and had her own on suite room.
The tests now started thick and fast, she had a smear, biopsy of her womb and a drain put in to start
removing the fluid from her belly.
That first night they drained 5 liters of fluid from her belly, but then had to turn it off as they had to do it
slowly so you wouldn’t feel too ill.
Thursday 28th May I was visiting Michelle when a senior nurse came in called Louise.
14
She started to ask what the doctors had said; Michelle said Mr. Ireland had told her that her womb didn’t
look the right shape.
And Louise started to talk about tests for cancer and that we’d find of the results from the CT scan, smear
and biopsy Friday morning when the doctors came around.
I was starting to worry now after someone had mentioned the BIG C word.
At the end of visiting I kissed Michelle goodbye and told her I’d see her in the morning, as the nurse said
that it would be OK for me to be there when Mr. Ireland came around.
I went to the nurse s station and saw Louise and asked if I could have a word with her in private, we sat
down and I got upset and told her I was worried about Michelle.
And she said that she was poorly and waits to see what Mr. Ireland said in the morning.

The Bad News (2009-06-05 17:38)

On FRIDAY 29th MAY 2009 I got to the hospital for 7am, we chatted
until about 7.50 am and I saw some doctors arrive.
I said to Michelle has he got grey hair and glasses, and she said that sounded like him.
About 5mins later Mr. Ireland walked in with Louise, who shut the door behind her, I sat back in the blue
comfy chair and Mr. Ireland shook both our hands.
Her opened his folder and said that they’d had the results back and they had found cancerous cells at the
neck of the womb, but it didn’t really sink in to either of us.
He carried on to explain that one of her lymph nodes was quite enlarged and was pressing on her liver, which
had caused all the fluid build up in her belly.
He said that there was a possibility that the lymph node was cancerous too and they would be doing a biopsy
to find this out.
The sentence that I keep hearing to keep positive is when her said to Michelle that, although her cervical
cancer was too big to operate on (she was stage 4) THIS IS TREATABLE.
To which Michelle sort of flung her head back and said It is? Thank goodness for that
We were then left on our own for a while and didn’t really know what to say, neither of us cried.
And I said to Michelle I can’t believe it, you’ve got cancer
And she said ” At least they can treat it, I don’t know what I’d of done if they couldn’t, I’d of died!
Tears started to come eventually, and after a big hug and cry we tried to stay positive.
I went outside on my mobile to tell people, I phoned Joyce, Janet and Shaun. And cried every time I told
someone.
I phoned Michelle’s friend Gaynor and she was in floods of tears saying ” No Patrick not Michelle no
It had been a long day and I told Michelle I was going home, it was about 6pm, I kissed her and told her
that I’d see her the next day.
I walked out the room and started to cry, and carried on crying all the way to the car.
Started to drive home crying, and got on the A511 and just shouted out, Not Michelle please not Michelle
I don’t know what I’d do without her
I got home and sat down at the dining room table and cried, walked around crying and couldn’t rest.
I phoned Joyce to see if she wanted to go back to the hospital to see Michelle.
I drove down, swapped car and set off back to Leicester.
Got there about 6.50pm, so had just over another hour with Michelle. And we left around 8.15pm.
I got home and felt so alone and upset, and started to look on the internet about cancer and cancer support.
Sites Louise had told me about, although she did warn me to stay away from looking up too much as it could
muddle your brain.
I’d now started to get in into my head that, what if the doctors found more cancer and they said she couldn’t
be cured, my head was a mess.
15
I came across a site called www. whatnow.org.uk/ and it was a Macmillan based site for patients and careers
and so I joined up with my details.
Went on their chat room and everyone was so friendly, in particular a man called Andy Hill, his wife Emma
had found out 3 weeks early she’d got breast cancer and it had spread to 28 lymph nodes.
So he’d been in our situation 3 weeks previous.
We exchanged messages and very kindly said that he’s light a candle for Michelle at Litchfield cathedral.
And said that we all needed something to look forward to so how about all meeting up for a slap up meal
when all this is over.

More Hospital And More Tests (2009-06-05 17:39)

Saturday 30th May came and I was feeling really down, walked to post a letter and went home, kept looking
at the clock to see if it was time to visit Michelle.
Walked to the paper shop, got my newspapers and walked home again.
Then I got all my gear together, went up Coalville to get some things for Michelle.
Went to my mums and made him some sandwiches and picked Janet up.
On the way there we had to find a Mc Donald s because Michelle wanted a chocolate milkshake!
Got to the hospital and Matthew and Millie were there, they went as we came and Michelle started her
milkshake and sandwich.
They now drained around 8 or 9 liters of fluid from Michelle’s belly so she felt well enough to eat a few
things, sandwich’s, Thornton s etc.
She hadn’t been to the toilet for 5 days so asked for something to help her go.
We left Michelle at 6.30pm to watch Britain s Got Talent final on her TV.
Its now Sunday 31st May 2009 and I’m sat at my pc, feeling a little better and wanted to write down what
had happened so far.
Been on my website and they said not to look at everything as a big picture but to take each day at a time,
so I thought that writing this diary would help us remember what we’re going through and how far we’ve
come.
I’ve just spoken to Michelle on the phone and she’s managed to go to the toilet which she’s relieved at, and
her drain has slowed right down and the doctors told her hopefully they will take it out Monday.
The next big step is waiting for the results of the 2nd biopsy of the lymph nodes, which we should get either
Wednesday or Thursday and then hopefully the team can put a plan of action together to start treatment.
Michelle will have to go Mon - Fri for 5 weeks for Radiotherapy and one day a week for chemotherapy.
So that s where we’re up to now, its Sunday morning 9.47am 31st May 2009.
I’ll now start to write this diary day by day...............................................

A Normal Day? (2009-06-05 17:40)

Tuesday 2 June 2009:

Another red hot day and more wash to do!
Michelle had a cup of coffee in bed and I could of lay in bed all day, maybe because I was relaxed knowing
that she was home.
She got up and had a wash and walk in the garden, but again feeling tired so she s off for a lay down on the
bed.
I took time out to read Manda s blog today and her latest entry.
I was amazed how much her day felt like mine.
16
I was in that dark place Saturday, the day after Michelle s bad news.
I walked up the road (don t know why!) then back home.
Sat down and walked to the paper shop, then back home.
Michelle was still in hospital at the time and I just kept thinking the worst again and couldn’t get it out of
my mind, no matter how hard I tried.
And as for Manda s memory I knew what she meant.
I ve got so many things to do I have to write a list out each night so I don t forget.
Still dreading this Thursday when we get results from biopsy, time seems to be dragging.
Right! Shopping list to sort out, but I can t do that until the district nurse has been so might do some
hovering!
I m not looking forward to going back to work next Monday after two weeks off, it s the thought of leaving
Michelle on her own.
Well I ve had enough time on here now, better crack on.
We both just want to sleep all day&&&&&

On Her Way Home (2009-06-05 17:40)

Monday 1st June, 2009:

Started sorting the house out when Shaun phoned to say Michelle had been to contact to say she could come
out of hospital today!!
I called Michelle and she said doctors had been around and said that she might as well be at home and then
come back on Thursday for the results of the lymph node biopsy ( and god are we dreading that )
So now it all gun blazing to get the house cleaned for Michelle.
Sarah mowed the lawn, Joyce made the bed and cleaned up.
I went to the nursery and bought all plants and did all her hanging baskets, so it all looked lovely when it
was all done.
But seem to be running out of hours in the day!
Got her home mid afternoon but she was really tired today, so had a look at her garden and now gone for a
lay down on the bed with the fan on.
I ve found five mins to sit down now to write our diary.
Got forms to fill out so she s exempt from paying for medication and another sick note to send off.
Phone and mobiles ringing all the time, which is understandable but she just too tired today and doesn t
really want to talk to anyone.
Hopefully a bath and good nights sleep in her own bed will do her good.

Unlpug That Bloody Phone ! (2009-06-05 17:42)

Wednesday 3rd June 2009:

We both didn’t get up until 9.30am, can t remember the last time I got up that late.
Michelle s really tired again and had to motivate her to have a wash and get dressed.
One of her best friends from the college, Tina is coming to see her today.
I ve got a Gardner coming around to price up how much it ll be to keep doing the garden.
So I m hoping its going to be more relaxing today, just feel tired so god only know what Michelle feels like.
Just hoping that the phone doesn’t ring too much today or it might just end up out of the window.
It ll be bed early tonight because up really in the morning for biopsy results

17
Bad Day (2009-06-05 17:43)

Friday 5th June 2009:

We didn t want to get up today!
Michelle lay in bed whilst I did the whole house in one big swoop.
Then I d just come out the shower and all hell let loose, everyone turned up at the same time.
The men from Marliene Reid Centre to pick up our old table and chairs and then a knock at the door so I
answered it in my towel and it was the district nurse!
Michelle was in the bathroom so she went up stairs to her.
After she d gone it was so nice, no phone ringing, nothing to do&&&.so Michelle had a lay down on the
bed because she thinks she s pulled a muscle in her leg and it really hurts.
Can you believe it, two types of cancer in her body and she s moaning about a stiff leg!
Michelle s boss at college Maggie came to see her this afternoon, so gave me a chance to go to the gym and
get out of the house&.so nice.
When I got back Michelle was in bed freezing, and said her body just ached all over and she was thirsty all
the time.
She s had a tablet and lots of drinking and warming up a bit so I ve left her to rest.
Still dreading going back to work Monday but needs must.

Biopsy Results (2009-06-05 17:43)

Thursday 4th June 3 2009:

We both didn t sleep well, tossing & turning.
Got to the hospital early to beat the traffic and sitting about waiting seemed like ages.
I dropped Michelle off and parked the car, when I got to the hospital she was sat on the bench between two
smokers&..that really helped.
Whilst we were sat waiting she just kept thinking about smoking then.
We were called in by Louise at bang on 8.30am and went in to see Mr. Gardner (A lovely man).
He told us that the lymph nodes had no sign of cancer spreading from the cervix, but hadn t got all the
results back to see if it was a different sort.
He said he d phone us after 2pm if the results had come in.
We went back to the car not really knowing if it was good or bad news.
On the way home we stopped off at a food van and Michelle had a bacon, mushroom & egg cob and ate it
all except one mouthful, I was very impressed.
She wanted to go a ride over to Tracy s house so I could sort the Nintendo Wii out.
We had about an hour there and came back home to wait for the phone call, it ran about 6 times and then
my mobile went off whilst Michelle was on the phone to Josh.
It was Louise from the hospital, said she s tried the house phone but engaged.
She asked if it was OK to tell me the results, I said yes and she started&&&&&&&&&&..
Turns out it s a type of Lymphoma that is LOW GRADE TYPE B.
Still wasn t sure if it s good news or what, if that makes sense!
Anyway the Oncologist Mr. Simon s is going to phone Friday to arrange an appointment to see him next
Thursday.
So as Andy Hill taught me, that s another one to tick off the list.
I m thinking it s a MC Donald s for Michelle and a beer for me now.
And it s still only tea time, another roller coaster day.

18
Blue Badge (2009-06-06 16:22)

It’s a lazy day today.

Done all my washing and drying and only one phone call today.
Everywhere just seems so quiet, but that’s good because Michelle’s cold and tired again.
One thing that did pick her is is that it seems we might be able to get a blue badge for the car?
Don’t know if we can, will have to look into it Monday.
She’s so chuffed, and said ” Just think we can go to B &Q and park right outside”
I laughed and said to her ” Why do you fancy going to B &Q then? ”
She said ” Not really!”
Michelle’s just about caught up with all her Sky + programmes which she missed when she was in hospital,
but now Big Brother has started so she’s in her element.
I’ll finish my blog and then do.................NOTHING !! YES !

Wet Sunday (2009-06-07 13:18)

It’s been raining all weekend so we haven’t been anywhere, Michelle’s too tired anyway.
This Sunday is like the day before you go back to school after the big holiday’s, getting my uniform out etc.
Bought a new phone from EBay yesterday with an answering machine because Michelle dreads the phone
ringing all the time, she just feel that she wants to be on her own.
So when I’m at work she can put it on and call anyone back if she wants to, I bet that sounds awful but it’s
just how she feels right now.
The Oncologist never phoned Friday so I hope they do Monday so we can see them Thursday and make a
start with treatment.

1st Day Back At Work (2009-06-08 18:02)

Well my alarm went off at 4am and after two weeks off it felt like the middle of the night.
And hated every minute today, not being with Michelle and worrying about her.
Also was thinking about Andy & Emma today as it was their first Chemo session, we’ve got that to look
forward to.
Hospital phoned back and we are to see the Oncologist Dr. Simmons on Thursday at 2pm.
Came back from work and did the house work, Michelle ate really well today : Toast & Tea, Sunday Dinner(
from yesterday! ), MC Donald’s and Jelly for her tea!
Also ordered some more Fortisip from the doctors..........Yummy!
Won’t take much rocking tonight, and looking for to our first visit to Oncology.

Oncologist Anti - Climax (2009-06-11 21:18)

I had to do 4 hours at work today to get paid a full day and not use another holiday, work has been great
like that.
Jayne came to do Michelle’s hair about an hour before we went, she put some make up on and looked well,
although still very thin.
We got to the hospital 1/2 hour early ( as usual! ) and took our seats in the waiting room.
19
Don’t know if it was just me but everyone seems to be talking about losing their hair and wigs, which didn’t
do Michelle much good.
Then a nurse called us in to see the consultant, she said it was really busy and usually the consultant has a
chat and then an examination.
No such luck for us, examination first, which I went out the room.
Then I was called back in to Michelle who was sitting on her own, we sat there and heard through the door
the consultant talking about her (which I thought was really bad)
After a few mins we were called back in with the specialist Lymphoma nurse & a cancer nurse ( who were
both so nice )
The consultant carried on to say that he needed to discuss her case more with a professor to try and treat
the Lymphoma & cervical cancer at the same time.
And that we should come back next Wednesday!
All he seems interested in was talking to the nurses about raising money from different drug company’s to
fund student learning.
So STILL no bloody answers!
Why hadn’t he talked to the professor before?
Anyway after a blood test we drove home rather pissed off and have to wait more time until they plan her
treatment, wait....wait....and more waiting.
Now tired after LOADS of MORE washing and off to bed.
Can you tell I’m not happy! ???

Manda and Pete (2009-06-11 22:58:07)

Patrick & Michelle
I am so sorry you didn’t get your answers today. I really thought it might be the ”turning point” appointment for
you. On a positive, once they tell you what the treatment plan is, you feel ike something is happening, and everything
starts to move quite quickly. The waiting is hard though, but not long now.
Keep busy and keep smiling
Manda & Pete

Andy (2009-06-12 16:09:55)

Got to agree with Manda and Pete. Once things kick in then it all seems to happen at once. Although the waiting
does seem to go on and on.
Praying for you guys.
Andy & Emma.

GP’s Help (2009-06-12 19:15)

I’ve had a good day at work today and Michelle’s had a busy one.
We’ve put yesterday behind us now and look forward to next Wednesday.
The district nurse, then GP turned up today, and they have both been fantastic.
The nurse has ordered some flavoured mouses as Michelle hates those Fortisip drinks, and asked the GP for
some medication as her Lymph Node in her back as its hurting, and he wrote a prescrition out straight away.
Our GP also told her to fill forms out for a Blue Badge, bus pass and disablility living allowance, which was
a big surprise as I work full time and Michelle gets full pay for 6 months.
The answering machine is working a treat!
Michelle went out on the front today to say goodbye to her brother Tracy, he’d called in to see us as he’d
been in Coalville.
And some neighbours came out to shed sympathy and kind words, sorry that sounds awful but I know that
20
Manda & Andy will know what I mean!
They were shocked at her weight loss I think, she said she was tired and made a quick exit.
She’s now sat eating a salad and looking forward to her jelly, I’m thinking that she’ll soon start looking like
a jelly if she eats anymore.
Time for Coronation Street now, ermmm I mean....... big night out with a nightclub to finish!!! LOL. Not
at my age...awwwwwwwwww.( too much washing )

Another Weekend Gone (2009-06-14 16:04)

Saturday was a quiet day, we didn’t go anywhere or do anything ( much the norm now )
The phone has slowly stopped ringing.
Sunday was such a hot day and was determined to get Michelle out of the house.
She suggested we go to the local garden centre ( she loves her garden ) and my mum wanted to come up to
see her but I knew that would be a two hour session and would of worn Michelle out.
So to kill two birds, we went to the garden centre and nipped in my mums on the way back.
After 1/2 hour interrogation she was tired and ready for home!
She gets on really well with the lady that owns the garden centre and they both shed a tear when they met,
she couldn’t believe her weight loss.
Michelle wanted to wear a jacket because she was paranoid about her weight, but I told her it’s nothing to
be ashamed of.
I can’t believe how much she’s eaten today, but her belly is swelling up more.
Looked on the Internet as it’s called Ascites and a sign of cancer but didn’t want to look too far.
I’m hoping she can start treatment so she doesn’t have to drain it again.
Looking forward to seeing the Macmillan nurse next week, although I’ll miss her as I’m working.
Ever since the weekend in Sheffield when I first started to notice her weight loss I’ve been taking photo’s of
Michelle, even in hospital.
I suppose it sounds weird when you write it down but I’ve got a vision of putting the photo’s to CD with
music and later on looking back what we’ve been through as well as reading this blog.
More plants to water now as Michelle watches her Sky+ programmes.
Then early bed for me as I’ll be up at 4am again ready for work.

Visit When She’s Better! (2009-06-15 17:00)

Early finish at work today so managed to pick up a DLA form and start the process of filling it out, hoping
the Macmillan Nurse will able to help with that.
It still amazes me that Michelle’s work friend’s phone up and when I say that she doesn’t want to see anyone
right now they respond with:
” I’ll call back next week when she’s feeling a bit better”
Like in 7 days time she’ll be on top of the world and made a full recovery!
My mum phoned today to say that when we went down yesterday my little niece saw Michelle and said that
she looked really thin.
My mum explained that she’d got cancer, and her reply was ” We’re doing that at school”
Sometimes I get lost for words.................

21
Moving Forward, Belly Ache & Worrying (2009-06-17 19:20)

Wow what a day!

Again I did four hours at work then they let me come home.
Arrived at Oncology at 12pm, then was taken through to see Mr. Simmonds at 12.30pm.
He spoke so quickly and rushed through all the treatment, drugs etc our heads were in a spin.
A fantastic Lymphoma nurse called Lynda Beck then took us into another room and explained everything
in plain English.
Michelle has to be back at hospital at 10am Thursday 18Th June 2009 to have a bone marrow test to see if
the cancer has got into her white blood cells, with results in 10 days.
Then straight after she starts 4 days of steroids, which will make her high and eat for England.
Next is Monday 22ND June when she will start on Rituximab( for 4 weeks ), which is a Monoclonal Antidotes
treatment to shrink the Lymphoma as it’s blocked one of her kidney’s and they need good kidney function
for Chemo.
After 4 weeks she’ll start Chemo And Radio to shrink the Cervical cancer.
After that, back to the Lymphoma for a full dose.
The shock of the day was that we thought Low Grade Lymphoma was the best, but turns out that High
Grade Lymphoma is treatable but Low Grade there is no know cure......... Yet.
She was shattered after today and as she lay on the sofa sleeping I watched her and thought, if only I could
have her cancer and take it away from her.
We know this journey won’t be plain sailing but just trying to keep out chins up, hard for me after a day
like this but Michelle is positive and I’ve got to be for her.
Then Tomorrow is another day......

Ouch! Bone Marrow Biopsy. (2009-06-18 16:35)

Work has been really good to me but can’t push my luck too far so had to go in today.
Michelle had to be at LRI for 10am and I hated it because I couldn’t be there.
Her sister-in-law Kay took her to the hospital today, and she has been such a great support for both of us
today.
Michelle said the pain of the biopsy was unbearable and shed a few tears because of the pain, seeing ladies
who’ve lost their hair and it just generally got to her today.
Bought her some new pots for her many house plants and also bought her a new plant which she looked at
whilst eating ANOTHER McDonald’s!
So that’s another one to tick off the list that’s been done.
She’s also taken her first dose of steroids, and that’s be a four day course now.
And yes it’s Friday tomorrow!
Also had a nice supportive email from Manda & Pete today, such a nice feeling to be in contact with people
in the same boat and looking forward to that meal.

Eating For England (2009-06-20 09:36)

Well these steroid tablets must be doing something, I’ve never seen Michelle eat so much in one day and still
be hungry.
She’s also putting some weight back on slowly but surely and she’s full of life, and loads of energy.
Mick is coming Saturday morning to fit a new front door and Michelle didn’t want a letter box in it as we
22
have a box on the wall.
As she’s sat there thinking she suddenly decides that she does want a letter box after all.
So she says she going across the road to see Mick and tell him so he can cut one one for the morning.
Three hours and a couple of glasses of wine later she comes back but I’ve fallen asleep.
Someones gone out and locked all the doors.
So after 1/2 hour of banging on the door and throwing stones at the window I woke up, much to the
amusement of the neighbours!
She said to me that she really really enjoyed herself because they were all having a laugh and drink and no
talk of being ill or hospitals, she had a big smile on her face.

Cigarettes And Tears (2009-06-20 09:48)

Sunday 24TH May 2009 was the last time Michelle smoked a cigarette, on the way into hospital.
She’s smoked since she was 14 and she’s now 47 so to get this far without one is a big step and I’m so proud
of her.
She does find it very difficult some days and finds herself watching TV programmes and notices the people
that are smoking.
She decided on the day of diagnosis that she wouldn’t smoke again but she woke up this morning with really
bad cravings.
She wanted me to buy her 10 cigarettes from the shop and keep them and give her one a day, but I know if
she has one a day then it’ll be 3....4....10.
She had a good old cry and I tried to take her mind of things by talking about her garden.
So we’re off to her favourite garden centre today to get another bush, so that means more digging for me :(
I know there is a long battle ahead, and reading Manda & Pete’s blog today I’m not looking forward to the
Chemo because Pete’s having a bad few days.
But I am so proud of her and what she has put up with so far.

Long 1ST Day Of Treatment (2009-06-23 16:45)

This was Michelle’s first day of treatment so took the day off work as holiday ( 9 days left now)
We got to Oncology at 9.15am and the saw a lovely man called DR. Kennedy, he explained everything on
our level and made it all so clear, he’s the specialist that’s treating Michelle’s Lymphoma.
Being as you need good liver function for chemo to work she needs the Lymph node that is pressing on her
kidney to be shrunk down so her kidney function is good because right now the lymph node is blocking one
of her kidneys.
The drug is called Rituximab and it’s a Monoclonal Antibody, basically it hit’s a specific part of the Lym-
phoma and encourages the body to fight the cancer cells too.
We then went upstairs to the day ward and the staff we so nice, and funny.
Michelle was seen by a male nurse, David who first put the cannula in.
She said to him ” I can’t look when you put the needle in”
To which he replied ” I’m the same, as soon as I’m about the hit the vein I close my eyes as well!”
All was going well until they sped the drip up for the third time, then she complained of a sore throat. We’d
been warned about flu like symptoms from DR. Kennedy so I just told her to have a cold drink.
Then her throat became like sand paper, so I told the nurse.
As she was coming over Michelle’s face went bright red and she was gasping for breath and her eyes rolling
back.
23
The nurse was brilliant and gave her 3 injections and turned the drip off, apparently it is a very common
side affect, although scary.
After 1/2 hour all was well and the drip was switched back on, and we eventually got out around 5.30pm so
a long day.
We were both tired when we got home, although I hadn’t done anything but we were both pleased that at
least treatment is underway now.
Today we’re both at the top of the roller coaster and it’s a nice day whilst it lasts.
Check up on Wednesday and then back for session two next Monday.

Up And Not Out (2009-06-24 17:47)

So another visit to Oncology today for a check up with DR. Symonds.

Straight forward we thought, but it never is that way and we’re getting used to that now.
He wanted to do and X-Ray to pin point the cervical cancer so he could plan radiotherapy,
but Michelle’s stomach is distended again so any X-Ray wouldn’t work correctly.
So after blood tests, he’s booked her in for tomorrow to have the fluid drained again.
This got her down but I tried to make her positive by saying that at least it’ll be out of the way by tea time.
So she’s off there for 9am with Kay( who is a star ) for a full days session, she’s dreading it but the nurse
reassured her it won’t be as bad as last time.
I’ll be at work again, and I hate that when I can’t be there for her, but what can you do.......win the lottery!
Then back next Monday for 2ND treatment & Wednesday for check up.

Another 5 Liters (2009-06-25 17:16)

Michelle went in the LRI today to have her stomach drained for a second time.
She had wound herself up again but admitted it wasn’t half as bad as last time.
Another 5 liters this time they drained away, and she’s so glad it’s over.
She got home around 4pm and started on the crisps and chocolate, I’ve never seen her each as much in all
the time I’ve know her!
I’m pleased to see her with a good appetite though, as she’s putting a little more weight on each day.
So not much else to report, just looking forward to treatment number two on Monday now.
Onwards and upwards on our journey.

Too Much Time To Think (2009-06-27 16:29)

Well our Mac nurse came Friday, Belinda.

We wasn’t sure what to expect and I arrived half way through her visit because of work.
She filled out our DLA forms and said it shouldn’t take long to sort out.
She’d be having a chat with Michelle about treatments and how she was feelings before I got there.
I was delivering around Matlock & Ashbourne today, and don’t know whether I went off into a day dream
but sometimes when I’m driving around I have too much time to think.
One Minuit I’ll be headed towards that dark place and another looking forward to the future.
But today I was just watching couples, whether it was at traffic lights or just walking along.
Alot were just walking side by side and not even talking to each other and it just made me think how we all
24
take so many things for granted.
Like you’ll wake up the next day and everything will be the same, yet when your faced with this awful illness
it makes you realize what we take for granted.
Don’t get us wrong we’re not on the feeling sorry for ourselves trip, just if only people could see what they
have and how they think it will always be the same.
Enough of my deep waffle for now, Michelle needs more food!

2ND Treatment Goes Like A Treat (2009-06-29 16:10)

Michelle’s 2ND dose of Rituximab today, Kay picked her up and off they went.
I text Kay ( Michelle’s sister-in -law ) a few times from work to make sure she’s OK.
And all went well this time, no side affects and quicker than last time.
She’s tired now because she never really sleeps the night before the treatment, so she’s gone for a lay down.
I came home and was so so hot, did all my house work and jumped in a cold shower, oh so so nice..
So that’s us half way through her first treatment, things seem to be flying now.
27oC and due to get hotter!

Manda and Pete (2009-06-30 23:42:40)

That’s great news!!!!!!!! I’ve been having problems with accessing the site and e-mails so really pleased to be able to
read your blog and see that things seems to be going OK (well, as OK as they can). Things are picking up this end
too thank good ness - there is always light at the end of the tunnel! Haven’t heard how Andy and Emma are getting
on - have you?
Take care - and enjoy the summer!! Why do us Brits complain when its too hot and complain when its too cold he
he he he
Manda ( & Pete) x

1.2 July

Still On The Up (2009-07-02 16:26)

So Wednesday 1ST July 2009 and it’s off to Leicester for ANOTHER check up with Dr Symonds.
He was very pleased with Michelle today, said her stomach looked fine after draining, she looked alot better
than last week and time to do a scan to plan radiotherapy.
Everything seems like it’s moving so fast now, x-ray taken for radio planning and explained how the machine
worked and what would happen.
So after finishing the two weeks of retuximab, he’ll the start Radio straight away, Mon-Fri for 5 weeks (
Takes about 1/2 hour a day ) and one night’s stay for an internal radio ( but you don’t want to know how
that works! ) then onto Chemo.
Looking back only maybe two weeks and things felt like they were at a stand still but we are both so happy,
and apprehensive about our next stage of treatment.
We’re still at the top of the roller coaster and enjoying it, but know what goes up must come down and we’ll
deal with that when it happens.
For now we’re both happy and been having a laugh in the lovely summer sun, a summer to remember for all
sorts of reasons!

25
Weekend Parole (2009-07-03 19:08)

Michelle still feeling great and wants to go out for a meal over the weekend.
Oh Yes! getting out at the weekend may sound so normal!
but when you haven’t been out for weeks it’s so good to look forward to.( Like weekend parole)
As I’ve said before it’s amazing how many things we took for granted and now getting excited about a meal.
I wonder how long this UP will last?
Emailed Manda & Pete and they’ve got a week off the treatment, so all good there.
Haven’t heard from Andy & Emma, hope they are both OK as Emma’s going through her Chemo right now.
Nothing else to report and it’s the weekend...................

Race For Life (2009-07-07 18:23)

Such a busy weekend I haven’t had time to update our blog.

On Saturday Michelle was having a great day, so we went into Leicester as she wanted to get some new
clothes.
She got tired very quickly, so got what she wanted and headed home, but on the way home she fancied a
cold drink and sandwich in the pub beer garden.
So we stopped at the Bulls Head and it was so nice, I was looking at her like there was nothing wrong with
her.
After that we decided to pay a surprise visit to her mums, and she was so pleased and surprised to see
Michelle.
She had a good old natter, but again felt tired so we headed home.
But on the way home Michelle wanted to visit her favourite garden centre, it’s only small at the back of a
ladies house, and as I’ve said before Michelle gets on really well with the owner.
Previously I’d given the lady some money as she’s doing Cancer Research’s ” Race For Life” on July 15th in
Coventry.
She said that all the ladies in the race put a name on their vest numbers to show who they are running for,
and she asked if it was OK to put Michelle’s name on her vest.
We were both so chuffed and thought that it was such a nice thought, and Michelle was on a high for the
rest of the day.
On Sunday, another good day and we decided to go to Donington market but she didn’t think she’d able to
walk even past the first aisle.
So I suggested my mum’s wheelchair, she was a bit weary at first but said yes.
As we I pushed her she said it was so relaxing and was falling asleep!
But the most annoying thing was, the people staring at her like she was a leaper.
At least we both enjoying ourselves and I was so proud of her for making the effort.
Monday saw week three of retuximab treatment.
When Michelle and Kay arrived her notes or treatment were on the ward, so didn’t start until about 11am,
and all went great and she was home for 2.30pm
Again made her tired so after more food she had a little sleep.
It’s now Tuesday and just found time to do our blog update.
Work DONE.
Shopping DONE.
House work DONE.
We’ve had so many letters too over the last two days and she’s got abit confused and panicking about who
she’s seeing next.
I’ve wrote it all down for her and it’s appointment after appointment over the next three weeks.
26
Don’t think I’ll leave the blog this late to update again, like to do it day by day but with going out didn’t
really have time.

Getting Bored Of TV (2009-07-08 15:22)

No hospital check up today for a change, we usually see DR. Simons on a Wednesday but day off today.
I still finished work early but felt a little rubbish myself today.
We had planned to go out for a pub lunch but I didn’t really feel like it.
I feel guilty now because Michelle really fancied going and now she’s a bit quiet.
We had a chat and she’s getting bored of staying in and watching TV, must be so frustrating because she
was always on the go and never stopped.
I’ve now suggested going on Saturday, so that’s something to look forward to.
Just hoping for a good weekend, health and weather wise.

A Few Tears and It’s The Weekend (2009-07-10 17:23)

I missed out on updating yesterday so here now to fill everyone in.

Yesterday was quite weird, Michelle phoned me as I was about to go into Morrison’s to tell me that she’d
heard about her claim for DLA and said it had all gone through.
She said that she wants to get a car with it and that it will be her present to me for looking after her.
I had to walk back to the car because I felt the tears on the way, and it’s been a few weeks now since I’ve
cried.
I did the shopping and got back home, walked into the kitchen and burst out crying.
Michelle gave me a hug and I told her I’d rather have no money and no car if we could turn the clock back
and all would be OK.
I explained that I didn’t need presents or payments for looking after her, she then burst into tears.
So there we were in the kitchen hugging and crying.
She said that it’s what she wanted to do and a car would be something for her to look forward too as she
goes through her treatment.
So after work today ( Friday ) I took her a ride to the garages and she loves the new Ford Fiesta, but I was
just thinking ” I’m in a garage to see about a car for my now registered disabled wife, and at our age we
shouldn’t be”
Enough of our tears and sorrow for now though because it’s the start of the weekend, and she feels like going
out again.
She’s still worried about her hair falling out so I’ve secretly booked her in for a trim in the morning so she
can enjoy it while she can.

All Good Today (2009-07-11 20:33)

I can’t believe that a few weeks back we were both sat in all weekend as Michelle was so tired all the time.
Today we went shopping for Pokemon presents as we’re off to see Christopher on Sunday for his birthday,
and Kay is cooking a curry ( Yummy! )
I took Michelle to The Bulls Head for lunch but forgot to tell her I’d booked her in for her hair, so lunch
was a little rushed!
27
She loved having her hair done and Claire said that next time she’d come to the house, and if she did lose
her hair she’s sort it out shorter.
Michelle watching TV, I had a first and chatting to my ” Virtual” friend ( oh you know! )
And we put the world of cancer to rights and learnt alot from each other.
Now time for a lay down myself but bet I can’t get on the sofa, Michelle will be hogging that watching.......
Big Brother, Britain’s Got Talent, X Factor, USA Got Talent, ............need I go on! LOL

Birthday Party & Next Treatment (2009-07-13 17:16)

Sunday we both went over to Tracy & Kay’s for Christopher’s 8TH birthday party.
Lovely food and weather made it a great day, although Michelle got tired half way through and had to have
a lay down.
We went home about 6pm and she was better relaxing laying down but so nice to get out the house again.
Monday 13TH July saw Kay take Michelle for her last treatment of Retuximab and record time of about 4
hours to go through and all went well.
They had to wait then to see a nurse to discuss further treatment and that’s when the shock came.
She starts Radio on 27TH July Mon-Fri for five weeks, which we expected.
But on Wednesday 29TH July she also starts chemo at the same time!
A drug called Cisplatin, which I need to look up about, and that’s every Wednesday for 6 weeks.
My biggest worry now is how is Michelle going to manage Mon-Fri Radio when she’s had her chemo?
It’s all moving so fast now, and Linda the lymphoma nurse said she may also need a lymph node biopsy to
check her Lymphoma is still low grade.
So much to take in for today and think I might now have to start booking some days off work.

Manda and Pete (2009-07-13 19:04:37)

wow - thats great news! I know things may sound scary, but combined radio and chemo is best (well I think it is
anyway from what I’ve read). Its a ”double-blast” so thats got to be good to get rid of the little gremlins. Looks like
you might have to get that lemonade in sooner that you thought! Don’t forget some chemo drugs have very little side
effects - and at least it is only 6 weekly. I think its fab news!
Manda ( & Pete) x

Manda and Pete (2009-07-13 19:06:57)

oops sorry. Just re-read your blog and realised its once every week for 6 weeks. Still fab news though!

Calm Before The Storm (2009-07-16 18:22)

Not a lot to report all week really, up to now.

And next week will be quiet, except Wednesday when it’s a full day of tests and consultants.
This is the calm before the storm I think because the week after that will be all go!
And with help from my cyber friend I’ve got a list of shopping to do that will help with some of the side
affects.
Just more waiting now, and that’s always been the worst bit...................waiting.

28
Life Not What It Used To Be (2009-07-17 15:45)

It’s Friday and the weekend is about to start.

When we were younger that was it, here we go Friday night.
Now it seems like any other day, just that I haven’t got to go to work.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a dark day just a look back to what we used to do before Michelle’s illness and
maybe I’m feeling a little sorry for myself!
If only we all had that time machine, but we’d only want to go back a couple of months and then realise
how lucky we were then.
Don’t think all the rain and weather helps, and everyone feels better when it’s sunny........that’s my moaning
done for the day!
I must be bored because I’ve changed the blog layout and profile pic of Michelle eating AGAIN!( but I love
her to bits)
Not much to report either just waiting, and you’ll all know how we love that!

(2009-07-19 08:48)

[1]
Our roller coaster ride was a bit jittery over the weekend.
Saturday Michelle got a little down, thinking too much and talk of giving up smoking didn’t help.
She slipped last week and had some cigarettes, which I wasn’t happy about.
So Monday she’ll calling the GP to see if he can give her some patch’s or something to help.
After a good chat we decided to get out of the house, while we can.
So off to The Bulls Head for a drink, and got there too late to eat as they’d stopped serving.
So back home for a Chinese!
Michelle’s uncle Des from Cambridge phoned to say his son & wife had a little baby boy, and sent a photo.
He & Christine were over the moon, grand parents for the first time.
Over the weekend I had a mad idea for a charity calender based on the ”What Now ” website I use to keep
sane.
Everyone seemed to think it was a good idea, and hopefully it will be a success and raise lots of money.
I’ve emailed Admin & the press office from the site and am waiting to hear from them.
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/SmLP1chmyyI/AAAAAAAAABc/TsASdBPL5cI/s1600-h/bbbbbabby.jpg

Monday Again! (2009-07-20 16:01)

It’s Monday again, where does the weekend go? I think we should work 2 days and have 5 days off!
DR. Lewis came to see Michelle today about giving up smoking.
29
He’s told her he’ll put her Zyban, a tablet that helps to stop smoking, buy not whilst she’s having chemo.
He’s given her a prescription for 2 weeks off patch’s to start after chemo, then he’ll bring the tablets to the
house.
As our GP he has been absolutely brilliant in everything.
She’s now sat watching TV and filling her face with cream cakes!!
Yesterday when we went out she ate a full pub carvery and pudding then MacDonald’s on the way home,
cheese burger and large milkshake and loads of chocolate when she got back.....and still only size 10!
Nice to see her still putting weight back on and I’m not bothered what she eats as long as she enjoys it.

Tuesday’s AHHHH! (2009-07-21 19:55)

I’ve come to hate Tuesday now!

I’m up at 4am and in work for 5am, usually finished between 3pm and 4 pm then shopping( I hate doing it
at weekends)
Then back home to unpack it, make Michelle’s tea, clean up and go to sleep again.
Who said a woman’s work is never done? I hate to admit it, but I agree.
Michelle is eating for England but a bit worried about hospital on Wednesday as she’s got to see both
consultant’s, blood tests and a go on radio simulator.
It’s now 8pm and I need to go to bed, how sad is that!

Hospital Check Up (2009-07-22 16:11)

Michelle & Kay( her sister-in-law ) have been at the hospital all day today.
Blood tests first and then on to see one of DR> Kennedy’s team about her lymphoma.
Although she’s been eating like a horse, she’s lost two pounds over four weeks, which isn’t a lot really but I
thought she’d have put it on.
He doesn’t need to see her now until eight weeks time, when she’s finished chemo & radio.
Then off for some lunch and back in the afternoon to see DR Simmonds’s, her cervical consultant.
The bone marrow test she had done some time ago has finally come back clear!!
One less thing to worry about.
And Michelle’s lymphoma mass has gone from 19.7cm x 11.4cm to 17.5cm x 7.1cm in 4 weeks with the mild
Retuximab treatment, and her chemo treatment for her cervical will hit her lymphoma too.
It’s our 5th wedding anniversary on Friday and don’t know what to buy her, but want to make it a special
one.
After some advise from my ’virtual friend’ I have set up a blog on the ”What Now ” website about my
calender idea, :
http://www.whatnow.org.uk/blog/patrick-1966/2010-calender
What do I let myself in for? LOL

Our 5TH Wedding Anniversary (2009-07-24 18:36)

Today is July 24TH 2009 and it’s five years today since we got married, although we’ve been together for 18
years!
I got Michelle, a nice necklace, some Thornton’s & Lilly’s ( that we had on our wedding day )
30
I just wanted to make it a special day for her.
And the same day that we got permission form ”What Now” admin to start our calender!
I am so so pleased, just need all the interest from others now!
My ’Virtual Friend’( is she starting to sound like the secret banker on Deal or No Deal!! ) has told me she
wants to help in my calender and couldn’t think of anyone better to help.
She has helped us both in so many way with support, tips and just being on the end of a message and would
love her to be a part of the calender.
Takeaway and sleep tonight! Oh I am an old romantic!

Making The Most Of It (2009-07-25 17:24)

Another great Saturday but I’m thinking it might be the last for a while.
Monday is looming so fast now and the reality of radio & chemo are nearly upon us.
So we’re making the most of it while we can.
Went out for lunch with my mum (Joyce) to the Bulls Head, bought a new fridge freezer and Andy came
around to put our fence up on the front.
So a busy day, all in all and Michelle got really tired towards the end of it, think she did a bit too much.
So at home now relaxing and hoping for a good nights sleep, because we know we won’t Sunday night!
Did a bit of calender research this morning and everyone still excited, and more people getting on board
now, which is great.
Hopefully we are going to go for Macmillan as our chosen charity.

Night Before (2009-07-26 17:09)

Michelle and I are both a little worried of the unknown concerning her first session of radiotherapy on Monday
morning.
Then start of chemotherapy on Wednesday.
We’ve been out to buy some plants, and that’s about it today.
It feels like the last Sunday night before the big summer holidays at school and both know we’re not going
to sleep well tonight.
The old waiting game is here again...........................

1ST Radiotherapy Treatment (2009-07-27 18:27)

This seems like a mile stone day today, I’d class as the first REAL day of treatment.
Kay took Michelle to Leicester Royal and used our newly acquired ”Blue Badge” which arrived Saturday.
And after initial blood tests and waiting it was her turn.
She said the room was in the dark, and lots of lights flashing, the bed moved upwards and made a noise but
she didn’t feel anything.
All in all it only took 40 SECONDS to treat her !!!
She came home and is now really tired, so gone to bed for a few hours but she’s still hungry.
That’s day one out of the way, only five more weeks to go.
And now just want to get Wednesday’s chemo out of the way to tick another thing off our list.

31
Where Is Everyone? (2009-07-28 20:59)

I’m getting a bit disappointed about my calender effort now.

Everyone seemed so up for it at the start and now everyone ( except my virtual friend ) seems to want to
take a back seat.
As if we’ve not got enough to cope with, I’m wishing now I hadn’t of bothered.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me or are people just too busy?
Anyway the most important thing in my life right now is Michelle.
She’s had her 2ND radio today, and been really quiet tonight.
I think she’s worried about the chemo on Wednesday, as am I but can’t really show it to her.
Got my friends chemo shopping list today, bucket, biscuits, lavender, gloves, lemonade etc.
So just have to wait now to see what happens tomorrow......wait....wait...

1ST Day Of Chemo (2009-07-29 04:32)

Morning. It’s 4.30am and I’m about to set out to work, early finish today so I can be with Michelle.
We both haven’t slept well as it’s her first day of chemotherapy today.
She’s got to be there by 9am and then radio after chemo.
I’ll add onto this later when I know more........................
Michelle got home about 6pm after 3 attempts by a trainee to get a cannula in.
She had one bag of saline, cysplatin then another bag of saline.
Then onto radiotherapy after that.
She walked in, and I expected a wreck.
She sat down and told me all about it, DR. Symmonds said that she won’t lose her hair.
And that she told me she’d had a great laugh with the other patients, one of whom had been having cysplatin
for six weeks and had no side affects at all.
She then ate a Chinese and two egg custards and had a bath!!

Manda and Pete (2009-07-29 10:15:38)

I’m sure everything will be just fine! Thinking of you both today. Get that lemonade in the microwave ready on stand
by!!! Good Luck. I’ll bob back later tonight to see how things went
Manda ( & Pete) x

Manda and Pete (2009-07-29 21:08:40)

Fab!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking Good And Feeling Great (2009-07-30 18:10)

We both didn’t know what to expect with chemo, but we didn’t expect Michelle to feel so good as she does.
Maybe we are being too optimistic or don’t know what’s coming next but for now Michelle is feeling great!
After my blog last night, later on she had a bath and was sick but took a tablet and she was fine all night.
Today was radiotherapy again and after she got home she had McDonald’s, back again!
And Michelle feels fantastic in her self, I think the news that she’ll keep her hair has given her a great boost
and I’m so proud of her.
She has a great outlook and loves to have things to look forward to.
We thought Michelle would be spending the weekend in bed but, for now, we’re looking forward to it.
32
I’ve just got to make an entry now about our very good ’ Virtual Friends’ who have been great support to
us both through the weeks since diagnosis.
They had their results today from their oncologist after chemo treatment, and it has shrunk by 50 %.
Although they have more treatment to deal with ( and a holiday! )things are looking on the up and we are
both so pleased for them.

Manda and Pete (2009-07-30 22:21:25)

big kisses - thank you! Its amazing how close we have become over the last few weeks and how I put Michelles
appointments on the calendar same as Pete’s - and how I stress when you have got a treatment/appointment. Still
thinking bout that meal - and we’ll be there every step of the way - just like I know you two wil be too.

Feeling Tired (2009-07-31 18:25)

It’s the end of week one’s treatment already, that has shot by.
Michelle’s feeling tired today and has stomach ache, she thinks it’s the early morning that have caught up
with her.
Also the radiologist mentioned that she thought her stomach was swelling up again, so she’s started to worry
about that again now.
I can tell she’s not her normal bright self today and our new fridge freezer was supposed to come today and
now been told it’ll be 18TH August, so that’s put her down.
I phoned Curry’s and had a little word! Collecting a refund in the morning and hopefully Comet delivering
on Sunday, so that cheered her up a bit.
Long weekend for me now, I’d booked it to look after her when chemo started.
So 4 days off work!! With 2 days of radio at LRI thrown in.

1.3 August

Michelle’s Attitude (2009-08-01 16:32)

Went to Curry’s today to sort out the mess of our fridge freezer deliver.
Michelle is feeling a lot better today, and won’t keep still thanks to her steroids!
And her attitude will never cease to amaze me.
As I’ve got a long weekend off and will take her for her radiotherapy Mon & Tues we’ll have a bit of time
together.
Her idea of Monday’s day out is, and I quote:
” Let’s go to Leicester for a bit of radio, then we can have lunch on the way home and go clothes shopping”
And I’m thinking to myself, ’Have you really got cancer? !! ’
The boost of not losing her hair, as I’ve said before is amazing and really picked her up.
She mentioned it again today and said that she’s so happy about it.
I’ve had a message from Andrew from our calender group about what we need to do.
And to be honest I’m wondering if I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.
How he put it sounds very daunting and how professional it should be.
PR, design company, commercial printers etc.
Just hope we can pull together to pull it all off, but right now I’m not so sure.
I don’t want to fail or dissapoint anyone but it just seems such a big task, far bigger than when I’d had afew
beers and suggested it!!
33
I Had Been warned! (2009-08-02 16:27)

Another good day for Michelle today.

We had a drive around the shops although she did get tired and had to slow down, we really need that
wheelchair now and I’m going to chase it up Monday.
Then after more food, Jayne doing her hair and a coffee it came from no where........
We had been warned by our friends that it may happen, and to be honest thought we’d got away with it,
but no such luck.
All of a sudden.....BANG!...The chemo fart! LOL
OMG I thought the drains had blocked! Even Michelle felt sick!
We were laughing our heads off, as my eyes started to burn.
Thanks for the advise Manda, but didn’t see that one coming!
I’m now wondering if this is going to be our worst side affect of chemo?
Wish all days were as fun as this one.

My First Radiotherapy Day (2009-08-03 19:09)

Monday and a day off work. YES!

Believe it or not this is actually the first day that I have taken Michelle to radiotherapy.
Being clever I thought the M1 was the quickest way, it was until we hit the roadworks in Leicester.
Then the queue to get into the hospital car park, and making us ten Min’s late.
All went well though, followed by Michelle wanting to eat ( there’s a surprise eh? !! )
Off to the Toby Carvery with Miss Piggy needing pudding too, where does she put it all?
Back home she went straight to bed and I caught up with the calender group.
All is looking promising now, with a meeting with Macmillan office being set up, a big PR company interested
and James in Admin saying he’ll highlight our calender on the ”What Now?” website.
Michelle’s oldest school friend Lynne called out of the blue, and didn’t know she’d been ill.
So I pegged some washing out and cleaned up, whilst they had a waffle.
Now both just relaxing, early night and a lay in before more radio Tuesday afternoon.
And Tuesday should see her wheel chair arrive after I chased it up today.

Into Our 2ND Week (2009-08-04 16:06)

It’s nearly half way through Michelle’s 2ND week of treatment and it feels like it’s gone so fast.
I took her for radiotherapy today and all was well again, in and out in a matter of no time.
Then we she had a radiotherapy review with a nurse to make sure everything was going well.
Michelle told her that she keeps having to get up about 5 or 6 times in the night for a wee, but she said
that’s because the radio affects the womb lining and makes it more sensitive.
Back home again now, and she can’t wait to get my uniform ready for work again in the morning!
Doesn’t seem 5 Min’s since it was last Friday and I’d got a long weekend off.
A big chemo & radio day tomorrow for her, so back to her sister-in-law Kay to take over again.
We both don’t know what we’d have done with Kay, she’s been fantastic and nothing is too much trouble.
Always there to pick her up, rub her arms and hands and she falls asleep, because apparently I don’t do it
right...I’m too rough. lol.
34
Catching Up With Us (2009-08-07 17:57)

I think the last few weeks are taking it’s toll now.
We could just both sleep for England, I can’t be bothered to shave ( nor Michelle! )
Michelle always gets tired towards the end of the week, what with early mornings and treatment.
Having said that, she’s still planning to go shopping over the weekend.
And now we’ve got the wheelchair it’ll be a lot easier for her, a bit difficult to fit it in my car but we’ll get
there, the new fiesta will be a lot better. ( 4 weeks to go! )
So now two out of four weeks done, as far as radio & chemo are concerned.
Calender come to a stand still again, but did get a small piece printed about our calender in The Coalville
Times.
Also thought of printing all of this and saving it into a folder, for years to come if anyone wants to read it
all and look back.

Manda and Pete (2009-08-09 00:13:24)

I’ve decided I’m gonna turn my blog into a book. Maybe a little optimistic - and certainly something I couldn’t do
myself. I do think though that the REAL story is so much more helpful for people on this journey than the standard
leaflets the NHS print. Hey if we think about it - I read a blog of some random Japanese guy on the web that led me
to start a blog. I met you on the What Now forum and suggested it might be helpful for you to start a blog - blogs
are the REAL story and in my view - the ones that matter! You print it out - you keep it - share it with your grand
children and great grandchildren in years to come. Most important of all - keep this as a memory jog of the whole
journey- the rollercoaster journey.
As I am sure you do with mine, I read your blog every day. Its important. Its informative. But above all - its real!
You keep blogging- I’ll keep reading!
Manda ( & Pete x)

Wheelchair & Tears (2009-08-09 07:23)

Soon come around to Sunday again, and it’s been a lovely warm weekend.
Saturday saw us burn a bit of rubber in Michelle’s new wheelchair, it’s first outing.
I started off pushing her almost Lewis Hamilton style, but it made her light headed and told me to slow
down, I wondered why her knuckles were going white!
Still didn’t stop her sitting there eating a cream cake as I pushed her through the shopping precinct, and
that was after a sausage roll, twirl bar but before fish chips & peas and then her tea. Aren’t steroids great!!
But she loved getting out around the shops and not getting tired from trying to walk.
And I lost count how many times I lifted that chair in and out of my boot.
We needed to go into Wilkinson’s, where she used to work, but she was very apprehensive about people
seeing her.
Once inside she met her old friends and the manager and had a good laugh.
But on the way back to the car she had a little cry, and started telling me how the other ladies at chemo all
said the same about meeting friends.
They’d said that when people talk, you can see it in their eyes that they don’t know what to say or where
to look and that upset Michelle.
Back home that evening my sister Janet came to visit and I watered the plants as they had a girly chat.
Michelle tells me most things but sometimes I over hear things that make me think.
35
Like when she was talking to Janet I heard her say ” I could cry inside sometimes, but I don’t I just smile
and think positive”
So now Sunday and I’m up early again, wish I could sleep in sometimes.
Michelle is still sleeping, so when she rises and has a coffee we’ll be off out in the sunshine again to make the
most of it.
I think she wants to hit Loughborough today, so I’ll polish my wheels and we’ll be ready, only slower today!

Getting Upset. (2009-08-10 15:48)

As normal now on a Monday morning, Kay picked Michelle up for radiotherapy and the start of week 3.
And as normal I text Kay to check if everything was OK, they were in a cafe eating!
I finished at a 2.15pm today which was nice, so home to see Michelle.
She started to tell me that she got a bit upset at the hospital today.
Right from day one she has always been light headed, and hence the wheelchair along with being tired for
getting around.
But over the weekend she’s been more light headed than normal.
So as she sat waiting for radiotherapy today her face went pale, she had a hot flush and light head.
All of these combined made her feel rubbish and upset.
She told the nurses that the light heads are getting her down, and they asked if she wanted someone to come
to the house to talk about things, but she declined.
But they are doing a blood test when she goes back in the morning, they think she might be bit anemic.
It’s days like this that make you think more, and not just take it for granted that everything will always be
fine.
I’m going to make a fuss of her tonight and sit back from the calender stuff for a day or two to make sure
she’s OK.
I don’t want either of us to visit that dark place again, so get my smile on and I’m going to spend the night
with my number one priority - Michelle.

Good Old Steroids (2009-08-13 17:59)

Well it’s catch up time again, not blogged since Monday.

Michelle has had a rough time this week, after three weeks of radio & chemo I think things have caught up
with her.
So I put the net on hold to look after my number one priority - Michelle.
It was chemo & radio yesterday, and what a mess up that was.
She got there at 9am with Kay, then after seeing DR. Simmonds they went to chemo ward.
Finally about 1 pm they got her started, then before she’d finished it was off to radio with her drip still in.
Then back to chemo ward to finish off, and then she got home at 6.30pm.
It’s now Thursday and started 4 days of steroids today, so that’s picked her up a bit.
But still not the REAL Michelle, I can’t put my finger on it but she’s not as happy as she has been.
Than again that’s only to be expected with what she’s been through over the last few months.
Just hope she wants to look forward to the weekend now, maybe the thought of food will tempt her out? :)

36
Weekend Fun? (2009-08-15 08:06)

After a long week, Saturday is finally here.

Our car has now been sold, a bit too early I know but it had to go.
Now borrowed Joyce’s car for three weeks until the new car arrives.
Jayne came to do Michelle’s hair yesterday, and that always make her feel better.
And she’s now learning not to take her steroids too late in the day, otherwise she’s awake all night.
She had a letter from work, to say that her wages are going down to half pay from mid September.
So she’s now started to panic about work again, and she hasn’t done that for a while.
Think she’s just getting fed up and frustrated at home, not being able to do what she used to do.
I’m hoping to get her out of the house today, although the weather is rubbish.
We need some sunshine, that always makes you feel better doesn’t it?
I’m just rambling on now because I’ve got nothing exciting or ground breaking to write about, it’s just been
one of those weeks.

Bloody Wheelchair! (2009-08-17 17:31)

On Sunday we hadn’t got the car, so we went out in the wheelchair.

When I say we went out, Michelle sat eating crisps and chocolate whilst I had to push her up all the big
hills!
She wanted to go and get some more hanging baskets, then when we got to the nursery at the top of the
hill, it dawned on me that whatever she bought we’d have to get it back.
So then with two large hanging baskets on her legs, we had to leave the patio rose because it wouldn’t fit
anywhere :)
Back home and Matt drilled the holes to put them up, whilst she had me weeding and anyone that knows
me, I hate gardening.
My mum, Joyce had the car Sunday to do a car boot sale for Macmillan, and in the end made about £90
after Janet added a bit more.
This inspired me not to give up on my calender idea.
Monday I caught up with my emails, phoned Rachel @ Macmillan who is now going to contact James @
Admin.
I also emailed James and took a phone message from Claire @ Kavanagh.
So hopefully things will pick back up again now.
Lovely sunny day and that always makes you feel better.
No steroids for Michelle today, so she’s tired and watching Deal Or No Deal.
This is her last but one week of radiotherapy and can’t believe how quick it has gone.

Stressed Out (2009-08-18 17:06)

It’s been one of those days today.

After Radiotherapy Kay took Michelle over to see her brother Shaun, and they had a nice time sitting out
and eating a buffet that Viv had done.
I did food shopping straight from work, and Michelle turned up with Kay as I was unloading the car.
Straight inside to chomp on the cream cakes I’d got her, so much food and still only about size 8.
Now the stress bit!
Curry’s turned up and left a note to say they’d come to collect a fridge freezer, yes the one that was never
37
actually delivered, so on the phone to sort that.
The stupid woman who’s bought my old car has been stopped by the police and charged with illegal rear
tyres, although it passed it’s M.O.T 3 days before she bought it from me!
So she went to the M.O.T station to try and sort that out.
We could do without all of this rubbish right right :(
Chemo & Radio day tomorrow and Michelle is not looking forward to it after last week’s cock up, and the
fact that it’s supposed to be 20c tomorrow.

I put On My Tunes And I’m Ready For The Weekend! (2009-08-21 18:41)

Hello Readers!
Another week of radio & chemo over, it’s just going so quick.
I’ve phoned and wrote to DVLA about my old car and hope that’s the end of it now, and she is running
around on disabled tax, OOOO if she was to get caught.
Anyway, Michelle is good thanks to steroids.
And looking forward to baby sitting her brother Tracy’s and Kay’s children Christopher & Maria.
I’ve told them they need to be in bed for 7pm! But they know we’re too soft for that :)
Then on the Sunday we’re taking them and Kay on a helicopter ride, because it’s Maria’s 10Th birthday
and to thank Kay for all the hospital trips and being so good to us.
After I talked to Claire @ Kavanagh the other night, I text her to say that I’d got every one’s consent for
the calender.
She text back and told me that later that night she was rushed into hospital and needed surgery the next
day, I’m so shocked.
Went to see my mum after work and collected the car boot sale money, after she and my sister Janet added
a bit more, it rounded up to £100.
I can either send it to my local Macmillan office or use it for the calender, I’ll have to see what all the
members want to do with it.
Michelle is now sat watching some old programmes she Sky+’d and waiting for her tea.
I’ve got it cooking, cleaned up, opened a beer and that’s our night sorted.

Baby Sitting & Helicopter Ride (2009-08-23 14:46)

[1]
38
[2]
We’ve had a busy weekend all in all and so nice to get back to your own bed!
On Saturday we went out for a beer and some lunch at The Bull’s Head, and then my surprise for Michelle,
her hair being coloured by Claire.
I know how much not losing her hair meant to Michelle,and Claire made a lovely job and she was over the
moon.
Later Saturday it was off to Tracy & Kay’s to baby sit, we’d forgotten how much hard work it was!
After fish & chips, it was sweets and lawn darts!
We then stayed the night, which saw me sleeping on the floor by the patio doors!
I was hot, but a long story!
On Sunday, it was our surprise for Tracy & Kay to thank them for all they have done for us since Michelle
has been ill.
We took them all to Nottingham Airport for a helicopter ride, and they all loved it.
First time for Kay, Maria & Christopher but Tracy had flew a helicopter himself before but he still loved it.
They then shot off to London for a meal with Kay’s parents.
Now back home and back to reality.
Michelle was hungry & tired, no more steroids until Thursday now.
She’s now watching last nights X Factor, which she already watched last night!
Bed early for us both and back to work & hospital.
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/SpFPhH78KAI/AAAAAAAAABs/BCengO7emOo/s1600-h/Picture+003.jpg
2. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/SpFIiu7GMGI/AAAAAAAAABk/C4_oq3Yu3Lg/s1600-h/Picture+049.jpg

Last Week Of Radiotherapy & Down (2009-08-24 18:11)

It’s Monday and the start of the last week of radiotherapy, that will be 5 weeks done.
One more session of chemo next Wednesday and see where we got from there.
Today Michelle is the most down that I’ve seen her for a long time.
No steroids until Thursday, and she says that she just feels really rubbish today.
It’s horrible to see her like this, and doesn’t matter what I say or do it doesn’t change things.
I’ve managed to blag a week off work next week, and I’m so looking forward to that.
Jane @ Kavangh emailed me today, so hope to speak with her this week to push the calender along.
It’s gone a bit stale again, so needs some more input, and hope Jane will be able to help.

Treatment Over & A Rest (2009-08-28 18:34)

It’s another catch up week for our blog.

Today was Michelle’s last day of radiotherapy for now.
39
But at the end it’s taken it’s toll, her womb has been damaged due to radio burn.
She’s very sore and on a freezing gel to help it.
On Wednesday she went for her last but one chemo treatment.
She met a lady named Julie who was 27, with 5 children and cervical cancer.
Julie thought her world had come to an end, and couldn’t believe Michelle’s attitude towards her situation,
she made her laugh and understand that there is a light.
I am so proud of Michelle and what she’s been through, although not as bad side affects as some of our
friends but her attitude is amazing and helped us both so much along the way.
I’ve now got a week off work, and looking back to May when she was diagnosed seems like years away, and
that was my last time off.
We’ve got blood tests Tuesday, then Kay wants to take her for her last chemo Wednesday, and the rest of
the week to relax.
It’s nice to know Michelle can have a break now, before her internal radiotherapy and then the waiting to
see how all the treatment has done ...............

Bit Down & Sore (2009-08-29 15:41)

It is Michelle’s last day of steroids, and she tried just taking one so she could save one for Sunday but it
didn’t work.
She’s just taken her last two at 3pm and it’s given her a bit of a boost.
The affects of the radiotherapy are getting her down, so sore and uncomfortable for her down below.
She’s got all sorts of prescribed creams and gels but still in pain.
It’s her brother Shaun’s birthday today, so we’re off there tonight but Michelle only wants to stay for a
couple of hours and get back to relax.
It’s two weeks today when we get our new car, so she’s really looking forward to that.
And the same day Andy from work is coming to pave our patio, it’s nice to have something to look forward
to.
After next weeks last chemo, it’s a rest until September 12Th when she has internal radio.

Quiet Day & Relaxing (2009-08-30 13:09)

It’s a lazy Sunday today.

Last night at Shaun’s has worn Michelle out, and all she wants to do today is relax and watch TV.
So I’m cooking dinner, watered the plants and been to the tip, now got a spare half hour to get on the PC.
I’ve been thinking today about yesterday when I was pushing Michelle around town in her wheel chair.
People are so ignorant in the way that they just stepping out in front of you, won’t move and stare all the
time.
I think it must be the fact that she doesn’t look old enough to be in a wheel chair, and I know that’s rubbish
but it seems that what people are thinking when they look.
” What’s wrong with her? ” ” Why are they using a disabled bay?” are questions I can see going around in
their minds.
We saw a lady with her daughter from our village, and when the mother saw Michelle she said
” Oh, what have you been up to? ” and ” I hope your better next time we see you”
I know people mean well but, do people not think before they say things or are people so ignorant of cancer?
It’s not very often I have a rant! But thank you and rant over!

40
Sleepy (2009-08-31 17:30)

Michelle has been sleeping most of today, just tired all the time this weekend.
So not much to report really, just that I’ve got this week off work ( did I mention that before? !)
Pre-chemo blood tests at Leicester Royal on Tuesday, and then last chemo on Wednesday.
Hopefully have a bite to eat after bloods , if Michelle feels like it.
And a race around in the wheel chair!

1.4 September

Our Roller Coaster Ride Continues (2009-09-01 17:02)

Went to hospital today for bloods and even the nurse noticed that Michelle didn’t look well.
She’s off her food again now, also started with the metal taste in her mouth, still very tired and down.
Michelle has always been positive on our roller coaster ride so far, but as we take a dip down so is her feelings.
Nothing I can say or do makes her feel any better, so guess we’ll have to ride this one out.
Fingers crossed that her bloods are OK for chemo in the morning, or it may mean a blood transfusion.
Kay’s taking her in the morning.
She now sat on her favourite sofa watching her favourite programme, Big Brother.

Last Chemotherapy (2009-09-03 16:51)

Michelle did get her last treatment of chemo after all yesterday.
Another long day, with her getting home around 6pm.
Today is the start of 3 days of steroids, so a good day today.
We haven’t been out but been making each other laugh, especially seeing if my suit still fits for court on
Friday ( witness to an accident on the M42 TWO YEARS ago!)
She’s been catching up with her Sky+ programmes and I’ve just made tea.
Not done much on my week off but so nice to not be getting up at 4am everyday and being with Michelle
all day.
We’re hoping Michelle has a good day on Saturday so we can get out somewhere for the day.
Then see if she goes down again after the steroids run out on Sunday.

Things To Look Forward To (2009-09-04 15:46)

Jayne came to do Michelle’s hair today, and they’ve arranged to go out for lunch next Friday.
Kay also called today to see Michelle and there going out for lunch Monday.
Then lunch with Tracy & Kay next Saturday when we both pick our new cars up.
Michelle said that it gives her a boost when she’s got things to look forward to.
And with the help from steroids she having a good day today.
Court dragged on but actually got away before lunch, after giving my evidence.
Not sure of the outcome, the porshe driver that was hit is going to call me later to let me know.
So hopefully this roller coaster is starting to climb back up again.

41
Weekend Gone Again (2009-09-06 16:55)

Well where did this weekend go again?

Didn’t really go out but sorted a lot of things.
Matt made us a new wooden gate for the side of the house, that took us until about 6pm.
Chinese takeaway, as I was too tired to cook and that was Saturday done!
Sunday we had a trot out in the wheel chair, bought some varnish for the gate.
Came home and I varnished whilst Michelle sorted the washing out.
Michelle saved two steroids for today and it seemed to work well, although she is very worried about her
internal radiotherapy on September 12TH which is only understandable.
I tried to reassure her but I know it’s on her mind as it gets closer.
I think sometimes that our blog sounds really dull, but then think that hopefully in years to come when
anyone looks back on this, our children, maybe grand children.
They will see our day to day life’s and maybe understand how life has been for us.

Monday Fun (2009-09-07 18:29)

The alarm went off at 4am and it felt like the middle of the night, oh back to work.
Michelle spent the day with Kay shopping, out in her trusty chair.
No time for lunch, so stopped at McDonald’s on the way home.
She was tired when I got home, some she went to bed and I’ve just spent two hours emailing people concerning
our calendar effort.
Time to sort some tea out now, and then an early night for me.

Last Weeks catch Up (2009-09-12 16:16)

Well where did that week go?

As soon as I got Monday out the way, the week flew by.
Michelle started the week a little down and fed up, and Wednesday she started feeling
sick but her anti sickness tablets weren’t working.
So off to see DR. Patel, as her usual doctor, DR Lewis has Wednesday’s off.
DR Patel gave her some anti sickness tablets and when we got home they were the same ones she’d already
got!
So I phoned up Thursday to get them changed, whilst Michelle was at hospital having pre op check ready
for her internal radiotherapy on Monday.
He also advised some herbal tablets, as Michelle has now started the menopause ( which we knew would
happen as we’d been warned about it on day one of diagnosis )
And after taking two it’s amazing what a difference it’s made.
No hot flushes etc and feeling more up beat.
Friday she woke up with conjunctivitis! So phoned GP surgery, who have been absolutely brilliant, and they
sorted a prescription.
Now it’s Saturday and our new car is still not here, last update said it was still on the ferry from Holland!!
We got out in the lovely weather shopping today, good old wheel chair did it’s job again.
Michelle is on the phone now to Silvia, a lady she made friends with at chemotherapy.
She’s had her internal radiotherapy so she’s telling Michelle all about it, not sure if that’s good thing or bad.
Our calendar was zooming away, but another week has gone by now and we are no nearer.
42
I’m thinking that we’ve got to get it designed and printed by mid to late October at the latest as Jane @
Kavanagh wants to do a national press release early November.

Nervous & Shopping (2009-09-13 15:31)

We went out shopping again today, Michelle’s spending money like it grows on trees.
But as she said to me today, she doesn’t worry about money anymore because she’s just glad she’s alive and
it cheers her up, which was quite a sweeping statement but true.
So back home and she’s packing her bag ready for Monday 14TH September when she goes in for her internal
radiotherapy.
I know she’s worried, and so would I be, but she’s trying to stay positive by looking forward to next weekend
when we get the new car and Andy starts paving our patio.
I’m so proud of what she has been through already, thinking and reading back on this blog and seeing how
far we’ve come in such a short time.
We both know it’s a long road we’ve got to go down, but each step is a step nearer to winning.

Radiotherapy Treatment (2009-09-16 12:16)

Monday 14TH September 2009.

This was the day Michelle went into hospital for the night for her internal radiotherapy for her cervical
cancer.
She got to the hospital with Kay for 10am, down to operating theatre at 1pm for the insertion of the rods
etc and back up to her room for 2.30pm.
They connected the machine at 6pm and she had to lay on her back, not even lifting her head up off the
pillow for 15 HOURS!
We now have to wait for a CT scan, but DR. Simmonds said that with his experience and examination he
said that the cervical mass is now 5cm ( don’t know what it was before ) and the lymphoma mass is 8cm (
this was 19cm x 11cm ).
She had a bath and coffee in the hospital and got home around 2.30pm on Tuesday.
Michelle went straight to bed and got up for an hour early evening.
The combination of the general anesthetic, morphine and being awake all night had wiped her out.
But everything went well and she’s home now.
Wednesday 16TH September 2009
I did a half day at work today and got home for 9am and Michelle was still in bed.
She then got up for half an hour for a coffee and some cereals, but was tired again and back off to bed.
I’m off to do the food shopping now, GREAT!

Feeling Better (2009-09-17 16:58)

It’s now Thursday and Michelle is feeling a lot better, although her temperature did go up to 38 so had to
keep an eye on that.
She’s had a nap this afternoon and is getting hungry, although going off some food’s now.
She says that she’s got that metal taste in her mouth again and can’t really taste her food much.
I was talking to one of my mum’s neighbours yesterday, and she has cancer, and 3 years a go she was given
43
6 months to live.
Her husband had to carry her to the toilet, she couldn’t eat solid food.
She had her chemotherapy treatment but no radiotherapy.
Her son saw an article about broccoli and it’s benefits for cancer.
For the last 13 months she has had a broccoli stalk put through a juicer and drank the juice.
She no longer requires treatment, and no shadow showing on her CT scan.
I found this very interesting and Michelle gagged at the thought of drinking pulped broccoli!
But what have we got to lose?
I went to the bank yesterday and passed the Ford garage and saw a car transporter parked outside.
My mums car steered itself into the car park, where I saw Shane, and old friend that is dealing with our car.
” Fancy seeing you here Pat” he said ” your car arrived about an hour a go! ”
So it’ll be ready Friday afternoon to collect. :)

Busy, Busy, Busy (2009-09-20 09:21)

[1]
Where does the time go?
It’s now Sunday, so catch up time again after a busy weekend.
On Friday 18TH September 2009 we picked our new Ford Fiesta up, it was a mixture of emotions for me.
One way I was so pleased to be taking delivery of a brand new car, but on the other hand knew that it was
because of Michelle’s health that we were getting it.
She’s slowly feeling better now, after her internal radiotherapy, although still very sore, but still in a good
frame of mind and keeping her chin up.
I know Michelle will never let this thing beat her, she’s got too much of a positive attitude for that.
Then Andy, a mate from work, started the ground work on our patio.
He’s making it all flat and maintenance free so that should be better for Michelle, and me!
He and Adam where there all day, whilst Michelle and I had a drive round in our car like a pair of teenagers.
We’ve just got the dates through for Michelle’s CT scan and that’s on 28TH September, and then to see DR
Kennedy on September 30TH about her Lymphoma.
So the old waiting game starts again now.
The ”What Now?” website that we use has closed down and been replaced by another site.
I can’t get on that site, or the Calendar group site and hope that all my calendar work and group is not lost.
But most of all I can’t contact Manda & Pete or Andy & Emma anymore, so if you guys are reading this
please contact us because I don’t know how to get in contact now, Thanks.
So it’s now Sunday and I’m off to take my mum shopping, then back to pick Michelle up and we’re taking
44
her mum out for Sunday lunch.
Back home for a couple of beers and that’s our weekend sorted.

1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/SrX0q-8xcxI/AAAAAAAAAB0/mgT0vHI_GXE/s1600-h/Photo0290.jpg

Manda and Pete (2009-09-20 11:25:22)

Pat - glad you wrote your blog today - I too have been trying to get in touch!!!! I’m still here! Managed to get on
new site, but as yet I am not a fan.
Manda (and Pete)xx
P.S I’ve wrote war and peace (for a change!!! he he he) on my blog over last few days to make sure people can keep
up to date seen as though the what now site has been down - happy reading!

Manda and Pete (2009-09-20 12:00:23)

is your e-mail working Pat?
Manda

Weeks Catch Up (2009-09-25 18:30)

We never seem to have the time lately to write our blog day by day.
So here we are again playing catch up with our day to day life on our roller coaster ride.
Michelle is enjoying the break from treatment right now, although she’s felt rough and tired most of this
week.
It was my mum’s birthday on the 23RD so we called in to see her, but Michelle is finding being around a lot
of people makes her tired more quickly.
She’s tired in the day and watching TV but when it’s time to go to bed she can’t sleep.
Also having trouble after her radiotherapy, with controlling her bowels as it has affected her linings.
So she’s up countless amount of times a night going to the toilet.
Although we had to laugh the other morning, she got up to go to the toilet about 4am and it woke me, so I
got up too as it was nearly work time.
She was coming back into the bedroom as I was going out, and we met in the dark without her contact lenses
in!
To say she could of woke the street wasn’t an exaggeration!! and her exact words were:
” All I could see was a belly coming towards me, no legs or arms, just a belly!” Charming!
Now Friday and the end of the week again, and two days off for me and another 13 week sick note for
Michelle, care of DR Lewis.
We’re hoping to go to Matlock for the day tomorrow, but can’t plan anything until the day to see how
Michelle is feeling.
Now one week since we got the car and it needs washing and fuel, so nice to have but still nervous about
driving it, don’t want to scratch it!
I’ve had a couple of emails from Grant @ Deep about our calendar and now trying to get the photo’s sorted
with help from my virtual friend.
If we can get photo’s sorted in two weeks, he can design and print them in one week then Jane @ Kavanagh
can do a press release in early November.
Just hope it all works out in the end.

45
Stay In Saturday (2009-09-26 16:30)

Michelle woke up this morning in a good mood, but after being up for an hour she was tired.
She had a cuppa but didn’t fancy anything to eat, so sat watching TV whilst I sorted the washing.
Then I went into town to get a few things and Michelle stayed on the sofa relaxing.
When I got back she soon made light work of the pie and chips I bought her, and then she was tired again.
She said to me that she’s just fed up with feeling tired all the time.
So it’s stay in Saturday today, just vegging out.
I’ve come on the PC and she’s gone back to bed.
This must be really boring to read, but it’s our day to day life and sometimes it does get like this.
You just put up with it and hope the next day is a little better.

Stay At Home Weekend (2009-09-27 11:28)

Michelle went back to bed yesterday afternoon and slept until 8am this morning.
She found some steroids what she had saved and took them, now this usually sends her hyper and on top of
the world.
This time they didn’t, she had some breakfast and went back to bed again.
So I spent the morning cleaning and bleaching the whole house, it’s hard work this house work stuff!
It made me realize what Michelle did before she was ill, working and looking after the house.
I selfishly felt a little sorry for myself today, thinking that I work all week and then at the weekend I’m on
my own whilst Michelle is in bed and we won’t go out anywhere.
But then it’s not me that’s got cancer, so what have I got to moan about?
I do feel a little lost today though, and I’m missing the ”What Now?” web site.
I used to be able to go on their and talk to my friends, answers people’s questions if I knew the answers and
sort out our charity calendar.
That site has helped me so much from day one.
Now that site has closed down and been replaced by another site I can’t even log on!
No contact with the calendar people, except my virtual friends, so that’s going to be difficult.
As I’m typing Michelle has just got up at 11.40am, so she’s having a cuppa and settling down to watch X
Factor, and then of course Xtra Factor and then knowing her watch it all again tomorrow, she loves that
programme as well as all the usual suspects: Britain’s Got Talent, Big Brother etc.
Weekend done!

CT Scan and another anti-climax (2009-09-30 15:05)

Monday 28TH September 2009 saw Michelle and Kay off to Leicester Royal for a CT scan.
And of course they had to call in the pub on the way back, to eat!
Michelle’s brother Tracy called in to join them.
When the waitress asked him what he wanted he replied:
”Can I have two chocolate bars, two packets of crisps and a diet coke please”
Apparently she just looked at him ”Oddly!”
She’s feeling a lot better today, and I think getting out of the house really helped.
Wednesday 30TH September 2009 was results day.
Michelle didn’t sleep well last night worrying about today.
I did half day at work and got home in time for Kay picking us up at 9.15am
46
Arrived at the hospital and had blood tests first, than a drink in the canteen.
We got back into the waiting room at 11.15am for our 11.25am appointment............
TWO HOURS later we were called in.
It wasn’t DR. Kennedy as we’d hope but one of his staff, a man that Michelle and Kay had told me about
before.
After an examination and read of the on screen notes we were told:
” The treatment is working and the DISEASE ( what a word to use ) had shrunk.
He didn’t know any sizes or what percentage, so what an anti-climax.
We now have to go back in three weeks time, when he will have proper measurements and decide the next
course of treatment.
He suggested it may be a anti clonal antibody ( Retuximab ) mixed with some chemotherapy.
Although he did say that if it was still a low grade lymphoma they may decide to leave it alone for a while.
So although it’s shrunk, which we knew two weeks a go after DR Simmonds examination, we felt deflated
and that it was all a bit ’If, when, but and maybe’
One perk of the day though was getting a couple of text messages from our virtual friends that were also at
their own hospital today to learn about their next treatment, so that was nice.
We were going through the same day and keeping in contact by text.
Three weeks now of rest, no treatment and oh yes you’ve guessed it................waiting.

1.5 October

Tired Weekend (2009-10-03 18:29)

It’s Saturday come around again.

Michelle was up all last night going to the toilet, as soon as she got back into bed she had to wee again.
She’s just had a bowl of cereal up to now and didn’t fancy anything else.
So today it’s a tired Michelle again, she says she’s fed up with being tired at the weekends and being better
in the week, when I’m at work.
Andy and Adam came today to start our patio, well Andy actually started yesterday after work doing the
edgings.
They got quiet a bit done but not as much as Andy expected, so they are back Sunday to finish it all off.
Simon and Danni’s (eldest son & girlfriend) last day at work today and they are off on their first holiday
together, two weeks in Turkey.
It would be good for Michelle to get away to the sun, but it’s getting time off work for me that’s the problem.
So it’s Michelle’s favourite of X-Factor and Vindaloo take away tonight cuddled up on the sofa.

5 Months On (2009-10-06 18:06)

I can’t believe that it’s nearly FIVE MONTHS since Michelle was diagnosed.
That time seems to have flown by, and we’re having some good days latley.
She’s smiling, laughing and eating well again so I’m so pleased.
When we went to the hospital last week, she’s put on 4 pounds since July, now that may not sound much
put at least she’s putting it on and not losing it.
A couple of times this week, whilst driving, I thought bad thoughts and was slipping towards that dark place,
but have learnt to quickly change my minds subject and not go there.
47
We’re off to see Helen Roscoe on Thursday to have our photograph’s taken for our group’s charity calendar.
It’s at a crucial stage now and hope it all comes together over the next few weeks.
Autumn is here in a big way this week and dare I say the ”C” word! Christmas is coming fast!

Calendar Photographs (2009-10-07 18:43)

I finished work on time today for a change and got home at 2.30pm.
Jane was at home doing Michelle’s hair, she looks forward to that every week now and Jane has been a star.
We then ended up going to Leicester to get some props for our charity calender photo shoot tomorrow.
We’re hoping that Helen our photographer will be able to take our photo’s , with props, to tell in picture
the 12 stories we’ve been sent in.
One story is about her surgeon wearing pink socks and red braces, how cool am I going to look? !!
And do you know how hard it is the buy red braces? !!
We had a bit of wheel chair action around the shops, and people look a little funny when Michelle stood up
out of the chair to try a new coat on!
Hey! We can laugh about it and that makes us feel good!

Our Photograph (2009-10-09 15:04)

[1]
We had our photo’s taken for our charity calendar yesterday.
We met up with Helen Roscoe at her house and drove to Victoria Park in Leicester, it was a lovely sunny
day.
Michelle had to walk a little to get to the bench where we were having the photo’s done, and she had to stop
half way because she was so tired.
Her eyes started filling up, and she said she felt she could cry because she was so frustrated that she couldn’t
walk very far.
We got on really well with Helen and had a real laugh doing it in the end.
As you’ll all see we’ve attached one of the first photo’s Helen has emailed me back, and she’s sending the
rest on CD.
I only attached one photo as it took a while to upload, mainly due to the size of my nose!
How big does it look? OMG! LOL
I’ll put some more on when they come through.
After yesterday Michelle is really tired today, it’s worn her out.
So she went back to bed in the afternoon, and I’m home now so we’re off shopping for jelly and cream!
48
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/Ss9DShLOLBI/AAAAAAAAAB8/8FQQi53J36A/s1600-h/DSC_4461bw_002.jpg

Manda and Pete (2009-10-10 15:17:40)

wow - that pic is fab!!!! Can’t wait to see the rest

Lucky? (2009-10-11 10:14)

[1]
Yesterday we got out for a few hours shopping, which was really nice, seeing as we spent the whole of last
weekend in doors.
I lost count of the times I got the wheel chair in and out of the boot, but we did laugh when Michelle was
sitting there carrying two quilts, four pillows and a pizza on her lap!
She said ”I can’t see where I am going!” and I said ”Don’t worry about that I’m steering”
It’s now Sunday morning and I’ve been reading our friends blog today, and up to now it’s made me understand
how lucky Michelle has been, as far as side affects from treatment.
Our friends are having a tough time right now and I take my hat off to how they cope.
Michelle even read their blog today, and commented about how she loses track of time and days too, and
sympathises with the tiredness.
Michelle’s next treatment will be for her Lymphoma and won’t be done using Cisplatin.
It will be Retuximab + a chemo drug, and my biggest worry is, what are the affects of that going to have
on Michelle.
I spoke briefly to her about possible hair loss but she didn’t want to think about that, as when this all started
that was her biggest worry.
Not losing her hair so far has been a big boost for her.
Andy will finally finish our patio today, and we’re off to Donnington market and then off to look for some
pots to put on the patio.
As you’ll see I’ve added another photograph taken by Helen Roscoe for our calendar.
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/StGi0KhYOcI/AAAAAAAAACE/QMEUqAdMGoM/s1600-h/DSC_4456_016.jpg

Where Has The Week Gone? (2009-10-15 19:00)

Someone said to me once that when you get older time goes faster, how right they were!
It’s Friday tomorrow, so where has this week gone again?
Basically this week for me has been, work, calendar, sleep, work, calendar.............
And for Michelle its been, TV, food, TV food................
49
Nothing major to report to be honest this week, just the usual buying plants ( which Michelle’s favourite
nursery closes down at Christmas ) feeling cold, dark and tired.
It’s the start of dark nights, cold mornings and the thought of Christmas looming.
and now I’m starting to sound sorry for myself!
All in all, life is good right now to be honest, can’t complain.
Took Matt for a meeting about his DJ’ing tonight as a new club has opened and they’ve been asking him to
DJ for three months now but he’s always turned them down.
As they are offering him £400 to DJ for 2 hours he’s took them up on the offer, his first set is before Utah
Saints.
Michelle is SO proud of her two boys, Matt & Simon and they look after her so I can’t complain.
They work hard and are good lads at heart, even if we don’t see eye to eye sometimes but guess that’s what
being a parent is all about.
Off to sort out some food now, and early to bed for 4am wake up call.

Playing Catch Up (2009-10-20 17:07)

And that week went where? Isn’t that a common question these day?
Saturday: Shopping for external lights, curry, bed.
Sunday: Sunday lunch with Tracy & Kay, Shaun & Viv and Sheila.
Monday : Work and fitting new external lights.
Tuesday today, now that was easy wasn’t it!
It’s tomorrow that counts now though, results day with lymphoma consultant, Michelle hopes it DR Kennedy
this time and not one of his team.
She’ll find out this time exactly( with measurements ) how things have gone so far and what treatment will
be next.
So no sleep tonight for either of us, for some reason this one scares me the most.
Unusually Michelle hasn’t been herself for the last couple of days, her stomach side where her lymphoma is
has been hurting and she had to take anti sickness tablets, which she hasn’t had to do for a while now.
It all seems to be work, rest and no play right now and what I’d do for a week off.
I’ve got four days to have before Christmas, but will wait to see tomorrow’s results before I book anything.

Manda and Pete (2009-10-20 20:43:21)

Fingers crossed. Good Luck! x

Back To Square One (2009-10-22 17:10)

Well what a day yesterday turned out to be, a true roller coaster day.
I was going to hospital originally because of work commitments, but finished early and went with Michelle
& Kay.
We were seen by the lymphoma doctor, actually professor, his name was professor Dyer, a lovely man and
down to earth yet caring.
He told us about Michelle’s next treatment stage of treatment, and that came as a big shock.
From next Wednesday she’s starting chemotherapy called R-CHOP and these are the initial of the five
combined drugs that she’ll be taking.
And it’s on a Wednesday every three weeks for 6 to 8 cycles, so is going to take about 6 months to complete.
The biggest shock and one that hurt Michelle the most is that after 10 days of starting treatment she will
50
lose all of her hair, she spent most of yesterday in tears.
Right now we both feel like we’re back to square one and we’ve got to start all over again, and this is just
the lymphoma and doesn’t include the cervical.
In the cold light of day, this morning it didn’t feel much better.
I’m trying to stay positive for Michelle, but even I had to walk out of the hospital for 5 minute’s as I got
upset.
Just reading possible side effects and what will definitely happen is a shock.
Today Kay has made an appointment at two places to look at wigs next Thursday, and some head wear for
around the house.
It’s just another hill we’ll have to climb, and know it will be a bigger one than the last time and take a little
longer.

Reality Bite (2009-10-23 16:29)

It’s now two days since the news of Michelle’s next treatment.
Reflecting back on the last 6 months we both agreed that up to now we have got a away lightly.
But now the reality that Michelle has two serious cancer’s has dawned on us.
Sometimes, especially the good days, it makes you think if this is all real or a dream.
Then when you have a day like Wednesday it makes you understand how serious it all is.
But having said that we won’t let it beat us, and Michelle’s attitude is a classic example of why.
Every year she loves setting up our Christmas tree and her mum’s too.
After coming off the phone to her mum, she turned and said to me:
” I’m still going to do ours and mum’s tree this year you know, it’s not going to spoil our Christmas ”
I wondered if it was me and inside my body if I’d be the same? I am so proud of her and love her to bits.
I’ll always remember what Andy & Emma told us some 6 months back, that’s it’s simple shock and it will
get better.......wise words.
And our other virtual friends who have been stars, are there again to help us out with our calendar..........you
know who you are and you know how much it both means to us.
And to all four of you............when that meal comes we’ll have a fantastic time.
THANK YOU.

Laugh & Not Cry (2009-10-25 08:50)

Yesterday we went out and made the most of the day, although raining it didn’t spoil it.
Ikea on a Saturday in a wheel chair wasn’t the best start to the day I guess!
So off to Loughborough shopping, I’m sure Michelle is getting heavier to push or it might of been all the
shopping bags on the handles.
Most of the day we were laughing and thinking about Christmas, but then sometimes she’d go quiet and I
knew she was thinking about her hair.
It’s now Sunday morning and up early as usual because I can’t sleep.
Michelle is fast asleep snoring away.
We were planning on going to Donnington market this morning, but just looked out of the window and it’s
started raining.
NO! I can’t believe it, I’ve started talking about the weather.
And with that it’s time to go.............

51
Nice Chat (2009-10-26 18:15)

Monday morning blues for me again and the start of another week.
Normal work day and normal TV and cake day for Michelle.
Although in the end it didn’t turn out to be a normal day for us either after all.
After texting Andy, my great friend from ”What Now?” who has helped me from day one, we swapped home
numbers.
As Emma had been through the losing her hair part of this ride, Michelle was interested how things would
pan out for her.
So Michelle called Emma today and they had a good chat about wigs, food and our candles.
Afterwards Michelle felt much better, talking to someone that had been through the journey she was about
to start.
I also had a chat with Emma, mainly about food!
And Michelle and I said how friendly and lovely she was.....hope your reading this!
I also read up on our other great mutual friends and thought about them today, as it was their 8TH and
hopefully final cycle.
And she still had time to email about our calendar.....where do your hours in the day come from?
Our love goes out to you all.
Patrick & Michelle.

Looking Like Myra Hindley! (2009-10-27 19:11)

Michelle went with Kay to Nottingham today to try on some wigs.

I got a text message to say that they were no good, one made her look like Tina Turner and the other one
like Myra Hindley!
So they went for food! Surprise surprise!
After work I started on the mass bleaching and cleaning of the house, started with the fridge and food
cupboard and do the rest after work tomorrow.
I did this whilst Jayne was doing Michelle’s hair for the last time.
Just finished looking on EBay for bandannas, and bought one that she liked, also one of my customers Steve
bought Michelle a scarf/bandanna in cream, which was a lovely thought, and Michelle loved it.
Matt and his girlfriend Millie made us SpagBol, which was lovely and saved me from venturing near the
cooker for a change.
Doubt either of us will sleep well tonight, just want it get it started and over now.

Long Week (2009-10-30 17:43)

Hi Everyone,
Apologises for not updating after Wednesday hospital visit, but there are not enough hours in the day again.
Wednesday 28TH October 2009
This was the first day of Michelle’s new treatment for her lymphoma, called R-CHOP.
Kay picked Michelle up at 7am to get there for 8am.
I had the first text message around 8.30am to say treatment had started and all was going well.
But then about an hour later Kay text to say they had stopped treatment because Michelle’s face had swelled
up and gone bright red.
My next text message was to say that treatment had started again, they had a cake and Michelle was asleep.
52
It made me wish I could have gone now, but because of work I couldn’t.
She got home around 3pm and was tired.
Michelle looked better than I thought and ate tea as normal but went to bed early after a long day.
For Michelle and Kay the rest of the week was spent looking for a wig.
Shop one made her look like Tina Turner, and Myra Hindley.
Shop two were just grey and old lady like, and one was a Caribbean wig.
Shop three was the hospital and the woman’s attitude just put them off full stop.
So now Friday is here again, and Breast Cancer awareness day at work today.
So I bought Michelle a tee shirt and a badge for me.
Over the weekend Michelle wants to start Christmas shopping, so we’ll see how she feels in the morning.
Steroids are doing a great job as normal, and lets see how long the £16 worth of frozen cakes lasts Michelle!
Michelle spoke to her Aunt Beat in Wales for ages last night and she offered to buy her a wig, as has her
brothers.
And as I’m writing this she is talking to her Aunt Christine & Uncle Des from Cambridge.
Read the local paper today and told Michelle who is turning on our town’s Christmas
lights..............XFaxtor’s........Same Difference!

1.6 November

Wheel chair in.......Wheel chair out (2009-11-02 15:52)

I’ve lost count over the weekend how many times I’ve had the wheel chair in and out of the car.
Michelle and the start of Christmas shopping......in a chair.... what a combination!
We even tried one of those trolleys that you attach to the chair in Morrison’s and the combined length is
like driving my lorry!
So the weekend went a bit like this:
Saturday we went into Leicester and the massive Shires shopping centre, even managed to run over the little
kids foot! it’s his own fault as he ran out in front of the wheel chair without looking!
Then the bit Michelle loves the most and that’s wrapping the presents, she must of been in the bedroom for
a good couple of hours.
Sunday saw us shopping again, is there a theme going on here?
Michelle said that she wants to get it all sorted whilst she still feeling OK.
And it was the last day of steroids today, so expecting a tired Michelle from now on.
Since the new treatment has started she can’t sleep at night, but the other lymphoma patients at the hospital
have said the same.
Also being cold in the day and sweating at night, so at least we know it’s normal
It’s now Monday and I’ve finished work and Michelle’s just got in from.........you guessed it SHOPPING.
She’s been out with Kay to Derby and found herself a lovely wig, one a little darker than her hair now, but
still highlighted and in a bob, so she’s well pleased.
She’s got it on a foam head in the bedroom, but the head looks like a relative of Michelle’s and can’t mention
any names!
Just got to make sure we keep it away from the dogs now, or it will be like a scene from ”Only Fools &
Horses” when Rodney rips his false pony tail off and pretends it’s a rat.
So that’s where we are up to now.
Michelle’s just done some ironing and I think she wants to go out now, I’m tired but still love to take her
out whilst she’s good like this.

53
Mid Week Nightmare (2009-11-04 18:08)

I got stuck out yesterday after the M1 was closed so had a pig of a day.
Jayne came around to see Michelle, and she took the opportunity to show off her wig although it did upset
her a little again.
But I think her fish, chips, peas, curry sauce + jelly and cream cheered her up a bit!
Michelle’s lymphoma has been hurting the side of her stomach today, so lets hope that it’s shrinking the
mass.
As Kay said, before her pain was the cervical one after her radiotherapy and now that’s finished she’s
concentrating more on the lymphoma pain.
Now the washing machine has broken!
So after work today I picked the washing up from home, off to launderette banged it in the machine and
went food shopping, on the way back picked the washing up....job done!
the man is coming out to mend it Thursday, no idea what time, just Thursday.
We’re hoping it’s not going to take 28 days to get the parts this time, like it did last time.
Having things to look forward to is always good for Michelle and she plans what she wants to do at the
weekend and that gives her a boost.
Our calendar effort is so nearly ready to go to the printers now, and we’re both so excited to actually see it
and sell it now.
We have so many people to thank for thier efforts, but especially to Manda, Grant, Claire & Jane who have
all been fantstic.

Kay away and my turn (2009-11-06 18:17)

Friday is upon us again along with the wind and rain.

Washing machine sorted, loose wire!
Kay called me today to say that she won’t be able to take Michelle to chemo on November 18TH as they
are off to Spain for a couple of days, so my turn to step in.
She said I’ve got to remember to rub her arm and she’ll fall asleep whilst laying on the bed, but Michelle
says I’m too rough and can’t do it like Kay, how rude!
Got home and as soon as I walked in Michelle was ready to go into town, to pick a few bits up, and with
experience I know it will never be ” a few bits” it always mean bags hanging off the wheel chair.
Whilst in town she saw Claire, her hairdresser and they were talking wigs and girls stuff.
Linda, a nurse from the Oncology department phoned to see how Michelle was doing, and Michelle badgered
her into saying that she could eat cream cakes after all, but she wouldn’t budge on the takeaways.
So now it’s Friday night tv for us and a beer.

Like the good old days (2009-11-07 17:16)

We’ve had such a good day today, and if it wasn’t for the wheel chair I don’t think you’d of know anything
was wrong with Michelle.
She moaned about spending money, I moaned about spending money and in the end we just laughed about
it in the car on the way home, just like the good old days.
After getting out of the car, into the wheel chair it was and off we went, across the road and saw the first
person we knew ” What have you been up to?” they asked.
The shock on their face when Michelle told them made them look like they wish they’d never asked.
54
So off we went again, getting about 20 feet before we came across another friend and again came, ” What
have you been doing Michelle” and the same look and answer followed.
Sometimes we can go out and see no one, but not today.
Michelle wanted a real Christmas tree for outside this year, so off to the nursery and we got a small one with
roots and she was so pleased, and said to me that we can use this every year.
I then thought to myself that I hope she will be with me every year, and knew that she is so determined to
beat this thing.
So instead of going to the pub and maybe onto an all night club, we thought we’d stay in for a change!!
X-Factor is Saturday and Michelle is happy, what more could I ask for?

Another day, another dollar (2009-11-09 16:18)

Not much to write about for yesterday, we didn’t go anywhere.

Michelle’s lymphoma at the side of her stomach is giving her grief just lately, so she took herself off to bed
for a couple of hours.
Today for me has been work and emailing / phoning about our calendar, it’s gone to the printers and he’s
ordered the paper to start.
Only one problem, and that is that he doesn’t do finishing and the company he uses wants £500, so left that
with Claire@Kavanagh.
As I’m typing this Michelle is in the bedroom doing what she loves.....wrapping Christmas presents.
She loves this time of year and Christmas Eve is and always has been her favourite day.
Next hospital appointment is on Thursday with her cervical consultant DR. Simmonds to see how all the
treatment went.....fingers crossed.

The Night Before Results (2009-11-11 16:19)

It’s mid week and we both know we won’t sleep well tonight as it’s the night before results day.
It’s off to see Michelle’s cervical consultant tomorrow afternoon to check on the results of all her cervical
treatment.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but does each results day seems more frightening?
It’s been a quiet day at work today, and Michelle’s looking tired today.
She’s still having trouble sleeping, with being so hot at night and also the R-CHOP treatment doesn’t help
you sleep well either.
Nightmare calendar day today, but after many emails and phone calls the paper has been ordered and will
be with the printer Thursday.
Then on to the finishers and ready for Tuesday ( So many fingers crossed )
Just bought some ingredients to make some cakes and biscuits and then realised I’ve thrown the scales out!
DOH!

Good & Bad (2009-11-14 09:43)

I hate leaving the blog to catch up on but sometimes I can’t find enough hours in the day,
Wednesday 11TH November 2009
This was cervical results day, and Kay couldn’t come as her son was ill and didn’t want to pass anything on
55
to Michelle.
So off we trot and join the hospital car park queue at 2PM, at 2.35PM we finally park and get in the hospital.
We saw Michelle’s friend that she made whilst having chemo / radio, Silvia.
She was their for her results and the great news is that she is now in remission.
We got called in and it wasn’t DR. Symmonds, it was his registrar.
She was nice and examined Michelle and was very pleased with her, she said she looked well and her cervical
cancer had responded well to treatment and it had shrunk considerably.
We never seem to get any measurements, maybe it’s because we don’t ask.
They don’t want to see her again for another two months now.
They want to concentrate on treating her lymphoma for now.
I had a big argument with my mum last week, a silly argument over not being able to take her out the same
time as Michelle, as she uses a wheel chair too.
It’s upset Michelle as she feels guilty but I think my mum is being selfish and it’s annoying.
It’s just been one of those weeks, Holly our youngest Shih-Tzu had to go to the vets twice as she’s been
scratched by the cat and was also allergic to one of the plants in the garden.
Then one of Michelle’s rabbits died on Friday 13TH.
Our house sounds like a zoo doesn’t it? Michelle has always had rabbits since being young.
Matt & Simon have had BIG plans this week!
Simon & Danni bought themselves a new bed, measured it wrong and now have a king size bed with a double
mattress.
There big plan is for Danni to change jobs and save up for a house.
Matt & Milli are going to decorate their bedroom this weekend, so we’re off out and will come back to the
mess later!
Then although Matt is being made redundant again for the second time in a year, he wants to open a savings
account to save for a house.
All we can do is guide them and let them make their own mistakes, it’s the only way to learn.
And so it’s the weekend and I’m not going to tell you what we’re going to do today, if your a regular reader
you’ll of already guessed!

Manda and Pete (2009-11-14 10:44:12)

shopping???

Making cakes and staying in. (2009-11-15 13:11)

Quiet Sunday for a change.

We’re staying in today and making cakes, well I say WE it’s actually ME!
I’ve made some choc chips muffins and choc chip biscuits, whilst Michelle sat watching TV and kept asking
if she could lick the bowel out( what a childhood memory )
I had one of those horrible dreams last night, the sort that when you wake up your so glad it wasn’t true.
I do have some weird dreams sometimes, like last week I dreamt I murdered someone with a pork pie and
thought I’d got away with it, until the police knocked on the door and I woke up sweating!
When we went shopping yesterday we were in Leicester and I was wheeling Michelle to Curry’s and I said to
her ” Do you remember this time last Christmas when you walked here when we came looking for a laptop
for Matt? ”
And Michelle said ” I know, you never know what’s going to happen from year to year do you?”
I for one, certainly didn’t think that I’d being sitting here, a few weeks before Christmas, writing about my
wife having cancer.
Having said that from May until now has flown by, yet at the start everything seemed to be in slow motion.
56
We were also looking at some photos I took of Michelle in hospital in May, and she and I were shocked to
see how poorly and thin she looked back in May and how well she looks now.
I am so proud of what she has been through and love her to bits.

Welcome to cycle 2 (2009-11-19 17:16)

WEDNESDAY 18TH NOVEMBER 2009

This day saw Michelle and I off to Leicester Royal for cycle No.2 of R-CHOP.
And what a day it turned out to be!
We set out at 9.00am for our 10.15am appointment.
When we arrived we went straight up to the ward as normal, the nurse came the day before to take bloods.
We were told that things had changed and we now needed to see the doctor down stairs in the clinic as He
wasn’t now coming on to the ward like before.
So off we went down stairs and waited for THREE HOURS to see the doctor for 5 mins to say that bloods
were OK for chemo.
Now back up stairs and no free beds, so Michelle had to sit up and try and go to sleep whilst having chemo.
Then at 5.15am after the first lot of chemo, we were told our next chemo drugs hadn’t come up and could
we come back in the morning!
Ermmm my answer to put it politely was NO!
We finally got home at 7.15pm and not happy bunnies, I was so tired and hadn’t had any treatment so you
can imagine how Michelle felt.
So it was something to eat and off to bed for me and Michelle had a bath.
THURSDAY 19TH NOVEMBER
As soon as Michelle woke up today she felt sick.
I phoned her from work and she didn’t answer so I knew things weren’t right.
When I did get through she sounded rubbish and hd to end the call to be sick.
I got home from work, bleached and cleaned the house and got her some soup.
She said that she didn’t want to spend all the time in bed, but she gave in after taking some anti-sickness
tablets.
Welcome to our world of cycle number two!
We got some great advise from our friends about anti-sickness tablets and what to expect from now on in.
This is not how we imagined our build up to Christmas 20009 to be, but we’ll both get on with it now and
do our best to keep a positive attitude.

What the difference a day makes (2009-11-20 19:08)

I phoned Michelle today whilst out driving, like I do every day.

I expected that soft voice on the phone saying she felt rough and had been feeling sick all day.
But not Michelle, oh no!
No anti-sickness tablets today and she said she felt much better than yesterday.
I asked her if she just wanted tomato soup again, as she was off her food yesterday.
To which she replied ” I fancy a full fry up for my tea!”
Michelle was weighed at hospital yesterday, and she has put on 11 pounds in one month!
OMG! One day of feeling rough and got back from work and she’s already planned where we are going
shopping on Saturday, you’ve got to love her haven’t you? !!
It’s her birthday next weekend, and also the weekend when she starts ferreting for the Christmas decorations.
57
So she has more to look forward to and that always keeps her going.
I find that I don’t think of the dark places as much now, but do still know that this is all so real, and hope
the build up to Christmas next year is not like this one.
This roller coaster keeps us on our toes and maybe one day it’ll let us off........

Crying with laughter (2009-11-21 19:12)

We went out today and had such a laugh!

It started off around our local town Coalville then we made our way into Leicester.
Asda and a wheel chair 5 weeks before Christmas is no fun, bloody ignorant people that leave trolly’s in the
middle of the isle and won’t move....ooooo frustration!
So we got what we needed and headed home, and that’s where the confessions started!
It turns out that last night I was snoring louder than normal, so after an hour of trying to wake me, Michelle
said that she kicked me in the leg and I shut up.
But then she started to tell me how, in the past she’d twisted my ears and stuff to wake me, she was crying
with laughter and that started me off.
We were like teenagers and had such a laugh it took away any thoughts of illness or feeling sorry.
This is a good day and know when we read this back in time we’ll both know we did the best in life today that
we could, and as I’m typing this Michelle has asked me to cut a pig’s ear in half for the dog’s to share......is
our life normal?

Just How It Is (2009-11-22 14:19)

Sunday!
As a kid I always hated Sunday’s, it was Songs Of Praise, bath and ready for school the next day!
I’ve been reading back on our blog and it’s sometimes comes across as we are living the perfect life, but we’re
not.
I just write it how it is, and just lately we are having fun apart from the odd bad day.
We weren’t going out today, but Michelle decided that she wanted to do MORE SHOPPING!
She says it cheers her up, as I think I’ve wrote about before, and to be honest if she’s happy shopping I’ll
take her out all day.
She was so proud of herself today, she needed to go into a shop on her own to buy Christmas presents ( I
wonder who for........LOL! )
And she walked around on her own, it was only a small shop and she was so tired after but she did it.
That may sound a bit crazy, my wife walking around on her own?
But to us it’s an achievement and only people like our friends will understand that.
She’s now in the bedroom wrapping the top secret presents! And I can’t even walk up stairs without her
knowing.
She loves Christmas and the thought of it has really raised her spirits, she loves things to look forward to.
Enough of my ramblings for now............

Ewwww I can’t eat that (2009-11-24 18:55)

Over the last few weeks Michelle’s taste bubs have changed so much, and I know that our friends reading
this will recognise the signs.
58
The things she used to love like Mc Donalds, pringles, chocolate etc she can’t stand now and make her feel
sick.
Yet the things she used to hate like chilli, fry ups etc she loves now.
No tingling in the fingers up to now, so we have been very lucky so far.
I’m not happy at work, as I haven’t had a week off since May and now can’t get in my 4 days holiday left in
one week.
Some people had 2 weeks off and a holiday and I can’t even get 4 days off.
And then all the holidays for next year already gone, but is that all I’ve got to worry about!
Anyway nearly end of November and it’s Michelle’s birthday on the 29th ( Sunday )
and she’s not excited at all!

It’s out of the box! (2009-11-25 16:52)

I spat my dummy at work today after looking at the holiday book and realizing the week I want off is the
week of cycle 3, and whatever happened I was going to be with my wife.
So I offered to take it as unpaid leave and have now bent the rules for me.
I collected our calendar posters today and posted some on to friends, and then saw that the poster included
the wrong website, not a lot I can do now though.
Every year Michelle loves putting our Christmas tree up, and always looks forward to it.
So no surprise when I got back from work and she asked if I could get the tree out of the loft.
I said it was a bit early as she usually does it the weekend after her birthday.
She said ” But I only want to straighten the branch’s out ready for the weekend”
Who was she kidding!
As I’m typing she’s straightened the branch’s and now getting the lights out.
” I’m only making sure they work” is the answer I got!
She’s happy and after a year we’ve had I’m just happy that she is here, happy and looking forward to the
future.
Now the lights are tangled (aren’t they always )and she’s getting wound up..................she’s shouting me!

Catching up with her (2009-11-26 17:53)

I think that sorting the tree and getting excited about Christmas is catching up with Michelle now.
She said that last week she felt better after chemo than this week.
I always worry about her, and every little pain or problem seems to be 100 % worse than normal.
She’s tired and going to the toilet a lot.
One day is never the same as the last in this cancer game, you never know where you stand.
And maybe tomorrow will be different, but we’ll have to WAIT and see.....wait....wait....

Manda and Pete (2009-11-26 21:18:25)

this WAIT WAIT WAIT is really naff aint it! Maybe one day we will learn to appreciate and like/live with wait?

Feeling ................. (2009-11-28 17:20)

Michelle is still feeling tired and ”yucky” as she says.

Her appetite is still off and not fancying any thing to eat.
59
It’s her birthday tomorrow on 29TH November, and it’s funny that people who never usually phone or send
cards have this year.
And today on 28TH November 2009 I have finally taken delivery of our Macmillan charity calendar.
It seems like ages ago since we started it all, and the last few things to sort out have dragged on longer than
we thought it would.
I had to work today which is very rare on a Saturday, went to Bradford at 5am and got home at 11am, so
we’re both tired and missed Same Difference and Fireman Sam turning on our Christmas lights but saw the
fireworks from our house.
One week and one day to work and then I’m off for 4 days!!!

Michelle’s Birthday (2009-11-29 18:55)

Today is Michelle’s 48Th birthday.

We’ve had a great day today, Matt and Simon left their mum’s presents as Simon was at work and Matt
was clubbing in Birmingham all night.
Kay,Viv, her brother Shaun and her mum Sheila all came over the house today and you’ll all be pleased to
hear that she did have cake in the end!
Michelle’s biggest surprise today was from our friends that we’ve made on the cancer support site.
She had a card through the post from Manda and Pete, and a happy birthday text/song from Andy and
Emma.
We didn’t even know these people a few months a go but now it feels like we’ve know them a life time and
both think the world of them all.
She has had a good day today and now looking forward to Christmas.

1.7 December

Quiet Michelle (2009-12-01 18:16)

I phoned Michelle from work as I do every day and she seemed fine, Jane was coming to do her hair so she
was looking forward to that.
It was the dreaded Tuesday food shopping for me, so got in around 5.30pm after all that.
Michelle was helping me put the shopping away and was really quiet,
I asked her if she was OK and she told me about a letter she’d had from work.
It was to tell her that her weeks of statutory sick pay were up...... TOMORROW!
So she was worrying about money, which she has never really done before.
She said that when she worries now it seems twice as bad because she’s ill.
I tried to calm her fears with telling her about what information I’d learnt about ESA at the weekend from
our friends.
To try and help I’ve also called Macmillan for financial advise and they are calling back within 48 hours.
The last thing she wants right now is to worry about anything, and then I worry about her, what a vicious
circle.

60
Our Calendar (2009-12-02 18:00)

Please buy our calendar but most of all email / text and tell your friends about our website :
www.itsjustasixletterword.co.uk

Lump in my throat (2009-12-03 15:45)

Reading back my last few posts that we are worrying about money, not cancer, not treatment but bloody
money.
Then we get the news today from our friends about their oncology check up and it wasn’t good news at all,
I had a lump in my throat when I read their blog.
None of us cancer folk seem to have any luck, but right now Michelle and I feel that we have had better luck
than others, don’t really know what I’m saying just rambling on.
One week or day is never the same and none of us know what is going to happen around the corner, and
that’s why we’ve got to live life the way we want and not what cancer wants.
I know it’s easier said than done some times, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
We know our friends will be reading this so we just want to say;
”We’re here for you both through thick and thin, up and down that roller coaster as you both have been for
Michelle and I.
We’ll be here.....................”

Tired and no sleep (2009-12-04 19:13)

Michelle looked really tired today, she can’t sleep at night because of lymphoma sweats and she can’t sleep
in the day either.
Also she hasn’t been getting out in the day, so it’s wake up,breakfast, TV, lunch, TV and then I’m home.
When I got home we went to Morrison’s, and when we came out and headed back to the car we were handed
a leaflet by a Filipino lady from the local nursing home.
I said to Michelle ”She thought that’s where your ready for!” and we laughed about it.
Michelle is now trying some Corkey’s vodka drink,white chocolate and cream.
She’s now yawning and said her head is spinning, as she doesn’t really drink.
I phoned GP today and as Michelle has a low immune system because of chemotherapy, I have to have the
flu jab and swine flu jab on Monday.
Four hours at work in the morning for Manual Handling course, fours hours of learning how to lift a box.
Then when I get home Michelle has a list of what we are going to do tomorrow, and that includes putting
up our calendar posters in local shops and waiting for our calendars to arrive.

Michelle’s Mum (2009-12-05 15:30)

I came home from work around 10am this morning to find Michelle on the phone to her brother, and she
was in tears.
After a while she came off the phone and started to tell me all that had happened.
Michelle’s mum Sheila was never still, always working full time, helping out with the blind group, wine circle
etc.
61
Then about 3 years a go she has a very small fall in the garden and that’s when it all started,
she was diagnosed with psychotic depression and the onset of Alzheimer’s.
Well yesterday afternoon Michelle’s brother went to see her, and not to be too graphic, but found her walking
round and round in circles in the living room in let’s say a messy state.
The doctor was called and the family were advised to put her into a nursing home for respite.
So Shaun was phoning to tell her the news, he was upset leaving his mum there and she was crying because
she didn’t want to stay there, a heartbreaking situation.
Michelle and I had a chat and agreed that you would never want to see any parent in a nursing home, but
right now it’s the best place for her as she can’t be left alone.
She’s obviously upset but has agreed it’s the best thing for the short term.
The outlook is that maybe it is because she’s been missing her tablets and her mental health doctor is going
to assess her on Tuesday,no one can see her until then.
So after a few tears and a chat we headed out to town, and I covered the local shops with our calendar
posters.
Also saw some old friends Rosamund and David and we’re off to visit them hopefully next week when I’m
off work.
Nipped in to see my Uncle Harry and had a good catch up with him, then back home to put Michelle’s
outside Christmas tree and lights up.
Sometimes Michelle is very good at hiding her feeling and hasn’t mentioned her mum since this morning, so
I’ll let her deal with it her way and be here for her when she needs my support.

Look At His Beard (2009-12-06 14:35)

It was a typical lazy Sunday morning slouching about and doing nothing until mid day.
Then off we went for a drive and of course some shops,and off to see the lady at Michelle’s favourite nursery,
she wanted to see her as she’s closing down at Christmas, and I managed to sell her a calendar!
On the way back from there we passed a pub with some mods outside with their Vespa’s.
Michelle turned to me and said ” Look at that man’s beard”
I looked and laughed at her and said ” Do you mean the fox’s tail on the end of that pole on the back of his
bike?”
He was stood next to it and she thought it was his beard!
We had a chat about Michelle’s mum Sheila again today, and both agreed that she is safer where she is and
maybe will enjoy Christmas more being there.
That may sound cruel but part of her illness is to go to bed a lot, and it’s their way of coping with Psychotic
depression,so she sleeps all day and is up all night.
One more day at work on Monday and then four days off, come on!
Although not looking forward to these flu jabs, what have I got to worry about, Michelle has cycle three on
Wednesday.
Writing some Christmas cards this afternoon and doing nothing.

In The Newspaper (2009-12-08 17:45)

Did I mention that I’d got four days off work? LOL
We didn’t get up until 8am, and only had to then because the nurse was coming to the house to take pre
chemo blood tests for tomorrow.
Michelle’s GP has been fantastic and even sends a nurse to the house so she doesn’t have to go to the surgery.
62
Then we had to make ourselves beautiful for the Leicester Mercury coming to take our photo’s for publicity
for the calendar, some of us took longer than others!
He arrived at 12.15pm and took us out in to the garden for photo’s of us holding the calendar, so should be
in the paper this Friday.
A few shots that lasted about 15 minutes and he was off.
So off food shopping for me whilst Michelle waited in for Jayne coming around to do her hair, still all in one
piece by the way, no thinning or hair loss up to now.
Shaun phoned up about their mum today, and he said she was different again.
And she’s being assessed by the mental health team today, so we’ll know more after the results.
But he’s kicking up a fuss why the carers, which she pays for, didn’t give her the tablets she was supposed
to have and she was allowed to hide them.
Michelle is on the Corkey’s white chocolate and cream drink again right now, ready for the chilli I’ve made
for tea.

Chemo, puppy and one dead rabbit! (2009-12-10 17:54)

[1]
Well where do we start, as usual it’s a catch up time.
Wednesday 9TH December 2009 saw Michelle’s 3RD cycle of R-CHOP.
Kay took her, and in usual Kay style there was no car park queue,
got straight into see DR.Kennedy and started chemo on time.
DR. Kennedy was very pleased with Michelle, apparently last time her blood count was low but not low
enough so she couldn’t have chemo.
This time her bloods very very good and he was pleased.
Turns out that her first two cycles included a half dose of Doxorubicin hydrochloride, so this time he was
going to start the full dose of that part of the R-CHOP.
Kay kept texting me all day,as she usually does.
Michelle went cold and felt sick half way through, and got home around 4pm.
She looked really tired, and she’d asked for liver & onions with mash for her tea, so I’d got that sorted.
Earlier in the day I’d been searching for Michelle’s Christmas present.
She’s always wanted a Pug, and we were intending getting one when Michelle had finished treatment.
63
But life is too short for waiting, and we’ve both decided that we’re living day to day and don’t want to come
to the end of our life and say what if we’d.......
I went over to Derby after seeing a pug in the newspaper, paid for the little girl in the photo and told them
I’d collect it Christmas eve.
Later on in the evening Michelle was upset after our eldest Simon said that him and his girlfriend Danni
were moving out this Saturday to go and live with Danni’s mum due to an argument that Danni refuses to
have the flu jabs as it will give her a panic attack, don’t start me off on the selfish argument or I’ll be here
all night!
So Michelle being upset I told her about the puppy I had bought her, and to say she smiled was an under-
statement.
”Phone the man now and she if we can pick it up tomorrow” she asked.
It’s now Thursday 10TH December 2009 and we went to set out to pick our puppy up.
But not before Michelle had taken half her daily tablets, followed by rushing to the toilet to be sick.
She’d been feeling sick all night, so when she was actually sick in the morning she felt a lot better.
Just before setting out Michelle went down the garden to feed her rabbit, the other one had died a few weeks
a go.
She came back crying and her other rabbit was dead in the bottom of the cage.
Michelle was in bits, and I hugged her whilst she cried.
”Why does it always happen to us, what have we done wrong?” she asked, but I didn’t have any answers,
just hugs.
So then off we set to Derby, and into the house where the man passed Michelle her new puppy that she’s
named Lucy.
She’s so tiny, the runt of the litter, but perfect in every way and Michelle was over the moon so I was happy.
Back home Michael was there to groom our other dogs, Shih-Tzu’s Holly, Coco and Sooty.
We should open our house up and call it Whitwick Zoo!
Michelle’s brother Tracy and his wife Kay and their children came to visit and fell in love with Lucy straight
away.
It’s been a long day today, and a mixture of emotions yet all in all a fairly Good day.
1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/SyE_Aimx6yI/AAAAAAAAACM/2BFwoFzhI8g/s1600-h/013.JPG

Shop Lifter! (2009-12-11 17:36)

I think we’ve made the most of my four days off work, where did they go?
This morning we went out to buy Michelle’s new puppy a Santa sock and toys for Christmas, I didn’t want
to go really, I just wanted to do MAN stuff not shopping for toys! LOL but went anyway ( think I got away
with that one? LOL )
But it’s never just one shop with Michelle, and this time of year it’s a nightmare in the wheel chair, all things
sticking out the aisles.
That’s when Michelle must of done her Ronnie Biggs move!
When we got back to the car, there were some Christmas tree decorations hanging off the wheel chair!!! Stop
Thief!
I told her to go back to the shop and then she’d get locked up for 5 to 10!
She said ” Sod that it’s cold and I’m hungry”
After that my day was filled with phone calls, emails & texts about the calendar.
Basically Central News are coming to the house Monday to interview us both about the calendar, and it’s
also in two local newspapers today.
Another day gone, and now time for a beer for me, some Corkey’s drink for Michelle and a Indian takeaway.
* UPDATE **
64
Just heard that our friend, from the Macmillan site and also work at the PR company we use for the calendar,
her mum passed away this afternoon.
I’m personally gutted, as Claire has become a great friend over the last few months.
Lost for words now.......

Tears for Simon (2009-12-12 16:48)

Today started out a lazy day, we were going to chill out, no shopping.
It was quiet until lunch time then my phone started to ring with people saying they’d seen our story about
the calendar in The Leicester Mercury.
Then Michelle’s friend and our old neighbour, who came to visit on Friday,came to collect 50 calendars to
try and sell.
I’ll soon have to sort out all the hand sales and hand it in.
Today 12TH December 2009 saw our son Simon and his girlfriend Danni move out.
He’s 23 now, so he’s off now to make his own mistakes and learn from them.
It upset Michelle and she cried, buy I told her that he’ll be back before long, he knows where he’s well off.
At the same time, Matt’s girlfriend Millie, also moved out and went to live with her friend at work in a
rented house.
I bet our house sounds like a mad house with everyone in and out and all the animals!
But Michelle & I are laid back and everyone likes being here, until today!
That just leaves Matt now, and he’s never in anyway and when he is, you just hear his DJ decks blasting
away......do I sound old?
So now everyone has gone and my phone’s stopped ringing, we’re going to relax and have a quiet night
with......of course....X-Factor.

TV Fame !! (2009-12-14 16:28)

[1]
My work , as I’ve said before , have been fantastic.
65
I went in from 5am to 9am and got paid for a full day.
It was then TV time!
We kept looking out of the window for all the TV crew vans turning up with big dish’s on top and men
walking in with microphones.
But at 10.30am an old battered purple Astra pulled onto the drive, and there was a knock at the door.
It was the ONE man from BBC Midlands Today with his tripod and bag!
” I’ve just kicked my exhaust and think it’s fell off” he expressed as Michelle answered the door!
He was a lovely man though, and started by interviewing Michelle on her own.
Half way through she started to cry as she relived what had gone on over the last months.
Now it was my turn, he turned the camera on and here we go........
Then Michelle had a coughing fit ended up being sick in the toilet!
Even Michelle’s new puppy Lucy made a guest star appearance, posing for the camera.
Finally we had to ACT in the kitchen, how hard is it to make a cup of tea whilst the camera is on you?
We had to chat about day to day things whilst I put the coffee and sugar in the cups, Michelle put the milk
in and she only had to put the water in the cup then.
”oooo the kettle is empty, I’ll have to fill it up” she spurted out!
It was like something from Phoenix Nights lol
In the end I did manage to sell the reporter calendar!
After he’d gone, we went into town and deposited £120 for the calendar funds, and then sent it to the Just
Giving site.
Who’d of thought, this time last year, that we’d have a day like today?
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/SyZsNHiZPlI/AAAAAAAAACU/2SOW4PQjDNg/s1600-h/007.JPG

Return Of Pain (2009-12-16 17:54)

Not much to report lately, but back today with an update.

Michelle has been sleeping a lot better, and night time sweats have slowed down.
But today she was complaining of shooting pains in her womb.
She said that she’d had them before, and also her friend Sylvia who she met at oncology, has had the same
pain.
But to me, a pain is always a worry and you think the worst.
She’s keeping an eye on her temperature and going to call her GP if things don’t change.
Also had a letter today for a CT scan on .....Christmas Eve!
Then cycle 4 is on 30TH December, so looking forward to that....NOT!
I had a complete stranger come up to me today and ask if he’d seen me before on TV,
how embarrassing!!!

Get The Beer In (2009-12-17 17:59)

Tina, the cookery teacher from King Ed V11 came to see Michelle today.
She turned up early so Michelle missed out on her usual soup & sandwich at dinner time.
They had a good waffle and catch up.
I got home about 3pm and we shot off to Asda in Leicester to take advantage of their 3 for £20 cases of beer.
Of course we couldn’t come out of their without a family chocolate trifle, 2 cream cakes and some double
Gloucester with chives and onion.....all for Michelle of course!
I knew I wasn’t getting any trifle when she asked ” Do you think I’ll eat it all?”
66
I thought, what a family one, yes probably lol.
On the way back I called into two of my Aunties houses who had ordered calendar’s.
Then added that to the money I’d collected from work yesterday, had a quick count and it came to £250!
My sister Janet still has money for me to collect, and my mum, along with King Ed’s money and Ross &
David’s.
I asked about Michelle’s pain in her womb, and she said it was a lot better than yesterday and she hadn’t
been going to the toilet as much.
She had the lymphoma sweats twice last night so that seems better.
She did look tired today though, and her hair has started thinning out at the sides now, but she’s still in
good spirits, and that’s half the battle.

Weekend before Christmas (2009-12-19 18:56)

It’s the last weekend before Christmas 2009, and can’t remember what we were doing this time last year,
maybe because we took life for granted.
That won’t happen again though because now we live for today, tomorrow and hopefully the next day.
We are both in good spirits and Michelle is SO looking forward to Christmas now and I love her to bits.
And we were so pleased to get a Christmas card from our friends Andy and Emma, friends we’ve made
through the Macmillan site.
Today was so cold so we had another lazy day, we didn’t want to brave the shops in a wheel chair because
that would of been madness.
It was Babycham for Michelle then a curry ( but don’t tell the hospital )
It’s so quiet in our house since everyone moved out, not sure if we like quiet or mad like it used to be.
Yesterday Michelle went back to see all her friends and work mate’s at King Edward Vll college for their
staff Christmas party and came back with a juicy cheque for our calendar.
In the evening it was my work’s night out, a few beers in town then a curry.
I left after the curry because Michelle was home alone and I worry about her, so picked her up some chips
on the way home, and her eyes lit up at the sight of food!
Nothing else to waffle on about now so I’m off to watch Saturday night rubbish TV with Michelle.

Bad News All Round (2009-12-22 18:45)

Not been a few good days for all us cancer folk.

Our friends from the Macmillan site are not having very ”Good Days” right now.
Manda & Pete are not well, and Andy & Emma are having a rough time too, not what we really all want
just before Christmas.
Michelle is suffering too, very tired, sunken eyes, looking generally not well.
She’s also not happy about going in to hospital on Christmas Eve either, then we’ll have a great New Year’s
Eve after cycle 4 on 30Th December.
Tomorrow on 23RD December 2009 it’s Claire’s mum’s Jan Johnson’s funeral, we met Claire through the
Macmillan site and through Kavanagh Communications, the PR company where she works that have helped
our 2010 charity calendar along the way.
Guess we are all tired now after a long few month’s, just ready for Santa now and a break from everything.

67
Christmas Eve (2009-12-24 15:29)

It’s Christmas Eve 24TH December 2009.

Who would of thought that this time last year we’d be here writing a blog about cancer and what’s happened
over the last few months.
It’s been a roller coaster as expected, but we’re here 7 months down the line stronger,wiser and with some
very special people in our life’s now as life long friends.
Now here’s a story.... Morrison’s + wheel chair & trolley( total 10 FT ) ignorant people and a jar of beetroot!
We went to Morrison’s on Tuesday for ’The Big Shop’ as Peter Kay puts it!
Trying to get around people was like driving my lorry around, and I was losing my temper as no one would
move.
Michelle sat there happy as Larry pointing at stuff she wanted putting in the 10 foot thing we were in.
Then we got to the checkout, and we saw a cashier who is slightly weird and last time moaned about her
tooth ache.
So I said to Michelle ” Watch me wind her up”
As I put the things on the belt I said ” How’s your tooth ache now?”
Well that started her off and Michelle was laughing, then my mobile rang and it was my mum, I passed it
to Michelle and then.......BANG!
I missed the bag and a jar of beetroot shattered on the floor just missing the women in the next queue!
” You’ll never guess what he’s just done Joyce” Michelle said to my mum on the phone.
There was enough people staring without her knowing and taking the piss!
So today, on Christmas Eve Michelle went with Kay (what a star she’s been for us both ) for a full body CT
scan.
Then they collected Michelle’s mum Sheila, from the Thurmaston nursing home for Christmas but she was
in a bad mood and playing up.
Seeing the nursing home upset Michelle, as all they do is sit around all day and aren’t allowed in their rooms
all day,
she’s now going to her home village nursing home in Shepshed permanently on Sunday.
I finished work at 12.30pm, came home to pick Michelle up and went straight down my mum’s house as we’re
not going in the morning, first time for years.
Adam ( my eldest son ) and his new girlfriend Lizzy were there, my sister Janet, her daughter Sarah and her
boyfriend Dave.
Michelle said she was cold so next thing my mum’s shot up and it’s four bars on the gas fire and it’s like a
sauna!
Everyone was roasting but Michelle was sat there in her element.
It’s now our quiet time, I’ve started on a few beers already and Michelle has got some Sheridan’s drink in.
Curry and crap TV later and then it’s time to got to bed and wait for Santa ( me? no I’m not excited at all
LOL )

Our 2009 Christmas (2009-12-27 15:07)

I woke up about 5am on Christmas day so went down stairs, and then I had to wait another 4 hours before
anyone else got up!
Michelle can’t do anything without a coffee, so once sorted she came and sat down, then Matt got up.
It was really weird not having Simon getting up with us all on Christmas day, but he was to arrive later in
the afternoon.
Matt took his usual 5 minutes to rip everything open and he was really pleased with his presents.
Michelle likes to save some of her presents for later on in the day, she likes to make them last her, she’s done
68
it every year since we’ve been together.
Presents opened and turkey cooking, it was time for me to prepare Christmas dinner.
My phone was none stop for 1/2 hour getting text messages from various people wishing us Merry Christmas
which was nice.
I never actually ate any Christmas dinner, because after getting it all ready and being hot I never fancied
mine then, that happens every year too.
A few drinks in front of the TV and it was a lovely quiet day for a change, we were both too full from eating
and drinking, then I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up when Michelle went to bed.
Boxing day was shopping day, did you doubt it? lol
So off to Curry’s first to buy a TV for the bedroom in the sale, Michelle wanted to try and walk around the
shop, we took our time and she held on to me and she made it, I was so proud of her.
Next we went into Leicester clothes shopping for Michelle, and this time she needed the wheel chair as the
last shop had worn her out.
Shopping sorted and off to her brother Shaun’s house where Tracy & Kay were too along with Michelle’s
mum.
Two glasses of Tia Maria was Michelle’s tipple for the afternoon, and I was driving so was on orange juice.
Kay had made a lovely curry so Michelle scoffed that down, along with some deserts and Christmas cake,
and her mum Sheila just ate everything else that people left!!
It was nice to see Michelle’s mum Sheila as we hadn’t seen her for a while due to her ill health, and today
she goes into her new nursing home in Shepshed.
Michelle is upset about it but the mental health team there can do far more for her than any of the family
could.
Michelle says it’s not her old mum anymore and that’s the way she looks at it, but still says to her on the
phone, as she does EVERY family member at the end of EVERY single phone call ”You know I love you
don’t you?”
Today on 27TH December, we both went up to Coalville so Michelle could buy her 1/2 price Christmas cards
for next year, another yearly ritual she has!
Later in the afternoon Tracy & Kay turned up with their children and new puppy, so they all had a mad
half hour.
Then Adam & Lizzy turned up, so bang went our quiet afternoon but still nice to see everyone.
So all in all we’ve had a good Christmas, too much food, too much drink but we’ve had a laugh and enjoyed
ourselves.

Hair loss & Waiting (2009-12-31 09:45)

31ST December 2009- New Years Eve.

We’ve had some good days since Christmas, but reality bites us again and we’re back to the real thing.
Yesterday Michelle had cycle No.4 at Leicester Royal, a long drawn out day again with all the waiting to see
the consultant and then chemo being put in slowly.
Michelle didn’t see her usual consultant, DR. Kennedy it was one of his team.
As usual with these things you never get the same information as if you’ve seen your own consultant.
They had the results of the Christmas Eve CT scan, and he said that ”there was still something there in her
womb”, he didn’t know what it was! Fluid or as he said ”possibly still cancer.”
He also said that the lymphoma MASS was still there, although ” you are only half way through your
treatment”
Why do they say ”MASS” it always sticks in my head as being short for massive, must be a phychological
thing with me.
This was a shock as DR. Simmonds had hoped that her chemo, radio & internal radio would of done the
69
trick.
Now we have to wait....wait....wait until January 14TH when we see DR Simmonds for accurate measured
results.
On a positive note though, he did say that Michelle was ”responding well to treatment”, not sure if that’s a
text book line they use.
Today on New Year’s Eve Michelle woke up at 5am complaining of feeling sick, I told her to take an anti-
sickness tablet but she just grunted and turned over.
Then at 7.30am she got out of bed, ran to the toilet and was sick, she says she always feels better after being
sick.
I had to be at the vets in Loughborough for 9am to take Lucy for her 2ND inoculations.
When I got back Michelle was up in her dressing gown having a coffee, and Lucy went mad when she saw
her mum.
She’s now taken herself back off to bed because she’s feeling really tired.
Over the last two weeks Michelle’s hair has really started to thin out, coming out when she combs it and
waking up with it on her pillow.
I noticed this morning big bald patch’s and I know she always said that she’d shave it off when it got like
that.
I’ll leave that decision to Michelle as I know it’s going to be upsetting for her.
So that’s where we are at on the morning of New Years Eve 2009.

70
Chapter 2

2010

2.1 January

Welcome to 2010 (2010-01-01 15:54)

Our start to 2010 started at 3am this morning when Michelle shot out of bed to be sick.
She then had stomach ache with it after, so I got her a drink, tablet and the thermometer.
She then had a good sleep and when I woke up in the morning I noticed big bald patch’s on her head and
hair all over her pillow.
We lay there for a while watching TV in bed, which is a real rarity for us as we’re usually straight up after
we’ve woken up, and her hair was everywhere.
Down stairs and with a coffee in hand Michelle kept pulling and touching her hair.
She said she was fed up with it falling out and going everywhere and asked me what I thought she should
do.
This wasn’t my decision to make as it was a big thing for Michelle, buy it upset me and I started crying, but
she told me that I needed to be strong for her.
She then made the decision to shave it off, so went went into the dining room with a pair of scissors, electric
shavers and a lump in my throat.
Here we were New Years Day 2010 and I was about to cut my wife’s hair off, I gave her a hug and we both
had a cry together.
After about 1/2 hour of chopping and shaving the dreaded job was done.
She looked in the mirror and said ” I look like a bloody alien”
I then set about cleaning the house up whilst Michelle chose a bandana which we’d previuosly bought.
Half way through cleaning up we had a text from Manda & Pete wishing us a Happy New Year and to say
they put their calendar up, it was a lovely distraction for me from cleaning, and I’d totally forgotten about
the calendar! How could I after all these months of planning!
To my surprise when she came down she said that she was glad her hair thing was over now, she’d spent
weeks worrying about it but now the initial shock was over she was smiling again.
2009 is now behind us, and although it’s not going to be a bed of roses, 2010 is here and we’ll see what it
holds for us.
The best things about getting lost in this life is the things you find along the way, and 2009 we found some
very special friends in Manda & Pete and Andy & Emma.
We thank them for their help and support in 2009 and wish them a happy 2010.

71
Tears & Shopping (2010-01-02 17:22)

This morning started with me decorating Simon’s old room ready for painting whilst Michelle took down
our Christmas tree and cards.
Matt arrived back after going out on New Years Eve, apparently he’s now going back out with Millie again!
I lose track.
It’s the first time he’d seen his mum since she shaved her hair off, and I think it was a shock for him and he
had tears in his eyes.
Michelle gave him a hug and told him ” You know I love you don’t you?”
So after I’d run out of wallpaper we made a move to the shops, Michelle had planned what the new spare
room was going to look, like so off we went.
She wore a bandanna, which surprised me, she’s not too sure she likes the wig she’s chosen now.
Dunhelm Mill was first but it had steps so Michelle had to walk, it’s quite a big shop and after we’d got
some bedding Michelle was blowing a bit.
On the way out of the shop she had tears in her eyes and said to me ”I’m fed up with feeling ill all the time”
I think the shock of losing her hair and tiredness from that shop was a bit much for her.
Back home now, and I got set on finishing the decorating, now we’d got some more wallpaper, then I ran
out of paste! Doh!
Simon is coming after work today to collect his birthday present and card, he’s 23 today, how time flies.
So another quiet night in front of the TV for us tonight, and nothing much else to report.

Back to work but for how long? (2010-01-05 16:53)

It’s now January 5th and back to normal.

Work for me started back yesterday on Monday January 4Th 2010.
Michelle hated it that I wasn’t at home, and I wasn’t too pleased to be there
either, but needs must I suppose.
When I got home she had her wig on, and she wore it when I nipped into Coalville although she didn’t get
out of the car.
I called in Simon’s shop and picked her up two trendy wholly hats, and when I got back to the car she took
her wig off and put a hat one and she said it was a lot warmer.
We’ve been chatting about out virtual friend today and how she’s taken time off work to look after her fiance.
Our GP has offered before to write me a sick note to look after Michelle but I feel guilty and a bit of a fraud
if I do.
We know that after each cycle her side affects are getting worse each time, so we’re not looking forward to
cycle 5 on, and that’s when she’d need me at home.
I’ve spoken to my boss at work and he’s got no problem with it at all, but I’ve still got the guilty feeling.
Today,5TH January I’ve had a nightmare day at work due to the snow.
Didn’t know if I’d get home to be honest, it was that bad.
And now got tomorrow to look forward to!
Michelle is being kept busy by her latest project of the spare room, she’s ordered a bed, mirror etc and looks
forward her her ”designing bit” that she loves to do, she’ll move things around in the room when it’s finished
for hours until she thinks it’s right, and she loves doing that and keeps her happy.

72
Off Some Foods (2010-01-07 17:09)

Nothing much to report today to be honest.

Work and trying to deliver in the snow has been rubbish.
Having said that I got home at 2.30pm and off we went to Dunhelm for some
more bedding, and Michelle walked around that shop again, although she was
blowing a little after.
Next we went to Morrison’s and this time in the 10FT chair/trolley combo, and
as usual Michelle pointed to what she wanted.
She’s now gone off cream cakes, cheese, pringles all the stuff she used to love.
She’s still eating OK but just different things, she lost one pound at her last chemo weigh in.
Just playing the waiting game again now until we see Michelle’s cervical consultant
on January 14TH.

Just The Two Of Us (2010-01-09 17:55)

We started the morning by finishing the decorating in Simon’s old room.

Then it was off to see my mum and fit her new TV in for her, whilst the house was roasting Michelle sat
there in her tee shirt, jumper , coat , woolly hat and coffee that my mum had made her ( she likes to fuss
around her when we visit ) and she said she felt ” just nice” I was roasting.
After a while she got tired and could tell she wanted to be in our own home so she could relax so off we went.
Then Adam ( my eldest son ) and his girlfriend Lizzy came to visit, but after a while she got tired quickly
again and they went home.
During the week Matt ( Michelle’s youngest ) and his girlfriend Millie looked at a flat and paid the bond
and they move out next weekend.
So the that just leaves Michelle & me!
Just before Christmas there were six people living here and we don’t know how we coped, so it’ll be nice for
the house to be quiet and less house work to do.
It’s sad to see them go but the house will be so much more relaxed now.
We now look forward to some quality time just for us, but being a parent will never be over...EVER! LOL

Staying In (2010-01-10 14:51)

The car has not moved today, and neither have we.
The snow keeps stopping and starting so we’re stopping in where it’s warm.
Buying things makes Michelle happy right now which she can’t explain, so we’ve been on the Internet looking
at lamps, carpet cleaners and all sorts.
I’ve done a bit of painting in the spare room but kept going light headed ( which I’ve had for a couple of
weeks now ) but generally felt rubbish and feels like I’m starting with a cold.
Michelle said that if I get a cold I’ll have to go and live at my mum’s so she doesn’t catch it, and at the same
time laughing and saying that she’d have the TV remote!
I was thinking this morning about our blog, and so glad now that I started it.
And it also dawned on me that this blog will be available on the Internet FOREVER, long after Michelle &
I are gone and that’s weird.
Although I still actually print out our blog and save it in a folder for anyone to read now or in the future.
I also read out a large selection of our virtual friends blog to Michelle, and she sat, listened and took it all
73
in and asked a few questions.
She remembered about when we were getting married and all the planning along the way, that seems such a
long time a go now and so many things have happened along the way, but memories that we’ll always have
to keep.
Lucy is getting bigger by the day now and I’m so glad that I bought her, she’s a proper mummies girl and
Michelle loves her to pieces.

Results Day (2010-01-14 18:02)

Nothing really to report since Sunday, but we’re back with a vengeance today.
I want to write the date of THURSDAY 14TH JANUARY down as a day to remember.
This is the day we went to see Dr. Simmonds for the results of Michelle’s Christmas Eve CT scan.
As you may remember back on December 30TH when Michelle had cycle 5 of R-CHOP, she didn’t see her
usual Lymphoma consultant but one of his team who told her:
” I think there is something still there in your cervix, possible still cancer but not sure”
Since then we have been dreading this day, you know the if’s, but’s and whatever to think about.
I finished work at 12.30pm and drove home to pick Michelle up, looking very trendy in her bandanna.
Off to Leicester Royal we set off, and Michelle was not looking forward to this, neither was I but tried not
to show it.
Arrived at the car park queue at 1.55pm and got in the car park at 2.25pm, with an appointment time of
2.30pm.
When we got in reception I glanced across at the Macmillan shop with our calendar for sale on the notice
board and had a smile.
Then booked in and took our seats.
Michelle said that when we first started coming everyone had bandanna’s or wigs, and today she was the
only one with no hair, everyone else looked like newbies!
One lady came out and met back up with her husband ( why didn’t he go in with her?)
and she told him that she needed to come back in six months time, then one year after that and that was it.
I sat there and felt jealous and wished that was us, all over and done.
After many stares thrown in Michelle’s direction because she looked like a PROPER cancer patient!!?? We
were called in.
We went into an examination room with the nurse and she said ” I don’t think you will be seeing a consultant
today” EH? Why had we come?
” Is this your first time here? ” She asked and then at Michelle’s head and realised what a mistake she’d
made!
She ushered us back to the waiting room and said they’d call us back again.
We then saw Linda, a lymphoma nurse that Michelle really likes and has been friends with from day one.
She asked Linda if she’d like to come in on our consultation, and she jumped at the chance.
After about 15Min’s we got called back in and Linda was right behind us.
It was DR. Simmonds her own oncologist consultant YES!
Michelle and Linda went in the room for an internal examination, and I waited outside thinking that after
we’d see DR.Simmonds together,but it all happened in there and I missed out :(
After 10Min’s Linda came out and put one thumb up in the air to me.
Shortly after Michelle came out with tears in her eyes.
Was it good or bad?
To say that this was THE BEST day we’d had since May would be an understatement!
After examination DR Simmonds told Michelle :
” THERE IS NO SIGN AT ALL OF CANCER IN YOUR CERVIX”
74
OMG that was it she’d done it, no more cervical cancer!!!
She now doesn’t need to see her cervical consultant for another 3 months.
We’re half way there now, but still have the lymphoma to deal with.
Our battle isn’t over yet by a long way but we’ll carry on just like before.
I am so proud of Michelle and all that she has been through so far, and a day we’ll remember for a long time
to come.

Manda and Pete (2010-01-14 20:45:02)

Yippee yeah!!!!!!!!

Visit Sheila & Big Surprise (2010-01-15 18:07)

[1]
It’s the day after our great news about Michelle’s cervical cancer.
Last night was spent phoning everyone about our news.
Everyone we spoke to were so pleased for us, it feels like a land mark
victory for us and beating this thing.
After work I picked Michelle up and we went straight to her mums nursing home for the first time.
The home and her mums room were lovely and Sheila looked so much better than she has for ages.
Michelle’s brother Shaun and his wife Viv were there when we turned up.
After a coffee and some cake, they went and we were given the grand tour by Sheila ( Michelle’s mum )
We all know she’s in there for good now but Michelle felt so much better for seeing her mum and it put her
mind at rest that she’s in a nice place and happy.
We picked up a prescription from the GP and told the receptionist about Michelle’s results and she was so
pleased and was going to tell DR. Lewis.
When we got home, Matt had moved all his things out of his bedroom as he’d got the keys to his new flat
at 2pm this afternoon,so that’s just Michelle & me now.
Then we found our big surprise in the post.
Our virtual friends that have been there for us from day one are getting married in May.
We found a wedding invitation from them inviting us to their evening celebration!
We were so chuffed and will be booking our room at the golf club tomorrow, but Michelle is ALREADY
planning what to wear! LOL
To think that in May last year we didn’t even know each other and now we are going to their wedding, we
are so looking forward to it.
After our results we just now want all our friends to have the good results that we’ve had, that includes
75
Manda & Pete and Andy & Emma, and when that day comes it’ll be as good as our own news.
We’d like to send our love to all four of you and thank you for all your help and support since we all met.
1. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/S1C2WOniUUI/AAAAAAAAACc/3EEnGpHSDJE/s1600-h/029.JPG

The Big Sort Out (2010-01-17 10:25)

Yesterday was spent with Michelle’s brother Shaun and his wife Viv at Michelle’s mum’s house sorted through
her things.
I was a bit apprehensive about going as the thought of sorting through her things whilst she’s still alive was
weird for me, although if we didn’t do it now it’ll only have to be done later anyway.
Shaun has been doing a fantastic job with the house, and after having the hallway decorated and moved
things out it looked massive.
Old people are hoarders by nature I think and Sheila was no exception, unopened shoes, cloth’s etc you name
it and it was there.
After getting home I decided to do the same at our house, and with the combination of the two lets say Matt
has plenty of stuff for his new flat!
Our biggest surprise of yesterday ( two days with two surprises) and the CHERRY ON TOP was a lovely
selection of flowers from our virtual friends to congratulate Michelle on her results.
What a lovely thought and surprise and you should of seen her face light up, she absolutely loves flowers and
these were her favourite colours!
I phoned the golf club and booked our room for the wedding, fingers crossed Michelle will be OK on the big
day.
The days sorting and running around had taken it’s toll on Michelle last night though and she was knackered,
so I ordered a sit down and a drink of Corkey’s ( a future wedding drink)!!
Today it’s a lazy morning start for us both, then off to Morrison’s to do some shopping....great :(
Then later on Michelle is going to put the curtains up in the first of our new spare rooms, and I’ll guarantee
she’s be in there for a good hour titivating and fluffing things about!
Back to work for me in the morning but only for three days hopefully, as I’m off to see our GP for a sick
note to have some time off to spend with Michelle during her next couple of chemo cycles.

Don’t do a flopper in Iceland! (2010-01-18 18:30)

At work today I had a temp driver with me, and for the next three days to learn my route whilst I’m off
work.
He was a nice enough bloke, and took it all in.....I hope.
Finished work and Michelle had put the curtains up in the first new spare room and it looked lovely, she was
so pleased.
And then it was off in to Coalville to call in the bank,and on the way saw on old friend who owns a barbers
shop.
He started to tell me his daughters cervical cancer had come back 8 times, I really wanted to listen to that
and Michelle certainly didn’t.
So after the bank we went into Dunhelm Mill shop as she wanted to look for bedside lamps, I told her to
take her time as I had taken the wheel chair out of the car and we called into the tip on the way.
Next shop was Iceland for some freezer food, and again with no chair, she held on to the trolley and all was
good.....until the second aisle when she stopped and held on to one of the freezers.
She said that it comes on all of a sudden and she feels light headed and dizzy, I selfishly thought ” Don’t do
76
a flopper on me now in the middle of Iceland!”
After a few minutes she was OK but realized that she’d try to over do it again, but pleased with her efforts.
So called in my mums to drop a few things off whilst Michelle stayed in the car and chatted to my sister
Janet who’d came out to talk to her ( my mum & sister live next door to each other )
Then off home for something to eat and watch the usual rubbish TV.

Pre- Chemo Day (2010-01-19 18:56)

Not alot to report today, normal work then home.

Came home and my cousin Jayne was there to visit Michelle, as she as always done since she’s Michelle’s
been ill but obviously not to do her hair.
Slow cookers are the future and I put a curry on at 4am this morning before I went to work and it smelt
lovely when I got home, with mash potatoe’s ......Michelle’s weird taste’s!!!
Later on Simon and Danni came to visit after work and Simon bought his mum a congratulations card for
her results.
It’ll be a restless night tonight as it’s the night before cycle 5 of chemo.
It’s an early start for a change tomorrow at 9am, as last time Michelle went she complained that she always
has the longest treatment and is always the last person out.
So instead of an 11am start and finishing at 5pm she should hopefully be home earlier.

Cycle 5 & Sick Note (2010-01-20 18:32)

Today saw Michelle going to the hospital, with the ever faithful Kay, for 9am for cycle 5 of R-CHOP
lymphoma chemo.
As usual it was a long drawn out day with Michelle sleeping through it most of the time.
Kay and I played the usual text game where I ask how things are going and she replies after each stage.
Professor Dyer was very pleased with Michelle’s progress, he also saw us both on TV and said that he was
very proud of our part in helping with the Macmillan calendar.
Talking of the calendar, the reporter from The Leicester Mercury phoned me out of the blue towards the
end of last week and was having a general chat about how things had been going, the next I knew about it
was people at work saying that they’d seen me in the paper the previous night, here is the link:
http://www.thisisleicestershire.co.uk/news/ll-right-year-says-amateu r-calendar-fund-raiser/article-1720076-
detail/article.html
So then after work today it was off to see my GP to get a sick note to look after Michelle, but it didn’t turn
out the way I’d planned.
He wrote me a note out for 4 weeks....job done, but not.
He then asked about any smoking : NO
He asking me about drinking : A little ( white lie )
And then he took my blood pressure, then again the again and finally said;
” Don’t worry about anything but I want to see you again in a weeks time to do it again”
Don’t bloody worry! It’s exactly what I’m going to do and was like a rabbit in the head lights and didn’t
know what to say.
Foolishly I then asked him about a lump that I’ve had on the back of my calf for months now, and he said
it’s a strained Achilles tendon.
Michelle joked before I went that I’d have to wear a club foot shoe, and OMG she laughed when I got back
as I’ve got to wear a ’HEEL RAISER’ to take the pressure off!
77
Wished I’d never of gone now! :(
So now I’ve got four weeks of to look after Michelle, look like a freak with a big shoe and worry about my
blood pressure.
Welcome to our world that is ever far from normal LOL !!!

Time To Work? (2010-01-21 19:33)

It’s day one of my ”home” sick today.

It started by being woken at 5am with hearing Michelle being sick in the toilet.
She came back to bed and then slept well until 9am when I got up and left her to sleep.
I intended that my time off wasn’t going to be wasted and I’d get up early and sorted straight away, but it
never works out that way.
Dustbin out, dogs fed, coffee made, cleaned up and now time to start the day!
Off to work to hand my sick note in, hair cut, carpet cleaner picked up from Argos and home phew!
When I got back Michelle was up and looking tired and pale, she wasn’t hungry and still looked so tired,
and it was still only mid-day.
Even after new stronger anti-sickness tablets, Michelle was sick again.
I used the new carpet cleaner to do the first spare room and mend the gate that the idiot window cleaner
almost knocked down because it was bolted when he came early and we were in bed.
The afternoon for me was spent on the phone sorting out our electricity company who was trying to raise our
monthly DD by 50 %, surprising how nice they are when you tell them you want to change energy companies.
Tea time and Michelle wanted mash, beans and fish fingers which she wolfed down, and up to now has kept
it down too.
Today has flown by and I’m wondering now how I had time to go to work.

Fish Finger Fetish (2010-01-22 19:03)

Today was surprisingly a good day.

I seem to be still waking up at the same time ready for work,so I got up and went downstairs to go on the
PC and left her to rest.
She appeared downstairs at 10am fully dressed and ready for a ciggy & coffee ( her staple morning diet )
No sick today, although still looking a pale colour.
It was chucking it down outside and thought that we’d spend the day in relaxing and being lazy, but Michelle
had a different idea.
She said that she was fed up with feeling ill but didn’t want to spend all day in bed or watching TV, which
was a surprise but it’s her attitude to all of this and that’s what makes me so proud of her.
Off to Ikea & Dunhelm Mill where we got stuff for the spare rooms along with chips, peas & sausage on the
way, which she wolfed down and left none!
Got home around 4pm where Michelle did her stuff in the bedroom( OOO that sounds rude!) what I mean
is her moving stuff about to see where she likes it, as predicted before :)
After her chips she was moaning she was full all day and didn’t want any tea.
But she’s just asked for fish fingers again, she’s got a craving for them all of a sudden.
Yesterday she’d eaten us out of fish fingers so she’s had to have burger and fried onions and anything else
she can find in the kitchen!!
Michelle got a letter from Linda, her lymphoma nurse which was a surprise.
It was a hand written letter to say that her ”It’s Just A Six Letter Word” calendar was in pride of place and
78
to offer her place on a two hour free course that does a ”Make Up Makeover” and free cosmetics to bring
home.
It’s a nationwide course for ladies having chemo and to make them feel and look better about themselves.

Escaped From A Home (2010-01-23 16:01)

Maybe our blog is not all very PC as it should be, but it’s our life and the way we live it and this is a warts
and all account of our day to day life.
Lazy start to the day, and this is forming a pattern now since I’ve been off work.
After chatting last night we decided that I’d do the food shopping and Michelle would stay in for the day
after she was feeling rough again.
When it came to it, I was so tired when I got up and have felt like this all day.
Michelle didn’t want to stop in after all, she got me to write a shopping list, have a shower and get ready
for a day of pushing her round pointing at shops she wanted to go in.
With Michelle you’ve probably learnt by now that one shop doesn’t mean one shop it means four shops.
Morrison’s with the shopping trailer attached and on a Saturday, where we mad?
We got in and out, picking up our Corkey’s supply along the way.
Then Focus, Pound Stretcher...the list goes on.
Michelle wanted to buy a rug, and that’s when it all happened...........
We were going around the shop, Michelle in a wheel chair & bandanna on, me with my shoe insert (advised
by my GP) that made me walk like Heather Mills.
Michelle then saw a cow print rug and out of the blue she started to make moooo’ing noises.
We looked like a pair that had just escaped from a local home, she was laughing and the more I told her not
to, because people were staring, the more she did it!
It’s not very PC but it’s memories like this that we’ll always both have, and no matter what happens in life,
no one can take away your memories.
On the way home we nipped into my mum’s house to see if she’d got any spare glasses, because when Michelle
woke up this morning one of her contact lense had split and she couldn’t get a replacement until Monday
and it was giving her a headache.
She tried the only spare pair on that my mum had, and she looked like a cross between Olive from ” On The
Buses ” and Deidre from ” Coronation Street” !!!
We’re now home, and not sure whether to hit the pubs and clubs or stay in and watch Sky+’d Emmerdale
( Michelle not me!) !!!
So after a lot of thought we’ve decided to stay in........for a change :)

3am and 3 Pork Pies (2010-01-24 14:52)

Our day started off very differently today, in fact it started at 3am!
Michelle got up to go to the toilet at 2.30am and then that woke me up too.
We started talking and found out we were both wide awake, so put the TV on.
After about 1/2 Michelle was moaning that she was hungry and wanted some pork pie!
So at 3am we were sat watching Colin Fry ( she’s loves all those people, Derek Acorah etc )and she ate 3
mini pork pies and was still hungry.
Next she had a bowl of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, and two bottles of lucozade.
She did fancy a fried egg sandwich but passed on that as she was full, and she’s still only 10 stone!
We eventually went to sleep about 4.30am.
79
I put the Sunday meat in the slow cooker at 3am and when we surfaced at 9am it smelt so nice.
I made today a day to get some jobs done, gate mended and varnished, patio cleaned and I was going to
hoover the car out but it started to rain :) so got out of that.
Then dinner prepared & PC wireless keyboard and mouse attached ( Christmas present)
Not a bad day of getting things done, whilst Michelle took an anti-sickness tablet and caught up with her
recorded TV.
She phoned a friend at work, Aunt in Wales, Simon & Matt and no one answered!
My niece Sarah goes to Morrison’s every Sunday so she’s getting us new supplies of pork pie and lucozade
in case we wake up in the night again lol.

Getting Upset (2010-01-25 18:43)

Michelle got a bit upset last night and had a cry, which is unusual to see in public for her.
After seeing me do the job’s in the day she said she felt guilty and frustrated that she couldn’t help.
I gave her a big hug but it must be horrible for her because she’s always been so active and could never sit
down before being ill.
This morning turned into this afternoon very quickly and I didn’t get dressed until 2pm, Michelle didn’t
want to do anything as a couple of days earler one of her contacts split and this afternoon the other one did
and it gives her a headache without them.
Again she was getting frustrated because she was putting things down and couldn’t find them again.
We got to the opticians early and Michelle had to go into all her illness and treatment with the optician as
chemotherapy can affect your eye sight.
40 mins later she appeared with a spare pair to tide her over until next Tuesday when her new ones come,
she’s a happy bunny now she can see :)
Call into my mum’s on the way back, and next door to see my sister Janet.
Why does everyone elses houses always feel warmer than your own?
We didn’t stay long as we’d got to get back because of the dogs.
So we’re now home again and time to relax and Michelle is having...fish fingers, AGAIN!
How sad are we getting, as we’ve always got tomorrow’s meal of liver & onions ready to put in the slow
cooker in the morning!
We’ll be wetting the bed and playing bingo next lol

Manda and Pete (2010-01-25 19:41:29)

Hey hang on a minute... I PLAY BINGO lol
manda

Visiting Day (2010-01-27 10:49)

Our day started when we had to get dressed as my cousin Jayne was coming to see Michelle, for blog regulars
you may remember Jayne as she used to come every week to do Michelle’s hair, but now still visits every
week just the same.
After she’d gone, we set off and picked my mum up.
I then dropped Michelle off at the nursing home and donated a box of calendars to the home instead of
throwing them away.
Michelle dropped off and it was on to Coalville hospital where my mum had got an appointment for her
curly toes!
80
I sat in the waiting room, just me, reading a magazine on feet! It was either that or twiddle my thumbs and
to be honest I think that would of been more exciting.
Also donated a box of calendars here too, although the receptionist had to ask someone if it was OK? Eh?
They were free?
Now in usual mum style we had to go into Coalville, and it’s never just one shop.
Her feet were hurting so I had to push her in Michelle’s chair, not one day off :(
And she’d left her blue badge in my sisters car and I had to bloody PAY to park!!!
After she’d got some new shoes to fit her weird feet I picked a plant up for Michelle’s mum, and off to the
nursing home to see Michelle & Sheila.
It’s a lovely home she’s in and Sheila calls it ”my little flat”.
It was the first time my mum had been there and she always likes a good nose around to see what’s going
on.
When we got in the room Sheila was lay on the bed with a blanket, it turns out that she’d told the doctor
and carers that she had a pain and couldn’t go to the toilet ( typical mental symptoms she gets daily) so
they gave her something to ”go” but she ”went” a bit too quickly, if you know what I mean.
We stayed a while longer and then left her to rest for the day.
Michelle’s brother Tracy and his wife Kay live about 100 yards from the home so we called in there on the
way back.
Tracy was out but Kay was in and so pleased we’d call in to see them.
They have got a big fantastic house and again the first time my mum had been there since they’d moved in
since coming back from Spain.
We got back home and Paul Morse had dropped Andy’s car off after servicing it for him, so I called Andy
and he arranged to call around later.
I sorted tea out, my liver & onions that had been in the slow cooker all day with carrots, cabbage and
mash.....but ordinary gravy! ( in joke )
Andy arrived with his wife Mandy ( who Michelle used to work with years a go) and his two kids.
The kids went mad with the dogs and the house was very loud, and this causes Michelle to get tired quickly
and I think they all saw this and made their exit.
Now 7pm and Michelle was shattered, she get tired so quickly still, so it was TV then I ran her a bath and
early to bed.
It’s now Wednesday 27Th January 2010 and it’s 11.15am and I’m still not dressed.
Michelle’s sat eating her cereals and waiting for me to have a shower and hit the shops, because she now
wants to start on the second spare room :(
That will mean decorating for me, I feel tired already.

The Good, The Bad & The Hospital (2010-01-31 11:14)

Since I finished work we’ve had some really ’Good Days’ and been enjoying ourselves.
But since Thursday, when I blogged last, things have gone a bit down hill.
On Wednesday Michelle started with a cough, usually at night when she got warm.
So I called into the chemist to get her some cough mixture, and then got a thousand questions about ” Is
she on any medication? ”
After a long blown out affair the chemist would only sell me a simple linctus mixture.
Thursday and Friday Michelle felt generally ”yucky” as she calls it.
She looked ill and pale and didn’t really want to move from the sofa, which is so unlike her.
She was eating OK, still off certain foods and craving others, but still eating and drinking OK, these were
now our rare ’Bad Days’
Saturday came and she spent the day in front of the TV whilst I did some more work in the spare room.
81
By 4pm I was knackered and had enough for the day, so jumped in the shower.
I knew I had to go food shopping but kept putting it off, and didn’t really want to put it off until Sunday.
So coat on and headed to Morrison’s, Michelle staying in the warm because she kept saying that she couldn’t
keep warm.
After a record time around the supermarket (I’m always quicker on my own) I got back home to Michelle
looking awful and looking so cold, even though the heating was on full blast.
After putting the shopping away it was time for the thermometer to come out.
I then wrote down each reading on a piece of paper and took it every half hour.
6.30pm-37.6, 7.00pm-38.0, 7.30pm-37.1 and so on until 8.30pm.
After taking her coat off that she was wearing in the house, I fetched a quilt and pillow downstairs and made
her comfy.
I then sneaked off into the other room to call the hospital.
I’d got my numbers ready by the PC desk but never thought I’d ever have to use them, because she’d been
doing so well.
I got through to a nurse in the Haematology ward and went through all her temperature readings and
symptoms.
She said that she’d speak to a doctor and call me back, which happened about 5 Min’s later.
She said that there were no beds available on Haematology and that if needed I should call A &E department.
I checked her temps again and they were going down, the nurse didn’t seem too concerned so we left it at
that.
Michelle having a hot bath and off to bed early.
At 1.30am the phone rang, and everyone hates it when that happens because it’s rarely good news.
” Hello Mr Hooper? ” said the male voice on the other end of the phone.
”You called earlier about your wife, and we were wondering why you hadn’t bought her in?” he asked.
Eh? what’s going on here? I explained what had happened etc to him and he said there must of been some
confusion and apologised.
” We never refuse a patient with high temperature and we really need to see her tonight, can you make your
way in” he added.
I woke Michelle up, who was lovely and warm and fast asleep.
With a bit of moaning she got dressed and we both tried to wake up.
Then it dawned on me that I’d had a few beers last night and didn’t want to risk driving, so on the phone
to my sister Janet who was there in 10Min’s.
It was -3 outside and the journey to Leicester Royal seemed to take ages.
And when we got there we were buzzed in by the doctor who’d spoken to me on the phone earlier.
Janet stayed in the reception waiting area whilst we went in the lift to the haematology ward, where we were
told we were in the wrong place and where we needed was downstairs.
Michelle was walking so she was finding it hard, but we eventually found the oncology ward and was shown
a bed.
The nurse and doctor was on the case within 5 Min’s, blood tests, blood pressure etc.
The doctor again apologised about any confusion and said that they’d been down to A &E to look for us.
Anyway we were here now, and after examination and two attempts at trying to get blood, Michelle was
diagnosed with a chest infection.
Antibiotics straight away,a warm drink and two blankets.
Michelle said that she could taste the ’plastic’ of the antibiotics going in and proceeded to try and be sick,
but as soon as it was all in she was OK again.
Nicely tucked in, light off and all jobs done for now, I felt guilty as Janet was downstairs and if I waited any
longer I’d struggle to get the 15 miles back home.
So I guiltily left her falling asleep and headed home.
Got in home at 4am and got into bed, it felt weird being alone and that hadn’t happened since Michelle was
in hospital last May.
82
I couldn’t relax so put the TV on, after a while I drifted off and woke briefly to turn the TV off.
This morning I phoned the hospital at 9am to be told that she’d had some breakfast, but the doctors hadn’t
been round yet and to call back in an hour.
I called again and spoke to a different nurse who told me that her temperature had come down along with
her blood pressure, but the doctors still hadn’t been and to call back later.
So here I am, waiting for later to arrive and see if she staying in or coming home.
It’s horrible being her on my own, no lads making a noise now and no Michelle wanting food, drink and
shopping.
It’s so quiet and lonely and too much time for me to sit and think about stuff, good and bad, so trying to
keep myself busy until i can either pick her up or go to visit her.

2.2 February

In Hospital Blogging (2010-02-01 19:06)

Here I am sat next to Michelle in hospital updating our blog.

She’d hoped that she’d be out today, and although her temp & blood pressure
are back to normal her white cells are still low.
If her cells are OK tomorrow she’ll be able to come home.
I came to visit this afternoon 12 to 1pm, we saw DR. Simmonds on his rounds and although
he’s not Michelle’s consultant for this time he did come over to say hello,
and to say that his calendar was up at home and it thought it was ” a great piece of work”
So here I am now with my mum to visit.
I’ve bought Michelle a trifle which she’s wolfing as we speak.
And she’s saving the two pork pies I’ve bought her to ”eat under my sheets tonight”
I’ve also bought her mobile in so I can phone her later.
Today at home has been so so boring for me and the house feels so empty and quiet.
Lucy’s been going mad and missing Michelle so I filmed her on my phone to show Michelle in
hospital.
It’s now 7.25pm and visiting finish’s at 8pm so I’d better go for now and report back tomorrow.

Knockout! (2010-02-02 15:36)

After getting back from the hospital last night I dropped my mum off and decided to be a bachelor slob for
the night, so called in to the chip shop for kebab meat and chips.
When I got in home I headed to bed with a few beers and my night time picnic!
It was like being single again, on my own and I didn’t like it to be honest, I want my Michelle back home.
This morning I phoned Michelle on her mobile ( a lot easier than trying to get through to the ward ) and
the doctors hadn’t been round yet.
So after getting my list of things ready that she needed I headed off for my 1 hour visit 12-1.
I hit the usual car park queue and phoned Michelle as she was coming down to reception to meet me.
20 Min’s later I finally got in and parked.
Headed straight for The Osbourne building and there was Michelle in her new trendy red bandanna reading
a magazine on narrow boats( she must be bored!)
We headed up to her ward and she started telling me about a new lady that had come in last night that she
83
was getting on with really well.
She looked really tired today, and she said that she’d had hardly any sleep last night because of the old lady
opposite.
This lady has been really playing the nurses up at night, keeps her light on all night and generally keeping
everyone awake.
However last night was extra special as Michelle told me the full story.
We’re not supposed to laugh I know but what she told me had me in tears.
Michelle had finally drifted off to sleep in the early hours of the morning, when she thought, and I quote ” I
thought there was a bloody earthquake”
The old lady had tried to get to the toilet about 4am by using her walking frame, as she was passing Michelle’s
bed the old lady lost her balance, head butted the bottom of Michelle’s bed and knocked herself out!
It woke Michelle up and she buzzed for the nurses to come and the old lady got a bollocking for trying to go
on her own.
Michelle had taken her contact lenses out before going to sleep so couldn’t see a great deal of what was going
on, and thought the old ladies drip stand was falling and heading for her bed too!
I left the hospital at 1pm and headed home to sort the dogs out and fester in front of the TV, just passing
time until this evenings visit.
It’s now 4pm and have to call in the GP’s on the way to pick her up a prescription.
Her temp is now fine along with her blood pressure but still her white cells are low, so to be on the safe side
they are keeping her in again today.
Let’s see what tomorrow brings........

Remembering The Start All Over Again. (2010-02-05 19:16)

...... the next day bought us waiting and waiting again.

I got to the hospital for 11.30am and the doctors had told Michelle that she would be coming home today if
her bloods were OK.
Lunch and a meal for Michelle came and went at 2pm, then her next meal was 5pm and we were still there
just waiting for 9 tablets from the pharmacy.
Then the nurse in charge went to pharmacy to collect her tablets and we got away around 5.45pm.
All the dogs went mad to see Michelle, especially Lucy!
I dropped her off at home and went to the chip shop, as that’s what she fancied for her tea.
Just after I got back Matt and Millie called to see Michelle and use the Internet.
After they’d gone she wolfed down her chips, had a bath and headed for her own bed (nothing like your own
bed)
When Michelle woke Friday morning she got up about 10am for a cup of tea, which she usually hates but
chemo has made coffee taste ”of metal”
She then said that she was going upstairs, and she’d actually gone to bed where she stayed until 2.30pm.
She hadn’t slept in hospital and was catching up on her sleep.
Today I had to go back to Leicester Royal to take my mum to the gynocology department for an appointment.
As soon as I walked in I my tummy started turning over, as this was the place that Michelle and I had been
last year to arrange her first treatment,and upstairs is where she was diagnosed.
I saw the corner of the building that I’d phoned all the family to tell them that Michelle had got cancer, it
bought back the reality of the place we were in and I didn’t like it.
A quick exit saw me taking mum around a few shops before I headed back to Michelle.
When I got home I suggested that we go out for a ride as she hadn’t really been out since last Saturday and
it worked out great.
We had a laugh although she did get tired very quickly, and was asking me when I thought she would be
84
starting back to work.
I know it won’t be for a while yet, she wouldn’t be able to even make it to work right now, let alone do
anything when she was there.
Tonight she’s done nothing else but eat, soup, pork pie,cake and scotch egg, a healthy diet like my own!
Tomorrow is another day and another challenge, but we’ll always try and make the most of it, if Michelle
lets me get away from the decorating lol.

Back Out Shopping (2010-02-06 16:27)

Today started at mid-day after we both got dressed and headed to the shops.
Michelle didn’t really want to go but she didn’t take much persuading in the end.
So off in the car to pick up a pillow for her new spare bedroom, order carpet for the second spare bedroom
( which we’re having fitted on Wednesday, so I’ve got to pull my finger out)and into Wilkos where Michelle
saw some old friends and we had the usual stop and question routine.
Called into my mum’s to drop off her sausages that she’d phoned me up to get, whilst Michelle sat in the
car eating a full breakfast cob.
I helped my mum change her bed sheets and then we were back off home.
Back home and I cracked on with the decorating whilst Michelle was watching the shopping channels!
And then onto the Internet to look for a cream bed that she wants for the second spare room, she’s got it
all planned out.
Tonight is the usual of TV, curry, beer and falling asleep.

Manda and Pete (2010-02-07 00:30:43)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with TV, curry and sleep- love it! (especially if its a lamb rogan josh!)

Is Anybody There? (2010-02-07 18:38)

Last night after Michelle had a bath, I went to bed to watch TV and she stayed up to watch Most Haunted
Live, which she loves but gets scared after a while.
It just happened I had it on the TV in the bedroom too when she came up but I’d fallen asleep.
Apparently she got into bed and when Yvette said ” Is there anybody there?” I did a loud fart and woke up
to Michelle laughing her head off( how childish! lol)
This morning I was painting the ceiling in the spare room ( it’s like 60 Minuite Makeover, only with longer
time!)
Then it was off shopping, there’s a surprise, for a small chest of drawers for one room and a few bits from
Wilkos to sort out the cupboards.
Back home and it was decorating again until it got dark.
My time off is going so quickly, but as Michelle said earlier, she wants to get things sorted whilst she feels
like it, because she knows she’ll feel rubbish again after cycle 6 this Wednesday.
We’re both keeping our fingers crossed that her bloods will be OK for cycle 6, the district nurse is coming
in the morning to do her bloods.

85
Decorating..DONE! Cycle 6...DONE! (2010-02-10 16:18)

After 3 solid days decorating I’ve finally,a longer job than I thought but then again I had more to do with
this room.
Carpet fitted today and we’re so pleased it’s all done.
Today saw Kay take Michelle for cycle 6 of R-CHOP at Leicester Royal,she always likes Kay to take her and
for me to go to consultant results.
All went went, and her bloods were OK for treatment which was a relief.
She’s just come back and is now drinking her favourite soup...mulligatawny and watching TV.
It doesn’t seem five minutes since her lymphoma chemo started and we can’t believe how quickly it’s gone.
She’s now got to wait for a CT scan to determine if she’ll need the final two cycles of treatment.
I’ve had a mad day whilst she’s been gone.
The carpet fitter was supposed to come at 11am, so at 9.30am I put one leg in the shower and the front door
knocked, they were early!
After that I went shopping, and my mum tagged along, to stock up on Michelle’s favourite food right
now,soup, pork pies, cake and lucozade, gone are the days of cream cakes, pringles and cheese because it still
has that ’metal taste’ for her.
Just put the shopping away and put some flowers in her favourite vase that once housed her flowers from
Manda & Pete.
And that earned me some brownie points! lol
The district nurse is coming on Friday to give her an injection, which we have to keep in the fridge, so she
doesn’t end up in hospital again.
Michelle has also got some more new anti sickness tablets and must take them for 5 days if needed or not,
I’m a bit wary about that though because I’ve had advise on this before and was advised to just take them
when needed, so we’ll see.
Don’t think we’ll be going out for the nest few days, so stay at home and enjoy my last week off work.

Our Quality Time (2010-02-12 15:21)

As predicted in my last blog, we haven’t been out together due to cycle 6.

Yesterday Michelle got up for a drink and then went back to bed until 2.30pm.
She still hasn’t actually been sick, but still feels sick so the tablets must be working.
I put a stew in the slow cooker( my favourite new toy) and it was ready for Michelle to down two bowls of
it with dumplings.
We both had an early night and she slept really well, so well that she snored continuously for an hour, and
to prove it to her I recorded it on my phone to play back to her, to which she said ” I must of been tired”
It’s now Friday 12TH February 2010 and the end of week three of my time off work.
It’s flown by so fast and I have one more week off, all next week.
Well I was supposed to go back on the Friday, but that would spoil the week so booked it off as holiday.
It’s been so nice having quality time off to be with Michelle, and don’t want to go back to work now :(
I went to the GP’s today as he wanted to retake my blood pressure, last time it was 130/113 and this time
it was 130/101 so I’ve got to go back on Monday to have a small box fitted that traces your blood pressure
for 24 hours.
After the doctor’s I went over to Coventry to pick up a favour that Nino had done me from Kenilworth
Printers.
Coventry was my delivery area for 8 years up until last year, and I made some great friends on that route
and have always kept in contact with Nino so it was really nice to see him again.
So nice to get out of the house for me, although it did still involve cancer talk.
86
On the way back home I called in the chip shop to pick up Michelle her favourite of chips, sausage and peas
( sorry if your on a diet :) lol)
She ate most of them and went hot, like she usually does, but five minutes of taking her bandanna off soon
cools her down.
She told me that the district nurse had been to give her injection to prevent her from getting an infection
again.
Michelle is now sat watching re re re re runs of X-Factor etc, everything she’s seen 100 times before, but
she’s happy and that’s all that matters.
I’m hoping we can make the most of next week, just depends on how she’s feeling.
Just want to make the most of our last week together whilst I’m off work.

Double Doctors Date (2010-02-15 18:08)

The weekend was quiet with Michelle feeling rough still, so I bought her some roses, chocolates and wine for
Valentines day to cheer her up.
She bought me a bottle of cider, not her fault though because she hadn’t been out.
We stayed in and watched dvd’s and we both loved it, followed by Sunday lunch that I’d cooked.
Today started my last week off work and a double visit to the doctors for us both.
I had to go to have a cuff and box fitted to take my blood pressure over 24 hours.
Michelle had to go as yesterday her whole body started to get covered in a rash and sores, it looked like
chicken pocks or German measles.
Although it may of been her eczema, it turned out to be a skin infection caused by chemo, so more tablets
and bath additive.
So we’ve both stayed in today, me feeling sorry for myself as this bloody box keeps inflating the cuff every
20 Min’s, Michelle said ”try moaning with what I have to put up with” and to be honest she was so so right,
I’ve got this for 24 hours and she’s had months of shit to deal with.
I’ve now come to bed to watch TV and Michelle is happy to be alone down stairs away from my moaning !
We’ve both agreed that after I’ve had it took off in the morning we’re going to make the most of the day

Unconditional Love (2010-02-16 17:29)

Sometimes life is hard enough, with it’s endless surprises and twists and turns, but there will always something
just around the corner to make life better or worse, it’s a learning curve that will last a life time.
I went to the doctors today to have that cuff and box removed, in and out in two minuites.
Then back home where Michelle was dressed and we were both ready to enjoy the day.
She was feeling better so offered to take her out for lunch and shopping, as you can imagine she jumped at
the chance.
So it was off to the bank first, when I managed to park because I think every single blue badge holder was
out shopping today.
I got back in the car and Matt rang, so passed the phone to Michelle as I was driving.
” Hold on and don’t get upset, we’ll be there in a couple of minuites” I heard her say to him.
We were only down the road from his new flat so spun around and headed there.
When we got there he was crying his eyes out and telling us the story of how he’s paid his girlfriends bills
with his wages and she was due to pay the rent today, but woke up and said that she wanted to leave and
walked out the door.
So there he was with no money for the rent, and not even milk to make his mum a drink.
87
Your children come with unconditional love, so I went to the shops to fill his cupboards and bought him
something to eat back for lunch.
Whilst I’d gone Michelle had hoovered up and put his washing in the machine, becuase he didn’t know how
to use it!
After a chat and some advise we left him with the knowledge that we’re never far away and he’ll learn his
lessons along the way, with a little help from us:)
I didn’t want Michelle to get upset so just went along with what she wanted.
After the panic and tears we headed off shopping but still with him in our thoughts, and a bit of shopping
did Michelle the world of good.
No time left then for going out to eat, so headed off food shopping and back to mix pancakes for tea.
I always print our blog out to save a hard copy of it, just in case it gets lost on the internet.
So hopefully one day whoever reads this will look back at various things that have happened along our roller
coater journey and say ” I remember that”, or ”Did I really do that” and learn by our lessons of life.
But none us of will ever stop learning...............

Chicken Pox! (2010-02-18 09:50)

Yesterday started off as any normal day, Michelle taking her tablets, coffee and ciggy to get the day started.
Me getting my 1/2 cup of tea (Michelle has NEVER filled up a cup yet in 15 years!)
So our plan today was going well so far, we picked my mum up at 10.30am and called into Jayne’s to pick a
TV up for Leeann and then drove to Loughborough to Leeann’s new flat.
I was surprised how nice it was and she’d got most things sorted herself, but she needed some blinds for her
windows.
So I measured up and took Michelle, mum & Leeann to Coalville to pick some blinds for her, to be paid for
by the bank of dad :)
In one shop, out the next, back in the first shop and we eventually got her sorted.
Nipped in to the florist where Michelle picked some flowers for a birthday present and then it was a quick
dash back to Loughborough to get Leeann to work for 1pm.
So then we set off to drop my mum back home, Michelle had her eyes closed and said she felt tired.
On the way back my mum(Joyce) asked if we wanted to go back to her house for something to eat, but it
was one of Michelle’s worst nightmare food....warm salmon.
Her other nightmare foods include prawns( although never tasted she said they look like slugs) fruit salad
and melon.
All of a sudden Michelle woke from her sleep(?!) and piped up ” Do you fancy going to the carvery Joyce?”
Hold on, a minute a go you were feeling poorly and tired and now your wide awake and hungry!
So doing a U turn we headed to the Toby in Loughborough.
Michelle managed a full roast with turkey and beef, not a big Yorkshire pudding though because as Michelle
explained ” It takes too much room up on your plate and you can’t fit much else on”
For a moment I thought she was full, but how foolish of me!
Cheesecake and ice cream followed by a big sigh and I knew she was done.
Dropped mum off at home and headed back to our house.
I had to phone Kay about some insurance thing Tracy had sorted out for me, and whilst on the phone she
asked about Michelle, and I told her about her rash and that the GP had said it was a reaction to chemo.
She thought I should phone the hospital ward just to be on the safe side.
So I did and guess what? .........can you bring her in now for us to have a look at her?
In the car and off to Leicester Royal AGAIN with Michelle moaning that she’s not stopping in again and me
joking that I’d have the TV remote to myself again.
When we arrived we were sent to a small room and waited about 20 minutes and a doctor came and had a
88
look at Michelle.
”I can’t really be sure” he said ”It could be a number of things, probably viral”
He said they needed to take a swab of her skin and blood test.
Then the door opened and the doctor that had admitted Michelle for her chest infection came in, just to see
the other doctor.
” Have a look at this lady and see what you think” the first doctor said.
After having a quick look her said, ” It looks very much like chicken pox”
The first doctor replied ” Yes that’s what I thought”
Bloody liar! 2 minutes a go her wasn’t sure but now he knows it’s chicken pox too!!
I was given a prescription to take to the hospital pharmacy to get Michelle’s 7 Day’s worth of tablets.
It must all be in your mind because I was starting to itch now!
And when I got back to the day ward there was Michelle on her own with the last nurse left on shift having
her bloods taken.
And of course Michelle being Michelle said to the nurse ” Can you have a look at my husbands skin because
he’s started itching now”
She had a quick look and after a few ” Oh yes” and um’s and ah’s she told me to go see my doctor.
It’s now the next day and I’ve got no sign of any rash but still feel itchy, maybe it’s the thought of going
back to work on Monday that’s doing it.
Michelle was awake most of the night and she thinks it’s the tablets fault, although she did manage to get
up in the night and eat three pork pies.
I’ve just phoned the surgery to cancel her appointment tomorrow and seeing as she can’t go out, it’s going
to be a lazy day in doors for us both.

Hibernation (2010-02-19 14:51)

I’ve got into a habit of waking up at 4am and going to the toilet with my mobile to check emails and texts
etc.
So when I woke this morning I was shocked to read a text and updated blog from our virtual friends saying
that he’d been taken into hospital via 999!
We’ve caught up with them later today and he’s staying in again tonight :(
Apart from that we’ve got nothing to report really, we’re just hibernating right now and the medication
seems to be doing Michelle well.
I’ve been out once yesterday to get Michelle a few things and just nipped to the local shop this afternoon.
Michelle is a bit frustrated because she was starting to feel well again and now she can’t go out, plus I’m
back at work on Monday so she’s not looking forward to being on her own again.
Yesterday the snow came down heavy again and covered everywhere, and it’s forecast more for this weekend.
And when I start to blog about the weather I know it’s time to go!!

Taking Things For Granted (2010-02-20 17:12)

We both woke about 9am this morning, Michelle got up and I lazed in bed watching TV until 2pm (can’t
remember the last time I did that)
I got into the shower and thought to myself that this morning was wasted, time that we’ll never get back
and that we must make the most of our time.
There was a knock at the door and it Janette from across the road, Michelle answered the door, and she was
here to say that her husband Mick had been admitted to hospital with a heart attack.
89
He’d called round last week to ask if he could leave his van on our drive until he sold it, and that was fine,
but she said he was worried now how long it would be there for.
That was the least of his problems, so we told Janette to tell him not to worry.
Mick is 53 years old and never stops, up until last year he owned his own double glazing company (he fitted
our windows) and is a lovely bloke that would do anything to help if he could.
You never know in this life what is round the corner, and it was a shock for me.
It’s now time to start looking after myself I think.
I know it’s not always practical to be ’on the up’ and run around doing stuff but I felt in some weird way
that I’d let Michelle down this morning and we’d spend another day watching TV, I don’t want to slip into
the routine again of taking things for granted.
So I got dressed and went down stairs to announce that I was going to take her out, her chicken pox is now
past the contagious stage so we’d be OK.
We got in the car and headed off to Leicester where Michelle wanted some new jeans, thin strapped nightie,
so it wouldn’t make her itch so much at night, and some new jumpers to keep her warm.
She picked what she wanted and got her purse out, but this was my treat for my lovely brave wife.
She then wanted to get some new bedding, but didn’t know if she felt like it.
I knew what was up with her, she was hungry, so off to McDonald’s and I had to laugh at her, she was eating
like she’d been starved for a week :)
So we went to Dunhelm’s in Coalville for her new bedding, picked some beers up(I’ll start my new being
good regime on Monday!) lottery tickets and a paper.
Now home and within hour an hour the new bedding is on and we’re getting ready to settle down and watch
her new Saturday night favourite of ’Take Me Out’ with Paddy McGuinness.

1st Day Back At Work (2010-02-22 18:51)

After 4 weeks of relaxing, being with Michelle and laughing it was back to earth with a bump today with
my first day back at work.
The alarm went off at 4am but I knew it was going to because I’d been watching the clock all night and
couldn’t sleep just like the first day back after the big summer holidays.
Even after just 4 weeks there were new rules and regulations to abide by :)
Along with the countless questions about Michelle,which was nice because it showed
that everyone cares, but got a bit much after a while.
I phoned Michelle at 10am and no answer so tried again at 10.30am and she’d just got up,having a coffee
with Lucy on her knee, I was parked up on my break in Chesterfield:(
I got home at 2.30pm and picked Michelle up to do the food shopping,she used to hate the food shopping,
but was glad to get out of the house today.
No beer, crisps, chocolate for me today,let’s see how long it lasts! lol
I had chili & rice and Michelle had fish fingers, mash & beans which is her favourite right now.
Kay is picking her up at 8am in the morning to get to the hospital for her CT scan, I had to phone radiology
today to make sure it was OK for her to go, but as she’s hasn’t got Chicken Pox blisters she’s not contagious
now.
So it’ll be Michelle that won’t sleep tonight, I’ll sleep like a log, hopefully.

Just Got To Wait................ (2010-02-23 20:06)

Michelle’s CT scan went fine today although the early start has shattered her.
So when I got back from work she was in bed, and appeared at 5pm.
90
It’s now just a matter of waiting between now and a week tomorrow to see if the next cycles of chemo are
needed.
She automatically booked in for the next, so a call or letter will confirm a yes or no on that.
The CT today was done twice, one to check her cervical and one to check her lymphoma.
Work seems like I’ve never been away now, but always nice to get back to Michelle.
She won’t take much rocking tonight, she’ll be out like a light.

Visitors All Day Long (2010-02-27 08:51)

Here we are playing catch up again, simply because I didn’t have time this week with starting back to work.
Wednesday I went back to our GP for the results of my 24 hour blood pressure watch.
It turns out that the highest reading should be 140/90 and mine was 142/92 which to be honest didn’t seem
too bad to me, but I got the lecture about how it puts pressure on the heart etc.
So he weighed me which was 144kg or 22stone 6 pounds, that sounds a lot but I am 6’4” tall, but still over
weight.
I have now got 3 months to lose weight and go back to him, he then put the frighteners on me and said that
I’d have to go on to tablets if I hadn’t lost weight.
Friday saw an endless stream of visitors, I think they’d all been hiding around the corner to come at once!
First was Adam and Simon, they were both of work and had been paid so they called in to see their mum
for a cuppa and admire my decorating :)
Simon couldn’t believe his old room and how different it looked, so he took some pictures on his phone.
After work I went to have my hair cut and collect things from Morrison’s for our tea, Michelle wanted curried
shepherds pie.
Whilst I was in town Michelle’s brother turned up to see her with his wife Viv, they had a cuppa and some
cake and caught up with Michelle.
I then got home and Andy turned up to measure up for some fencing down one side of the garden, to keep
the neighbours jungle from coming on to our side.
After a cuppa(yes another!) and a measure he shot off just as Matt turned up to see his mum and me.
He liked his old room too, it’s the first time he’s seen it since I demolished his old room.
He picked up some washing what Michelle had done for him over a week a go, but he’d been working away
again so we hadn’t seen him.
We finally sat down about 7pm to eat and to be honest I was shattered after my first week back to work.
Michelle’s skin looks so much better now, and we still don’t know if cycle 7 is going a head yet next Wednesday,
still waiting to hear from the hospital.

Eating For England ( I’m sure I must of used this title before!) (2010-02-27 20:13)

This morning started early and healthy for a weekend.

I got up at 8am and had cereals instead of left over takeaway and went on my PC.
Michelle had a lay in and came down stairs at 11am and moaned that I hadn’t woke her because she won’t
sleep tonight.
My Internet search found a 33” door that I needed for the kitchen at B &Q,and as it wouldn’t fit in my car
I had to phone my sister to borrow her’s.
So off we set out to Leicester as Loughborough hadn’t got one in stock.
Of course when we got there Michelle spotted the burger van, and strictly speaking she isn’t allowed anything
from them, but I got her a triple bacon, sausage & egg cob.
91
I went in to B &Q to pick the door up whilst Michelle tucked into her cob,when I got back to the car she’d
finished the lot!
We got Janet’s car back and headed to Wilkinson’s for the hinges and handles, again Michelle stayed in the
car because she’s really feeling the cold lately.
I returned to the car with 3 cream cakes but no handles.
So we had to go to Loughborough Wilko’s after Michelle had eaten one cake and I’d called into McDonald’s
on the way to pick her up a chocolate milkshake!!!
After Loughborough we headed home with Michelle moaning she’d got tummy ache ( what a surprise!)
Not long after getting home Adam and his girlfriend Lizzy turned up with some tools I’d leant him last week.
Mad day of eating and shops over it was time to settle down in front of the TV, and Michelle didn’t want
anything to eat :)
I know tomorrow will see me fitting that new door or I won’t be able to rest!

2.3 March

Don’t Feel Sorry For Us (2010-03-01 19:25)

This morning was a mad phoning session for Michelle trying to sort some things out, it also saw the district
nurse turning up for pre-chemo bloods.
The first call was to the offices of ESA to see exactly where Michelle needs to send her next sick note to.
The phone was answered by an abrupt man who told her to wait whilst he found out.
After looking at Michelle’s file,she said he came back on to the phone a different patronising and sickly sweet
person to say:
” Oh I’m so sorry, but in your situation you don’t need to send us anymore sick notes, and hope you have a
nice rest of the day”
We’re not looking for pity, just bloody answers thank you!
Michelle seems to remember her GP saying that he didn’t think she’d need to send anymore sick notes to
them.
The second call was to Linda Beck at Leicester Royal, who is a lymphoma nurse and is so lovely and can’t
do enough to help.
Michelle wanted to know what was happening about her chemo on Wednesday, it turns out that she just
turns up on Wednesday at 9am to see her consultant as normal and then he’ll look at the CT scan and decide
then and there if she’s going to have cycle 7 ?!!
She also said that she was very surprised that the hospital didn’t keep her in when they found out she’d got
chicken pox because it can cause serious complications, but maybe they were short on beds that day!
So what’s it to be? So serious that they send you home because of no bed?
The way they plan your chemo is a weird way of doing it I thought as she may go 15 miles to the hospital
to be told she doesn’t need cycle 7 and send her home.
Michelle is now on a downer and worried whether she’ll be having chemo or not, it’s all the usual waiting
and not knowing.
The rest of the calls were to Kay and my work to say that we don’t know anything but please be on standby.
For one Kay needs to plan her own day on Wednesday and I need to let work know so that if she does have
chemo I’ll be off work again from Thursday......never simple is it?
After I’d finished work this afternoon I decided to take Michelle out shopping to cheer her up a bit and take
her mind off the hospital, I hope it worked because we had a few giggles in the car.

92
The Night Before The Not Knowing (2010-03-02 19:10)

Nothing really exciting to report today, just been a busy day and has flown by.
I had a heavy day at work delivering 12 tonne of paper, then straight to Morrison’s to do some food shopping.
When I arrived home the single bed for the 2ND spare room that I decorated had finally arrived so I ended
putting that up and within the hour Michelle had got the sheets and quilt on and generally making it pretty.
She had an early start with the bed turning up at 7.30am when she was in bed!
Then Jayne paid her usual Tuesday visit for a coffee and catch up.
It’s now the night before chemo, or not as the case may be!
Kay is picking her up at 8am so they get there for the 9am appointment, Kay’s going to phone me as soon
as they get out of the consultant’s room so I can arrange time off if needs be.
I’ve got to go back to the GP’s tomorrow for an ECG test which he ordered with the nurse, something I
could do without right now to be honest.
So it’ll be a restless night for us both, although after getting up at 4am for work again I can feel my eyes
closing already.

Michelle is Terminal.......or is she? (2010-03-04 17:07)

We have just been through the worst 24 hours of our lives

Kay and Michelle got to the hospital for 8.50am and I was waiting for a text to say whether she needed cycle
7 or not, and was keeping my fingers crossed that she didn’t.
At about 10.15am on Wednesday 3RD March 2010 I was on my break in the lorry and my mobile rang,
Kay’s number came up and her exact words word:
” Are you driving?” ”Dr Gardner wants to have a word with you”
And I knew straight away that it couldn’t be good news if he wanted to talk.
” Hello Mr Hooper” He said ” I’ve looked at your wife’s CT scan and I’m afraid that I have some bad news
for you” and I could feel my whole body getting warmer.
” I’m afraid that the cancer has spread to the nodes in her lungs, and unfortunately there is no further
treatment available for that”
i remember just saying yes and no to everything and asked why it couldn’t be treated but didn’t really listen
to the answer.
I half expected Kay to come back on the phone but it when dead, and I sat there numb on my own and not
knowing what to do.
After a while I got a call back from Kay who handed the phone to Michelle who was sobbing her heart out
and saying to me ” I don’t want to go yet, I’m not ready,I don’t want to leave you and the boys on your own”
I cried my heart out on the phone and abandoned my work and drove straight back to base crying still, and
it took what felt like a lifetime to get back.
I dropped my lorry off and headed home, to see Michelle sat on the sofa crying her eyes out, and I put my
arms around her and we had the biggest crying session that I think we’ve ever had in our life.
And that’s when I really got the full story of what happened, and on came my guilt that I didn’t go with
her and wasn’t with my wife to support her.
Michelle’s CT scan was last week and the consultants have a meeting every Tuesday to discuss the cases,
Michelle’s case wasn’t on the list so no one looked at her scans or discussed her situation and then the
meeting ran out of time.
So the scan was only looked at yesterday morning and Linda, her favourite lymphoma nurse knew nothing
of the results but was there in the room.
When Michelle was told the news Linda was visibly shocked and started crying, along with Kay and Michelle.
Afterwards Linda, Kay & Michelle went into a side room to take in the news that the consultant thought
93
that the cancer had spread from her cervical area and therefore no further treatment was available.
Michelle said to Linda that she’d try anything, new drugs, alternatives etc if it gave her a few more years,
that’s when Linda said to her:
” Michelle it’ll be months rather than years”
HERE WAS MY WIFE BEING TOLD SHE HAD UNTREATABLE CANCER WITH MONTHS TO LIVE.
Kay told me that the consultant was going to call me back in the afternoon after he’d spoken to another
oncologist.
My mobile rang whilst all three was us were sat in the living room, and I put it on hands free, it was Dr.
Gardner again.
” Hello Mr. Hooper, I spoke with you earlier today about your wife” he said
” The news is not as dark as it was this morning, I have spoken to an oncologist and he thinks that it might of
spread from Michelle’s lymphoma, and if that is the case then we can offer her some stronger chemotherapy
drugs, but she’d not out of the woods yet. We need to arrange a PET scan and look at the results of that”
We all sat there open mouthed with the thought that there may be a small chance of treatment.
And then started to ask each other questions like:
Why wasn’t the scan looked at and discussed in the meeting?
Why did he defiantly say there was no treatment available?
Why did Linda make such a bold and crushing statement?
Why did he defiantly say it was spread from the cervix if he wasn’t sure?
And a 100 other questions I can’t remember.
Later that day Linda phoned up to ask how we were and to repeat the news we’d been given on the phone
earlier, she apologised about our ’Roller coaster of a day’
Were they back tracking by any chance? Had someone made a wrong and rash decision?
This morning my wife is terminal and this afternoon she may not be?
Needless to say, Michelle and I, Kay and Tracy never got any sleep at all, in fact Tracy didn’t go to bed until
6.30am this morning.
We lay in bed this morning with Michelle crying and saying that she didn’t want to leave me, and if I found
someone else to make sure they looked after the dogs.
This was a complete mind bender for us all.
She went out into the garden and came back in crying and said;
” What if I don’t see my garden again, I’ll be gone and you’ll all be here on your own”
We still don’t know what to think or expect, we’re waiting for a PET scan appointment because it goes to
another Leicester hospital every Monday, so we’re hoping for this Monday or next Monday at the latest.
and we have an appointment with oncology next Thursday.
So at this moment in time we don’t know if Michelle is terminal with cancer spread from her cervix or
whether she is treatable with cancer spread from her lymphoma.
We have SEVEN DAYS to wait now, and it’ll be the longest seven days of our life.
I don’t know how I’d cope without Michelle and don’t want her to go, I love her to bits and she’s not ready
to go yet, we are now in the hands of the gods and the NHS.

Back On The Ride (2010-03-05 18:05)

Michelle woke up yesterday, as did I rather numb still but knew we had to get back on the roller coaster and
ride it once again.
We felt a little better knowing that there may be some hope that the consultants original diagnosis may have
been wrong.
Our GP Dr. Lewis called yesterday and he’s been fantastic and so supportive, he was of the opinion that
the hospital has acted in a very unprofessional way, and his feelings were that the spread to the lungs may
94
be from the lymphoma, which would mean treatment would still be available.
Whilst he was here Kay and her husband Tracy turned up to take us out for lunch.
I introduced Kay to DR Lewis and she thought he was lovely too.
We headed off to this place (www.the-grey-lady.co.uk) it’s just had a one million pound refit and was lovely.
Michelle even had posh fish finger sandwich’s as a starter! lol
Today we were determined to get out and about again to make the most of the day.
So off to Leicester where Michelle bought me some new jeans and a top, as we’re going out for a meal with
her other brother Shaun and his wife Viv tomorrow.
Whilst in Leicester, after Kay mentioned yesterday she liked Indian sweets, we headed to the Melton Road
area to pick her some up, although I think I may of gone over the top as I got her 2KG of the stuff!
Michelle’s made a few heartbreaking comments over the last couple of day about ’If you find someone else
make sure they take care of the dogs too’ and ’make sure you look after the boys and don’t sell the house
and move back in to yours mums’
Things she’s been thinking about, just like when she goes to the dustbin and comes back with tears in her
eyes and said ” I look at the bin and think that I may not ever see it again”
She’s also said that she looks around at things more now, taking them in and doesn’t want to miss anything.
We’re not going to let this bloody cancer beat us until the last day, we’re still crying and laughing as we take
the ride but hopefully making the most of everything that we’ve taken for granted before whilst we can.
We’ve had great support over the last few days, from friends, family, work mates and virtual friends ( you
know those people that really know what it’s like for us.....you all know who you are!)
We’d like to say a massive thank you to every single one of you, we love you all.

Posh Lunch (2010-03-06 18:45)

Today we felt like royalty as Michelle’s brother and his wife Viv took us out for lunch.
They arrived at 11.30am and wouldn’t tell us where we were going, we got in their car and set off up the
M1.
We came off at Junction 20 for Lutterworth and about two miles down the road we came to the entrance
which was a massive driveway up to the hotel.
We were gobsmacked when we saw the hotel as we pulled into the car park.
Upon arrival we went through the reception with a the biggest open fire I think I’ve ever seen, past some
very posh rooms with people having drinks, and ended up in the orangery.
We had some drinks and a while later our table was ready and the waiter even took our drinks to the table
for us!
This was nothing like we’d ever been to before and a completely new experience for me and Michelle.
The hotel, surroundings and food were second to none, I could get used to this every day :)
www.kilworthhouse.co.uk (Have a look at the website and you’ll all see what I mean.)
On the way back, Michelle became uncomfortable because of the combination of new jeans, being sat upright
for so long and all the food she’d eaten.
So she was sat in the back seat with me and her legs up to take the pressure off her tummy.
When we got home she went straight up stairs and took her jeans off, and I gave her 2 co-codamol tablets
which after taking one she was sick straight after.
She’s now still in bed, but to be fair she hasn’t really stopped since Wednesday.
There was the hospital on Wednesday, then a meal out with Kay & Tracy on Thursday, out shopping with
me Friday and then today so i think it’s all caught up with her a bit.
No calls or letter to say she’s having a PET scan this Monday, so it’ll be the Monday after now.
Just hope it’s Michelle’s own consultant DR. Simmonds that we see on Thursday.

95
Taking Our Time & Butterflies (2010-03-08 16:45)

Yesterday Kay came to the house with her children Christopher and Maria and suggested a walk around
Bradgate Park then on for something to eat.
So off we set on a sunny but chilly afternoon and enjoyed the fresh air, although I think it’s the furthest I’ve
ever pushed Michelle in the chair.
After blowing the cobwebs away we set off for the carvery in Loughborough making it eating out the fourth
day in a row!
Then Kay and the kids came back to our house for a coffee and that was then end of a nice Sunday.
This morning I woke up with butterflies in my stomach thinking about Thursday, it was just churning over
and over.
Michelle was thinking about it too and we went over it all again what the consultant and nurse had said, as
well as our GP’s comments and tried to work out what the out come might be on Thursday, but you can’t
second guess.
We decided to go out because Michelle wanted a hanging basket for the front of the house, we tried a new
garden centre but didn’t like it so drove to B &Q.
On the way we spotted a road side cafe and I got Michelle a full breakfast cob which she soon wolfed down
but spilling egg and beans all over her coat and jeans, when we got to B &Q she looked a right tramp :) but
she said it was my fault because I’d had beans put on it?!?! lol
Then Morrison’s on the way back home to pick up a few bits and it feels like another day has flown by.
Although today I made the point of doing everything slowly, we all usually rush around like headless chickens
but today I wanted to take everything in for some reason and not trying to think that we’d got to do everything
at 100MPH.

Morning Sickness (2010-03-10 12:20)

This has been the longest week of our lifes so far, and each day that gets nearer to Thursday is getting worse.
Tuesday morning I woke up with horrible visions in my head that I don’t even want to write down, and that
was accompanied by a sick feeling in my stomach.
Michelle and I agree that the mornings are always the worst and yesterday we just had to get out of the
house.
My head was so full of stuff it felt like it was going to burst.
So off we went a drive round and ended up at Woodlands garden centre, no disabled bays so we did a full
circle of the really full car park and then came across one outside the door.
Michelle was like a kid in a sweet shop, she loves her flowers and garden.
On the way back we weren’t far from Adam’s new house that he is renting in Ibstock, so we gave him a call
and he’d just finished work so we called to see him.
Adam’s my eldest son and it was weird to see him so grown up and living on his own.
Tuesday night Tracy turned up with his two kids to take us to meet Shaun, Viv and Kay and go out for a
curry.
It was an old pub in Shepshed that Michelle, her brothers and dad used to go in all the time when they were
younger and it was now an Indian resturant.
The meal was lovely, but over the last few days Michelle’s lymphoma has been hurting if she sits upright for
too long, and I looked across the table to see her in tears from the pain.
She was wriggling about to try and get comfy and didn’t want to spoil the night for everyone else, typical
Michelle.
Luckily Kay had two paracetamol on her bag and gave them to Michelle, and she was then more comfortable.
Michelle, Kay, Viv and the kids headed back to Tracy & Kays house whilst Tracy, Shaun & I sorted the bill
96
out.
When we got back to Tracy’s house Michelle was on the sofa with her feet up and a cover on her thanks to
Kay, she doesn’t half look after Michelle and has been an absolute god send to Michelle and me.
When we got back home Michelle had a bath and went off to bed whilst I stayed up watching TV.
I was in one of those moods where I didn’t want to sleep or got to bed, so I watched loads of Sky+ programmes
with Lucy lay on my stomach.
It was 4.45am when I eventually ventured to bed to find Michelle fast asleep with the bedroom light on, she
won’t sleep in the dark if I’m down stairs and she’s been like that ever since I’ve know her :)
Waking up about 9.30am was the same as yesterday with that sick feeling and seeing bad things in my mind,
I hate it but god only know what it’s like for Michelle.
She shed a few tears this morning and asked the same questions over again and tried to work out what would
happen tomorrow afternoon.
Jayne’s just turned up on her usual weekly visit and I filled her in on what happened last week because
Michelle asked me to explain it for her.
They both shed a few tears and are now in the living room putting the world of hospitals to right whilst I
type this blog.
Michelle wants to go a ride out again after she’s gone, mainly to take our mind off things.
My next blog will be after our hospital visit Thursday afternoon at 3.30pm

The Longest Day Ever (2010-03-11 19:26)

The day started with the sun shining and we both woke up in a positive mood but so scared about what
today might bring.
We got ready for Kay picking us up and Michelle got upset at the thought of what was going to be said
today.
Kay arrived and off we set to Leicester, but being as it was only 1.45pm and our appointment was at 3.30pm
we decided to go to The Field Head for a drink, and of course Michelle wanted food:)
Beef curry, rice, popadoms and chips for her whilst Kay & I shared a club sandwich.
Then we set off for the dreaded appointment, and a massive car park queue.
The nearer we got to the car park the more nervous we call became and all three of us developed a cough!
My whole body was warm, Kay’s mouth was going dry and Michelle was just so nervous.
We got into the waiting room at 3.15pm ready for our 3.30pm appointment.
Kay was rocking forward and back in her chair!, my whole body was so warm and we both held Michelle’s
hand and waited for what seemed like a life time.
At 5.40pm and the last in the waiting room we were called in to see.........to our great joy, Michelle’s own
consultant DR. Symonds.
Michelle was automatically at ease with him, and the whole atmosphere was so different.
He had another lady consultant with him that was better at bringing up the CT scans on the PC.
He looked at them whilst we tried to butt in and answer questions.
He said that there were three possiblities that what he’d seen:
1) It could be secondary cancer spread from her cervical cancer but could be treated
2) It could be secondary cancer spread from her lymphoma but could be treated.
3) It could be an infection such as TB but could be treated.
Dr.Symonds that said what ever it was on Michelle’s lung it was inside and not on the outside which was
good and were VERY small, and also that he wasn’t too concerned about doing any treatment for it right
now.
He did mention that Michelle’s body seems to react better to the Platin group of chemotherapy drugs rather
that the R-CHOP that she’s just had for her lymphoma.
97
And that in any future chemo he’d use a Platin drug and some radiotherapy for her lymphoma.
He warned Michelle to watch out if she felt unwell or if her temperature was to go up to call the hospital
straight away.
I then mentioned that she’d already been in for a chest infection and chicken pox.
And then the lady doctor mentioned ”chicken pox lung” to which Dr. Symonds said:
”Good call” it may be possible that it shows the affect of your chicken pox on your lungs ( although chicken
pox must of been in her notes)so this made it possibility number 4.
At that point Kay wasn’t going to put up with us all being messed about any longer, and quite rightly
pointed out that this time last week Michelle was told that she had secondary cancer which had spread from
her cervical cancer and that she’d only got months to live and no treatment was avaliable.
Yet we come back a week later and we are told it may be something different and that it is treatable was
uncceptable to of been told such news last week.
Michelle got up off her chair and gave DR. Symonds a big hug and kiss and told him that she always feels
so much better when she knows that he is seeing her and that she thinks the world of him.
There is going to be a meeting held tomorrow where all the consultants look at scans and discuss the patients
and Dr. Symonds will be discussing Michelle and chasing up her appointment for her PET scan.
The journey home for me was one of texting and phoning everyone we knew that was waiting for news about
Michelle and everyone was so pleased.
Although we are not out of the woods and we’re still not sure what it is on the CT scan, whatever it is, it
can be treated and our outlook is far better that this time last week.

Getting On With Life (2010-03-13 16:47)

The hospital called early Friday morning and it was DR. Brown, the lady consultant that was in the meeting
yesterday.
She said that they had looked at the CT scans in a meeting this morning but still were not 100 % sure until
a PET scan had been done, although there was no date yet set for that yet.
And that DR. Symonds wants to repeat the CT scan in 4 weeks time and see Michelle 2 weeks after that
and reemphasised that there was no immediate concern about starting any treatment yet.
Later on that day Kay had a call from the hospital about arranging a date for the PET scan, this Monday
coming was fully booked but they were able to offer us an appointment at Harley Street in London!
This was still on the NHS but in Harley Street! but Michelle agreed with everyone that she wouldn’t be able
to sit up in a car for that long because of her lymphoma, so she’s going to wait the extra 5 days and have it
in Leicester a week on Monday.
Matt phoned yesterday and he’s been made redundant AGAIN for the second time with the same company.
So he’s hoping that his landlord can find someone to take over his flat now, and if he does Matt says he’s off
to live in Ibiza for the summer.
He’s been offered some DJ’ing work over there but he’s said it before so we’ll see what happens, we can see
him moving back home!
Today we took Lucy our pug to Pets At Home to buy her a new coat :)
Your allowed to take your dogs in the shop, so Lucy was sat on Michelle’s knee whilst she was in the wheel
chair.
She soon spotted the bones and I had to take the price tag off for her to eat one.
Lucy was in her element sat on Michelle’s knee eating a bone and people fussing her.
Michelle spent a fortune on Lucy today with a new bed too, and her attitude again was:
”Last week I was told I’d got months to live and then it changed again so now I’m not bothered about money,
I’m just enjoying myself again”
Everyone says how well she looks and she’s enjoying her break from treatment for now.
98
Nothing planned for the rest of today but all the family are off to Shaun & Viv’s tomorrow for some yummy
food as it’s Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day 2010 (2010-03-14 19:52)

The day started with a call into Morrison’s to pick up some cheeses and whiskey to take to Shaun & Viv’s.
Then pick my mum up on the way to give her some flowers and a card and then we all headed off to Diesworth.
Michelle’s mum was there and nice to see Sheila because we hadn’t seen her for weeks since Michelle ended
up in hospital with her chest infection.
Viv had put on some fantastic food and Tracy was his usual jokey self and got me to bid on his iPhone on
EBay, well I say bid but he borrowed my phone and put me down for £255 but luckily I got outbid.
Kay was ill so she didn’t make it, which was a shame and we missed her.
Her mum and dad were there though and a lot of the Morris family ( Michelle’s maiden name)
We set off home about 5pm as Michelle was getting tired, although the Tia Maria couldn’t of helped lol.
And Simon & Danni were coming to see Michelle after they had finished work.
Matt was flued up so he didn’t come and Adam was in Cambridge with the Army cadets so we missed him
too.
Simon & Danni came with flowers, Corkeys and a candle and as usual for Simon some lovely heart felt writing
in Michelle’s card thanking her for looking after him and bringing him up in life.
8pm bath for Michelle and don’t think we’ll both be late to bed tonight.

PET Scan (2010-03-17 15:05)

Yesterday we got our date through for Michelle’s PET scan, and it’s next Monday 22ND March at 8.10am.
The whole process takes two hours in a mobile in the hospital grounds.
We were supposed to have an appointment with DR. Kennendy today, but that was cancelled because he
wouldn’t have been able to tell us anymore before the scan.
So that’s been put back to Wednesday 24TH March because the PET scan results come through in 48 hours,
so that’s another nerve racking day.
I was woken up at 3am this morning to a chomping sound in bed, and I opened my eyes to see Michelle sat
up in bed eating a bowl of cornflakes!
She’d already eaten three pork pies and was still hungry,I still don’t know where she puts it all :)
Adam is here with us today because he needs a lift to pick up his girlfriends car because he’s left it until the
last minute to MOT his car and it needs repairs.
We’re still waiting for his insurance details to be added to the database so he can tax it.
Matt’s friend has agreed to take over his flat from him, so he’s booked his single ticket to spend the summer
in Ibiza with Millie and flies out on 27TH April.
She’s selling her car and he’s selling his CD decks and we’ll wait to see where he lands up at the end of the
season......back home?!
We’re off out for lunch with Tracy & Kay tomorrow after a walk around Bradgate Park if the weather is fine.
Chilling out day today and thinking of our friends who are starting chemo again today for the second time.
It works out that when they have a break, Michelle’s on chemo and visa versa.
Michelle is happy that because she’s not on chemo she’s finding that she’s able to do more things around
the house and potter around the garden, but every now and again she keeps asking about her PET scan and
hopes the results are good.

99
A Day To Remember (2010-03-20 14:09)

Whatever has happened over the last few days has gone completely out of my mind after today.
This morning we were told to get to Tracy & Kay’s for 9.45am,and Michelle was moaning because she had
to get up early and wanted to rest.
But we got to their house bang on time and were met by Tracy at the door
We had time for a quick coffee and then Tracy was ushering us out of the door at a quick pace?
After he nearly reversed into my car we were off!
We ended up in a small village called Long Watton, not far from Shepshed and to a pub which is run by and
Iranian named Jad.
We’ve met him before but when he ran another pub,he seemed to be doing well,after all his Maserati sports
car was parked outside.
About 10Min’s after getting out of the car and meeting Jad there was a noise from the sky getting closer to
the pub,then out of no where this helicopter landed into a purpose built heli-pad in the garden.
Out got the pilot who was Colin Bodill ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colin Bodill)and he holds 8 world
records for flying!
Then three more men,one is the owner of Everyman Racing and two other construction company boss’s.
We went inside the pub to be met by bucks fizz and breakfast,we were in another world.
All of the men were so down to earth and we all got on very well,hearing their stories of flying etc.
After breakfast the pilot offered us a flight in the helicopter and we jumped at the chance.
I had to sit in the back and it was a bit of a squeeze to be honest,Michelle sat next to Colin the pilot and
Maria was in the back with me.
We put on our head sets and Colin spoke to air traffic control at East Midlands Airport for permission to
take off.
We quickly lifted off the ground and were hovering over the M1 motorway,taking in Loughborough and
Shepshed,what an amazing feeling it was.
Our stomachs went a little funny during a few turns and I felt quite emotional knowing that Tracy had
arranged this all for us.
We had to hover over a field on the way back in because of the wind and land from a different direction, and
I could see people in their gardens watching and I felt so special.
As we landed Colin told air traffic control he’d be taking off again in 10min’s after his friend’s had come out
of the pub.
Of course by this time Tracy had ordered bottles of red wine,so the others were happy to stay a while longer.
After about half an hour we were ready to go because Michelle had a busy day yesterday and was getting
tired.
We shook every one’s hand and thanked them so much,because this is a special day that we’ll remember
forever.
As we were getting into Kay’s car the four came out of the pub and headed towards the helicopter and left
us thinking ’What a life that would be to lead every day’
We’re now back home and back to reality especially when Kay reminded us that she’ll pick us up at 7.30am
to take us for the PET scan.
Cancer might be a priority on Monday but just for today we’ve forgotten about it and lived a dream life for
a day.
We owe so much thanks to Tracy & Kay for organising today and we love them both.

100
Black Plant Pot (2010-03-21 17:45)

Back down to earth today and Michelle wanted to look for a BIG black plant pot to put under the front
window.
We set out but on the way passed McDonald’s and I had to call in the drive through to get Michelle a Big
Mac Meal with banana milkshake(her latest favourite) and then it was off to Loughborough.
B &Q,Wilkos,Poundland and Focus and still no look so we were about to head home when she spotted a
burger van in B &Q’s car park, so bacon and egg cob with brown sauce it was for her!
When we got home I went on every website to look for a black pot but they were either too expensive or too
small, so after a bit of research we’ve decided to get a BIG plastic terracotta coloured one and paint it,oh
our rock and roll lifestyle never ends lol.
Michelle now wants mash,fish fingers and beans! OMG I think she needs worming to be honest.
It’ll be bed early tonight as we’re up for Kay picking us up at 7.30am for Michelle’s PET scan and then the
wait until Wednesday for(hopefully)the results.

Finally PET Scan Day (2010-03-22 17:08)

The day had finally arrived for Michelle’s PET scan at Glenfield hospital.
We woke up at 6.30am and it felt like the middle of the night for me,how I’m used to getting up for work at
4am I’ll never know.
Kay was picking us up at 7.30am so we waited outside so we could get straight away and miss any traffic on
the way.
It came to 7.45am and Kay hadn’t turned up and my mobile wouldn’t work so couldn’t call her.
So in a panic we set off and tried to phone her on the way, we got 200yards down the road and she was
coming the other way.
She dived into our car and we were off....................
On the way we hit traffic and then I’d forgotten the map to tell us where the mobile unit was in the grounds
of the hospital, after asking for directions we finally found it and Kay walked Michelle over.
15 Min’s later Kay came back and we’d got two hours to kill but we both didn’t know what to do,so I just
drove and we chatted.
I arrived at a pub in Loughborough hoping it would be open for a coffee,but it was 9am and so funny seeing
Kay rattling the door of a pub at 9am in the morning!
We headed back to Leicester and on the way chatting about our feelings of what had happened over the last
10 months because we’d never really been alone without Michelle before.
We got back to the hospital, had a hot chocolate and saw Michelle coming out of the mobile unit and headed
to pick her up.
She had a big smile on her face and she looked relieved it was all over.
She had a little back ache from laying on her back and she said that the machine came over the top of her
very slowly and stopped now and again to take the images.
Off to Shepshed and Kim’s cafe for a full English breakfast, stopping off on the way to pick Kay’s car up
and let the dogs out.
2 sausage,two eggs,bacon,beans,mushrooms,fried bread,toast and coffee........and guess who finished first? :)
Kay had to head back to the office so we set off back home with full stomachs and feeling really tired,then
spent the afternoon chilling out on the sofa.
Michelle is now watching a Sky programme she’d recorded about Jade Goody,I honestly don’t know how she
can watch that.
If I see her in the paper I have to turn the page,it’s not because I dislike her it’s because she died of cervical
cancer and I can’t handle that bit.
101
Now it’s a wait until Wednesday to see DR.Kennedy and fingers crossed we’ll find out the results of the PET
scan.
What ever the results are we can then put our life back on track and arrange things and deal with life
again,until then our life seems to be on hold.

My Old Michelle, Curtains & Pork Pies (2010-03-23 20:25)

Today started with the sun shining and having a relaxing day and doing nothing.
Kay & Tracy wanted to go out for a meal at 4pm but I think things have caught up with Michelle
over the last week so had to let them down.
I drove Adam’s car down to put on my mum’s drive until he sells it and Jayne was there doing her hair,
then Adam dropped me back home and we waited for Jayne and her usual Tuesday visit.
After a coffee and catch up Jayne & Adam went and I asked Michelle what she wanted to do now.
She said she wanted to relax and I knew that wasn’t true, she wanted to go out.
She was low on pork pies and wanted to get the Easter eggs whilst Morrison’s stlll had them for sale at
95p each.
After that she wanted to go to Dunhelm Mill and we used our blue badge to park right outside.
We came out with new blinds for the landing upstairs and downstairs and new curtains for the bedroom.
And in true Michelle style she moaned about how much she’d spent !!!
Back home and she’d put the curtains within the hour and I was so proud of her and could see my old
Michelle coming back,it didn’t even feel like she’d got cancer anymore.
But in reality it’s the day before our PET scan results and we are both nervous and want to get the results
out of the way and know once and for all
Sleepless night ahead and early start ahead now and fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Mixed Emotions (2010-03-24 17:26)

Up early today for the results of Monday’s PET scan.

Kay arrived at 7.45am and we set straight off to Leicester Royal hospital.
As usual we were all nervous but in good spirits and just wanted to get it out of the way now.
We started off by Michelle having a blood test and seeing some friends she’d made when she was having
chemo.
One lady was in remission and didn’t need to come back for four months,so Michelle was so pleased for her.
I looked around the room and don’t usually take much interest who’s there but for some reason today I
did,there was a man sat on his own with a wholly hat on and he looked really fragile and ill,others that you
could tell had finished chemo and their hair was growing back.
Then we saw Linda Beck the lymphoma nurse and she asked how we’d got on with DR. Symonds,and we
told her that we didn’t want to see the consultant that gave us bad news last time so she said she sort it and
get us to see Professor Dyer and is the top man and so nice.
It came to 10am and we were now an hour behind and all three of us started getting more nervous,then
Professor Dyer came around the corner and pointed to Michelle and straight away shook our hands and
showed us to his room.
Linda was in there and Michelle said ”Oh Linda it’s always bad news when your in the room” and Linda
asked if Michelle wanted her to leave,but Michelle didn’t mean it like that and asked her to stay.
Professor Dyer put the PET scan on to the screen and pointed out the nodes in Michelle’s lungs and said to
her ”It’s not good news Michelle,they have grown bigger but we’re still not sure what they are”
102
I’m now wondering why this so called super great PET scan that everyone was raving about hasn’t produced
the answers we were looking for.
He went on to say that although her lymphoma was still a mass in her stomach the PET scan showed that
the glucose had not shown up bright and therefore it was not cancerous.
On a PET scan the liquid injected in to you goes around your body and the cancer sells take on the glucose
in the liquid and show up a bright colour on the scan.
So the mass is a form of grisle and they give you radiotherapy to shrink it so it’s not so uncomfortable when
sitting up and bending,like it does for Michelle now.
So we came out of there with a mixture of emotions and I told Linda that I was a little confused with some
answers so she took us into a side room.
She explained about the glucose test,the grisle bit and why he wants to wait 4 weeks to do another CT scan
to see if the nodes in her lungs have grown anymore and if they have she may have to have a biopsy on
them,although they still haven’t ruled out a viral infection so did some more bloods on the way out.
Michelle got upset and was crying and she’s finding it difficult to look at the positives and upsets herself by
thinking the worst.
We called into a pub for a hot chocolate and cake on the way back home,and Kay wanted to meet up with
Shaun,Viv and Michelle’s mum Sheila for a meal but Michelle wasn’t up for it and knew she’d get upset if
she saw her mum.
We got home and didn’t really speak much to each other,I think we were both still very numb about our
whole day.
Although the news about the lymphoma was fantastic it was over shadowed by the fact that we still don’t
know what it is on Michelle’s lungs and again it’s all the bloody waiting all the time,it drives you insane at
times and for me is the hardest part of this roller coaster journey.
I knew if we stayed in the house all afternoon it wouldn’t be good for either of us because we were both
trying to work out what our heads were doing.
So I suggested a drive to Loughborough just to get out,after a little cry and a hug we set off and once out
of the house our mood changed.
We went to Pet’s At Home and then Homebase where we saw a garden table and chairs set for £99 and
wasn’t sure if we’d fit it in the car so asked a member of staff for advise and told us to wait until Friday
because there is 15 % off then.
We called in to my mums house on the way back and Michelle moaned to her about my snoring and how the
light down stairs shakes when I’m in bed( a little exaggeration I think)
And we generally had a laugh and it did us the world of good.
We are back home now and both shattered and as soon as our head hits the pillow we’ll be out like a light.

Feeling A Bit Down (2010-03-25 12:53)

I woke up early this morning at 5am with a sick feeling in my stomach.

Up to now I’ve been positive for Michelle and tried not to get upset around her, and that’s why this blog is
so important for me to get things wrote down about how I feel.
I couldn’t sleep and just lay there with a thousand and one things going over and over in my head and always
coming up with the worst possible answers I can.
So I got up and went down stairs to the PC and didn’t really need to look at anything, just wanted to pass
the time.
Michelle got up about 9.30am coughing, and she’d been wheezing in the night too.
Yesterday Prof Dyer said that we should watch out for any extra coughing or phlegm
I noticed she was coughing more this more and twice bought some phlegm up, so as a caution I phone the
hospital.
103
They took Michelle’s details and symptoms and told us that a doctor will phone us back, and that’s where
we are right now waiting............
So I guess this will be a two part blog today and I’ll come back on later to fill in the missing gaps.
OK here we go with part two of today’s activity........
The hospital finally phoned back about 4 hours later this afternoon, and they always say to phone the
hospital and not the GP but when the doctor at the hospital came on he basically said ”Go and see your GP
to save you coming to hospital ”
So I made an appointment for 5.50pm with DR. Lewis, he said her blood gas was really good, couldn’t hear
anything abnormal in her chest and wrote a prescription for a general antibiotic.
Part of me is glad it’s not an infection but then part of me wishes it had been the answers to our unanswered
questions.

Visitors (2010-03-26 18:41)

I’ve got myself trapped into a situation where I am waking about 5am every morning and the first thing that
comes into my mind is the worst things that could happen to Michelle.
I don’t know where it’s come from but I’ve got to shake it off and get out of this rut.
I eventually rallied myself to showering and headed off on my own( which was really weird Michelle not being
with me)to collect a garden table & chairs from Homebase because it was 15 % off today, calling in to Tracy
& Kay’s on the way to drop off a DVD.
Once I finally managed to get the whole thing in our car, and it was a struggle,I headed back home to
Michelle.
Of course in true Michelle style it needed to be out of the box and up straight away,and then she spent the
next 20Min’s moving and positioning it until it was just right,I watched her through the patio doors and
smiled and realised why I love her so much.
Next there was no time to waste because she wanted compost from Pound Stretcher and some more plants
from Focus.
I was dragging these bags of compost on my own,and I’m used to resting them on Michelle’s wheel chair,
and she phoned and asked me to go back into Focus to pick up a parasol base.
I was hot and tired and said no but then felt guilty for letting her down :(
Got back home and then all of a sudden visitors came from no where.......
Lynne her old school friend turned up first,she’s been through bowel cancer,breast cancer and now having
tests for lung cancer.
Next was Adam and my mum along with a man who’d come to measure up for new loft insulation.
The house was buzzing, then Lynne went and we got chatting to the man measuring up and it turns out his
wife is six months into chemo for breast cancer,so there’s no getting away from it.
Last to leave was Adam and mum,so then we both planted our remaining plants and have now ordered an
Indian whilst Michelle is chatting to Jayne on the phone.
I’ve got a surprise for Michelle & Kay next Wednesday but can’t write on here what it is because they’ll
both read it and find out!

Keeping Busy (2010-03-27 18:27)

I woke early again this morning and came down stairs and on to my PC.
I decided to do a slide show for our friends wedding in May and before I
knew it, four hours had passed and Michelle came down stairs.
104
She had her tablets and a coffee and set about watering her spring hanging baskets and tubs,then I got the
hint to get showered and ready because we were off out,which I was pleased about to be honest as staying
in the house gives me too much time to think and being occupied takes my mind off things.
So it was past McDonald’s on the way but Michelle only wanted a milkshake ”because I’m putting on too
much weight” she said.
When we got to the drive through it ended up being Big Mac Meal.
We carried on to Loughborough and got a parasol base from Homebase and had a look around the plants,then
wheeled Michelle across the car park to Pet’s At Home.
Michelle found a bling bling harness for Lucy,and I did mention that it was me that took the dogs out and
I might look a burk :) but she bought it anyway!
On the way back I suggested calling in to the nursing home to see Michelle’s mum Sheila,she was a bit wary
because last time she went she ended up with a chest infection and going to hospital.
When we arrived Sheila was in the lounge watching TV,we then went into the dining room and had a cuppa
with her and a look around her room.
She looked really well today with a new jumper on and a big smile,she does love it where she is now.
Back home and it was dog walking time,I can’t do all four at once,so it was Sooty and Coco first and then
Holly and Lucy next(a deadly combination because they can’t walk in a straight line if they tried)
I walked Holly and Lucy to my mum’s house where Adam and Lizzie were with there dog,and my mum gave
Lucy some of her McDonald’s ice cream which she loved.
Then it was up the big hill of Leicester road and back home where I found Michelle still tinkering in the
garden.
All the dogs are now shattered along with me,so relaxing night watching usual rubbish TV.

Staying In (2010-03-28 19:19)

The car has only moved once today to collect alcohol from the shop and that’s it.
But the morning got off to an unusual start where we didn’t know the time.
After a few too many beers last night,although I can’t remember it turns out that I put half the clocks in
the house an hour back, a day too early and should of been forward!
So we had to turn the TV on to find out the right time,we’d got up as an old school friend of Michelle was
coming at 11am,so we cleaned the whole house and it was still only 9am!
Michelle had three big mates at school,Lynne who came Friday and another was Pat who turned up today
to see her.
They had a good old girly natter whilst I did some stuff on the PC,then Viv phoned and asked if it was OK
to visit and they came about 4pm and we had a good catch up and planned a few things for next week.
After they went I decided to cook something,and gone now are the normal days of doing things like Sunday
roast every Sunday etc because there is only the two of us,and whatever I cook it’s always far too much
because I still cook like the lads are still here.
So curried shepherds pie it is then(one of Michelle’s all time favourites)may sound weird but tastes yummy.
Michelle’s latest favourite tipple is Tia Maria although best not mixed with Amoxicillan like she did the
other day and went very light headed.
She keeps singing either ’Smelly Cat Song’ or ’Spider Pig Song’ it’s a long story but the person who’s
responsible knows lol :)
Not so much coughing today from Michelle,so that’s positive and my low few days are now behind me(fingers
crossed) and feeling more positive myself today.
I’m now off to spend the night watching TV with Michelle and eating my curried shepherds pie.

105
Manda and Pete (2010-03-28 19:58:48)
he he he he he

Visitors and Memories (2010-03-30 18:23)

Yesterday was a day of driving and eating!

We picked Adam up at 11am and set off to Loughborough to change Lucy’s harness as she’s now too fat to
fit in it.
That job done and it was breakfast time,I wasn’t hungry but I called into a burger van to get Michelle &
Adam a full English consisting of:
2 sausage,2eggs,2 bacon,black pudding,mushrooms,beans,tomatoes,4 slices of bread(each) and a cof-
fee..............Michelle had eaten hers and Adam had still got half of his left!
Then on to Shirebrook to Sports World HQ for some bargains,Michelle wanted to try and walk and she did
really well but over did it a little and had to sit down for a rest.
After leaving there I drove them around Chesterfield,which is part of my route at work.
We passed a McDonald’s on route and Michelle & Adam had a milkshake each, and I was getting hungry
now so about 20Min’s later stopped at a chip shop and joked to Michelle about having some, she laughed
and asked for a bag of chips :)
We finished off looking around Matlock and headed back home arriving about 5pm.
Today it has been visitor mad,with Jayne turning up at 12 noon on her usual Tuesday visit,quickly followed
by my sister Janet and her two daughters,grandson and her new baby grandchild.
I went looking in the loft for some old video tapes that I want to send away to be put for DVD,but didn’t
find what I was looking for.
I did find some old photo albums though and bought them down,so the next hour was spent with everyone
looking at them and reminiscing.
It was really weird looking back and seeing how everyone has grown up,but we had some good memories and
so glad I got them down.
Everyone eventually went and Michelle was worn out by now,so I headed off to do the food shopping on my
own,and it felt so strange pushing a trolley around the supermarket on my own without Michelle being with
me in her chair with a trolley attached.
Whilst I was out Matt & Millie turned up(think we’ve seen more of Matt lately than when he lived with us!)
They were telling Michelle all their plans for moving to Ibiza on April 27Th,I think that’s why Matt is coming
down more because he knows he won’t see his mum all summer.
And now the house is quiet,just the two of us and no tea!
I’m catching up with this blog,Michelle’s sat relaxing with the dogs so I’ll have to get my finger out and sort
some tea.

106
2.4 April

Bay City Rollers (2010-04-01 12:08)

[1]
I can now reveal Michelle’s surprise yesterday was to see The Bay City Rollers in Loughborough with Kay.
She grew up with them and loved their music and when I saw where they were after an Internet search I had
to get them some tickets.
Kay has been an absolute star all the way through Michelle’s treatment and we wouldn’t of managed without
her, so I got her a ticket too so they could watch the show together.
Neither of them knew where they were going and Michelle didn’t even know what day her surprise was until
5pm yesterday.
So Michelle got ready and we picked Kay up at 7pm, I got them a drink from the 1970’s Babycham so we
set off with them drinking that in the car on the way there.
I dropped them off and headed back home waiting for the call to pick them up.
They phoned me in the interval and said it was a fantastic show, where Les the lead singer was telling the
stories about the songs and what it was like years a go, in between songs.
They were on the front row in the middle, and when the others started dancing Michelle couldn’t see and
Les asked them to move out of the way so she could!
I picked them up at 10.45pm, they came out with their tartan scarfs and a massive smile.
They then told me that they were queuing up to get their photographs taken when all of a sudden a lady
from the venue pushed Michelle to the front of the queue to have her photo took with Les McKeown!!!
Chips on the way home and I dropped Michelle & Kay off whilst I collected Tracy from the pub because
he’d worked late and his car had been locked in the CO-OP car park.
We both went back to his house and had some pizza and they talked about the show, so all in all I think
they had a good time.
For me, seeing Michelle & Kay smiling and having a laugh was more than a reward for me.
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/S7SCioa_i7I/AAAAAAAAACk/tkS9Y2pKHcU/s1600/Picture+005.jpg

Easter Bug (2010-04-03 19:02)

For the last two days Michelle & I have caught a bug from some where.
We’ve both had sickness & the trots, although Michelle feels a little better
today I feel rough as a dog.
So we’ve been out no where and there is nothing really to report.
107
We called in to the nursing home the other day to take Sheila Easter egg
and that’s about it.
Just staying in now and generally feeling rubbish.

Breath Of Fresh Air (2010-04-06 18:56)

After a rubbish few days it was time to get some fresh air and spark a bit of life back in to us both.
We went to Loughborough to collect Tracy’s birthday present for this Friday,and on the way back phoned
Kay to see if they wanted to come to Bradgate Park to walk the dogs.
After picking up Lucy we set off and met Tracy,Kay,Maria & Christopher there and the mad dog walk began.
It was nice to be out from these four walls and get a breath of fresh air,then off to the pub with everyone
after for one beer before heading home.
Michelle is feeling light headed but maybe that’s because her Tia Maria’s were doubles and she drank too
quickly :)
So it’s off to water the plants and then find something to eat before vegging in front of the TV.
It’s also the night before Michelle’s CT scan and that’s not until 4pm so we’ll have to find something to do
or else tomorrow will drag.

Matt’s Back! (2010-04-07 19:27)

It was CT scan day and we thought today would drag until our appointment at 4pm but how wrong we were
in the end :)
Because it was also the day that Matt gave up his flat to come back home for 2 1/2 weeks before he’s off to
Ibiza.
So then our day started with phone calls from Matt and then him bringing his stuff back home, gone was
our quiet life of no
mess and quiet.
The bedroom was full,dining room full,and then still had his tools to go somewhere.
We set off for the hospital early trying to miss the queue’s and it worked,we got in early.
There was a prisoner in handcuffs waiting,a quiet couple and a stuck up couple that didn’t even
want to make eye contact.
Michelle got in first and 10mins later we were out and on the way to the chip shop.
Phoned Kay on the way back whilst Michelle went really hot because I had put chilli sauce
into her burger and chips.
Back home to find Matt had left the house with the back door unlocked,welcome back to the
norm.
Having said that Michelle was chuffed to have her little baby back home and gave him a kiss
and told him so.
Rubbish TV and Matt on the PC is our night sorted,and silence ruined
for the next few weeks,and I can’t walk around the house in my boxers :( lol

A Normal Busy Day In a Normal Life (2010-04-09 17:27)

Today has been busy with people coming to the house and we haven’t been out.
The suns been shining, we’ve been sat on the patio in the sun and Michelle’s been pottering in and house of
108
the house and it felt like a normal day in a normal life.
It may sound crazy that sitting in the sun enjoying the day is something to write about,but these are the
’good days’ that we love so much.
The day started with a teacher from Michelle’s work,Tina coming to visit.
They have always got on well at work and had a good old girly chat and calling everyone at work :)
She said how well Michelle looked,but doesn’t everyone say that,maybe to make you feel better or am I
getting cynical?
Next to turn up was Adam,who came to borrow a drill and ended up staying all afternoon,eating as he
usually does when he comes here.
I dropped Matt and his girlfriend Mille off in Coalville because Mille had stomach ache and went to the
doctors.
He phoned up later in the afternoon to say that Millie has to go into hospital for tests tonight,her bed will
be ready at 7pm.
The GP told her is might be her appendix,ovaries or cancer( how the bloody hell can they make such a
sweeping statement without tests! It makes me so mad)
So they are now both sat WAITING to go to the hospital this evening.
Andy turned up with the fencing, which he’s doing tomorrow and lucky for me Adam was still there to help
and Matt turned up to help too giving my old bones a rest.
A DJ/promoter from Northampton then turned up to collect Matt’s CDJ decks that he’s sold to fun his
Ibiza trip.
And now it’s quiet,except Matt ironing his cloths and he even makes a noise doing that lol
Today has been so normal and I wish we could turn back the clock like everyday was a normal day like
today,but we can’t so we’ll cherish these days and make the most of them and look forward to more like it.

Fencing & Tracy’s Birthday (2010-04-10 22:35)

The day started with Andy turning up at 9.30 to start our fencing.
It’s been a nightmare with our neighbours because their garden is like a jungle and
keeps coming on to our side,so we had to get it sorted.
Matt & Millie came back home after Millie was sent home from hospital,they kept her
in over night and gave her a tablet which made her sick and feeling fine straight after,it
turns out it was trapped wind.
Next to turn up was Adam after he’d had his medical for his HGV license.
We then both went up to Morrison’s to get some food in for breakfast,sausages,black pudding,bacon etc.
Then back home I cooked for four of them,and never fancy eating it after I’ve cooked it myself.
Andy finished for the day about 6pm and put 6 panels up and it looked fantastic,blocked all next door out
and made is so much more private.
He’s back tomorrow to finish off the other 8 panels and we’ll all be enclosed in.
After everyone had gone I had a shower whilst Michelle got ready and we were off to Tracy’s for his birthday,
although we’d both been up early and felt so tired.
I wasn’t drinking because I was driving but Michelle knocked the Tia Maria’s back like a world champion :)
Kay’s mum & dad where their along with Shaun,Viv,Mel,her kids,Tracy & Kay.
Kay put on some lovely nibbles and got the menu out for an Indian takeaway.
We weren’t staying to eat because it had been a long day and Andy was starting at 9am again in the morning.
I had trouble getting Michelle away because Tracy kept topping up her glass and she didn’t say no!
We got back home for 10pm and Michelle is now sat eating Easter egg on the sofa with me whilst I have a
cider
and we’re watching a repeat of Murphy’s Law.
109
Michelle’s had so much colour in her face today and has looked the picture of health and everyone has said
how
well she looks,and she’s proudly been showing everyone how much her hair is growing back,you’d never of
caught
her doing that a few months a go.

Fencing done. (2010-04-11 19:32)

It’s been a long day today that started at 9am when Andy came for day two of fencing.
He’s done a great job as usual and I mucked in with digging some bushs up,breakfast making and general
tea boy.
All together down one side and across the bottom(the other side has already been done)there were 18 6’x5’
panels and the dogs can spend all day in the garden now without them trying to escape.
Andy has just gone home now at 7pm and he’s been on solid all day.
Michelle loves it and is glad it’s over because she hates the mess.
She gave Andy and his helper Adam a kiss and thanked them both,she’s so touchy
feely like that :)
I’ve just got out the shower and am knackered,Michelle is watering the plants.
And again it’s been a lovely normal day,sunshine and a happy Michelle and that
means a happy me too.

Rubbish & Arguements (2010-04-13 19:36)

Yesterday I decided to clean out our two sheds to get rid of all the rubbish to fit it all in to one shed.
It took me 5 hours on my own,I was annoyed because Matt & Mille were in the house and not once in those
5 hours and 4 trips to the tip did anyone come out to give a helping hand.
The only thing that Michelle & I EVER argue about is the kids and to be honest it’s usually Matt,because
in Michelle’s eye’s he can never do any wrong and it winds me up so much.
I know that when they have gone to Ibiza in 2 weeks time everything will be back to normal,but for now it
feels like Matt & Millie are treating our home like a hotel.
Parenting was never meant to be easy :) and mums will always defend their babies so maybe it’s a man
thing?
I hate ranting and moaning in our blog because it’s not all about me,but sometimes I have to let a bit of
anger out some way and this blog helps me a great deal to put down how I feel.
As for Michelle,who at the end of the day is the most important thing to me,she’s been quiet and trying to
keep out of my way.
Tomorrow will be another day and we’ll start over again,with us both looking at each other and laughing
and wondering what all the fuss was about.

The Good Old Days (2010-04-15 21:09)

Today we got back some old camcorder tapes that we’d sent away to be put to DVD so we wouldn’t lose
them in time.
When we saw them it was so funny because there was Adam & Simon in their pj’s aged about 9/10 years
110
old ( they are now 21 & 23 )and also Simon’s 18th birthday which he had at home with his mates.
Then my neices Katy & Alison when they were about 2 years old ( they are now 11 & 12 )
It made me realize how so quick time goes and so glad that I had them done.
We’ll never get those years back and that’s why I take photos and videos now at every chance I can.
Michelle is now on antibiotics after Prof Dyer sent a letter to Michelle’s GP asking him to prescribe the dual
tablets because her white cell count is low.
Michelle phoned and spoke to DR. Lewis who told her it was nothing to worry about and a normal thing to
do in the situation.
She’s still feeling great,eating well and her hair is growing back so fast now.
The weekend has given out good weather so I think it’s time to enjoy our new patio and invest in a new
BBQ.
Matt’s been out all day & night so there has been peace and no arguements,and from our friends comments
it turns out I am the moaning Dad after all :)

Hassle Off The Neighbours (2010-04-18 17:17)

Yesterday (Saturday) started off with Andy coming to the house to price up finishing our garden off,it just
needs re-turfing and some stones put down the bottom end.
He priced all the supplies and then said if I helped he’d do all the work for free which is so so kind and Andy
is a top bloke.
Whilst he was here and talking to me down the garden our next door neighbour Sandy came around to ’have
a quiet word’ with Michelle.
I don’t really get on with her after a few run in’s,which is unusual for me because I usually get on with
everyone.
Anyway she came to say that they were putting their house up for sale,but there was a problem with our
newly erected fence....we’d gone 18” over on to her side and if the new neighbours found out they’d be able
to rip the fence down and sell it because it was on there side!
I ’ve never heard such utter bull shit in my life.
After taking advise from Michelle’s brother Tracy I now know that before they sell they must answer the
question ”Are there any boundary issues with your neighbours?”
If they answer yes then no one will touch their house,if they answer no then the new neighbours can’t touch
the fence.
Andy purposely put the new fence IN FRONT of their old wire fence so how can our new fence be over
theirs???????
I was ready to storm around and sort it out but Michelle asked me to leave it and forget it,last thing I want
to do is upset her or give her ant grief,unlike the neighbours.
So tomorrow I’m getting a plan from the council and will measure my land exactly to the inch.
So today was another day and it was out for a carvery with Michelle,my mum,Adam and Lizzie.
As usual Michelle ate the most :) and now back home with full stomachs and feeling tired.
We picked our BBQ up from Argos yesterday and it was flat pack....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! An hour later and
it was all put up but we didn’t have any gas :)
Now Sunday tea time and Michelle is finishing off the last of her Easter egg but she’s not happy because I’ve
still got some egg left,she’s like a baby :)
So now it’ll be Britain’s Got Talent for the next few months,then the extra show and before you know it Big
Brother will be back on.
I’ve got my final 2 weeks off work now and got back after May bank holiday,fingers crossed that all will be
OK after the CT results.

111
The Corner I Hate (2010-04-23 14:06)

I have been so wrapped up with sorting the garden out this week I haven’t had time to blog.
We both just want a fairly maintenance free garden now,a bit of lawn and hard standing so we can enjoy the
garden.
Ever since buying the house we’ve never really done anything about the garden but I want it all sorted now
before I go back to work.
Adam helped me skim the old grass up and put it in the skip,all 90m2 of it!
Then a bit of extending the borders and moved the shed and we’re just about there ready for Andy coming
Saturday morning to start.
He’s ordered all the stones,cement,slabs and turf for me because he gets a discount and we all like a discount
don’t we?
On his way home last night I asked Adam to call into the petrol station near him to see if I could use my
old butane gas bottle as a deposit for a propane one because the new BBQ runs on propane.
He actually called into JB Tool Hire where his mate works first,and his mate was outside with the boss and
the mention of a van drivers job came up so he’s got a form to fill out and take back today so that worked
out well.
So all in all this week Michelle and I haven’t really been out,but at least the garden will be finished at the
end of Saturday.
Today I had to take my mum back to gynocology at Leicester Royal for a check up and you may remember
before when I took her it was the same building Michelle was diagnosed in.
We don’t get to see this building when we go because it’s at the other end of the hospital.
I saw my dreaded corner of the building where,I remember like it was yesterday,that I phoned family and
friends up to tell them that Michelle had got cancer.
That corner gives me the creeps and makes my stomach turn and it bring home to me what Michelle has
been through over the last 11 months and where we are now.
If there was a poll I wonder what the majority of cancer patients/carers would say is the worst thing about
it all.
My guess would be:
1) The not knowing
2) The waiting
I still can’t believe where the last 11 months have gone,at first it felt like slow motion and once treatment
started time seems to have flown by.
As next Wednesday’s CT scan results get nearer we are both getting more nervous,after all our last 3 result
visits haven’t been good.
Having said that Michelle feels fantastic,her hair is growing so fast and she has more energy but is that
anything to go by?
As a carer you can only stay positive for so long and keep that smile up when sometimes I wish someone
could answer my worries and questions but then again it’s not me going through cancer.

A Week Of Gardening.......Done! (2010-04-25 20:38)

At last after a long week we’ve finished our garden work,apart from the cleaning up tomorrow.
Andy has been an absolute star and it took us longer than originally thought,he had to come back today to
rotovate,wacker and rake then put the turf down.
Michelle was tea lady for the day along with sausage & egg cobs and her fried eggs were perfect,I had to
laugh because she has always hated cooking and I do the most of it in the house but her fried eggs were
brilliant.
112
She tried to help too much though and she started to get a pain in her side.
But I am so so proud of her because it’s well over a week now since she’s been in the wheel chair.
She has walked around Morrison’s,Focus,B &Q and Homebase over the last week and I’m so proud of her.
After a shower and falling in bed to watch TV that’s the weekend done for me.
We’ve got one week of watering the grass twice a day for a week now and trying to keep the dogs off it,a job
in itself :)
See what the neighbours have got to moan about now.
So tomorrow see the start of my last week off work :(
I’ve also got a few calls to make because Andy’s wife Mandy,who Michelle used to work with a few years a
go,is doing the Race For Life for Cancer Research UK and I’m trying to get her some sponsership in to help
her along the way.
My eyes feel heavy and Michelle is in the bath and don’t think we’ll take much rocking to sleep tonight.

Return Of The Tears (2010-04-28 15:52)

It’s been a funny and busy type of last 7 days,me being so engrossed in finishing the garden and trying to
live a normal life.
There has also been the odd tiff due to Matt again,but that’s all behind us now and today is another day
and a step nearer to getting off this roller coaster ride.
Yesterday we decided to pick Michelle’s mum Sheila up from the nursing home and bring her out for the
afternoon.
On the way out of the doors who did we come across,only Tracy & Kay on there way back from walking the
dog and they were calling in to see mum.
Kay asked Michelle if she was OK and Michelle burst into tears,and she hasn’t shown that emotion for a
while now.
It was a combination of being worried about the CT scan results and it was also the day that Matt flew off
to Ibiza for the summer,Kay gave her a hug and reasured her Matt would be OK.
Matt and Millie had left by the time we’d got home so Michelle had missed saying goodbye.
He’d left his bedroom like a bomb had hit it and was left for us to clear up,which I’m not happy about and
will be having words when he gets back.
Shiela was a little ’vacent’ today and had her usual worries,like she thought she’d lost her handbag but it
was in the car and the normal things she thinks about which are all to do with her mental illness.
I got Michelle & Sheila some lunch and after an afternoon of catching up I took Sheila back to the home as
Jayne came for her usual Tuesday afternoon visit.
This morning we both woke up in a really good mood,well in fact Michelle was woken by a wasp buzzing
around her pillow and I hid under the quilt :)
I went downstairs to the toilet and was actually physically sick with worry but didn’t tell Michelle and kept
that brave smile on.
Kay picked us up at 10.30am for the drive to Leicester and the mood was a happy one,we actually got there
1/2 hour early and took our seats and started people watching.
We were laughing and joking and as soon as Michelle went to the toilet her name was called out 5mins before
her appointment time.
We walked into Dr Symmonds room and there were two nurses in the room with him,which never usually
happens because it’s usually Linda if anyone and his first words were: ” I’m going to ask Professor Dyer to
join us for a chat”
Initially we all thought that it was going to be bad news, but then Dr Symmonds passed us an A4 piece of
paper with the CT report on it,which has never happened before and as we tried to understand the medical
words her started to say that the nodes on Michelle’s lungs had shrunk.
113
He is still unsure what it is and we now have 3 possibilites of secondary from the cervical,secondary from
lymphoma or a viral infection but he did go on to say that he was doubting cancer because it had shrunk
without treatment and you’d expect cancer to have grown,he also was very sceptical about the PET scan
and doesn’t really trust the results of them which surprised me.
He did an internal examination to check her cervix and couldn’t feel anything,and examined her lymphoma
and said that the mass had also shrunk.
Prof Dyer came in and popped his head into the examination room with Michelle half getting dressed and
everyone burst out laughing.
He gave me the thumbs up three time and said he was as happy with Michelle as Dr Symmonds was and
gave her his love,they agreed to now wait 7 weeks for another CT scan and then a results appointment 2
weeks after that.
So Michelle is going to be treatment and hospital free for 7 weeks,she kissed Dr Symmonds and we couldn’t
of wished for better results......this is a happy great day and we’re both over the moon.
I knew in the back of my mind that today would be a turning point day and I was right,so it’s back to work
for me on Tuesday which will be really strange but another step towards getting our life back to normal.
We’ve had some great support from family and friends over the last 11 months and thank each and everyone
of them,but for me personally writing this blog and being in contact with Manda & Pete and Andy & Emma
have been the greatest help I could of wished for and from the bottom of my heart THANKYOU so much
guys.
We know we’re a long way from being out of the woods but today feels like another step towards getting off
this roller caoster ride.
And we can now look forward to heading up North in May for the wedding of the year and finally meet two
of our closest virtual friends.....bring on the Corkies!

The Wasp (2010-04-29 19:04)

Today we were woken at 6.30am by a wasp again flying around Michelle head in bed.
”It’s the same bloody one as yesterday” she said waking up! What same colour? Same noise? :)
It was nothing a hardback version of Jeremy Clarkson’s autobiography couldn’t put right,I took my time
and floored it in one go followed by a flush down the toilet so now the ”same bloody one” won’t be back in
the morning!
By now I was awake and came down stairs on the PC to let Michelle sleep in.
I checked my emails and then started on a photo montage for Manda ready for her hen do this Saturday.
I had to leave it half finished to take my mum for a blood test because she’s losing weight,although with her
diet of so much sugar she never should be.
When I pulled up outside her house I had a text from Andy & Emma who had some great news that they
had got on well at their hospital visit and don’t need to go back for six months,both Michelle and I are so
pleased for them.
Blood tests done and mum dropped back home I finished my DVDs and nipped to the post office before we
had a run out to the shops.
Michelle has ordered a swinging hammock from Focus and a bit fed up because it hadn’t come on time,well
a week late so far.
So after Coalville precinct we passed the burger van so it was hot dog,onions and brown sauce for Michelle
and nothing for me.
That lasted about 5 Min’s before I called into the shop to pick up some cider and Michelle came in and had
a cheese salad cob and angel cake(for later!) and by the time we got home she’d eaten that,I’m not talking
about miles home,from hot dog via shop to home is a 1.5 mile ride!!
We’ve just vegged on the sofa this afternoon where she’s eaten a pack of 36 Jaffa Cakes and some angel cake
114
and now wants to order an takeaway and I still don’t know where she puts it,I know it’s not a healthy diet
but she’s happy and got more energy and enjoys life so sod it I say.
Friends and family have been calling all day after hearing yesterday’s good news and so glad we bought that
answer machine 11 months a go,and that’s not meant to sound awful.
Michelle is now taking great pleasure in telling everyone that her GP has just wrote her a sick note for 3
months so she can watch Big Brother,X-Factor etc and that I’m back at work on Tuesday,oh I love her to
bits :)

2.5 May

Normality (2010-05-01 19:34)

Phone calls,emails,texts and visits after our good news on Wednesday are calming down now and back to
normanlity for us both now.
The last two days have been normal and although to some that may sound boring or weird,for us to have
some normal days is an achievment and I don’t think until you’ve lived with cancer day in day out you’d
never understand.
The normal stuff we’ve been doing is shopping,Michelle eating(although that’s never changed :)
Shaun & Viv came to visit today,to see our new garden and to borrow our 20 % Focus discount card that
ends on Sunday.
We’ve arranged to meet up with everyone on Bank Holiday Monday for a meal.
Matt’s phoned from Ibiza to let his mum know he’s OK and to aplogise for leaving his room a mess and told
her to leave it until he came back after the summer,and that would of drove Michelle mad!
It’s also been the 1ST day that the dogs have been allowed on the new lawn and they ran around like
mad,with Holly getting soaked trying to catch the water from the sprinkler.
And Michelle has been looking for my work trousers belt ready to put my uniform out ready for Tuesday,talk
about rubbing it in lol :)

Last Day Of The Summer Holidays (2010-05-03 15:53)

Today feels like the last day of the summer holidays and back to school the next day,in fact it’s the last day
of my sick leave and back to work at 5am in the morning.
The time off has been so nice and spending some quality time with Michelle,and we’ve crammed loads of
things in over the last few weeks.
But now with bills to pay it’s back to the real world and back to work and this blog is sounding just like the
one before,when I had time off and went back to work,although that time I only went back for 10 days :)
We’ve been out today for a carvery with Shaun,Viv,John & Keely which was really nice and now we’re back
home Michelle has sorted my uniform out for tomorrow and getting our weekend case ready for our trip up
north on May 15TH,oh yes she likes to get things organised!
Simon & Danni are stopping over that weekend to look after the dogs and I’ve phoned the Country club up
today to confirm our booking :) and that will be our next thing to look forward to.
I think you have to have things to plan and look forward too or else it’s just Mon-Fri work and laze about
all weekend and then it starts all over again.
I suppose I’ll be playing catch up again soon with our blog when I get back to work,and wonder how I found
the time to do everything.
Bed early for me.............
115
4AM Shock (2010-05-04 20:07)

When my alarm went off at 4am this morning and it was still dark outside it was a shock to the sytem.
Showered and got to work for 4.45am and it was actually nice to see all my mates and get back to a kind of
normal life.
The day flew by and I actually enjoyed driving around in the sunshine and felt relaxed that Michelle was at
home OK.
After a back to work interview,some health and safety catch up and a watch of a 12min video on how to
check your lorry I was on my way back home by 2.45PM.
Picked Michelle up to go food shopping and she’d been pottering in the garden most of the day.
Off we went to Morrisons and called into Jayne’s to see her new patio and a cuppa with her,but once them
two get together there’s no shutting them up :)
We got home for 6PM and I got Michelle mash,beans and fish fingers for her tea,yes it’s still her favourite!
It’s now 8.20PM and I’m falling asleep and will sleep like a log tonight,unlike last night when I saw the clock
every hour.

End Of A Long Week (2010-05-08 21:00)

It’s Saturday night and we’re baby sitting for Christopher & Maria and playing blog catch up,after what
feels like such a long week at work.
After a day at work it felt like I hadn’t been away and was soon back in to it,phoning Michelle 3 times a day
to make sure she was OK.
She’d been moving plant pots etc and trying to do too much,and the next day she paid for it with feeling
really tired and having no energy.
It must be so frustrating for her because she’s always been very active and right now,although she’s doing a
lot more,she can’t do what she used to do before.
After work on Friday we went to Fosse Park for wedding outfits for next weekend,but it was me that was
the problem needing a 52”/54” chest shirt/jacket and your normal shops never fit me :(
After two days of looking I still haven’t found anything (and I wanted to wait until next Friday to look for
something!)
Michelle is sorted,along with our weekend case which she’s sorted already.
So after looking all day I got out of emulsioning the landing and stairs,but won’t get away with it for long :(
We’re now baby sitting as Tracy & Kay have gone out for the night,can’t remember when we last baby sat?
After 4 days off work I’ve already booked two days off for a long weekend after Manda & Pete’s wedding!
Months a go I booked a night in London on the web and have just found out it’s the day after the wedding,so
don’t think I’ll bother driving from North to London just for the night lol.

Redundant Wheel Chair (2010-05-09 16:08)

Where did the weekend go? How did I have time to do things and work?
It doesn’t seem like like 2 MINS since it was Friday afternoon and we’d planned our weekend and what we
were going to do,but it never worked out like that.
Saturday morning I stayed in bed until 10.30am and it was so nice,Michelle as usual woke up about 8am and
116
asked the time,and as she does every morning and said ” I need a big fat wee” and got up for her morning
ritual of coffee and 1/2 ciggy.
So when I was up,I was supposed to be emulsioning the hall and stairs but decided to try and get out of that
with a suggestion that I still needed to find something to wear for next weekend,and Michelle agreed to go
shopping....surprise surprise!
I’m a tee shirt and jeans bloke and very rarely wears suits or a shirt and after piling on a few pounds it is
difficult to get anything to fit.
A return to Fosse park and M &S didn’t work either so I started looking on the internet and found some
shirts and got some tee shirts from Asda.
After a call in for chips,sausage and curry sauce for Michelle on the way back home we tried Charterhouse
in Shepshed but still no luck.
All this shopping and walking had kanckered Michelle out because she decided to put her wheel chair in the
shed and doesn’t want to use it anymore.
We have to take our time walking around the shops,but I am so so proud of her determination and battle to
win.
She looks great,feels great when she doesn’t do too much and fingers crossed that this is going to last.
We went to Tracy & Kays for 6.30pm to pick up Maria & Christopher for the night to look after them whilst
their Mum & Dad went out for the night.
Back home and me in the kitchen rustling up spag bol with garlic bread,Michelle took them to our spare
rooms and to be honest they were no problem all the time we had them and I think they enjoyed staying
here.
Sunday morning had gone when Tracy & Kay came to pick the kids up and we just nipped to Wilkinsons to
pick up an emulsion brush,new mop & bucket and some No Nails,rock and roll eh? !!!
I’ve now started on the decorating by putting the battons up for the blinds in the hallway and will hopefully
emulsion after work next week if I finish early enough.
Michelle said she wants all the clothes sorted and our suitcase in the car by Friday night( ”so we don’t have
to rush around Saturday! ” )
She’s already looked at the food menu for the golf club on the internet :) and is palnning room service if she
gets hungry lol
Michelle is now sat watching Britains Got Talent,which she watched last night and Sky+’d it so she can
watch it again.
Soon be Big Brother and more TV to keep her entertained!
Lazy rest of the day for us both now,bed early for me and 5AM start where we are going to find out some
company news and see how it affects our jobs,should be interesting.

Manda and Pete (2010-05-09 21:49:15)

I love this blog :-)

Shopping For.......... (2010-05-12 20:22)

This week has been so far a week of shopping,it started with me needing clothes but ended up with Michelle
needing.....trousers,shoes,tee shirt ;)
She has got our weekend away so sorted with the suitcase and putting things in it every day (We’re only
stopping one night!)
Oh yes and she’s also been looking at the hotel’s website to see what she can order through room service
when she gets hungry.
After work on Monday I emulsioned the hall and stairs,Tuesday was weekly shop and today was shopping in
Leicester.
117
And everyone who Michelle sees they all say how well she looks,although I’m not too happy because she says
she wants to lose weight.
I love her the way she is and although she’s eating for England,I’d rather have that than her losing weight.
This coming weekend is going to be a great break away for us after a long years battle and we both so so
need it and can’t wait now :)

Getting On With It (2010-05-13 19:24)

Nearly the end of another week and it’s been a normal week for us both,but then again nothing is really
normal for us both anymore.
The memories of what we’ve been through and what we’re going through will always be in the back of our
minds.
Today I had to stop outside Tesco’s in Chesterfield and it bought it back to me that a few weeks a go I was
parked up there when that consultant phoned to tell me Michelle had months to live.
And Michelle’s oldest and best friend from school who has beaten cancer twice already,has to have 6 months
of chemo again because it’s come back.
Michelle now and again speaks of the ”What if is comes back?” ”What if her lung scan is more serious?”
These thoughts will never go away and I guess we’ve got to get on with life because if we worried every day,7
days a week then we’d both go mad.
Apart from the deep thoughts we’ve both been happy,with me calling Michelle twice a day.
Then out doing stuff after work,mainly buying things because that makes Michelle happy and in turn that
makes me happy.
The suitcase is nearly packed and the ever organised Michelle is onto it :)
Just some Corky’s to buy, one day at work,one night’s sleep and then we’re off up North to meet our very
good friends for the very first time,Manda & Pete.

Manda & Pete’s Wedding - A fantastic Weekend. (2010-05-16 13:16)

[1]
118
[2]

[3]

[4]
Yesterday on May 15TH 2010 it started off hectic,running around doing last minute jobs like going to the
bank,getting the house keys to Simon & Adam to look after the dogs,picking up Corkey’s and finally some
food for Michelle to eat on the way :)
Then at 11.30am we finally got away and made our way to Garstang which was a two and a half hour drive
up North.
119
On the way Michelle managed to eat a whole bag of Morrison goodies includes chicken baguette,pork
pies,lucozade,Scotch egg and cake.
We had a laugh on the way up there and it was so good to see Michelle looking well,smiling and enjoying
herself.
She did really well with the journey,only having to have one co-codamol when we got as far as Preston,because
her lymphoma was hurting.
Just outside Garstang was a fantastic garden centre that Manda had recommended so we called in there and
Michelle was like a kid in a sweet shop,and ending up buying a hanging basket.
We asked at the till where the golf club was and the woman sent us down this road and we ended up near
some farms,but eventually came across Garstang Golf & Country club where the wedding reception was and
where we were staying the night.
We checked in at 3pm and went to our room,which was lovely but so warm.
On the bed was a card and present wrapped in lovely paper,I opened the card and welled up as I read it,the
card was from Manda & Pete saying how glad they were we could make it and to thank us for helping them
over the last year.
And to go with the card a lovely framed photo of me & Michelle,it’s been 15 years since we last went to a
wedding together and have very few photo’s of us both together so it meant so much to us,such a lovely kind
surprise.
Michelle got her organizing done and got everything out of the case and I put the FA Cup final on the TV :)
We then decided to have a drive into the village to have a look around,we parked in a car park and saw a
shop with all plants outside and thought it was another garden centre,so went inside and it turned out to be
a supermarket so we may a quick exit out the other end.
On to the High St and I got my phone out to read an email I’d kept that Manda had sent advising of which
were the best pubs and which to stay clear of.
Michelle was getting a bit tired though from all the walking so we headed back to the car and back to the
golf club.
We nipped back to our room and then into the bar for a beer and sandwich,the FA Cup was on TV and all
the golfers were sat there watching it,I was people watching to see if I recognised anyone.
After a couple of drinks and a sandwich we headed out of the bar and headed back to our room when
suddenly a lady shouted and said ” Are you Michelle?” and it turned out to be Linda,Manda’s mum.
We had a brief chat and said that we’d see her later at the reception but we never did,all weekend in fact
we never met up again.
Back to our room and a shower and change with Michelle laughing at me trying to squeeze in to my trousers!
And we were off back to the bar for a quick one before going upstairs to the reception,and as we entered
the room Michelle turned and said to me ” Isn’t that Pete over there?” and to be honest there were so many
people I couldn’t see him until he stood up ans said my name.
We met with a very friendly handshake and hug and to be really honest it was so so nice to meet Pete for
the very first time after a year.
Michelle gave him a hug and kiss and he explained that Manda was upstairs having a bad hair day lol.
We sat down with a Pete and had a beer and then came the bridesmaids baying for my blood!
”You’ve got a lot to answer for” they said laughing about the Hen night slide show that I’d done for Manda.
Michelle went outside and who did she meet? Only Manda having a ciggy at the same time,she came back
in and told me she’d met her and said, ” ooh she’s lovely Manda isn’t she?,she’s just gone upstairs and we’ll
see her later”
It came to 7.30pm and we made our was to the reception upstairs,Michelle went in first and met Manda
again and then it was my turn.
I was greeted with a massive hug and it felt like meeting an old friend that I hadn’t seen for ages,we were
both made to feel so welcome,and to meet someone that had shared our life on a daily basis for a whole year
was something really special and we’re both honoured to call them our very close special friends.
We met Pete’s mum and Michelle and her had a good old chat and got on really well,as did Michelle and
120
Kay who got on really well as Kay sat on the floor and had a long chat with Michelle whilst I talked to her
boyfriend who was easy to get on with too.
The day had been a long one and Michelle’s lymphoma was aching again so we had to poop out of the party
at 10pm and made our way back to our room.
Michelle had a bath to relax but was then hungry,told her to have some hotpot Manda!
So we had to contact reception to see if we were allowed a takeaway to be delivered,the receptionist had to
ask the manager who said yes.
Then the receptionist looked on the Internet to see who delivered in Garstang and she came up with Chico’s.
So ordered a kebab,garlic bread,chips and a burger and they said they bring it to our room in half an hour.
Michelle was in the bath and I was in bed with my boxers on when my mobile went and it was the delivery
driver from Chico’s ”I’ve got your order,I’m in the car park in a red van if you want to come out and meet
me”
In a panic I quickly put my jeans and tee shirt on and made my way to the car park where he was in a
builders van!
I took the bag and walked quickly past the people outside smoking with my face going red ! lol
Sunday morning and Michelle was keen to get to the full English breakfast in the restaurant.
I had a full English,she had cereals,toast,coffee,juice & full English.
We saw Manda,Kay and Manda’s dad Michael in the restaurant and said a quick hello again before we went
back to pack our things.
As we were booking out we saw Manda,Becki,their dad and Kay and said our last goodbyes.
We thanked them for a such a great weekend and for the card and present that Manda & Pete had given
us,Pete was in bed after a long day yesterday where he did really well and even did a little dancing :)
As everyone went back into the reception Kay was the last person to say goodbye to and Michelle had a hug
and started crying,she’d loved the whole weekend and was sad now that it was over.
Once Pete’s treatment has finished we’ve arranged for them to come to us for the weekend so we’re really
looking forward to that.
It’s been a fantastic weekend meeting great friends and their family and we’ve been made to feel so wel-
come,weekends like this don’t come around often and it’s one we’ll treasure and have the memory of for a
very long time.......Thank you so so much Mr & Mrs Davis!
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/S-_vxAMmWkI/AAAAAAAAADE/RbvO4qxojTg/s1600/photo(5).jpg
2. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/S-_vw8MwkRI/AAAAAAAAAC8/hc6lOoCuXK0/s1600/photo(4).jpg
3. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/S-_vwmRPYpI/AAAAAAAAAC0/yRLO-vqyDIE/s1600/photo(3).jpg
4. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/S-_vwv903II/AAAAAAAAACs/81pfSHD6I30/s1600/photo.jpg

Not Sleeping With a Busy Week (2010-05-18 15:16)

As I’m writing our blog this afternoon Michelle is in bed with the heating on.
Over the last few days she’s been going to bed and not been able to sleep because she’s so hot,yet during
the day like now she’s cold.
Yesterday we had a busy day,I’ve had two days holiday from work after the busy weekend,we went looking
for some more plants,Stauton Harold Garden Centre then B &Q,off to The Angel at Colorton for a meal
which was horrible and expensive,then back to Stauton Harold to pick up the plants we’d first seen.
Call into Sports World to see Simon at work,and he said there maybe some part time hours for Adam until
he does his HGV training.
I think having a meal out combined with shopping made us both tired yesterday,and the week is a busy one
for Michelle.
We’ve been food shopping today and Jayne is due in 10MIN’S,although not sure Michelle will be awake to
see her today.
121
Then tomorrow she’s off out for lunch as it’s her mum’s birthday,so Tracy & Kay are picking her up whilst
I’m back at work :(
Thursday her friend Julie from work,is coming to visit her so she’s got a busy week this week,
I do worry when she gets tired and always think it maybe worse than it always is,but I suppose that’s only
natural.
After the wedding we now need to arrange something again so that we’ve got something to look forward
to,I’ll get my thinking cap on.

Fat Army Men! (2010-05-22 19:59)

Today has been so hot,25/26’c and too hot to do anything.

It was so hot that Michelle has decided not to wear her bandana’s anymore,her hair is growing back and
everyone said she looks like Sinead O’Conner.
We started the day by calling into my mum’s to collect some oil for our petrol mower that Simon bought his
mum for Christmas,and then onto the petrol station for some fuel for it.
Back home and after putting out new mower together I gave our new lawn it’s first mow whilst Muchelle lay
on her banana hammock with Lucy & Holly.
Then after cooling down it was off to Morrison’s for some salad stuff and new potatoes for tea,along with
some cakes for Michelle.
On the way out she came out with a classic line because she hadn’t got a bandana on she said:
”We look like a pair of fat army men” lol how very rude!
But we laughed so much all the way home,I love her to bits.
Tomorrow we’re off to see my daughter Leeann who has been seeing a lad for about 3 months and he wants
to ask my permission to marry her,it’s so old fashioned but so nice these days.
I think it’s too soon for them but I don’t think anything I say will make a difference,as long as he takes care
of my daughter then I hope everything will be fine.
Matt has texted and called from Ibiza to say that him and Milly have spilt up,yes again,and he’s run out of
money and can the bank of mum & dad help him out.
He’s got a trial to DJ in a club so he’s keeping his fingers crossed that he gets that.
The last thing I need is for Michelle to be worrying about him but only naturally as a mum she will but the
more I can shield her from the better.
So for us both life us very normal right now,Michelle is eating well still and sleeping a little better since we
bought the fan back into the bedroom and that’s been on turbo every night since.
I suggested sleeping tablets but she doesn’t want to go down that route so her decision is fine by me and at
the end of the day very sensible I suppose.

We’re just.....................normal? (2010-05-26 17:33)

Since treatment stopped our life has been quite normal.

Nothing of great importance to post and no exciting news I’m afraid.
It’s been a week of work for me usually getting home around 2.30pm then
just relaxing at home with Michelle.
We’ve phoned Kay today to see if she’s OK to take Michelle for her CT scan next Wednesday and she’s fine.
Then we’ll be back to the hospital 2 weeks after that to get the results,and that will be another nail biter.
This Saturday will be the ONE YEAR mark since Michelle was diagnosed with cancer,but I’ll write more
about that on the day and look back at what we’ve both been through.
122
Leeanne & James Wedding! (2010-05-28 20:24)

After our last post of nothing really to report,24 hours has changed that.
After a rubbish day at work I ended up at my mum’s house where everyone was,Janet,Robert,Adam,Leanne
and James.
I dropped some slabs off for Janet and they were all taking up my mum’s slabs ready for Andy coming
Saturday morning to do her a new patio.
I called into the corner shop after my mum’s and was on the phone to Kay to thank her for all her support
over the last year,when Leeanne & James turned up at the side of the car on their way back to Loughborough.
After coming off the phone they said they wanted to come to our house to tell us something,so in the car
they got and we headed to my house.
When we got home Leeanne passed me an envelope and she said that it would be a shock!
And OMG it was,they are getting married on August 28th THIS YEAR!!! And James went on to tell me
that his mum has a brain tumour for the second time and she’s due for a major operation in September
which will be very touch and go,she’s just 38 years old and her mum died of the same condition.
I think it’s a bit too soon for them both but they love each other and our hearts go out to James and his
mum so I can see where he’s coming from,he wants to get married with his mum there.
In an old fashioned style he asked my permission to marry Leeanne,which I thought was really nice.
I told him I was happy as long as he looked after my daughter,and I know he will.
I’m a proud dad today and know I’ll be even prouder on the day.
Michelle is chuffed and thinks James is a lovely lad.
We also got a text from Andy & Emma today and they remembered it’s nearly one year since we started
our rolller coaster ride.
I remember Andy’s support from day one and will never forget that,Emma had been diagnosed three weeks
earlier and he knew what we were going through.
They have suggested we meet up and after Michelle has got her CT results,it’s something that we’re both
really looking forward to what.
What a difference 24 hours makes,from a boring and nothing to report blog to looking forward to my
daughters wedding and meeting our virtual friends......life is good :)

One Year On. (2010-05-29 18:48)

Today is 29TH May 2010 and it marks one year since Michelle was diagnosed with cancer.
At certain points along our roller coaster journey I wasn’t even sure that we’d get this far,but with Michelle’s
determination to fight,love of our family and friends,the candles being lit for us both and great treatment by
DR. Simmonds and Professor Dyer my wife is here today.
I can remember that day a year a go like it was yesterday,the consultant’s clothes the nurse who came in
with him and closed the door before the consultant said to Michelle:
” There are cancerous cells in your cervix and it’s stage 4,which means it’s advanced and too big to operate
on. And we need to do a biopsy on your lymph node as it seems quite enlarged and we are concerned about
that too”
A quote from our blog read :
”Tears started to come eventually, and after a big hug and cry we tried to stay positive.
I went outside on my mobile to tell people, I phoned Joyce, Janet and Shaun. And cried every time I told
someone.”
123
Time has flown so fast over the last year and we’ve been through every emotion possible,and I am so so
proud of Michelle and the way she has dealt with the last year........I love her so so much :)
Today in the car on the way to Focus,B &Q and Homebase to look for plants we reminisced about the last
year but also had the best laughs today about childish things like Michelle farting in the garden centre part
of Focus,childish but so so funny!
We’ll never be out of the woods and for the rest of our life now we’ll be worrying about cancer,the if’s,but’s
and maybe’s but you can let it rule your life and we live day to day and enjoy life and want to live a normal
life like others do and looking past the short hair,weakness sometimes and apprehension who’d know what
we’ve been through?
Special thanks on this special day go out to many people who have helped us along the way but especially
to Kay for her endless hospital trips,support and for being there,we couldn’t of done it all without you and
thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Thanks to Andy & Emma who were there from day one with support and help,lighting our candle and always
being on the end of a text or phone call with hair advise!
Also thanks to Manda & Pete who have been a rock to us,listening to our rants,helping out with our calendar
but most of all being the kindest and most special couple we have met for a long time.
From Michelle & me...........We’re getting there and thanks!!!

2.6 June

Back On The Ride (2010-06-01 16:16)

Michelle has been unusually quiet today,on the phone when I called her from work and since I’ve been home.
I’ve had a chat with her and she said that it’s been lovely having time off from going to the hospital,then
tomorrow is her CT scan and she’s not looking forward to it and then spending two weeks worrying about
it until we get the results.
So we’re now back on our roller coaster ride and for the forseable future there is no way off it,we are always
upbeat and looking forward to things and I hate to see Michelle when she gets down.
I sometimes feel so helpless and wish I could do more to help her,like take the worry & pain away from her
even just for a day.
One day you think your on top of everything but this cruel ride can bring you back down to earth at any
time.
I’ll be thinking of Michelle tomorrow as Kay is taking her tomorrow,but I will be there for the results.
I need to try and pick Michelle up so I’m off to get my thinking cap on.............

And Now The Waiting........... (2010-06-03 15:58)

Michelle had to be up for 6.30am yesterday to get ready for Kay picking her up at 9am for her CT scan,
Kay arrived at 9.20am and they got straight into the car park and then in for the scan 20 Min’s early.
The blood tests didn’t go so well though,and after all Michelle’s treatment her veins are very weak and the
nurses are finding it harder and harder to find a good vein.
They did it in the end and they were both on there way back home.
Now it’s a 2 week wait until we see Dr Simmonds for the results,waiting,waiting and more waiting................
It’s the waiting that drives you mad,although I always think that they’d call you straight in after a day or
so if there was something really bad??!
124
Later in the afternoon,with me still at work,Michelle got a phone call from Matt in Ibiza and yes you’ve
guessed it,although I was one week out,he’s ready to come back home!
He’s DJ’d in Es Paradis,a big well know club in Ibiza and also some smaller clubs and bars but it’s all just
trial work and he’s struggling for money.
He’s also spilt up with Millie,who has cut his passport in half!So he’s got to go to the police station to sort
all that out.
At the end of the day I’m not happy,because again it’s a stress and worry that Michelle can do without but
Matt doesn’t seem to think or worry about that side of it all........we’ll soon see where the story ends.

Warts and all. (2010-06-06 13:46)

Over the last year I have wrote this blog so we can look back on what we’ve been through and remember
things we’d forgotten about.
In time different people will come to read this,and for that fact I have sometimes had to edit what I put in
here.
Over the last 5 days Michelle & I have not been on the best of terms after I found a half opened pack of 200
cigerettes when she promised not only me but all the family and doctors that she had cut down to 3 a day.
After looking after her for a year I feel so let down right now,and maybe this sounds selfish on my part after
what Michelle has been through over the last year but I’ve done everything I could to look after her and all
she had to do was look after herself.
As to not write or say things I may regret in the future I am suspending my blog for now. :(

Race For Life@Loughborough (2010-06-13 16:05)

[1]
125
[2]
After a week away from the blog today Michelle & I went to Cancer Research’s Race For Life in Loughborough,
and it’s made me realise that we’re all in a race for life.
Michelle’s friend Mandy, who is Andy’s wife, who I work with and had done our fencing,patio and lawn,ran
the Race For Life today with our picture and name on her tee shirt.
The last week has been horrible and I hate arueing with Michelle and after a chat she has reluctantly decided
that whatever the results are on Wednesday she is going to the GP to see about stopping smoking.
Michelle has smoked since she was 14 years old and her dad died of lung cancer, so I hope everyone can see
where I’m coming from,but Michelle will have every excuse not to stop.
I love my wife to bits and will support her in any way I can,but on the same hand I can’t stand stand by
and watch her carry on smoking.
Anyway enough of smoking,here’s to the future race for our life and fingers crossed that Wednesday will turn
a page for us and we’ll carry on with our everyday battles.
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TBT6KDwH3NI/AAAAAAAAAD8/YOSS0Lm0Q1g/s1600/photo9999.jpg
2. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TBT0NusEXEI/AAAAAAAAADs/K5Ehx--AKTo/s1600/photo(2).jpg

Shopping & Diet (2010-06-14 17:56)

Easy day at work today and finished at 2.15pm and home for 2.30pm and met Michelle outside home to go
food shopping....... :))
Although food shopping with Michelle always costs me more,because although she’s on a diet every week as
soon as she see cakes,pork pies and crisps her diet usually stops!
It’s now just a waiting game until Wednesday when we get results from the latest CT,we are keeping
everything crossed that whatever it is on Michelle’s lungs has shrunk again.
Michelle has being kept bust arranging things for Leanne & Jame’s wedding in August,she’s doing all the
flowers for Leanne and has seen her wedding dress today but apparently she’s changing that now :)
And I’ve got to sort out with Mel which wedding car to choose for Leanne as a surprise.
All go this week because Michael the dog groomer is coming on Wednesday too,hospital Wednesday,shopping
for clothes on Friday for a Christening on Sunday.
And Michelle is meeting Simon on Tuesday because it’s his day off and him,Danni and her mum are moving
126
house from Coalville to Whitwick which means he’ll be closer to home now.
Don’t think Matt knows what to do in Ibiza,work is hard to find and we’ll see what happens.

Never Stop Worrying. (2010-06-15 20:11)

Our day started at midnight with Michelle not being able to sleep and complaining of stomach ache ”like
I’ve been kicked in the stomach”
I woke and got her a drink and two co-codamal but she headed to the bathroom and was sick for the first
time.
Then feeling rough and getting back in bed I took her temperature and gave her the tablets.
I think I could hear snoring so thought the tablets must of done the trick,but an hour or so later she was
sick again.
My alarm was set for 4am but knew I didn’t need it because I’d been awake since midnight and Michelle got
out of bed just before me to be sick again.
We think,and hope that it was a pork pie she’d eaten earlier in the day because that’s all she’d had different
to me
I arrived at work at 4.45am and was knackered but thinking about Michelle and like I always do thinking
the worst.
As with all these things I was hoping for an easy day,but sods law it was a busy day.
I spent most of the day worrying about Michelle and thinking that it may have something to do with
Michelle’s lungs.
I phoned Michelle at about 9.15am but there was no answer,so tried later and to my joy Michelle said she
was feeling better but tired.
She met up with Simon at mid-day and went to see the new house that he,Danni,her mum and new boyfriend
were renting.
It was a weight off my mind that she was feeling better :)
Back home and with salad stuff picked up on the way Michelle was feeling fine,phoned Kay to check what
time she was coming tomorrow.
So now we’ll both be having an early night and just want to get tomorrow’s results out of the way now.
Here’s to keeping everything crossed....................

127
CT Results And A Long Day (2010-06-19 09:12)

[1]

[2]
128
[3]

[4]
Wednesday morning I went into work for 5am so I could do my 4 hours work and get paid for a full day then
leave at 9am.
Got back home and changed out of my uniform and waited with Michelle for Kay turning up to take us to
Leicester Royal for the dreaded CT results.
On the way there I was very quiet because deep down I was very scared of the results of the CT scan,Michelle
& Kay were talking about all sorts of stuff so I let them get on with it.
We arrived about 10.50am for our 11.30am appointment and the waiting room was the quietest I’ve ever
seen it.
A nurse came after about 15 Min’s to say that DR Thomas,who actually treated my late uncle Albert for
cancer some years a go,was running an hour late but our consultant was on time.
About 11.40am a doctor in his late 20’s came around the corner and shouted out Michelle’s name and when
it wasn’t DR Simmonds we knew things wouldn’t go to plan.
We went into his room and I saw him holding two pieces of paper in his hand,and he went on the ask what
treatment Michelle had been having.
129
He then placed the two pieces of paper face down on the desk and took Michelle into the examination room
leaving Kay and myself alone in the room.
We were so tempted to look at the pieces of paper but resisted :)
Michelle came out of the room with a smile on her face and I asked her if she was OK and she said yes.
The doctor told Michelle that her cervical CT results were still OK and he didn’t need to see her for that
for another 3 months.
Each time I asked a question that wasn’t to do with her cervical I got the impression that he wanted to
brush over it and that he didn’t want to be drawn into anything else where as DR Simmonds will always
talk about cervical,lymphoma and her lungs.
After a few questions he did manage to tell Michelle that whatever it is on her lungs,because they still don’t
know,it has shrunk again.
Her lymphoma mass is still the same size but is pressing on one of her kidneys,which we could clearly see on
the screen so her ordered a blood test to make sure her kidney function is OK.
I mentioned that DR Simmonds was starting to call Prof Dyer,her lymphoma specialist into the room to
kill two birds with one stone but he wasn’t interested in that and said that he was writing to him with his
findings and they’d be in contact,which will mean a separate appointment.
Although we had good news it was frustrating for me having to push and ask question to get basic answers
all the time,and it’s always the way when you don’t see Michelle’s own consultants,his ’team’ never seem to
know as much.
Out of the hospital and on the way home Michelle wanted to show Kay a new nursery that I had found out
about last week when I took my mum there to see about Leanne’s wedding flowers.
Anyway Michelle is like a kid in a sweet shop with plants and flowers and bought another hanging basket
and some Lillie’s for Kay.
Out of there and back on the road and our next stop was The Bulls Head for lunch, and for Kay & Michelle
it was their usual meat pie with chips,peas and salad and my usual of chicken,bacon and cheese melt.
Kay drooped us off back home and she had to shoot off to pick the children up from school.
I dived into my car to take my mum to Loughborough hospital for some batteries for her earring aid,but it’s
never just that with my mum,it was via the bank,focus......
The traffic was mad and we were getting late so I took a short cut,now when Michelle’s in the car she always
puts her blue badge on the dash when we stop but my mum puts hers on the dash as soon as she gets in,so
my window was open and blue badge on the dash when I pulled out of a junction quickly and the blue badge
slid across the length of the dash and out of my open window onto the dual carriage way!
I had to pull up and dodge the traffic before anyway ran over it and then got back into the car, ” Where
have you been?” mum asked!!!
Mum dropped off and back home there was Michael the dog groomers van,he’d arrived late and when I
got in Michelle told me he was still doing the first dog so we knew it was going to be a late one and it
was........10.30pm when he left our house.
I think this is the longest blog day I’ve ever wrote!
FRIDAY 18Th JUNE 2010.
After work and an early finish it was off to Asda in Leicester because Michelle wanted to pick up a jacket
she’d seen earlier in the week when she’d been with Kay to wear for the Christening we’re going to on Sunday
morning.
Now Michelle nearly always wears black when she gets dressed up but today she bought a cream jacket and
trousers and tried on 5 different size bras,going up in size each time,but she got frustrated and left that.
Now it was food and snacks for watching England play on TV,along with a pack of 3 scotch eggs,which at
the till Michelle said to me ” Leave the scotch eggs on top so I can eat them on the way home” no change
there then lol.
SATURDAY 19Th JUNE 2010.
Today I am getting ear ache from Michelle about a list of jobs she’s got planned for me to do:
1) Try on my shirt to make sure it’s OK for tomorrow’s Christening.
130
2) Dig the garden boarders or phone ’Kung-Fu Dave’ up to do them for us.
3) Move one of the hanging basket brackets and then put my tools away.
3) Emulsion the hall by the back door
OMG I feel tired just thinking about it,and so for now I must put a finish to my longest ever blog and get
on with it before my ears burst!
1. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TByILPEGyRI/AAAAAAAAAEc/LAaoBPh_BB4/s1600/photo(8).jpg
2. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TByIKaM4szI/AAAAAAAAAEU/hZdFm-iYwSY/s1600/photo(7).jpg
3. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TByIJwXlz8I/AAAAAAAAAEM/fohZ-zYZ1Ek/s1600/photo(6).jpg
4. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TByIJfqP2YI/AAAAAAAAAEE/eghCZF6deUA/s1600/photo(3).jpg

Lilly’s Chistening. (2010-06-20 15:46)

[1]
Michelle asked for the alarm to be set for 6.45am this morning to wake up in time to get ready to go to John
& Keely’s daughter Christening.
I can get up at 4am every day for work in the week no problem,but when the alarm went off today it felt
like the middle of the night.
Michelle got up for a coffee,ciggy and to let the dogs out and I stayed in bed for as long as I could.
She came into the bedroom at 7.45am and we had to pick Michelle’s mum up at 8.30am so I had to get a
shift on,shower,shave,teeth and a cuppa and I was ready on time.
Michelle came down stairs in her new outfit and looked lovely,she usually wears black but her beige suit
looked fantastic.
We were then on the road to the nursing home and keeping our fingers crossed that Michelle’s mum Sheila
was ready and having a good day,because if it’s one of her bad days it can be a nightmare.
We pulled up and Michelle went in to collect her mum,then 10Min’s later she came out with Sheila who was
looking really well.
So then it was off to Shaun’s house and we were going to follow them there but in the end we all got into
one car and headed to Nottingham.
Parked the car up in the pub car park and walked down to the church where we found Tracy & Kay and
other people we didn’t know,like you do at these things.
We went inside for the 10am service,now Michelle & I aren’t really religious people and wasn’t looking forward
131
to it,but as it turned out the vicar was lovely as well as the church being really light and airy.
We sang the hymns and said the prayers like everyone else,but when he lit a candle for Lilly he started to
talk about the candle and flame being her guiding light and straight away I thought of the candle the Andy
& Emma always light for us at Lichfield Cathedral and it hit a cord with me that over the last year that has
been our guiding light.
Service over and it was a short walk up to the pub which Michelle & I did with Maureen who is Michelle’s
ex sister-in-law (with her in the photograph)they have always got on and as per the norm the conversation
turned to cancer and Michelle’s treatment.
I wasn’t drinking as I had to drive back home once I’d picked my car up from Shaun’s but Michelle was on
the white wine and buffet when that was opened.
Sitting out in the beer garden on a lovely sunny day was great and people kept telling Michelle how well she
looked and loved her new outfit.
Back home now and catching up with our blog and waiting for Adam calling after work to see his Dad on
Fathers day.
Out of our dressing up clothes and into our comfy clothes and spending the rest of the day chilling,I’ve been
so proud of Michelle today and I think you’ll agree that in the photo she’s looking so well.
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TB4vQ3KEFUI/AAAAAAAAAEk/uiFZjAQT7hs/s1600/photo.jpg

Champix & HGV Test (2010-06-21 17:40)

What a lovely hot day today,and at 4.45am it was 26 degrees.

At 10am today Adam took his HGV test which lasted for an hour,then just after I got a simple text that
said ’failed’. I tried to phone him back but he didn’t answer but phoned me back about an hour later to
tell me that he’d only got two minor points(you get up to 12 to pass) then he pulled off from the side of the
road 3 times whilst keeping his left indicator on and failed :(
He was gutted but I told him to put this test to the back of his mind and book another test as soon as he
can,at £250 a time! The whole course so far has cost him £1,100.
I finished at 2.15pm and was home for 2.30pm and earlier in the day had phoned our GP for Michelle to see
him about stopping smoking.
So we called into the post office on the way to pick some money up then onto the doctors.
We went into see our GP DR Lewis who I must say has been so good to us both over the last year.
Michelle got upset as soon as she sat down and it’s the thought of craving her cigarettes that she is most
worried about,and after smoking for so long I can fully understand that.
After a chat about patches and gum,which she’s tried before,he prescribed Champix.
It’s a tablet that works in 2 ways,firstly it’s stops the brain craving nicotine and secondly stops the smokers
getting pleasure from smoking.
It’s a 12 week course that if bought over the Internet would cost £440 and from what he said and the reviews
is the best available.
I’ll help her in any way that I can and hope that at the end of the 12 weeks she thinks its been worth it and
won’t see me as a bully that has had to push her to do this for her own health.

Too Hot To Do Anything. (2010-06-22 17:27)

Wow another scorcher today at 26 degrees!

Work is really quiet this week so finessed at 2.15pm again and went home with the intention of taking
Michelle clothes shopping,my treat but we were both too hot to do anything.
132
So I went out into the garden and onto the front drive with my ’Roundup’ weedkiller in hand and set about
getting rid of the annoying weeds coming through.
We’ve phoned ’Kung-Fu Dave’ the gardener we had last year and named ’Kung-Fu Dave’ as he teaches Andy’s
son Karate?!!? Anyway he’s coming next week to sort our boarders out and we’re OK with cutting the lawns
this year,and the new lawn has turned out to be my little baby and I feed it and look after it,although the
dog wee is causes drown patch’s of ’burn’ from the dogs wee and after looking on the Internet I’ve found
that adding tomato sauce to their food cuts down the acid in the wee :) and it seems to be working!
Yesterday the pharmacist had warned that if Michelle took her Champix too late in the day she wouldn’t be
able to sleep,she took it at 7pm and it had the opposite affect,I was awake from 2am from her snoring!
I phoned her today as I always do from work and she said ”Oooo I must of been tired then”
The plasma TV that Michelle bought me for Christmas and that’s in the bedroom broke last night,the left
half of the picture went black :(
So Michelle phoned Curry’s today and they are coming out on Friday to have a look at it,she’s none too
pleased that I told her England are playing tomorrow and that I’d have to watch it down stairs with her :)
I fancy doing something different and surprising Michelle this weekend but not sure what to do yet,might
take her to Matlock or Rutland Water.

Week Off And Broken TV (2010-06-25 15:59)

It’s the end of a hot week and even hotter to come with England playing Germany on Sunday afternoon.
I was talking to a customer on Thursday and asked how he was and it turned out he had a hangover after
watching England play on Wednesday night in the World Cup,and that got me thinking that if I have a few
beers Sunday afternoon I’d feel rubbish Monday morning so phoned my transport manager to see if it was
OK to book next week off work as holiday,and he said yes!
I haven’t told Michelle and am going to surprise her Monday morning when I don’t get up for work :)
Yesterday I picked Michelle up after work and took her to Leicester to treat her to some new clothes,she had
a field day and even bought a dress,and in all the years I’ve know her I think she’s only ever worn a dress
maybe 4 or 5 times.
A few vests,3/4 trousers,tee shirts and some sun glasses and she was sorted.
It’s nice to have a sort out of your old clothes and makes you feel better with new stuff.
The plasma that Michelle bought me at Christmas and in the bedroom has broken and the men from Curry’s
came today to mend it but ended up taking it away with him and said it was knackered :(
The workshop will have a look at it to see what they can do but if not they’ll send a voucher to get a new
one.
She said the 2 men that came were very funny and claimed that when one of them got up his knee cracked
and he joked that he’d have to put in a claim because of dodgy floor boards and then asked Michelle what
she did for a living and she told them a white lie that she worked for the CID,and she said the look on their
faces was priceless and even better when she told them she was joking.
We’ve had a letter through the post today for an appointment to see Michelle’s lymphoma consultant,Prof
Dyer on July 7TH at 11am.
We’re sure he may advise radiotherapy to shrink her lymphoma mass to stop it pressing on her kidney,but
as always we’ll have to wait and see.
It seems strange typing about radiotherapy and treatment as it seems so so long a go that Michelle was
having treatment,how so quickly time has flown by.
I think the BBQ will be out sometime over the next week and looking forward to spending a week off with
Michelle and the lovely weather.

133
It Always comes In Three’s. (2010-06-27 09:49)

They say when you have bad luck it always comes in three’s and that has been the case for us over the
weekend.
1ST: It was the TV breaking and the man from Curry’s having to take it away to be mended or not as the
case may be.
2ND: We went to see my mum yesterday and caught up with the family gossip.
She’d been to the GP’s yesterday because she’s lost 2 stone since Christmas,and her GP said that it could
be one of two things,either she’s not eating properly or cancer.
It makes my blood boil that they come out with such a statement with any tests or just cause,she’s 82 in
September and worried because she’s lost weight and the bloody GP says it may be cancer and in his own
words ”because you lose weight with cancer”
She’s being booked in to see a dietitian now,bit different to seeing an oncologist then?
Anyway we took her shopping and I loaded her up with foods full of carbohydrates in the hope that it might
build her up.
After dropping her off we went to Asda in Leicester and Michelle bought some more news clothes and varnish
for her toe nails.
On the way back down the M1 Michelle finished off a scotch egg,2 pork pies and a 99 from the ice cream
man,then bad luck number 2 happened.
We came the 8 miles down the motorway and as we came off the slip road to the give way the car cut
out,there were cars behind me so I had to put my hazards on and wave them by,how embarrassing :)
I left it 5 Min’s and it started again and we headed off home again,trying to having to avoid stopping but
we had to in the end at a right turn and it stopped again this time in the middle of the road,Michelle got
out and I pushed it across the junction to the side of the road,with the man in his 20’s sat in his car behind
me watching,thanks mate!
Half a mile down the road it cut out again so I phoned the Ford garage who unhelpfully said that the service
department weren’t open until Monday and they can’t do anything until then,so we waited and it started
then we just got home before it cut out and we rolled onto the drive.
3RD: I was catching up with things on the PC when our neighbour Mark stuck his head over the fence to
tell me our overflow was dripping,which I knew had been happening for about a month but kept putting the
job off.
Seeing as Mark was on the case I thought I’d better tackle the job by bending the ball cock rod down to cut
of the dripping,easy I thought until a bit came off in my hand and then I had to shout Michelle who was in
bed to go downstairs to turn off the mains supply.
It’s now done temporarily but now I need to go and get a new one and fit it before England play Germany
in the world cup.
So there are our 3 things of bad luck,but it’s not all been bad because Tracy and Kay called around last
night for 45 Min’s as they’d dropped Christopher off at a party and they’d stay until it was time to pick him
up.
So out came the beers and we had a lovely time sat in the garden,eating burgers,sausage,fried onions and
salad.
Michelle & Kay went to pick Christopher up and called into Focus on the way and Kay bought a rattan
patio set,leaving me and Tracy with our beers and talking TVs and surround sound.
Anyway I’ve watered all the plants and now better go and get a ball cock and get it sorted,although in this
heat I’d rather give it a miss :)
UPDATE: I turned on the hot water tap which in return started to fill the header tank with water and soak
all the towel and let water out through the ceiling near the back door. Doh!

134
2.7 July

And relax........... (2010-07-01 19:12)

I’m half way through my week off work and have done a big fat nowt!
I’ve even turned my mobile off for a couple of days and to be honest it’s been great doing nothing.
I now feel a bit guilty though and feel it’s been a bit of a wasted week so going to make and effort and some
plans to do something,but not like work or painting lol.
Monday saw the first day of Michelle stopping smoking,and it’s now Thursday and she’s doing well.
The first ciggy of the day that always had to be done,isn’t bothering her now and she doesn’t have that
craving.
The course lasts for 12 weeks and her GP has also given her another sick note for 12 weeks.
It’ll be a hard test when she goes back to work because all her friends smoke and they all have their secret
smoking place.
Leanne,James,Adam,mum,Jamie and my ex wife(great!) came around this week to sort a few things out for
Leanne & James wedding in August.
Being as it’s all very short notice I’m trying to sort things out,although great credit must go to Leanne &
James because they’ve sorted a lot of things out for themselves.
I’ve enlisted the help of Manda who is so kindly designing the ’Order Of Service’ cards and I think she’s
enjoying the task :)
Eastender on now,although I don’t watch it myself :) lol,so I’ll go and sit with Michelle

Breakdown, Hunger and Stomach Ache. (2010-07-03 10:12)

After a wasted week we were determined to make the most of Friday,and we did!
I went up to Coalville Ford to book the car in to sort the cutting out problem,Monday morning is the earliest
so I’ll drop it off at 4.30am then get a lift into work from there.
Quick visit to the barbers for a trim,and Michelle likes my hair a bit longer,so told the barber I was growing
my hair for a wedding :)
I got back home and Michelle was ready for our action packed day,we left the house at 10.30am and our first
visit of the day was to ’nip in for 5 Min’s’ to King Edward V11 College where Michelle works to catch up
with everyone.
As soon as we walked into reception Michelle darted into David Riley’s room,he’s the colleges site manager,and
after 20 Min’s in there where he was showing us photo’s of his mum on holiday in Australia? I’d had enough
and was so hot.
Michelle made her move to reception,and each time she saw everyone they all mentioned how well she looked
and commented about her curly hair.
She missed her friend Laura who gone out and wouldn’t be back until later.
Next was the design block where Michelle works,and Tina met us at the door to buzz us in,Tina’s lovely and
we both get on really well with her,and she teaches cookery and makes great cakes :)
Danni,Mickey and an endless stream of teachers I don’t all came up and hugged Michelle and said how well
she looked.
As I see Michelle every day it’s hard to notice the changes in her but watching the smile on her face when
she was with her friends made me realise how well she does look.
We’d planned to go to Matlock for the day and it was now 11.30am and it was an hours drive away but we
don’t um and argh about things anymore and set off down the M1 for 1 junction,then coming off the slip
road the car started going funny again.
The rev counter was going up and down so we decided it wasn’t safe to go to Matlock and headed back
135
home.
Just got past East Midlands Airport and I pulled up to call the local Ford garage to see if we could bring
the car in early and have a courtesy car, and then the car cut out.
The garage told me to phone the AA as we were covered through motorbility,so I did.
After repeating the registration 3 times the patient lady on the other end said that she had no records of
our car or cover....great!
She then checked a data base and it was the RAC that we were under,cheers Mr Ford man.
Another call to the RAC and a very kind lady who was so helpful sorted us out,after trying to work out
what road we were on ;)
Michelle was now moaning that she was hungry and said that we should of broken down outside a pub.
After an hour the break down man turned up,connected his laptop to the car and found out it was a fuel
pressure sensor.
So he told us to drive back to the Ford garage and he’d follow just in case we broke down again,which we
did 3 times on the way.
Finally got to the garage and rolled into a parking space as it cut out again,the nice RAC man followed us
into the garage to explain the fault to the man on reception.
Then followed the battle for a courtesy car,firstly the lady from the RAC on the phone said that the patrol
man would take us to East Midlands Airport for a hire car,the patrol man said you have to phone motorbility
to get one delivered to your home,the garage man said they hadn’t got any more courtesy cars left until
Monday.
Then Michelle kicked off a bit and said that she was worried about not having a car and had got a hospital
appointment next week,the all of a sudden the garage man had ”just found some keys to a courtesy car that
had just come back” what a stroke of luck eh? :)
” It’s only a KA but it’s better that walking” he said.
So off to the car park to find a grey 2010 Ford KA that was ours for the weekend.
We headed back home to let the dogs out and make sure they were OK and I phoned my mate Gaz at work
to ask him about a pub that he goes to that does 1/3RD off meals between 3pm and 7pm.
With Michelle starving we headed to the petrol station to put some fuel in our new car,which the nosey
neighbours will think IS our new car now.
Then off to The Gate Inn at Osbaston for a meal.
It’s a lovely pub in the middle of no where and really quiet at 3.30pm when we got there,so shandy for me
and Tia Maria and Britvic 55(in separate glass’s) for Michelle and then we sat down at our table.
To cut a long story short we ended up with a combo starter consisting of 2 potato skins,4 chicken wings,8
breaded mushrooms,4 onion rings,and 2 dips and after that I was full.
Then Michelle had steak & ale pie,mushy peas and chips where as I had blue cheese and mushroom burger
on a bun and chips,and by now my stomach was really hurting.
Then they bought out the cheese and biscuits that Michelle had ordered and two plates,and I wasn’t going
near it or I’d burst but Michelle managed to wolf the lot.
On the drive home I felt so tired and full but Michelle wanted to call in to Jolly’s to pick the dogs up some
pigs ears and sausages,then Poundstreacher for... I can’t remember what and Focus ”to have a quick look
round”
Back home and the dogs running around on the lawn I collapsed on the sofa and Michelle was fine.
Then about 8pm Michelle started to get really bad stomach ache from all the food she’d had,so she started
off by pulling her jogging bottoms down so they weren’t pressing on her stomach and eventually took them
off :)
A bath at 9pm to try and relax her stomach and then follwed a night of tossing and turning and moaning
about how her stomach hurts.
She woke this morning to say ” I’m never eating that much again”.......we’ll see!!

136
Shopping...Hospital....Plants............ (2010-07-04 15:21)

The weekend and my week off work is nearly over,it started lazy and quiet and has ended in go go go!
Yesterday we called to see my mum and to take her food shopping at Morrison’s,Michelle decided to try and
squeeze into the back of the KA to give mum more room in the front.
When my mum sat down I noticed how thin her legs looked through her trousers,worryingly thin to be
honest.
She’s got a podiatry appointment tomorrow and then seeing the dietitian on Thursday so I hope they sort
something out for her.
So safely in the car and off to the shops we went,I say shops because it’s never just one shop with my mum
but she never tells you that until your out :)
Of course Michelle had to buy her cream cakes,remember when she hated cream when she was on chemo?
That seems a distant memory now.
OK food shopping done and home now mum? No into the precinct to Home Bargain’s,so dropped them both
off at the top of the precinct and found a disabled bay and had a choice of Michelle or mum’s blue badges
to use.
Car parked and I caught them up,into the shop and half way round when my mobile rang and it was Leaane’s
boyfriend James.
He said that Leanne had been admitted to Leicester Royal hospital last night and they’d discharged her this
morning but she had no one to pick her up,so I cut the shopping short and headed back to the car.
Dropped Michelle and mum off at our house and drove over to Leicester.
When I got there Leanne was waiting outside on her own and looked really tired,she went on to tell me that
James had got food poisoning from an Indian takeaway the day before and although she hadn’t had any the
doctors said that she could still of got it off him and she was dehydrated because she couldn’t even keep
water down.
they’d put her in a room on her own over night and then discharged her at 10.30am when Adam was supposed
to pick her up but let her down,which I’m not happy about at all but that’s for another day.
We chatted about her wedding and different things on the way home and dropped her off at her mum’s new
house,which I haven’t been to before but the street was so narrow and my initial thoughts were that the
wedding car won’t fit down here unless the street is clear on the day.
Leanne safely back home with her mum it was back home to pick mum up and drop her off back home.
She was moaning that Lucy wouldn’t leave her alone when Michelle made her a ham sandwich and then the
cat jumped up behind her back :)
Dropped her off home and then Michelle wanted to go to her favourite new nursery in Newtown Linford
near Bradgate Park,on the way nipped into put some fuel in the car and buy a 3 pack of cream cakes for
Michelle,which she ate before we got to the nursery.
We got there for 4pm so had an hour before it shut,Michelle wanted to buy ANOTHER hanging basket but
we’re running out of wall space so she opted for a new longer bracket for the baskets she’d already got.
Out of there and she wanted to go to Asda and I knew that meant looking for clothes and shoes,and I was
right.
Michelle never used to bother half as much about new stuff but just lately she loves new clothes and shoes
etc and as long as she’s happy so am I.
She tried on loads of stuff and bought sandals,tops,legging etc all the usual girly stuff.
I spotted the ice-cream man again outside and asked her if she wanted one, ”No I’ve got to calm down with
my food” she said which I know means OK but I shouldn’t really.
So with the biggest 99 with sauce & nuts that they did we were off on the M1 and heading back home.
Today we’ve watered the plants,which takes forever,and I mowed the grass whilst Michelle made a cuppa.
Then a quick nip up to Wilkinsons to pick a few things up then Morrison’s AGAIN for a cooked chicken and
stuff because she fancies a Sunday dinner today.
We chatted about smoking in the car on the way up because it’s one week tomorrow since she stopped,and
137
she said the tablets she’s on are brilliant because she doesn’t have the cravings and doesn’t even think about
smoking like she has done in the past,I am so proud of what she’s done because I know how hard it is for
her.
Just chilling out now,I’m typing this blog whilst Michelle watches Big Brother that she’s recorded whilst
eating two lots of cream cake.
back to work tomorrow but an early finish on Wednesday because we’re off to see Michelle’s lymphoma
consultant at the hospital.

Hospital Appointment (2010-07-07 15:27)

I did my 4 hours at work to finish at 9am to go with Michelle & Kay to Leicester Royal for a check up with
her lymphoma consultant.
Kay arrived at 10am and off we shot to the hospital,and of course I got the blame because there was a queue
for the car park.
So then inside and blood test before sitting down in the waiting room,and to be honest between us three we
were the loudest in there laughing and joking and sometimes getting the disgusted look from some patients.
The horrible consultant who wrongly told Michelle she had just months to live was there and I advised
Michelle to tell the nurse on reception that she didn’t want to be seen by him.
It was a nurse she gets on well with and when Michelle told her she didn’t want to be seen by him the nurse
replied ” Why ever not Michelle?” in a jokey sarcastic voice because she knew what had happened in the
past.
There was a man sat in front of us with his wife and the said consultant called out a name and walked off
expecting you to follow and find him like he always does,the man stood up and walked towards him but
had mis-heard the name and it wasn’t for him,he sat back down and his wife wiped her brow and mouthed
’Phew’ as to say they were glad they hadn’t got him,guess they’ve seen his treatment before.
An hour and half later a lady Indian consultant called Michelle’s name out and immediately my heart sunk
because we’d seen her favourite Prof Dyer and DR.Kennedy earlier and had hoped we’d be able to see one
of them,as it turned out the lady consultant was really nice and explained things really well.
The main out come is that Michelle is going to have a biopsy on her lymphoma mass to see if it is still the
lymphoma,whether it’s from her cervical or it’s simple a gristle mass left over after her previous treatment.
They gave her a choice to have the biopsy now or being as she was in good health leave it for a while and have
it at a later date,but Michelle and the consultant decided between them that it would only be on Michelle’s
mind if she left it,so she’ll be having that in the next two weeks and the follow up appointment for results
will be in six weeks time.
Once they know exactly what it is they can then decide if any further treatment is needed,so more waiting
and not knowing which is the cancer patient & carers biggest hate.
I was a little quiet after and the natural bad thoughts came into my head,but with time you get used to
dealing with them a little better and shut them out of your mind as best you can.
Michelle was apprehensive about having a biopsy done but she’s had one before and she mentioned that it
would never compare to the pain of having a bone marrow biopsy.
On the way home we called into The Bulls Head at Greenhill,although originally Kay was going to rush back
home as the builders were there at her house still doing their extension,we ended up having a meal.
I got a few recipe ideas from Kay and because she’s Greek she does a fantastic stuffed vine leaf and she told
me all the ingredients for it,yum yum.
After catching up on all the family gossip we headed back home and Kay dropped us both off.
When we got back Kung-Fu Dave the gardener had been to dig and weed the boarders for us,he does make
a good job and sprays a weed killer that kills the weeds in the boarders but not the plants,although a bit
expensive this time £63 for 3 boarders :(
138
So now it’s 4pm and Michelle has gone across the road to see Janette about moving Mick’s van off our
drive,he put it there 3 to 4 months a go after it failed it’s MOT and we just thought it would be for a couple
of weeks.
It’s now got weeds growing under it and we want it moved because it makes the front look a mess.
Leanne is driving me mad with her wedding plans and one day it’s 4pm then the vicar changes it and it’s
4,30pm and now it’s 4pm again!
Then her ushers or bridesmaids change and it’s only 7 weeks now until she gets married and I’m trying to
lose some weight to fit into a suit that I haven’t even bought yet! :))
I expect that everything will be fine on the day but I just like to get everything sorted so we know where we
are.

Sad News (2010-07-09 21:42)

Tonight the phone rang and the answer machine came on as normal.
Michelle was in the bath and I was watching TV upstairs,so I listened to the muffled message but made out
it was about Sylvia and cancer.
When Michelle got out of the bath I got her to listen to the message and phone the number back.
When Michelle was having treatment she met a lady called Sylvia from Melton Mowbray and they both got
on really well and had a laugh together along with Kay whilst they were lay there having their chemotherapy.
I’d met Sylvia and spoken to her on the phone when Michelle had been in hospital and she was a lovely lady.
The phone call was from Sylvia’s daughter to say that she’d passed away.
I can remember the last time we saw Sylvia and her daughter like it was yesterday,they were sat by the
drinks machine at Oncology waiting for a lift home whilst Michelle was looking for a new bandanna from
the Macmillan shop.
She’d been told by DR.Simmonds that her cervical cancer was in remission and she was really pleased and
Michelle was too,really chuffed for her.
And to think that now she is gone is so so sad and her daughter got upset on the phone and said that she
feels so alone.
It’s upset Michelle as they got on really well,and it’s also worried her because Sylvia’s situation was similar
to Michelle’s.
Sylvia had gone into remission with cervical cancer but then,like Michelle a year a go,Sylvia’s stomach swelled
up and she had to have it drained,but on the second draining the tests showed the fluid was cancerous,unlike
Michelle’s drained fluid that was clear.
Michelle has now started to panic that her biopsy might be bad news when she’s had it and gets the results.
It’s so hard to explain that everyone is different and being a carer I can’t understand what it’s like to actually
have cancer.
I’ll continue to support Michelle as always but it does bring it home that this bloody cancer is very real and
doesn’t care who it affects.

Bloody Car! (2010-07-11 20:10)

Saturday was roasting hot and after watering the plants in the morning we didn’t feel like moving far,but
after a while we got bored and Michelle suggested a trip to Asda to buy Christopher a birthday cake and
present for tomorrow
Michelle has been a bit upset again today about Sylvia and still can’t believe she’s gone and Michelle is still
here,she’s done really well with her emotions over the last 14 months so being this upset is quite unusual for
139
Michelle.
So going out for a drive was a good idea of hers,although we thought!
Down the M1 and we came off for Fosse Park,all was going well until we entered Asda’s car park and the
car cut out again with a queue of traffic behind me mouthing ”what’s he doing?” and after a while I stuck
my head out of the window and shouted ”I’ve bloody broke down”
So we decided to go into Asda and phone the RAC after,so trolley sorted and Michelle headed straight for
the clothes :) whilst I stood there with the other husbands doing the watching game and hoping that they
weren’t going to be much longer.
Out of Asda and made our way back to the car via the ice cream man for Michelle.
40 Mins later and the nice RAC man was there and basically said that he couldn’t do anything and offered
to follow us the 10 miles back to Coaville Ford,and ’honk your horn if you have a problem’
Off we set and half way down the motorway Michelle said she could smell burning but I told her not to
worry,then I lost all power and had to pull onto the hard shoulder and when the RAC man lifted the bonett
the turbo was smoking !
So he attached a bar and towed me back with Michelle sat in the van with him,where she found out his sister
was having treatment for breast cancer.
Safely back to the garage and the kind man was going to take us to East Midlands Airport to collect a hire
car,but luckily for me an old friend who I used to work with years a go and was now the manager of the
Ford garage was there so he sorted us a Feista replacement car.
We drove from the garage to Morrison’s to pick some beer up and I decided to phone the RAC to praise
the patrol driver,I mean I think people are always too ready to phone up and complain but never to praise
someone,the lady was so pleased and said that our thanks would be passed on to his mananger.
Today it was Kay & Tracy’s son Christopher’s 9th birthday so we were invited over for something to eat.
Shaun & Viv,Mary & John(Kay’s mum & dad) and John and Keeley were there and Tracy turned up half
hour later after picking Sheila up via the pub!
As always Kay’s food was lovely and we sat in the garden eating and drinking all afternoon.
Michelle got upset and had a cry with Kay about Sylvia because they both knew her and all 3 had been
through all the stages of cervical cancer treatment together.
Michelle keeps worrying now that her biopsy results will be bad and can’t understand that Sylvia was in
remmision and then died of cancer.
I hate seeing Michelle upset and in the car on the way home she said it was because people were asking her
about what the biopsy and results involved and it was a combination of everythink that finally made her cry.
Back home now and it’s a lovely evening and it’s nights like this that I wish I hadn’t got to go to bed early
and be up at 4am.
Over the last two weeks Michelle has got into the habit of coming to lay on the bed with me before I go to
sleep,she like to lay her head on my stomach whilst I stroke her hair,which she has always loved since she
was a child and it relax’s her and sends her to sleep.
She always says it’s only for a couple of minuites but ends up being an hour........ooooo I love you Michelle
do much :)

Biopsy Date Set (2010-07-12 20:20)

I had a really quiet day at work and was pleased because I’ve had awful pain in my lower stomach since last
night and haven’t slept well,so I call my manager and he let me home early after doing my drops,I got home
for 11.30am and took 2 co-codamal and went to bed.
Michelle hadn’t slept well either Sunday night so she came for a lay down and we both fell asleep,we were
woken by the phone ringing and it was the lady consultant from the hospital to tell Michelle she was booked
in for her biospsy this Wednesday at 8am.
140
At least there will be no waiting and although Michelle is apprehensive she just wants to get it out of the
way.
I’ve stayed in bed now all day and my stomach is still hurting,so if it’s no better tomorrow I’ll have to phone
the GP after work.

My Turn At The Doctors (2010-07-13 18:08)

Today at work felt like it lasted forever,I suppose I shouldn’t of gone to work really but with the amount of
time I’ve already had off I feel a bit guilty.
I woke up with the pains still in my lower stomach so headed off to work with a foil of co-codamol tablets.
I phoned Michelle half way through today and all she’s had is stress,firstly from the annoying neighbour that
harped on again about the fence being on her side and how only one person came to view their house and
he was put off because there was a boundary dispute(although there is no official dispute and she told him
anyway,pull the other one!)
Then we found out that Kay can’t take Michelle to the hospital for her biopsy on Wednesday,so my manager
at work Clive has told me to come in for 2 hours and get away for 7am to get Michelle to the hospital for
8am,how lucky am I to have an employer like mine? They have been fantastic to me.
Also today we’ve found out that Matt is coming back from Ibiza,how long for who knows but he lands at
East Midlands Airport at 12.30pm this Thursday.
He’s already arranging his nights out in Ashby for this Friday,so our peace and quiet along with one spare
bedroom will be well & truly shattered.
After work I had an appointment with my GP to see about my stomach ache,with Michelle tagging along
for good luck.
She came in with me like you were going with your mum,she sat down and said it was a nice change that it
was me that was seeing DR Lewis and not her.
I really rate DR Lewis because he’s always been spot on with his treatment of Michelle and me.
He took my temperature,blood gas etc and then examined me and asked me what I thought it was? Eh?
Had he got it the wrong way round,he was supposed to be telling me? lol
Anyway in 2005 I had diverticulitis disease and had a major 6 hour op that resulted in me losing a chunk of
my large intestine,and now it’s come back :(
I’ve got two antibiotics to take for 48 hours and then need to go back to see him,if all is OK I just carry on
taking the tablets,if not I have to go into hospital for IV antibiotics.....great :(
Early bed for me tonight,Michelle won’t sleep because she’s worried about tomorrow’s biopsy and I won’t
sleep because I’m worried about her and keeping everything crossed these tablets work for me.

Biopsy (2010-07-14 09:53)

I thought I’d try and write our blog today using my mobile and as it happens.
Went into work at 5am and got away for 6.50am; home and changed and we were off to Leicester Royal,the
traffic was fine and we arrived 1/2 early so had a coffee in reception that cost me a quid because the machine
kept the change :(
At 8am we headed to the day ward for bloods,it was so quiet and we were the first people in there.
This is the ward where Michelle had all her chemo and she says she could taste the chemo still,but it was all
in her mind.
It took 4 attempts at getting blood in 4 different areas of her arm and then the nurse had forgotten one of
the sample bottles so had to jab her again,so she was covered in cotton wool and tape.
141
At 9.45am a lady porter came to collect Michelle with a chair,the nurse in charge asked her ”What’s the
name of the person you’ve come to Collect?” The porter replied ” Oh I don’t know they just sent me up”
”Well it could be anyone can you check please” the nurse asked the porter,so she got onto her radio and came
back,V”Hoover is it Mrs Hoover?”
After about 10 Min’s it was finally sorted and she wheeled Michelle down to CT,she’s just gone in to change
into a gown and came back out so we’re now sat waiting for her to go in........
A lady has just turned up in a wheel chair and her and Michelle have got on to talking about food,she been
fasting for 2 days and Michelle hasn’t had anything to eat since last night,I feel like getting a pork pie out
of my pocket!
Ooo that lady has just gone in and 2 doctors have gone into the room with a trolley,gowns etc I assume
ready for Michelle.
It’s now 10.45am and still waiting.......Michelle has decided she wants to play ”let’s compare nose size,then
ears and fingers!”
She’s getting nervous now as there must of been 10-15 people gone through the door in the last half hour.
About 10 Min’s a go the doctor came out to explain to Michelle what was going to happen.
It’s now 11.25am and she just walked into the CT room and they’ve told her it will last about 40Min’s.
I’ve got her handbag and clothes and don’t fancy walking around with them through the hospital so I’ll wait
here........
40Min’s later and I got called into the CT room to wait with Michelle until a nurse and porter came to take
her back to the ward,she looked tired and cold so I put her cardigan around her and tried to cheer her up
but did too good a job because she was laughing so much her face went red.
The registrar that did the biopsy told Michelle that he had to go in 6 times to get good samples because
lymphoma is notorious for breaking up when trying to biopsy it, but he was pleased with the samples and
told Michelle that he thought the mass looked well,he went on to say that cancer shows up really tight knitted
and close but Michelle’s looked broken up which was a good sign and he seems to think it all looked clear.
We’ve never had anyone tell us any type of results like that straight after any treatment,and although it’s
still got to be seen by specialists he seemed very positive.
Back on the ward and Michelle has to lay on her back for 4-6 hours.
There is a 29 year old lady who Michelle has been talking to whilst I went to fetch her a McDonald’s
milkshake,she has lymphoma and today is her first chemo treatment,she been told she had cancer after
having her baby.
So Michelle is telling her all the In’s and outs of chemo and trying to reassure her because she quite frightened.
As her chemo started she thought she’d feel the chemo drug ’going in’ and was surprised she hadn’t.
Michelle lay there with her milkshake & chocolate like an old pro.
It’s now 3.05pm so hopefully we’ve only got an hour and half left,Michelle has fallen asleep on the bed and
is snoring,which is quite funny because people are looking at her :)
Just before 4pm a doctor came to check on Michelle to see how she was and said that she was allowed home.
Quick change into her clothes and we were in the car as quick as you like!
Phone Kay on the way home to tell her what had gone on during the day and got back home at 5pm.
It’s our last night of peace before Matt arrives home from Ibiza,so it’s a takeaway and relaxing night for
Michelle after being very brave today ;)

Manda and Pete (2010-07-14 22:19:21)

Hope she got a plaster! Brave girls get plasters!

142
Matt’s Back (2010-07-15 20:26)

Matt’s plane touched down at 12.30pm at East Midlands airport today and his mate ’Burger’ picked him
up.
After seeing his mates he arrived back home at 6pm looking VERY tanned and VERY thin,he’s been sleeping
on mates floors,sofa’s and the beach and said that ” It’s so nice to come back to a clean home and be able
to eat whenever you want”,sounds like he’s been living the life of a tramp!
He’s now gone out to meet up with 20 mates for a ’welcome back’ drink.
Our blog today is dedicated to our friends in Lancashire Manda & Pete because they’ve both got tough times
a head and we send them our love.
We have always lit a candle in our garden for our friends Manda & Pete and Andy & Emma but tonight
Michelle wants to light a special candle for Manda & Pete for them to have a light to follow,just like the
vicar said at that Christening a couple of weeks a go.
It’s a short blog today,Michelle is feeling OK after yesterday and my tablets have done the job for me so
we’re both OK.
Live this life,you only get one go...............

No Exciting Title....Normal Weekend. (2010-07-18 10:10)

Our weekend started when I finished work Friday afternoon and shot home to get my uniform off.
For the last 3 Friday’s we’ve been going to The Gate Inn at Osbaston for a meal,mainly because between
3pm and 7pm you get a third off your bill :)
So off we set to eat! arriving there about 3.15pm and we pigged out this time(because I was paying?) and
as usual our stomach’s were full to bursting by the time we got away.
Matt was supposed to be coming with us but along with the half of suitcase full of clothes he lost in Ibiza
his phoned packed up too so he’s borrowed Michelle’s nice pink one and it had no signal so we couldn’t call
him to say what time we were going.
We had a quiet Friday night then whilst Matt went to Ashby to see the owner of the club he was resident
at before he went ti Ibiza to arrange his set for next week when he’s playing a DJ set before Kaiser Chiefs
& Baby Shambles play!
After a lazy morning on Saturday we decided to risk a journey in our car after it came back from the garage
with a new fuel pump fitted.
First stop was Coalville and to the lady that did our balloons for our wedding nearly 6 years a go(6 years
on July 24TH) to sort out Leanne & James balloons for their wedding.
Michelle picked the type and colours and it was her treat for them so she paid and then headed into the
precinct where Michelle spotted some bridesmaid shoes that looked nice,so I took a photo and sent it to
Leanne.
We then braved a ride to Leicester and all was fine with the car :)
I got Michelle a couple of tops and some stuff for spag bol for tonight,although Michelle said that she’s going
on a diet now because we saw one of her work friends on the way to Coalville earlier and she said that
Michelle had put some weight on.
On the way back from Leicester we called into the hairdressers where after some detective work we finally
found Claire her favourite hairdresser that had left her old job and set up a shop with a friend.
Claire is going to colour and highlight Michelle’s hair a week before the wedding and although it’s her day
off on the wedding day Claire said that she’ll come in at 9am especially to do Michelle’s hair.
Back home and Mick’s van had gone from our drive.....YEAH!
He asked to put it there about 3 or 4 months a go after it failed it’s MOT and he couldn’t fit it on his
drive,but we thought it would only be for a couple of weeks.
143
It had weeds growing under it so we had a word and he sold it and the man came to collect it whilst we were
out.
So even before unloading the car I got my newly purchased clippers out of the car and trimmed back next
doors forest that had grown over the top of our fence,dug a trench to bury the green Virgin Media cable that
had been sat on top of the stones for about 2 years,weeded and sprayed week killer.
Whilst I was doing that Michelle picked the clipping’s up and Matt drilled some holes for two more hanging
baskets Michelle had bought from her new favourite nursery on the way back from Leicester.
All the leaves me to do today is paint the fence but it’s looking a bit over cast so I might get away with it,I
mean it needs to be sunny all day for me to do it ;)
It’s now a lazy Sunday morning at 10.35am and Michelle is still asleep in bed,Matt arrived back home about
an hour a go after spending the night clubbing in Birmingham with his mates and I’m watching the weather
and keeping my fingers crossed that the sun doesn’t come out so then I’ll have to get my brush out.

Our 6TH Wedding Anniversary (2010-07-25 10:51)

I can’t believe how quick a week has gone by since I lasted blogged,although nothing really exciting happened
to tell everyone.
Yesterday on Saturday 24TH July 2010 is was our 6TH wedding anniversary,and that time has shot by.
I woke up and came down stairs to find a card from Michelle and we said that we weren’t going to buy each
other presents this year.
But earlier this year when Michelle was told she only had months to live I didn’t even know if she’d be here
for our wedding anniversary so I wanted to make it special.
Michelle has never really bothered about ’girly stuff’ but over the last few months she taken to painting her
nails,getting girly clothes,make up etc and she wanted some gold stud earrings.
So off I went into town before she got up and got her a card,balloon and a pair of gold & diamond stud
earrings.
I got back home and she was up so I had to sneak into the dining room to write her card out and sort her
present.
I shouted her in and she loved it all,I love to see that smile on her face :)
She now had me planned to paint the front fence and put the irrigation system for the hanging baskets up,on
our anniversary? !!
Just as I was about to get my tools the phone rang and it was Kay to ask us if we’d like to go out for lunch
with Tracy and the kids.
She asked if we’d got anything planned for the day and i told her about the DIY that I had to do,she told
me that can wait until another day so I said ”OK then!”
Kay was going to pick us up at 2pm to go to The Grey Lady which is a really nice posh place in the middle
of no where.
Kay picked us up at 2.20pm and we headed off to the pub,Tracy was already there sat in the beer garden.
The weather was lovely and Kay hadn’t realised that it was our wedding anniversary,she just phoned us on
the off chance we’d be available to go out.
After a couple of ciders for me and Tia Maria’s for Michelle we had some cheese nachos and dips.
The day was just beginning and Tracy had a lot more drinking planned for us.
Back in the car and off to Shepshed where Michelle and her family are from and where Tracy & Kay now
live.
The first stop off was The Bull & Bush for another cider,then bitter and more Tia Maria followed by The
Pied Bull where we propped up the bar again for a couple of hours.
Michelle saw an old school friend in that pub and he’d heard about Michelle’s cancer(can never get away
from it but it does get talked about less and less these days)and he said how well he thought Michelle looked
144
after dealing with two types of cancer.
We’d still got Tracy & Kay’s dog Duke with us because he’s allowed in all the pubs in Shepshed so we had
to call in at their house to drop him off before we went for something to eat.
Whilst there we had a look around their extension and Tracy sorted the drinks out but he was low on alcohol
so I ended up with Gin & Coke?!!
The day wasn’t turning out like we’d planned but was great and it was about 8pm by now and Michelle was
still downing her drinks.
Back in the car with Kay driving because she wasn’t drinking and off to the local Indian in Shepshed,but
when we got there the car park was full so Tracy called from the car to see if there were any tables available
using a made up name!
They were fully booked up so it was off to Poppadoms,another Indian in Shepshed.
We had a fantastic meal,more beers,wine and Tia Maria and with Tracy being very cheeky after paying the
bill and asking where our complimentary shorts were!
The owner bought us all a shot glass of ice and Baileys plus two glasses of brandy which Tracy and Michelle
downed in one!
Back in the car and Tracy wanted us to go back to their house again for a night cap but we were done and
needed to take the dogs out when we got back.
Kay dropped us off about 11pm and I headed straight for bed whilst Michelle sat with the dogs and had a
coffee.
This morning Michelle has woken up to the mother of all hangovers,she said her heads spinning and she was
thirsty.
So just as I got out of bed to make her a drink she said to me ”Do you know what I could just eat right now?
A fried egg cob with brown sauce”
Frying pan out and kettle on to get her sorted whilst I turned the sprinkler on to water the grass and plants.
Fed and watered she was happy and stayed in bed until 11am,but she’s up now and hounding me about the
jobs I should of done yesterday,oh no she never forgets :)
So today I think we’ll be chilling out,drinking lots of fluid and generally feeling sorry for ourselves,ahhhhh
ALCOHOL so nice when your drinking it..............

Sleeping Tablets (2010-07-27 11:17)

After work yesterday we drove over to B &Q in Loughborough to get some extra tubing to finish off the
irrigation system for our hanging baskets.
On the way back we called into Morrison’s for ingrediants to make my famous curried shepherd’ pie along
with some Nytol tablets Michelle wanted to try because she’s not slept properly for months.
Back at home and I was about to start making tea when I had a thought that I should phone the GP’s to
make sure Michelle was OK to take the Nytol at the same time as her smoking tablet Champix.
On the phone and talking to the receptionist and she said that Michelle had missed an appointment earlier
at 3.30pm to see Dr. Lewis about how the Champix and stopping smoking was going,luckily they had an
appointment at 5pm avaliable.
So off to GP’s and spent the time in the waiting room people watching,most of them were pregnant so it
was pretty uneventful.
We got called in and Michelle had a list of things to ask,firstly they spoke about the Champix and all’s well
there as it’s now week 5 for Michelle of no smoking :)
Next question Michelle had was embarrasing for us both so I won’t go into it too much but basically down
below has been painful for Michelle and Dr. Lewis basically said that it’s a small price to pay for life saving
treatment and may prescribe estrogen at a later date.
Last question was about not being able to sleep and was it OK to take the Nytol tablets?
145
As most GP’s they are not fans of herbal tablets and said she’d be better off with sleeping tablets,something
Michelle has always been against as she’s worried she’d get addicted to them.
Dr. Lewis explained he’d given her 28 tablets and hopefully after 3 weeks her normal sleeping pattern would
return.
OMG within 5 mins of Michelle getting into bed she was snoring like an old pig! I lost count how many
times I had to nudge her to turn over.
Then at 4.30am this morning there was a knock on the front door where I was greeted by two police
women......oh god bad news was the 1st thing that came into my mind.
They wanted to know about a White corsa that Simon’s girlfriend Danni had sold 2-3 years previous as it
was apparently still registered at our address and had been involved ”in a major incident in Leicester”
I didn’t know Simon & Danni’s new address so had to try and direct them whilst stood there at the window
in my boxers hoping the dog’s don’t hear anything and all start barking
They left with all the info they needed and as I went back to bed Michelle was still fast asleep none the
wiser,and when I phoned her earlier today she was shocked the police had been to the house but said it was
the best night’s sleep in months.....no kidding!!!

Half Full Or Half Empty (2010-07-31 09:03)

Our life now seems pretty normal and we do everyday normal things,now that may sound weird to some but
sometimes doing normal things seem weird for us.
It seem like ages a go since Michelle had any treatment,tests,hospital appointments etc and sometimes it’s
hard to get used to doing day to day things.
When I write it down it sounds silly but I know what I mean and I suppose it may be that because our
life has changed so many times over the last 14 months when things are normal I get worried that one day
something that’s lurking around the corner will come out and burst our happy bubble.
It’s the half full / half empty scenario when I should be thinking the positive half and not the negative half
but sometimes things seem too good to be true.
I look at Michelle when she’s not watching me,seeing her hair growing back and the colour in her cheeks and
realise how lucky I am that she’s sat there in front of me and I don’t want that to ever change.
Anyway it’s been a week of work and no play this week for me.
Finally finishing off the bloody irrigation system off and now it’s so nice just to turn the timer on instead of
getting the watering can and doing every 16 hanging baskets/pots individually.
Collected mum from Loughborough on Thursday afternoon as she’s been away to the East Coast for 2
weeks,she looks lovely and brown and has put on 3 pounds in weight.
Food shopping Friday after work (rock n’ roll eh?)then a few beers and I took no rocking.
This morning Michelle is still in bed because it’s raining,she loves it when she’s tucked up under the quilt
and she can hear the rain on the windows.
No plans for today up to now,when Michelle gets up we’ll see how things pan out.
Matt’s mate Lee is up from Bournemouth and is staying for the weekend and then later today a bus load of
them are off to Global Gathering dance festival in Stratford-Upon-Avon.
Not long now for Leanne & James wedding,4 weeks today in fact ahhhhhhhhhhh!
I need to go on a crash diet to try and fit into a suit :(
Now I’ve written that down it’s scary how quick that has come upon us,panic time and also time to get list
writing to see if we’ve forgotten anything.

146
2.8 August

Back To The Gym (2010-08-02 20:22)

With Leanne & James wedding just 4 weeks away it’s time to lose some weight to be able to fit into a suit.
Porridge for breakfast and lots of water throughout the day and eating properly.
Finished work on time and thought of every excuse under the sun why I shouldn’t go to the gym,but as soon
as I got home I got changed straight away because if I hadn’t then I’d of put off going.
Before Michelle took poorly I was down the gym 5 days a week,but over the last 14 months I’ve put so much
weight on.
First person I saw was Rich,the manager of the gym and he kept me talking for ages catching up on stuff,but
I eventually got in to do some cardio work with the bike and rower and felt knackered but good about it
after.
Michelle looked a bit down today,although she said she was OK I eventually got it out of her that she was
worried about Matt.
He said he’s going back to Ibiza in 3 weeks time but he’s got no job and no money coming in and he needs
to get a new passport and flight ticket.
I hate her worrying about things so tried to tell her that he’s one of those people that usually land on their
feet and his DJ’ing brings him a bit of money in.
Also last night I got her in a wrestling move playing about and hurt her arm by accident and that’s been
hurting her too.
I’m dreading tomorrow when I wake up all stiff and it’ll be back to the gym again.

Two Fat Army Men............ Again! (2010-08-06 18:52)

With Leanne & James wedding getting nearer I’ve been eating really well and managed to get to the gym
Monday & Tuesday but talked myself out of it the rest of the week.
When I got back from work today I had planned to go to the gym and then Michelle wanted to go to The
Gate Inn for a meal,when I got home I thought the gym would be a waste of time if we were going for a meal
:)
I asked Michelle if she was ready but she said that she didn’t want to go because she’s got to lose weight too.
So I said I’d go to the gym then and we wouldn’t bother when Michelle said ”Why do you want to go?” and
I said I wasn’t bothered either way and then two mins she was upstairs getting ready!
I went upstairs and she was trying her jeans on and she couldn’t button any of them up and said ”Oh I’m
not going I’ve got to lose weight”
I said if she didn’t go she’d only eat. a box of fish fingers,chips & beans so she put some other clothes on
and we were off.
At the pub we had a laugh because as we looked at the menu Michelle wanted me to look on my phone to
see how much excercise bikes were on the Internet.
She didn’t want a starter but was looking at the puddings,in the end we shared a combo starter and Michelle
had gammon whilst I had home made burger and chips.
I remembered a thing Michelle said a few months a go when coming out of Morrison’s and repeated it to
Michelle as we ate, ”We look like a pair of fat army men” and that set her off laughing.
Over the weekend Michelle wants to go to Shepshed to clean up her dad’s grave and put some flowers there
and then go to the nursing home to visit her mum.
We were going to go to Blackpool tomorrow for the day but we’re going to wait for our contacts at Blackpool
council to get us tickets for the pleasure beach (you know who you are lol)

147
Idris Morris ( Chris ) (2010-08-07 18:45)

[1]

[2]
We didn’t get motivated until lunch time today so by the time we made a move to go out it was 1 O’clock.
Firstly we went up to Coalville to get some flowers and by-passed the van selling jacket potatoes and hot
dogs but it did smell nice :)
Then my mum phoned to ask if we’d call in as she’d got me a present from her holidays,I don’t want to
sound ungrateful but I knew it would be something tacky ( sorry mum!)
We went in there was one of those awful pictures of a water fall and birds tweeting,then came the clanger
”do you like it?” she asked me.
”Not really” I replied,and then she said she’d bought it for me :( what was I supposed to say?
My mum said she liked it and asked Adam if he’d buy her one for her birthday,cue my bit then ”you keep
this one and that’ll save him buying you one” (good eh?)
She said I was ungrateful as it was a present but then Michelle dug me out of a hole and said that we’d got
no where to put it. Phew!
148
Leaving mum’s we were off to Shepshed cemetery to tend Michelle’s dad’s grave.
All Michelle’s side of her dad’s family are Welsh and her dad’s name was Idris but everyone knew him as
Chris,he die of lung cancer a couple of years before I met up with Michelle so was never fortunate enough to
of met him (like Michelle never my dad as he died in 1975)
We arrived with our cutting tools in hand and parked the car,Michelle’s mum used to go EVERY SINGLE
Sunday to look after Chris’s grave but since being in the nursing home she hasn’t been for a while.
As we walked up to the grave Michelle started to cry and I put my arm around her.
I got some water to wash everything down and started to well up a bit myself thinking what could of
been,then Michelle sorted the flowers out and we did a bit of trimming here and there.
Then Michelle said to her dad ”You know I love you don’t you” something she says to everyone now at the
end of every phone call and always has done.
I started to well up again and remember some 7 years back when I asked Michelle to marry me.
I knew she thought the world of her dad and had asked her mum permission to marry her but it wasn’t the
same as asking her dad, so although some may think it weird,but I took Michelle to her dad’s grave 7 years
a go and got down on one knee and asked her to marry me and put a ring on her finger.
As we walked back to the car there was an old man sat on a chair next to an immaculately kept grave,then
another old man asked him if he was telling his wife all of his problems,he smiled at us as we walked past
and said ”There isn’t enough time to tell her all of my problems” then put his head back down and sat there
in silence.
After the cemetry we went to see Michelle’s mum Sheila in the nursing home,as we got out of the car we saw
her sat in the TV room and Michelle tapped on the window and a big smile came over Sheila’s face telling
everyone it was her daughter.
She looked really well today as we sat with her in the kitchen having a cuppa and then the carers put two
trays of cakes in front of us to have one,it was rude to refuse.
Unfortunatly we’d found out that another resident had been talking about coins ad money and how it had
changed and Sheila had locked onto that,so for the next hour I had to explain coins from 1p to a £2 coin
and each time she recited it back to me but even when we were about to go she was still confused so I left
her one of each coin so she could remember,in hind sight that may not of been a good idea because Michelle
said that she’ll leave them on the table and then say someone has taken them but this is part of her mental
illness and it’s so sad to see especially in Sheila who was always so so active.
A quick nip to Morrison’s for ’us two fat army men’ to get things to make a sweet & sour chicken for
tonight,by-passing the cream cakes although it wasn’t easy with Michelle there and she had to go over to
the counter to have a look :)
Back home and all the tea is cooked and ready,Matt’s out tonight as he’s DJ’ing at a mansion where there
is 4 rooms and 30 DJ’s and the cast of Hollyoaks and the soaps going along to party,with his DJ set being
at 3-4 am!
I’ll be up too between 3 and 4 am but only for a wee!
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TF2kt77B8zI/AAAAAAAAAE0/moBjnDkJByg/s1600/photo(2)michelle.JPG
2. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TF2ktSWQBDI/AAAAAAAAAEs/_1ickJL0r7o/s1600/photochris.JPG

Doing It All Wrong. (2010-08-11 11:20)

My dieting idea has now spread to Michelle after she couldn’t do her jeans up the other day.
My diet started to slip after going out for that meal last Friday and I never went back to the gym,Monday’s
excuse was a fantastic one though.......
As Michelle wanted to join me in a diet we knew we needed to do it right and start off with some good scales,I’d
seen some Weight Watchers scales that do BMI,body fat,water % etc so these sounded the business.
Off to Coalville and Argos,and for people that don’t know Michelle’s 2ND secret obsession behind buying
149
tea towels is buying bedding.
So she’d spotted this quilt & curtain set for Matt’s room,so after writing it all down with the small blue pen
and actually saying the number out loud as she tapped it into the machine to see if they were in stock she
headed for the counter.
I stood at the back because I knew what was coming,she handed her slip to a young girl on work experience
and after typing it in she said (in a slightly raised voice) ” Duvet & curtain set £14.99?” Michelle replied
”Yes” and then the girl piped up ”Weight Watchers body fat scales £19.99?” OMG Michelle’s face was so
funny!
She came back and stood next to me and said that they had the duvet set but not the curtains and
Loughborough was the nearest shop that had them so she didn’t bother,I asked her why she didn’t reserve
the ones in Loughborough and she said that she didn’t think I’d want to go after work,so I told her to order
them and we’d nip over.
She ended up with the girl on work experience again and they were both laughing to each other when my
number got called out and the girl behind the counter appeared with a box that had got a photo of the scales
on both sides and BODY FAT in big writing.
Back in the car and off to Loughborough all we could talk about was food and what we’d miss being on a
diet,passing Mc.Donald’s on the way.
I dropped Michelle off at Argos and parked around the back to wait for her,and whilst waiting a massive
black man parked up in a top if the range AMG Mercedes,I pointed this out to Michelle as the man got out
of the car just as she came back from Argos,she had a simple enough answer ” he’s got to be a drug dealer”
We then decided before we cracked open our brand new scales we’d have to do one last night of bad food so
headed off and parked outside Home Bargins where we spent the next 15 mins filling our baskets up with
£10 worth if sweets and chocolate,yes £10 worth I know because I had to pay!
On the way back to the car, which was about 100 yards away on double yellow lines with our blue badge
on,we passed a chip shop where we both agreed to have chips,sausage and curry sauce.
Were we doing this all wrong? Once we’d got the scales wasn’t that the start or didn’t it count until we’d
actually weighed ourselves ?
Back home and it was time to get the scales out with Michelle saying ”I bet I’ve gone up to about 12 stone”
I braved it first and was happy with 21stone 11 pounds because I thought I was nearer 23 stones.
Then Michelle’s turn and it flashed up 13 stone 6 pounds, ”bloody hell that can’t be right” she moaned. I
was just laughing which may not if been the best thing to do :)
I headed off upstairs with my secret stash quickly followed by Michelle to watch TV,but she refused to eat
any of the chocolate or sweets as I finished 5 coconunt cakes,half a bar of Toblerone,a Bounty and Galaxy
bar.
But she couldn’t resist for long and tucked in,and we were like a couple of school kids after spending our
pocket money.
It’s days like this I love to blog about because although they may seem mundane,silly or normal it’s days
like these that I NEVER EVER want to forget about.

Thinking Time (2010-08-12 19:02)

One of the aims of the Macmillan calendar I started was two fold,one was to raise money for Macmillan and
the other is to change people’s views of cancer.
We all have bad days but when the good days come it makes them all so special.
I remember hearing a man one day at a burger van talking about someone that had been diagnosed with
cancer and his reaction was ”He’s got the ’Big C’ so that’s curtains for him”
I felt like shaking him and explaining things but don’t think he would of understood,in truth I don’t think
anyone that hasn’t had cancer or been a carer for a cancer patient would understand.
150
’Good Days’ are great but sometimes this bloody cancer has a habit of biting your arse and knocking you
off your perch sometimes and that’s happened today.
Our friends have had some bad news today and won’t mention names right now or situations but they know
who they are.
Michelle & I have been waiting for their results all day and Michelle was very shocked at the results and
took the news rather bad.
It’s another wake up call for us and have had to make arrangements for me to work a half day next Wednesday
for the results of her biopsy.
With a low battery on my phone and a few tears in my eyes I’m going to cut our blog short today.

Why Do Diet’s Always Start On A Monday? (2010-08-13 19:56)

We’ve spent that last two days testing wine for Leanne’s & James wedding and what we know about wine
you could write on the back of a postage stamp.
Linderman’s Bin 65 was our first and it was OK but a little dry,then a Hardy’s red which at 13 % did the
job but we’re still not sure so it may need more research.
We’ve recently bid and won a Gold’s Gym exercise bike on EBay for £75 that are £250 to buy on line or in
the shops and it was in Coventry.
So after work today and the main road from work being closed for 5 days I got home late and after picking
Michelle up we shot off to Coventry.
We picked the bike up all fine and then I wanted to go to the Indian district of Coventry to pick some spices
up,chilli flakes,Madras powder and lemons.
Then Michelle wanted chips! So I headed off to a chip shop that an old customer from Coventry recommended
years a go (Jackie from Print 5) they cook their chips in dripping like they do at the sea side.
So here we were with an exercise bike in the boot and Michelle eating chips on the way back and saying
”We’ll start our diet on Monday”
lol why do all diets start on a Monday?!!!
When we got home I set the bike up and Michelle did 10 mins then had a break and did another 5 mins but
then wanted some chocolate ’because she’d just burnt some calories off’
I had a call from Kay today saying that her Grandad was rather poorly and she was flying out to Cyprus
with Maria & Christopher to be with her family,Tracy is off out on a full days stag due so we’re going to
dog sit Duke for the night.
We’re picking him up at 9am and he’s staying the night so Lucy,Holly,Sooty & Coco will love that.
Matt’s out DJ’ing tonight in Ashby at a night he set up before going to Ibiza called ’Temptation’ and he’s
bought the night back and it’s his first night of the re-launch.
The Ministry Of Sound in London have also called and asked him to play there in October.
I’m googling some things for the weekend of Leanne’s wedding as a surprise for someone and that’s all I can
say for now....................

Results Day Looming (2010-08-15 17:02)

Today was spent looking for wedding outfits and mainly a suit for me,with no luck I’m going to have to hire
one.
We started the day by taking Duke back to Tracy and in typical Tracy style he’d left the front door open
and was asleep in bed so I shouted up that I’d bought the dog back and he went back to sleep.
Then off to pick a Wii Fit I’d bought off EBay but to be honest Michelle wasn’t that impressed with her
151
surprise.
Then it was off to Tamworth to Asda,Sainsbury’s,Matalan,TK-Mak and Pets At Home.
We’ve had a great day out with Michelle trying some dresses on but saying that ”they made me look like a
fat old woman” and then coming down one shop in the lift she looked at herself in the mirror and said ”I’m
fat but happy” I smiled and thought to myself ’that’s good enough for me’
In Asda she started laughing as we looked at even more wine,and looked at my feet with my flip flops on
and said ”Have you seen how fat your toes are?” lol what I am supposed to have dainty feet with thin toes :)
All of a sudden she needed the toilet and since treatment if she needs the toilet she really does need it,so off
she shot to find them whilst I carried on looking at the wine with my fat toes.
I met back up with her at the tills and can’t repeat the comment she made after she’d actually found the
toilet!
Back home and Leanne phoned to give us the latest on their wedding plans,and it’s scary,the groom and best
man have no suits yet,no wedding rings,no page boy outfits etc but it’s all going to be sorted in one day,this
Wednesday.
Then on the 26TH of August we’ve got to go to the church for a rehearsal.
Back to work tomorrow and the early finish on Wednesday for the results of Michelle’s lymphoma biopsy,and
seeing as Kay had to go to Cyprus it’ll be the first results day she’ll of missed but speaking to her on the
phone she’s convinced everything will be OK.
I NEVER take things for granted now with results and I know I must look on the bright side there will
always be that nagging doubt and I think it will always be there.
If things are all clear then hopefully we can hear the word ’remission’ mentioned but we’ll have to wait and
see, wait..........bloody wait.

The Night Before...... (2010-08-17 19:13)

As always the bubble of no hospital without worry is about to burst once again.
Tomorrow on 18TH of August 2010 we’re off to Leicester Royal to get the results from Michelle’s lymphoma
biopsy.
I’m off to work for 5am then finish at 9am then straight home to get Michelle to hospital for 10am bloods
then appointment at 10.45am.
It’s been so nice not going to hospital for so long,that hospital smell then the waiting room.
The nerves are starting to kick in tonight because we never take anything for granted anyone,we always think
50-50 whether that’s half full or half empty I’m not sure.
We’ve tested more wine tonight but also had silly arguments with family about wedding plans and to be
honest will be glad when the day comes now and it’s all sorted.
I thought silly arguments were things of the past but some people have nothing more to worry about than
trivial stuff,I’ll teach them about worry...........
Over the last couple of days we’ve found out that Michelle’s mum’s best friends have had some bad news,May
&John are in their 80’s but came to see Sheila all the time at home and visa versa.
May had broken her hip recently and John had one leg,was partially blind and then broke his hip,they never
moaned about anything and would do anything for you and make you so welcome.
Recently John was diagnosed with prostrate cancer and went into a home as May couldn’t look after him,he
lasted two days and died.
Michelle spoke to May on the phone are there were a few tears but Michelle hasn’t told her mum about it
and doesn’t know if she will.
Cancer does not discriminate about who it attacks and who survives and who lives,if there is a God out
there I sometimes wonder why he choses one from another,or does he? Or is it just life?
I’ll be back tomorrow and text to let everyone know which way our roller coaster ride will turn next.
152
Just wanted everyone to know.....Michelle & I love you all.

Blogging in Hospital Awaiting Results (2010-08-18 09:48)

I’m trying to blog whilst waiting at hospital on my phone.

Steve let me finish work at 8.30am so rushed home to get changed and pick Michelle up.
No Kay today as she’s in Cyprus,so it felt weird me driving to the hospital as I’m usually sat in the back of
Kay’s car.
We got to the hospital early and apart from a 5 or 6 car queue we got straight into the car park and headed
to the waiting room.
We been here about 20Min’s and Michelle has booked in to have bloods.
The waiting room is really quiet and we wish we could get in now and get it over with.
About 5Min’s a go Michelle has seen a lady who she used to have treatment with so she went over to talk to
her,she’s obviously wearing a wig and they are about hair loss.
The lady for bloods have just called Michelle’s name out and she’s gone over and hoping they can get some
blood out of her.
Dr. Simmonds (Michelle’s cervical consultant) has just walked past as I’m typing,but we’re not seeing him
today it’s the lymphoma consultant.
The board says Prof Dyer (our favourite) then Dr. Kennedy (our 2ND best) and Dr. Maill who we’ve never
heard of,at least the dreaded consultant isn’t on the board.
It’s just after 10am and Michelle’s out of bloods with her cotton wool on that she leaves on for ages,she’s
headed back to talk to her friend again.
Back in a while.........
We’ve now moved into the main waiting room and Michelle’s been up to tell them she’s here and she’s been
talking to the nurse on reception who she always talks to and she’d said how well she looks and commented
how lovely her hair was (as loads of people do)
We’re now sat down and I asked Michelle how her friend was getting on,she’d originally had cervical cancer
and gone into remission but it had now spread to her bowels,her hair had started to grow back but is now
falling out again.
Michelle’s just pointed out a nurse who had previously tried to,and I quote: ”do my marrow bone” I just
burst out laughing.
This blogging on the go seems easier than remember waiting a couple of days to catch up.
10.25am and Michelle’s gone to the loo,20Min’s to appointment time.....
And then I couldn’t finish my blog off on my phone because it started to get too big,the blog not the phone:)
So here I am back home to fill in the missing blanks........
The Dr.Maill we’d never seen before came out and called Michelle’s name,so up we got and headed towards
her room.
She turned out to really nice in the end and spoke to us both rather than just Michelle like some consultants
do and we felt at ease because she explained it in normal speak?!
The results were ....(drum roll)......the biopsy was cut and viewed from several angles and everything was
clear.
So now the next stage is a CT scan in 2 weeks time to see if the 8cm mass has grown or not,at one stage the
mass was pressing on Michelle’s kidney and I think that was a worry and maybe a stent would be required.
The outcome of the CT scan will result in one of 3 things and they are:
1) The mass is simply Grissel left over from treatment (so no further treatment needed)
2) The mass is from the lymphoma and still active (being as it’s a slow growing lymphoma they’d leave that
until treatment was really needed)
3) The mass is secondaries from her cervical cancer(and would be treated with chemo)
153
So all in all a good days results but not the final results we though we’d get to tell us it had all gone,I can’t
understand that although the biopsy was clear they can’t be 100 % sure that it’s all gone,are they playing
it safe?
Anyway we’ll wait for the scan appointment and that will be looked at and we’ll get the results on 15.09.10
when we see DR. Symonds.
Thanks for everyone’s text messages and support for today,it all means so much to us both.

Printing Blog (2010-08-19 19:25)

Back to work and a quiet day again delivering paper to printers and offices finishing at 3pm and then picking
Michelle up to go food shopping.
No real excitement in Morrison’s to blog about,after we’d dropped Matt off in Ashby to sort out some DJ
stuff with a club.
I’ve always been worried that our on line blog would get lost somewhere along the way and we’d lose
everything so I decided some time a go to print off each days blog and put it in a folder.
All was going well until the start of November last year when my printer ran out of ink and was gutted that
one black cartridge was £20 so never bothered.
Last week I bought a new printer from Tesco and got 4 refill cartridges off EBay for £5.75 delivered.
So I’ve now started to print the blog off today but have got from 7TH November 2009 to today’s :( It’s going
to take me ages!
Unfortunatley I had a message this morning to tell us that Kay’s Grandad in Cyprus had passed away and
the funeral was today,they fly back Saturday in time for Maria’s birthday.
After shopping Michelle has been practicing the flower arrangements for Leanne & James wedding a week
on Saturday and I was on the Internet looking at wedding favours.
One more sleep and then I’m off work for 5 days. YES!

WOW! (2010-08-22 10:35)

[1]
154
[2]
Finished work Friday afternoon and nipped over to Tesco’s in Ashby to try some MORE wine out,it’s getting
to be a bit of a habit now this wine tasting.
Quiet Friday night in and not much else to report for Friday.
Now Saturday was none stop!
We got out the house for about 11am and went straight to the barbers for my ’wedding hair cut’ with Michelle
sat waiting in the barbers for me.
It was the only woman in the barbers that was cutting my hair,now usually I have it shaved all off at the
back but was under instructions from Michelle to keep it longer so, ”you don’t look like a convict,it makes
you look younger and it hides the line at the bottom of your head”
So the barber asked me what I wanted and went on to explain it was for Leanne’s wedding and I’d had my
orders,she then asked who’d be inspecting it and I said ”my wife sitting over there” to which she replied ”oh!
no pressure then.”
I felt like a school boy and my mum had taken him to the barbers and told them what I want!
Nipped into the shops after to confirm our balloon order and get a wedding card and birthday card for
Michelle’s brother Shaun.
Phoned mum to see if she needed anything and all she wanted was 2 small pork pies so we picked them up
and headed to her house.
We saw the tie that Jame’s had picked which quite nice actually,Michelle had a coffee and I had a sandwich
& cake,I was starving.
At 2.30pm we had to set off to take Michelle to see Claire at the hair dressers to see if she could do something
with her hair for the wedding,I dropped her off and she asked me to pick her up in 2 hours time.
Got home and let the dogs out and spent the next hour on my pc ordering florist tape for Michelle and
another couple of bits.
The time flew by and on the way to pick Michelle up I called in to see Jayne and drop off some DVD’s I’d
downloaded for her.
Aunt Ann was there so we had a catch up and then I shot off to fetch Michelle.
I walked into the hairdressers and there was only Michelle & Claire in the shop,WOW! Michelle looked
amazing and I joked to Claire ”Has Michelle gone home already?”
As you can see from the before and after photo’s she looked amazing and she was beaming from ear to ear,to
say she was pleased would be an understatement.
We then had to nip to Ibstock to see Andy & Mandy to drop them some DVDs off too and stayed for a
cuppa and had a laugh as we always do with them,Michelle and Mandy used to work together years a go
155
and I work with Andy(fence & patio man) at Antalis.
The time was getting on and we were supposed to be at Tracy & Kay’s house for 6pm and it was 5.55pm
when we left Andy & Mandy’s house and we’d still got to collect Maria’s birthday present yet from the
dining room table.
I quick call in home to let the dogs out and off we went to Shepshed picking Sheila up along the way,and it
hammered it down as we pulled up outside the nursing home.
We arrived at Tracy & Kay’s for 6.30pm,Jo & Craig were already there and Kay was still on her way back
from the airport.
In true Tracy style all the food was still in it’s packets because ’he didn’t know how to work the oven!’
We all chipped in and even Tracy tried to make a Greek salad but missed out the tomato,onion etc basically
it was salad leaves with feta cheese cut up and thrown in.
Kay arrived with Maria,Christopher and her dad John who hadn’t been to Cyprus because he’d been ill too.
John was sporting a beard and apparently due to their Cypriot beliefs they are not allowed to shave or wear
anything else apart from black for 40 days 7 nights after the funeral of Kay’s grandad.
Everyone loved Michelle’s hair and said how well she looked and we had a great time eating but no drink for
me because I was drinking,unfortunately because the dogs had been on their own all day we had to make an
early exit and come home,stopping off on the way to pick a bottle of cider up ;)
This Sunday morning I’ve just printed off our blog from November 2009 to today’s and have now got to put
all the sheets into some clear A4 pockets and then into the folder,Michelle’s having a lazy day and is still in
the bed.
The sun is shining and I’m not in work until Thursday now so I’m going to be chilling out and maybe see
where we can go over the next few days.
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/THD4RvwflwI/AAAAAAAAAFE/JuGoVYoeXPA/s1600/photo(6).JPG
2. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/THD4RcI22II/AAAAAAAAAE8/9i54BD8G0pc/s1600/photo(2)che.JPG

Long Pre-Wedding Week (2010-08-27 20:56)

I’ve just finally had chance to sit down and blog after a long long week leading up to Leanne & James
wedding tomorrow.
Mon,Tues & Weds I had off work and can’t even remember where the time went but it was spent organising
the final few things for the wedding,banners,wedding favours,drinks,glasses and the list goes on.
Yesterday it was the final rehearsal for the wedding at the church and the first time for me to meet the vicar
Reverand Stephen Gamble who was a lovely down to earth man and very proud of his beautiful 800 year old
church which looked fantastic.
Today was spent picking the balloons up straight after work,then picking Michelle and Jayne up and heading
to Loughborough to set up the room for the reception.
After 6 hours of table cloths,balloons,sparkly bits,favours and wedding cake we were done.
I was driving but Michelle & Jayne managed:
2 Tia Maria’s
1Jaejger Bomb
4 Squashed Frogs (mixture of 3 liquiers)
2 Portions of fish & chips on the way home!
To say they were merry would be an understatement :)
We dropped Jayne off home and she’s been a star today right from 7.45am when she picked Michelle up to
collect the flowers and then helping with them and up to helping us with the room.
Her and Michelle get on so well,they are so alike and Jayne has been so good to us for the last couple of
years.
During the week we had a box arrive with all the wedding ’Order Of Service’ cards that Manda,Pete and
156
a whole list of people who helped made such a fantastic job and you wouldn’t be able to buy what they
achieved.
Thank you so much Manda & Pete and we’re really going to miss you tomorrow and you’ll both be in our
thoughts.
I wish I’d had more time to blog this week and in more detail but there just hasn’t been enough hours in
the day.
So tomorrow leaves us the food to take to the reception and that’s about it.
Michelle is off to get her hair done by Claire for the wedding and we’ll get ready and be off.
Today’s blog is a bit of hit and miss and in no particular order but I needed to write something down because
I didn’t want to leave it until the wedding day.
Neither of us will take much rocking tonight especially Michelle with her alcohol content!!!

Leanne & James Wedding (2010-08-30 18:18)

[1]

[2]
157
[3]

[4]

[5]
Where do I start with this one? Can I remember what happened? Lets have a go.....
On Saturday 28TH August 2010 my daughter Leanne married her boyfriend James.
The day started with us both getting up about 8.30am,me first whilst Michelle lazed in bed with a coffee
and I made some extra sandwich’s just in case (dad panic mode I guess) and some tuna pasta.
Claire who was doing Michelle’s hair phoned the night before to change Michelle’s appointment from 9am
to 10.30am so I decided to have a shower and shave then drop Michelle off at the hairdressers then pick the
rest of the food up from my mums house.
I got to my mums and she was crying because Adam had phoned her in a mood to arrange for the bridesmaids
to get to loughborough to get changed and have their hair done,the problem stemmed from everyone phoned

158
my mum to phone everyone else to sort things instead of phoning them direct,and the combination and being
tired had upset my mum and when James phoned again whilst I was there I made my feeling clear on the
phone to him by stopping him mid sentence and having a few quiet words.
Car loaded with food and back off to pick Michelle up from the hairdressers and as usual Claire had done a
fantastic job.
On the road again and off to my ex wife’s house to collect even more food followed by the final destination
for the food,the club.
We set the food out on the tables and I was now pushed for because Gaz from work was picking me up from
my mum’s house at 1.30pm on his way to watch Nottingham forest play and it was 12.30pm now.
We got it all sorted in the end apart from a little comment from the man on stage who was loading disco
equipment into his van.
”Is this Leanne & James wedding?” he asked and to cut a long story short he was supposed to be doing the
disco as he was the resident DJ but wires were crossed and he now wasn’t,the true of the matter was that it
was now 12.30pm and there wasn’t a disco booked.
I dropped Michelle off home and headed straight to my mums house to get ready,the reason for this was
because if I’d got ready at home the Lucy our pug would of covered my black suit in hairs.
I got half ready and then made what felt like 1001 phone calls to different people to try and sort the disco,I
couldn’t see my only daughter with no disco at her wedding.
Time ran out and Gaz & Tony turned up to give me a lift,no tie on and my shirt sticking out.
They dropped me off at Tesco’s cash point in Loughborough and I started what felt like a marathon walk to
my ex wife’s house where Leanne,Lizzy,Jamie and two bridesmaids would be.......WRONG!
Leanne & Lizzy had set out to the hairdressers at 11.50am and itt was now 2.15pm and they weren’t there
neither was her dress which she’d had altered.
At 2.30pm the wedding car turned up arrrrrgh!! I’d got two bridesmaids with dresses on but only one had
their hair done.
I went out to introduce myself to Ian the chauffeur who was really nice and said he’d wait as long as it took.
Leanne & Lizzy turned up at 3.50pm and Lizzy went straight to work on Katie’s hair and in record time she
was done so I decided to send Katie & Alison in the wedding car and by the time Ian had come back Lizzy
would be ready,the neighbours were all out as I took their photo’s and the drive off into the distance,after
he’d stalled the car and wouldn’t start again!
Lizzy was now upstairs lacing up Leanne’s dress and getting ready herself whilst I was downstairs trying to
dry out the bouquets that had been left over night in a washing up bowl and tipped over onto their sides
soaking them (daren’t tell Michelle!)
The wedding car arrived back at 3.20pm and Lizzy was ready and again after my David Bailey photo effort
with my IPhone she was in the car and off with the neighbours straining their necks to get a view :)
So that left me and Leanne hone alone and she came downstairs,I couldn’t say anything but she looked
fantastic,here was my little baby all grown up and getting married,and I never really show public emotion
but I was the proudest dad in the world right now (and still am Leanne)
Just to change direction from the days event’s we’d invited some VERY special friends to come to our daugh-
ters wedding today and unfortunately they couldn’t make it and Michelle & I were just as gutted as them.
But I made a promise that whatever the day held I’d keep them in contact of how the day went through text
and email.
So when Leanne stood their in her living room I took a photo of my pride and joy and sent it on to our
friends so they could see Leanne before anyone else.
Ian arrived back at 3.40pm and I’d managed to do my tie and tuck my shirt and was ready for our ride in a
special car with everyone watching us,our 15 minutes of fame eh?
Engine started and we were off,me filming Leanne on my mobile to send to our friends to keep them up to
date and the neighbours getting a glimpse of what they’d waited to see.
Also passing a man from Domino pizza’s with a pizza box over his head as an advertisement right at an
island,what a job!and it made us laugh.
159
The car pulled up outside Loughborough parish church at 4.05pm and we both got out and prepared ourselves
for our public :)
We were beckoned to the church doors where the bridesmaids,page boys and flower girl was waiting,there
was a slight hold up because we were waiting for James grandad to get into church.
After instructions from Reverend Stephen Gamble we were nearly ready apart from the flower girl who de-
cided she was too shy to walk up the aisle alone so her mum had to help out and walk with her.
The organ started and Leanne linked arms with me,she was nervous and I was proud as we took the first
steps with everyone turned around watching,and I’m thinking ’Does my stomach look big? (well actually
belly but Michelle hates that word :)
After what felt like miles we arrived at the alter and I handed my daughter over to her husband to be.
Reverend Gamble did an absolutely fantastic service with a tear welling up in my eye as he said ”In sickness
and in health” and it bought a quick flashback and made me appreciate our words of marriage 6 years a go.
Service over and outside for photographs in the lovely grounds of the church which seemed to be the shortest
part of the day,it seemed like it was over in no time whilst I looked and wondered who Jame’s family were
etc.
The car the took the bride & groom off to the reception and there was a mad scramble to order taxi’s which
ended in me and one of Leanne’s cousin’s being last to get a taxi!
I phoned Michelle and her and Matt were serving drinks as everyone came in and she said that everything
was under control.
We all got a drink at the bar....Tia maria,squashed frog and Jaegar bomb(and that was just Michelle!)
I bought a drink for the landlady as she’d been on the phone all day and managed to get a disco at the last
minute so everything was sorted.
I could write forever about the night time but to cut it short,my mum was rocking on the free entrance
drinks and confiscating two bottles for her table.
Michelle along with Jayne,Kay,Gill,Sue,Graham,Diane,Sue(2),and Ron ended up on black Sambuca’s and
danced all night long.
I’m not know for my dancing but I watched Michelle all night long and was amazed at her dancing and have
NEVER seen her like that ever since we met,I was so so proud of her because she was THE life and sole of
the party and everyone said how well she looked and that they loved her and if you could see the smile on
my face now as I’m typing this it would tell everyone how proud I am of her.
The night ended at 12.50am when the taxi turned up and we all got in,well I say all Sue actually tripped as
she got into the taxi as she got in and landed face down on the taxi floor!
She got up and she had the biggest cut on her face,it lloked really sore.
Landing home I simply walked upstairs,Michelle fell asleep in the bath and got into bed at 3am,the hang-
over,bruise on Michelle’s leg and swollen foot will have to be told tomorrow...............................
1. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/THvpV7rExZI/AAAAAAAAAGM/SE20NOnfefw/s1600/047.JPG
2. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/THvpVU0ufpI/AAAAAAAAAGE/-D-dDQbApg4/s1600/050.JPG
3. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/THvpU70jIeI/AAAAAAAAAF8/yLhya4KFYwE/s1600/035.JPG
4. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/THvpUcCarQI/AAAAAAAAAF0/b9pWWZgNpTk/s1600/019.JPG
5. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/THvpT4OxcII/AAAAAAAAAFs/A-MR41knRNE/s1600/014.JPG

The Hangover (2010-08-31 16:52)

Following the wedding nights alcohol intake,which Michelle drank far far more than me,she woke up with
the biggest hangover ever.
I was amazed at Michelle on the night of the wedding,she never stopped dancing all night and she can’t
remember doing the likes of ’The Birdy Song’,line dancing,head banging,dancing on the seating area and all
the 60’s music.
160
She woke up with a swollen foot and big bruise on her leg which she can’t remember where it came from.
She was the life and sole of the party and everyone said they loved her and how well she looked,I was very
proud of Michelle on Saturday,she looked fantastic and really let her hair down.
Even she said that she’s not had such a good night in years :)
Yesterday we went to see if Donington market was on but it wasn’t so headed to Breedon On The Hill to a
small craft/antique fair that is on every weekend and Michelle loves it there,we were going to have something
to eat but there was a massive queue in the cafe so we didn’t bother.
Her foot was hurting her so we headed back home and ordered a Indian take away.
Today it was back to work and I felt rubbish,not hung over or anything,just really tired and I think the rush
leading up to the wedding has finally caught up with me.
I went to sleep for an hour in my lorry today,even waking myself up with my own snoring :)
After work called into Morrison’s for a few bits and bobs and got Michelle the ingredients to make a ’Squashed
Frog’ the mixed shot she was drinking on Saturday night,if anyone won’t to try it you take one shot glass
and add 1/3 of Midori(Melon Liqueur) and 1/3 Advocat and lastly a small amount of Grenadine.
Cost me £20 for all 3 bottles to make it so that should last a while!
Tonight Michelle is off with Jayne & Kay my two cousins to a Salsa class,this was all arranged at the wedding
between them all.
Michelle said that she might just sit and watch for the first night ”because of my poorly foot” but she still
wants her spag bol before she goes lol.
I love to see Michelle like this and someone said to her Saturday that it was ’lovely to have the old Michelle
back’
There is still this thing in the back of my mind still that one day the happy bubble will burst and something
will come around the corner to bite us in the arse.
I know it’s negative and I know I shouldn’t be feeling it but I never show it or say anything to Michelle yet
I have to write it down here because this is my little escape and I have to put down what is real.
I know that the feeling will never go away and I’ll always worry and think it will get less and less with time
but sometimes wish it would go away all together and we could turn the clock back 15 months.

2.9 September

Looking Back....looking forward..... (2010-09-04 10:49)

The weekend is here again and as usual on a Saturday morning I am always the first up and find it hard to
stop in bed once I’m awake so use the time to update our blog,emails etc.
It’s been a fairly normal week at work again,although busy because it’s the start of the month.
Michelle did go to Salsa class with Jayne on Tuesday and came back sweating and tired,but she’s not going
again.
She said the room was too small for the amount of people there and people kept treading on her toes.
They had to swap partners and Michelle said that you could tell the regulars and some who’d finished the 8
week course had come back to help to new starters.
Michelle was dancing with one man and she said to him ”Have you been before?” to which he replied ”I am
Cuban,I am a professional”
Jayne didn’t like it either because all the swinging around made her dizzy!
So I think they are looking for a dance to music type class.
Wednesday we did the ultra exciting Morrison’s food shop but not before we dropped Matt off in Measham
to collect a van that his mate is lending him for a year,all it’s cost him is £100 for the insurance and his mate
is going to have it sign written in Matt’s ’Temptation’ brand.
161
This morning I’ve finally finished putting our blog printing into sleeves and into two folders,and I’m never
leaving it that long to print off again.
As I printed and put the sheets away I had a read and look back over the last 15 months and forgot so much
that had happened along the way and that’s why I’m so glad I started our blog after advise from Manda
(thank you!)
I’ve also been putting some photos to music and burnt that to DVD right from the start in the hospital in
May 2009 to Leanne’s wedding,so if your reading this blog in printed out form you should see the disc with
today’s blog.
It’s very emotional and when you see people day in day out I don’t thing you see everything,I’d forgotten
how much weight Michelle had lost and how ill she looked.
I was going to post some photos on here but didn’t want to offend or upset anyone by doing so,I know it’s
supposed to be a warts and all blog but I just don’t feel it’s the right thing to do.
I’ve mentioned Blackpool before and wanting to go because both of us haven’t been in years and after
watching a TV documentary filmed in 1989 it bought so many memories back we’ve decided to go and stay
the night during my week off work in mid September.
We’ve got an appointment with Michelle’s cervical consultant DR.Symmonds on Wednesday 15TH September
so are going on Thursday 16TH September.
And just as I’m typing this Michelle has got up and opened a letter from Radiology for a CT scan on
Thursday 16TH September!
That’s no good to us because we were hoping that DR.Symmonds would have the CT results when we see
him on the Wednesday,so Michelle is going to phone up Monday morning to sort it out.
After some top secret advise I booked our Blackpool hotel last night at De Vere hotel over looking a golf
course and next to Blackpool Zoo.
As I’ve said before it’s always nice to have something to look forward to and Blackpool is our next thing.
People at work talk about going to America,Cuba,Ibiza,Canary Islands etc but over the last few years it
hasn’t bothered us because we like our home creature comforts but just lately Michelle has said that she
wants to go abroad next year so that’ll be a bit more planning and something else to look forward to.
It’s going to be a chilled out weekend with no plans to go anywhere building up our energy and money for
our trip up North!

Mr. Pete Davis (2010-09-05 16:06)

Our blog today is dedicated to one special person and that is Pete Davis.
I woke at 8.30am this morning and came down stairs to finish off putting some video clips of Leanne & James
wedding together and burning them to DVD.
My phone rang and the callers name came up as ’Manda & Pete’ this was unusual because although we’ve
text,emailed and met each other we’ve never actually spoken on the phone to either Manda or Pete but deep
down as I pressed answer button I knew what I was about to be told.
It was Manda on the phone and was phoning me to tell me that our friend and her husband Pete had passed
away this morning.
I was gob smacked to be honest,I knew things that weren’t made public but it was still a massive shock and
I think I went really quiet.
Manda went on to say that she’d got to keep the call brief because she’d got lots of people to call and didn’t
want to get upset.
The call ended with me telling her that she knew where we were if she needed anything,on refection they
sound everyday standard words that didn’t feel enough but what do you say? As Manda has quite rightly
pointed out before,there is no text book and you have to say or do what you think best.
I went upstairs to wake Michelle to tell her and made a point that she was fully awake before I said anything.
162
After telling her she went very very quiet and said she couldn’t believe it and said that it was so awful
because Manda & Pete had been married for such a short time.
I’ve spent the rest of today very quiet and subdued,it’s been such a shock and my heart goes out to Manda.
We went to Manda & Pete’s wedding as regular blog readers will know,and as soon as we met him he came
across and gave us a big hug and it felt like we’d been friends for years and that’s the never ending memory
I’ll have of Pete.
I’ve read the comments on Face Book about Pete and he was very popular and very liked which doesn’t
surprise me at all.
Not sure what to say,feel or write now but did want to dedicate today’s blog to a very true special friend,RIP
Pete because your now pain free and flying with the angels,look down and shine on Manda at night and we
know you’ll be up there looking down.
A sad day.

Restless Night And Tired Day (2010-09-06 15:47)

[1]
We both couldn’t sleep last night,thinking different things and even waking at 2.30am holding hands and
Michelle telling me that she loved me.
I’ve been driving around in a tired day dream today recalling different things that I remember about Manda
& Pete’s blog,the time when the toys fell off the supermarket shelf and they were laughing about it or Pete’s
dream of owning a BMW X5 and Pete’s confession of feeding Smirnoff 5 times a day!
No one can ever take away our memories,they can try and take everything but we’ll never lose our memories.
Michelle phoned the hospital to sort out the CT scan and got an appointment for this Friday and as usual
our ever faithful Kay will be taking her,we’d of been so lost without Kay over the last 15 months and she’s
been a star.
Hopefully DR. Symmonds will have the results when we seem him for Michelle’s 3 month appointment on
September 15TH.
Laura from the college phoned up this afternoon to say that she’d got Michelle’s new sick note and to ask
how she was,I was in the other room but I heard her telling Laura about Pete and how it had come as such
a shock,Michelle knows how so so lucky she has been up to now.
Simon also phoned today and him and Matt are going with Michelle to see their grandma at the nursing
home on Wednesday and then off to the carvery on the way back home,Michelle loves being with the two boys
and she’s very proud of them both (photo is of Michelle and Simon on the left and Matt on the right),it’ll
be nice for Sheila to see them too because they are always so busy and rarely get to see her.
The rest of the day is going to be a quiet one,no plans because it’s windy and raining so stopping in to relax
and bed very early for me to catch up on some sleep.
163
1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TIUDKg8NT6I/AAAAAAAAAGc/JRXwZq0Glhk/s1600/002.JPG

Big Boys Birthday! (2010-09-09 17:18)

Yesterday Michelle,Matt & Simon did go to see Sheila and she was over the moon to see them.
She talked about her pains and Simon asked if she still likes drinking sherry,which she used to give Michelle
every time we went around her house.
Simon told her to have some sherry and that would take her pains away,but she said they weren’t allowed it
in a nursing home :)
Michelle loved the day being with her two big boys that she thinks the world of.
Michelle,Matt & Simon then went to the carvery on the way home and Simon paid for the meal whilst Matt
bought the drinks and they all enjoyed it and said they’d like to do it again.
I think we all get in a rut with our day to day things and sometimes forget family and how good it is to
be together (Sheila ALWAYS said when the family were all there ”It;s lovely to be all together) and it’s a
standing joke in the family.
Today it is my 44TH (Shhhh) birthday and it started at 4am when the alarm went off and reading a text
that Manda had sent the night before,and to be honest it was so so nice to hear from her.
We both think about Manda daily and have given her some time to deal with things in her own way but her
text says that she wants us to keep emailing and texting because we’ve always been so close over the last
15/16 months.
A really busy day at work which is what you really want when you’ve gotten up and no cards or presents
were there for me to open :(
I phoned Michelle and she said that I hadn’t got any cards or presents to open :( but knew really I would
have when I got home :)
I got home and picked Michelle up to go to my mums house where Matt had been since 10am putting up a
10’ x10’ metal shed for my mum (it;s now 5.30pm and he still hasn’t finished it)
We had a chat with my mum about some more fencing I’ve sorted Andy to do for her this Saturday and she
was sat in her chair watching everyone work,well at 82 she’s done her fair years of work!
Michelle and I came home and sat on the dining room table were all my presents and cards and it was now
officially this big boys birthday!
I phoned my mum,Matt and my mum to thank them and tried to phone Simon but he was at Alton Towers
so had to send him a text.
Adam texted after he’d woke up(he’s working nights) to wish me happy birthday and said he’d see us at the
weekend and Leanne called me when I was on my break at work.
I think it’s going to have to be a takeaway tonight but still any early night as I’m up at 4am for work but
it’s the last get up because then I’m off work for a week.

CT Scan & Day Dreaming (2010-09-10 18:55)

I had to phone Michelle at 8.30am this morning to make sure she was up and ready for Kay turning up at
10.30am to take Michelle to Leicester Royal for her CT scan.
I phoned her around 10am to make sure she was up and she was finishing off getting ready but tired because
she’s used to getting up that early now :)
I phoned again about 12.30pm to make sure everything had gone OK and they were both just pulling into
The Bulls Head for some lunch,although Michelle had said earlier that they weren’t going to bother going
out!
164
She said that they had got straight into the car park (an in joke between us because whenever I take Michelle
to the hospital we always have to queue)
Then straight in for her CT scan and they got blood first time,and I can’t remember when that happened
last because with all cancer treatments your veins collapse and it’s really hard to get blood.
So she was pleased all had gone well and it was over,we should get the results on Wednesday when we see
Michelle’s cervical consultant DR. Symmonds.
As for me it’s been so busy at work and I got out of the yard an hour late and that’s a nightmare because
you hit more traffic then.
Today I seem to of been in a day dream whilst driving and it’s scary sometimes, driving a car takes concen-
tration but driving a lorry is far worse,and Michelle always says to me ”I can’t understand how you get tired
you only have to turn the steering wheel”
When in a day dream I sometimes come out of it when it feels like I’ve driven for miles and sometimes come
to a junction and forget where I am or which way to go.
I day dream about all sorts of things from winning the lottery and imagining my dream home,to what it
would be like to be really old and can’t imagine it,just like as a child not being able to imagine being an
adult (do I sound weird now !)
Adam,Lizzy and Leanne turned up when I got home with my birthday card after they’d been down to see
my mum.
They were all well and we had a catch up and watched our TV appearance for the calendar which we’d got
on Sky+ to see how big Lucy had got.
She was tiny when you look back now,and I forgot how proud I was of Michelle on that film saying ”When
you find out you’ve got cancer you think ’I’m going to die’ but you have to fight it”
So it’s been a strange busy day with me finally finishing work at 4pm which was a long day from 4am but
I’m now on a weeks holiday from work and reminded Michelle that we’d be together for 24 hours a day for
the next 7 days to which she replied ”Oh no!” Charming eh!!!

The weekend (2010-09-12 18:53)

My weekend started on Saturday morning when I met Andy Smith (the man who did all my fencing and
patio) down my mums house to put some fence panels up and a gate to keep her garden more secure.
All was going well until my mums neighbour came out and complained that the fence was too high and
looked silly because it was higher than his.
He came around to see us and Andy stood his ground and knew what he’s talking about,I kept quiet because
I didn’t want to lose me temper and only would of done if he’d said anything offensive to my mum.
As it turned out a compromise was reached and me and Andy got on with the work in hand.
With the extra digging out it took us longer than Andy had thought and finished about 6pm and just left
an hours work to do Sunday morning.
Michelle stayed at home and pottered around in the garden mowing the grass and hanging the washing
out,she’s always happy in the sun out in the garden.
My mum tried phoning her to see if she wanted to come down for an hour but didn’t hear the phone because
she was outside.
Andy’s wife Mandy went up to see Michelle later in the afternoon with Liam & Molly for a cuppa. I ended
up lending her year one of our printed out blog and according to Andy she hasn’t put it down yet.
It’s a bit weird that I don’t mind who reads our blog and everyone is welcome but I have to try and remember
if I’ve called anyone anything bad in anyway and they’ll read it,I’m sure I haven’t though (I hope!)
I met back up with Andy for an hour this morning and he’d also been reading our blog and reminded me
of a time when Michelle and I were watching ’Most Haunted’ and Yevette Fielding said ”Is there anybody
there?” just as a let out a big trump!
165
We were then joined by another couple of family members Ron & Chic who’d kindly come with their chain
saw to cut down what was left of my mums apple tree,a tree that my sister had bought some 30 years a go
from Woolworth’s for about £3 as a small plant in a pot.
They chopped it up and took it away for fire wood not long before Andy & I had finished for the day,I
sprayed some weed killer for her and then made my way home for a shower.
This afternoon I decided to spend some of my birthday money and headed off to Leicester with Michelle for
a new coat,jeans and a tee shirt.
As usual Michelle got hungry half way through shopping and we had to call into a Gregg’s for a warm sausage
roll followed by an egg,bacon and mayo cob (sorry if your from anywhere else in the country but its called a
cob around here!)
Michelle spotted a nice coat for me and also my jeans,it was turning out to be like shopping with mother :)
and at least I picked my own tee shirt.
Michelle got some trousers and a top and started to talk about packing our bag for our trip to Blackpool,which
isn’t until nest Thursday.
Back home and she started on the job in hand which included half packing the case with biscuits and
coffee!Hope there will be enough room for my clothes in the end.
She loves to be organised and it keeps her happy and that’s all that matters to me.
Matt’s popped in and out twice over the weekend,both times to have a shower and change of clothes and
he’s gone again.
For some bizarre reason Michelle has just started to hoover the whole house at 7.20pm on a Sunday night
and then can’t work out how to empty the hoover.
I’ve been trying to get the information together for our calendar designer so we can crack on and hopefully
produce another Macmillan calendar for 2011.
The weekend seems to have gone no where again but at least I haven’t got to get up for work in the morning,I
think tomorrow will be a day of pottering and cleaning the car out.

Should We Carry On? (2010-09-14 08:46)

Today is day two of my holiday and we’ve got nothing really exciting to blog about and it’s started to make
me think if this is time to close our blog down?
After reading Manda’s blog for the last 15 months I was sad to read that she said she’ll be back for one more
entry and then closing her blog down because it had served it’s purposed.
That got me thinking about our blog too,do I carry on writing it and it only contains normal day to day
stuff or do I put it to bed?
I know we are far from being out of the woods and again tomorrow we’ve got the stomach churning day of
CT results and don’t want to think that our roller coaster ride has finished because it hasn’t(have I almost
answered my own question there?)
So I’m in a bit of a pickle,it may seem like any easy decision but believe me it’s not.
We’ve been up and down so many times over the last months and writing our blog is the best thing I’ve done
for a long long time,but I know it can’t go on forever and not doing anything like this before I’m not sure
where the end should be?
This ride Michelle & I are on will last for the rest of our life,we know that,
the endless worrying,hospital visits etc will always be there but over the last couple of months our ride seems
to of been on a more even keel.
I still worry about Michelle every day,whether it be when she coughs and I automatically think of her lung
scan or like tomorrow with the CT scan,will there every be another day when she gets bad news?
I know you could wind yourself up in knots with worry but I suppose it’s only natural,but when it’s my wife
who I love and care for so so much I can’t help it.
166
So after writing down all of this in a hope that I could find an answer by looking for the answer between the
lines I still don’t know.
We’ll be back again tomorrow after we’ve got the CT scan results and a meal out on the way back.
Kay is picking us up about 10.30am and then it’s that ride to the hospital,waiting room and keeping our
fingers crossed that it’s Dr.Symmonds with good news.

Great News & Panic (2010-09-15 18:34)

We were both tossing and turning last night as usual on a night before results.
Kay picked us up about 10.15am,but only after she’d rung my phone to see where we were because Matt
had gone out onto the drive and said we’d gone out :)
And then what a surprise.....we had to queue for the car park,and I got the blame because I was in the car.
Once parked we went through the dreaded doors of Oncology.booked in and took our seats amongst the
others in the seating area.
Kay went to get her and Michelle a coffee which of course Michelle had to spill down her new jeans and we
waited....and waited.....for another hour and got in to see DR. Brown at 12.15pm.
You may or may not remember DR.Brown as a lovely lady who we first met with Dr. Symmonds when
Michelle’s scan came back with lung nodes on it and she suggested ’chicken pox lung’ and Dr. Symmonds
thought it was a good call.
We felt at ease with DR.Brown,mainly because her first words were ’Everything is looking good Michelle’
as she went on to tell us that Michelle’s cervical cancer was still clear,her stomach mass hadn’t changed
again so therefore her lymphoma was clear and finally that there were only two lungs nodes that stuck out
from the rest but after talking with Dr. Symmonds they felt that anything cancerous would grow without
treatment not shrink so decided that they weren’t cancerous but couldn’t give us a 100 % answer,but we’re
used to that by now.
Michelle was given an internal examination which was all perfectly normal and she finished by saying that
all in all it was good news.
We came out of the hospital and back to to car where I sat in the back seat texting everyone about the good
news whilst I heard Kay talking to Michelle and saying that she thought her positive attitude had made her
battle with cancer so much better.
And although texting I smiled and was so secretly proud of Michelle and what she’s been through.
On the way home we called into The Bulls Head for lunch with Michelle having Gammon,egg,pineapple,chips
and beans.
Kay had minted lamb on the bone with chips,peas and salad whist I had chicken & bacon melt in BBQ sauce
with chips,peas and salad.
And we were all had full stomachs as Kay dropped us off home as the talk of Michelle going back to work
started.
I quickly got the washing in because it had started raining and Michelle got it ready for the tumble drier.
We hadn’t got much time because Michelle was at the hairdressers for 3.30pm and it was 2.45pm already
and we’d got to go to the bank yet.
We set off for the bank and the queue was small for a change and all was going well as the cashier counted
my money whilst looking at her computer,and then the bit I hate with banks when the woman says ”We
haven’t reviewed your account for a while Mr. Hooper,do you have time right now to chat to an advisor?”
No I bloody don’t,my wife’s in the car and we’ve got to be at the hairdressers in 15 Min’s just hand my
money over(if only I’d of said that out loud eh to her eh?)
I’ll miss the hairdressers bit out because even I found that bit boring reading old woman’s magazines whilst
Michelle and the hairdresser talked rubbish,but that must just be a man thing eh? lol
We nipped in to see my mum on the way back and that’s when Michelle carried on to her about going back
167
to work.
Michelle got awarded the higher rate of DLA when first diagnosed under the ’special rules’ and although she
wants to go back to work as a part time cleaner when her sick note runs out at the start of November she
still gets tired easily and can’t do half as much as she used to.
But she’s now starting to panic that because she’s going back to work part time she’ll lose her DLA which
also means the car, blue badge etc which are just material things at the end of the day,and I hate it when
she worries.
I’ve contacted Macmillan who were useless to be honest and Googled everywhere and still don’t have a real
answer but Michelle still wants an answer or she won’t rest until she has.
After the great news of today I don’t want Michelle to have to worry about anything and usually I can find
her the answer but this seems such a grey area.
Well the case is almost packed,car filled up,alarm set and dog sitting sorted for our trip to Blackpool tomorrow.
I’ve got my email from Manda saved for the best places to eat and visit just like I did when I saved her email
as we were walking around her home town before her wedding.
Then Friday we have the great honour of being invited to Pete’s funeral which we are looking forward to,and
I hope that doesn’t sound weird or odd but Michelle and I are looking forward to seeing Manda and all her
family & friends and saying goodbye to our good friend Pete.

Blackpool (2010-09-18 10:26)

[1]
168
[2]

[3]
On Thursday we set out for out trip to Blackpool at 8.30am,case in boot,suit packed and Michelle’s chocolate
and lucozade (yes made a reappearance as such a long time away)
A nice smooth ride up there and when we got onto the M6 Michelle drifted off to sleep and after a few grunts
and moves she woke up just as we were driving past the ’Welcome to Blackpool’ sign !
We saw the famous Blackpool tower,and I can’t remember the last time I was there,must of been the 1980’s.
Followed the signs to the central car park and we were going to have a look around because we couldn’t book
into our hotel in 3pm,parked up and it was 10.30am so we’d made good time(isn’t that a dad saying!)
Got out of the car and it was chuffing freezing but isn’t it always in Blackpool?
Ever since Michelle was poorly I’ve took photos at every chance I can and this was to be no exception.....Click
one of Michelle getting out of the car with the tower in the back ground.
Sent the photo to Manda to let her know we’d arrived safe and sound then got a reply back saying that we
were stood in the car park where Robbie Williams had performed when he turned on the lights.
We then took a steady walk along the sea front looking in all the gifts shops and I think Michelle actually
went into every other one with sticks of rock,hats,toys,candles and the list goes on and on.
Looking up at the hotels and guest houses on the front we saw the OAP’s sitting looking out just like they’d
never moved from the 1980’s.
Out of the blue Michelle mentioned the donkeys and said ” I bet the donkeys are asleep now”
Since getting out of the car Michelle was talking about food so when we saw a sign for a cafe doing full

169
English breakfast her eyes lit up and we were in there quick as you like and sat down.
Cup of tea for me,coffee for Michelle and two ’Mega Breakfasts’ for us both :)
No hash browns so he gave us extra sausage and beans,which had their affects later in the day!
So with full stomachs we were off again walking along ’The Golden Mile’
Eventually we came to ’The Pleasure Beach’ with it’s scary ride which Michelle hates so we gave the £5
entrance fee a miss and as we turned to come out I saw a ghost experience ride for £7 each.
I’d got our tickets and we were in the queue before I even knew what it was about.
There were three men in their early 20’s in front of us laughing and joking as we read the rules of: no
running,no cameras,no touching anyone outside your group......
After 5 Min’s it looked like it was just going to be the five of us as the attendant said ”make your way down
the stairs and knock on the door three times”
It was pitch black and we know knew we were going to walk around the attraction and it wasn’t a traditional
ghost train.
After of of the lads knocked three times a man dressed as a monk opened the door,let us all in and bolted
the door behind us and told us ”there is no way back or out now,the only exit is at the end,please follow me”
To cut a long story short what felt like the next few hours involved us walking down dark corridors where
actors were in cages rattling the bars and jumping out on you,then a woman in a rocking bed who actually
got off the bed and followed us on her hands and knees and I was at the back,I told Michelle to look around
and she saw the woman and screamed out loud to the lads in front ”there’s someone coming to get us” and
she almost knocked one out as she tried to get by them as they started screaming too.
We came to the end with a man holding a chain saw,he jumped out of a cage at us in the dark and we all
ran off towards the exit door.
Outside Michelle was white as a sheet and complaining that her side was hurting her from all the jolting and
quick movements she’d been doing followed by ”I’m never going on anything like that again”
I then suggested we have a walk along the sand so we made our way across the road and onto the beach,that’s
when all our reminiscing came back.
We talked about Michelle coming up with her dad and brothers every year when Michelle’s dad had got a
caravan there,we talked about playing on the sand and washing your feet before it was time to back back for
tea.
I asked Michelle if she wanted to collect some shells,so she picked one up and i suggested washing it off in
the water but then shouted out as a joke ”it’s got a whelk in it” she dropped the shell like a hot brick and
we were laughing our heads off like a couple of school kids.
It felt so nice,so normal and like we hadn’t got a care in the world,a worry free day and it felt good.
We headed towards the centre where all the normal shops were then and had a look around Sports World,B
&G,past the tower and ended up in a coffee shop with the biggest hot chocolate I think I’d ever seen,along
with a chocolate muffin.
I text Manda again and evertime I text she seemed to know where we were,it was freaky! She suggested an
Indian to eat at later on in the evening and what shows were on,it was like having our own little personal
Blackpool guide.
Back in the car we headed off to our hotel with the help of my sat nav,again a hotel recommenced by Manda
and as we drove up the drive to the De Vere Herons Reach we knew it was a good choice.
We booked in and were given keys to room 308 on the first floor,we made our way to the lift passing the
gym,swimming pool,squash courts and restaurants on the way.
As soon as we opened the door we flaked out onto the bed,TV on and reading all the usual pamphlets and
Michelle spotted a room service list :)
We just chilled out and had a little nap which took us to 7.30pm so we’d missed the show which we’d been
told about so we showered and changed and took a drive along the sea front to view the illuminations,and
that again bought back so many memories.
We then headed to the Indian that was recommended but it was that popular there was a queue and Michelle
was getting cold and tired so we called into the take away over the road and got a curry to take back to the
170
hotel.
Once back at the hotel we lay in bed eating our take away and listening to the seals through our open
bedroom window coming from Blackpool Zoo which was next door to the hotel!
After a bottle of wine and food I fell asleep about 11pm because it had been a long day of driving,walking
and eating.
We set the alarm and woke at 8am because Michelle couldn’t wait for her fried breakfast :)
Into the dining room and we had to wait a while for a table,the hotel was full of business men and
women,golfers and oversea visitors.
Breakfast done,case packed,showered and changed we exited our room and made our way to reception to
check out.
I handed to door cards to receptionist and she bought our account up onto the screen and promptly asked
”how do you wish to pay sir?” to which I replied that I’d book on line and already paid.
She went on to say that maybe I’d been mistaken because they usually pre-book a room but it has to be
paid for at the reception on departure using a ATM machine,which she picked up to show me as if I hadn’t
seen one before.
I bit my tongue and she said she’d have to phone the accounts department who’d phone the bank,then
Michelle went to the car to see if she could find our paperwork and that’s where I had to say something.
”I booked on line using the ADVANCE payment system and the payment came out of my bank on September
10TH,if I’ve paid in ADVANCE how can I still owe the money?”
Then just as I’d finished my rant the account department phoned back to say my payment had already been
paid,what a surprise!
The receptionist told the other receptionist that the payment had already been taken and with no apology
I turned around and walked out of the door.
The whole day had been fantastic and no reception was going to spoil that,we’d laughed,reminisced and had
a day to remember and after considering whether to carry on with our blog,it seems days like this one may
of gone unforgotten if I had stopped writing it.
For anyone reading this whether it be one day,one month or one year after it’s been written please go and
have a day out and remember your past because it’s one thing in this life that will never ben taken away
from us.

1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TJS75xOYaUI/AAAAAAAAAHs/lZ8AX4GfDRE/s1600/photo-1001.jpg
2. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TJS75SOdc2I/AAAAAAAAAHk/pZiQEjoDJ7c/s1600/photo-4.JPG
3. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TJS7419qc-I/AAAAAAAAAHc/24Q8gc8S1Ps/s1600/photo-18.jpg

171
Pete’s Funeral (2010-09-18 14:18)

[1]
We were due to meet up with Manda & Pete on our trip to Blackpool but unfortunately Pete sadly passed
away before our trip,as it worked out Pete’s funeral was the day after our trip so we were able to go to pay
our respects at his funeral (although we’d of still made it regardless of when it was)
Sat nav connected and we made our way from the hotel to the church which was about 15 miles away and
we arrived At 10.30am and parked just down the road from the church.
There were a lot of people dressed in black milling about as we had a steady walk to the church,Michelle
still feeling the cold like she does these days.
It was a little awkward because we didn’t really know many people there but spotted a few faces from the
wedding and Mike and his wife introduced themselves and we were asking how long Pete had worked at the
post office for and different things because the truth of it was that we’d only ever know poorly Pete and
none of his life before diagnosis and treatment.
As we stood outside Kay came over and gave Michelle a big hug,and Kay always makes us feel welcome and
she’s one of these people that you feel like you’ve know for years.
After about 15Min’s we made our way to the church entrance where Pete’s work mates from the post office
had gathered in two lines to welcome Pete & his family as they came into church,which was a really nice
thought.
We went into church and was given our booklet and the first thing that struck me was that how many people
were in church already,and we knew there were more outside still.
We took our seats on the back row of the church,they were actually extra seats that had been put out,and
we watched as more and more people came in filling the empty seats and also sitting down in the upstairs
gallery.
We’ve both never been to a Catholic funeral before so didn’t know what to expect,then as the music went
quiet the priests came into the church followed by Pete’s coffin and his long queue of both families and it
took a while to seat everyone.
The priest told some fantastic stories about Pete in a very personal way,not a way that a person would talk
as if he didn’t know him,he talked from the heart and that came across so well.
Onto Pete’s coffin were placed a photograph of him when he went to test drive a BMW X5,a new post office
bag and his beloved Manchester United slippers.
The service carried on with reading from family and friends and Manda’s eulogy to Pete was read by her
Uncle Mick and done beautifully.
172
Pete was worried that no one would come to his funeral or that he’d be forgotten,and from the amount of
people there and words that we heard people speak then Pete would have never ever have to be worried
about being forgotten and the amount of people at his funeral was his own answer to how popular he is.
As Pete’s coffin and family made their way out of church,passing us on the way,Michelle started to cry so I
held her hand tight and gently rubbed her fingers.
I know that she feels guilty that she is still with us and the close friends she’s lost over the last few months
have gone,their loss has hit Michelle hard and sometimes she won’t show how hard but she did in the church.
Whilst a private burial took place we made our way back to the car asking directions on the way to where
the wake was being held.
A couple of men that had come out of the funeral directed us to the middle of no where with no phone
signal,so there we were parked at the side of a country lane waiting for a signal so I could get the postcode
and put it into my sat nav.
once we’d got a signal and postcode we were off again heading for church lane and after passing the main
street through the village,which we recognised from walking up during our wedding stay in May,we came
across Wrye Bank in the middle of the village!
We went to the bar and got ourselves some drink when all of a sudden I felt a couple of arms fling around
my waist and it was Manda,I turned around and we gave each other a big hug followed by one for Michelle.
We had a good catch up and also met her mum Linda again along with Manda’s dad Michael and the lovely
Becki who is Manda’s younger sister and always comes across to chat to us just like she did at the wedding.
We were stood on our own when Kay came across and asked us to join them at their table,which was really
nice.
Unfortunately time was getting on and we’d got a 2 hour + drive back home so we made our sad goodbyes
and after a lot of kisses,hugs and hand shakes we left and got into the car to make our way home.
It’s a day that we would never of ever missed and feel really fortunate that we were invited to pay our
respects to a kind caring man that we only ever had the fortune to actually meet once but knew him through
the power of the Internet and mobile phones for much longer.
People will come and go in your life but memories never will so please don’t worry Pete about being forgotten
because you’ll always have a place in our hearts and minds until the day that we are sent to join you.
RIP & God Bless Pete.
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TJTGRkIdA4I/AAAAAAAAAH0/RRopWidU2YQ/s1600/photo-117.jpg

Too Early For Christmas Shopping? (2010-09-20 18:12)

This morning when the alarm went off I just wanted to turn over in my warm bed and go back to sleep,there
was something wrong with my eyes because they wouldn’t open :)
Then once I hit the shower about 4.30am I soon woke up to the reality of going back to work,it was dark
outside and didn’t want to go.
But as usual with these things after being at work for half an hour it didn’t feel like I’d just had a week off
at all.
It turned out to be a normal day at work and the morning was kind of a haze getting back into it but then
all of a sudden the sun shone through the clouds as I was driving along so I looked up and realised how lucky
I am to have a job like mine,driving around all day in the sun (well most of the time!)meeting customers
that are more like mates because I see them every day.
My phone rang twice in quick concession and it was home and didn’t get chance to answer it but Michelle
always know I’ll phone her back,but she never phones like that and I immediately thought of bad news but
as it turned out it was Matt asking advise about a new mobile phone.
Later in the morning he took his mum a ride to Loughborough to get the new IPhone and they went into
the chip shop to sit down for something to eat.
173
I called Michelle later when they got back and she said that she felt really tired going around Loughborough
and had to tell Matt to slow down,the GP said you can feel like this for years after treatment.
Work finished and I called Michelle on the way home to see if she wanted to start Christmas shopping (I can
see all you faces now and your thinking....in September?)
I know I know but to be honest the build up to Christmas is what Michelle loves the most,wrapping the
presents,writing the presents list and generally being Michelle.
Last Christmas when she was putting the tree away and buying a real tree for outside ”because we can use
it again next year” I thought to myself: ”Why are you doing and saying this because you might not be here
next year” I can say that out loud now and look back and think how could I of thought it? But I did and
there’s no getting away from it,I didn’t think I’d have Michelle here this Christmas.
So this year and every year after this is going to be more precious than any because I know how so so lucky
I am to have Michelle here and only certain people will REALLY understand what I’m saying,people that
have walked in our shoes.
So with wallet in hand we set off on a mission but failed at the first hurdle,Wilkinson’s where Michelle used
to work haven’t got any Christmas paper,bows etc in yet nor did The Card Warehouse,OMG had even we
started too early?
We did pick up a collectors bear that Simon’s girlfriend Danni collects and an Argos book,which Michelle is
reading cover to cover as we speak and she’s occasionally shouting out things she’s seen and who it would
be nice for: ”I’ve just seen some hair straighteners that Katie & Alison would like” and believe me I’ll have
this for the next few weeks and months now along with the moaning that I never wrap anything and if it
was left to me nothing would get done......don’t you just love her!
I thing I might just of made that rod for my own back without intention.....but you all know I love it really
:)
Matt’s been talking to his mum about a new girl he’s seeing,her name is Lucy(not a dog!) and she’s 24 and
lives at home with her mum & dad and works in an accountants.
He said he’s met her mum & dad and will have to bring her around to meet us,that usually when I’m told
to behave and not say anything rude :)
He’s upstairs now having a shower and putting aftershave on so it must be serious.
Ooooo he’s coming downstairs now......and said bye and he’s out the door,blimey that smell should keep the
flies off him lol.
So that leaves Michelle and I alone..........just a minute she wants to show me something in the Argos book!!!

Home Alone (2010-09-22 18:20)

Here I am home alone on this Wednesday night except Lucy,Sooty,Coco & Holly!
Michelle has gone to Kay & Tracy’s house tonight to look after their 2 children Christopher and Maria whilst
Tracy and Kay are away in Chester doing some work for the man that used to own Everyman Racing who
has set up a new venture and Tracy is teaching motor racing while Kay ferries everyone around in a golf
cart!
Originally Tracy & Kay were going tonight but have been busy with work so are going at 6am in the morning
and Michelle didn’t fancy getting up that early :)
I can’t remember the last time I was apart from Michelle for the night but thinking about it,when Michelle
was in hospital with her chest infection must of been the last time.
I laughed and joked with my work mates that it’s going to be great on my own for the night with the bed
to myself and the TV remote,but in reality I hate it.
Lucy will sit with me all night until I go to bed,but that’s only because Michelle’s not here and when she is
I don’t get a look in.
I’ve been reading through our blog today after I got our printed copy back from Andy’s wife Mandy,who
174
now has year two to read.
I knew I’d forgotten so much of what had happened but when I read some of it I didn’t realise how much.
The first stages,the chemo,the radiotherapy,the support from Manda & Pete and Andy & Emma who knew
just what we had coming and how to deal with it.
The house is so quiet and I must remember to record Michelle’s programmes because she’s going out for a
meal when Tracy & Kay picked her up,I didn’t go because I knew one of Tracy’s night’s would be a long one
and I’ve still got to get up for work.
I’d hate it this quiet all the time,Matt’s out too and if I had this every night it would drive me mad.
I know I moan about all sorts of things,banging doors,loud music,mess and that’s just Matt but to be honest
I wouldn’t have it any other way :)
Called into my mum’s on the way back from food shopping today to find out a neighbour of hers who was
55 and lived with his mum and never had a girlfriend had died of a heart attack that afternoon,never know
do we?
Well I’m waffling on now and must get to the TV to record all the soaps and I suppose I’ll have to watch
them all too to make sure they’ve recorded !!!

The Dog, My Mum & A Hangover (2010-09-25 10:12)

If I were reading this blog I would of thought that today’s title was some sort of weird film! So I’ll try and
explain our week and maybe in no particular order.
Thursday was the eventful day that lends itself to the odd title,it was my mums birthday seeing her reach
82 years old and Gary at work couldn’t believe that two years have gone by since I took her on a helicopter
ride for her 80Th birthday.
I took her card and present down after work via the police station (but I’ll come to that in a bit)and her
window was full of cards from family and she was sat playing card games on her DS.
Leanne was on the phone to her and wishing her a happy birthday then quickly followed by Adam calling
her after a text prompt from me,as he works nights he’d only just woke up.
Back home and I was still home alone as Tracy & Kay weren’t getting back until about 9pm and Matt was
taking his new girlfriend Lucy over with him to pick her up.
In true Tracy style when they arrived back at 9pm he sent Kay out to the local shop for some beers and Tia
Maria for Michelle.
From what I can make out after two hours of drinking and nibbles Michelle arrived back home about 11.30pm
when I was well and truly in the land of nod.
The next day Michelle woke up with a hangover and felt rough for the rest of the day,not eating much which
you will all know is unusual for her.
So Friday night she’s been constantly yawning so I told her to have an early night but it doesn’t matter how
tired she is when she gets into bed she feels wide awake.
So on to the dog story,I only had 5 drops to do at work on Thursday and was driving back from Retford to
Chesterfield on my way back home.
Coming through Stavely there was a 30mph speed camera which I pass every day so I slowed to about 27mph
as I went through,and out of no where appeared a medium sized brown dog which ran out in front of me.
There was a big bang and I’d hit the dog with my lorry,I’d got the radio on and one window slightly open but
still heard the awful yelp it let out as I hit it and could see in my mirror it’s legs had gone from underneath
it.
I was shaking like a leaf and pulled up at the side of the road,put my hazard lights on and walked back to
the scene of my crime,the staff from the local shop had heard it along with a family from a house opposite.
There was a man walking his dog who I stopped to talk to but no sign of the injured dog! The man said it
had ran off with it’s tail between its legs up the hill.
175
I got back into my lorry and phoned my transport supervisor to see if I had to report the accident to the
police,he told me that I didn’t need to so I carried on with my journey back home.
Back at the yard and I saw Andy Smith who phoned his friend who is a Sergeant at Coalville police station
to see if I had to report it and he said that not unless I’d killed it.
But back home I wanted to make 100 % sure so phoned the police station in Stavely who said that under
the road traffic act I had to report it to my local station within 24 hours.
So before going to my mums house I went to Coalville police station and had to fill out a form and show
them my driving license and that would be passed on to the station where the accident was and then no
doubt be filed and never to see daylight again.
It’s now Saturday morning and Michelle’s getting dressed,Matt’s turned up for a shower and then he’s off
out again and then we’re off to the hairdressers for Michelle.
This afternoon mum is having a few sandwich’s and cakes for her birthday so we’re off down there for a
couple of hours and no doubt see family that we only see at births,deaths and marriages.

Our Blog Turned Into A Book (2010-09-26 10:57)

We recently let Michelle’s friend Mandy borrow our printed out version of our blog.
She’s a nurse and has worked in all hospital departments and said to us that there are no books out there
for professionals to read like our blog because it’s true life day to day feelings.
She went on to say that it would give a big boost to people who have cancer and are feeling low and can’t
see a way forward reading about Michelle’s attitude and strength.
I’ve looked into making it into a book through this site that hosts it and to be honest it’s very expen-
sive,although you can get a PDF down loadable version for $7.95 and that’s about £5.
There are cheaper places to get your book printed but not sure if I pay for the PDF copy that other printers
will be allowed to print it for copyright reasons.
I’ll have to have a look into it a bit more.
It was nice to see everyone at my mums yesterday,everyone was there except Sarah who had gone off to
watch some dart professional play with her friend as her friends brother is the organiser and Sarah gets free
VIP tickets.
Adam & Lizzie were there along with Jamie,Leanne & James and even Tom & Sam made it out of bed to
put in an appearance!
The afternoon ended with a game of cards for pennies just like we used to play in the 1970’s at Aunt Eileen
& Uncle Arthur’s house (good old memory days).
Lazy day today,it’s cold outside and getting very wintry now so it’ll soon be time to invest in some logs for
our open fire :) although Michelle hates it when I make an open fire because it’s usually too hot and we both
fall asleep within 10 Min’s.

2.10 October

Time For A Change? (2010-10-10 11:01)

This is the longest I have ever left our blog ever since I started it and apologises to regular blog readers for
not updating.
Well where do I start? As you read on it maybe the start,middle and end but not necessarily in that order :)
Driving around all day as a job gives me far too much time to think,analyze,day dream and wind myself up
176
with things that are not all that important really at the end of the day.
That may sound an odd statement but to be honest I do tend to think about things that are so simple but so
annoying to me,for example Matt going up and down stairs with his shoes on and dirtying the cream carpet.
I think it must be a dad thing because if I think about it logically it’s just a carpet and we’ve got better
things to worry about.
I bet you think I’m going mad now and reading the first part back it sounds like I am.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that for me personally things need to change,I’ve found myself being
drawn into the web of cancer life and not being able to get out of it.
I know that Michelle and I will worry about cancer for the rest of our life and there is no way of getting
away from that fact,but we can try and get away from the subject.
The Macmillan calendar,Face Book,websites and soap opera’s are all things that link us to cancer and we
need to get away from it and try to lead a normal(right word?)life again but this getting away would never
include the great friends we’ve made through cancer because I believe they are life long friends and very
special to us both.
So for that reason I’ve deleted my Face Book account and this will be my last year of fundraising and that
sounds selfish when I write it down.
During the last 2 weeks Michelle and I have had a big argument and probably one of the biggest we’ve had
for a very long time and it was the old subject of smoking again.
I knew in my own heart she hadn’t stopped and I can’t get my head around why after what she’s been
through along with the lung scare and her dad dying of lung cancer that she still smokes,if anyone has the
answer please send them on a post card to....
I won’t harp on about it but I will continue to make my feelings know to Michelle.
So to round it up we need a change:
1) Only associate cancer with our hospital visits.
2) Stop thinking about things too much
3) Change the dining room into another TV room.
So we’re now back on track again after falling off our ride once more,Michelle and I are getting on fine and
did some Christmas shopping yesterday and we’re off out again today to do a bit more.
I’ve listed all our dining room furniture on EBay and we’re buying a corner suite and new TV to make it
into another lounge because we rarely use the dining room to eat.
It’ll be somewhere Matt can play his X-Box and somewhere different to relax and make the room feel comfy.

A van, A Mattress & A Change (2010-10-11 17:56)

During Sunday night Michelle felt sick and when she came to bed she couldn’t sleep for feeling sick,we
thought it might of been the toasted sandwich I’d made her in a new machine we’d bought earlier that day
which had an electrical smell!
I woke up feeling rubbish too but hadn’t had a toasted sandwich so we both thought we might have the start
of a bug that’s doing the rounds.
I phoned Michelle when I was on my break at work like I always do every day and she said she felt much
better and didn’t feel sick anymore.
We had a waffle about nothing really but still nice to talk to her when I’m on my break and know she’s OK.
Saturday I had to sort our mortgage out as our 2 year deal was up,but having Michelle’s brother as a self
employed financial advisor is very handy and he sorted us out with his fantastic knowledge of the mortgage
world and one phone call and we were sorted on a great deal for another 2 years.
When we called to see my mum on Saturday she mentioned that she wanted to buy us a memory foam
mattress as a Christmas present because Michelle wakes up every single morning with shoulder ache from
our mattress.
177
Then she phoned today to say that she’d bought us one and it’s being delivered this Thursday :-)
All our stuff from the dining room is now on EBay and if it all sells it’ll leave a bare room so it’ll be a blank
canvas for our new TV room.
Plasma bracket order,suite sorted and ready to be picked up and just need a rug and coffee table now to put
in place once all the old stuff has gone.
Also went out after work today to look for a rug with Michelle and ended up spending £120 on new living
room curtains,didn’t see that one coming!
Matt’s was a bit down today because his mate that had lent him the van needed it back because he’d set
someone on full time.
But as soon as he put the phone down his old boss Gary phoned up and offered him his old job back which
included a van!!
Matt always drops on like that and he loved his old job,although he’s actually a carpenter by trade his new
job is servicing water dispensers in offices.
He’s got to pick the van up tomorrow and start on Wednesday around South Yorkshire and when he gets
back into it he usually stays away in hotels that are paid for by the company.
So today has been a good day for us even if the dining room looks like a tip with all the packaging that
Michelle has done of her Royal Albert ornaments ready to put in the loft.
What the difference a day makes...................

No Getting Away From It (2010-10-12 18:37)

I’ve come to think that I must be a cancer magnet now because every couple of days someone tells me about
someone with cancer.
Today I found out that one of my customers sister-in-law had breast cancer and had gone into hospital for
a mastectomy and every word he said was every thing I knew about....worry,tears,not knowing etc.
When I started my job 9 years a go I knew a customer called Steve who I got on really well with and have
recently found out he died of stomach cancer.
I’m wondering if it’s like when your looking to buy a particular car and all of a sudden you see loads of them
when you’ve never really noticed before.
Is cancer the same? It was always there but you never really took any notice until it affected you or someone
close?
Simon phoned his mum today’s to tell her the rest of the story he’d started last night about his girlfriend
Danni having a big argument with her mum and asking Danni & Simon to leave within a month.
So today Simon was viewing a flat,yes another one looking for a flat at over priced rent,but you can’t tell
them anything can you?
It’s £350 a month plus bills and he’s worried because he’s booked and paid for a holiday next February to
Florida and not sure if he will have any spending money if he takes on a flat.
We can offer advise about bills etc but whether he takes our advise is up to him,Matt didn’t take our advise
and regretted it.
But we have to learn by our mistakes,we’ve all done it and it’s all part of growing up and one day I’ll invent
that machine that can teach us all about hindsight.
After work I picked Michelle up and carried on living the dream in Morrison’s food shopping where we did
our normal shop plus a cake & toy for Lucy our pug who is one year old tomorrow.
Michelle will no doubt sing to her and she’ll have a party with sausage & cake lol (and you think I’m joking?)
Then once home I had to touch up the dolls house ready for a hopeful EBay sale at the weekend,put Michelle’s
ornaments in the loft,cook a chili and show Matt how to use my sat nav after he came home with his new
van ready for work tomorrow..................Phew!
Michelle has been happily wrapping Christmas presents because she loves the build up to Christmas and she
178
loves organising all the presents with her special list of who we’ve bought what and she does that every year.
She off out with Jayne tomorrow for lunch so she’ll probably still be out when I get home from work so
that’ll give me a bit of time to touch up the paint work on the welsh dresser that we’re also selling on EBay.
Matt’s been staying at Lucy’s for a couple of days in her brother’s house as he’s away for a while,so a quick
shower and change and it was ”See you later” and he was off again.
He’s DJ’ing at The Ministry Of Sound in London on Saturday so he’s preparing his set list and looking
forward to that.
So that leaves us two home alone with a chilli and the normal rubbish TV but I wouldn’t have it any other
way :-)

Busy & Not Enough Hours (2010-10-19 17:53)

It’s hard to believe that another week has gone by since I last blogged.
I’m finding it really hard lately to find the time to blog,reply to emails and texts because there doesn’t seem
like there are enough hours in the day lately.
It may also have something to do with my PC not being connected due to our room changing and I’m having
to use the laptop.
After putting all our dining room furniture on EBay last weekend the last thing was collected today,Michelle’s
dolls house.
So we now have a blank room which I’ve emulsioned the same colour as all our rooms in the house which is
Dulux natural hessian.
Michelle has put the curtains back up and I’ve put the conduit up ready for the mass of wires and tried to
put the plasma bracket up but failed because it was on a plaster board wall and had to get some massive
bolts today from Harlow’s.
The week seems to of been taken up by touching up the furniture ready for sale,looking for new furniture
and watching our sales on EBay.
My mum ended up having our dining room table and some garden chairs after we sorted the shed out last
week too.
Yesterday I took Michelle to her GP for a number of things, a new sick note because she’s decided to back to
work after Christmas now so he wrote her one for another 13 weeks.Also to see why she gets tired so quickly
and can’t do what she used to do before.
Dr. Lewis asked her a load of questions about eating,sleeping,feelings etc and his conclusion was that she
was still recovering from treatment and it takes some people longer than others.
Whilst we were there Michelle asked if she needed the flu jab and no sooner as she’d said it he came back
into the room with 2 needles,one for me & one for Michelle!
We both felt a little light headed at first but it soon wore off.
Tomorrow is an appointment at Leicester Royal to see Michelle’s lymphoma consultant for a check up and
it’s hard to believe that it’s been 3 months now since we saw him last.
Then we got an appointment for a CT scan in early December and appointment for results and to see her
cervical consultant a week before Christmas.
So although we’ve got no CT results to base the results on for tomorrow it’ll still be a restless night tonight
because we never take consultants appointments for granted anymore.
I met Matt’s new girlfriend Lucy for the first time last night,I’d missed her in the past due to being busy or
being in bed.
She looks so much like Kelly Brook the model and has a lovely personality & nature and so not like any of
his other girlfriends.
Michelle gets on with her so well too and greets her with a usual Michelle hug & kiss
I thought I was going to find things hard to write in today’s blog because I felt that writing about normal
179
stuff wasn’t what our blog what set up for but then if people are reading this who have cancer or are going
on the same ride as we’re on now then maybe they can see along the way that normal stuff does happen and
it’s not all about hospitals,chemo,radiotherapy and feeling rubbish.
So I suppose the normal days are just as important to write about as the bad days and then it shows the
whole picture.

Hospital & Shopping (2010-10-20 19:54)

I did the usual 5am to 9am shift today so I could finish and take Michelle to Leicester Royal hospital.
I was home for 9.15am and we nipped to Morrison’s to fill the car up then call into a shop Matt had told us
about to get a drill bit to put the plasma bracket up.
Then after going back home to pick some cash up from home that I’d forgotten and we were on our way for
another hospital check up.
We got to the hospital early and Michelle went in for her usual blood tests 45 Min’s before her appoint-
ment,whilst she was in there I saw Linda Beck who came across to chat and we reminisced about what
Michelle had been through and she commented how well Michelle looked.
We also saw Dr.X who had told Michelle that bad news months a go( who I now need to call Dr.X and
edit previous post in case we do turn our blog into a book)and Michelle had told the nurses earlier that she
doesn’t want to be seen by him and they have now put it on her notes.
Then it was into the waiting room where we were about 45 Min’s early,we saw Prof Dyer walk by who
stopped to talk to us and also said how well Michelle looked as did Dr. Symmonds as he walked past and
stopped to chat to Michelle.
Our appointment was for 12 o’clock and at 12.04 we were called in by Dr.Kennedy who we haven’t really
seen since the first start of Michelle’s treatment.
Dr. Kennedy is so nice and he genuinely seemed over the moon to see how well Michelle had responded to
treatment and again how well she looked.
Her bloods,liver & kidney functions were all fine and we don’t have to go back until January to see a lym-
phoma consultant again.
We saw a young couple whilst we were at the hospital who we’d first met when Michelle was in having her
lymphoma biopsy.
She’s got lymphoma and was having her first lot of R-CHOP when we first me,and now she was 8 sessions
into a 12 session treatment,her hair was thinning and everything that Michelle had been through,it was like
looking back at us a few months a go.
After hospital we went furniture shopping and went to a place in Leicester that I’d found on EBay that does
Mexican pine that we were looking for.
We ended up buying a set of drawers & a TV unit for our TV room.
Then a drive of about 30 miles to another furniture shop in Derby that I’d found to find it was only closed
on a Wednesday!
Back home and I had loads of parts in a box to put the set of drawers together and about 3 hours later it
was done,much to Michelle’s delight :-)
So all in all it’s been a great day,good hospital results and some of the furniture sorted.
We both won’t take much rocking tonight with a smile on our faces :-)

Surprise Phone Call (2010-10-21 19:38)

Last night I text our friends who we met through the Macmillan website to see how they were,Andy &
Emma.
180
Then after the text my phone rang with their number coming up and it was a lovely surprise to answer the
call to Andy’s voice.
Although we’ve kept in regular contact since the first week of Michelle’s diagnosis and Michelle & I have
spoke to Emma about hair loss I’ve never spoken to Andy so it was such a lovely surprise.
I’ll never forget the first time Andy contacted me and offered support and was the first person I made contact
with outside the family about Michelle.
We had a good chat and it felt like we’d know each other for years and he was on my level.
Today I got a text off Andy too saying that he’d got a new job and that he could shove the tea
bags...................(lol in joke!)
I was in work today for 5am and had an easy 8 drops but then had to go into a 2 hour meeting about dignity
at work to explain that from 1ST.November we can’t swear at work or be offensive to other worker,lol we’re
lorry driver’s and it’s what we do!
Finished at 4pm and rushed home to see if we could make it in time to get to the furniture shop in Derby
but it turned out we hadn’t got time so we’ll have to go after work tomorrow if I finish early enough.
Matt’s sorted the plasma bracket after a lots of different screws & methods.
The furniture company called to say the TV stand was in so Jason will hopefully pick that up for me on his
route tomorrow.
I’d better wrap it up for now because I’m still on the laptop and the battery is running low,and I want to
try and keep our blog updated more regular now.
Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow.............

Man Flu & Baby Sitting (2010-10-24 14:02)

After work on Thursday I picked Michelle up and we shot over to the sofa shop in Derby,picked the suite
and arranged to pick it on Thursday.
Then the man at the shop where we’d bought the TV unit called and said it was ready to be picked up so
Jason,a mate at work,agreed to pick it up for me because his route is around Leicester.
He went to the shop 3 times and it was closed every time due to Friday’s being pray day and they didn’t
open until 2.30pm.
Friday was a quiet day at work and we went to Ikea to have a look around and Michelle ended up buying a
set of 3 candles,a bag of decorative stones and a brown dish to put it all in,I was so knackered by now that
when we got to the till I just paid up.
Then when I got home I looked at the receipt and we’d been charged £24 for one bowl!
My mobile rang and it was Kev at work asking if I wanted to work on Saturday (which I don’t really do)
about a trip to Bristol,so I agreed.
When I looked on the Internet where it was it was so south of Bristol it was in Somerset,a 9 hour round trip!
Saturday morning I’d set the alarm for 4am but woke up early so thought I might as well get up and have a
shower then get it done out of the way.
I got to work for 3.55am,sorted my lorry and drove out of the yard in the pouring rain,and 4 hours later
arrived in Somerset to drop off the 6 tonne of paper,had a 3/4 hour sleep and drove back.
I left and picked Michelle up to go to Leicester ti pick the TV unit up and it cost me another £65 for a book
case whilst we were there.
We then shot off to Ikea to get a £20 refund for the over charging of that bowl.
On the way back home we picked up Christopher & Maria from Tracy & Kay’s house to look after them for
the night whilst they went out.
A quick trip to Morrison’s for Pizza and toffee apples and we were sorted for the night,although I lasted until
about 7pm before I fell asleep.
Today I’ve woken up with the worst kind of cold possible....man flu!
181
So I’m staying in bed today feeling sorry for myself but know where this cold has come from,it was having
the lorry window open yesterday to keep me awake.
Today’s blog seems all to be about me,I can condense Michelle’s last couple of days down to:
Thursday...Chinese takeaway
Friday.....Fish,chips & peas
Saturday...Curry,rice & nan bread(eaten in the car on the way to Ikea)
Sunday.....Indian Takeaway (which she’s just planned as I type)
Tracy & Kay have just picked the kids up and have left a £150 voucher which he bid on at a charity auction
last night for homeopathy,so I’ll have to google that and see what it involves.
Slobbing about Sunday today for us both today now.

2.11 November

Changing Situation (2010-11-07 11:27)

It has been another 2 weeks now since I blogged and there are several reasons for that,one is that I can’t
seem to find time or can’t make time might be more accurate.
Thinking back to when we had chemo,radio and so many hospital appointments I had time to blog then and
it was because I’d got something to blog about and now we’ve not got all the hospital stuff it feels like if I
write about day to day things it becomes more of a diary and I feel as if I have to edit it more.
To catch up with what’s been happening starts last Saturday when the chimney sweep came to sweep our
chimney and clean our sofa’s.
Whilst he was working away I decided to strip one wall in the living room and replace it with some trendy
patterned that Michelle had seen whilst watching those DIY programmes.
I finished stripping the wall whilst he was there and after he’d gone I emulsioned 3 wall’s and put the paper
on the chimney wall and finished about 7.30pm and it looked like a new room.
Michelle’s week has been a full one with her losing count of how many times people said to her ”I can’t
believe how well you look”
On Monday Michelle’s brother Shaun picked her up for a full English then onto see the finished version of
her mum’s house that is now in the estate agents ready for renting then on to see Sheila at her nursing home.
Tuesday saw Jayne picking Michelle up for lunch at the Bulls Head carvery and then after a bit of shopping
she took Michelle up to King Ed College where Michelle had to hand what she hopes will be her final sick
note in and to explain to the site manager that she was hoping to return to work in January on light duties
and only doing one shift from then on.
As always they were fully supportive of Michelle and she went onto the art department where she works.
She saw Maggie who is the head of department and Maggie hadn’t seen Michelle for months when she looked
really ill and had lost a lot of weight,she couldn’t believe how well Michelle looks.
Michelle also saw another teacher who hadn’t seen her for a long time and after commenting that Michelle
had put weight on has nick named her Billy Bunter!
Wednesday came and after work I phoned Sky up to try and sort out an extra box so I can move the TV
down stairs and get that room up and running.
I went down the retentions route and said I wanted to leave and get free view HD in stead of Sky,I got
through and after my threatening to leave speech I got a free HD box,free fitting,free HD for 6 months and
free extra multi-room box and fitting so all in all a good deal and they are coming out on Wednesday to do
that.
Today we received a parcel from Manda which contained some lovely knitting which her mum Linda had
done (thank you so much Linda if your reading this)
182
I will take a whole days blog soon to explain what the knitting if for :)
On Thursday I was wrestling with Michelle on the bed,and that not a euphemism for anything else we were
actually playing wresting!
I went a bit over the top and gave Michelle one of my famous ’clothes line’ moves where I pretend to do a
’belly splash’ but her elbow got in the way and dug into her ribs.
All that night and since then she can’t sleep on that side,I’ve offered to take her to the walk in centre but I
think she’s had enough of hospitals for a while.
This morning I got the injured wrestler breakfast in bed at 10am,sausage & egg with brown sauce and a cup
of coffee which she hoovered up in no time.
No plans for today apart from watching the highlights of the rugby which I’m doing now and then the
Brazilian grand prix much to the disgust of Michelle who wants to watch the X-Factor for about the 3rd
time!
So that’s where we are at now,and after catching up with the blog and getting back into it I always have the
good intentions of blogging more frequently again but never do.
I’d to know if this pattern of life on a roller coaster ride about how we feel,what we do and what we blog is
normal?
Each ride will be different so some many people and I’m just interested in how our life now is compared to
others that have been down a similar road to us.
Life is good for us both right now,Michelle looking forward to Christmas and doing all her planning and lists
and me looking forward to having Michelle here for Christmas.

Week Off Work (2010-11-14 08:34)

It’s a quiet Sunday morning and I’m sat on my own with my laptop updating our blog,then just as I say
that the dog’s start doing mad playing with each other.
It’s been a busy week at work and even did 4 hours loading lorries yesterday 6am-10am.
But now I’ve got a week off work using up my last 5 days holiday before Christmas.
Michelle went out Christmas shopping with Jayne to Fosse Park in the week and they always have a laugh
together,they are so a like.
When they went somewhere for something to eat they saw a man in his 80’s having curry & rice
with........brussel sprouts!!
Andy & Mandy got tickets for ’Million Pound Drop’ for last Saturday,so they booked a hotel and drove down
to London but after booking into the hotel they set out for the show and due to an underground terminal
being closed they turned up 2 hours late and were refused entry.
Last night they had tickets to see the ’Haye V Harrison’ fight in Manchester and sent me a photo of the
boxing to say they’d actually made it there!
Not got any plans for this week but do know that I’m not doing any jobs around the house,well that is until
Michelle finds me some to do.
Might go a ride to Meadow hall in Sheffield to do some Christmas shopping and got to look on EBay for
(SHHHHH) Peter Kay tickets for either Michelle’s birthday at the end of the month or Christmas.
Today’s blog is in no particular order because I’m just writing it as I remember things and just lately I’ve
been having to write lists to remind me to do things.
Anyway I just remembered that the Sky man came on Wednesday to fit Sky HD,well I say fit because all he
had to do was attach 2 cables from the old box to the new box and then in the new TV room he was fitting
Sky+ multi-room and again I’d already fitted the cables but not to the dish and that’s where the health &
safety madness came in.
I could hear him drilling outside and couldn’t understand why because he’d only got to attach the 2 cables
to the dish about 15 foot off the ground,so I went outside to see what he was doing.
183
He was drilling a hole in the wall to attach a hook that attached to his ladder to keep it in place and then
went and put on a full harness to attach him to the ladder!
He only went up about 6 or 8 steps on the ladder and left me with a hole in my wall that I’ve got to fill.
Matt had helped me down stairs the night before with the TV and he arrived back from work just as the
man was finishing so we ripped the plastic cover off the new corner suite and he hasn’t been out of there
since.
I’ll have to read our blog back but I think November is going to be the first whole month since May 2009
that we haven’t been to the hospital.
Although it didn’t at the start time has flown by and you forget what you did and when you did it and I’m
so grateful to have the blog here to remind us.
This week has also been a cruel reminder of how cancer can be as we got a text message to say that a very
close friend’s Grandma had terminal cancer and they are like our second family so it hit home hard.
When people ask us in the future what we did in 2010 my answer will be ”How long have you got?”

Winter Bug & Cold (2010-11-21 11:39)

I guess updating every Sunday’s not bad is it? I remember when I used to blog every day and sometimes
more than once a day when things were going on.
Well it’s been a very cold and grim week off as far as the weather was concerned,we
hit the shops on Monday to finish off most of the Christmas shopping and then the rest of the week just
relaxed and chilled out.
When the weather is bad Michelle never fancies going out because she feels the cold so much now,much more
that before her diagnosis.
Also mid week Michelle got the start of a winter bug that’s still doing the rounds and which she got last
time too,so she’d rather relax in home.
When she does feel under the weather I always think bad thought and I think that’s going to be a life long
thing for me,nothing I can do about it and i suppose it’s natural with what we’ve both been through.
Not sure where my week off did go to be honest,although Michelle did find me some odd jobs to do around
the house and when she does that it’s easier being at work :)
I did get an email from a company that I’ve contacted in the past about turning our blog into a book but I
think I’ll leave it to the New Year now because I’ve still got to edit some part’s that contain certain doctors
name’s etc so I don’t get into trouble if I do publish it.
So it’s now Sunday afternoon and it’s like the Sunday after the big school holidays with getting my uniform
ready,bed early and back to work in the morning!
Michelle has got a CT scan at 9am on Wednesday which Kay is going to take her to,then a blood test the
first week in December at her GP’s and the CT results on December 15TH.
I know it’s only every 3 months now for CT and then results but we both still hate them but it’s something
we know we’ve got to do on our roller coaster ride.

Snow & Snoring (2010-11-28 09:21)

Here we are back again for what now seems a Sunday morning ritual for our blog.
When I first started writing this blog if it wasn’t daily then I start from the beginning and write about what
we’d done in order but I now write what I remember.
Well the first thing I remember about this week is waking up Saturday morning to a snow covered lawn as
I looked out of the window and the temperature all week has been freezing,apparently its the earliest snow
184
for this time of year for about 17 years, and my opening lines are about the weather!
The start of the week was a CT scan mix up,first of all Michelle had text Kay (Michelle’s new obsession
is texting) and arranged for her to pick her up for a 9.30am CT scan on Wednesday but then Michelle
remembered it was 9am so text her back.
Later on Monday the answer machine came on and it was the hospital to say don’t attend your CT scan on
TUESDAY because the machine was broke,so in fact Michelle hadn’t even got the right day so a phone call
by me to Kay sorted it out and I’m now taking Michelle on this Tuesday......confused? !!!
For anyone that knows Michelle will know how she can’t sleep without the window open regardless of the
weather and now she’s ended up with a stiff neck but I must admit it’s rather bad and she’s in a bit of pain
with it,so it’s been hot water bottle with Fiery Jack rubbing cream and lots of coffee made by me.
I’ve been doing all the washing & cleaning and it reminded me so much of how I did it all when Michelle was
having chemo & radio and I wonder now how I did it all with working but at the time I suppose you get on
with it because you have to.
So with this bad neck come with Michelle sleeping on her back and my sleep has dwindled due to the noise
of her ear bursting snoring!
This week at work has been really busy and also our Macmillan calendar for 2011 has finally been sorted and
will hopefully got to the printers next week,so that means organising a paper delivery,getting the calendar
from the printers to the finishers then getting it from the finishers to who ever is going to post them (not
worked that one out yet!)
We’ve only got 4 weeks to sell them so it’s down to me,Manda & Claire to get them sold and Manda always
does a great job sorting the on-line sales whilst Claire sorts the PR out so hopefully we’ll beat last years
sales.
It’s Michelle’s birthday tomorrow on November 29Th and I haven’t even got her a card yet or a present so
I’ll have to do it after work tomorrow because I’m not defrosting the car to go out today and i don’t usually
give her anything until after I finish work anyway,she likes to wait!
I’m sat in the kitchen now after taking Michelle her water bottle & coffee and I’ve got the heating on but
it’s a waste of time because I’ve left the back door open for Holly & Lucy and they keep running in and out
playing in the snow ans chasing each other,hopefully they’ll get tired and I can get warm,although in this
weather we do love our open fire in the living room even if it is a pain to clean out in the morning,a job
Michelle hates with a passion.

2.12 December

Mid Week Blog! (2010-12-01 15:18)

Wow a blog entry in the middle of the week :)

I wanted to put an entry in for Michelle’s birthday which was on Monday,and every birthday Michelle now
has we are both so grateful for.
Just like Christmas she loves to spread opening her cards & presents through the day,although I hadn’t got
her anything until a trip to Loughborough after work.
The florist came to her early afternoon with Inter flora delivering two hand tied flowers,one from Tracy &
Kay and one with white Lillie’s from me because they are her favourite and the ones she had on our wedding
day.
Matt was staying away in Manchester with work so he’d left a card & present and text her to wish her happy
birthday,later Jayne came around with a card and present followed by Inter flora again with flowers from
Gaynor.
Simon & Danni came after work with another card & present and stayed for a couple of hours to finish off
185
a lovely day for Michelle.
Because of her stiff neck I didn’t take her out to eat so cooked her a chili and bought her a birthday cake.
After my blog on Sunday we spent the afternoon watching our wedding video from 2004.
We were amazed how things change so quickly,seeing all the bridesmaids and page boy and how they have
grown up and how little they looked then.
Also saw

Birthday, Death & Worry (2010-12-11 09:23)

Today’s title may seem a little morbid but all will be explained as we go on.
I did write a blog entry in the middle of last week but ended up hitting something on the keyboard and it
all disappeared,so I’m back again for another try.
November 29Th was Michelle’s 49Th birthday (shhhh!)and in usual Michelle birthday style she never likes
to open her present all in one go and like to make them last all day,just like she does on Christmas day.
Lunch time saw her first flowers arrive, one from Tracy & Kay and mine which were white lilies,her favourite
flowers and the ones she had on our wedding day.
I then came home from work and bought her presents and cards so she opened them along with Matt’s that
he’d left for her as he was working away and staying out for the night in Manchester.
Simon & Danni came about 7pm and stayed for 2 hours and bought his mum a great card with a pug on
the front and when you opened it up there was a pug inside with a vibrating tail!
She also had a lovely mug & card from Manda that had photo’s of Lucy,Manda & Pete’s wedding,Leanne &
James wedding and one of Michelle.
She also had loads of text messages including one from Andy & Emma which is always nice.
So all in all I think she had a good day.
On Tuesday 30Th November I finished work on time to pick Michelle up and take her for the rearranged CT
scan at Leicester Royal.
We got there for 4.10pm with our appointment at 4.20pm,passing the Macmillan shop on the way in with
all it’s wigs,bandanna’s and leaflets.
As soon as Michelle registered at reception she was called through,we sat down and she had to drink the
standard two glasses of water,although she got away with one because she started gagging because she hates
plain water and the woman sat opposite was laughed and told Michelle to think it was a gin & tonic.
Michelle was in and out like it was a normal day at the office,she’s had so many now we’ve lost count.
This week has been awful at work with temperatures reaching -13c and plenty of icy roads to deal with.
I got stuck in my lorry on Tuesday and had to get dug out by two men who were clearing their yard,not nice
to drive in at all and it meant I wasn’t finishing work until 5 or 6pm.
Sadly the bad driving conditions claimed the life of a young lad in his 20’s from work called Dean.
He worked in the warehouse and always had a smile and hello for you but last Friday he was involved in a
three car pile up which ended up as a hit and run and one car left the scene and three people dead including
Dean,very sad.
Michelle’s bad neck is better now,although I do still worry about her on a daily basis.
I think I’ve mentioned in previous blog entries that I always think the worst when it comes to Michelle’s
health and to be honest I think it’s always going to be that way.
This week she said that she’s not feeling as hungry as she used to but in the same breath said she wants
to cut back to try and lose some weight,but my mind is doing over time thinking.....loss of appetite? and I
don’t want to spell it out but you know what I mean.
Then she went light headed because ’I stood up too quickly’ and then my mind went racing away again.
I have to write down what I think in our blog so hopefully who is ever reading this now will maybe understand
what it’s like being on a roller coaster ride,whether they’ve been through the same or want to know what to
186
expect,although we’re all different I know.
I wish I’d got a time machine right now to wind us back 2 years and then lets start again.................

Sunday Morning Blog (2010-12-12 11:00)

[1]
An unusual thing I know blogging two days in a row!
It’s a quiet Sunday morning and I’m looking on the Internet for Michelle’s
Christmas present so thought I’d pop in for a little blog at the same time.
I can’t believe that Christmas is now only 2 weeks away and this time last year
was when Michelle’s hair was starting to fall out.
She went to the hairdressers yesterday and the results are shown in the photo’s.
I want something unusual for Michelle this year and I know she loves flying especially
the helicopters so I’ve been on the net looking at a helicopter lesson,glider flight or microlight flight.
My so called quiet morning has changed now after 2 phone calls,one from my mum to say that her TV is
not working so I’ll call and see what I can do.
Then Michelle’s brother Tracy called to arrange to meet up at his house after we’ve been to the nursing
home to see Michelle’s mum Sheila.
Writing the blog is becoming a little hard for me again,now that we’ve not got the hustle and bustle of the
hospital when life was a little mad and we had plenty to blog about.
I don’t want to just carry on blogging for the sake of it and end up writing about a load of rubbish that is
no help to anyone on a roller coaster ride but then again this blog was created to help us and remember the
things we’d forgotten about.
I still can’t work out that when Michelle was having treatment and I was working full time we had time to
blog but now we never seem to have time,or is it just the lack of content?
We have decided that we do want to turn our blog into a book and will try and sort that out after Christ-
mas,although it is quite expensive from what I’ve read so far about it.
OK I’m getting my orders to get ready and set off for another day in the life of Michelle & Pat.
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fk7Z6j3GhB4/TQSyL7Kku5I/AAAAAAAAAH8/gDMTVhUPUQk/s1600/photo1.jpg

Bloody Hospitals! (2010-12-15 15:26)

Since our last blog it’s been nothing but hospital this & hospital that.
First of all Adam’s girlfriend Lizzie was admitted into hospital with stomach pains but was discharged as they
187
couldn’t find anything wrong with her but was then re-admitted to Derby hospital with the same problems
and is still in hospital now undergoing tests.
Then Adam went to Leicester Royal A &E with stomach pains and he’s off work for 2 weeks on anti-biotic.
Third of all was Jamie having to have an ambulance called with a heart rate of 156,although due to his
muscular dystrophy his normal heart rate is 120.
Lastly was Leanne admitted to Leicester Royal on Monday night with stomach & leg pains and was in there
until 6.45pm last night.
She was told she’d be able to go home at 8am yesterday morning after her tablets have arrived,and at 6.45pm
they arrived I took one frustrated daughter home.
Today it’s been our turn for the hospital with CT results.
Kay picked us up,and me being the unlucky omen when it comes to the hospital car park,there was a massive
queue.
We got there on time and walked in to book Michelle in and the receptionist even knows her name now!
Then we got called to our favourite top man.....Dr. Symmonds (which I think I spell differently every time)
to hear some good news.
All the cervical is still clear,any signs of any lung nodes have gone and he still thinks that it was some scaring
from Michelle’s chicken pox.
Even the lymphoma site has shrunk a bit more.
He also went on to say that cervical cancer is most prone to returning within the first year after treatment
finished,and Michelle is now 15 months post cervical treatment.
So now it’s gone to every 4 months to see the cervical team!
Michelle gave Dr Symmonds a hug but he’s not very affectionate in that way and afterwards he looked
shocked like he’d been touched up!!
So a celebratory full English was the order of the day at Kim’s cafe to end a great day of news after a week
of hospital nightmares.
And I am so proud of Michelle with all the treatment she’s been through and how she’s personally dealt with
it all,the best Christmas present we could of wished for.
UPDATE: Adam has just phoned to say that he’s taken his HGV test again and passed!
Andy & Emma can you please send me a text as I’ve lost everyone’s phone numbers in my mobile.

Emotional (2010-12-18 07:48)

I’ve just been reading our blog from around this time last year to see what we were up to,and it’s a bit like
this year again minus the chemo.
It’s now ONE WEEK to Christmas day and want to know where that year went?
It’s 7.50am and I’m up and about and am going to brave the shops this morning to attempt to finish my
Christmas shopping off.
Michelle’s tucked up warm in bed as the temperature outside is freezing.
Yesterday just like last year Tina picked Michelle up for her works get together with the teachers at college.
They just did a buffet this year so when Michelle got home and complained she was hungry I wasn’t surprised.
Everyone told Michelle how well she looked apart from one woman who said she’d put weight on,and was
shot down in flames then by one of Michelle’s friends.
She came back with her Christmas cards and counted them out to see how many she’d got and we then see
who’s got the most mates!
Yesterday for me was quite an emotional one for a number of reasons.
As I’ve said before driving all day is the worst thing to have time to sit and think about things and yesterday
was no different.
I thought back to last year and Michelle’s hair falling out,chemo near New Years Eve but what really set me
188
off was an Ellie Goulding cover of Elton John’s your song.
As soon as it came on and I listened to the words and I thought of our good friend Pete who sadly passed
away in September.
I just saw him in my head when we met for the first time in the golf club and he stood up and hugged
Michelle then me,and at his wedding reception where he was laughing and joking and looked like he’d had
the best day of his life.
We both can’t believe he’s gone and at such a young age and I’m sorry if whoever is reading this gets upset
but I had to write down what I felt and it’s all part of our roller coaster ride.
I also had some bad news about this years charity calendar that it won’t be ready now until December 22ND.
It’s so frustrating for me because I started work on the calendar in July and it’s taken this long to sort out
and I feel that I’ve failed slightly this year.
Well it’s now nearly 8.10am and the Christmas vultures will be circling so I’d better head out and join the
merry band of shopper,wish me luck............

We’re Going To Be Grand Parents!! (2010-12-22 15:32)

It’s not a closely guarded secret within our families but I’ve never mentioned it on our blog before because
of a few reasons.
Between us both we have five children from my previous marriage and Michelle previous long term part-
ner,mine are Adam(22),Jamie(21) & Leanne(20) and Michelle’s are Simon(23) & Matt(22) although they are
all both our children in our own minds.
Well I can now announce that Leanne & James are having a baby which is due in the middle of January and
they know it’s a boy who they are going to name Kyran Jamie.
Leanne has chosen the name of Jamie as she thinks the world of her brother and does so much for him and.
So that means it’s going to be Grandad Pat & Grandma Michelle,how old does that make us feel!
People will work out that Leanne was pregnant when she got married,which people frown upon,but I love
my daughter and will always fight her corner.
Things never work out the way they should sometimes,we’re not all perfect,but as long as Leanne & James
are happy then that’s OK by us.
A few months previous Leanne had a miscarriage and it hit her hard and I didn’t think it was right to blog
about it because that was her personal journey and that’s the main reason I’ve left it this long to blog about
their situation now.
Life is a funny journey that we are on and when the chips are down it’s hard but sometimes things happen
when you least expect it and it makes up for all the bad things.
This time last year Michelle & I along with Manda & Pete and Andy & Emma were all on our own journeys
and now a year on,and for different reasons,we all have our own plans,dreams and thoughts that carry us on
into another year.
When we were both in Morrison’s yesterday doing the Christmas big shop (Peter Kay!) we saw a work mate
called Justin,he said hello and we chatted.
Then today at work he said to me ”I had to do a double take yesterday when I saw Michelle because I thought
you were with another woman,I couldn’t believe how well she looked”
And that said it all for me,I know she is well but seeing her every day it doesn’t dawn on me how well she
really looks until someone passes a comment like that.
I’ll hopefully be back on Christmas eve for a final blog before we eat,drink and be merry!

189
19 Months Along Our Ride. (2010-12-24 16:32)

This time 12 months a go today Michelle went for a CT scan on Christmas Eve with Kay and we were 7
months into our roller coaster ride.
It’s now Christmas Eve 2010 and it’s now 19 months since we started our roller coaster ride and Michelle is
in remission from both cancers,and that is our best Christmas present that we could of wished for.
My day started at 4.45am when I got up and dived into the shower,which always does a great job of waking
me up.
I picked up Justin & Gaz as I always do on Christmas eve as some of them go down the pub after work but
I’m always running around and never get a chance to go.
Then I had 3 drops and 70kg to deliver followed by meeting up with Andy Smith for a full English before
heading back to the yard.
Then a lot of drinking coffee and sitting around before we were allowed out at 1pm.
Michelle LOVES Christmas eve so so much and it’s her favourite day of the holidays.
She loves getting every thing ready,putting presents out and making every where clean and tidy.
Even Matt changed his room around and hoovered and cleaned his room with Lucy!
I dropped Justin off at the pub then me and Gaz headed to the shops to buy my wife and Gaz’s girlfriend a
Christmas card.
When we got back to the car I had a parking ticket on my car,which was parked in the Co-OP car park,I
had a parking ticket on my car.
I opened it up to read that it was for £30 within 2 weeks or £60 after that,then Gaz noticed it was for a blue
Fiat when I was in a black Ford fiesta and it had been issued the day before.
I took it into the CO-OP and the woman behind the counter said that they don’t issue tickets because it’s
a private car park,so I told her to throw it in the bin.
I then headed home for a shower and we were soon off to Shepshed to pick Michelle’s mum up from the
nursing home.
She was ready,looked lovely and had her case packed ready for 6 days away from there.
I sorted her tablets out when we got back and she’s got 9 different sorts to take at all times of the day,but
she says they don’t work and aren’t doing her any good.
Right now she with Michelle upstairs settling into her little spare room where she’s staying with her new
slippers that Michelle has bought for her stay.
She loves seeing her mum and I think after last year when Michelle wanted a quiet Christmas because of her
treatment,this year she’s making the most of family being around her.
We’ve had one bit of bad news and that is that Matt had a letter arrive today at about 3pm to tell him that
he’s being made redundant for the second time form the same company as he did this time last year.
But Matt being Matt usually sorts himself with something and being a qualified carpenters it would be nice
if he could find something permanent in that line.
Michelle is worried but I told her not to worry over Christmas and not to let it spoil her holiday time.
He’s off our for Christmas drink now and we’ll worry about his job in the new year.
We’d both like to wish all our loyal blog followers a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Boxing Day 2010 (2010-12-26 13:34)

It’s now day 2 of eating and drinking too much as usual at Christmas.
Yesterday was just a blur with food,drink,presents & family.
Christmas day saw me getting up at 4am to put the turkey in but soon went back to bed.
Then we both got up at about 9am shortly followed by Sheila and then Matt.
Presents exchanged and lunch prepared it was off down my mums for round 2 of presents.
190
Back home it was a full house with Simon & Danni joining us this year for lunch.
You may remember that last year Michelle didn’t want anyone here because of how she felt so this year as I
poured the champagne that Andy & Mandy had bought us earlier in the year with the message ’drink this
when you’ve got some good news’ Michelle said a little speech of how she loved everyone being here this year
and to the good news we recently got from the hospital.
It’s now Boxing Day 2011 and Sheila has stayed in bed until 12.30pm and when she got up she was in a
paranoid mood and I then realised she’d missed her am tablets.
All she wanted to do was go back to bed but if we’d let her then she’d of been in there all day.
Michelle’s now sorted all her tablets out and a couple of hours later and she seems a lot better,just goes to
show how well her medication works,although Sheila always says it’s not doing her any good.
Matt been in then out then in then out again,but that’s a normal day for him!
He’s been setting up his DJ stuff that he had for Christmas from us and his girlfriend Lucy.
He’s just come back with a chair now from Argos and put that up.
Shaun & Viv are due around 5pm for a drink and to take Sheila to their house for a couple of days.
It’s 2pm and again Michelle seeing if she really does like Tia Maria,hope so because she’s got 5 bottles to
get through :)
======================================-
============================== =================
I’ve just posted and read back what I’ve written and to me it doesn’t seem all that interesting or in depth.
The problem is that I don’t think everyone wants to read every little detail of our Christmas so try to
condense down what has happen,but then that seems to come across as not enough(if that makes sense?)
I want to record the little important things that we’ll of forgotten about in the future but not general stuff
that everyone does,but then again what do people really want to read? I don’t know I’m just writing it!
I keep saying that when things get very day to day and there is nothing to blog about that is interesting
then it’s time to stop,and although our roller coaster ride will never end the time for blogging about it will
have to end one day.
====================================-
================================ =================

New Years Eve 2010 (2010-12-31 19:42)

This is a quick and short entry but one that we really needed to write down.
2010 is now coming to an end and it’s been a year of so many things far too
many to list but a year that we’ll never forget.
Along our 2010 roller coaster ride we’ve laughed,cried,been close to the end
and lost very close friends to cancer.
This entry could go on forever but our regular blog reader’s will understand
how we feel as 2010 comes to an end.
Tomorrow is another day,another year and another challenge and
we both send all our love and best wishes to everyone we know and love.
May 2011 be a year we all remember for better reasons and thanks to everyone
for their continued love,support & friendship.
HAPPY 2011!!!

191
192
Chapter 3

2011

3.1 January

Busy Start To 2011 (2011-01-08 10:26)

The first week of 2011 has been and gone and it’s been a busy one.
New years day was spent as it is every year down my mums house where she makes
lunch for everyone,or rather me and Janet make the lunch and everyone else eats.
We picked Leanne and James up from Loughborough,Simon was working and Matt wasn’t back from DJ’ing
all night and Adam was no where to be seen and Michelle and i haven’t seen him all Christmas which I’m
fuming about but will leave that rant for another day.
Work started back for me on January 4Th and being very busy it was Friday before I knew it.
Matt called his work to see about handing his van back in after being made redundant on Christmas Eve
and was told they had some work for him?!?!
He’s not sure what’s going on but he’s had work all week and went to Sunderland Thursday and stayed over
until Friday.
He got home Friday tea time,got changed and a bus was picking him up to DJ in London at 7.30pm,he’s
now back home and in bed and DJ’ing at The Emporium tonight.
Michelle has been worrying about work because for the first two weeks so won’t be doing her own job,she’s
got to stay with a supervisor to start off with then see how things go.
But she’s also started on her spending spree again,like she used to before because it her own words ”it makes
me happy to buy things”
I can’t believe she’s be going back to work in 3 weeks time,only two & a half hours a day but she’s looking
forward to going back.
I’ve also sorted Michelle’s new phone this week putting her some apps on,set up picture messaging and she’s
now also got an email address,EBay account and Face Book account,although not sure if I’d done right there
lol.
The calendars finally arrived on Wednesday so we’ve been posting them off and trying to sell to family &
friends.
Then yesterday out of the blue a reporter who covered last years calendar from The Leicester Mercury phoned
me up and wanted an interview and photo!
I did my bit and then he phoned Michelle up to talk to her,and arranged for a photographer to come to the
house too.
When the photographer turned up I opened the door to be met by an old school friend who I hadn’t seen
for maybe 30 years,we’d gone through all our schools together right from primary,so after chatting for ages
I think it took longer that it should of done.
193
This weekend is supposed to be the most depressing weekend of the year but we’ve both decided that we’re
not going to put things off this year and make it a good year to enjoy.
I’ve got Michelle to write a list of things she wants to do this year and so far she’s got 1) A trip to Harrods
where she’s never been. 2) A visit to Denby pottery centre and 3)A holiday in Barbados!
She also wants a new bathroom suite downstairs and a new kitchen floor,at this rate I’ll be working all day
and night :)
We haven’t made any New Years resolutions because we both know we’ll have broken them in a couple of
weeks anyway,although it is quite funny to see the January jogger along with people only eating fruit etc.
We’ve made a positive start to the new year,and fingers that it’ll last all year.

Never Know What’s Around The Corner (2011-01-16 09:47)

During our roller coaster ride you never know what’s going to happen next or what little surprise there is
just around the corner,and this week has been no exception.
The week when we’re planning our summer holiday and what needs doing in the house and a surprise letter
arrives for Michelle from the Job centre.
It was asking her to fill a form out for ’limited capability for work’ form and return it no later than February
23rd.
So that’s now set Michelle off in panic mode,which I hate,so I made a call to our Macmillan nurse Belinda
and she’s referring us to a Macmillan benefit’s advisor.
If I remember right the last time I spoke to Macmillan they told me Michelle would be able to work less than
16 hours a week doing ’permitted work’ and still keep her ESA money.
She’s due to start back on light duties doing less than 16 hours at the end of January so hopefully she won’t
have to fill that in,we’ll wait and see what the benefits advisor says first,but until it’s sorted all our plans
are on hold waiting to see where we are financially.
Matt’s work finally dried up last Monday so he’s finished work now,and give him his due he’s been at the
job centre looking for work and registered with the agency’s.
He’s also spent the last of his wages on a Vauxhaull Tigra,it’s only an old one but same as he says,he’s got
more chance of work if he’s got transport.
I spent 2 days this week going to bed straight after I got un from work because my incisional hernia was
giving me grief and in doing so missed Leanne going down to my mums for her 20Th birthday,although she
did offer to come up but I felt rubbish.
Wednesday saw a photographer from the Loughborough Echo turn up to take Michelle’s photo with the
calendar after they’d seen the article in The Leicester Mercury,unfortunately both pieces didn’t raise any
extra interest in calendar sales.
At least Michelle & Lucy had their 15 minutes of fame :)
Yesterday I borrowed a lorry from work to help Mark & Ruth next door move house,they were only moving
about 1/2 mile away into a nice four bed detached with a garage.
We’d got it all sorted by mid-day and i caught a glimpse of the new neighbours but not to talk to,it’s one of
Mark’s mates and he bought it from Mark in a private sale.
Last night was my work Christmas bash (yes in January I know!)
We all met up at the Flying Horse Chinese and had a few beers,some lovely food,which I ate with chop sticks!
Then home to Michelle via the chip shop for her supper :)

194
The Night Before (2011-01-18 18:00)

It’s come around to that time again for a hospital appointment :(

Tomorrow we’re both being picked up by Kay to see Michelle’s lymphoma consultant,although he/she will
only see the results of the last CT scan,we never ever take these visits for granted anymore.
There will be bloods first so that’ll be some new info they will have but the CT showed last time that
Michelle’s lymphoma mass had shrunk when DR Symmonds told us,although he deals in cervical he still
knows all about lymphoma.
So the usual restless night for us both,I don’t want to sound like my glass is half empty it’s just that as time
goes on these result appointments don’t get any easier.
I’ll do 5-9am and then be home in time for Kay turning up.
Just done the weekly shop at Morrison’s and also bought a pannini toaster so we’re going to have a go tonight
at bacon,tomatoes & cheese (sorry to all of you resolution dieters!)
I’ve been thinking about our blog today,whilst having loads of time to think whilst driving,and I really do
want to turn it into a book,but wondered when do we finish the blog to produce a book,when is the right
time?
I just wondered if it would be of help to people starting out on their own roller coaster ride and maybe it
would guide them into seeing what to expect instead of heading into it blind like Michelle & I did.

Lymphoma Results with A Wobble (2011-01-22 08:54)

On Wednesday 19Th January Kay picked us both up at 10.15am for an appointment with Michelle’s lym-
phoma consultant,we were all in high spirits laughing and joking all the way there until we hit the massive
car park queue and as usual the in-joke is that it always happens when I’m in the car.
I’d taken some calendars to give to the oncology department because I’d rather let people have them than
throw them away,so as soon as we got to reception I left some there along with Prof Dyer’s,Dr Sym-
monds,Linda Beck’s.
First call was then bloods for Michelle which is still a hard job but they got blood on a 2ND try,and we then
took our seats in the waiting room.
After about 20 minutes sat there a man and woman came in and sat near us and they turned out to someone
Michelle & Kay recognised straight away as the man had chemo every Wednesday on the same ward as
Michelle.
Michelle asked the man he if found that he was eating loads too and he said he was and had put a lot of
weight on,so it’s not just Michelle it must be to do with the treatment?
After being called to be weighed Michelle sat back down again when quickly afterwards a nurse called he
name out to see a consultant.
In the waiting room all the consultants appear from the left hand side consultation rooms and meet you
themselves with a hand shake and smile........except one!
We knew who it was straight away,it was Dr X (as I’m now referring to) who had told Michelle last year
that she only had months to live,he’d sent a nurse out as they never come out themselves and she appeared
from the one right hand side room.
Michelle was visibly shaken and got up from her seat and went to the nurse and asked if it was DR X and
the nurse confirmed it was,so Michelle told her she didn’t want to see him (which should of been on her
notes)and the nurse questioned why.
Michelle explained what had happened and the nurse said she’d get another consultant to see her,she re-
turned to her seat and her eyes were full of tears and I was fuming that this happened.
After about 5 minutes Dr.Kennendy appeared from the left hand side and met us with a hand shake,smile
and opened the door for us,he is such a nice man and we’ve seen him since day one.
195
We all sat down and he asked how Michelle was and said that her bloods were all OK and that she looked
well and that the scan results showed that she was still in remission,so that’s our 2ND appointment now of
being told Michelle’s in remission (the first being 15Th December 2010).
Dr Kennedy examined Michelle along with a junior doctor who was sitting in to learn,and although he could
still feel the lymphoma mass all was still OK.
Michelle spoke about going back to work and he asked how long for and you could tell he was a little hesitant
about her going back to work and went on to say that it wouldn’t be as easy as Michelle thought and to take
her time and see how it goes.
We all stood up to shake hands and say goodbye and I’d previously prompted Kay that I was going to have
a word with Dr. Kennedy so she took Michelle away.
I shook Dr. Kennedy’s hand and asked if I could have a word in private,the junior doctor asked if I wanted
her to leave but I told her it was fine.
I sat back down and explained what had happened in the waiting room and how Michelle had got upset,and
to my surprise Dr Kennedy said he’d got no knowledge of the mis-diagnosis last year so I had to explain
everything that went on.
He’s got such a calming voice and totally understood our situation and couldn’t apologise enough,but I felt
myself welling up as I told him everything that had happened.
He then assured me that he’d have it put on the notes who Michelle preferred to see in the future and he
thanked me for explaining about everything and I left more content.
When we got back home I wanted to sort out the mess of sorting Michelle’s ESA so phoned the Macmillan
benefits advisor,she was a really nice lady who explained everything to me after I’d explained Michelle’s work
plans.
If Michelle goes back to work for less that 16 hours a week (which she is)and earns less that £93 a week
(which she will) then she can return to work doing what is called ’permitted work’ and keep all of her ESA
money too for 52 weeks.
So I then had to phone the DWP to explain to them that Michelle was going back to work to do ’permitted
work’ and they were fine and said they’d send the forms out in the post.
Michelle had also been sent out a ’capability for work’ questionnaire to fill out from a third party company
who works on behalf of the DWP,we questioned if this needed to be filled out with Macmillan and the lady
was not happy that it had been sent out,because Michelle’s claim was made under ’special rule’ the form
should never of been sent out.
After an email and phone call back at 5.30pm the DWP confirmed it shouldn’t of been sent out and there
was no need for her to fill it out,so that was another weight off Michelle’s mind.
The roller coaster continued on Thursday when King Edward college had a meeting about cut back due to
reduced government funding.
Michelle got phone calls and texts from four or five of her work friends to say that the 1/2 hour meeting
lasted two hours and they were handed a 10 page document outlining their proposed cuts,and a lot of the
staff are worrying now.
Science has to lose 5 jobs,design 2 and the list goes on but as Michelle is only going to be doing 2 1/2 hours
a day we don’t think it will make a difference to her.
Thursday was also the day Michelle made and appointment to see her GP to sign her off ready to go back
to work.
Again he was a little apprehensive to let her go back and told her to take her time and see how it goes and
then wrote the note out to start light duties of 2 1/2 hours a day starting on January 31st!
Michelle asked about HRT as she continues to have hot flushes and was told that radiotherapy would make
her sterile and bring on the change.
He mentioned that HRT had links to cervical cancer and as soon as Michelle heard that she said ”No No No”
so he phoned through to the practise nurse to ask her advise for a herbal choice.
She mentioned black cohosh,which Michelle has taken before,but only recommended this for short term use
and by the time we got to the chemist we’d both forgotten the names of the other two she’d recommended
196
so I’ll have to have a Google.
Today Michelle’s off to the hairdressers then to Simon’s shop to get some track suit bottoms and trainers
ready for work and no other plans up to now,we’ll see how the day goes...............

Roller Coasting To The Top (2011-01-29 08:47)

Our roller coaster ride is staying on a high for now and we’re enjoying every minute of it whilst it lasts.
It’s been a good week since I blogged last,and a week when we’ve done a good job as parents.
Matt had a 2ND interview in Birmingham on Tuesday for a sales job,and phoned Michelle up to say that 5
people had got the job out of 100 applicant’s.
When he came home he told us what the job was and straight away we knew it was a pyramid selling scam
that has been around since the 1970’s.
I won’t say the name of the company or the product because IF we do make our blog into a book eventually
I don’t want to liable myself.
Anyway we knew if we said anything he’d do the opposite so all we could do was offer our support and try
and gently push him in the right direction.
After a couple of knock backs from practise sales he realised it wasn’t for him and told them so,much to the
relief of Michelle who’d been worrying about Matt and the job.
Today he’s landed himself some temporary work on site with his girlfriends brother.
In the week I got all Michelle’s paper work sorted for her return to work on Monday,doctors notes,financial
forms etc so she’s nearly ready to go.
Unfortunately the man who gives her a lift in the morning has car problems and won’t be sorted for Monday,so
I’ll book Michelle a taxi there and back because I know for a fact she can’t walk there and back and do 2.5
hours work,I know it doesn’t sound a lot but Michelle gets tired quickly and the doctors have told her she’ll
find it hard at first.
Also this week our pug Lucy has turned into a young lady now and started her first season!
She follows Michelle absolutely everywhere and will only sit with me if Michelle has gone upstairs,and Michelle
loves her to bits.
So it’s now Saturday morning and up on my own updating this before we set off to Sheffield later to see
Peter Kay!
Earlier in the week I was looking on my mobile whilst on my break for tickets and came across loads on
EBay.
I know people up the prices on there and it’s wrong and I’d usually make an excuse like ’I can’t afford it’ or
’There’s no one to look after the dogs’ but my thinking now it to ’just do it’ and enjoy the life your living.
Everyone will probably get bored of reading how we intend to really enjoy 2011 and fit as much fun into it
as we can,but Michelle has been given a 2ND chance and we’re going to enjoy it.
Can’t wait myself now to see the comic genius that is Pete Kay.
Today is also Leanne’s due date for her baby to arrive.
I phoned her yesterday and told her to hang on because we were going out today!
She said she wanted to get it all over with now because she can’t sleep at night and she told me ’I can’t go
on for another two weeks dad’ and laughed.
Michelle then spoke to her about girly having babies stuff and offered her support.
So as soon as we hear any baby news I’ll be sure to let everyone know :)

197
A Very Funny Night (2011-01-30 11:22)

Last night we went to see Peter Kay at the Hallam arena in Sheffield and it was a fantastic night.
We set off for Sheffield about 4pm as it was our intention to have something to eat in the park opposite the
arena.
I was warned by a friend from Sheffield not to park in the arena car park because it was £5 and a nightmare
to get out of after the show,so we found a side street a short walk between the arena and the eating places.
It was freezing last night and when we got to Frankie & Benny’s where we were going to eat it was packed
out with a 1 hour wait for a table,all the other places were the same so we headed back to the car to find
somewhere else.
Sheffield in the dark is not a great place to find somewhere to eat,and after driving around for what felt like
hours,we ended up at a McDonald’s drive thru!
After Michelle had filled up we headed back to our top secret parking space where everyone now seemed to
of parked,got out into the cold again and headed in the direction of the crowd mass to the arena.
Once we found the ’green entrance’ we were in the warm and Michelle queued up in the usual mile long row
for the women’s toilets.
Then guided by the yellow jumpered security staff we found our seats on the front of block B with no seats
in front so I could stretch my legs out.
Just after 8pm the lights dimmed and the music came on with Peter Kay appearing from under the ground
on a star studded lift.
I won’t spoil any of the show for people that are going to see it but watch out for when he plays his guitar
using a garden spade!
In the interval we went to the bar where Michelle wanted crisps,sweets and a drink,she came away with a
bag of chocolate sweets,a Smirnoff ice and no crisps because all they had were pringles and she hates the
taste now after going off them when she was on chemo.
The show finished with everyone one their feet waving their hands about 10.15pm.
getting out of the venue was mad but glad I took my friends advise because everyone was queueing to get
out of the car park,we got out of our secret side road and got in home at 11.30pm after a fantastic night to
remember.
Today is the ’last day of the summer holiday’ for Michelle,no holiday I know but she won’t sleep tonight
knowing she’ll be getting up at 5am with me in the morning ready for her first day back at work.
She’s been off work for 18 months now so it’s going to be a shock to the system and she’ll just have to take
her time,but I’ll still be worrying about her all day until I know her first day back went OK

1ST Day Back At School (2011-01-31 16:30)

At 5am and in the dark the alarm went off this morning to wake us BOTH up for work.
Today was not only Matt’s 23RD birthday it was also Michelle first day back to work since being diagnosed
in May 2009.
I had a shower and got my uniform on and left Michelle in bed as long as I could but then felt really guilty
as I had to wake her up.
All she wanted to do was turn over and go back to sleep,and she hadn’t had much sleep in the night because
she was so restless,I know because I was the same worrying about her and couldn’t sleep either.
I was just about to go out of the door after putting the kettle on for her when she appeared in the kitchen
with a shocked look like it was the middle of the night!
I gave her a kiss and wished her luck and then Lucy woke up because she’d heard Michelle’s voice (she never
wakes up normally when I get up)
I spent the whole morning as I drove around in my lorry clock watching and worrying how she was getting
198
on.
I phoned the house at 9.15am as I thought she’d be home but there was no answer,but she phoned me back
as bright as a button and said it was like she’d never been away.
She’d had a cuppa with the supervisor,a cuppa with a work friend,a meeting with the site supervisor and
then it was 9am and time for her friend Paul to give her a lift home.
I am so so proud of Michelle today,because I remember when she first started treatment and asked Linda
at the hospital how long it would be before she could go back to work and Linda told her a minimum of 6
months,and now here she is after going through so much over the last 18 months starting back.
She now shattered and in bed having a rest,although she’s doesn’t wan to sleep too long because she’s worried
she won’t sleep tonight then.
So it’s also Matt’s 23RD birthday today,how old does that makes us feel?!?!
He’s been working in Mansfield today doing some carpentry work and not back yet,but he had his card and
presents this morning when he saw Michelle before he went to work.
He’s off for a quiet carvery at The Bull’s Head tonight with 28 of his friends and then off to Barcelona on
Thursday,which is a present from his girlfriend Lucy.
I knew I had to update our blog today because I wouldn’t want to miss such a fantastic and special day as
today is,I am so proud and love Michelle to pieces.

199
 BlogBook v0.4,
LATEX 2ε & GNU/Linux.
http://www.blogbooker.com

Edited: February 1, 2011