Curly Fries

Written by
Austin Witt
Dec 15th, 2021
(in 30 minutes)

Logline: When an optimistic man discovers the truth, he and

his partner set out in the name of Justice.
OVER BLACK
We hear sizzling and labored moaning.

BLACK FRAME
QUOTE APPEARS:

“Never eat more than you can lift”

- Miss Piggy -
QUOTE FADES OUT

WE STAY ON BLACK
…laboured moaning continues…

A MAN’S VOICE talks over the moaning;

MAN’S VOICE (O.S.)

I told you to keep your eyes on
the fries!

CUT TO:

INT. CAR (MOVING) - DAY

Two men dressed in BLUE, sit in a car. They are ADAM and
STEVE. They are having a conversation. Steve, who is upset,
scrolls through his phone while holding a coffee. Adam
finishes his burger and wads up the wrapper.

ADAM
All I’m saying is that it tastes
good even though Acrylamide does
turn your brain into swiss cheese.

STEVE
Yeah, I know. Why do you think I
don’t go there?

ADAM
I guess I just thought you were
being self-righteous or something.
Besides, you don’t go anywhere.
 STEVE
(looking up from his phone)
FUCK-OFF!

ADAM
I was kidding…jeezus. Anyway, did
Julie ever get back to you about
that internship?

STEVE
No, I told you it probably
wouldn’t be for a couple of weeks.
Besides, it's a long-shot.
Apparently they have like
four-hundred applications for jobs
like that or something. So,(makes
a gun gesture towards head)--

ADAM
—-Whoa…whoa…no need to put
yourself down like that.

STEVE
Yeah, well tell that to the
‘system’.

ADAM
Look, I get it and all but for the
sake of Mary. Cheer the fuck up!

STEVE
Okay…okay…I’m just tired and with
all this crap going on I just
(clenches fist while looking out
the window)…

ADAM
(noticing Steve’s frustration)
Hey…Hey…remember that scene in
Avengers?
 STEVE
What?

ADAM
The scene in Avengers where Iron
Man grabs that rocket and carries
it through the portal saving the
day, and…ultimately Earth?

STEVE
Yeah.

ADAM
Well…think about it…okay. Hear me
out. Basically the whole movie
takes place in New York right?

STEVE
Yeah.

ADAM
Well…what else happened in New
York?

STEVE
Lots of things.

ADAM
Come on!

STEVE
I don’t know. That song by Alicia
Keys?

ADAM
No, 9/11. Okay, so I was thinking
about that whole movie the other
day, after watching it, and
basically the whole movie is just
like 9/11 but this time instead of
the U.S. being the victim they
turn the story around. Just as you
think…’this is it’...Iron Man
takes on the responsibility of
carrying that missile through the
worm-hole and he blows up the
alien-army.

STEVE
Okay.

ADAM
Well…I was thinking about it and
how it is both clever and obvious.

STEVE
That its like 9/11

ADAM
No, that Marvel was literally
saying ‘fuck them’ and even went
so far as to have a
rocket…phallus…traveling through a
hole in the sky, in reverse of
what happened, and exploding the
alien army.

STEVE
(sarcastically)
Okay.

ADAM
Well…I don’t know. I thought it
might cheer you up and get your
mind off things.

STEVE
You know what would get my mind
off things?
 CUT TO:

OVER BLACK
CREDIT SEQUENCE:
After credit sequence, we FADE TO BLACK
Over the BLACK we hear the Man’s labored moaning.

CUT TO:
INT. BURGER JOINT - DAY
BLACK AND WHITE CU of Adam
Sprawled across the floor on his stomach. Surrounded by a
pool of blood.

In the background we hear the sound of police sirens

getting closer.

Over the moaning we hear Steve’s voice.

STEVE (OS)
I told you to keep your eyes on
the fries…God dammit!

CUT TO:

Int. Hospital - Day

Adam and Steve stand before a hospital bed with a fragile
looking MARY in it.

Mary is attached to a life-support machine and wrapped in

all kinds of bandages.

ADAM
Well Mary I don’t know if you can
hear us but I know you are going
to be alright. (looking at Steve)
Right?

STEVE
(eyes watering)
Those bastards that did this to
you are going to pay. How in the
 hell can they think they’ll get
away with this? Fuck! Just because
they have all the money in the
world doesn’t mean they aren’t
guilty!

ADAM
We can’t prove anything. We don’t
even know who they are.

STEVE
Yeah, well I’m going to find out.
We can’t just sit around and wait
for her to wake up. We don’t even
know if she’ll wake up.

ADAM
Don’t say that!

STEVE
Look I love you but sometimes you
gotta see it for what it is.

Adam doesn’t respond. Steve

punches the wall in frustration.

STEVE
Well what do we do? Sit here like
we’re in the Union or go out there
and find whoever did this?

ADAM
I don’t know. I guess you're right
but shouldn’t we just go to the
police–

STEVE
–and what? They are already doing
all that they can. She needs
 someone that can actually help.
Us!

ADAM
Okay…okay…let’s see what we can
find.

CUT TO:

INT. BURGER JOINT - DAY

The CAMERA does a 360 around the busy burger joint. The
doors open, in walk Adam and Steve.

We hear them having a conversation over the noise of the

restaurant.

They get in line for the counter.

STEVE
I don’t get it, if you know this,
why do you still like going here?

ADAM
Because…it’s my favorite pastime.

STEVE
Getting a greasy burger is your
pastime?

ADAM
Yeah!

STEVE
So, you are willing to put
something that you know is bad for
you in your mouth because it’s
your hobby?
 ADAM
I mean when you put it like that
it sounds bad but I guess so.

STEVE
Here I thought I was finally
beginning to understand you then,
you pull this on me. Jeezus
Christ!(Smiling)What did I ever
see in you?

ADAM
Honestly, I don’t know(laughs).

STEVE
So, what are you going to get?

ADAM
The usual.

STEVE
(sarcastically)
The triple with frys!

ADAM
You know me too well.

STEVE
Well, while you eat that shit I’m
going to go to the bathroom. Get
me a coffee please.

CUT TO:

INT. Bathroom - DAY

Steve stands at the stall. His phone rings, he answers it.

A WOMEN’S voice speaks.

 STEVE
Yeah, hello.

WOMEN
STEVE!

STEVE
Yeah, who is this?

WOMEN
This is RACHEL. You probably
don’t remember me but it’s about
Mary.

STEVE
Why? Is everything okay?

RACHEL
Well, not exactly.