COOPERATIVE ACTIVITY

As human beings we were made to relate to, work with, and cooperate with each
other.
We function the best and are the healthiest when we get along well with others. The
exercise that follows will help you expand your skills in relating to and cooperating
with
others.
1. From the list select an activity, project, or game to do with your parents or family.
(All projects should involve at least two people and activities or games should be
played as a team.)
Projects Service Project
Home Project
Activities Camping Trip
Tennis (doubles)
Badminton (doubles)
Ping Pong (doubles)
Foosball (doubles)
Pool (teams)
Other
Card or Table Games Set Back/Spades/Euchre
Scategories
Ungame
Uno
Other
Activity/project/Game Chosen:
Date: Time:
Who will be involved?
Things required (if any):
2. Questions to complete and process after the activity/project/game.
A. What did you like about the activity/game/project?
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EXERCISE XIX.B
186
B. Identify the things that went well and those that you felt could have gone better.
C. What could you have done to make things go better?
D. After doing this activity/project/game, I would like to do more.
E. How did you avoid disagreements?
F. Rate yourself by placing an X on the line in the two following areas:

PARENTS UNDERSTAND THE ROOTS OF THEIR

PARENTING METHODS
GOALS OF THE EXERCISE
1. Parents increase their awareness of the connection between how they were parented
and how they parent.
2. Parents identify their areas of overreaction based in how they were parented.
3. Parents develop increased confidence due to being affirmed in their parenting
methods.
ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL
• Blended Family
• Peer/Sibling Conflict
SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT
This exercise is not designed to scapegoat parents. Processing the exercise should be
done in an open, lighthearted manner. Identify what the parents liked about how their
parents treated them so they can continue that pattern. Give them encouragement and
permission to change methods their parents used that they did not like. Even if their
parents
did most things well, it may be important to allow them to feel they do not have to
do everything the same way. The message should be seeded that they need to develop
their own style and skills through experience and education.

HOW PARENTS RESPOND TO SIBLING RIVALRY

GOALS OF THE EXERCISE
1. Parents assess in what ways they may be contributing to sibling conflict.
2. Parents identify specific ways they encourage sibling conflict.
3. Parents develop and implement new approaches for parenting that reduce sibling
rivalry.
4. Parents increase their daily involvement with their children.
ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL
• Parenting
SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT
In the processing of this exercise, it is recommended that the therapist allow the
parents’
anxiety to remain quite high because this will make them open to looking at their
patterns
and to making changes. The parents may need to be encouraged to explore the ways
they
respond to sibling conflict and to examine the family of origin influences they might
be
repeating. Parents may need to be assured that you are not judging what they are
doing
wrong but rather seek to help them find the best or most effective parenting approach.

WHY I FIGHT WITH MY PEERS

GOALS OF THE EXERCISE
1. Increase the level of awareness and ownership for relationship difficulties with
peers.
2. Identify specific behaviors that cause conflict with peers.
3. Eliminate behaviors that create conflict with peers.
4. Implement specific behaviors that will promote positive interactions with peers.
ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL
• Academic Underachievement
• Conduct Disorder/Delinquency
• Oppositional Defiant
• School Violence
SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT
The client will need to be actively engaged to obtain the maximum benefit from this
exercise.
The therapist should seed with the client the importance of relationships and getting
along with others at key points in the treatment process. It would also be helpful to
reflect to the client his/her desire to be liked and to get along with others. The probing
done during the processing needs to be gentle enough to keep defenses down. The
exercise will have additional impact when repeated at