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SENIOR CARE PROFESSIONALS

AGING – WHO ARE FORMER

PEOPLE?
SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | ANN CATLIN | 1 COMMENT

There’s a little quip that I’ve heard in senior

communities that goes something like this;
“I’m looking for Mrs. B., can you tell me
what she looks like? “Yes, she’s the one
with gray hair and glasses!” Not that origi-
nal, really, but you get the picture. I’ve of-
ten been struck with profound awareness
when I enter the dining room of a nursing
home. At first glance it looks like a sea of
gray heads and everyone sort of blends to-
gether. The quip suggests these old folks all
look alike so they are alike and have mor-
phed into some other kind of creature. At
what point do we become one of “them”? I
have a psychologist friend who counsels
young children. She once told me that
she’s effective because she doesn’t talk
down to the kids or treat them as “pre-peo-
ple”. Something about her comment rings
true and, by comparison, I think we live in a
society that views our aging population as
“former people”. When do we lose our indi-
vidual identity and become a former
person?

Since none of us are immune from cultural

influence perhaps it falls to each of us to
question the collective attitude and see be-
yond the stereotypes of old age. Common
language and images are a good place to
start. We can pay attention to the words
we use. Ever call someone a “cute little old
lady”? We may as well pat her on the head!
Media today is laced with messages that
reinforce the idea of a monolithic group of
older persons. I’ve used the phrase “Silver
Tsunami”. This term was coined in 2002 by
Mary Maples to describe the aging baby
boom generation that began turning 65 in
2011. But think about it. A tsunami is a
force of nature that leaves destruction in
its path. I went on-line to see how people
defined the Silver Tsunami and on a blog I
found this (sort-of humorous) explanation.
“It means there are so many old people
they’re going to pile up in huge masses of
wrinkled bodies, and they’ll roll ashore,
crashing into buildings and nuclear power
plants.” Perhaps Silver Tsunami isn’t my
best choice of words! I can think of other
times when my words really underscored
the idea of an elder being a former person.
I remember telling someone about a man
in his nineties who “use to be a doctor!”
Why are we surprised when an older adult
continues pursue activities of younger
years? “Wow, she still rides a bike!”

Self-reflection about our personal views of

aging is important because we tend to in-
ternalize society’s dialogue. Aging has be-
come medicalized. Medicalization is when
a normal human condition becomes seen
as a problem in need of medical treatment.
You don’t have to look far to see evidence
of this. Just turn on the TV or open a maga-
zine. Aging is portrayed as something to fix,
cover up, smooth out, and take (lots) of
pills for. I’ve met many elders whose social
lives revolve around going to the doctor
and visits to the pharmacy. But something
deeper happens in our psyche. As a soci-
ety we fiercely value autonomy, productiv-
ity and independence. But with aging
sometimes comes the need to ask for help
and physical decline which we equate with
a flawed existence. Feelings of failure and
shame arise and we loathe the body that
once served us so well. We begin to see
ourselves as helpless and unworthy. We
become former people even in our own
minds.

There’s a song written by John Prine called

Hello in There. I’ll close with his lyrics. You
can see a poignant video set to Prine’s song
on YouTube at http://www.youtube.-
com/watch?v=RfwGkplB_sY.

Ya’ know that old trees just grow stronger,

And old rivers grow wilder ev’ry day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, “Hello in
there, hello.”

So if you’re walking down the street some-

time
And spot some hollow ancient eyes,
Please don’t just pass ’em by and stare
As if you didn’t care, say, “Hello in there,
hello.”

AGING SENIOR CARE

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ONE THOUGHT ON “AGING – WHO ARE

FORMER PEOPLE?”

Marvin
AUGUST 31, 2020 AT 10:27 PM

I’d incessantly want to be update on

new blog posts on this web site, saved
to
favorites!

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