Item #: 

SCP-3166

Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment
Procedures: The Garfield media franchise is
to remain active and successful for as long as
feasibly possible. Funding is to be provided to
any Garfield media ventures via Foundation
front companies present in the comic and film
industries. Agents embedded within Paws,
Inc.1 and Andrews McMeel Syndication 2 are to
place targeted memetic agents in outgoing
comic strips, encouraging the retention of a
sizable Garfield fan-base and discouraging
Jim Davis from discontinuing Garfield.
Agents are to monitor individuals at significant
risk of attack from SCP-3166. In the event of
an SCP-3166 manifestation, agents are to use
supplied frozen lasagna to lure SCP-3166
away from its target and dispatch it once out
of public view. Any witnesses are then to be
administered amnestics as appropriate for
their level of exposure.
Description: SCP-3166 is a 2.1-meter-tall
humanoid entity, presumed pataphysical in
nature, known to manifest during periods
when the Garfield media franchise is
performing poorly in terms of public reception.
The exterior layer of SCP-3166's body
resembles a crudely-made costume of the
character Garfield, which field inspection has
shown to be composed of legitimate cat fur.
However, analysis of SCP-3166's composition
in the field has shown that its interior mass is
composed entirely out of pasta: specifically,
lasagna.
Upon the criteria for its manifestation being
met, SCP-3166 will appear in the vicinity of a
suitable individual, hereafter referred to as the
target, and move towards their location.
Known targets of SCP-3166 have included:
▪ Individuals prominently involved in rival
media to the Garfield franchise.
▪ Individuals formerly involved in the
production of the Garfield comic strip.
▪ Individuals involved in parodies of
the Garfield franchise.
▪ Vocal critics of the Garfield franchise.
▪ Garfield creator Jim Davis.3
Upon reaching its target, SCP-3166 will
attempt to inflict bodily harm upon them
through a mixture of blunt force using nearby
objects and force-feeding of lasagna, obtained
through self-disembowelment. During this
process, SCP-3166 will vocalize by meowing,
purring and screeching in the manner of an
extremely agitated cat. Lasagna outside
SCP-3166's mass has proven to be an
effective form of bait for the entity, as upon
seeing it SCP-3166 will abandon its original
goal and instead attempt to incorporate the
pasta into itself.
SCP-3166 first manifested on 10/23/1989
within the Chicago offices of United Media,
who were the publishers of the Garfield comic
strip at the time. Upon manifestation,
SCP-3166 wandered around the offices in a
confused and distressed manner, before
indiscriminately assaulting any individuals
present after security attempted to apprehend
it. It demanifested twenty minutes later.
Foundation agents responding to the situation
distributed amnestics as appropriate.
Over the course of the following week, similar
manifestations took place at a number of
United Media offices around the country,
ending on 10/29/1989. Following that date,
SCP-3166 altered its behaviour to its current
form. See the week of Garfield comic strips
beginning on 10/23/1989 in Supplementary
Document 3166-1 for additional context on
pataphysical awakening. Initially, individuals
involved with production of Garfield comic
strips claimed to have no memory on working
on that week's strips. All researchers working
on SCP-3166 containment are to familiarize
themselves on this material.
Addendum 3166-1: Using tissue samples
taken by Agent Muller during SCP-3166's
most recent manifestation, genetic analysis of
the meat present within the lasagna has
shown it to be genetically identical
to Garfield creator Jim Davis. The implications
of this are currently unclear. However, during
surveillance of Mr. Davis by containment
teams, he has complained of severe mosquito
bites in the night on a number of occasions
immediately preceding SCP-3166
manifestation.
Footnotes
1. Sole owner of the rights to Garfield.
2. Primary distributors of the Garfield comic
strip.
3. This has only occurred on occasions where
the negative reception Garfield was receiving
could be traced back to Mr. Davis'
management of the franchise.