Scaffoldings 1-5

1 Truth and Myth
Situation of Youth Today
Section A – People say youth are…
Objectives: 1A1. Ice Breaker: Mingle, Mingle, Mingle

1. To understand the
situation of  The facilitator leads this exercise after a brief explanation.
participants as youth. When the facilitator says, “Mingle, mingle, mingle …the
2. To have a realistic participants reply..”Ah mingle yeah…”
attitude toward
youth.  When the facilitator stops saying, “Mingle, mingle…” and blows
a whistle the participants form groups of 3 people each. Then
they are given one of the topics listed here below to discuss as
a group of three people. When they have finished discussing
the facilitator continues with “Mingle, mingle…” The
participants are expected to form new groups of 3 people all
the time.
 Some of the topics for discussion can be as follows:
1. The food you like most and how it is prepared…
2. The famous singer/musician that you like…
3. Song that you like…
4. Subject that you liked in school…
5. The biggest problem of young people in your area…
6. What can the church do for these youth?
7. What can you do for your fellow youth?
8. What do you expect this training?
In the last round of “Mingle, mingle…” facilitator asks participants

to form groups of 7 people each. It is in these groups that the next
section will be discussed.
1A2. Work in Groups: Truth or Myth?
We hear many opinions about youth. Which are truths and which
are myths? Express your opinion on the the following statements.
Let the groups discuss these statement one by one, first in their
groups. After finishing all the statements, ask individuals to raise
hands to express their opinion. If they agree their hands are
raised with open fingers, if they don’t agree they raise clenched
fists. Then ask two or three persons with different positions to
express themselves.
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Say if you agree or disagree with the Truth Myth
following statements
1. Most youth appear to be rebellious.
2. Modern youth are not interested in religion.
3. Youth don’t want to understand their parents.
4. Young people like reading only matters of

entertainment.
5. These days young people don’t have a moral
stand.
6. If we praise the young people they become
very proud.
7. Young people like noise, and most of them are
not serious.
8. Most young people don’t have clear goals
today.
9. They don’t like to be challenged.
10. Youth like ministers/ teachers who dress and
behave like them.
1A3. Conclusion Together: Truth or Myth?
After a discussion on the above sentences, the facilitator gives his

own opinion with the following points. It is important to remember
that all the above sentences may not have fixed answers. What is
important is to raise a discussion and challenge the status quo.
Do you think most of these sentences are true? For instance,
we hear people say, “Young people are not interested in religion.”
But at least in East Africa we know that a lot of young people go to
church.
The problem with these senstences is that most of them are
generalized. It is like saying, “Cows eat grass”. But it is not true
that these sentences are applicable to all the youth. The behaviour
of a few youth are thrown on all.
The truth is that every generation of youth have their own
problems. And from time immemorial older generations have
found it difficult to understand the younger generation.
The problems of the present young generation is contributed to
by the adult generation. Young people don’t fall from the skies,
you see! In this session, we will systematically understand the
problems of this generation.
But, even if young people have problems, it is important to note
that they are not a problem. They have problems; they are not
the problem.
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Section B – Let’s Get Serious
Objectives: 1B1. Brain Storming: What is youth?

1. To define youth.
2. To continue  Ask every one to come up with a definition of youth. Who are
understand deeper
the youth? Or what is youth? Individuals may write the
meaning of youth.
3. To build hope of living
definition in the exercise books.
positively as youth.  Ask participants now to express their definitions. As they
speak out their definition, as a facilitator do not evaluate them
at this moment. Just list the elements of the definition.
 Invite definitions in the following areas:
o Descriptive definition – eg. Youth are those with
strength, vision, energy, etc.
o With age criterion – eg. Youth are those between 14
and 24
o Other criteria – puberty and marriage, etc.; Passing
stage between childhood and adulthood.
1B2. Input: What is Youth?
There are many concepts and realities that defy definition. The
defining process becomes more difficult if that reality is in a continuous
flux. Youth surely is one such reality. Let us begin with the criterion of
age. Today applying the age criterion in defining youth is becoming
inadequate. Consider the relativity of the age criterion in the following
table:
Institution / Country Age criterion to define

youth
UN 15 to 24 years
Commonwealth 15 to 29 years
Kenya 15 to 30 years
Tanzania 15 to 24 / 35 years
Uganda 12 to 30 years
Malaysia 15 to 40 years
So, one of the problems of being young today is that the adults do not
know how to define the young. Often these criteria are very relative and
shaded by vested interests. The meaning of being young is also
aggravated by some biological and social factors. Around the world, the
onset of puberty is occurring earlier and the age of marriage is rising.
John Abbott, a contemporary educationalist, explains,
In 1900 the average girl started to menstruate at about the age of
19. Now, with better food and health care, menstruation
frequently starts shortly after a girl's 10th birthday. In 1900, most
boys were sufficiently well established in a job by the age of 20
that they could afford to marry and start a family. The gap
between childhood and becoming a fully responsible adult was
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measured in months rather than years. But not now, not in the
year 20011.
In the year 2001 and beyond, we confront a group of people who are
not children, yet they are not ready to take up responsibility (or at least
the adults do not trust that they can take it up). From speaking about
“adolescence” in a more psychological sense, we spoke of “teenagers”2
in the later section of 20th century, and today we just speak of ‘youth’. In
other words, with industrialization and urbanization adolescence has
been prolonged. While better food and healthcare have contributed to
early physical maturity, institutionalized education has led to delayed
social maturity.
With this new situation of youth come also new problems like:
 The age of taking up full-time jobs in urban set-ups has been
largely delayed. So some young people, especially those in rural
cultures, are married and considered adults, while their
counterparts largely in urban cultures are still in school and
considered dependent children. This leaves the young people
hanging in a balance between childhood and adulthood for over
15 years. This also raises serious questions in time
management; they don’t have a role in society that is in any
sense useful.
 Due to early onset of puberty and delayed marriage, many young
people are becoming sexually active and some have become
parents themselves, without having settled down in terms of a job
and marriage. Consider the predicament of a girl who reaches
puberty at the age of 12 and is married at 26, as compared to a
girl (in 1900’s) who reached puberty at the age of 19 and was
married the next day! According to Tanzania Demographic &
Health Survey of 1996, the median age at first intercourse is 16.9
years. TANESA survey of 1997 on sexual exploitation of school
girls in selected schools in Mwanza region holds that 75.8% of
class 7 students had had sex; and by age 16 years, 80.1% had
had sex. 3 Consequently, besides facing the economic brunt of
the situation, the young people are also exposed to health risks
associated with sexual activity, including exposure to STD’s, and
HIV/AIDS.
The national policy-making and planning process in youth affairs, and
indeed the churches in their ministry to the young, have to take into
consideration these changing trends. However, for the sake of our
discussion about young people in this essay, I would simply satisfy
myself with a descriptive definition of youth. Youth-hood is a window
period between childhood and adulthood, often between the onset of
puberty and marriage (or another permanent form of settling down in
life), that is marked by a restless energy, fast sprout of growth, hence
also by an extreme vulnerability, while being so rich in promise.
1
John Abbott, “Battery Hens or Free range Chickens: What kind of Education for what
kind of World?” European Council of International Schools Annual Conference, The Gray
Mattern Memorial Address, Website: www.21learn.org
2
‘Teenager’ is a term that entered the Oxford English Dictionary only in 1954, and refers
to ages between 13 and 19. See, Abbott as above.
3
See, Kuleana, The State of Education in Tanzania – Crisis and Opportunity, September
1999, p.59.
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Section C – Situation of African Youth
1C1. Activity in Groups: Youth profile

Objectives:
1. To understand the Let the participants be in groups of say seven people each. In the
situation of African groups let them prepare a presentation (narration, poem, rap,
youth. song, etc) on the youth situation in their own locality.
2. To help participants
see the need for life-  Once in groups, first let them do a brainstorming of youth
skills. problems.
 Then let them decide the mode of presentation.
 Thirdly let them prepare the presentation.
20 minutes of
preparation and 4
minutes of 1C2. Input: Three major Problems of Youth in Africa
presentation by
every group. Father Edward J. Flanagan, the founder of Boys Town
(established in 1917) in Nebraska, USA, has a powerful
statement: “There are no bad boys. There is only bad
environment, bad training, bad example, bad thinking.” Young
people do not fall from the skies. They are simply the product of
our society. Without getting into details, let us just look at three
major transitions in the African society of the 20 th century and how
the present young generation is a victim of this. My intention is
not really to paint a negative picture of the contemporary history,
but just to raise a few questions on the situation of youth in Africa.
Our reflections on the theology of youth ministry should be
considered a way forward.
a. Population Boom and Lack of Resources for the Growing-

ups
The majority of the population of Africa is young. Consider
the following facts for the countries of East Africa and compare
that with three other assorted countries4:
Population below the age of 30
Kenya 74.8% In 1999

Tanzania 73.7% In 1999
Uganda 78.2% In 1999
Italy 36.8% In 1996
India 62.4% In 1995
USA 42.4% In 1996
Why do African countries have high population of this age group

and what does that imply? If the two decades following the World
War II could be referred to as the time of population boom in the
US and in Europe, in Africa it was the time following independence
since 1960’s. Better health facilities and nutrients on the positive
4
From Encyclopædia Britannica – CD ROM, 2001.
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side, and effects of wars and unrest on the negative side, are said
to contribute to the “baby boom”. However, while in the West, due
to reproductive knowledge and the pressure of industrial-
capitalistic economy the baby boom was brought under control, in
Africa the situation may not change even in the next decade. The
loss of population due to HIV and AIDS will have to be made up!
Some economists still argue that rise in population may not really
be a liability to most African countries. However, the problem is
the lack of infra-structure to care for 70% of the population, that is
considered young and largely dependant.
b. Transient Society and Rootless Young Generation

Over 30 years ago, futurist Alvin Toffler warned the world of
a “Future Shock”. He spoke of an accelerating level of “turnover”
or transience in people’s relationships – “a condition in which the
duration of relationships is cut short, the through-put of
relationships extremely rapid. In their lives, things, places, people,
ideas, and organizational structures all get “used up” more
quickly.”5 People travel more and get transfers more; switch jobs
oftener; get tired quickly of using the same clothes and shoes, and
bored with old ideas faster. While this makes life more and more
thrilling, it also increases stress. The first to be affected by this
kind of changes are often young people.
African youth, especially in the urban set up, are already
becoming victims of this stress. The rural youth get attracted to it
too without being aware of the hidden trap. In the West these
changes were perhaps more gradual but in Africa development is
often leap-frogging and the young people are caught on the wrong
foot. What is the implication of all this for churches in ministering
to young people? Youth ministers are likely to meet a rootless
generation that is shouting out, “Stop the world, I wanna get out!”
C. The Impact of Westernization, Globalization & Media

Because children have high levels of exposure, media have
greater access and time to shape young people's attitudes and
actions than do parents or teachers, replacing them as educators,
role models, and the primary sources of information about the
world and how one behaves in it. Besides the impact on the value
system, media’s impact on young people is outreaching by far.
For instance, researchers have found that every hour
preschoolers watch television each day boosts their chances -- by
about 10 percent -- of developing attention deficit problems later in
life.6 What will also be the impact of the use of computers and the
internet on the upcoming generation? In a later chapter, we shall
discuss in detail about the impact of media on the youth.
Because of the breakdown of the traditional family, many
children are lacking good parental attention during their formative
period before entering school. In the U.S., for instance, the
number of single-parent families has grown from 10 percent in
1965 to 28 percent in 1996. Overall, parents spend 40 percent
5
Alvin Toffler, Future Shock (New York: Random House, 1970), p.44.
6
http://www.pediatrics.org/ (October 11, 2004)
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Eccelsia in Africa, less time with children than they did say fifty years ago. 7 While
93: similar statistical data is wanting in the African context, it is a
The Church in Africa truism that Africa will soon follow suit. What is the implication of
knows well that youth all this on youth ministry? For sure, more and more teachers and
are not only the pastors are going to take up parenting roles in schools and in
present but above all
churches.
the future of humanity.
It is thus necessary to
Later chapters in this work will examine the cultural impact
help young people to of westernization and globalization on the young people of Africa.
overcome the Here it suffices to point out that the young generation is in the
obstacles thwarting verge of a schizophrenic existence. Most of them live between
their development: two worlds. As one walks to the industrial area they walk into the
illiteracy, idleness, western world, where the physical is not only distinct but often
hunger, drugs. separate from the spiritual. However, when they return home
upcountry (To most people in Nairobi, home is different from
house.) there is no separation between the physical and the
spiritual. Therefore, as long as one lives in a city their existence is
schizophrenic – split between two worldviews.
This is but a brief description of some of the serious
problems that our young people are facing. My contention is that
the society that has invested so much into industrial revolution has
not invested sufficiently into dealing with the negative impact that
the revolution has caused, and continues to cause, especially on
the young generation. Simply put, the industrial society has to
invest more in developing techniques of training young people in
life skills. This is the challenge for youth ministry today.
Section D – Healthy Youth Behaviour
Objectives: D1. Ice Breaker: Body to Body

1. The understand the
importance of life Facilitator gives the following explanation about this exercise:
skills. This game is played using the parts of our body. Let every
2. To build hope that participant stand with a partner. When the facilitator says
to handle situation for example, head to head, the partner should make sure
of youth right that their heads are touching each other. Other examples,
attitude is needed. hand to hand, toe to toe, knee to knee… etc. When the
facilitator says, “Body to body” everyone should change the
partner. The last direction should be “hip to hip”!
Usually people will feel shy to do the “hip to hip” especially in

mixed groups. The facilitator can now stop the game and ask why
do we feel shy? The participants may give various answers. In
general there is something about the “sensitive parts” of the body.
Every society has norms about these things. But today due to
anonymity of urban life young people tend to engage in
irresponsible behaviour.
7
See, Don Tapscott, Growing Up Digital : The Rise of the Net Generation (New York:
McGraw-Hill, 1998), p.132.
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D2. Input:
Seven factors that contribute to dangerous behaviour among
young people:
A research by Tricia M. Davis ((2002) “An Examination of Repeat

Pregnancies Using Problem Behaviour Theory: Is it Really
Problematic?". Journal of Youth Studies Vol. 5:pp. 337-351) lists
following as causes of teenage pregnancies:
1. Absence of clear life goals

Presence of clear understanding of the future helps a girl
avoid pregnancy.
2. Absence of sufficient self-esteem
Lack of self esteem makes her seek it in easier manner,
even by offering her body.
3. External locus of control
CCC 2526 How one explains the events of her life. Internal locus of
So called moral control is the ability to take responsibility.
permissiveness rests
on an erroneous 4. Lack of sufficient religiosity
conception of human Girls who have some religious affiliation have less chances
freedom; the necessary of getting pregnant.
precondition for the 5. Bad parental influence
development of true
A parental history of pregnancy out of wedlock increases
freedom is to let
oneself be educated in chances of pregnancy among daughters.
the moral law. Those 6. Peer pressure
in charge of education Peer pressure may lead to pregnancy. Not high!
can reasonably be
expected to give young
people instruction 7. Adventurous personality
respectful of the truth, If a girl herself is one who seeks new experiences
the qualities of the constantly...
heart, and the moral
and spiritual dignity of
man.
Section E – Scaffoldings
Objectives: 1E1. Solution: Holistic Formation

1. To understand
meaning and We have said a lot about the problems of youth. But what is the
approach of solution? To bring about change in people knowledge alone is not
Scaffoldings enough.
training. Often what surprises me is the amount of information that they
2. To workout the already have, for instance of the basic facts about HIV/AIDS. The
logistics for the government, together with the mushrooming NGO’s, has done its
smooth running of propaganda. Why then is there not sufficient change happening in their
the programme. behaviour? Why hasn’t all the resources spent on seminars paid the
dividend? I believe, to build a character there are three things needed:
Knowledge (what?), Skills (how?) and Motivation (why, for what?)
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For For instance, let us say I want to become a football player. I
need some knowledge about the positions in the field, about the rules,
subsequent
etc. But someone may know all these but has not entered the field. So I
groups this need skills too : how to trap, how to dodge, how to pass, etc. These
has to be skills are learnt by repetitive physical practice that eventually make
done fast. neurological changes in my brain. Now to go through this tedious
process I need motivation: why do I want to be a football player? The
three aspects of, knowledge, skills and motivation contribute to the
effectivity of whatever I am doing.8
KNOWLEDGE
Chracter
…
Theoreti
MOTIVATION
SKILLS
cal
paradig
m
I am convinced that, it is the same with the character formation of
young people. Knowledge alone does not bring about change,
though the depth of knowledge can influence attitudes. A mere wish
that “I-should-not” does not prevent me from doing it. I do need skills
on how to combat the situations, and put into practice what I do
know. I also need to have the right motivation on why I should be
good. It is easy for the government to disseminate information, but
to build skills and motivation the religious organizations and NGO’s
have to come into the picture.
1E2. What is Scaffoldings?
Scaffoldings Training Programme is based on the above theory.

Young people need a support system in which they can learn life
skills. This eight year training programme provides a support
system in which they can build these skills. At some time in the
life of the young person, the young minister may have to fade
away. The training is programmed in such a way that when the
support system is withdrawn the edifice of the young person can
stand “tall and strong”.
Modus Operandi:
 Youth are divided into 4 major groups on the basis of their
age – Sub juniors, Juniors, Inters, Seniors. One group
should not have more than 40 members, although 25 to 30
8
See, Stephen R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons
in Personal Change (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1990), 48.
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is the ideal number. If in the same age group there are
more than 40 it is better to have two or more groups.
 There should be some flexibility about the criteria for
groups – age and classes. But one should belong to a
group in such a way that s/he can follow the 8 year
programme.
 The formation in Christian Life Skills begins at the age
between 10 and 12 and ends at the age of around 20. At
the completion of the formation programme the young adult
is now invited to be in the facilitation team. Formation of
Core groups is necessary for the continuation of the
formation programme.
 There could be another group of Super seniors for those
who have completed the programme, and continue to have
more flexible formation.
 Every group has to meet 48 times within two years. In
schools it could be more or less the number of working
weeks. In Parishes the meeting has to be at least twice a
month, may be every alternative week.
 Each meeting is to last at least 90 minutes. Some topics
may need more than one meeting. It is important to cover
at least 28 topics in one year.
 What do we do with some youth who come in the middle of
the year, especially in the parish context? Make your
judgement and include the person in appropriate group.
 Since the curriculum is laid out in schemes of two years, if
there are some who want to join the programme after the
first year… you will have to start another set of group(s) in
the beginning of the second year.
 Some events can be organized together for the four age
groups – Jesus films, Mass, etc. Certain amount of
flexibility is necessary, without losing the sequence nor the
depth of the matter.
 Every group has the same adult (young adult) facilitator for
at least one year.
 The facilitators should have good understanding of the
whole curriculum; they should know more than what is
actually in the text, in fact the whole programme of 8 years;
should be conversant with the Sectionicipatory method.
They should meet at least once a month for their own
formation. Once a year for an annual retreat lasting at least
3 days.
Convictions behind the Scaffoldings programme

 Growth is a journey. Young persons need to be
accompanied in this journey, by young adults and peer-
group.
 Faith enters into all areas of young person’s growth –
intellectual, physical and social.
 That the young people have a greater power to influence
their peers. Ecclesia in Africa (no.93) puts it succinctly, “In
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order to meet these challenges, young people themselves
should be called upon to become the evangelizers of their
peers. No one can do it better than they.” On the contrary if
the peer influence is rightly channelled it could prove to be
positive.
 That for any change of habit there are three things needed:
Knowledge (what?), Skills (how?) and Motivation (why, for
what?)
 That occasional seminars don’t bring about change. So we
need a series of occasions to meet with a particular group.
 That skills cannot be offered by lecturing. Skills are learnt
by exercises. So our methodology needs to be active and
Sectionicipatory. Skills are learnt through interesting
repetition through a period of time.
 That motivation is a decision of the will to put into practice
what we know as information and skills. This can be
achieved through sharing of convictions.
 Learning of life skills is the lasting solution to many of the
contemporary problems, including HIV AIDS. Christian
Faith also needs to be translated into skills. Hence we talk
about Christian life skills.
 If a solid foundation is laid in faith – Christian life skills –
when the person is younger, even if the person gets lost in
between in the storm of life, he or she will come back to the
fold at one time. The person is better prepared to respond
to the grace of God.
1E3. Contents of Scaffoldings
Scaffoldings empowers young people to celebrate life with a

Christian stand in the contemporary world by helping them acquire
life skills. Like skills are those that are needed to handle situations
in today's world. The themes are meant to present a
comprehensive approach covering the four areas of one's growth:
physical, intellectual, socio-emotional and spritual.
1. Situation of Youth Today

2. Self Awareness & Acceptance
3. Relationship with Others
4. My Moral Stand
5. Preparation towards Marriage
6. My Family
7. Communication with Others
8. Mass Media
9. My Sexuality
10. HIV and AIDS
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11. 7 Attitudes of Effectiveness
12. Study Skills
Life Long Learning
13. Groups & Leadership
14. Addiction Prevention
15. Mental Health
16. Conflict Management
17. Dealing with Finance
18. Creativity Skills
19. Career Skills
20. Youth Spirituality
Section F – What is your Opinion?
1F1. Personal Contract:
One of the participants reads out the set of rules put in a contract
form. The participants listen to what is read. Allow them to make
suggestions to the ground rules. They assent to the contract by
writing their names on the paper.
Some Ground Rules

1. Punctuality : When the group has agreed to meet on a particular
day at a particular time for the formation session I will make effort
to be present in time for the said session.
2. Participation: I will give my best while I am in the session.
3. Preparation: If I am given a task to complete I will do it to the best
of my ability. In this way to contribute to the growth others in my
group.
4. Respect for others: During sessions when one speaks I will listen
with respect and attention.
5. Confidentiality: Whatever intimate things are shared within the
group, I will not discuss with others outside the sessions.
6. Support: I will be humble to receive support from the other
members of the group for my own growth; at the same be
generous to offer my support to others towards their growth,
during the session and outside.
1F2. Pretest:
Let the participants be given the Pretest, which they are expected
to do each one by themselves.
See beginning of the manual for pretest.
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Section G – Soup for the Soul
1G1. Prayer: Psalm 127
Let us pray Psalm 127, asking God to accompany us in the

journey of growth that we have started. For, if the Lord does not
build the house, in vain do its builders labour. This psalm also
asserts that “Children are a gift from the Lord.” And youth are “like
arrows in the hand of the warrior.” Let us also pray that we may
be really gifts to our parents. That we may be like soldiers in the
church and society.
1G2. Bye:
Announcements be made. And agreement be made on the mode

of next meetings.
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2 Me the Mystery
Self Awareness and Acceptance
Section Zero
Energizer:
Introduce Each Other: Ask participants to form pairs. Give them three
minutes to introduce themselves to each other in pairs: What is your
name, what do you do? What are your hobbies? Etc.
Give each one 10 seconds to say something about the other to the
whole group.
Revision of Previous Sessions:

What did we speak about in the previous session:
 Youth is a vulnerable stage in human growth. Youth are energetic at
the same time easily exposed to dangers.
 We need support in terms of life-skills.
 Scaffolding programme could provide such a support.
Link to Skills already Learnt:

This session can be linked to skills that we have already learnt:
 Nothing in particular.
New Skills to be Learnt in this Session:

 Intra-personal skills: self-awareness; self-acceptance.
Section A – Opening Up the Layers
Objectives: 2A1. Ice Breaker: Who are you x 10?

1. To understand that the
self has different The participants stand in pairs facing each other. One asks the
layers other 10 times the question, “Who are you?” And the other person
2. To create a sense of
is expected to give meaningful answers each time. For instance, A
mystery of the self
asks B, Who are you? B answers, I am Wanjiku. Again A asks,
Who are you? B answers, I am a girl. They go on this way 10
times. When this is over B asks A, Who are you? And A gives
meaningful answers. They go on this way 10 times.
2A2. Introduction: Layers of the Self
Ask two or three individuals to share their answers to the question,

Who are you? Invite them to reflect on the fact that the real self is
beyond all these answers. This can be done by posing questions
like, “If you have another name instead of the one you have, would
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Where Am I?
How Am I?
Who Am I?
God Image
you still be yourself?” “Instead of you doing this particular job, if

you were doing another job would you still be you?” These
aspects of the self do influence your definition of the self, yet the
true self is beyond all these. In this session we will discuss about
the layers of the self.
Referring to the diagram9 explain to the participants meaning of

the layers:
Where Am I?
The given-ness of my self. My ethnic, family background.
My physical features, etc. For example, answers that fall
under this category could be, I am a Mchaga, I am the
daughter of N.N.
How Am I?
The choices that I have made, that have become my
attitudes and character. Answers that could be in this
category are, I am a person who gets very angry, I am shy,
etc. This layer also includes one’s skills and talents.
Who Am I?
The aspect of my self that is beyond the given-ness and my
character, where I am truly myself.
2A3. Activity : Story of the Eagle

Once upon a time, while walking through the forest, certain
man found a young eagle. He took it home and put it in his farm
where it soon learned to eat chicken feed and to behave as
chicken do.
9
Adapted from Margaret Silf, Landmarks.
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One day a visitor at the farm inquired of the owner why it
was that the eagle, the king of the birds, should be confined to live
in a poultry farm with chicken.
“Since I have given it chicken feed and trained it to live as
a chicken, it has never learned to fly.” replied the owner. “It
behaves as chickens behave, so it is no longer an eagle”.
“Still”, insisted the visitor, “it has the heart of an eagle and
can surely be taught to fly”.
After talking it over, the two men agreed to find out whether
this was possible. Gently the visitor took the eagle in his hands
and said, “You belong to the sky, not to the earth. Stretch forth
your wings and fly”.The eagle however, was confused, she did not
know who she was, and seeing the chickens eating their food, she
jumped down to be with them again.
Undismayed, the visitor took the eagle on the next day up
on the roof of the house and urged it again saying: ”You are an
eagle, stretch forth your wings and fly!” But the eagle was afraid of
her unknown self and the world, and jumped down once more for
the chicken feed.
On the third day, the visitor rose early and took the eagle
out of the farm up to a high mountain. There he held the king of
the birds high above him and encouraged her again saying: “You
are an eagle. You belong to the sky. Stretch forth your wings now
and fly!!!” The eagle looked around, back towards the farm and up
to the sky. Then the visitor lifted him straight towards the sun, and
it happened that the eagle began to tremble. Slowly he stretched
out his wings. At last, with a triumphant cry, he soared away high
into the heavens.
CCC 2340 It may be that the eagle still remembers the chickens with
Whoever wants to nostalgia; it may even be that she occasionally visits the farm. But
remain faithful to his as far as any one knows, she never returned to lead the life of a
baptismal promises chicken.
and resist temptations
will want to adopt the
means for doing so: 2A4. Group Work: Discuss the Story of the Eagle
self-knowledge,
practice of an ascesis Every individual be given time to think of the the following
adapted to the
questions, and then to share in groups:
situations that confront
him, obedience to 1. What is it that struck you most in the story?
God's commandments, 2. Can you see any likeness to yourself with the eagle? Why?
exercise of the moral 3. In what areas of your life have you experienced freedom to be
virtues, and fidelity to fully yourself? What are the factors - such as persons,
prayer. "Indeed it is circumstances, events, etc., those are responsible for it?
through chastity that
we are gathered
together and led back
2A5. Conclusion:
to the unity from
which we were After listening to the feedback from the group conclude the section
fragmented into with the following comments:
multiplicity."  Just as the eagle found it difficult to discover its true self we
too find it difficult to discover ourselves - that we have great
potential.
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 We may also need the help of someone, a mentor or others
to discover ourselves.
 As we get deeper into the layers of the self we will discover
that we are in the image of God.
Section B – Where Am I?
Objectives: 2B1. Ice Breaker: Stone in the Garden

1. To help understand
the self using
symbolic language.  Invite every individual to spend a few minutes in the garden, to
2. To appreciate the fact walk around alone and in silence.. They observe the stones
that the self being a that lie around. Looking at each stone, they ask the question,
mystery is best how does this stone represent me? Let each one pick a stone
expressed in that seems to say something to them about their self. Let the
symbols. stone be small enough to carry. At the end of 10 minutes let
every one return to the group with the stone that they have
picked.
 When the participants are back in the hall, they are given the
opportunity to share their insights on the stone and self. The
sharing can be done in groups of three.
 How is my self similar to this stone? During the sharing they
listen to each other with a lot of respect as individuals attempt
to disclose themselves.
 After the sharing give some time for the participants to

spontaneously react to the exercise.
 “The longest journey is the journey inward.” The inward journey
of discovering oneself is often very tedious and demanding. It
is a journey of understanding and accepting oneself. It is a
journey that lasts one’s life time. It is important to begin this
journey when we are young. If we have embarked on this
journey then life becomes more and more meaningful day by
day.
2B2. Activity: Traffic Signal
Give the following explanations for the signs and ask every
Participant to choose one that best represents where s/he is at the
present moment in their life journey:
 If your life journey is like a road, what road sign would you
choose to represent the present moment in your life. Find
below some examples of such signs and their explanation.
Feel free to choose any other road sign that may not be here.
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1 2 3 4 5
1. Crossroads: you are at a junction in your life when you have to

make some choices.
2. Stop: You have reached the end of the road in your life, when
you feel you are stuck.
3. Traffic lights: You have stopped to look, to give way; ultimately
you will continue your journey.
4. Slippery Surface: You are treading some difficult stage in your
life.
5. Free: You are enjoying a certain freedom from restrictions. You
feel you are the master of your own destiny.
Once the individuals have done their choice invite them to share
with their neighbours the traffic signal that they have chosen,
giving reason for their choice.
2B3. Input: Johari Window

Evaluate their experience of talking about themselves –
was it easy? Was it enjoyable? How do they view themselves?
In this session we would like to move a step farther in our
journey toward self-discovery and self acceptance.
The way we are:

According to psychologists called Joseph (Joe) Luft and Harry
Ingham, our self is like a window with four sections. Each section
stands for a dimension of ourselves as below:
1 2
Open (Arena) Blind

That which I know That which I don’t know
And others know But others know
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3 4
Hidden (Façade) Dark

That which I know That which I don’t know
But others don’t know And others don’t know
If we want to be happy:
Which section of the window, do you think, has to be broadened if
you want to be happy? It is the Open Arena, of course. Because,
this area makes you free and relaxed in the presence of others,
and even with your own self.
Feedback
Open (Arena)
Exposure
The ‘Open arena’ can be extended in the following ways;
i. By working on the Blind Area through:

a. Skilfully engaging those around me to share their
perceptions of me.
b. Behaving in ways that would prompt feedback from
others.
ii. By reducing the Hidden Area through:
a. Self-disclosure: volunteering information about
myself.
b. Behaving in a manner that encourages others to ask
for information about me.
iii. Monitoring our reactions to new experiences e.g
through journalizing, will enable us reduce the
‘unknown’.
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iv. In fact once the twin processes of feedback and
exposure are set in motion this third process will occur
naturally. Since Feedback and Exposure builds self
acceptance.
v. In this journey, it is important to journey with some
mature person or a mentor. This person can give you
mature feedback.
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Section C – How Am I?
Objectives: 2C1. Ice Breaker: Colour-Flower-Animal

second layer of the Pose these three questions to your participants:
self which includes 1. If you were a colour what colour would you be? Why?
one's attitudes and 2. If you were a flower what flower would you be? Why?
behaviour. 3. If you were an animal what animal would you be? Why?
2. To appreciate the
fact that our After the participants have answered these questions personally,
thoughts and ask them to share with each other in a buzz session. Stop the
feelings affect our exercise after the participants have had sufficient chance to meet
behaviour. as many others as possible.
2C2. Introduction
Introduce the topic for the session as follows:
Each one chose a colour, a flower and an animal for themselves
because these objects appealed to them. These reminded them
of something in themselves.
In the session “Where Am I?” we were dealing with the external

factors of the self. Hence it was also easier to speak about. This
session takes us to a deeper level of “how we are”? We are going
to look at our own attitudes, characteristics, and habits.
2C3. Activity: Faces of My Life
This exercise takes the following steps:
1. Individual work: Let every Participant complete the faces in

silence by oneself.
2. Share using the Knee to Knee method (explained below).
3. General Conclusion – consists of debriefing the group:
o What have you learnt from the exercise?
4. Input (Found below)
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 
I feel Happy!

I am not Pleased!

No Comments!

Complete the faces below similar to those above, to express your feelings
about the following aspects:
1. About my education …
2. About my talents and gifts …
3. About my relationship with others …
4. Regarding my economic situation …
5. Regarding my faith …
6. About my body and shape …
7. Regarding my parents …
8. About my defects …
9. About my future …
10. About my life in general …
Knee to Knee Sharing:

 Participants sit in two rows of chairs or benches facing each
other, in such a way that each one has a partner seated
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opposite. (If the total of participants is an odd number you will
have an extra person who is also seated at the end of the row.
When this exercise is done in the hall the rows could be across
the diagonal of the hall.) When the sign (whistle) is given the
participants start sharing to each other. After a minute when
the sign is given everyone stands up and takes a step to the
left on the same row. Each one would meet a new partner,
both sit down and continue the sharing. Those who are at the
edges of the row will have change over to the other side.
2C4. Input: I am an Iceberg
Behaviour
Feelings
Thoughts
Trigg
Beliefs
er
Worldview/Paradigm
Explanation:
The self is like an iceberg. I am an iceberg. Only one seventh of
an iceberg is actually seen on top of the water. The other six parts
are within the water. Similarly, what we see in a person is
basically their behaviour. But hidden below this visible behaviour
are a whole lot of elements (at least five aspects) that influence
the behaviour. Let us understand these elements in a deeper
level.
Worldview It is made up of a set of beliefs, Eg. “Others

or Paradigm that you have accepted as true have a big say
on the basis of your past in my
experience, reflection and happiness. “
knowledge. It is on the basis of
this worldview or paradigm that
you interpret all that goes on
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around you. It is on this basis
that you fit in every new
experience.
Paradigms can be changed on
the basis of accumulated
anomalies (facts that seem
contrary to your present
paradigm). When there are two
many contradictions in our
present paradigm we make an
attempt to find a new one. This
is called paradigm shift.
Eg. I can be
Beliefs Belief is a unit of paradigm that I happy only
accept without giving reason to it when everyone
every time. I know it is just true. around likes
me.
Trigger When an event occurs, it can act Eg. My

as a trigger to give rise to roommate
thoughts, feelings and behaviour spoke harshly
on the basis of our beliefs and to me.
paradigm.
Thoughts Thoughts are particular stimuli Eg. My

that are happening in our mind, roommate does
as rational realities. We not like me.
basically think in terms of Why does s/he
pictures in the mind or through not like me?
self talk. May be S/he is
Often we are not really aware of judging me
our thoughts. They because of
automatically flow from our what I said
beliefs reacting to a particular yesterday. May
situation. be my enemy
has reported
something…
Feelings Influenced by our thoughts, Eg. I feel angry

feelings denote an emotional towards my
state. roommate.
Behaviour Influenced by our thoughts and Eg. I cannot

feelings, behaviour is the way sleep tonight.
we respond to the external world Next morning, I
– people and things. shout back at
my roommate.
If we understand that our external behaviour is influenced by our

paradigms, beliefs, thoughts and beliefs, then how can I handle
myself?
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1. I need to constantly review my paradigms and beliefs. If I am
constantly being unhappy, if I am not being effective enough in my
daily life in the way I deal with myself, in the way I deal with the
people and the world around me, probably I am living with too
many anomalies (contradicting paradigms) in myself. They are
calling for a review.
2. I need to take control of my thoughts. Not allowing myself to become
a slave of the triggers (events that happen around me.) I need to
constantly monitor the self-talk that I am doing to myself; I need to
monitor the pictures that are running in my head. If I have positive
self-talk my feelings and behaviours can also be positive. May be
I need to start a 24 hour count – in the next 24 hours I will
constantly monitor my thoughts and see if I can encourage positive
self talk.
3. Since the body-mind is a unity, to bring about change in your mind,
and subsequently in your behaviour, sometimes the change can
begin with your body. For example, on a day that you don’t feel
very fresh, you will tend to sit very relaxed and inattentively. This
may cause a feeling of depression. To regulate this, try washing
your face with cold water and then sitting straight. Your mind may
also wake up.
4. Journal writing and sharing with the soul friend the aspects of your
paradigms and beliefs can help a great deal to understand yourself
and move towards growth.
Section D – Who Am I?
Objectives:
2D1. Ice Breaker: Miss/Mr. Universe Interview
1. To get into the third
layer of the self. Participants go into pairs. One pretends to interview the other with
2. To get in touch with the questions given in the box below, and the other answers them
the deepest desire offhand. The answering should be done very fast. Then they
that pushes one ot exchange roles.
invest one's
energies. Imagine that you are among the 10 top contestants for the Miss/Mr
3. To have a vision of Universe contest. As part of your assessment the panel asks you
the self that flows the following questions. How would you answer them?
from understanding
that I am in the 1. What are your childhood memories?
image of God. 2. What do you regret about in your life?
3. What is your repeated dream?
4. What is your greatest defect in your personality?
5. What makes you cry?
6. What hurts you most?
7. How far can you trust your friend?
8. What importance does money have in your life?
9. What is an ideal day for you?
10. Are you afraid to die?
Conclude this exercise by asking the group:

 How did you feel during this exercise?
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 Is there anyone who would like to share their impressions?
We have started our journey of getting in touch with our inner
selves.
2D2. Activity: Desire Exercises
1. LOTTERY
If you won a lottery of USD 1000 (Convert it into your own
currency) what would you do with the money? Write a small
budget.
2. ISLAND OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES

If you had 24 hrs to spend in an island of infinite possibilities
how would you spend your time? In this island you could do
whatever you wanted, meet with whoever you wanted.
3. MAGIC CARPET
If there was an “ungo” (like a magic carpet) that would take
you anywhere in the world, where would you like to go?
4. MAGIC WAND
There is a magic wand that can touch any aspect of your self
and that part can instantly become what you desire it to be.
What part of your body, or self would you like the magic
wand to touch? And what would you want it to become?
5. ERISED MIRROR
Erised10 (Desire spelt in reverse) is a large dressing mirror; if
you stand in front of it, it is capable of showing your inner
most desires. If you stood in front of this mirror what would it
show?
6.House on Fire
Let’s say as you return home, you find your house on fire.
You have just sufficient time to enter your room and pick up
one object. What would that be?
10
Borrowed J.K. Rowlings, Harry Potter, Book 1.
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7.CONCLUSION
After you finish the above six exercises answer the following
questions:
1. Are there any common elements in your answers?
2. What do these common elements say about what you
deeply desire for your self?
2D3. Input: Where are your roots?
Ask the participants: what is your deepest desire? Allow

some participants to spontaneously answer the question in
the light of the exercise.
 After some discussion say, we need to get in touch with
our deepest desires so that we can get in touch with our
own selves. St. Ignatius said, “We are our deepest
desires.” What did he mean by it? The deepest longing
of our hearts affect our daily choices, our choices make up
our habits, and our habits make up our character.
 How can I get in touch with my deepest desires? Often
you need to do a relay of Why questions. For instance,
Why am I doing what I am doing? Because I want to get a
Where Am I?
How Am I?
Who Am I?
Need to draw a
plant with God Image
flowers
good job. Why do I want to get a good job? Because I

want build a house. Why do I want to build a house?
Because I want to have a family. Why do I want to have a
family? Because I want to be belong somewhere. Why
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do I want to belong somewhere? Because I want to be
happy!
Rooted in Layer 1:
For some people the root could be at the level of “Where Am I?”
They may draw their self-identity from their family background or
their ethnicity, etc. In such a situation, when their ethnicity is
threatened they feel that their self is threatened. A plant rooted in
the outer layer dries very fast.
Rooted in Layer 2:
For others, their root may be in their talents and skills, in their
qualities and characters – in the layer of “How Am I?” Though this
layer is deeper than the level of Where Am I, it is not deep
enough. Hence, inability to use their talents or the limitations of
CCC 357
Being in the image of their personalities may sometimes paralyse these individuals.
God the human
individual possesses Rooted in Layer 3:
the dignity of a person, A healthy base for the self is a deep appreciation of the mystery
who is not just and the uniqueness of the self. It is an awareness that, after all, I
something, but am more than all the paraphernalia (decorations) that I put around
someone. He is my self. I am distinct from the roles that play. When the plant of
capable of self- my self-image is rooted in this deeper layer, I am at peace with
knowledge, of self- myself all the time. It not only becomes easy to accept other
possession and of people’s reaction towards me, but I also keep growing towards
freely giving himself
becoming my best self.
and entering into
communion with other The creation story in the book of Genesis tells us that we
persons and he is are all created in the image of God. It is in this third layer that we
called by grace to a are in the image of God (Imago Dei). The implication of this is that
covenant with his when we become more and more aware of this inner self, we
Creator, to offer him a become more and more aware of who God is. Secondly, basing
response of faith and our self-worth at this deeper layer gives us a strong self-esteem
love that no other that flows from the fact that God is unchangeable.
creature can give in his This rootedness leads us to a deeper appreciation of other
stead. people too. We appreciate that they too are created in the image
of God.
Section E – Soup for the Soul
River Me
River Me Video - produced by BEAMS, Nairobi could be used. If not,
explain with the help of the picture.
(Stick picture)
1. The origin
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Every river has its origin. Often the origin of a river may be hidden and
insignificant. Often you go to a swampy area and people say here is
where a big river is born. You see no river but only reeds. Yet the river
is there. The origin of the river of your life was also insignificant and
hidden. It happened in the dark corner of the womb of your mother. Yet
it was the greatest miracle that has ever happened in your life. What do
you know about your own origins? Are you proud of your origin?
2. Tributaries
As the river progresses on its journey there are other rivulets that flow
into it. The tributaries add volume to the main river. As you grew up
there were different tributaries that flowed into your own life. The
people, whose lives crisscrossed your own. Your parents, family,
teachers, elders, friends. And the different events of your life are your
tributaries. Have you acknowledged your tributaries?
3. Peaceful Flow
The course of the river is often marked by peaceful moments. It flows
quietly and effortlessly. It seems to know where it is off to. No
obstacles. No strain. Everything is smooth. What were the moments in
your life when you experienced peaceful flow? Are you grateful to God
for such a moment?
4. Unseen (Hidden Flow)

Sometimes the river may disappear underground. It flows but hidden.
Under rocks, under cracks of mountains. May be there was a time in
your life when you were in the limelight. But suddenly you had to move
to another place and then no body recognized you, your life became
quiet and hidden. Great heroes often have hidden phases in their lives.
Have you recognized the fact that the hidden moments in your own life
are moments of preparation?
5. Detours
Rivers make detours. They go away from their course of flow. Often
caused by the landscape, or by overflow during flooding. When rivers
make detours their journey is prolonged. Their energy wasted. I too
make detours in my life. When I forget my deepest desires. When I go
chasing butterflies on the sidewalks of my life. When I make
unnecessary detours in my life, due to an attachment to a place, an
improper relationship, mistaking pleasure for happiness, my own life
journey is prolonged. And my energy wasted.
6. Diversions
Sometimes the river is diverted for other people’s purposes. The energy
of the river is overly exploited. In our lives, we could say that detours are
straying away because of our choices. But diversions are when we are
victimized by other people’s choices. When did you feel that you were
forced to make a diversion because of the selfishness of another
person? When did you feel exploited in a relationship?
7. Obstacles
In the course of the journey of the river, sometimes it meets with
obstacles, boulders, blocks. And the river often pushes its way through
with tremendous energy. In the flow of our own life there may be
obstacles – sometimes thrown by nature and other times caused by
people around us; handicaps and sicknesses; jealousies and quarrels.
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Do you agree to be defeated by these apparent blocks in your life? Are
you ready to unblock the challenges of your life?
8. Dry Spell
Due to overuse of its resources, running to difficult terrain, and lacking
continuous supply of water from its source, the river may experience a
dry spell. Too many detours and diversions, having succumbed to
obstacles, the river dries up. When was it last that you experienced a
dry spell in your life? Are you experiencing one in your life at this very
moment? How are you handling it? Feeling burnt out? Feeling
exploited? A victim of your own wrong choices? What lessons can you
learn from these moments?
9. Stagnation
Sometimes rivers run into bog land. They become stagnant. There is
no flow. When rivers become stagnant they begin to gather dirt. Their
tremendous energy remains wasted. When I mistake small
achievements with the fulfilment of the deepest desires, I may become
stagnant.
10. Rapids
Rivers fall over cliffs in rapids. There is tremendous energy – often
uncontrollable. You cannot believe it was the same river that was
stagnant a while ago. Where was all this energy? Often if this energy is
not channelled it not only goes to waste, it begins to destroy the
environment around. When did you feel that your life was falling fast in
rapids?
11. Deepening and Widening

As the river matures it deepens and it widens. Deep rivers hardly get
dry. Rivers that are sufficiently wide begin to enhance their
environment. They make lands fertile. They welcome people to enjoy
their resources. A mature person is deep and sufficiently wide. When I
become aware of myself, when I constantly get in touch with my inner
self, I become deep. When I reachout to other people in genuine
relationship I become wide.
12. Destination
Every river – small and big – that’s flowing on the face of the earth has
its destiny. Whether it is aware of it or not, whether it will make it or not,
every river is striving towards its ultimate destiny. Are you aware that the
river of your life is flowing towards a great destiny? You are striving
towards a goal.
13. My Deepest Desire

What are the deepest desires of your heart? Why do you do all that you
do throughout the day? What will make you ultimately fulfilled? St.
Ignatius said, “You are your deepest desires”. You become what you
are striving towards, because consciously or unconsciously every daily
choice of yours is directed towards that which you desire most in your
life. It is in your deepest desire that you invest all your energy.
14. Contributions
A mature river is able to make valuable contribution to enhance its
environment. It does not dry up while sharing its water with others. It
does not feel exploited nor used up, because it has enough for
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everyone. Plant life, animal life and humans enjoy a good river. What
are the contributions that you are making to the people around you?
15. Ocean
Whether it will make it or not, whether it is aware of it or not every river
on the face of the earth is striving towards the great ocean. Its ultimate
destiny. In becoming one with the ocean the river finds its fulfilment.
Whether you are aware of it or not, whether you will make it or not, you
are moving towards the great ocean – God! “Our hearts are made for
you Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you”, St. Augustine put it
so powerfully after learning the lessons from his own life. Are you aware
that you are striving towards God?
Section F - Scaffolding for Life
Three things that I will carry home and work on until the next
session:
1.
2.
3.
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3 You and I
Relationship with Others
Section Zero
Energizer:
Begin with the song : As we walk to the right...

What did we speak about in the previous session:
 Youth is a vulnerable stage in human growth. Youth are energetic at
the same time easily exposed to dangers. Scaffolding programme
provides a support in learning life skills.
 The self can be seen in three layers. Deep down we are all in the
image of God.
Are you scaffolding for life:
 Ask participants to remind themselves of their personal scaffolding
points at the end of the last session and share with their neighbours
if they practised them.

 Self acceptance makes it possible to enter into mature relationships
with others.

 Inter-personal skills: friendship, handling the body in relationship.
Section A – Layers of Relationship
Objectives: 3A1. Ice Breaker: Handshake Welcome

1. To understand that
there are layers of  Invite participants to welcome each other to this session. But
relationship. announce to them that there is one special person in the
2. To develop an group, whoever will be the 20th person (change according the
attitude of number of participants – should be half of the total number of
respecting these participants) who will shake hands with them will be the winner
layers.
of a special prize. (Make sure that you have told one of the
participants to count… and announce the person only when
asked.)
 After the students have mixed up enough to greet each other
as them to get seated. Then ask the “special person” to
mention the one who was the 20th person to greet him/her.
You may give a prize or a clap!
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Evaluate the exercise: were we genuinely greeting each other?
Each one was greeting with their own intention.
The purpose of this session is to become aware that they are

different types of relationships in our social life.
3A2. Activity: Skit
It is necessary to prepare this skit with a few participants earlier.

During the skit the facilitator will ring a bell as the boy and girl
enter into another stage in their relationship.
(The driver is driving a public transport vehicle. There may be

other passangers already seated, but these do not have anything
to say. The girl is seated. There is an empty seat near her. The
boy enters and gets seated near the girl. The bus takes off. After
some time the two look around uncomfortably. One breaks the ice,
and the conversation begins:)
Boy: Hi, how are you?

Girl: Fine.
Boy: Thanks. Yeah... where are you off to?
Girl: I am going to Temeke (change according to situation)
(There is a long silence now. The bell rings. The end of
conversation at the Public Zone. The conversation continues.)
Boy: Travelling by public transport system these days is becoming

a nightmare. Yesterday, people tore my shirt in the rush.
Today at least things are better.
Girl: True... there was a day I lost my books that I was holding in
my hand. I don't know when the government will do
something permenent about this.
Boy: I am John... and you are?
Girl: I am Neema.
Boy: I am going to the hospital to visit my mother who is admitted
there.
Girl: Oh, I am so sorry.
(There is a brief silence here. The bell rings. The end of
conversation at the Social Zone. The girl takes out something
from her bag. Apparently her album and turns pages. The boy
tries to peep into it. There is a drama. The conversation continues
with more energy. Moves a little closer physically...)
Boy: (pointing to a picture in the album) Is this you? You look

smart. Where was this taken?
Girl: Oh... thanks. We were at the beach.
Boy: And this?
Girl: (shyly) Oh... this? This was my friend. Smart boy. But we
don't communicate anymore. He was ok. But... I trusted him.
But... I just have to forget him.
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Boy: Sorry. You may just have to be patient with him. He may
just be busy.
Girl: Ah... no! He is not sincere. I trusted him so much. He had
other friends. Do you also do this to your friends....?
Boy: (looks embarrassed... hides) You know it all depends on how
close one is to the other...
Girl: oh... we were very close friends, you know!
Boy: (moves closer...) Just don't worry. You always get another
friend on the way. And life goes on.
Girl: (smiles naughtily) But you know... we cannot change friends
as we do with clothes.
Driver: Temeke stop. (To the girl) I think this is your stop.
Girl: (in a hurry, rising) Oh, bye. Nice meeting you. Greet your
mum.
Boy: Oh... Neema. (Taking out his phone and writing) Could I have
your phone number?
Girl: Sure... (gives the phone number)
Boy: Thanks. We shall communicate.
Girl: Bye!
(The bell rings. The end of conversation at the Personal Zone.)
3A3. Input: Layers of Relationships
Invite participants to evaluate the skit:

 What was happening?
 Was there a progress in the relationship (though rather quickly,
because it was a skit)?
 What could be the next step?
Intimate
Zone
Marriage
Public Zone
Social Zone
Personal Zone
Intimate
Zone
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After listening to their spontaneous reactions go ahead with your
input. Do not enter into the details of the skit at this point. What is
important is to identify that there were different layers in the
conversations, marked by the ringing of the bell.
Using the above diagram, explain to the participants the meaning

of different layers of relationship as given below:
Public Zone
This is a general relationship, especially when people meet for the
first time. This may just end with a polite greeting. People who
meet in the bus, in the streets, in the same school, in public
meetings may fall under this layer.
Social Zone
This is relationship between people who are some how used to
each other. Like members of the same class who have studied
together. This relationship does not end with just greeting, but the
individuals begin to share some information about each other –
this information may not be too personal, but at least they know
each other’s whereabouts, eg. name, place of origin, etc.
Personal zone
This is the third layer of relationship, whereby the inviduals begin
to disclose personal information about each other. They trust
each other and are free to share each other histories and
emotions. Though they are not yet intimate, people in this zone of
relationship know each other well.
CCC 1829
The fruits of charity Intimate zone
are joy, peace, and This stage goes beyond mere information about each other. They
mercy; charity are emotionally involved. They trust each other to a significant
demands beneficence level, and are affectionate to each other. However, sexual contact
and fraternal is not proper to this stage, as it is only proper in marriage.
correction; it is
benevolence; it fosters Marriage:
reciprocity and Marriage is an exclusive relationship between two people of the
remains disinterested opposite sex.
and generous; it is
friendship and
communion: Love is 3A4. Conclusion: My people
itself the fulfillment of
all our works. There is  After your explanation, invite participants to draw four
the goal; that is why concentric circles in their notebooks and mark the zones of
we run: we run toward relationship.
it, and once we reach
it, in it we shall find
 Then let them fill in names of people that they relate to (friends
rest. and relatives) in the respective zones.
 Note that people who are our family members - near and far -
will lie in the social, personal or intimate zone.
 After personal writing ask them to share with anyone in the
group.
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 Conclude this section by listening to their feelings and thoughts
on this section.
Section B - Friendship
3B1. Ice Breaker: Name Puzzle

Objectives:
friendship is an Write your name first and then using the letters of your name write
open relationship. connecting as many names as possible of people in your group. It
2. To appreciate that it is important that all names are linked to each other. When letters
is different from come together they must make sense. Look at example below:
courtship and
marriage.
A N G E L A
N L
A N
T O N I N
G C E
J A N E E M
O E E
E S O S T H E N E S
3B2. Activity: True Friends
Facilitator may read the following sentences and individuals

answer whether they agree or disagree to the statements. Or
copies of these statements may be given to the groups to discuss
if they agree or disagree.
1. We all need friends to be happy.

2. A true friend cannot hurt me at all.
3. Friendship is possible even among people of different age.
4. Real friendship is particularly known in moments of trouble.
5. My friend should be free of shortcomings.
6. A friend should be ready to do whatever I expect.
7. A friend helps me discover my defects.
8. Friendship is not just momentary.
9. If someone is my friend, how can they have other friends?
10. Friendship can also lead to knowing God.
11. There is a difference between friend and fiance’.
12. I cannot have more than one friend of the opposite sex.
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13. As a friend I must bear up with the mistakes of my friend.
14. To bea friend there should be some common elements
between us.
15. Friends may quarrel sometimes.
3B3. Group Sharing:

CCC 2347
The virtue of chastity Ask participants to form groups of 7 to 10 people and share their
blossoms in friendship. answers to the above statements.
It shows the disciple
how to follow and Discussion is important than right and wrong answers.
imitate him who has
chosen us as his
friends, who has given
himself totally to us 3B4. Conclusion:
and allows us to
participate in his After the group discussions, pass through the statements quickly
divine estate. Chastity to get the consensus of the group.
is a promise of
immortality. Make sure that the following points are driven home:
Chastity is expressed
notably in friendship
 Friendship is a very open relationship. So there should be
with one's neighbor.
Whether it develops
no exclusiveness – that is, insisting on very strict one to
between persons of the one relationship. Friendship should also allow freedom.
same or opposite sex,
friendship represents a  Friendship is possible between people of different age
great good for all. It groups, different sexes, races, nationalities, etc.
leads to spiritual
communion.  Friendship helps those in the relationship to grow, to reach
their life objectives and ultimately to become their best
selves.
Section C – Function of Body in Relationship
3C1. Ice Breaker: Nine Points Game

Objectives:
Ask participants to stand in a semicircle. Explain to them that in
role of the body in the
layers of relationship this game one can touch the floor with nine points/parts of the
2. To be able to body: 2 feet, 2 knees, 2 hands, 2 elbows and forehead.
distinquish bad touch
from good touch. Ask individuals to manage to touch the ground as you call out
numbers from 1 to 9. When you say 3 for instance, they can touch
down with 2 feet and 1 hand.
After a few times, ask them to stand in pairs. Explain to them that
they can now count together the points that touch the floor. Call
out numbers from 2 to 18. (Minimum possible is 2 if both stand on
one foot each.)
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After a few rounds, ask pairs to combine and form groups of four.
Now they count together. Call out numbers from 4 to 36.
Try combining groups of 4 into 8 each, and even later 16 each.
3C2. Activity: Body Zones
Let the facilitator show the participants the picture that is here
below and start a discussion. (If possible, it can be enlarged in
paper of A3 size. The discussion is started by asking the following
questions.
1. What do you see?

(Go on asking until they mention the triangles.)
2. What do these triangles signify?
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(They are marking the sensitive parts.)
3. Now, if these people are in the public zone can they touch each
other with the purpose of getting pleasure? (Is it morally right?)
4. If they are in the Social Zone?
5. If they are in the Personal Zone?
6. If they are in the Intimate Zone?
CCC 364a 7. If they are engaged?
The human body
8. If they are married?
shares in the dignity of
"the image of God": it 9. So, what is a bad touch and good touch?
is a human body
precisely because it is
animated by a spiritual 3C3. Input: Good Touch-Bad Touch
soul, and it is the
whole human person After listening to the opinions of the participants the facilitator
that is intended to
needs to make sure of the following points:
become, in the body of
Christ, a temple of the  Bad touch is someone outside the relationship of marriage
Spirit… touching the other person in the sensitive parts or similar
areas purposely for the sake of exerting pleasure.
 This type of touching is only proper within marriage
because it involves the dignity of the person, and it should
be done in an environment of love and responsibility, which
is ensured within marriage.
 Sometimes, some young people may be victims of such
touch by a senior person, who may even intimidate them
through use of threat, authority and rationalization. Young
people should be able to assert themselves by speaking up
or reporting to someone who can help, or by moving away
from that person or situation. (See section on Assertive
Communication)
Section D – True Love Waits
3D1. Ice Breaker: Smart Answer11

Objectives:
meaning of true
If a boy proposes the following things to girl in such a way as to
love and that true woo her to sex. What could she answer? Let participants
love waits. propose solutions and then let the facilitator give appropriate
2. To be able to answers as found below.
positively say no
and wait. He Says: "Real men are sexually active."
…………………………………………………………………………
If he says, "If you loved me, You'd let me."
…………………………………………………………………………
He says, "But I want to."
…………………………………………………………………………
11
Credit: Crystal Michelle
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If he says, "Everybody's doing it."
…………………………………………………………………………
If he asks her "Have you ever done it?"
…………………………………………………………………………
If he asks, "Don't you love me?"
…………………………………………………………………………
If he says, "I won't get you pregnant."
…………………………………………………………………………
If he says, "If you won't let me, I'll find someone who will."
…………………………………………………………………………
And my personal favorite, if he says, "But you owe me!"
After listening to the views of participants give the answers here

below.
SAY: WAIT - Answers
He Says: "Real men are sexually active."

She will say, "So is my REAL dog."
If he says, "If you loved me, you'd let me."
She'll say, "If you loved me, you wouldn't ask."
He says, "But I want to."
She'll say, "But I don't!"
If he says, "Everybody's doing it."
She'll say, "Not true. I'm somebody, and I'm not doing it!"
If he asks her "Have you ever done it?"
She'll respond with, "Yes, discovering the beauty of chastity.”
If he asks, "Don't you love me?"
She'll say, "Yeah, that’s why it’s better to wait."
If he says, "I won't get you pregnant."
She'll say, "That's right, because you aren't going to touch me."
If he says, "If you won't let me, I'll find someone who will."
She'll say, "It was nice knowing you."
And my personal favorite, if he says, "But you owe me!"
She'll say, "Okay, I'll get you a key chain (gift) or something."
3D2. Activity: My Story
The following story can be just read, or for more effectivity it can
be narrated by a girl. The story is followed by group discussion,
using the questions here below.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
WARNING: This story is purely from imagination. If it has any
resemblance to real life, it is a mere coincidence!
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
This is my story. Just another story. No one takes my story

seriously, because this is nothing unusual. Everyone has heard it
over and over again. But to me, this is the only story. This is indeed
my story.
I am Mary. I am single. But I do have a beautiful daughter,
Nora. She is in Class 7. I am sure, you have already given me
some bad names in your mind. How did I get Nora?
When I was in Form 3, I loved a man. He was tall, robust
and handsome. I was proud that I had such a charming boy friend.
We went on quite steady for a few months. One day he asked me
to prove my love for him. So I did, the way he wanted! Of course,
just once.
After a few months I could hide it no longer. I was visibly
pregnant. My parents began to yell at me, particularly my mum. I
couldn't bear it any longer. I went to Boni, that was the guy's name.
He said that it was my fault. We had always practiced "safe sex".
So he was not responsible, he claimed. And that was the end of my
dreams about marriage.
I finally went to live with my big sis. By then I was in Form IV.
How could I go to school or sit for my exams in that condition? I had
to call it quits with my school. Eventually Nora was born.
The months and years that followed were agonizing:
Financial constraints! I was even tempted to go for cheap
money. But I found a job in a saloon, that's where I work even now.
Social Stigma! Most men think that I can easily be tempted,
most women think I am trying to tempt their lovers or husbands.
Loss of relationships! I had no courage to go back to my
parents. Neither did I dare to enter into a deep relationship with
another man. So many other troubles too... like being disturbed by
my sister's husband. Some women of my type label me as a
coward. But I don't know. I really don't know who I am.
Nora! She is a big mystery to me. I do so much for her. In
fact, she is the reason for my existence. But sometimes she seems
to be ungrateful. I don't know what will become of her.
Let me stop here. I am tired. Oh yes, this is my story!
CCC 1766
"To love is to will the
good of another." All Questions for Discussion in Groups:
other affections have
their source in this first 1. Who is to be blamed for Mary's situation?
movement of the 2. What future do you foresee for Nora?
human heart toward 3. What would have been the influence of this story on Boni?
the good. Only the 4. What was the starting point of Mary's troubles?
good can be loved. 5. If you meet one of your age-mates in Mary's situation, how would
Passions "are evil if
you react?
love is evil and good if
it is good."
After giving enough time for expressing the opinions of groups
now go on to the next activity.
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3D3. Conclusion: True Love Waits
Conclude this section by drawing the attention of the group to the

following points:
True love waits, it does not rush into physical relationship. Since
physical relationship involves emotions of people, in most
societies it is protected within the covenant of marriage.
Human sex is beautiful. However, since it is such a precious

reality, sex has to be dealt with deep respect and sexual act has to
be performed with great responsibility. The covenant of marriage
ensures that individuals involved in the sexual act, which becomes
the ultimate symbol of love, are in a position to fulfil the
responsibilities that go with such an act. These responsibilities
may be emotional, spiritual, social, or simply physical and
economic.
3E. Prayer: Interceding for Others
Sit straight in front of the Eucharist or in a quite place, even in the

class room. Prepare yourself physically and mentally to pray: sit
straight, feet on the ground, close your eyes.
Breathe in and out a few times consciously. Slowly.
When you are quiet enough, imagine that Jesus is in front of you.
Imagine that Jesus is filling you with His grace. See rays of light
coming towards you filling you up. See yourself being illumined by
this light and grace. Become aware of the feeling of tranquility
that you enjoy at this moment.
Now still in your thoughts welcome a person whom you would like
to pray for. See this person kneeling in front of you, or standing.
You put your hand on this person. You see the Grace of Jesus -
the rays - going out to this person. As they get filled, you see
them shining too, and feeling peace in their hearts. When you
have finished with one person, welcome another.
From time to time, you get back to Jesus. See rays of light
coming towards you filling you up. See yourself being illumined by
this light and grace. Become aware of the feeling of tranquility.
Then continue to bless other people with this rays.
Before you conclude don't forget to bless a person or two that you
find difficult to love.
Finally finish by thanking Jesus for this experience.
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session:
1.
2.
3.
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4 Upon the Rock
My Moral Stand
Section Zero
Energizer:
Begin with a song found in the Appendix.

What did we speak about in the previous sessions?
 Youth is a vulnerable stage in human growth. Scaffolding
programme could provide a support in learning life skills.
 We can see ourselves in three layers. Deep down we are all in the
image of God.
 There are also different layers of relationship. We need to respect
these layers and to learn to use the body appropriately.
if they practised them.

 What enhances ourselves and our relationships is a good moral
stand.

 Making moral decisions.
Section A – What is my value system?
4A1. Value Auction

Objectives:
1. To help participants
1. Divide all the participants into four major groups (or more
to clarify their
values.
according to the number of participants)
2. To be able to 2. Each group is given some false money. It could be made up of
priortize their some plastic tokens or even small cards with denominations
values. marked there. (If it is in Kenya you may give Ksh.10,000 to each
group. Make sure to have the following denominations of
Ksh.1000, 500, 100. If it is in Tanzania then you may give Tsh.
100,000 with denominations of Tsh. 10,000, 5000, and 1000.)
3. Explain to the participants that money in this game stands for
time and energy that one has as a person, that one will use to
invest on their priorities.
4. The auction will be conducted as follows:
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 There will be always two things on sale. The name of the
things or persons are actually written on a piece of paper
and shown to the participants. A team may buy one or both
of the objects/values on sale. If more than one team wants
the same thing, then the thing is put to auction and the
highest bidder will get to buy it. The bidding is done in
whole numbers according to the denominations of currency
available. The auctioneer fixes the starting price of objects
according to circumstances. When the sale is done money
is taken from the team by the auctioneer in exchange for
the object.
 Some things that will be on sale in this auction may not be
bought in real life, but in this game everything is only
symbolic. The money itself stands for one’s time and
energy.
 And remember, every choice has its implications.
 At the end of the game having money in hand is waste,
they may also be punished.
STEPS OF THE AUCTION

(The order of things on sale; and the implications of the choices)
1 Car House
Next on sale are two types of friends. “Famous Friend” means

you are friendly with a popular person, who has also a lot of
connections, etc.
2 Famous Friend Faithful Friend
Next on sale are two people you would choose as life Partners for
marriage. (If it is a girls’ group the names have to be changed.)
Caro is from the city, and from a well-to-do family. Amina is from
the village and very simple girl.
3 Caro Amina
At this point stop the auction and do the following:

 Those who bought the car on the first round will have to pay
something (eg. Ksh. 500) for fuel. The money is collected
by the auctioneer.
 Those who bought the “Famous Friend” will have to pay
something (Ksh.500) for entertaining the friend.
Next on sale… “Relax five years” means that you don’t do a
job, you just enjoy life.
4 Love from Family Relax Five years
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At this point stop the auction again and do the following:
 Those who bought the “Caro” discover that she is HIV+. So
they have to pay Ksh. 1000 for treatment.
 Those who bought “Relax Five Years” have to pay Ksh. 500
for entertainment.
5 Economic Success Good Family
At this point stop the auction and do the following:

 Those who bought “Love from the family” in the previous
round are given “Smart Children”.
 Those who bought “Economic Success” are given Ksh.500
plus “Spoilt Children”.
6 Higher Studies Clear Conscience
Continue now with the next sale
7 Death without Pain 5 years of Life
 Those who bought “5 Years of Life” are given a “House”.

Those who bought “Death without Pain” die with a debt of
Ksh. 2000.
CCC 1749 4A2. Discussion in Groups

Freedom makes man a
moral subject. When In the same groups now the participants discuss the following
he acts deliberately, questions:
man is, so to speak, the 1. Among the things that you bought what do you regret most
father of his acts. about?
Human acts, that is, 2. Among the things that you bought what do you feel was the
acts that are freely best buy?
chosen in consequence 3. How does this game resemble the process of prioritising in
of a judgment of
normal life?
conscience, can be
morally evaluated. 4. Do the choices that you made in this game reflect the things
They are either good that you really adore?
or evil.
4A3. General Conclusion
After listening to the groups the facilitator makes sure that the
participants get clearly the following points:
 In life we make choices all the time. Some bring good
results and the others bad.
 In all circumstances we should choose life rather than
death. We should not go by appearances (like Caro) in our
choices.
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 The things that we value most are the things that we spend
most of our time and energy on.
 If you really believe in Jesus and his teaching, does the
way you spend your time and energy reflect that choice of
yours?
Section B – African Value System
Objectives:
4B1. Activity: Cowrie Shells
1. To reflect on
African Value In many traditional African societies, cowrie shells were used as
System. currency, in exchange for goods.
2. To be able to
appreciate the good Allocate Cowrie shells to the following African Traditional values
values of Africa according to its importance in the traditional society. One shell
and to be critical of means ‘least’ important while 5 means ‘most’.
those that may not
be Christian. For example:
Hospitality
Fill in yourself...
1 Tribal identity
2 Increase of progeny
3 Gender equality
4 Sexual Pleasure
5 Virginity before marriage
6 Respect for elders
7 Dignity of human life
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8 Sharing within the Family
9 Relationship between
Agemates
10 Security
4B2. Discussion: African Moral Values
After doing the above activity, participants are divided into groups
of three or five people and ask first to share how they distributed
the cowries and then to discuss together the following questions:
1. Which values have lost meaning in the 21st century, and
are not needed?
2. Which values still have meaning, but are being forgotten by
the younger generation?
4B3. Conclusion:
After the discussion invite some groups to express their opinions.

Then give a conclusion to this section including the following
points:
 In the African moral system there were many aspects that were
very good. We need to value them even today, and if possible
to relate them to the Christian value system
 There are other aspects that need to be purified in the light of
the Christian value system.
Section C – Good and Bad
4C1. Crocodile River

Objectives:
Narrate this story and tell participants that this will be followed by
difference between
morally indifferent group discussion. You can change the names of the characters,
actions and those however, if you change the details of the story make sure that it
that have moral lends itself for appropriate discussion.
weight.
2. To able to take Long time ago in a certain village there lived a girl called
seriously actions Angela. She was in love with a boy called Boniface, who lived on
that enhance and the other side of the river. Due to flooding, the river had of late
threaten life. became very dangerous and infested with crocodiles. Only well
experienced boatmen could ferry people across. Angela and
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Boniface loved each other, and it was long since they had met
each other. Angela was becoming anxious about his silence
especially after he had made a proposal for marriage. Those days
there were no mobile phones!
So after many restless nights one morning Angela decided
to go across. She sought the help of Charles to take her across.
Charles was indeed an experienced boatman. But it was a few
days since he had gone across, because crossing the river was
becoming extremely dangerous. So when Angela went to Charles
to ask for help to take her across, since she has not heard from
her beloved for long, Charles wanted to take advantage of the
situation. He had always admired Angela’s unique beauty,
secretly though! So he made the proposal, “No problem, my dear
Angela, any thing for me, provided you sleep with me tonight.”
Charles was very pragmatic.
Angela was disgusted at this proposal. So she went to
another boatman in the village, and that was David. David just
flatly refused, “No, the river is raging these days. But still I could
have done it. But you remember you refused my love, and fell for
that boy across the river. Now you suffer.”
Angela was really desperate, and having no other way.
She finally came back to Charles and agreed to sleep at his
place that night. Next morning, Charles being a very
conscientious person and all, he took her across the river. He
smiled at her as she disembarked from the boat.
Finally Angela was able to meet Boniface. They talked and
talked about many things. And in the course of their conversation
Angela innocently divulged to Boniface all the adventure that she
had with Charles and David, “And you know, finally I had to sleep
at Charles’ place....and...”
Boniface did not want to hear anything more. He became
wild. He just told her off. He was very annoyed that Angela was
so stupid, and did not want to see her again, and even just pushed
her out of the house.
Angela left not knowing what would be her next move. How
is she even going to cross the river? Oh yes, she remembered
that there was another boy in the same village. His name was
Erasto. Now Erasto was a childhood friend of Angela when the
river was much smaller. So Angela went and told Erasto all that
had happened. And how she was stranded not only on this side of
the river, but also in her own love-life.
Erasto was a strong young man. He was happy to see her
childhood friend Angela, but was very upset to hear her sad story.
A friend in need is a friend in deed. And besides, this is the proper
time to pay back Boniface for their old quarrel, when Boni had led
the cows into the field of Erasto.
So Erasto went to Boniface’s place, and started to teach
him a lesson. Angela was secretly watching the drama. When
Erasto started boxing his old enemy Boniface, by bad luck, Boni
fell to the ground.... and breathed his last! And Angela was
breathless.
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Just One Question for Group Discussion:
1. Among the five characters in the story who is the most guilty of
all? Why? Number them according to the degree of their guilt.
4C2. Input: Three Elements of Moral Act
Give them about 20 minutes for discussion, and then ask them to
present their report. Tabulate all the results on the board.
Challenge them to pay attention to the details of the narration. For

example, we do not know actually what happened when Angela
went to sleep in the home of Charles.
Then give them the following input:
CCC 2258 What is morally a wrong action?

"Human life is sacred
because from its Law, pleasure, outcome of the action, etc may not be good
beginning it involves criteria.
the creative action of
God and it remains for Any action that threatens the dignity and life of the human
ever in a special person is morally bad action.
relationship with the
Creator, who is its sole But in the judgement of the above principle three elements need to
end. God alone is the be borne in mind:
Lord of life from its
beginning until its end:
no one can under any 1. Action itself – there are some actions which are in themselves
circumstance claim for considered bad. For example, hitting someone on the hand
himself the right seems of less gravity than bounding someone on the head with a
directly to destroy an huge stone.
innocent human
being." 2. Intension – even the loss of life of someone that was only an
accident can not be as morally serious as a premeditated murder.
3. Circumstance can also influence the moral quality of the action.

Someone who takes sugar from the kitchen without his mother’s
permission is less guilty that another who has robbed 1 million
from the bank.
Section D – Value of Life
4D1. Activity: Rescue Operation

Objectives:
1. To understand Facilitator begins to narrate the following story:
human life as the
principle on which
morality is built.
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Scaffoldings 2007
“Let us imagine that the tallest building in our city is on fire. It may
collapse at anytime, many are already dead. Others have
escaped. But there are 7 people on the terrace of the building
who want to be rescued. You are piloting alone a helicopter that
unfortunately can take only one person at a time. There is a
computer in your helicopter that has the following information
about the 7 people. After going through the information you decide
who you will rescue?
Stick the letters A to G on the wall. Now read out the
information in Box 1 to the participants. (For the success of the
game don’t even give any clue about Box 2.) Ask individuals to
choose the person and go to stand against the letter on the wall.
Once they are there ask individuals to share their opinions and
come up with their common explanation.
Give opportunity for every group to express themselves.
INFORMATION ABOUT PEOPLE TO BE RESCUED - Box 1

(This information can be adjusted according to participants)
A. A Forty-five year old man. Father of three Children.

Doesn't have a job.
B. Grandma, sixty years old... Failing eye-sight. Very

generous to poor.
C. Young man of twenty-five... Medical Student... middle

class family... Bright Student
D. Pretty girl-child, three years old... only child of the family.

Beautiful.
E. Air-hostess - Kenyan Airways. Twenty-four years old.

Very pretty looking.
F. Professor, 35 years old. Ph.D in Sociology. Recently

married.
G. Priest, 60 years old, served as priest in Marsabit (a

remote region in Kenya) for 25 years.
Now tell them...

“You see, the story has not ended. As you were on the way, they
are relaying to you in your computer additional information about
those individuals. After hearing the information you can either
change your first choice or you can save the same person. But
have a reason for your decision; and don’t be forced by the group’
make decision as individuals now. Here is the information: ...
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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT PEOPLE TO BE
RESCUED (The same people A to G). – Box 2
(This information should be kept as a secret until the first section
above is completed)
A. Husband of two wives. Drunkard and gambler. Does not

care about his wives and children.
B. She had spent 20 years in voluntary service to the Refugees

from Somalia and Sudan. Donated all her inherited wealth to
a CARE (An International Organization working for
Refugees)
C. He is of Asian origin. Plans to work abroad.
D. Suffers from severe brain damage. Has very little chance of

realizing her intellectual capacity fully.
E. Works part-time in a home for the HIV infected children .
F. He is organising a terrorist (militant) group. Involved in drug-

trafficking.
G. He is an alcoholic. Had acquired the habit due to loneliness

in the mission station.
After giving the information ask them to move as they want. Then
let them discuss briefly in the groups about their second choice
and bring reasons to the floor.
CCC 1750
4D2. Group Discussion: The Rescue Operation
The morality of human
acts depends on: Make them sit down in the same groups of their choice during the
- the object chosen; Rescue Operation, but now invite them to go beyond the game
- the end in view or the and ask more pertinent questions as follows:
intention;
- the circumstances of
1. What is that gives worth to the individual? Is it age, usefulness
the action.
The object, the to society, pity, money, character, etc?
intention, and the 2. On what basis did you make your choice? And was your
circumstances make criterion right?
up the "sources," or
constitutive elements,
of the morality of 4D3. Input: Value of Human Life
human acts.
The best conclusion to this exercise can be when the participants
say, we should have saved everyone. Human life itself is the
great value.
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Scaffoldings 2007
Often we find judge ourselves moral just because we are obeying
certain laws and customs established in our society, in the country
or in our religion. But more basic question to ask is, what is the
basis of this laws? What is the principle that would distinquish
morally good action from bad one?
As we saw in the previous section, that fundamental criterion is

human life itself:
Any action that enhances the dignity and life of the human
person is morally good action.
4E1. Read: David and Goliath
1 Sam 17:40-51
4E2. Activity: Stones of David

 Goliath is a symbol of evil in our society. Goliath looks
attractive, powerful and well armed. But David was armed only
with five stones, and one was just enough to kill Goliath. The
five stones stand for the values enshrined in the Torah –
Pentateuch.
 Assume you are David and Goliath is the symbol of evil in
society. You pass through a river bed to choose stones of
different values to fight Goliath. Choose any five values from
those given below and write them on the stone.
Values to choose from:
Health Education Wealth

Integrity Fear of God Physical strength
Moral courage Popularity Respect of life
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Scaffoldings 2007
session:
1.
2.
3.
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Scaffoldings 2007
5 Malaika I Love You Malaika
Preparation towards Marriage
Section Zero
Energizer: Fist or Palm

Ask participants to get into pairs. They both put their hands behind their
backs and together count 1,2,3. On the count 3, they bring their right
hand in front and show either a fist or a palm. The winner is decided on
the basis of following formula:
If Fist and Palm then Fist gets +2 points & Palm gets -2
If Palm and Palm then both get +1 points.
If Fist and Fist then both get -1 points.
Tell pairs to play only 10 rounds and to keep their scores.

Tell them also that the winner will be the individual with the highest score
and the pair with highest score.
(Secret: if individuals want to win they will end up getting minus scores, if
they decide to win as pair then it is easy.)

What did we speak about in the previous sessions?
 Youth is a vulnerable stage in human growth. Scaffolding
programme could provide a support in learning life skills.
 The self can be seen in three layers. Deep down we are all in the
image of God.
 There are different layers of relationship. We need to respect these
layers and to learn to use the body appropriately.
 What enhances our selves and our relationships is a good moral
stand.
how they practised them.

 Interpersonal Skills
 Moral decision making skills
New Skill to be Learnt in this Session:

 Preparing for marriage.
Section A – Love or Attraction
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Scaffoldings 2007
5A1. Activity: Before Marriage, After Marriage
Objectives:  Stick letter A to G on the wall. Explain to the participants that

1. To understand that they are the following people to be chosen to be your life
relationships often partner. After hearing the information about the individuals
begin with whom do you feel attracted to and would you choose to marry
attraction, which is him or her. This is only a game. So even those who don’t
not yet love. intend to be married can play this game. After hearing the
2. To be able to information you would go and stand near the letter on the wall.
differentiate
between true love  Now give the Information Before Marriage. Adapt according to
and attraction. circumstance. But do not divulge anything contained in the
Information After Marriage.
 When they have chosen their letter ask them to share with the
other members of the group (in the same letter) why they
chose that person. Invite a few to share openly before the
whole group.
 After the first part continue with the following explanation: “Now
this is what you knew about the person before marriage; but
after marriage you begin to discover some new information
about your partner.”
 Now give the second set of information. Tell participants that
they have four options:
o To abandon the person and be single
o To change your partner
o To live with the person and seek help
o To try to change the behaviour of the other person.
 When they have chosen their second letter ask them to share
with the other members of the group (in the same letter) why
they made such decision. Invite a few to share openly before
the whole group.
INFORMATION BEFORE MARRIAGE
A. European, Banker looking for a simple African; will take you

to Europe and even educate you after officially getting
married.
B. Mhaya university graduate. Works with NGO.Decent
person.
C. Farmer, hardworking, finished form IV.
D. 40 year old business person. Big looking, drives a nice car,
has a big house.
E. Thin looking, handsome/pretty. Final year of school, leader
of YCS
F. Small stature, cleared primary school, has a simple job,
friendly.
G. Talks very funny, social, entertainer, popular among
friends.
INFORMATION AFTER MARRIAGE
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Scaffoldings 2007
(This is to be given as a surprise in the second part)
A. He treats you as a house-help, to do all the work, to sleep

together when s/he wants, has other friends!
B. Very decent when not drunk. When drunk, very cruel.
Destructive.
C. Not sufficient money for you to buy new clothes, other
essentials, etc. otherwise good company.
D. Has two children from two other people, who are not known
E. Has HIV.
F. Has to look after the mother. Mother gets easily irritated.
G. Mentally not sound. Some nights goes mad.
5A2. Conclusion to the Activity: Before and After
After the game evaluate the game:

How was the game?
What have we learnt?
Is it possible to change the other person?
What is the meaning of true love? Is it acceptance of the
other as one is? Is it helping the other to become one’s
best self?
5A3. Input: Difference between Girl and Boy
Ask, what do we learn from the above exercise?

Did you find easy to do it?
Draw their attention to the following points:
We need to learn to make a distinction between love and

attraction, the latter can be starting point of a relationship
eventually leading to love.
Difference between Attraction and True Love
Attraction Love
1. Attraction starts suddenly and Love grows gradually and lasts
disappears suddenly. long.
2. Attraction based on external Love is something very internal
factors of appearance of a based on the heart and mind.
person.
3. Attraction sometimes disturbs True love brings a calmness,
a person, and distracts one and builds self confidence, in
from their duties. such a way as to succeed in
one’s endevour.
4. Attraction can lead one to True love waits; it cares for the
rush into a physical relationship. wellbeing of both people in love.
5. In time of trial attraction Love becomes stronger in
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Scaffoldings 2007
disappears into thin air. difficulties.
Continue to explain the difference between a Boy and a Girl in a

relationship that is very intimate. You may call two people in front
and make them move in three steps as you explain. Don’t
embarrass them with too much demontration.
Boy Girl
Step 1 Attraction Attraction
Setp 2 Sex Love
CCC 1604 Step 3 Love Sex
God who created man
out of love also calls
him to love the
Explanation of Every Step:
fundamental and
innate vocation of Step 1 Every relationship begins with a certain
every human being. degree of attraction. Attraction could be very
For man is created in external – how one appears, how one talks,
the image and likeness smiles, and talents, etc. But it also includes
of God who is himself something deeper – an aspect of personality,
love. Since God
character, etc.
created him man and
woman, their mutual In this stage the boy may easily say, I love
love becomes an you. But what he means is, I like you. The
image of the absolute girl may not easily say, I love you.
and unfailing love with Step 2 In a boy-girl relationship, what follows
which God loves man. attraction is quite different in both. The girl is
It is good, very good, capable of passing on from attraction to love,
in the Creator's eyes. but the boy often goes into thoughts of
and this love which sexual desire.
God blesses is In this stage also the boy may easily say, I
intended to be fruitful
love you. But what he means is, I want you.
and to be realized in
the common work of
The girl may say, I love you and just mean it.
watching over But surely this takes a lot of courage and
creation: "and God sincerity on the part of the girl.
blessed them, and God This is a dangerous stage because the girl
said to them: 'Be may give into the wishes of the boy
fruitful and multiply, misunderstanding the stage.
and fill the earth and Step 3 The third stage is somehow the opposite of
subdue it.'" the second stage. The boy moves towards
love while the girl towards sexual desire.
The time from step 2 to 3 may take months
or years, especially for the boy.
Only in this stage does the boy really mean
what he says. Besides he would start talking
about life and marriage rather than sexuality.
The three stages would be followed by the fourth stage of
seriousness about building a family.
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Scaffoldings 2007
Section B – Faithfulness in Marriage
5B1. Ice Breaker: Matrimonial

Objectives:
Ask every participant to come up with a matrimonial for oneself.
marrriage is a
serious decision.
Matrimonial is an announcement about oneself and what type of
2. To appreciate the life partner one expects. The matrimonial that the participants
importance of write should to realistic and meaningful. Read the following as
faithfulness in examples:
marriage.
 I am a young man, 24 years old, God-fearing, now in
University. I am healthy, intelligent, faithful and admire natural
beauty. I am looking for relationship with a girl, unmarried and
without children, loving, responsible, rich, and aged between
20 and 30. Deo Mosha, Box 1526, Arusha.
 I am a businessman, aged 39, a widower. My deceased wife

was humble, beautiful and cheerful. I am looking for a woman
with similar qualities. Whoever is willing to look after my son
and build a faithful future with us welcome. Mwangi, Box
4646, Nairobi.
 European artist looking for a serious and romantic relationship

with a masai man from Kenya. He should be at least a Form
IV leaver, able to travel with me to Europe. Write within three
months with picture. Carla. Box 10203, Mombasa.
5B2. Introduction:
Ask, what we learn from the above exercise?

Did you find it easy to do?
Draw their attention to the following points and introduce the topic
of faithfulness.
If you feel loved by someone in your life, then you are also
capable of loving. To enter into a relationship one also needs to
appreciate oneself.
The fact is that all of us are capable of loving and being loved.
That is, all of us fit!
However, marriage is not as easy not glossy as matrimonials look!

Invite them to do the next activity.
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Scaffoldings 2007
5B3. Activity: Trust Walk
 Let all participants stand in pairs. If the group is mixed with

boys and girls, it is better that pairs are mixed as well. In each
pair, one will be blindfolded, and the other to be with open
eyes. The blindfolded person is now taken around for a walk
by the other person.
 After about five minutes the blind people are brought back to
CCC 1646 the hall. Once they are in the hall together, the blindfolds are
By its very nature removed.
conjugal love requires
the inviolable fidelity Facilitator can begin a discussion on the exercise with the
of the spouses. This is
following questions:
the consequence of the
gift of themselves
which they make to 1. Those of you who were blindfolded how did you feel? Did
each other. Love seeks you feel secure in the company of your partner?
to be definitive; it 2. Those of you who had the eyes open how did you feel? Did
cannot be an
you make yourself truthworthy?
arrangement "until
further notice." the
"intimate union of 5B4. Input: Faithfulness in Marriage
marriage, as a mutual
giving of two persons,
and the good of the  Marriage is like the exercise that we have just done. People in
children, demand total marriage need to trust each other. They need to make
fidelity from the themselves truthworthy to each other.
spouses and require an  Before marriage the signs of trust are seen in their ability of the
unbreakable union partners to respect each other, and not force the other into
between them." situations that threaten trust.
 Trust is mutual. When one complains that the other does not
trust me, the question to ask is, “Have I made myself
trustworthy?”
Section C – Preparing for Marriage
Objectives: 5C1. Ice Breaker: Balloon Race

important Have three or four balloons blown and ready. Ask the participants
ends/goals of to form three or four teams. Each team arranges itself in files
marriage. standing in pairs. Give a balloon for the first pair in each group.
2. That marriage is the Make sure that each team has equal number of pairs of people.
foundation of
family.
The competition is that they must run holding the balloon between
their foreheads and reach a particular point and come back and
pass on the balloon to the next pair. They are not allowed to hold
the balloon with their hands, except while handing over the
balloon. The relay continues until all the pairs have completed.
The team to finish the race first is the winner.
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Scaffoldings 2007
5C2. Activity: Do you agree?
There are fifteen sentences below do you agree to these

sentences. Let individuals personally mark their opinion first.
Then ask participants to go into groups and share their answers.
True False
1. The primary aim of marriage is to bear
children.
2. The dowry/bride price system is good.
3. Faithfulness is the pillar of marriage.
4. Having more than one wife is an outdated

custom.
5. One who is not able to be faithful in
relationships as a priest or religious may not
be faithful in marriage.
6. Family planning is the responsibility of
Christian parents.
7. It is not easy to reach holiness through
married life.
8. Equality between man and woman in
marriage means they both have to do the
same things.
9. Marriage without children is not a marriage.
10. My marriage partner should not hurt me.
11. My marriage partner should be ready to do

whatever I say.
12. My marriage partner can have other friends
of opposite sex.
13. A woman is a flower, her man is the fence.
(African proverb)
14. As a married person I must bear up with the
faults of my partner all the time.
15. Marriage is a vocation.
5C3. Input: Meaning of Christian Marriage
Ask groups to present a summary of their discussion. Note the

controversial views without getting into debate during the group
reports. Then you may give your opinion, linking the answers of
the groups and those below.
1. Christian marriage has three ends: Companionship

(Conjugal love between the married), possibility of
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Scaffoldings 2007
enjoying pleasure in the sexual act, and being open to
progeny, taking care of them responsibly.
2. As a tradition, dowry/bride price system had its social

function. The abuse of this tradition is not good.
3. Faithfulness is the pillar of marriage. True.
4. In the capitalistic society polygamy is not easy. Traditional

polygamy had its own moral order but in the urban culture
this has taken different forms that threaten Christian
marriage. But Christian marriage has two important
characteristics: unity and dissolubility.
5. We are here talking about faithfulness or lack of it in

relationships. We are not talking of one who in conscience
decides to leave and gets married. A person who has been
playing around as a religious/priest needs a serious
conversion of heart to be faithful in marriage.
6. The Church documents speak of responsible parenthood.

That is deciding on how many children that the couple can
have and look after them well. But couple who have many
children are not less responsible. Methods of family
planning need to respect human dignity and life.
7. It is possible to reach holiness as married people.

Holiness is expected of every one according to their
vocation. Among those declared saint by the church they
are many married couples. But there are others who are
not declared saints, but have lived or live holy lives in line
with their status of life.
8. There can be equality in difference. Equality is expressed

by common decision making and sharing of
responsibilities.
9. Without children it still remains marriage. However, couple

should not be selfish and decide not to have children. But
if they are not able to have children for biological reasons
this marriage is still meaningful.
10. There can be occasions for some spontaneous

misunderstandings. Where there is true love there is no
hurt.
11. The individuals still have their rights in marriage. Great

dialogue is needed in marriage.
12. Yes, provided it is only friendship. One should be open

about this type of relationship to one's partner. In any
case, no one else could threaten the place of the marriage
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Scaffoldings 2007
CCC 1654 partner. When marriage is at stake it is better to sacrifice
Spouses to whom God friendship outside marriage.
has not granted
children can 13. This saying threatens the dignity of woman as an
nevertheless have a individual. Man and woman are equal.
conjugal life full of
meaning, in both 14. Bearing faults and forgiveness may be necessary in
human and Christian marriage. But one does not have to make oneself a
terms. Their marriage doormat. One may have to give an assertive feedback
can radiate a
and suggest change.
fruitfulness of charity,
of hospitality, and of
sacrifice. 15. Marriage is a vocation. True.
Section D – My Wedding
Objectives: 5D1. Ice Breaker: Fishers of Men...

meaning of Everyone sings the song:
sacrament of I will make you fishers of men x 3
marriage. If you follow me x 3
2. To be able to make I will make you fishers of men
out the important
elements in
Christian marriage.
When 'f' is mentioned all ladies (female) rise and sit immediately.
When 'm' is mentioned all men (male) rise and sit.
5D2. Activity: Priorities for Wedding
If you are preparing for your wedding what are the important
elements in the preparation. Show priority of the following
elements by numbering them in the order of priority. Number 1
will indicate the most important and no. 7 the least.
No Elements Priority
1. White gown for the bride
2. Wedding Ring
3. Clearing of dowry
4. Wedding Cake
5. Wedding reception
6. New clothes for relatives
7. Best man
8. Best lady
9. Page boys and flower girls
10. Eucharistic Celebration
11. Send off party
12. Honeymoon
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13. Many guests
14. Band
15. The Priest or Deacon
5D2. Conclusion: Sacrament of Marriage
After the participants have filled in the worksheet let them go into
groups share together their positions. Then the facilitator can
listen to their opinions.
After listening to the participants the facilitator may give the

following input:
Christian marriage, is built on the triad of intimacy (or

simply love), pleasure and procreation. Intimacy here is the
conjugal love that exists between the couple. It is a love of agape
(sacrificing love) that makes eros (sensual love) meaningful.
Within this context pleasure is not only legitimate but also
CCC 1626 beautiful. Finally, the married love is open to procreation and
The Church holds the education of the offspring.
exchange of consent In addition to a clarity on the above three elements, young
between the spouses to people need to understand that to preserve these good of
be the indispensable marriage, unity (between one male and one female) and
element that "makes indissolubility (not to be broken) become necessary and
the marriage." If indispensable.
consent is lacking To validate a Christian marriages the following aspects are
there is no marriage. essential:
1. Legal status of the couple: The couple should have
reached the legal age for marriage, and they are not bound by a
previous marriage. The bans make sure of this.
2. To receive the sacrament of marriage the couple should
be baptised and properly disposed - having made confession.
3. Consent between the couple is the most important
element of Christian wedding. The consent is expressed by the
words, "I Do!" The ring could be a sign - but it is only cultural.
4. Three witnesses including the priest. Let it be clear that
the bride and the groom are the ministers of the sacrament of
marriage. Though it is recommended that marriage be a public
function during the Eucharistic celebration these only bring out the
social element of the sacrament.
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Scaffoldings 2007
Read the following note from a medical student:
“To enter the medical college is a big competition. The courses

are tough; and to live safe in these environments is even more
difficult. But we are proud to be medical students.
“What I am happy about and really proud is that God is there on

my side, otherwise even I could be a drug addict or an alcoholic as
many of my companions are. I myself wonder what has made me
stand up strong against all these temptations, including very
improper relationships. I think, it is due to the prayers of my future
life partner, whom I have not met yet. But I do believe God is
preparing her for me. So I too must prepare myself for her.
“I think, being a Christian is a great help in this. I feel God has

really blessed me, the stand that I built as a boy helps me even
now in my youth.”
Gerald , Student of Medicine, 1999
session:
1.
2.
3.
65
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1 Truth and Myth

Situation of Youth Today

Section A – People say youth are…

Objectives: 1A1. Ice Breaker: Mingle, Mingle, Mingle

In the last round of “Mingle, mingle…” facilitator asks participants

1A2. Work in Groups: Truth or Myth?

4. Young people like reading only matters of

1A3. Conclusion Together: Truth or Myth?

After a discussion on the above sentences, the facilitator gives his

Objectives: 1B1. Brain Storming: What is youth?

1B2. Input: What is Youth?

Institution / Country Age criterion to define

1C1. Activity in Groups: Youth profile

a. Population Boom and Lack of Resources for the Growing-

Population below the age of 30

Kenya 74.8% In 1999

Why do African countries have high population of this age group

b. Transient Society and Rootless Young Generation

C. The Impact of Westernization, Globalization & Media

Section D – Healthy Youth Behaviour

Objectives: D1. Ice Breaker: Body to Body

Usually people will feel shy to do the “hip to hip” especially in

A research by Tricia M. Davis ((2002) “An Examination of Repeat

1. Absence of clear life goals

Objectives: 1E1. Solution: Holistic Formation

1E2. What is Scaffoldings?

Scaffoldings Training Programme is based on the above theory.

Convictions behind the Scaffoldings programme

1E3. Contents of Scaffoldings

Scaffoldings empowers young people to celebrate life with a

1. Situation of Youth Today

Section F – What is your Opinion?

1F1. Personal Contract:

Some Ground Rules

See beginning of the manual for pretest.

1G1. Prayer: Psalm 127

Let us pray Psalm 127, asking God to accompany us in the

Announcements be made. And agreement be made on the mode

Self Awareness and Acceptance

Revision of Previous Sessions:

Link to Skills already Learnt:

New Skills to be Learnt in this Session:

Section A – Opening Up the Layers

Objectives: 2A1. Ice Breaker: Who are you x 10?

2A2. Introduction: Layers of the Self

Ask two or three individuals to share their answers to the question,

you still be yourself?” “Instead of you doing this particular job, if

Referring to the diagram9 explain to the participants meaning of

2A3. Activity : Story of the Eagle

Objectives: 2B1. Ice Breaker: Stone in the Garden

 After the sharing give some time for the participants to

2B2. Activity: Traffic Signal

1. Crossroads: you are at a junction in your life when you have to

2B3. Input: Johari Window

The way we are:

Open (Arena) Blind

Hidden (Façade) Dark

The ‘Open arena’ can be extended in the following ways;

i. By working on the Blind Area through:

Objectives: 2C1. Ice Breaker: Colour-Flower-Animal

In the session “Where Am I?” we were dealing with the external

2C3. Activity: Faces of My Life

This exercise takes the following steps: