What Have I Become in the Midst of this Pandemic?

What did the Pandemic made me realize? I knew most of my peers would disagree, but this tragedy
taught me a lot of things. I realized how equality was so important in the middle of this Pandemic.
Equality equals unity. I believed in that because I noticed how other people were underrated and was
always surrounded by trouble. I wanted people to believe that being united was the only way to stop this
disaster, but as this got more dangerous, I realized how important it was if there was a person that
would lead us through the difficulties in the right path and only if people would start listening to the
voice that had been quiet, but was willing to voice out just so we could be out of this catastrophe.

Being in a pandemic for almost a year and a half, I’ve discovered two things that casually became my
habits throughout the months getting locked inside my home. One of the habits was reading. Reading
novels online made me dependant on them because I learned new words, new vocabulary to add within
my knowledge. And another habit was writing. I knew this was weird considering I’ve always been
writing short stories, but when Pandemic started, it evolved. Normally, I would write one short story in
one month, yet I had nothing to do while in the middle of Pandemic so, I decided to write more. It may
be boring for other people, but rest assured, not for me. You see, my imagination was the only way for
me to escape my sadness in reality. Reading and writing convinced me to be a better version of myself.
You know the feeling when you really wanted to be confident, but could not because of certain things
holding you back? That was what I felt when even before the tragedy happened. And because of reading
and writing, I realized I had to make a choice. Do things beyond what people think you can do or
restrain yourself and miss opportunities. I chose the former.

I don’t like the feeling of stress, I admit. But of course, as I grew older, I found it more as a nuisance. It
made me feel weak, yet I knew everyone felt the same with stress. Stress came with anxiety when the
Pandemic problem started itching on my insides. I just felt the need to stop thinking and I did. But
instead, it actually got worse. I started thinking the negative way, allowing myself to drown with
difficulties and thinking of the worst that could have happened if my family and I were affected by the
long-term virus going on. I did my best to distract myself. I did household chores more often and
thought of scenarios that I knew that made me happy and relieved. Once again, I procured that if I ever
think of negative thoughts again, I would have a negative life.

My mental health was merely in good shape before, but since Pandemic started, I had this perception
that I needed to take a better care of my mental health. But it was easier said than done. I was busy
coping up with my thoughts that I disregarded it. I, then, knew I was failing myself, so I had to fight. I
fought myself for my mental health. As much as it troubled me, I forced myself to focus. Personally, I
did not want to drown myself in a dark road with a complicated path. It was tiring. Keeping it a secret, I
did my best for my health was the best decision ever. I may not be whole, but I knew I had to wait for
myself to heal for me to be complete again. You know the saying that goes “time is the greatest healer”,
believe in that and you will see the best version of yourself.

{EXTRA THOUGHTS}
Everything can end tomorrow. Focus on what is important to us. When all of this is over, Earth will
continue to spin, and life will flow again. The question is whether by then we will have learned our
lesson. Let us be mindful of our Earth and it will be kind to us. There is no rainbow without rain.
Remember that.