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Emily M RSE: Teaches
Emily M RSE: Teaches
MORSE
Teaches
SEX AND COMMUNICATION
The
Pleasure’s
All Yours
MEET EMILY MORSE, A WALKING
HOW-TO GUIDE FOR GETTING IT ON
1
THIS CLASS CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT WITH SEXUAL CONTENT AND/OR THEMES
remembers thinking. 'I just had this hunch – this is going released a smartphone app and signed with SiriusXM.
to change people’s lives.' She also attended the Institute for Advanced Study of
It did. Sex With Emily’s honest, candid conversations Human Sexuality. Fifteen years into its historic run, Sex
about pleasure and intimacy – the first episode included With Emily, widely cited as one of the longest-running
discussions about polyamory and bikini waxes, and an sex podcasts in history, now has more than 1 million
interview with a man named Captain Erotica – quickly downloads per month.
gained the attention of listeners. As her audience grew, Emily’s hope is that you’ll learn to better navigate your
Emily expanded into other media. In 2011, she co-au- sex life, discover new techniques and find ways to com-
thored the book Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try municate openly about sex. 'Why shouldn’t we be able
Tonight. She starred in the Bravo reality series Miss to talk about it like we’re talking about everything else?'
Advised the following year. Since then, she’s written a Emily says. 'Sunny outside. I had an orgasm for break-
column for Glamour, appeared on the TODAY show, fast. See? That’s easy.'
2
Automatic Responsive meets the shaft) until
Negative desire the feeling passes.
Thoughts
Let’s Talk
A theory of arousal,
Negative self-talk proposed by sex re- The three Ts
during sex or mastur- searcher Rosemary
bation, which can
limit or stifle sexual
exploration and
fulfilment.
About Sex Basson (see page 6),
which suggests that
sexual desire is trig-
gered by touch, affec-
Emily’s three must-
haves for a healthy
discussion about sex
between partners:
THE OFFICIAL EMILY-APPROVED
tion and romance, timing, turf and tone.
SEXUAL DICTIONARY
and that it is non-line-
Compliment ar.
sandwich Unlocking
your orgasm
A strategy for con- Sexual
structive critique bucket list The process of using
within a sexual rela- Four stages affect orgasm, pros- masturbation for
tionship. Start with an of arousal tate health, inconti- The top sex acts you’d self-discovery – and
affirmational lead-in, nence and overall like to try. Write them teaching yourself to
followed by some- A theory from sex re- sexual pleasure. down and share them have an orgasm.
thing you’d like to try searchers Masters with a partner, if
or change, and end and Johnson (see you’ve got one (or
with another positive page 5) that proposes Lust phase more). Vagina
statement. a linear sexual re-
sponse cycle consist- The period in a new The vaginal canal; the
ing of excitement, relationship when Sexual menu 'inside' of the vulva.
Desire plateau, orgasm and partners typically
discrepancy resolution. have more sex. All the sex acts you
see as being possible. Vulva
When a couple has For each individual
mismatched libidos. G-area Mindful sexual encounter, you The clitoris, labia,
masturbation and your partner can urethral opening and
An area two to three choose a few. vaginal opening; the
Edging inches inside the Using masturbation 'outside' of the vagi-
vaginal canal that, as a method to ex- na.
The process of learn- when stimulated, can plore sexual response Sexual road map
ing to control ejacula- lead to pleasure and to various stimula-
tion for penis owners, sometimes orgasm. tions, like erogenous Your unique turn-ons Vulva owner
achieved by reaching Medical evidence of zones and personal and kinks.
the precipice of or- the G-area – often fantasies (see page People with vulvas
gasm, then stopping called the G-spot, 12. See also: sexual (it’s not just cis
stimulation (see also: short for the Gräfen- wellness). Sexual wellness women).
squeeze technique). berg spot and named
for gynaecologist Er- Sexual health, both
nst Gräfenberg – re- Orgasm gap physical and emo- Yes/No/Maybe
Elevator pitch mains limited due to tional. Sexual well- list
long-standing gen- The disparity in or- ness is understood as
A brief talk wherein der disparities in gasm frequency be- an important part of A list of sex acts on
you tell your partner health research, and tween penis owners overall health and which you and/or
about a fantasy and its entire existence and vulva owners. well-being. your partner can
propose turning it has been called into mark “Yes,” “No,” or
into a reality. question in recent “Maybe,” indicating
years. Orgasmic Squeeze an individual or
potential technique shared appetite for
Feel-good specific acts.
hormones Kegels All of the orgasms in A method of edging
your future. for penis owners. This
Oxytocin, dopamine, Pelvic floor exercises means stopping stim-
serotonin, prolactin that both penis own- ulation when the pe-
and endorphins – the ers and vulva owners Penis owner nis owner nears ejac-
chemicals your brain can use to strengthen ulation and squeezing
releases as a re- sexual muscles. People with penises the top of the penis
sponse to orgasm. These can positively (it’s not just cis men). (where the glans
3
What They Don’t
Teach You in
Sex Education
SPOILER: IT’S A VERY (VERY) LONG LIST
4
Censory Overload
A CRASH (INTER)COURSE ON THE
HISTORY OF SEX IN MODERN MEDIA
5
containing 'sexually vibrator. Average annual Straight Guy premieres 2018 2018
explicit content.' sales of the product on Bravo. The show Netflix reboots Queer HBO hires Alicia Rodis,
increase more than 700 focuses on five gay Eye for the Straight the network’s first-ever
1995 percent. men giving grooming, Guy as simply Queer intimacy coordinator,
Activist Riki Anne culinary and styling Eye. The new iteration to oversee and chore-
Wilchins uses the 2000 advice to straight male sees the Fab Five – Tan ograph all sex scenes
word genderqueer in a Queer as Folk, the first contestants. France, Jonathan Van for The Deuce (a series
newsletter, which helps hour-long drama on Ness, Karamo Brown, about the sex work in-
popularise the term American TV focused 2005 Bobby Berk and Antoni dustry). Her presence is
throughout the ’90s. on LBGTQ+ adults, pre- Sex With Emily, one of Porowski – working so significant in terms of
mieres on Showtime. the longest-running sex with (and crying with) making actors feel pro-
1997 podcasts in history, 'heroes' of all genders tected that HBO hires
The Ethical Slut, written 2002 begins production. and sexual orientations. intimacy coordinators
by Dossie Easton and Sex researcher Rose- It’s a global sensation. for all of its shows.
Janet Hardy, arrives mary Basson introduces 2013
in bookshops. It sells the Cyclical Model of De- Masters of Sex pre-
200,000 copies and sire, positing that desire mieres on Showtime.
reframes the dialogue can appear in response The period drama is
surrounding polyamory. to outside activity, like based on the lives of Journal Prompt: What are some
reading erotica. William Masters and memorable sex pop culture moments
1998 Virginia Johnson, pio- or news stories that happened in your lifetime?
HBO’s Sex and the City 2003 neers in the science of Why did they make an impact on you?
features the Rabbit Queer Eye for the human sexuality.
View Responsibly
HOW TO CONSUME PORNOGRAPHY ETHICALLY
E
rotica has effectively existed, in Guide for Women and Their Lovers
one form or another, for as long as he Lady’s Guide to
T by Allison Moon
the written word. Sure, the earliest Celestial Mechanics
known Mesopotamian raunch (written by Olivia Waite Pleasure Activism:
by a woman, on a terracotta tablet, The Politics of Feeling Good
circa 2300 BC) or Victorian Eng- et a Life, Chloe Brown
G by Adrienne Maree Brown
land’s euphemistic botanical pornos by Talia Hibbert
(Charles Darwin’s grandfather Erasmus Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary
was among the genre’s pre-eminent Addicted by Zane Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure and
scribes) seems mild by modern stand- Relationships by Juno Roche
ards. In their respective eras, however, est Women’s Erotica
B
these were sources of education and of the Year edited by Bonk: The Curious Coupling of
arousal, and the medium can still deliv- Rachel Kramer Bussel Science and Sex by Mary Roach
er on both fronts. Interested in explor-
ing? Here are a few contemporary texts
worth checking out.
7
Would you rather
Pleasure Chest
Which sex toy belongs on your
Can't go
wrong with a
butt plug.
put your penis
inside a toy or wear nightstand? Read on to find out
a toy restricting re
t he
your penis? ar
St WEARING THE
TOY FOR A WHILE
Which body
LET'S LET'S
part are you most
GO WITH GO WITH
PENIS interested in BUTT What
stimulating?
really gets
I WANT TO KEEP you
IT ON THE going?
PERIMETER I'LL TAKE THE FULL
'AMERICAN PIE'
EXPERIENCE LET'S GO SLOW IN
WITH AND OUT
VAGINA MOVEMENTS GOOD OLD-
Go a few
FASHIONED
rounds Do you THRUSTING
with a want a toy
cock ring. that looks
like a
Do you like Sounds like
vulva?
external a job for anal
I'M ALL ABOUT stimulation or beads. Stick with
EXPERIMENTING
do you prefer a dildo.
something
I'M ALL ABOUT internal?
REALISM
I'M MORE OF AN
INDOOR FAN
Give a I'M AN EQUAL-
masturbation OPPORTUNITY
sleeve or EITHER/OR ORGASMER
egg a whirl. Try a
fleshlight Want to fly
or pocket solo or pair
pussy. up with your
It doesn't partner?
get better
PARTNER-
than a
I'M MORE OF AN FRIENDLY, PLEASE
rabbit
OUTDOOR FAN vibrator.
ME,
MYSELF
How much AND I
Kick things
I LIKE IT intensity GOT ANYTHING
LIGHTER WITH SUCTION? up a notch with
can you
a harness and
handle?
strap-on set.
A G-spot
THE STRONGER vibrator
THE BETTER is a solid
A bullet or
choice.
lipstick vibra- Do we ever.
tor should be Try an air-pulse
your – well – clitoral
vibe. Give
stimulator.
a wand
a go.
Sex à la
Carte
'I’ll take foreplay
with a side of oral'
On either
Make eye contact
Add a sex toy
KISS, KISS Add lube
Kiss their neck
Add anal play
Nibble their lower lip
Touch their mouth
with your finger
Suck on their tongue
ANAL PLAY
Kiss them like you Lick the anus (use lube!)
want to be kissed dd a finger (or two)
A
Ask them to show inside
you how they want ake a 'come-
M
to be kissed
hither' motion
to find the prostate
Add a sex toy
FOREPLAY... OR
THE MAIN COURSE
Sensual massage
Nipple play
Mutual masturbation
nog – but you
S
keep your clothes on
9
PENETRATIVE SEX
Vaginal or anal;
penis or strap-on
T
myself with men,' Emily says. 'They somehow feel inad-
equate. They feel that if I have to touch myself, they’re
hink about what makes a good sex partner. doing something wrong, and I just want to be like, "No,
Openness? Honesty? Communication? A libido it’s just that your penis is nowhere near the clitoris. It has
that matches yours? No matter how many nothing to do with your abilities."'
amazing lovers you’ve had, we all have the same Along with touching yourself during sex or asking
number one: ourselves. your partner to do so, you can use masturbation, fantasy
'We are responsible for our own pleasure,' Emily ex- (like reading erotica or watching porn), and sexual expe-
plains. 'I’m responsible for my orgasm, you’re responsible riences to figure out what gets you to orgasm, and once
for your orgasm. It’s not about your partner giving you an you know, you can give your partner specific instruc-
orgasm. It’s about us understanding what we need and tions: 'I love having my neck kissed right here, above my
what feels good.' collarbone' or 'I’m really curious about wearing a blind-
Science backs up Emily’s assertion. A fold during sex.'
2014 study, conducted by Kwantlen Pol- 'When we start to say, "I’m going to
ytechnic University in British Columbia, be an advocate for my pleasure," then we
Journal
found that the more women focused on are able to understand the depths of our
Prompt:
their own pleasure during sex, the more sexual pleasure and how we could have
Reflect on some ways
satisfied both they and their sex partners that you can advocate a healthier relationship,' Emily says. For
were in the end. Vulva owners in particu- for your own pleasure. more on how to tap into your sensuality,
lar need to advocate for their own pleas- take a look at the next page.
11
Going Journal Prompt: Write down your plan for mindful
Solo
masturbation – when you’ll do it (i.e., in the evening
before bed) and how you’ll prepare (i.e., asking your
partner for some alone time and curating a playlist).
12
Oral Reports
Tough conversations – and how to have them
13
X MARKS THE SPOT
Gauge your appetite for experimentation Massaging inner thighs
Mutual masturbation
A re you interested in adding a few new activities to your sex
life? Try making a Yes/No/Maybe list. Emily calls it a kind of
'sexual road map,' and it’s exactly what it sounds like: a list of in-
Neck kissing
timate activities that you can mark Yes (I definitely want to do this), Nipple play
No (I definitely do not want to do this) or Maybe (I’m not sure if I’d
Oral sex
enjoy this, but I’m open to talking more about it and maybe trying it).
You can use it either alone or with a partner. If you’re using a Orgasm denial
Yes/No/Maybe list with a partner, you should each fill out the list
separately and then compare to see where your desires overlap. Penis rings
Penis worship
Period sex
Complex Trauma
C L A S S C R E D I TS
Headshot of Emily
Photograph courtesy Nathalia Vieira
Instructor Guide
Spot illustrations by Claire McCracken
Timeline illustration by Peter Goes
Figurative illustrations by Regards Coupables