COUNSELLING REFLECTION

Counselling Reflections

O’Nesseia Edmondson

ECC 514: Introduction to School-Based Counselling Skills

City University of Seattle

Instructor: Carol-Anne Haring

July 10, 2021

COUNSELLING REFLECTION

Introduction

This course and the opportunity to learn about and practice my reflective listening skills
has been extremely beneficial. I have definitely established a new level of respect for school
counsellors and counsellors in any capacity. This course has opened my eyes to levels of
counselling that I had never thought about before. I am to say the least flabbergasted with the
roles counsellors play in our schools and in the lives of our youngsters. I am happy that they are
there and will most certainly be putting out an extra effort into making any counsellor I come
across know how truly respectful I am of their jobs and their selflessness in playing such a
meaningful role in the lives of our students.

 I am not a counsellor, but I am an elementary classroom teacher, which means I play that
role in some form or shape. I have been in education for twenty-one years, and in that time, I do
not have many deep memories of school counsellors that have worked closely with the students
in my class. It, therefore, leaves me serving in that capacity of mediator between students who
have disagreements. I may or may not have handled those situations well in the past, but thanks
to this course, I am sure that I have gathered some new tools for my toolbox that I will pull out
the next time I have to deal with any such situations.

I am appreciative of the opportunity to explore reflective counselling and practice this in

role-playing sessions with members of my cohort. I had no idea how challenging it would have
been to do this. To start, I want to acknowledge that I made several blunders in my role-play
reflective counselling session. As I went through the video slowly, I felt knots forming in my
throat. Our instructor, Carol-Anne, had done such an amazing job helping us understand what
was expected in a reflective counselling session, and we had all the tools to carry out a successful
session. Still, it was definitely not as easy as it seemed. I will identify two areas where I feel I
could have done so much differently.

Reflection

Firstly, I needed to acknowledge my client’s feelings more frequently throughout our

session. There were several instances where she expressed how she felt, even using the word
stressed more than once. Very early into our session, my client expressed that she was struggling
with health issues and stated that she didn’t know what to do about it because, in her case, there
was nothing to do about it. Right then, I could have repeated what I was hearing by saying, So,
Vicki, what I hear you say, is that recently you’ve been dealing with some health issues that are
causing you to feel stressed. You also don’t feel that there is much you can do about it.” Then I
could continue to say, “Tell me some more about that.” I feel that my client needed me to be
more in tune with what she was vocalizing at this initial stage. I believe this would have allowed
her to hear what she had said and to accept or clarify any misconceptions right away. There were
also other instances throughout our session where I had the perfect opportunity to repeat back to
her what I was hearing or seeing. There were instances where I could have added value to our
COUNSELLING REFLECTION

session by saying, I hear that, “You feel stressed because this disease will never go away, and
you are afraid of what could happen.” Or “You feel worried because you could wake up one
morning and find that you have to lose a limb.” I could have gone on by asking probing
questions such as, “What steps do you think you could put in place to deal with the fear of
damaging a limb while you are asleep and have no awareness of what is going on?” Repeating
what I was hearing from my client and asking her several probing questions using the ‘what’ and
‘how’ technique would have helped her reflect more, internalize the situation and probably
identify other solutions that she might not have thought about already.

Secondly, in a reflective counselling session, counsellors are not expected to ask close-
ended questions that require yes/no answers from the client. Those questions do not leave room
for the client to reflect and move forward in their thinking and solution. I am aware of at least
two times I asked my client forms of these questions in our sessions. In one instance, I asked,
have you spoken about this with your personal doctor? At this point, my client answered, ‘yes.’
Luckily, my client continued to expound on what she already knew about the disease and what
was or was not happening in the medical field concerning her condition. In a different scenario,
that might not have gone well, and I would have to find another way to get my client back on
track to discuss her feelings and concerns. This was also a great opportunity to include the use of
a metaphor. My client expressed feelings of stress and frustration; she was overwhelmed, and
using a metaphor would be an ideal technique to help her internalize things even deeper. Saying,
it sounds like you feel like a hamster on a wheel right now or your health is a roller coaster right
now, but there is always hope. Those would all be good ways to help my client make
associations, reflect and then think about further solutions to the problem. The use of those
techniques, strategically embedded at the right time, would have helped move her along in the
right direction. It was not my place to question what steps she had already taken towards getting
answers to her problem. If she wanted to divulge that information in our session, then she would
have done so in her time and in her own way. My job was simply to listen attentively, allowing
her to feel heard and valued.

 Conclusion

I am even more respectful of counsellors now after more reflection to write this paper. It
is difficult to listen without asking questions. There were so many times that I could have
responded differently. I do not feel that I moved my client on any further than when she came
into our session. I also did not find out where she was when she came in, so I could not tell if she
was feeling any better at the end of our session. Asking her where she was on a scale of 1-10 at
the end of our session was pointless as there was nothing to compare it with. I may not have
adequately accomplished getting to a level 5 or even a level 4 on the Empathy Rating Scale
(Ivey, Ivey, & Simek-Morgan, 1993, p. 27-28). I seem to want to give advice which is the natural
instinct I believe of human beings. We feel we need to ‘fix’ everything. If you are a mother, then
it makes it all the worst. There is so much more I would want to learn about counselling and how
to listen effectively without that desire to give advice. It would be amazing to learn how to listen
so that my clients, students, even my spouse and children can feel heard. In all honesty, I do not
COUNSELLING REFLECTION

know how well I would do at this reflective counselling long term, but I am sure going to try,
starting at home. I may not have come close to ‘nailing it’ this time, but I intend to continue
learning and growing in this area of counselling. After going through this course and
participating in the reflective role-play sessions, I truly believe that it does take a special calling
to do a school counsellor's work.

As an instructional leader, Modeling Commitment to Professional Learning is important.

The Alberta Leadership Quality Standards (2020) states that A leader engages in career-long
professional learning and ongoing critical reflection to identify opportunities for improving
leadership, teaching and learning. It further states that achievement of this competency is
accomplished by: h) collaborating with community service agencies to provide wrap-around
supports for all students who may require them, including those with mental health needs.

To be an effective school leader and accomplish the LQS expectations, I must be engaged
in life-long learning. I am now on a path towards learning as much as possible about counselling
techniques that are effective and how I can use them to help others through their struggles and
needs. As I wrap up this reflection, I’ll do so with these wise words:

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening,
holding space, withholding judgement, emotionally connecting, and communicating that
incredibly healing message of, “You’re not alone.”” – Brene Brown.

References
Alberta Education. (2020, October). Leadership quality standard.   

https://www.alberta.ca/assets/documents/ed-leadership-quality-standard-english.pdf

Ivey, A. E., Ivey, M. B., & Simek-Morgan, L. (1993). Counseling and Psychotherapy: a
Multicultural. Perspective. (3rd edition). Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
Pinterest. Brene Brown Quotes. https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/419468152797175363/
COUNSELLING REFLECTION

Tape Requirements (video recording)

Date of evaluation: July 09, 2021             Partner. Vicki Kidd

8-10 minutes of reflection, paraphrase, encouragement, and summary without asking any
questions.
Candidate completes Form One while listening to complete tape and before submitting for grading.

REFLECTIVE PAPER: Reflect on this and also pick 2 areas where you would want to improve
and why?
Skills Listen For Points Obj.  Comments (*) why. 
Demonstrated (*) (Evaluator: record notes) (*) Met What added feedback
(1-5) (*) did the partner give
about this section?
COUNSELLING REFLECTION
Welcoming open Caring spirit; open
introduction  invitational phrase
E.g., “What brings you
in today?”  “I have been “Hi Vicki, how are you
looking forward to today?” It’s so good to see
meeting with you you, what brings you in to
today.” see me today?’
Reflection with content “Tell me more about that.”
#1 (0.34)
(not “how does that
make you feel?”)
Reflection with content Ahh Yeah, Vicki, I can hear
#2 that you are doing quite a bit
to ensure that you are
keeping yourself safe. (4:32)
Paraphrase #1 “So, what I’m hearing Vicki
is that you are feeling a little
frustrated today, a little
concerned, a little fearful
maybe that you have
contracted a disease that is
causing you some trouble
right now.” (1:04)
Paraphrase #2 I’m hearing that you feel a
little bit restricted with the
things you can eat and things
Was it effective/why?
Non-verbals? 
5 Yes Welcome was pleasant,
and caring.
The client had started to
2 yes explain what had been
going on but not too
deeply. She paused so the
counsellor asked her to
tell her more.
No content included.
Counsellor could have
3 Yes acknowledged what she
was hearing and how the
client might have been
feeling.
E.g., I hear that you are
feeling stressed right now
because all these
symptoms have come
back and it sounds like
they will never
completely go away. 
I could have
3 yes acknowledged that she
said she was feeling
stressed and scared.
Instead, I said she,
sounding frustrated,
concerned and fearful.
I could have also asked a
question here to help
Vicki to think of ways to
start dealing with the
feeling of stress and fear.
For e.g. What can you do
to help to calm
those fears and
take your stress
level down?
Counsellor acknowledged
3 yes how the client may have
been feeling but went on
COUNSELLING REFLECTION
you can do. (4:59)
Additional reflection(s)
if present
Encouraging statement: I am glad that you’re so
statement of client aware of the symptoms and
strength, confidence what I am hearing, Vicki, is
stated that you have a good grasp of
what’s going on with you
and you have a good idea of
how to manage it. (7:09)
Effective summary of So, Vicki, I’m glad that you
major feelings and came in today and that we
content (major points of were able to have this talk
only one concern) about your condition with
Lyme disease and how it has
been affecting you
emotionally and just the
stressor you have been
having thinking about it as it
flares up ever so often but
I’m hearing that you are
handling it well. (9:21)
Session has at least
one counsellor With any illness it becomes
statement at empathy alarming sometimes and I
level 5. can relate Vicki, I have not
had Lyme disease but I have
had other health issues that
are concerning so I can relate
with you on that but you are
to ask a question. Could
have stopped there and
given the client an
opportunity to respond.
Could have said: I know
you have done so much
already but what else do
you think you could do to
make this a little less
stressful for you?
5 yes The counsellor
acknowledged the wealth
of knowledge the client
has on her condition and
knows very well how to
manage it.
Effective wrap-up
3 yes closing. However,
maybe I could have
included some of the
specific concerns the
client mentioned directly
in my summary of what I
heard.
At the end I asked her
about where she was on
the scale of 1-10. She said
about 6. I could have
asked her what she could
do even in the next few
hours to bring those
feelings up a little higher?
I did not do anything with
her answer there. 
3 Not The counsellor expressed
sure that she could relate to
having such a serious
illness but acknowledged
the client’s knowledge of
the symptoms and ability
to manage her illness
COUNSELLING REFLECTION

expressing quite a wealth of well.

knowledge on this disease,
you’ve dealt with it for a
long period of time and I feel
like you know well how to
manage it. (7:23)
Session is void of No interruption, off-remarks, The counsellor was often
negative/detracting misdirection, or comments to 5 yes nodding but did not
interaction/habits on interrupt client process interrupt the client in any
the part of the way.
counsellor (no
empathy level 1, 2, or
3)
Tape submission is
fully audible Heard clearly 5 yes

Met minimum time 8 min. minimum-10 min.

requirement max graded 4 10:42 We went a little over our
time limit. 

  Limited or no closed- Limited closed-ended 1 No The session was not void

ended questions  questions apparent (neither
word nor voice)
“Oh, absolutely not. That
sounds quite a bit concerning
Vicki. Have you spoken
about this with your personal
doctor?” (2:31)
of questions. In fact, the
counsellor asked at least
two closed-ended
questions that would not
have helped the client to
expand her thinking and
solution processing. 

“Have you thought about

digging a little deeper, doing
some deeper research and see
what you can find about
Lyme disease that could shed
some more light on this?”
(5:08)

“Client” comments: 

“Client” signature _________________________________________