The History Of

Only Fools and Horses

“No income tax, no V.A.T.”

“No money back, no guarantee”

Contents Page
INTRODUCTION 4

ABOUT THE PROGRAMME 4

THE MAIN CHARACTERS 5

DAVID JASON AS DEREK "DEL BOY" TROTTER 5

NICHOLAS LYNDHURST AS RODNEY CHARLTON TROTTER 6
LENNARD PIERCE AS GRANDAD 7
BUSTER MERRYFIELD AS UNCLE ALBERT 7
KENNETH MCDONALD AS MIKE EPS 8
JOHN CHALLIS AS BOYCIE 9
SUE HOLDERNESS AS MARLENE 10
ROGER LLOYD-PACK AS TRIGGER 10
PAUL BARBER AS DENZIL 11
PATRICK MURRAY AS MICKEY PEARCE 12
GWYNETH STRONG AS CASSANDRA LOUISE TROTTER 12
TESSA PEAKE-JONES AS RAQUEL TROTTER 13
DENIS LILL AS ALAN 13
ROY HEATHER AS SID 14
JIM BROADBENT AS ROY SLATER 15

THE WRITER - JOHN SULLIVAN 16

THE FULL LIST OF “ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES” PROGRAMS 17

SEASON 1 17

8 SEP 81 BIG BROTHER 17

15 SEP 81 GO WEST YOUNG MAN 18
22 SEP 81 CASH AND CURRY 19
29 SEP 81 THE SECOND TIME AROUND 19
6 OCT 81 A SLOW BUS TO CHINGFORD 20
13 OCT 81 THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING 20
28 DEC 81 CHRISTMAS CRACKERS 21

SEASON 2 21

21 OCT 82 THE LONG LEGS OF THE LAW 21

28 OCT 82 ASHES TO ASHES 22
4 NOV 82 A LOSING STREAK 22
11 NOV 82 NO GREATER LOVE... 22
18 NOV 82 THE YELLOW PERIL 23
25 NOV 82 IT NEVER RAINS... 23
2 DEC 82 A TOUCH OF GLASS 24
SPECIAL - DEC 82 CHRISTMAS TREES 25
30 DEC 82 DIAMONDS ARE FOR HEATHER 25

SEASON 3 26

10 NOV 83 HOMESICK 26
17 NOV 83 HEALTHY COMPETITION 26
24 NOV 83 FRIDAY THE 14TH 27
1 DEC 83 YESTERDAY NEVER COMES 27
8 DEC 83 MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU 28
15 DEC 83 WANTED 29
22 DEC 83 WHO'S A PRETTY BOY? 29

SPECIAL - 25 DEC 84 THICKER THAN WATER 30

SEASON 4 30

21 FEB 85 HAPPY RETURNS 31

28 FEB 85 STRAINED RELATIONS 31
7 MAR 85 HOLE IN ONE 32
14 MAR 85 IT'S ONLY ROCK AND ROLL 32
21 MAR 85 SLEEPING DOGS LIE 33
28 MAR 85 WATCHING THE GIRLS GO BY 33
4 APR 85 AS ONE DOOR CLOSES 34

SPECIAL - 25 DEC 85 TO HULL AND BACK 35

SEASON 5 35

31 AUG 86 FROM PRUSSIA WITH LOVE 35

7 SEP 86 THE MIRACLE OF PECKHAM 36
14 SEP 86 THE LONGEST NIGHT 37
21 SEP 86 TEA FOR THREE 37
28 SEP 86 VIDEO NASTY 38
5 OCT 86 WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? 39
SPECIAL - 25 DEC 86 A ROYAL FLUSH 39

25 DEC 87 THE FROG'S LEGACY 40

25 DEC 88 DATES 40

SEASON 6 40

8 JAN 89 YUPPY LOVE 41

15 JAN 89 DANGER UXD 41
22 JAN 89 CHAIN GANG 41
29 JAN 89 THE UNLUCKY WINNER IS... 42
5 FEB 89 SICKNESS & WEALTH 42
12 FEB 89 LITTLE PROBLEMS 43

SPECIAL - 25 DEC 89 THE JOLLY BOYS' OUTING 43

25 DEC 90 RODNEY COME HOME 44

SEASON 7 44

30 DEC 90 THE SKY'S THE LIMIT 44

6 JAN 91 THE CHANCE OF A LUNCHTIME 44
13 JAN 91 STAGE FRIGHT 45
20 JAN 91 THE CLASS OF '62 45
27 JAN 91 HE AIN'T HEAVY, HE'S MY UNCLE 45
3 FEB 91 THREE MEN, A WOMAN AND A BABY 46

SPECIAL - 24 DEC 91 MIAMI TWICE (1) 25 DEC 91 MIAMI TWICE (2) 46

25 DEC 92 MOTHER NATURE'S SON 46

25 DEC 93 FATAL EXTRACTION 47

SEASON 8 47

25 DEC 96 HEROES AND VILLAINS 48

27 DEC 96 MODERN MEN 48
29 DEC 96 TIME ON OUR HANDS 49

SEASON 9 49

25 DEC 01 IF THEY COULD SEE US NOW...! 49

25 DEC 02 STRANGERS ON THE SHORE 49
25 DEC 03 SLEEPLESS IN PECKHAM 50

DEL BOY’S LINGO - ITS CUSHTY!!! 51

SONG LYRICS 55
Introduction

Only Fools and Horses is a hugely popular British sitcom,

created and written by John Sullivan, and made and broadcast
by the BBC. Seven series were broadcast between 1981 and
1991, with special Christmas episodes occasionally until 2003.
The show was selected as 'Britain’s Best Sitcom' in a 2004 BBC
poll. The programme title is based on an old saying: "Only fools
and horses work (for a living)", a reference to the protagonist’s
tax- and work-evading lifestyle. The theme song is written and
sung by Sullivan. In the first season a different theme was used:
this was changed to help viewers understand the meaning of the
programme's title.
About the programme
Only Fools and Horses was relatively unpopular when it began,
but the BBC persevered. Audiences grew steadily, and episodes
like A Touch of Glass (in which Del, Rodney and Grandad try
and spectacularly fail to clean a chandelier) contained scenes
that became instant classics. Series four in 1985 saw the death of
Grandad. This was hastily written into the series after the death
of the actor Lennard Pearce some way into filming. The
programme showed Grandad's funeral – uncommon territory for
a sitcom – and quickly introduced a replacement character in the
shape of Uncle Albert ( Buster Merryfield). The first episode of
series six in 1989, Yuppy Love, included what has been voted the
funniest moment in a British sitcom: Del falling behind a bar
through a hatch he thought was closed. Another hilarious
moment is from the Christmas special in 1996, Heroes and
Villains, where Del and Rodney are running through the back
alleys to reach a fancy dress ball, dressed as Batman and Robin,
scaring off some teenage muggers as they emerge.
Much of the success of the programme was credited to the
quality of the principal cast — in particular David Jason, an
award-winning actor in both serious and comic roles. John
Sullivan is also regarded as one of Britain's best comedy writers,
able to move from comedy to tragedy and back again in a single
line of dialogue.
Although the programme ran from 1981 to 2003, there were
only seven series. The final series in 1991 ended with the birth
of Del and Raquel's son, Damien. Ten special episodes were
shown between 1991 and 2003, around Christmas time. The
three specials shown at Christmas 1996 culminated in Del and
Rodney and their families achieving their ambition to become
millionaires; it was the highest-rated programme on British
television for over a decade, with 24.3 million viewers.

The Main Characters

David Jason as Derek "Del boy" Trotter
A wheeler dealer since he was a boy, Del boy had to bring
up his brother Rodney, but he's always positive insisting
that "this time next year we'll be millionaires", through one
of his dodgy deals. Del has met many ladies until finally
settling down and having a son and heir to his empire of a
yellow 3 wheeled van and a suitcase.
Real Life
Name: David Jason (birth name: David John White)
Date of Birth: 2nd February 1940, Edmonton, London,
England, UK.
Also Appeared in:
Micawber (2001), The 100 Greatest TV Characters (2001),
A Perfect Two Ronnies Show (2001), Parkinson (2001),
Angelmouse (1999), All the King's Men (1999), The 100
Greatest TV Moments (1999), Father Christmas and the
Missing Reindeer (1998), March in Windy City (1998),
David Jason in His Element (1997), The Bullion Boys
(1993), A Touch of Frost (1992), Darling Buds of May
(1991), Amongst Barbarians (1990), A Bit of a Do (1989),
The BFG (1989), Count Duckula (1988), Porterhouse Blue
(1987), The Wind in the Willows, (1984) voice of
Toad/Chief Weasel, Mr Stabs (1984), The Wind in the
Willows (1983) voice of Toad, Danger Mouse (1981),
Blankety Blank (1979), The Odd Job (1978), The Water
Babies (1978), Wombling Free the movie (1977), A Sharp
Intake of Breath (1977), Open All Hours (1976), Lucky
Feller (1976), Royal Flash (1975), Doctor at Sea (1974),
Porridge (1974), The Top Secret Life of Edgar Briggs
(1974), It's Only Me - Whoever I Am (1974), Under Milk
Wood (1973), White Cargo (1973), His Lordship Entertains
(1972), Doctor at Large (1971), Doctor in the House &
Two D's and a Dog (1970), Counterstrike (1969), Randall
and Hopkirk (Deceased) (1969), Hark at Barker (1969),
Magpie (1968), Do Not Adjust Your Set (1967)

Nicholas Lyndhurst as Rodney Charlton Trotter

The dippy younger brother of Del Boy, who had a thing for
woman in uniform, always wanted to put his 2 GCE's to better
use than working for Trotters Independent Traders, just after he
got married he got a proper job but being the plonker he is, gave
it up.

Real Life
Name: Nicholas Lyndhurst
Date of Birth: 21 April 1961, Emsworth, Hampshire,
England, UK
Also Appeared in:
Butterflies Reunion Special (2000), David Copperfield
(1999), Gulliver's Travels (1996), Stalag Luft (1993),
Goodnight Sweetheart (1993), The Piglet Files (1990),
The Grand Knockout Tournament (1987), The Two of Us
(1986), Sky Bandits (1986), The Lenny Henry Show
(1984), Bullshot (1983), Michael Barrymore (1983), To
Serve Them All My Days (1980), Butterflies (1978),
Spearhead (1978), Going Straight (1978), The Tomorrow
People (1977), Anne of Avonlea (1975), Heidi (1974).

Lennard Pierce as Grandad

Grandad was in charge of the cooking in the Trotter
household, although nobody knew why as he could burn
water. He was happiest sat in his chair watching his two
telly's and having a bet on the horses. He rarely took his
hat off and always had his pyjamas on under his clothes.
Real Life
Name: Lennard Pearce
Date of Birth: September 1915, London England, UK
Died: 15th December 1984 from a Heart Attack
Also Appeared in:
Shroud for a Nightingale (1984), Minder (1984), Bless Me
Father (1981), Nearest and Dearest (1970), Cathy Come
Home (1965).

Buster Merryfield as Uncle Albert

An old sea dog Uncle Albert had many tales of his day's in the
Navy, he had been round the world more times than a Russian
satellite and now just wanted to settle down for a peaceful life in
the Trotter brothers flat.
Real Life
Name: Harry 'Buster' Merryfield
Date of Birth: 27th November 1920, Battersea, South
London, England, UK
Died: 23rd June 1999, of a brain tumor
Also Appeared in:
Love Story (1999), The National Lottery (1994), The
Hypnotic World of Paul McKenna (1992), Big Break
(1991), Noel's House Party (1991), Shroud for a
Nightingale (1984), Strangers and Brothers (1984), The
Citadel (1983), Wogan (1982), Pebble Mill at One (1980),
The Paul Daniels Magic Show, (1979), Family Fortunes
(1978), Blankety Blank (1977), Points of View (1961), The
Time, the Place (Pre 1970)

Kenneth McDonald as Mike Eps

The landlord from the Nags Head who had enough of Del's
slates under his bar he could've retiled his roof. Always got
talked in to buying from Trotters Independent Traders.
Real Life
Name: Kenneth MacDonald
Date of Birth: 20th November 1950, Manchester,
England, UK
Died: 5th August 2001 from a heart attack
Also Appeared in:
Dream (2001), Ragged Point (2001), Peak Practice
(2001), Mersey Beat (2001), The Sins (2000), Cor Blimey!
(2000), The Peter Principle (2000), David Copperfield
(1999), The Mrs. Bradley Mysteries (1999), Goodnight
Sweetheart (1999), A Rather English Marriage (1998),
Touching Evil (1997), My Night with Reg (1996), The Thin
Blue Line (1996), Heartbeat (1996), Crocodile Shoes
(1994), Brookside (1992), Press Gang (1992), Boon
(1990), Silas Marner: The Weaver of Raveloe (1985),
Laughterhouse (1984), Tenko (1981), Breaking Glass
(1980), Chance of a Lifetime (1980), Dad's Army (1977), It
Ain't Half Hot Mum (1974), Upstairs, Downstairs (1974).

John Challis as Boycie

Boycie, Del's old school mate is a snobby second hand car
dealer, who thinks that anyone with a pound less than him is a
peasant. Boycie is married to Marlene and they try for years to
have a baby. Boycie always has a hand in some big deals and
likes a gamble especially poker. He is said to be so successful
because he's so tight.
Real Life
Name: John Challis
Date of Birth: 16th August 1942, Bristol, England, UK
Also Appeared in:
The Weakest Link (2002), Subterrain (2001), It's Only
TV... But I Like It (1999), Heartbeat (1998), The Tichborne
Claimant (1998), Brass Eye (1997), Sitting Pretty (1992),
Casualty (1988), Ever Decreasing Circles (1987), Cats
Eyes (1987), Roland Rat, the Series (1986), Lenny Henry
Tonite (1986), Juliet Bravo (1985), Beau Geste (1983),
Number on End (1980), Citizen Smith (1980), Dr.
Snuggles (1979), Doctor Who (1976), The Sweeney
(1975), Dracula (1973), Mr. Rose (1968), Where Has Poor
Mickey Gone? (1964), he also appeared in Open All Hours
as a bread delivery man, on Noels House Party and on
This Morning, and presented the Only Fools and Horses
selection box video.
Sue Holderness as Marlene
Boycie's doting wife who always dreamt of having a baby but
thought she couldn't, so instead got a Great Dane then did have a
baby when she found out it was Boycie with the problem! She
had a soft spot for Del, who always greeted her, with his hands!
Real Life
Name: Sue Holderness
Date of Birth: 28th May 1949, Hampstead, London,
England, UK
Also Appeared in:
Heartbeat (1993), You Me + It (1993), Dear John (1986),
Minder (1984), The Cleopatra's (1983), It Takes a Worried
Man (1983), Canned Laughter (1979), The Sandbaggers
(1978), It Could Happen to You (1976), Bless This House
(1974), That'll Be the Day (1973), Fly Into Danger (1972)

Roger Lloyd-Pack as Trigger

Trigger is another one of Del's old school pal's, he was
actually head boy. The dopey road sweeper is always a
few seconds behind the conversation and a small time
crook supplying Del and 'Dave' with dodgy goods.
Real Life
Name: Roger Lloyd-Pack
Date of Birth: 8th February 1944, London, England, UK
Also Appeared in:
Longitude (2000), Oliver Twist (1999), The History of Tom
Jones, a Foundling (1997), Preaching to the Perverted
(1997), The Missing Postman (1997), Paul Merton in
Galton and Simpson's... (1996), Hollow Reed (1996), The
Young Poisoner's Handbook (1995), U.F.O. (1994),
Princess Caraboo (1994), Interview with the Vampire: The
Vampire Chronicles (1994), The Vicar of Dibley (1994),
Dandelion Dead (1993), Health and Efficiency (1993),
Inside Victor Lewis-Smith (1993), The Trial (1993),
Heartbeat (1992), Clothes in the Wardrobe (1992), Trust
Me (1992), Party Time (1992), Murder Most Horrid (1991),
2point4 Children (1991), The Gravy Train Goes East
(1991), American Friends (1991), Selling Hitler (1991),
The Object of Beauty (1991), Stay Lucky (1990), The
Finding (1990), Mr. Bean (1989), The Misadventures of
Mr. Wilt (1989), The Cook the Thief His Wife & Her Lover
(1989), The Modern World: Ten Great Writers (1988),
Inspector Morse (1987), The Deliberate Death of a Polish
Priest (1986), Lovejoy (1986), Boon (1986), Moving
(1985), Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984), The Bill (1983),
Private Schultz (1981), Meetings with Remarkable Men
(1979), Cuba (1979), The Professionals (1977), Survivors
(1975), The Naked Civil Servant (1975), Confessions of a
Sex Maniac (1974), Spyder's Web (1972), Jason King
(1971), Fright (1971), Fiddler on the Roof (1971), The Go-
Between (1971), Figures in a Landscape (1970), Hamlet
(1969), The Magus (1968).

Paul Barber as Denzil

Denzil also went to school with Del and the boys, but only for a
couple of years when his parents moved down from Liverpool.
He was married to Corrine, but after years of being ripped of
with Del's dodgy deals they split up.
Real Life
Name: Paul Barber
Date of Birth: 1952, Liverpool, England, UK
Also Appeared in:
The 51st State (2001), Wild About Harry (2000), Harbour
Lights (1999), TFI Friday (1998), Casualty (1998), The
History of Tom Jones, a Foundling (1997), The Full Monty
(1997), The Drew Carey Show (1997), Cracker (1995),
Priest (1994), Brookside (1994), Alive and Kicking (1991),
Casualty (1991), Boon (1990), The Brothers MacGregor
(1985), The Front Line (1984), Minder (1980), The Long
Good Friday (1980), Boys from the Blackstuff (1980),
Porridge (1979), Gangsters (1975), I Didn't Know You
Cared (1975).

Patrick Murray as Mickey Pearce

The wannabe wheeler dealer Mickey was always trying to get
into the big time but never quite made it.
Real Life
Name: Patrick Murray.
Date of Birth: 17th December 1956, Greenwich, London,
England.
Also Appeared in:
Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), Breaking Glass (1980),
Moon Over the Alley (1980), Keep It In the Family (1980),
The Class of Miss MacMichael (1978), Scum (1977).

Gwyneth Strong as Cassandra Louise Trotter

Cassandra is a career woman and didn't like anything standing in
the way of progressing at the bank, even Rodney's idea of
coming home to cooked meals.
Real Life
Name: Gwyneth Strong
Date of Birth: 2nd December 1959, London, England, UK
Also Appeared in:
An Unsuitable Job for a Woman (2000), Harry Enfield's
Brand Spanking New Show (2000), Lucy Sullivan Is
Getting Married (1999), Forgotten (1999), Real Women
(1998), A Touch of Frost (1997), The Missing Postman
(1997), Crimetime (1996), Thin Ice (1995), 99-1 (1994),
Clothes in the Wardrobe (1993), Nice Town (1992), Afraid
of the Dark (1991), Living with Dinosaurs (1989), Cry
Freedom (1987), Paradise Postponed (1986), White City
(1985), Rainy Day Women (1984), Bones (1984), Minder
(1982), Love Story: Mr. Right (1982), The Story of Ruth
(1981), Bloody Kids (1979), The Flockton Flyer (1976),
Edward the King (1975), Nothing But the Night (1972).

Tessa Peake-Jones as Raquel Trotter

Raquel dreamt of becoming an actress and met Del's family
while acting as a stripper gram, she soon settled into the Trotter
household and Del even got her a job singing at a club in a duo.
She never agrees with Del's dodgy deals and thinks most of his
stock is a load of junk.
Real Life
Name: Tessa Peake-Jones
Date of Birth: 9th May 1957, Hammersmith, London,
England, UK
Also Appeared in:
The Lost World (2001), The Bill (2001), Holby City (2001),
Summer in the Suburbs (1999), Births, Marriages and
Deaths (1999), Midsomer Murders (1998), The History of
Tom Jones, a Foundling (1997), The Demon Headmaster
(1996), So Haunt Me (1992), Casualty (1990), Up the
Garden Path (1990), When We Are Married (1987),
Quartermaine's Terms (1987), The Two Gentlemen of
Verona (1983), Bergerac (1983), Pride and Prejudice
(1979), What the Butler Saw (19??)

Denis Lill as Alan

Alan was the father of Cassandra, and owned the Printing
Business where Rodney worked. Alan was always being led
astray by Del boy, with perhaps his greatest Only Fools and
Horses appearance in “The Jolly Boys Outing”.
Real Life
Name: Denis Lill.
Date of Birth: 22nd April 1942, Hamilton, Waikato, New
Zealand.
Also Appeared in:
Heartbeat (2002), I Was a Rat (2001), CI5: The New
Professionals (1999), What Rats Won't Do (1998),
Rebecca (1997), Mrs. Dalloway (1997), Fierce Creatures
(1997), Element of Doubt (1996), Evita (1996), Paul
Merton in Galton and Simpson's... (1996), Richard III
(1995), Outside Edge (1994), Highlander (1994), The
Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes (1994), Red Hot (1993),
Don't Leave Me This Way (1993), Poirot (1993), Red
Dwarf (1993), Frank Stubbs Promotes (1993), The 10
Percenters (1993), Bernard and the Genie (1991),
Waterfront Beat (1990), Casualty (1990), Stay Lucky
(1990), Batman (1989), Blackadder's Christmas Carol
(1988), Salome's Last Dance (1988), Boon (1988),The
Return of Sherlock Holmes (1988 & 86), Suspicion (1987),
Blackadder the Third (1987), Terry and June (1987),
Arthur the King (1985), Jenny's War (1985), Mapp & Lucia
(1985), Bergerac (1984), Doctor Who (1984 & 77), Reilly:
The Ace of Spies (1983), China Rose (1983), Rumpole of
the Bailey (1983-92), Rumpole of the Bailey (1983), The
Scarlet Pimpernel (1982), Bad Blood (1981), Peter and
Paul (1981), The Professionals (1980), Agatha Christie's
Partners in Crime (1980), The Eagle Has Landed (1976),
Van der Valk (1976 & 73), Rock Follies (1976), Edward
the King (1975), Madame Bovary (1975), Survivors
(1975), The Train Now Standing (1972).

Roy Heather as Sid

Sid ran the café where Del boy and Rodney often had breakfast.
He was never seen without his trademark cigarette, even when
he was cooking !!
Real Life
Name: Roy Heather.
Date of Birth: Unknown?
Also Appeared in:
Time Gentlemen, Please (2000), Cadfael (1997), The
Legacy of Reginald Perrin (1996), Jack and Jeremy's Real
Lives (1996), Frank Stubbs Promotes (1994), The 10
Percenters (1994), Bottom (1992), As Time Goes By
(1992), Poirot (1990), Colin's Sandwich (1988), Edge of
Darkness (1986), Return to Treasure Island (1985),
Experience Preferred... But Not Essential (1982).

Jim Broadbent as Roy Slater

Roy 'The Slag' Slater also went to school with Del, but never
really fitted in as he wanted a career in the Police force, once
even arresting his own father for a broken light on a bike! He
worked his way up to Chief Inspector, collecting more grasses
than Fissons and becoming the most hated copper around, but
was booted out after being convicted of Diamond smuggling.
Real Life
Name: Jim Broadbent
Date of Birth: 24th May 1949, Lincoln, Lincolnshire,
England, UK
Also Appeared in:
Gangs of New York (2002), Iris (2001), Moulin Rouge!
(2001), Bridget Jones's Diary (2001), Comic Relief: Doctor
Who and the Curse of Fatal Death (1999), Topsy-Turvy
(1999), Little Voice (1998), The Avengers (1998), The
Borrowers (1997), The Peter Principle (1997), Rough
Magic (1995), Richard III (1995), The Last Englishman
(1995), Wide-Eyed and Legless (1994), Widows' Peak
(1994), Princess Caraboo (1994), Bullets Over Broadway
(1994), Prince Cinders (1993), The Comic Strip Presents
(1993), Gone to Seed (1992), The Crying Game (1992), A
Sense of History (1992), Enchanted April (1992), Inspector
Morse (1992), Murder Most Horrid (1991), Work! (1990),
Erik the Viking (1989), Victoria Wood (1989), The Modern
World: Ten Great Writers (1988), Blackadder's Christmas
Carol (1988), Vroom (1988), Tales of the Unexpected
(1988), The Good Father (1987), Superman IV: The Quest
for Peace (1987), The Insurance Man (1986), Silas
Marner: The Weaver of Raveloe (1985), Brazil (1985),
Victoria Wood: As Seen on TV (1985), Happy Families
(1985), The Hit (1984), The Black Adder (1983), Birth of a
Nation (1982), Dead On Time (1982), Uliisses (1982), Bird
of Prey (1982), Time Bandits (1981), Breaking Glass
(1980), Dogs of War, The (1980), Four Questions About
Art (1979), The Passage (1979), The Shout (1978).

The Writer - John Sullivan

Leaving school at the age of 15 with a determination to become
a writer of comedy, John Sullivan (born in Balham, south
London, on 23 December 1946) was to strive unsuccessfully for
a further 15 years before finally achieving his goal. Submitting
scripts as he moved between numerous dead-end jobs in his
native south London, he was unconsciously absorbing the
ambience of the region's street life that would eventually form
the core of his most successful creation: Only Fools and Horses.
Once he had a foothold in the BBC (albeit in the props
department), Sullivan approached the esteemed comedy
producer Dennis Main Wilson with one of his scripts. Greeted
with remarkable enthusiasm considering it was the work of a
novice, the submitted script became the basis of an episode (tx.
12/4/1977) of the anthology series Comedy Special (BBC, 1972-
77). The public reaction was sufficiently encouraging for a full
series to be commissioned. The result was Citizen Smith (BBC,
1977-80), with Robert Lindsay as aspiring Marxist revolutionary
Wolfie Smith (based on a character Sullivan had once met),
luckless figurehead of the Tooting Popular Front party (total
membership: four). Maintaining a south London setting, but
moving from Tooting to Peckham, Sullivan's next series, Only
Fools and Horses (BBC, 1981- ), remains his finest achievement
to date. His vivid evocation of south London working-class life
through an array of finely-drawn characters and, above all,
brilliantly witty dialogue eventually won viewers over following
a hesitant start, turning the series into one of British television's
most popular sitcoms. It is certainly one of the best, winning
BAFTA awards for best comedy series in 1986, 1989 and 1997.
The essential ingredient behind the success of these two series,
particularly Only Fools and Horses, was their grounding in the
characters and vernacular of the south London milieu in which
Sullivan was steeped. Conscious, however, that he was
becoming perceived solely as a chronicler of south London
working-class life (and male-centred with it), he took steps to
broaden both subject matter and character types in his
subsequent work.
Among John Sullivan’s other TV Credits are :-
The Full List Of “Only Fools and Horses” Programs
Season 1
8 Sep 81 Big Brother
Del employs younger brother Rodney as a member of
Trotters' Independent Traders, despite warnings from his
business colleagues. When Rodney decides to become
the Trotters' financial adviser - monitoring the accounts
and keeping Del's dodgy dealings in check - Del has
second thoughts about their partnership.
Cracks show in the partnership when Rodney
inadvertently bungles a deal with Trigger. But despite Del's
anger, it turns out that Rodder's advice would have
prevented the purchase of 25 briefcases that are locked
with the serial number inside.
Del and Rodney have yet another row and 'Little Bruv'
plans a career change. Desperate to make his mark on
the world, Rodney decides to leave for Hong Kong - a
great plan, if only he'd remembered his passport.

15 Sep 81 Go West Young Man

Del and Rodney are once again hunting for bargains. And
after stopping off at Boycie's car lot they spy a Mark II
Cortina that's being used as a part-exchange for a Vanden
Plas. Del knocks the asking price down to £25, so long as
he houses Boycie's E type jag for a week - Del hopes to
use the Jag to impress his bit on the side. Del ups the
price tag of the Cortina to £199 and gets interest from an
Australian buyer. And with cash in their pockets, a Jag to
drive, and both of them single, Rodney talks Del into
heading off for a night on the tiles. The Trotters' night out
doesn't start too well, as they are chatted up by a pair of
transvestites in a nightclub. But their luck changes in the
form of Nicky and Michelle, who they manage to chat up
and persuade them to write their telephone numbers on
Del's cigar pack, with the promise of a date next Friday.
On their way home, Rodney accidentally throws the cigar
pack out of the window of the Jag, and when Del makes
an emergency stop, a car smashes into the back of
Boycie's pristine E-type. To top it off, the car responsible
for writing-off the Jag is none other than the clapped out
Cortina.
22 Sep 81 Cash and Curry
Eager to forge new business contacts, Del befriends
Vimmal Malik, a wealthy businessman who seems eager
to work with Trotters Independent Traders. After a dance
at the Camberwell Chamber of Trade, Del and Vimmal are
cornered by Mr Ram and his heavy boys. It seems that
Vimmal is holding onto a pricey porcelain family heirloom
that belongs to the Ram family - and they want it back. In
order to make an impression, Del offers to mediate
between the two men, especially because Mr Ram is
willing to pay four grand for the return of the statue to his
family. Unluckily for Del the four grand is just a ruse and
he ends up losing a fortune to Vimmal and Mr Ram, a
couple of conmen touring the country using the same
scam on local businessmen wherever they go.

29 Sep 81 The Second Time Around

Del meets Trigger in The Nags Head, and he's stunned to
hear that Pauline Harris, his ex-fiancée, is back in
Peckham - twelve years after she left for America. Despite
their engagement, Pauline left Del for another Mod with a
faster scooter. But with her return, Del is willing to forgive
and forget, and it's not long before they are engaged again
- much to the disapproval of Rodney and Grandad. Things
get worse when Pauline moves into the flat and refuses to
do her share of the housework. As her behaviour becomes
unbearable, Rodders and Gramps leave for Auntie Rose's
cottage in Clacton. Del hears rumours about a recent
police investigation into the death of Pauline's former
husband (Bobby Finch), and when Pauline urges him to
take out life insurance, a frightened Del heads for Clacton,
leaving an eviction notice for his fiancée.
6 Oct 81 A Slow Bus to Chingford
The trouble starts when Del persuades the local bus
company to hand over one of their open-top buses in
exchange for Rodney working as a Trainee Nocturnal
Security Officer - part of their latest company, Trotter
Watch. As part of the deal, Rodney has to suffer the
nerve-jangling experience of patrolling the bus station on
Tyler Street throughout the night. The next part of Del's
scheme is the launch of Trotters' Ethnic Tours: a scenic
tour around Chingford and Croydon, taking in such ethnic
sights as the Lee Valley Viaduct. And despite a great deal
of whinging from his family, Del persuades Rodney to
drive the bus, whilst Grandad agrees to distribute the
publicity leaflets. But when nobody turns up to the launch
of Trotters' Ethnic Tours, it is revealed that Grandad
shares the legendary Trotter business acumen and has
posted the advertising leaflets through the dust chute of
Mandela House.

13 Oct 81 The Russians Are Coming

Another successful dodgy deal means Del has over a
grand's worth of lead from a disused factory to get rid of.
When Rodney points out the three tons of lead are in fact
a D.I.Y nuclear fall-out shelter, Del refuses to believe him
until he reads the accompanying brochure. With the threat
of nuclear holocaust preying on Rodney's nerves he asks
Del what he'd do if he heard the four-minute warning.
Without an answer, Del considers putting a survival plan
into action that means reaching Grandad's allotment in
time to take shelter.
It's during a practice run for the Trotter counter-strike
survival plan that they get stopped for speeding by the
police - they never get to find out whether they'd make it in
time.
28 Dec 81 Christmas Crackers
Rodney has ran out of yuletide cheer, as the annual
routing of the Trotter festivities are wearing thin. Burnt
turkey, charred Christmas pudding, the same old things on
television, and nothing but a book lent to him by Mickey
Pierce: ‘Body Language: The Lost Art.’ When Grandad
puts on his glad rags and heads to the OAPs' party at the
community centre, the Trotter boys head to The Monte
Carlo Club. Rodney puts his new-found knowledge of the
unspoken language of love to use, but Del Boy has other
ideas. As the brothers argue over who’s technique is best,
the objects of their affections are whisked away from
under their noses.
Season 2

21 Oct 82 The Long Legs of the Law

Del and Grandad are horrified to hear that Rodney is
dating a police officer called Sandra. But while Grandad is
worried about Sandra knowing about the Trotters' sullied
reputation, Del is sweating over the amount of dodgy gear
stored in the flat. At the end of their date at the cinema,
Rodders brings Sandra back to the flat for a nightcap. As
soon as she arrives, Del spots her wearing a stolen watch
that Rodney has given her as a gift. Thinking fast, he
'accidentally' pours gin over it and promises to buy her a
replacement. Ever the gent, Rodney offers to walk her
home, and everything appears to be forgiven. But as
Sandra says goodbye, she tells Rodney he has 24 hours
to empty the flat of stolen goods belonging to Trotters'
Independent Traders before she notifies CID.
28 Oct 82 Ashes to Ashes
When Trigger's Grandmother passes away, the Trotters
gather round to offer their condolences. Ever the
considerate friend, Del offers to take some of her
valuables off Trig's hands - he wouldn't want just anyone
to come along and rip him off, after all. Del spots two urns
that might be worth a bob or two, but Rodney and
Grandad agree that they must contain the ashes of Trig's
Grandfather. As they remember he was an avid bowler,
they decide to scatter his ashes on the local bowling green
- but to no avail. A second plan to throw his ashes into the
Thames is scuppered, and a passing road sweeping lorry
eventually sucks them up - a poetic ending when they
remember that Trig's Grandad was a road sweeper too.

4 Nov 82 A Losing Streak

Del is getting into financial trouble - even his double-
headed coin can't help him win. He's gambling away his
money with no sign of stopping, and he's already £150
down. Nevertheless, when Boycie challenges him to a
winner-takes-all poker game, Del is eager to host it in his
flat in Mandela House. As the night progresses, Del's luck
goes from bad to worse as he ends up owing Boycie all
his money, the TITCO van, Grandad's cash, jewellery and
even a collection of loose change. But all is not lost, as
Del finally turns the tables on Boycie in revenge for fixing
all the previous card games in his favour.

11 Nov 82 No Greater Love...

Rodney falls for Irene Mackay - a woman twice his age -
and Del Boy isn't happy about it. Not only is Irene a lot
older than Rodders, but she's married to a hard nut who's
doing time in Parkhurst prison - and is about to be
released. Concerned for his brother's welfare, Del
convinces Irene to ditch Rodney. But when Rodney
realises Del has been interfering with his personal life
again, he goes loopy. Soon after, Tommy Mackay gets out
of prison - he soon finds out his missus has been cheating
on him with a Trotter, and goes looking for revenge.
Luckily for Rodney, Tommy finds Del Boy first, and the
elder Trotter takes the punishment for him.
When a bruised and battered Del returns to the flat, he's
over the moon to find out that Rodney has moved onto
someone new anyway, so there wasn't really anything to
worry about!

18 Nov 82 The Yellow Peril

When Del arranges a job redecorating a Chinese
Restaurant, he unwisely decides to employ the services of
Rodney 'Leonardo' Trotter and buys some paint from
Trigger. It's also nearing the anniversary of their mother's
death, and in an attempt to save a bit of cash, Del and
Rodders swipe a bit of spare paint to spruce up her
tombstone. While Del leaves Grandad and Rodney to
paint the grease-filled Chinese kitchen with 'gold' paint, he
heads off to decorate the tombstone. It's only when
they've finished painting and get a call from the owner of
the Chinese restaurant that they realise the paint was
actually luminous yellow. Fine for the walls of a Chinese
restaurant kitchen, and it certainly makes a gravestone
stand out on a dark night!

25 Nov 82 It Never Rains...

Trotters' Independent Trading Company has been forced
off the market, with the continuing downpour keeping most
of Peckham indoors. While drowning their sorrows in The
Nag's Head, Alex the travel agent mentions that business
is slow and he can't give holidays away at the moment. As
a promotional gimmick, Del suggests offering an 80%
discount on a holiday to the next customer in the shop -
and who happens to walk by, but Derek Trotter. Having
sold sun-hats in the rain, Rodders has managed to earn
some travel cash, but he is dismayed to learn that the 80%
discount only extends to a grotty hotel in Benidorm. And
despite not being included in the bargain, the brothers
reluctantly pay for Grandad to join them on their escape to
the sun. During the whole holiday, Del and Rodney check
out the local talent, while Grandad cramps their style.
Especially when they bring two girls back to their
apartment, only for the old man to scare them off with his
dentures. Things get a bit more serious when Grandad
gets himself arrested. Despite fearing that old history is
returning to haunt him - in the form of an incident 'during
the war' – it turns out that he was arrested for jay-walking
and is released without charge. Much to Del's annoyance.

2 Dec 82 A Touch of Glass

Returning from an auction, the Trotters stop to help a
woman whose car appears to have broken down. It turns
out she is a posh sort. No less than Lady Ridgemere, wife
of Lord Ridgemere who own the Ridgemere Hall Estate.
Having towed the Lady to her stately home, Del overhears
that the Lord of the Manor is having trouble with the firm
he's hired to clean their chandeliers. He wastes no time in
offering the Trotter's services as chandelier cleaners for a
mere £350. With Rodney and Del up ladders, and an old
sheet the only thing between the cutglass chandelier and
the floor, it is only natural that Grandad detaches the
chandelier from the room behind them. Del's fast talking
excuses are the Trotters' only chance they have of
escape!

Special - Dec 82 Christmas Trees

Despite knocking the price down to a mere six quid, Del
Boy can’t shift his telescopic Christmas trees (lights,
bangles, beads and baubles inclusive). He only has 149
more to sell to make a tidy profit. Stuck for a solution the
Trotters decamp to Sid’s burger van. Del’s conscience
seems to get the better of him, and he tells Rodney and
Grandad what a shame it is that the market traders can’t
afford to donate a tree to the local church this year.
Especially the little orphans. Left to guard the trees,
Rodney steals away to the church. The Vicar quickly
debunks Del’s story, and Rodders realises the tale was a
scam to get an endorsement from The Church of England.

30 Dec 82 Diamonds Are for Heather

Derek Trotter has the Yuletide Blues, and drinks away his
loneliness in Spanish night at The Nag’s Head. There he
meets Heather, who seems to be one friend short of
company. Del Boy, ever the gentleman, entertains her and
sees her home safely. At her flat he discovers that she has
a young son, to a husband who seems to have joined a
very long queue at the Job Centre 18 months ago and not
come back. In no time at all their romance blossoms, and
all is running so smoothly Del decides to propose.
However, when he takes her for a candle-lit curry, she
refuses his offer of marriage. Her husband has returned,
employed as a department store Santa, and she wants to
give it another go... leaving Del Boy without an angel for
Christmas.
Season 3

10 Nov 83 Homesick
The wear and tear of climbing twelve floors in Mandela
House takes its toll as Grandad's legs finally give way.
And after a visit to the Doctors' it is recommended that
they seek some different housing for the Trotter family - on
the ground floor!
Rodney has just been elected Chairman of the Housing
Committee, and with a little pressure from Del, he
persuades housing and welfare co-ordinator Miss
Mackenzie to move the Trotters into a three-bedroom
bungalow in Herrington Road. All seems hunky dory, until
Miss Mackenzie catches Del and Grandad sharing a
celebratory dance and cancels the deal. An ashamed
Rodney agrees to resign as Chairman of the Committee
immediately.

17 Nov 83 Healthy Competition

Rodney is taking stock of his life, and at the age of 24 he
is disappointed to find he has only risen to become Del's
look-out while they're on the make with dodgy goods. After
a bit of soul-searching - during which Del narrowly
escapes the Old Bill while Rodders was lost in thought -
Rodney breaks some big news to Del that he's set up a
rival business with Mickey Pearce. Shocked and hurt by
this, Del warns him that if he wants to stand on his own
two feet, then the price is total independence from the
TITCO cash flow; including beer money.
Later at an auction, Del warns his Little Bruv not to buy Lot
37, but Rodney doubts his brother's generosity - thinking
that he wants the lot for himself - and he buys Lot 37
unseen. It turns out that Lot 37 is a bunch of broken
lawnmower engines that Del had sold in the first place,
and after Mickey Pearce uses their meagre profits for a
trip to Benidorm, Rodders is soon back as a partner in
Trotters Independent Traders.

24 Nov 83 Friday the 14th

The Trotters take a trip down to Cornwall to make use of
Boycie's country cottage for a spot of salmon poaching.
The fishing trip should be a nice little earner with £10 a
salmon being paid for by Mario's fish restaurant. Del thinks
that Rodney, Grandad and he will catch the fish and split
the profits 50-50 with Boycie for providing the
accommodation - they just didn't bank on an escapee from
the mental institute.
On the rainy journey down to the cottage, a policeman
stops their Robin Reliant and warns the tourists that a
patient has escaped from the institute for the criminally
insane - precisely a decade after he killed a party of
weekend fishermen with an axe. Never one to let a
psychotic killer get in the way of a nifty bargain, Del
ignores the objections of Rodders and Grandad, and they
settle down for their first night in the cottage. As the storm
worsens, Rodney thinks he hears noises outside, and
when a face appears at the window, he's convinced it's the
killer. There's a knock at the door, and the Trotters' find
the institute's Chief of Security is there to reassure them -
it's only later that it becomes clear that he is, in fact, the
fugitive axe murderer.

1 Dec 83 Yesterday Never Comes

Del Boy enters the world of fine art when he attempts to
pull the wool over 'posh tart' antique dealer Miranda
Davenport. He unsuccessfully tries to tell her a rickety old
cabinet is in fact a 'Queen Anne' original, but wise to the
ruse, she coolly declines. Her attitude towards Del does
warm when she responds to an advertisement placed by
the Trotters in the local paper. When a painting Del has in
stock catches her eye, Miranda soon worms her way into
Del's affections and in no time at all, he has given her the
painting as a gift. Keen to see her again, Del pays a visit
to her shop, and is informed that she's at the local auction
house. Arriving at the auction, Miranda seems quite
surprised to see him there, but not as half as surprised as
Del Boy when Lot 24 is announced. The Lot turns out to
be Del's painting - a valuable work by 19th century painter
Joshua Blythe that Miranda is hoping to make a huge
profit on. It seems like Miranda has stung Del good and
proper, but as usual, he has the last laugh when he
informs her that she's actually selling stolen property.

8 Dec 83 May the Force Be with You

Del Boy's arch-enemy from school turns up in Peckham,
but this time he's known as Detective Inspector Slater from
the Met Police. Having known Del and his wily ways since
they were at school together, Slater knows exactly who to
watch when he's on the trail of some stolen microwaves.
Hapless Rodney has no idea who Slater is when he gets
chatting to him in The Nags Head. It's only when he sees
the horror on Del's face, after bringing Slater back to the
flat for a reunion meal, that Rodney realises something is
wrong Despite Rodney's best efforts, the game appears to
be up - one of the microwaves in question is sitting on the
sideboard in full view of everybody. Slater immediately
begins to question Del, and after threatening Rodney with
fictitious drug charges, he forces Del to turn snitch. Much
against his better judgement, Del decides to protect his
little brother and spills the beans, but only after bartering
for immunity for the whole Trotter family.

15 Dec 83 Wanted
When Rodney helps a drunken woman on the street, he is
stunned when she looks petrified, accuses him of man-
handling her, and promptly cries "rape!" Without thinking
straight, and fearing the consequences, Rodders decides
to leg it. Del hears about the escapade and realises his
naïve Little Bruv must have encountered Blossom, a
psychologically unhinged woman who is allowed out in
public on weekend breaks. Not wanting to prey on
Rodney's nervous disposition, Del naturally does the
humane thing and concocts a story about the police
conducting a search for 'The Peckham Pouncer'. It's not
long before Rodney disappears, believing he's a fugitive
wanted for the worst of reasons. Regretting what he's
done, Del Boy goes in search of his brother, and it's not
long before the scent of 'funny fags' from the air vents of
Mandela House leads him to Rodney's hiding place - in
the water tank room of the same building.

22 Dec 83 Who's a Pretty Boy?

Del concocts a plan to get revenge on Brendan
O'Shaughnessy for supplying him with apple white paint
that was actually battleship grey. Having learnt that the
Irishman is painting Denzil's flat for £200, Del begins to lie
about Brendan's reputation for drunken debauchery, and
persuades Denzil that he and Rodney can do the job for a
lot cheaper. Unsure about Del's motives, but keen on the
saving, Denzil agrees, despite the suspicion on his wife
Corrine, who is wise to Del from the very start.
The Trotters' begin the job the next day, but problems
arise when Rodney leaves a kettle on the boil and steams
the whole apartment. As well as forking out for a new
kettle, the Trotter's realise that Corrine's pet canary is
dead - seemingly killed by the fumes from the paint.
Grandad is despatched to find a replacement canary, and
having forked out £45 for a substitute bird, he seems to
have found the ideal candidate. It's only when Corrine
returns home that their scam is revealed - when she left
that morning the canary was dead.
The Trotters are promptly out on their ears, so they
reconvene in The Nags Head, where they drown there
sorrows whilst Brendan gloats over them about winning
the job back. Little does he know that Del has one last
trick left up his sleeve.
Special - 25 Dec 84 Thicker Than Water
Reg Trotter, absentee father to Del and Rodney,
unexpectedly arrives to celebrate Christmas with his boys.
Reg explains that he has been living in Newcastle, and
after a visit from the infirmary, was diagnosed with
hereditary blood disorder. Scared for their well-being, he
decided to tell his two sons. However, several tests later,
Reg is given the all clear but it seems Del Boy and
Rodders have different blood types. It would seem the
wayward father has some explaining to do.
Reg explains that he frequently argued with their mother
before they split. She had several dalliances with other
men, and Del is the mystery child. Fortunately a visit to the
family quack gives him news to put the smile back on his
face.
Season 4
21 Feb 85 Happy Returns
Derek stops a young boy, Jason, from running into the
road, and strikes up a friendship with the lad. It's not long
before Del discovers that Jason's mother, June, is an old
flame who he last saw around nineteen years ago. While
Del and June rekindle their romance, Rodders is dating a
lovely girl from the newsagent called Debby - a fact that is
seriously curtailing his dirty magazine fetish. It soon
transpires that Debby is June's daughter, and it's almost
her 19th birthday. Del and Rodney soon put two and two
together, and decide that Debby may well be Del's
daughter. It gets worse when Rodney realises that he has
fallen for a girl who could be his niece.
Everything comes to a head when Del finally confronts
June to find out whether Debby is his daughter or not. It
turns out that Debby was actually fathered by his friend
Albie Littlewood, who tragically died in a cycling accident
whilst he was seeing June behind Del's back.

28 Feb 85 Strained Relations

While the Trotter brothers try to cope with their Grandad's
unexpected death, his funeral provides a surprise addition
to their flat in Mandela House. Among the mourners - who
have come from as far away as North London - are Del's
cousins Jean and Stan, and they're accompanied by
Grandad Trotter's brother, Uncle Albert.
During the wake at the flat, Rodney seems disturbed by
the jovial behaviour and good humour of the mourners. To
distract himself he listens to salty old sea dog Albert's
stories of his exploits in the Navy. As the wake comes to
an end, it appears that Jean and Stan have neglected to
take Albert home with them to North London, so Del
decides to let him stay the night. The next day it appears
that Jean and Stan have gone for good and want nothing
to do with Albert. Despite feeling sorry for the old man, Del
is reluctant to let him stay and ships Albert off to the
Seaman's Mission. It's not long before Albert returns to the
flat, as the Seaman's mission has been razed to the
ground. So Del reluctantly lets the old boy move in, and a
new era begins for the Trotters.

7 Mar 85 Hole in One

The Trotter's have fallen on hard times, largely due to
Rodney's £500 investment in suntan lotion during one of
the worst winters ever seen. To make things worse, the
deep-fat fryer they sold to Mike, landlord of The Nag's
Head, is on the blink and the tension brings Del and
Rodney to boiling point. But throughout all this trouble,
Uncle Albert, who Rodders blames for their bad luck,
keeps telling them that something will turn up. As Albert
leaves the pub, he accidentally falls through an open cellar
door, and the Trotters' quickly come up with a way to get
some cash - by suing the pub for damages.
Albert's accident claim finally makes it to court, but to the
shock of Del and Rodney, it appears that their Uncle has
already sought 15 identical damages claims going back to
1944. Their case gets chucked out of court, and Albert
admits he was using some of the tricks he learnt as a
stuntman to try and help Del and Rodney pay for
Grandad's headstone.

14 Mar 85 It's Only Rock and Roll

Rodney has joined a new band, and Del immediately
capitalises on this by booking them into The Shamrock
Club to play for the St Patrick's night festivities. Taking his
place as the band's manager, Del winces his way through
their rehearsals, and when the Shamrock gig results in a
fight, the band are forced to leg it, leaving the instruments
behind them. When Rodney finds out the musical
equipment has vanished, he contacts the police and helps
them with their enquiries. When tell sees Rodney with the
constable, he quickly distracts the officer and pulls Rodney
aside. It turns out that Del had the instruments on sale or
return, and he'd taken them back because their band was
so bad. Rodney's dreams of showbiz fame have been
shattered, but he goes ballistic when he sees his group
performing their old hit single on Top of the Pops and
realises that without Del's interference he might have
made it to number one.

21 Mar 85 Sleeping Dogs Lie

In an attempt to earn an easy £60 a week, Del persuades
Boycie and Marlene to entrust him with the care of their
Great Dane puppy, Duke, while they are away on holiday.
Whilst out on a walk, Rodney notices that the dog is a bit
sluggish, and they decide to take it to the vets. Del and
Rodney think that the dog may have eaten some reheated
pork leftovers for breakfast, and the vet quickly informs
them that Duke has probably caught Salmonella. It's only
when they get home that they realise Albert has eaten the
other half of the pork, and they quickly rush him to
hospital. When Albert's gets discharged from hospital a
few days later, with a clean bill of health, Del boy
discovers that Rodney has been giving Albert's sleeping
pills to Duke, and the dog's vitamin supplements to Albert.

28 Mar 85 Watching the Girls Go By

Rodney is taking some stick from the lads down the pub
about his 'imaginary' girlfriend, and Mickey Pearce bets
him fifty that he won't bring a girl to the Saturday night
bash in The Nag's Head. When Rodney admits to Del that
he was lying about the girl he's going to bring on Saturday
night, his big brother sets about trying to get him a date.
On the Friday night, the two brothers head out clubbing,
and despite trying almost every club in London, they end
up in a seedy little bar in search of a date for Rodney. As
luck would have it, Del boy spots Yvonne, an old flame
who he knows isn't too picky who she goes out with, and
he offers to pay her part of the winnings from Rodney's bet
if she'll escort his little bruv the following night. When
Rodney gets home from The Nag's Head on Saturday
night he's in tears. Apparently, the date went well, until
halfway through the evening when Yvonne takes centre
stage in the pub and begins her act as a stripper - in front
of all of Rodney's mates. Del boy tries to console Rodders
with the thought of his £50 winnings, but it turns out the
bet was for fifty pence, not pounds.

4 Apr 85 As One Door Closes

The trouble starts when Del agrees to provide painter and
decorator Brendan O'Shaughnessy with enough louvre
doors to refit an entire housing estate in Nunhead. Del's
supplier, Teddy Cummings, only stocks and supplies in
bulk, so it's up to the Trotters to find two grand by the next
day or there's no chance of getting the doors. As usual, a
solution turns up in the form of Denzil's redundancy
money, which they somehow convince him to part with,
only to be told by O'Shaughnessy that the doors he's
bought aren't needed. And to make things worse, the
doors turn out to be stolen. It's not long before Denzil and
his five brothers come looking for their money, so with
nowhere else to go, the Trotters visit their mother's grave -
a favourite refuge for Del in times of trouble.
At their mother's graveside, Rodney notices a rare
butterfly from the cover of his magazine, that's worth about
£3,000 to collectors. After chasing the butterfly around the
churchyard, the park and the boating lake, they finally
capture it, only for Denzil to wander past and squash it.
Special - 25 Dec 85 To Hull and Back
Boycie and Abdul pitch a diamond scam to Del Boy, who
immediately turns them down. That is until they offer him a
£15,000 cut of the estimated £150,000 sale of the stone
on the UK market. Del finds himself designated as the
courier between Holland and Britain.
No sooner has Del enlisted a reluctant Rodders, he hears
his old foil Chief Inspector Slater is eyeing Boycie and
Abdul as drug dealers. Del decides to hide undetected in
the back of Denzil’s van. Denzil then getting in and driving
them to Hull (pursued by Rodney) was not part of the plan.
Thinking quickly, they hire a boat, and let Uncle Albert
guide them to Amsterdam. Overcoming counterfeit cash,
Albert’s amnesia, it’s only the arrival of Slater that
scuppers them. Despite this, it’s Del who has the last
laugh.
Season 5

31 Aug 86 From Prussia with Love

It's closing time at The Nag's Head, and Mike the landlord
is having problems clearing everyone out, particularly a
young pregnant foreign girl who doesn't seem to speak
Peckham English. Del and Rodney offer to help, and
despite Del Boy's dodgy French, they work out that Anna
is from Germany, and she's been chucked out on the
street and was considering getting her child adopted. They
leave Rodney to take Anna to a hotel, but he ends up
bringing her back to the flat, where she explains that,
Spencer, the son of the family she was working for as an
au pair got her pregnant and then denied it all. After
fuming about Rodney bringing another 'waif and stray'
home, Del Boy considers what can be done with Anna's
unwanted baby - and the first person he thinks of is
Boycie. For year's Marlene and Boycie have been trying
for a child, with no success, and now for a mere three
grand, Del is offering them the chance to have their very
own baby boy. The stress is clearly getting to Anna, and
she begins to go into labour. Later on Del, Boycie and
Marlene all gather round in the lounge waiting for Anna
and Rodney return from hospital. All is well until Rodney
lets Del Boy know that the Anna's baby is a girl… and that
Spencer's parents were actually West Indian!

7 Sep 86 The Miracle of Peckham

Feeling guilty about his dodgy lifestyle, Del has a rare
religious urge and heads to the confession booth of his
local Catholic church to speak with Father O'Keith. Whilst
chatting with Father O'Keith, Del discovers that the local
hospice, St Mary's, requires a £185,000 renovation or it
will soon close. And as Derek and Rodney's mother and
grandad were both cared for there, the older Trotter takes
the charitable cause to his heart. After his confession, Del
is about to put some money into the Collection box when
Father O'Keith cries out that the statue of the Virgin Mary
is weeping holy tears. Within a couple of seconds, Del has
persuaded the priest that this miracle needs publicising -
something that could go a long way towards raising funds
for St Mary's renovations. Father O'Keith reluctantly
agrees, and Del gets Rodney to alert the national press.
As press arrives from all over the world, Del helps Father
O'Keith collect the contributions from all those who wish to
witness the miracle of the weeping virgin. It's only when
the priest notices rain dripping from the roof of the church
that Del Boy's elaborate hoax is exposed.

14 Sep 86 The Longest Night

Del, Rodney, and Albert are mistakenly apprehended as
shoplifters by an overzealous security guard at the Top
Buy Supermarket. And things get worse when they're
taken to the manager's office and realise that they've lost
their receipt for the goods. Shortly after, Tom the security
guard brings a cocky shoplifter, Lennox Gilbey, into the
manager's office, where he promptly pulls out a gun and
demands money from the safe. Unluckily for Lennox the
safe is on a time-lock and due to the dodgy watch he's
wearing, he's 15 minutes later than he planned - and the
safe doesn't open until 8am the next morning. After being
held hostage throughout the night, Del realises that he
sold the dodgy watch to Lennox, and that he also knew
him as a kid. By preying on his guilty conscience, Del
persuades Lennox to reveal that the plan was hatched by
Tom and the supermarket manager to get at the £60,000
stored in the safe. The three accomplices beg Del not to
go to the police, and instead, he arranges for Lennox to
get a job as security guard at the supermarket after Tom's
retirement, and then makes sure he wins a £1,000 prize
as the millionth customer in the store.

21 Sep 86 Tea for Three

Trigger's young niece, Lisa, is staying with him for a while,
and the scruffy young girl that Del and Rodney remember
has now become a stunning 25 year-old woman. Both
Trotter brothers think they are in with a chance, and
immediately begin competing for Lisa's affections. Despite
almost coming to blows, Del and Rodney manage to invite
Lisa round to the flat for tea, and she seems more than
happy to accept. In preparation for their date with Lisa, Del
goes out to get some more 'Smash' and Rodney spends
half-an-hour on the sunbed. Just before Del leaves for the
shops, he notices Rodney has dozed off and whacks up
the heat on the bed. Much to Rodney's annoyance, he
spends most of the evening nursing his bright red face,
which has burnt under the ultra-violet rays, whilst Del and
Lisa seem to be getting on really well. To get his revenge,
Rodders picks up on the fact that Lisa mentions she was
going hang-gliding, and as a surprise for his 46th birthday,
he arranges for Del to have a go. After offering to give her
a left back home to Winchester, Del and Rodney head off
to meet Lisa's friends for a spot of hang-gliding. Not
wanting to loose face, Del reluctantly agrees to try it out,
and after launching himself into the air, he disappears for
over 12 hours. It's only later, after finding out Lisa is
engaged to be married, that Del Boy is brought back from
hospital after crashing into a television transmitter in
Redhill.

28 Sep 86 Video Nasty

Rodney's Art Class is given a £10,000 grant to make a film
spotlighting the local community, but first he has to avoid
the scheming intentions of Mickey Pearce and Del Boy.
Whilst Rodders suffers from writer's block, Del provides
him with inspiration and a tale of a killer Rhino escaping
from London Zoo and laying waste to innocent victims on
the streets of the city. Rodney immediately points out the
flaws in the logic behind the plot, and Del leaves him to it.
But without telling Rodney, Del has already arranged for
Mickey to head down to the town hall to film different
couples' weddings at £50 a time - and he has also
managed to persuade half the neighbourhood to pay £10
for the opportunity of becoming an movie extra.
To make things worse, Mickey arranges for the lovely
Amanda to pop round the Trotters' flat in her nurse's
uniform and begin filming a 'blue movie' called Night
Nurse, which is due for its premiere in the back room of
The Nag's Head.

5 Oct 86 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Del's old business partner from the 1960s, Jumbo Mills,
returns to the UK shores to strike a deal with Boycie, and
ends up rubbing everyone up the wrong way in The Nag's
Head. Jumbo has made himself rich Down Under, after
leaving rainy London for Australia with Del Boy's last £200.
In an attempt to pay back this debt 'with interest', Jumbo
asks Del to become the new face of his new import
business - but it means a move to Australia for the Trotter
family. After making sure Rodney and Albert have a place
in Oz, Del Boy agrees to join Jumbo's firm, but things don't
go as smoothly as that. Tired of wandering the globe,
Albert decides he wants to end his days in Peckham, and
it looks like Rodney's criminal record has put paid to his
dream trip. Regardless of this, Del still seems keen to go,
but when he picks up the phone to confirm the plan to
Jumbo, he politely turns him down - reluctantly admitting
that blood is thicker than water.
Special - 25 Dec 86 A Royal Flush
Rodney meets Vicky, a seemingly impoverished artist who
it transpires is the daughter of the Duke of Maylebury.
Having obtained a pair of tickets to the sold-out production
of Carmen, Rodders seems to have deeply impressed
Vicky. She is less taken by the presence of Del and his
peroxide blonde dolly bird. Especially when they open the
crisps. Vicky then invites Rodney to a party at the Duke’s
country home, and it seems romance may be on the
cards. Then Del Boy turns up, hits the vino-plonko and
ruins everything for his little brother.

25 Dec 87 The Frog's Legacy

Trotters Independent Trading is causing mayhem with
their faulty RAJAH computers. Rodders gets a new job at
a funeral directors, while Albert and Del hit the health
market with their miracle cure body massagers. At the
wedding of Trigger’s niece, the Trotters hear the tale of
Freddy the Frog, a bank robber and close friend of the
boys’ mother. He left everything in his will to their mum,
including missing gold bullion. While Del hunts for
treasure, Rodney puzzles over Freddy and his mother's
‘friendship’ - and a son who would by now be his own age.

25 Dec 88 Dates
Uncle Albert’s birthday looms on the horizon, and Del Boy
books The Nag’s Head for private drinks and a party.
Trigger surprises everyone by inviting a date he met
through an agency. This arouses Del’s curiosity and soon
he too has a date from the match-making company.
Rodney takes the initiative by going for the ‘James Dean’
look, though this ends in disaster due to an encounter with
some punks. Things look rosy for Del though. His date
with Raquel Turner (unemployed actress) goes
swimmingly... until it turns out she is works as a
strippergram twice a week. Despite a small run in with the
police, love conquers all in the end
Season 6
8 Jan 89 Yuppy Love
Del has just seen the film Wall Street and decided the
upwardly-mobile lifestyle is for him. The camel-hair coat is
out, and in comes a smart new image. Green mackintosh,
mobile phone, aluminium briefcase, but the yellow van
remains. Del even wants to buy the flat off the council and
sell it for a fast buck. Rodney, meanwhile, has decided to
complete a computing diploma course at the Adult
Education Centre. It's there that he meets a beautiful posh
sort called Cassandra, who learns his name from the tag
Del stitched into his raincoat (for a giggle).
Del and Trig ditch The Nags Head in favour of propping up
a wine bar. The rest is comedy gold. Rodney and the boys
head to a club, where Rodders amazes the others by
dancing with Cassandra.

15 Jan 89 Danger UXD

Del continues to pursue the Yuppy lifestyle, and insists
that Rodney follows suit by wearing… a suit. He convinces
his young bruv that it will help him shift 50 video recorders
he got off of Ronnie Nelson at the Advanced Electronics
Research and Development Centre. Ever the opportunist,
Del helps Denzil out by taking 50 dolls off his hands.
Unfortunately the Trotters discover too late that they are
inflatable sex dolls, filled with explosive propane gas.

22 Jan 89 Chain Gang

Del strikes up a cushty deal with a retired jewellery dealer
called Arnie. When a case of 18-carat gold chains is
offered to him, Del agrees buy them to the tune of
£12,500. Despite Rodney's objections, Derek ropes Mike,
Boycie, Trigger, Albert and… Rodney into a consortium in
which no-one can lose. A spanner is thrown into the works
when Arnie collapses at a business lunch, seemingly
struck by a heart-attack. The ambulance whisks him away,
with both the jewellery and twelve-and-a-half grand still on
his person. Despite being dead, Rodney spots Arnie
collapsing and being whisked away from another
restaurant. They've been had, but no-one pulls a fast one
quicker than the Trotters and revenge is the only dish on
the menu at Arnie's next meal.

29 Jan 89 The Unlucky Winner Is...

Del has entered every competition on the market, trying to
win as many freebies as possible. Rodney has
unknowingly been entered for an art competition, and won
it. It's only when he arrives at the 5 star hotel in Mallorca
that he learns he was a schoolboy when he composed the
winning painting, and has won the under-15 category.
While Del and Cassie enjoy playing mum and dad,
Rodders has to endure the Fun Bus, chaotic children, and
becoming a lifelong member of The Groovy Gang. He has
the last laugh, however, as Del's tinkering with his
passport makes them ineligible to claim Rodney's winning
ticket on the Spanish lottery.

5 Feb 89 Sickness & Wealth

Del is having stomach pains. It could be his new fast-
paced Yuppy lifestyle, or it could the eviction notice
demanding three months worth of unpaid rent up front.
TITCO hasn't been successful and the pressure's on to
raise the cash. The solution presents itself in the shape of
Uncle Albert's lady-friend Elsie Partridge, a medium who
lives off payments for her amazing predictions. Del thinks
it's a load of mumbo-jumbo, but sets up a seance room in
The Nags Head. Albert, worried for Del's health tells Elsie
to say his Mum has contacted her asking him to go the
doctor. When Marlene falls pregnant, just as Elsie
foresaw, Del takes heed and is prescribed with irritable
bowl syndrome. When he gets home Rodney has another
shock for him: He and Cassie are engaged.

12 Feb 89 Little Problems

Rodney's down in the dumps. Despite getting engaged, he
thinks he's failed his Diploma in Computer Science, which
could cost him a good job at Cassandra's father's
company. On top of that, he can't come up with his share
of the dosh for the new flat he and Cassandra plan to buy.
His only relief is that the diploma arrives in the post. Del
comes to the rescue, promising to call in all his favours to
raise the money Rodney needs. Trouble is, the Driscoll
brothers are calling in their debts, and those who can't pay
get bruised. Managing to buy precious time, Del cons
Boycie into paying for some dodgy video recorders and
can cover the Trotter's debts. Meanwhile, Uncle Albert has
Del sussed, and asks him how much Rodney's diploma
cost. Not all goes to plan in the end, and Del fulfils the
duties as a battered and bruised Best Man. After some
words of Trotter wisdom, Rodders and Cassie journey to
Rimini for their honeymoon.
Special - 25 Dec 89 The Jolly Boys' Outing
Cassandra organises a dinner party, inviting her ‘yuppie’
boss and his wife in the hope of getting a promotion. Del
and Uncle Albert soon arrive to put their feet firmly in their
mouths and ruin the chances of that. Despite it being
Rodney and Cassandra’s first wedding anniversary,
Rodders agrees to go on the annual Jolly Boys Outing to
Margate. The outing goes as well as can be expected
considering the driver gets drunk, Rodney gets arrested,
and the radio bought from Trotters Independent Traders
blows up the coach. Forced to stay the night by this twist
of fate, Del encounters his lost love Raquel, who is now
working as magician’s assistant. As one Trotter rekindles
his love life, the other returns to find Cassandra
entertaining her boss at home. Punching first, and asking
questions letter, Rodney blows it. Again.

25 Dec 90 Rodney Come Home

Rodney seems to have it all, a beautiful wife, a cushy job
at the father-in-law’s printing company, and a lovely home.
Del is very happy too, Raquel has agreed to live with him
having returned from a theatre tour of America’s east
coast. All is not well between Rodney and Cassandra,
however. Cassie has become a workaholic, and Rodney
cannot understand why she wants to attend work functions
instead of cooking his tea. Del, worried for his brother’s
happiness (and the loss of cheap printing perks through
Rodney’s job) plays cupid. Rodney consequently finds
himself homeless for the third time in 18 months.
Season 7

30 Dec 90 The Sky's the Limit

By The Sky's The Limit Rodney was back living at the flat
and boozing his sorrows away, while Del causes airport
chaos when he tries to help Boycie with a replacement
satellite dish, unknowingly disrupting Rodney's hopes of a
reconciliation with Cassandra.

6 Jan 91 The Chance of a Lunchtime

Life was also about to change forever for Del Boy when
Raquel drops a bombshell in The Chance of a Lunchtime.
For most of the episode he's worrying about her leaving to
take a job on a theatre tour, but her decision becomes a
simple one when she discovers she's pregnant. Rodney
then drops his own bombshell by resigning from his job at
Alan, his father in laws, printing works, after mistakenly
thinking Alan wouldn't accept it.

13 Jan 91 Stage Fright

If Rodney Come Home was rather downbeat in tempo
then Stage Fright can only really be described as full-
speed Only Fools at its very best. It's a classic John
Sullivan script with the sort of twist that makes the show
stand out of from the rest. Del turns impresario when he
hires singing dustman Tony Angelino - a bravado
performance by Philip Pope - to sing at a birthday party
and everything goes fine until Del decides to play around
with Tony's usual repertoire, or rather his wepertoire. The
climax of the episode was clearly as hilarious for the cast
as well as the viewers, for if you look carefully, you can
almost see them laughing.

20 Jan 91 The Class of '62

The Class of '62 saw the return of Slater, oily played by
Jim Broadbent, one of the men considered for the part of
Del back in 1981. Slater has been languishing in jail since
To Hull and Back and it looks like he's turned over a new
leaf. A classic ensemble episode, Trigger gets the best
line. Misty eyed while recalling their school football team
and talks about camaraderie. 'Was that the Italian boy?'
wonders Trig.

27 Jan 91 He Ain't Heavy, He's My Uncle

Rodney's problems and Raquel's pregnancy are knocked
down Del's worry list in He Ain't Heavy He's My Uncle
when Albert goes missing, following a mugging. Del feels
responsible for Albert's disappearance after his attempt at
motivating him goes terribly wrong.

3 Feb 91 Three Men, a Woman and a Baby

Now Del's Hooky Street goods rarely have quite the
positive effect that his latest line has in Three Men, a
Woman and a Baby. Yet his rat-tail wigs prove just the
ticket for rekindling Rodney and Cassandra's love life,
albeit in not quite the fashion they were designed.
Special - 24 Dec 91 Miami Twice (1) 25 Dec 91 Miami
Twice (2)
At Damien Trotter’s christening (much to Rodney’s horror),
Del strikes a cushdy deal with the Vicar to sell pre-blessed
wine around the country. Rodney is living with Del and
Albert on week days, and with Cassandra at weekends, on
the advice of a Relate councillor. Del organises a ‘two for
one’ holiday for the Trotter clan, knowing full well that
Cassandra will not be able to make it. When the brothers
arrive in Miami, the family of mafioso boss Vincenzo
Ochetti spot Del - who bears a striking resemblance to
their Don.
Soon realising they are not simply being shown American
hospitality, Del and Rodney flee… aided and abetted by
Boycie, Marlene and their baby Tyler who are also in the
states. Upon a safe return to Peckham, they find dozens
of crates of wine, which were deemed unfit for Holy
Communion.

25 Dec 92 Mother Nature's Son

At Del and Rodney are strapped for Christmas cash. To
make matters worse, while Cassandra finally has her
promotion, Raquel is suffering from post-natal depression.
Rodney is concerned that Del has lost his drive. When
confronted, Derek explains that on top of his woes, the
council have approved his application to buy their flat in
Nelson Mendela House, doubling the rent. On top of that,
Grandad's allotment has become a health hazard and he
has to clear it. While clearing the allotment Del discovers
several barrels of yellow liquid. Enlisting Trigger and
Denzil, they are disposed of during the night. Finally
spotting a gap in the market, Del decides to bottle tap
water and sell it as Peckham Spring Water.
Back in the money both couples enjoy a romantic
evening... until they see a news flash about a major water
contamination, caused by Del's barrels.

25 Dec 93 Fatal Extraction

Raquel is worried that Santa will be too busy down the 121
Club getting drunk, to provide Damien with any presents.
Rodney raises the problem with Del, who explains he is
brokering a deal to get hold of some Russian ex-military
Camcorders to make ends meet over Christmas. Rodney’s
marriage is going so well that they have decided to try to
have a baby. So much so he’s getting phone calls from
Cassie at work, telling him to come home because she’s
the right temperature. Raquel leaves Del, staying at
Rodney and Cassandra’s place. Del does what any man
would: Organises a date with Beverly, his dentist’s
receptionist. He cancels it as soon as he comes to his
senses. A changed man, he invites Raquel back. After
drunkenly starting a riot on the estate he sells the Russian
gear to both the cops and the robbers. All seems calm, but
Beverly seems to be stalking Del.
Season 8
25 Dec 96 Heroes and Villains
Rodney’s fertility schedule is wearing him down. Such is
Cassandra’s need to have a baby, he buys her a rabbit,
Roger, to care for until a little one arrives. Del has a
shipment of Latvian alarm clocks he can’t shift and his
home improvement grant has been rejected. It’s Rodders’
birthday, and Del buys him a cheap gold bracelet inscribed
‘Rooney’. Finding themselves on a rare boys night out,
they dress up as Batman and Robin for a fancy dress
party held for a local publican. En route, they prevent
Councillor Murray from being mugged. They arrive at the
party, to discover it’s actually a wake, and that ‘fancy
dress’ meant ‘dress well’. The following day Del is
awarded a bravery medal for tackling another mugger, and
Cassandra has good news: She's pregnant.

27 Dec 96 Modern Men

Del is reading a book called ‘Modern Man’. Despite being
convinced he is the dictionary definition of debonair
masculinity, the book is making him behave irrationally
and rashly. Rodney is concerned about this. Cassandra is
expecting, and he wants more responsibility and a better
job to provide for his family. He unwittingly replies for a job
advertisement, posted by Del to alleviate Rodney’s
workload. Del, meanwhile, has decided to take his
manhood into his own hands and get a vasectomy. Doctor
Singh is hounding him regarding dodgy paint, and the
nightmare of him getting revenge on Del’s crown jewels
puts him off the idea. Cassandra is rushed into hospital,
suffering a miscarriage. Rodney breaks down, and it’s Del
who tells him he has to be strong for his wife. Del then
blubs his eyes out, as Rodney supports his wife.
29 Dec 96 Time on Our Hands
Rodney is bottling his emotions following the loss of his
baby. Del, realising Cassandra needs his support, wants
to help Rodney adjust. Raquel’s estranged parents arrive
for a meal, and to meet their daughter’s new man. He
does little to impress, and Uncle Albert mixes the coffee
with the gravy by accident. The next day, Raquel’s father
meets Rodney and Del as they clear their garage. Being
an antiques dealer, he spots a long-lost 18th Century
Harrison marine watch, which he recommends getting
valued. When the watch is sold for auction at Sotherby’s,
the highest bid is for £6.2 million pounds. After 16 years of
poverty the Trotters finally make it rich!
Season 9

25 Dec 01 If They Could See Us Now...!

The Trotters lose their riches in a bad investment in the
Central American Markets, and are declared bankrupt.
They return to Peckham, and their Mandela House flat.
Cassandra and Rodney are finding their love life is a little
flat, so they spice it up by role playing their fantasies.
Cassie becomes Rodney's police woman, and Rodney
doesn't quite look right as Gladiator. Del appears on the
game show 'Goldrush' in a last ditch attempt to win their
fortune back. Despite a phone call saying Del won a badly
written final question, Del tells Mickey Pearce to stick his
so-called 'fifty grand'.

25 Dec 02 Strangers on the Shore

Derek and Rodney embark on a trip to France, agreeing to
visit Uncle Albert's Navy memorial ceremony in his
honour. Upon their arrival at the village, they learn that
Uncle Albert was hounded out of the country by the
Resistance, due to his randy ways. Del and Rodney notice
all the villagers seem to have mariner's beards.
Coincidence? Del, Boycie, Trigg, and Denzil pre-arranged
a dodgy booze scam at Duty Free using Denzil's empty
van… much to Rodney's annoyance. When they arrive
they discover an illegal immigrant has seemingly stowed
away in their van. Naming him Gary, they house him, only
to find he has escaped. Sadly the connection between
Boycie's important business deal with a millionaire, and his
missing son, isn't made. They wind up in Les Nick,
arrested as The Gary Gang!

25 Dec 03 Sleepless in Peckham

Del Boy and Rodders return to our screens, this
Christmas, in the third of three specials written by John
Sullivan. The Trotters have had a turbulent couple of
years. After becoming millionaires in 1996, they burst back
on the box, after a five year gap, for viewers to realise they
had lost the money. The high life in Monte Carlo was
replaced by the low life in Peckham as they found
themselves owing a large amount of money to the Inland
Revenue. Del Boy even tried to win the money they owed
by appearing as a contestant on a television quiz show -
but Rodders two GCE's were of no help and they went
home empty handed. Rodney and Cassandra had tried to
inject some fun into their relationship, with a little help from
some fancy dress costumes. Unfortunately for them Del
caught them as 'Gladiator' Rodney and 'Police Woman'
Cassandra hotted things up in the flat. The second
episode took the Trotters on a trip to France where they
ended up bringing back more than the booze they
bargained for. They inadvertently smuggled an unwilling
illegal immigrant. In Sleepless In Peckham, the third and
final instalment, Del Boy and family have only two weeks
to find the cash to pay the Inland Revenue, or they will be
evicted from their home in Nelson Mandela House. After
22 years in the flat, it could be goodbye, something Del
and Rodney are determined will not happen. Meanwhile
Trigger has become fascinated by science fiction and is
enthralled by programmes such as The X-Files, which
leads to some bizarre moments from him - who it could be
said lives on a planet all of his own anyway.

DEL BOY’S LINGO - ITS CUSHTY!!!

An eBook on Only Fools and Horses would not be complete

without without some of Del’s classic phrases………….See
how many you remember!!

General Lingo
cop - to receive something, or a police officer.
cosmic -outstanding; exceptional
cushty - great; brilliant
dipstick - a fool
el-bow - also 'the Spanish fiddler', to end a relationship
enemy - wife, missus
Gandhi's revenge - a dodgy stomach
heave-ho - another way of saying 'el-bow'
hump - to be annoyed
humpty-dumpty - to perform sexual relations
jacksie - the posterior
jaffa - to be 'seedless' as in infertile, one who 'fires blanks'
lovely jubbly - brilliant, great, cushy
mutton - deaf, hard of hearing
noofter - a gay man
plonker - an idiot
pukka - great, perfect
ruby - Indian takeaway cuisine
schtum - to keep quiet, keep a secret
sort - a woman, or bird
stoke on trent - a gay man
stone me - an exclamation of anguish
stuke - a difficult situation
this immortal curl - the world
triffic - great, wonderful
twonk - a plonker or dipstick
wally - a twonk, a plonker, or a dipstick
Money Lingo
boracic or brassic - lacking in funds, skint
century - £100
douce in bunce - £200
earner - as in a "nice little ...", a profitable business
transaction
grand - £1000
kosher readies - unlaundered money
monkey - £500
pony - £25
potless - to be skint
score - £20
Foreign Lingo
adegos - Del's effort at adios. Spanish for goodbye.
a fait acopian - Del's French for "don't upset yourself".
Ajax - an expression of greeting usually to someone from
the Netherlands.
al dente! - Spanish for "there you go!"
allemagne dix points - phrase similar to "such is life",
possibly Del picked this up from
European Song Contest.
apres moi la deluge - French meaning, "when I'm dead,
all others may die too".
argent comptant - French from Cannes meaning, "brill".
au contraire - French for "hang on a minute"
au revoir - French for "hello".
au fait - Del likes using this but pronounces it "oh fate".
bain marie - no problem.
boeuf a la mode - phrase similar to "you win some and
lose some"
bonjour - French for "goodbye!"
bonnet de douche - French and impressive.
bonetti bonetti - Del's best Italian.
bon appetit - French for "I hope you choke on the
potatoes"
catalogue raisonne - Hold on, as they say in Beritz.
Chateauneuf du Pape! - Reserved for an explosive
situation.
chasse de forme - meaning, "the diamonds are good" in
French.
conseil d'etat - He helps me, I help him as they say in
Grenobles.
creme de la menthe - French for the "very best"
di stefano - Italian for "well done".
Don Ochetti - Del used this as a greeting, until he realised
it was the name of a Mafia boss.
fabrique belgique - I agree or approve in Belgium.
fromage frais! - Like Eureka! (when the penny has
dropped)
je suis je reste - superb according to Del.
joie de vivre! - an exclamation that impresses or French
for putting a bit of life back into your
own life.
Juan - the name of all Spanish waiters.
mais oui - no problem, my pleasure.
mange tout- my pleasure, variation like above.
menage a trois - an exclamation of surprise.
Miguel - Del's name for all Portuguese barmen.
münchengladbach - German for "hello".
Moet Champagne- The only champagne Del knows, and
prounces like poet champers.
moi - French and classy way of saying "me".
Mon dieu!- exclamation implying, "you idiot".
oeuf sur la plat - French for "it's clear cut".
oh mai oui, mon pleasure - French, sophisticated Del.
Pas de Calais - approving or divine.
Pate foie gras - French for liver sausage, goes well with
Moet Champers.
Pot Pourri! - French for "I don't believe it!"
plume de ma tante - expression of exasperation like
"Gordon Bennett".
polizia - Del can say police in more than one language.
puscas puscas - approval, it's alright in Spanish.
rein a dire, rein a faire - Perplexing French Del picked up
from Lordes.
raisse de chassie - more French Del picked up from
Dieppe.
Revenons a nos moutonst - apparently a quote from the
guv'nor of Bastille. French for 'I've
got to do something quick.'
servir frais mois non glace - French for "it could of been
on the top floor".
si danke schon, bonjour - proves how multi-lingual Del is
(Spanish, German and French)
tel aviv - Del reckons the French use this for "you can
never tell".
tete de veau- Del reckons the French use this for "every
ones a winner".
tete-a-tete - A head to head meeting with drug barons.
tres bien ensemble - French for possessing a sense of
occasion.
Vive la France- it's what you say with respect to the
American national anthem.
tres bien ensemble - French for possessing a sense of
occasion.
Voila! - The French say it after T-cutting a square inch of
the Capri Ghia, it's a way of
encouraging Rodney to finish the rest of the car off.

SONG LYRICS

Stick a pony in me pocket,

I'll fetch the suitcase from the van,
Cos if you want the best 'uns,
But you don't ask questions,
Then brother, I'm your man.
'Cos where it all comes from is a mystery,
It's like the changin' of the seasons,
And the tides of the sea.
But here's the one that's drivin' me beserk,
Why do only fools and horses work?
La-lala-la-la la-lala-lala-la
La-lala-la-la la-lala-lala-la.

Closing lyrics:
We've got some half-price cracked ice
And miles and miles of carpet tiles,
TVs, deep freeze, and David Bowie LPs,
Ball games, gold chains, whassa-names, and
at a push,
Some Trevor Francis track suits from a mush
in Shepherds Bush,
Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush....
No income tax, no V.A.T.
No money back, no guarantee,
Black or white, rich or broke,
We'll cut prices at a stroke.
God bless Hooky Street,
Viva Hooky Street,
Long live Hooky Street,
C'est magnifique, Hooky Street,
Magnifique, Hooky Street,
Hooky Street — Hooky Street — Hooky
Street.