Chapter 1

Finally, I am back home, it’s an end of a very busy year and the beginning of
the festive season. I am Ntandokazi Mthimkhulu and I school at North West
University in Potchefstroom but I was born and raised in Ladysmith, KwaZulu
Natal. I love being back at home and being with my family I’m not one of those
kids that goes back home only once or twice a year, I grab any opportunity I
get. My father passed away a few years ago and he left me with my strong and
independent mother. I am the lastborn child and I have a big brother named
Olwethu. My cousins just came to visit me so we planned a trip to Durban to
“visit” my uncle (the actual truth is we actually went there for our own
agendas and visiting my uncle was part of the plan but not on the agenda if
you know what I mean). It’s a Monday afternoon me and my cousins want to
go out, it’s the festive anyway so we party anytime, any day its normal … I
think.
“Guys so what’s the plan for today we can’t just sit around and look at each
other for the rest of the night” I ask the sisters (I call all my cousins my
brothers and sisters, I don’t like the lable cousin)
“Well let me call Tee and find out where the party is at and if we can score
free tickets”, Ow well that’s Akhona for you she always has plans and
connections, she is my uncles only daughter and the youngest amoungst the 3
of us but most of the time you would beg to differ. Esihle and I are almost
practically kids compared to her.

All is set, me and my girls are looking drop dead gorgeous and uber is on the
way, UMhlanga here we come.

We get to this event at Umhlanga and it is packed, ow well that’s Durban

people for you they never miss a good opportunity to get wasted. As we arrive
Tee is already waiting outside ready to welcome us.
“You girls are looking gorgeous, the eyecandy here will be drooling over you
guys”, Tee.

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“We actually had no choice you left strict instructions for us to look like A-
listers”, Esihle answers.
“Ow well you girls definitely took me seriously, well what are we waiting for
let’s go in”, Tee.
The night goes by and these girls are out here dancing their asses off, ow well!
that’s what a few alcohol percentages in your blood can do to you.
Unfortunately, as for me I can’t dance to save my life. I’m the girl that guards
the bags, the booze and the table while abantu beshona phansi (people dance)
but I really don’t mind it, it’s better than embarrassing myself. So, as I’m sitting
being the “security guard” while my sisters play abo Babes Bodumo a waiter
comes to me and says, “that guy over there is asking if he could buy you and
your friends another round of drinks”. I look around and my eyes finally meet
the eyes of this nice, tall, well built melanin skinned guy this guy looks like
those type of guys you only see on Instagram but you have no idea where to go
to in the world to find them. Disappointingly I am not charmed at all, I’m a bit
old school I am not charmed by a guy who can’t grow the balls to approach me
as a woman and who thinks he can get my attention with money.
“Please tell him that is generous offer but we have our bill covered”. I try to
trace the waiter’s steps without him seeing me just to see his reaction just as
the waiter was still delivering my message labo babes come back and distract
me.
“Ntando you should really come out of your shell akekho nje umuntu
omnyama ongakwazi ukudansa (There is no black person that can’t dance.)”
Akhona says as she sits down. We all laugh at her silly remark phela dancing is
a skill not all of us are blessed with.

Hours pass by and to be honest I can’t stop thinking about that nice hunk I saw
earlier, ask me why and I won’t be able to tell you. Even though I was annoyed
by his approach because I would like to believe he is better than that but he
looks like a whole full course meal with dessert on the side, niggar is fine. Ok
no I need to step out of my bubble the guy is not my type.
“Girl you seem out of it, are you ok?” Tee asks.

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“Yeah babes, I was just got lost in my thoughts for a while”, Esihle looks at me
like she knows I am hiding something but I will not kiss and tell I rather keep
this one to myself plus its not really a big deal. The night goes by, it’s 3am and
its time for us to leave, we are kak drunk but at least we can find our way back
home. Tee decides to sleep at home with us because she can barely do
anything and she is tired and will not survive the trip back to Margate in her
state. We get home finally and sleep.

***********

We wake up and it’s 2pm most of the day is wasted and we aren’t feeling too
well, that is ibhabhalazi (hangover)for you.
“Yoh! Yesterday was lit, I had an awesome time so are you guys game
tomorrow night?” Tee can not be serious.
“Haibo babes you have to be kidding me, we are barely surviving because of
last night and you want a reapeat of that”. Everybody laughs.
“Cha kahle bo we will survive plus tomorrow is more of a chillas, no hardcore
partying and you guys won’t even need to drink if you don’t want to but I need
you guys there a friend of mine is hosting this event and he needs support”,
Tee.
“Count me in tomorrow zobe sengi right mina (I will be ok)”. I am not even
shocked Akhona is always ready for action.
“HAYI!!! It’s not much of a surprise that you are the first one to say that but
Tee if it’s going to be a chillas then count me in” Esihle seconds. Ow well it
doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice now. Tomorrow si-On.

It’s Wednesday morning, Tee just left for Margate to get her things because
she decided to just book a hotel since she has a lot of plans for the rest of the
week.
Esihle,” Guys lets go out out for lunch or for a picnic at the beach ... let’s do
something I’m bored”
Akhona,” Hayi ke unephuzu lapho lets go out for lunch today then tomorrow

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we will detox at the beach.”
Ow well that sounds like a plan to me.

We get to Sun Coast hotel, we are looking mighty fly if I might add. We are
seated and we make our order. Just after that a waiter approaches me and
says, “Excuse me that man sitting over there says he would like to pay for your
bill”. Really now?? What happened to actually talking to a girl. As I scan the
room to find my next victim of rejection, ow my word I can’t believe it, it’s him
the darkskinned candy from Monday night. I don’t know whether to be
annoyed or happy, this guy doesn’t learn.
I resond to the waiter, “Please tell him that I do not appreciate these little
stunts of his I find them disrespectful. Why would we come to a place if we do
not have the ability to pay for our bill”, I say then click my tounge. Poor waiter
now he is paying for that guy’s snobbish ways but anyways zoba strong shame.
These girls are looking at me as if I just killed somebody.
Akhona comments, “haw Ntando what’s wrong with you. The guy was just
trying to be nice”.
I respond, “kahleni bo guys, which person would go around paying for a
stranger’s bill without wanting anything in return”. Akhona is shaking her head
I take it she doesn’t agree with me but IDGAF.
“But you have to admit it Ntando he is fine”, Esihle.
“Yes no lie he is fine.” Right now I’m making it seem like I don’t even care
whereas I couldn’t stop thinking about him a couple of nights ago.

So now it’s 6pm and we are back at home, we are getting ready to go to Tee’s
place so we can get ready for tonight. To be honest I am a bit excited even
though I was against the idea of going out tonight. We get to Tee’s place and I
must admit its amazing, we might as well make this place our weekend home
because I don’t see my uncle being patient for these late nights for much longer.
So, as we start doing our make-up and preps.

It’s 9pm we have arrived at KwaMax Lifestyle and people are pouring in. I’m
rather impressed Tee we are in VIP and we are being treated like Queen’s, the

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guy hosting this must really be in to her phela the guy has been checking up on
her every 15 minutes since we got here but anyways that’s none of my
business. Again, I find myself wondering about the nice hunk, he is just a
dissapointment how could he be so fine and have his manners all screwed up.
Wtf? Why am I even thinking about him, Ok Ntando come back to reality.
“Ntando wena njalo mesi out you are always out of it”, Tee says.
“Guy’s I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to”. I really need to stop day dreaming
about this guy, I don’t even like him for that matter, I really need to stop this.

It starts getting late and by late I mean it’s 3am, I’ve probabaly warned myself
a hundred times already not to day dream about that hunk but it ended up
happening and I have no idea why. We are on our way to Tee’s place and these
girls are so sloshed it is not even funny.
“Aibo wena Tee you said this is going to be chilled event can you properly see
the girls you are going with”, I really need to ask.
After a huge laugh she responds, “we only live once so what?”. Ow well she
has a point there. Nobody will live our lives for us and we probably deserve it
it’s really been a long year.

It’s in the afternoon and we are absolutely dying here, meaning we

slept the entire day but it’s time for us to go back home because we still have
alot of explaining to do. To be honest I don’t like the fact that I didn’t see the
chocolate guy last night I was even prepared to confront him incase he pulls
another stunt but let me just let things be, I really have no reason to be
obsessing over him.

We get home and we are tired luckily my uncle hasn’t said anything so far
meaning its still safe.
Esihle, “what was wrong with you yesterday? Your mind was totally
somewhere else.” I didn’t think it was really that obvious but I have no choice
but to reply.
“I didn’t really want to go out yesterday but then I didn’t have a choice”. I
really hope I sound convincing. Akhona is now looking at me with a smile on

5
her face.
She asks,“ Are you sure it’s that because the way you were looking around it
seemed like you were looking for someone”. These girls can read me like a
book and it’s irritating sometimes.
“Come on guys I don’t even know anyone around here so who would I be
looking for exactly?”. Esihle and Akhona look at each other and smile.
Esihe,” We should be asking you that”. Lol these girls must just let me be.

It’s a Saturday so we definitely have plans, we are at UShaka beach and we are
still planning on how to spend the rest of the day.
Akhona,” So where are we going to tonight?”. It’s only fitting that she is the
first person to ask that question.
Esihle,” Kasi or Central?”.
“We can figure it out later but I prefer the burbs.”, I respond.
Akhona,” Alright then”.
“Is Tee game?”, Esihle.
“Narh she left for Joburg yesterday”, Akhona. That’s sad I really like her
company. As we are chilling at the beach looking at the eye candy it starts
raining, that means we have to go but it has been a great day.

Its lateish and we just arrived at some Lounge in Umhlanga and this place is
packed but luckily we find a place to sit. A couple of drinks later I’m on the
dance floor … yes me and no I am not wasted. There I was dancing my ass off
with Esihle and I must admit I am having a great time and I have really let
loose. On our way back from the dance floor I accidentally slip and my heel
breaks but luckily some guy catches me as I look up to see my superman, Ow
my word I can’t believe it. It’s him. It’s the hot chocolate guy.
“Are you ok?”, he seems concerned he probably thinks I have had one too
many drinks.
As I rise up from his arms I respond, “Yes I’m ok I just slipped but luckily you
catched me. My heel on the other hand isn’t.” He blushes and admittedly I’m
blushing too.
“I really am sorry, anything I can do to help?”

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“I’ll be fine, I have a pair of spare shoes in my bag.”, I say with a smile.
“Wow! What a beautiful smile you have, I didn’t think you had those after
rejecting me so rudely before”. Haibo nansi imihlola yami but ok its fine he is
forgiven because he just saved me from public embarrassment.
“Rudely? Well pardon me but I don’t fancy men who throw around money to
impress women… no wait let me rephrase that I mean to impress me. I just
found it disrespectful as if we couldn’t afford to pay for our bill”. He looks
amazed yet impressed.
“Damn! You are one feisty Lady I see but still rude because you haven’t
introduced to the lady you are with”. Lol Esihle! She’s been switching her eyes
between me and Mr Chocolate as we are talking but I’ve totally forgotten
about her.
“Sorry this is Esihle and Esihle this is Mr Rude guy who also hasn’t told me his
name” They both giggle at my silly remark.
He says, “My name is Lwandile, nice to meet you Esihle and your rude friend
also hasn’t introduced herself”. Lol ok now I see, calling each other rude is our
thang now.
I giggle then respond, “My name is Ntandokazi but just call me Ntando and
thank you once again for catching me Lwa”. The answer is yes, I just nicknamed
a stranger.
He looks at me with a smile on his face and says,” What a beautiful name but
really the pleasure is all mine.” Yeap definitely blushing again. They is silence
while we stare at each other for a while then Esihle disturbs the moment.
“Uhrmm Ntando its best we get going Akhona must be worried njengoba
singsabuyi.” She is right we’ve been gone for a while now but the Zulu King
right here doesn’t seem pleased.
“Uhrm I don’t mean to sound forward but can you guys please join me and my
friends I was still enjoying your company. Plus, I could use this opportunity to
apologise properly to you Ntando.” Weirdly I feel butterflies in my stomach.
Esihle and I exchange eye contact that’s our way of ‘reading’ each other’s
minds.
“We would love to, just follow us so we can go take our things and also inform

7
our other sister”, I respond. He looks so excited like a little kid that has been
given a candy.
“Haw guys I was starting to get worried ngibona anisabuyi”, Akhona.
“We are so sorry babes”, Esihle.
“Uhrm this is Lwandile and Lwa this is my sister Akhona”. The way Akhona is
scanning him ngathi she is about drool but I honestly don’t blame her this
guy is too fine.
“Nice to meet you Akhona you girls are all so beautiful.” We all smile and thank
him.
“Aren’t you the guy from Sun Coast?” He nods, she seems pleased.
“Akhona, Lwandile has asked us to join him and his friends are you ok with
that?” I ask.
She responds with a smile on her face, “If all of his friends look like him then
what are we still waiting for?’’. We all exchange a laugh and he is blushing like
hell, he looks so cute though. He takes our bags and instructs us to leave our
drinks he will replace them and then we follow him. They’re seated in the VIP
with their table loaded with booze of expensive brands so I assume that these
guys are financially well. Lwa then introduces us.
“Bolova, this Ntando and these are her sisters Esihle and Akhona.” His friend’s
eyes are fixed on me and Lwandile who are holding hands but really it’s
nothing he just did that so we don’t get lost in the crowd.
Then he continues, “Ladies these are my friends Shaka, Sthe, Bonga and
Zethu”. Gosh!!!!!!! These guys are proper, dress code on point and looks are
accurate but Lwa still has me mesmerised.
“It’s nice to meet you guys”, I say.
“The pleasure is all our’s ladies”, Shaka emphisizes. I can see Esihle and Shaka
smiling at each other. I can tell Zethu is the shy one amoungst all these guys
and Shaka is hella forward, he has this naughty boy look I can’t get over. We sit
down.
Lwandile asks, “So what are you Ladies drinking?”.
“We would like 2 bottles of Nectar Imperial Moet.”
“Only that?”. This time around he is talking to the Esihle and Akhona and not
me.

8
“Yes I think thats all we need for now”, Akhona responds.
“Do you guys drink Vodka?” Esihle nods. He calls the waiter then orders, “can I
please have 3 bottles of Moet Nectar Imperial, 2 bottles of Belvedere Vodka
and 6 cans of Red Bull” I’m shocked this is too much.
“LwAndile so how do you know these beautiful ladies”, Shaka says blinking at
Esihle. Iheeee this guy.
“Ntando is the feisty mean girl who I told you about but I guess today was my
lucky day because I got the chance to finally get her attention”. Everybody is
laughing right now and I’m super embarrassed I wasn’t that mean.
“Haw Ntando I thought women liked it when guys are ‘the perfect gentleman’
so why did you reject him?”, Sthe.
“Well it depends on what your definition of being a gentleman is, I took
offense to what he did I really wasn’t impressed”
“But Why?”, Bonga.
“Well because I’m one of those girls that appreciate actually being asked out
by someone. I’m not into these blesser stunts. What type of guy would offer to
pay for a stranger’s bill for nothing in return?”
“Who said it was going to be for nothing in return?”, Lwa. My facial expression
changes, this guy must not dare me.
Then he continues, “I would’ve impressed enough to get your numbers. I didn’t
mean to offend you I was just looking for a way to come introduce myself to
you, I was nervous and that’s the only thing I could think of. I’m sorry”. Lol
iheee the confidence on this man but its odd Him?? Nervous?? That I find hard
to believe, I know I don’t know the guy but Lwa has this strong intermidating
auora so it’s hard to believe.

Conversation is flowing on the table. Shaka and Esihle are now sitting together
and Akhona and Zethu just excused themselves. Stha and Bonga are flirting
with some skanks, I don’t like these girls they are your typical gold digger’s but
at least they are not going for Lwa. This guy is so all over me, I’m laying on his
arms and I’m feeling comfortable right now which is actually weird because he
is a stranger. Its getting late but I wish time could just stop and we could just
sit here and talk. I’m a bit drunk but I’m overdosed on Lwa and I am loving it.

9
Bonga and Sthe have left with their skanks probably to fuck them at some
hotel. Akhona and Zethu have just got back they are all over each other hayi ke
angsayikhulumi eka Shaka and Esihle they didn’t even notice that Zethu and
Akhona are back. They are lost in their own little bubble.
“Guys I think we should get going its almost sunrise”, I say. Lwandile looks a bit
down.
“Has my company been that bad?”
“No not at all but I’m feeling a bit tired and I think we all are so it’s time we
rest.”
“Yeah Akhona is right we should really get going”, Esihle seconds me. Yoh! Lord
knows we don’t want to leave but we have to. Lwandile, Shaka and Zethu
aren’t impressed at all.
Zethu then says,” Come on, can’t we just spend a little more time with you
guys? Anywhere, you guys can name the place and we will go there just please
don’t leave now”.
“Ok how about you guys drop us at home so we can change into something
more comfortable then we will take it from there?” Akhona saves the day. We
all agree on that. We leave with we our “partners” and head to the crib and
once we get there we slowly sneak in, we take quick baths. Ngeke phela we
can’t go to these potential Bae’s smelling like a brewery, It is 5am vele so its
time to smell fresh.
I wear a short, a white t-shirt and white All Star takkies then I grab a jean jacket
just in case we come back a bit later.
Lwandile calls, “Babe why are you guys taking so long?”. Did he just call me
babe? I feel a few butterflies in a stomach.
I then respond, “We are almost out, see you in a few”. I can’t wait to spend
time with Lwa. We get outside, these ‘Baes’ are standing outside of their cars
talking about
God only knows what, as we are about to cross the road they notice us and
they are distracted and they start staring at us. When we get to them Shaka is
the first one to comment.
“No wonder you took so much time benisacupha”. Lol this guy is so
forward, we all laugh.

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 Zethu says, “But you all look beautiful”. Nchoo Zethu seems so calm and sweet
I know he and Akhona will hit things off.
“So where to from now?”, Lwandile. Well we haven’t actually thought about
that but I think I speak for me and sisters when I say it actually doesn’t matter
as long as if we are with these guys.
“How about we go back to our places to also freshen up then we will meet up
at UShaka so we can have breakfast”, Shaka.
“Are you girls comfortable with that?”, Zethu.
“Its cool with me, what about you guys”, Akhona. Esihle and I nod our heads.
It’s weird how much we trust these guy for all we know they could be one of
those people hat kidnap girls and use them for human trafficking but right now
our minds aren’t there at all. I really wish to see these guy’s houses because
their cars are beautiful, Lwandile is driving a black Mercedes GLE Coupe, Zethu
drives a silvergrey Mercedes A-Class hatchback and Shaka drives a Red
Mercedes G- Wagon. I’m not impressed by materials but damn these cars are
goals.

We get to Lwandile’s place at Zimbali and I am impressed. This house is

beautiful the décor is just on point and it is neat and clean you can’t even tell
that it’s a guy’s house. “Uhrm Ntando make yourself at home I’ll be up stairs in
case you want to join me” he says with a wink. I know he is just messing
around.
“Who knows I probably will.” He giggle’s. He goes upstairs and I sit and watch
tv. A while later I decide to upstair s Lwandile has been there forever. I walk
into his room and he only has a towel on. Damn! On that sexy bare chest he
has a tattoo that spreads from the left side of his chest to his upper arm. I am
so mesmerised his is so dreamy.
‘’Sorry, I thought you were… uhrm … I’ll just .. uhrm … I’m sorry”. He laughs at
me, I’m so embarrassed right now I just wish the ground would just open up
and swallow me.
“I didn’t think I would ever see you speechless, its’s fine come in”.
Lord give me strength, this guys body is … Damn!!!!!!!
“I really didn’t mean to disturb you I just thought you’d be done”.
“Why are you standing at the door? Come here”, he says. Weeh Nkosi yami

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what is this guy doing to me? As I walk towards him I feel my knees getting
weak, my bean is twitching like it’s for the last time. My heart is skipping a
beat, I can’t breath. I stand at a safe distance then he pulls me to his chest. I
feel my heart melt, I don’t know why but I feel comfortable and safe plus I am
a medium height slender type of girl so I fit perfectly in his arms.
“Why is your heart beating so fast”, I ask.
“Because I am nervous”, he replies. I look at him with a lot of confusion on my
face.
“I know we just met and they is still probably a whole lot more to me that you
don’t know but I want you to give me a chance to know you better, I want
more than just one night with you. You told me you are an old school type of
girl so I don’t expect you to tell me you love me or anything like that but please
give me a chance to prove myself to you, that’s all I ask then you can make
your decision from there”. Wow! This guy I am totally blown away but he is
right they is a whole lot I don’t know about him yet, first of all I find it hard to
believe that this guy is single for all I know he could be married or maybe he
has a girlfriend. I don’t share at all. I can’t.
“Before we can talk about such I have to ask you something.”
“Anything.”
“Are you married? Or maybe do you have a girlfriend? Because I’m not one of
those girls who will play the happy side chick all in the name of “love” while
you go back to the loving arms of your wife and kids.” I know I might seem
forward but these are questions we as women should ask.
“This is what attracts me to you, you are feisty and you speak your own mind”.
I push him away and head to the door, I’m not impressed because he seems to
be avoiding my question. What if he really is married? I really like this guy but I
can’t be with an unfaithful man. He holds my hand before I could walk out.
“Akhona, why did you walk away we were still talking.”
“No! I asked you a question and you avoided answering it, so that does not
qualify as a proper conversation.”
“Ntandokazi I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, I don’t have a wife or a girlfriend or
kids.”
Ok now that’s a bit weird.

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“Are you gay?” He laughs at my question but I have to ask.
“Not even, I had a girlfriend but things didn’t work out”, I wonder what
happened but that is none of my business.
“I will think about what you said.” We share a hug and we have our little
moment.
“Aren’t you wondering if I have someone?”
“No, if you had somebody you loved I have a feeling you wouldn’t be here.”
That’s kinda true. The last relationship I had ended 6 months ago and after that
I really didn’t have time to entertain anyone because school got hectic.

Its 9:30am and we are on our way to Ushaka for breakfast with the rest of the
crew. I think I really am into this guy but only time will tell. We are in the car
and he keep’s stealing glances of me whenever he gets the chance.
“Yazi sizoshayisa(we will get into an accident), concentrate on the road.”
He smiles and says, “It’s not my fault, you are the one distracting me”. This
guy though, he has me smiling like crazy.
I respond, “I’m not even doing anything”.
“I hope you don’t take offense to this but you look more beautiful without
make up, it hides your natural glow.” I am a melanin girl with ‘flawless’ skin.
“I’ve been told, thank you”. As I’m still smiling I see his face change and then
he asks, “Told by who?”. Lol he is jealous. Men will always be men.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way Ncwane ayidle iyshiyele (I’m sorry)”. He
blushes, I’m guessing he didn’t expect me to be zulu like that.
We get to UShaka and we start walking to Moyo’s the gang said we would
meet them there. We get there and the waiter is taking their order.
“Finally! they show up I thought you guys decided to go on some baecation”.
Lol Shaka is something else, I am not even shocked he had something to say.
“This Queen had me under lock down she just wanted some us time”, Lwandile
says before winking at me. Well that’s not entirely true but I
would’ve liked to spend more time with him alone.
“Haibo Lwa, guys that’s not true Lwandile is a bit girly I have never met a guy
who takes so long to get ready”, I say defending myself. They all giggle.
As we have breakfast this guy can’t get his hands of me, he keeps holding my

13
hand and kissing it. I actually don’t mind it’s really cute. The guys start
talking about sports we are not interested so as the girls we start engaging in
our own conversation.
“So mntase awusho what were you and Lwa doing we’ve been waiting for you
guys”, Esihle. I can’t believe it they are giving me the naughty look.
“Come on you guy’s, scratch out whatever you are thinking LwAndile and I
haven’t even kissed”.
“We weren’t implying anything we are just wondering what you guys were
doing”, Akhona.
“Wait! You guys haven’t kissed?” Esihle asks in shock.
“Yes, why are you saying that as it it’s a bad thing?”
“I didn’t say it was but … you know”, Esihle. I must admit I’m also a bit shocked
that me and Lwandile haven’t kiss yet. I really can’t wait to lock lips with this
guy, he looks like a great kisser.
“No, I don’t. I was just waiting for him to get ready then we talked about a
potential us”, I respond.
“Mhm Mr Lwa wants to secure his place, but do you like him?” Akhona asks.
“Yes, I think I do but we just have to wait and see how the dices roll out.”
Ow shit my phone rings, it’s my uncle he hasn’t seen us from yesterday
morning when he went to work because yesterday when we came back from
the beach he still wasn’t there apparently he went out for dinner with his bae.
Ok let me answer.
“Mshana nikuphi?”, ok he doesn’t seem mad.
“We are at UShaka beach Malumz”. He then responds a slightly stricter voice,”
I am worried because you didn’t come back yesterday”. I thought as much,
yeah we were wrong by not informing him that we are back.
“No Malumz we came back at 12am and we woke up at around 6am to take a
jog at the Habour beach, sithe masibuya bungekho”, I try explaining … I mean
lying. With a much calmer voice he responds,” ohhh ok, no I forgot to tell you
guys that I’m going to Joburg to handle some business with your mum”
“Alright see when you come back”. I drop the call and everyone at the table is
looking at me. These girls are stressed.
Esihle then asks, “Are we in trouble?”.

14
“Luckily no, he was just worried about us. He says he is on his way to Joburg so
he will come back late”. A sign of relief from all of us.

It’s in the afternoon we are back home. It was so nice spending the day with
the Bae’s but they need to sleep so they can rest for tomorrow since it’s a work
day for them. It’s 4pm and we are cooking the they is a knock on the door. I
open the door then they is a delivery guy holding a red rose, a box of Ferero
Roche chocolates and a small card I assume it’s for Malumz girl since she is
here as well.
“Hello, excuse me I am looking for Ntandokazi Mthimkhulu”, The Delivery guy
says. Haibo me??!!!
“I am Ntandokazi, how may I help you?”, I respond.
“Please sign here these are for you.” I sign then the delivery guy leaves. I’m still
shocked. The girls scream as I approach the lounge.
“Are those from Lwandile?”, they say simultaneously. I open the card and it
reads:

“Hey Beautiful, I miss you so much. You maybe wondering why I’m giving you one red rose instead of a
bunch and it’s because I don’t want to make a bunch of promises that I won’t be able to keep but I
want to make one that will bind me. I want to love you and protect you for as long as I have the
chance, I want to call you mine”.

As I am still astonished by this he calls.

“Babe did you get the rose?” I can’t even respond, I am absolutely frozen.
“Babe can you hear me?”, he repeats. Instead of being happy I can’t help but
feel a bit down, I for one have never had luck in relationships so I don’t know if
the best thing for me to do would be to get into relationship I might not be
ready for.
“I’m here, Lwandile why did you do this?’’. I can sense his excitement turn into
sadness.
“Uhrm If you don’t like it, it’s fine. I’m sorry I didn’t want it to seem like I’m
rushing things”. Esihle and Akhona are confused as to why I’m being like this.
“I will call back in few”, and I drop the call without even listening to what he

15
might have to say. Moments later he sends me a text, “I’m on my way there”. Ow
shit he can’t be, its really unecessary.
I reply, “They is no need I am ok”.
“I wasn’t asking for your permission Ntandokazi, I’m almost there, see you in a few”. Ok now I
have no choice but to face him.
These girls here are really worried Akhona asks,” Whats wrong? Did Lwandile
do anything wrong?”.
Esihle follows up by saying, “Yini mntase? We hate seeing you like this.”
“I feel like what I am doing is wrong, I might not be ready for a relationship.
Well I’m not the luckiest person when it comes to relationships, I don’t think I
can give Lwa what he wants.”
“Mntase you need to understand that Lwandile is Lwandile, stop comparing
him to your exes. He really is in to you. Just don’t worry too much and let
things happen on their own. If Lwandile hurts you we have no choice but to kill
him”, Esihle. We laugh our asses of but yeah she is right Lwa is Lwa, the biggest
mistake I could ever make is not giving us a try just because of the shit I have
been through. In that moment I get a call from Lwa.
“Babe I’m outside”. Now I have to face him.

“Babe please talk to me, what did I do that’s wrong?” Lwandile.

“I don’t know if I am ready for a relationship and you seem too good to be true
and at the end of it all I don’t want to give myself over to you only for you to
break my heart”. He looks at me and smiles.
“Babe I’m not perfect I’m very flawed, actually I’m too flawed but I will do
anything in my powers to keep you happy. I know this might seem weird but
my heart chooses you so I really want to see where this will take us. I promise
you, I’m worth the risk”. I also believe that he is worth it.
Then he continues, “I just need a chance”. He kisses my forehead then he holds
me to his chest. I smile at him.
“Lwa you should get going it’s a Monday tomorrow”. He looks at my with sad
face, he looks so cute.
“I know but I just want to be here with you”. As I try to argue with him on that
his kisses me. FINALLY! Gosh I feel my blood boiling, he is such a good kisser.
We start to breath heavily. If I could I would turn this back seat into a bloody

16
porn room but we both know we can can’t. I pull back.
“Why did you pull back I was still enjoying that”, Lwandile
“I was too, but I was getting heated I need to cool down”. He laughs.
“I was too.”
“Can I ask you a question?”, I say laying on his chest.
“Sure My Queen ask anything”.
“Yesterday when I fell and you caught me where were you heading to?
because the entrance to where you guys were sitting was behind you and the
toilets and bar where also not in that direction and you certainly don’t strike
me as a dancer so?”. I know this is stupid question but I really must know. He
laughs.
“I’m offended that you don’t think I can dance I am from Durban after all but
you are right I’m not the vuliCircle type of guy”. Exactly what I thought.
“To be honest, I was coming to you, I saw you when when you were heading
to the dance floor with Esihle and I wanted to come to you right then
but I didn’t want to disturb plus I was still gathering the courage to face you. So
when I saw you leave the dance floor I wanted to get to you before you got to
your table kanti vele it’s my lucky day”. Lol him nervous? That’s really unlike
him, he seems like type of guy who isn’t scared of anything.
“Now can I ask you something?”, he says.
“Yes”.
“Do you think I have a shot at winning you over?”
“You might of already have.” He looks at me with an excited yet confused face.
“What does that mean?”
“It means we can see where this will take us.” He looks excited.
“So usungowami?”
“Yes Mr Zungu.” He kisses me passionately. I tell you my bean is about to have
fit. In that lustful moment my phones rings, its Akhona so I ignore it. I lay my
head of Lwa’s chest.
“I have to leave babe”, Lwa says.
“I know.”
“But I will make time to see you tomorrow.”
“Promise?”. Lol this feels like Primary School love.
“I promise.” We exchange a kiss then part ways.

17
 Chapter 2

I couldn’t see my Zulu King monday and yesterday because work had the best
of him but he sent me a huge bunch of beautiful roses and a Teddy bear. He
said that the teddy bear is the only thing I am allowed to cuddle with when he
is not around. He is silly and sweet like that, that’s why I miss him so much.
Today we are moving to The Sails hotel, my Aunt (Akhona’s mum) has an
apartment there and she said we could go there if we want to since she is
going to be out of country. We didn’t think twice we are so happy, we woke up
first thing this morning and we asked Malumz to take us there.

It’s midday and we are sipping on some glass of champagne. But I’m not as
happy as I should be, my Zulu King hasn’t said anything all day and I’m upset.
He assured me that I would see him in the afternoon. But anyways it’s fine I
need to contain myself. Let me just send him a text: “I will be staying at The Sails Hotel
for the rest of the week. Work hard and stay focused”. He then replies: “See you later Love, still
at a meeting”
“Guys lets go out for a couple of drinks by the beach”. The Sails is right next
door to UShaka Marine World so it makes like easier.
“I can’t guys I’m going out for lunch with Shaka”, Esihle. I am not neccesarily
shocked, they have been seeing each almost every hour since they met.
“Thatha girliza, ok what about you Akhona?”
“We can go there but by 5pm I have to be back, Zethu is taking me out for
dinner”, she responds. Damn am I the only one who doesn’t have a date today.
Ya neh for sure today I am going to be lonely as fuck.

We are at UShaka having a few cocktails at Moyo’s with Akhona but she has
been texting Zethu since we got here. I’m hella bored. It’s around 4pm and
Akhona is on the phone with Zethu, there’s this guy here who keeps looking at
me and he is hella cute. He is a bit tall, light skinned and he has this huge
tattoo on his arm. I must admit I have a thing for guys with tattoos, I find them
sexy. He finally decides to come over.
“Hello Ladies, I’m Tuelo can I join you guys?”
I respond, “Yes you may.”

18
“I’m Tuelo by the way.”
“I’m Akhona and this is my sister Akhona.”
“Nice to meet you guys”, Tuelo.
“Nice to meet you too Tuelo. Akhona I have to go get ready are you staying
or…?” Ow yeah I almost about that.
“I will stay behind, Enjoy!”. I don’t want to go back to the apartment and sit
alone whereas I now have company here.
“Alright that just leaves me with you then Akhona”, Tuelo says with a smile on
his face.
“I guess it does”, I say. Tuelo and I hit it off. They is little bit of innocent flirting
going on. I must admit I’m enjoying his company. It starts to get late and I have
to get going.
“Tuelo I have to go.”
“Do you live with nearby?”.
“Yes, just 5 minutes away.”
“Can I walk you, I am in no rush anyway”. That means more time to talk with
this Tswana eyecandy so I don’t mind. We continue our coverstion and before I
even notice we are a building away from my place.
“So that’s my place, so where are you staying?”, I ask.
“The Hilton Hotel”.
“So what are you going to go with?”, I ask with a worried face.
I’ve requested an Uber because me and my friends came with one car here to
the beach and they left while I was still talking to you.”. He holds my hand and
as we exchange eye contact, my phone rings and its a call from Bae. I can’t
answer this call while I’m with Tuelo so I ignore the call and put my phone on
silent.
“So, when will I see you again?”, Tuelo asks. I’m blushing I can’t help it.
“Well you tell me.” He giggles. He is cute. He pulls me towards him for a hug.
Just as I was about to pull away I feel someone dragging me so roughly away
from Tuelo. Ow my word I can’t believe, its Lwandile. He is fuming mad and he
is beating up Tuelo mercilessly. I’ve never seen him like this, I never thought he
could be like this.
I scream out, “Baby please, it’s not what you think please leave him alone”. He

19
is not hearing a word I’m saying but I can’t let him beat up this guy. He is
causing a scene, everybody is watching as this drama plays out and I can’t take
it anymore. I pull Tuelo and stand in front of him. Then he punches me. Damn!
It hurts I start bleeding through my nose, maybe I deserve this.
“Akhona get in the fucking car, do you see what you just made me do?”, he
says with a firm voice. I ignore him and turn to the badly bruised and bleeding
Tuelo.
“I’m sorry about this, it’s all my fault”. Poor guy he can’t even talk. Lwandile
gets even more pissed as I show sentimental care. My nose is now bleeding
badly, I’m covered in Tuelo’s blood and mines as well.
Lwandile shouts out,” Ntandokazi ngisacela uyekele ukunginyanyisa (stop
annoying me) and GET IN THE FUCKEN CAR SO I CAN GET YOU TO A FUCKEN
DOCTER”. He must be crazy if he thinks I am going anywhere with him.
“What about Tuelo? I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!YOU ARE A JERK!!” He
pulls me away from Tuelo and carries me to the car.
“PUT ME DOWN!!!” I’m screaming and fighting to go back to Tuelo. Its my fault
that he is laying on the floor bleeding. He locks the car and drives off. I am so
mad at him right now, how could he do such a thing.

He pulls off at Addington Hospital and I get quick Medical attention. I don’t
know what Lwandile does for a living but he seems to be a very influential
man. He gets everything he wants, when he wants it. Lwandile and I still
haven’t said a word to each other but the docter has stopped the bleeding I
got an injection and a couple of pills for the pain and headache. My mind is still
on what happened and tomorrow I will be on a hunt to find Tuelo I won’t be at
peace if I don’t. We leave the hospital and I don’t know where we are heading
to but he is definitely not taking me back to the apartment. If he expects me
say anything then he has another thing coming but I am not sleeping next to
him today. It is awkward in the car, things have never been this tense between
us. After I get a call from Esihle.
“Mntase please come open the door for me”. Eish I completely fogot about
her, only me and Akhona have the key, and its 9pm so now I dont have a
choice but I have to speak to this jerk. I clear my throat to get his attention.

20
“Lwandile I need to go back home, Esihle needs the key and I don’t know when
Akhona will back with the other key”.
He looks me and then he says, “You are spending the night with me tonight,
give me the phone let me talk to her”. I’m absolutely astonished, he has got to
be kidding me.
I respond in utter shock, “Angzwanga (Pardon)? That won’t happen”. He stops
the car on the side way.
“Lalela la weNtandokazi I wasn’t asking you, I was telling you! Now give me the
phone.” I give him the phone.
“Hey Esihle, this is Lwandile can I please speak to Shaka…” He then continues,
“Akhona will spend the night with me and you take care of Esihle.” He then
drops the call, cabanga kwi phone yami.

We get to Umhlanga at this beautiful house I don’t know. He parks the car in
the garage along side a Dark Navy Mercede G-Wagon and a white Mercedes
SL. Damn! These cars are so beautiful I can’t help myself but I must ask,
“Whose cars are these and where are we?’’. He responds in a depressed tone,
“Mine … ours.” Ok now that really cut deep. We walk into the house and it’s
more beautiful than the one in Zimbali and it has more of a homey feel then
the other one.
‘‘Beautiful house”, I say. I’m really trying to cut the ice but my King is in
between being mad and sad. I don’t blame him but it’s not what he think it is.
He just gives me a little smile then his face is once again inflicted with worry.
I’ve been so angry and blinded about what happened today I forgot to consider
his feelings. He looks so broken it cuts my heart I can’t stand it.
“Are you hungry”, He asks.
“No, I’m ok. Lwandile can we talk please”. He looks away then heads to the
stairs.
“Not today Ntando, I’m off to bed”. Ouch! That hurts. This is a mess I have to
fix.

It’s in the morning and as I wake I find myself in bed with LwAndile. Last I
remember I fell asleep on the couch because I was too afraid to share the bed

21
with Lwandile, after what he did yesterday I’m still a bit scared of him.
As I’m still looking around confused he says,” You fell asleep on the couch, I
carried you to bed”. That’s so sweet of him, he really does care.
“Well you should’ve just left me on the couch”, I respond.
He looks at me and says, “I would’ve but you were shaking and you kept
making sounds I assumed you were in pain so I had to make sure you get
warm”. I can’t believe he just said that but this has to stop, I miss Bae Lwa I’m
tired of this cold treatment.
“Sthandwa sami ngisacela sikhulume (My love can we please talk)”
“Ntandokazi they is nothing to talk about, ungiphoxile (you disappointed me).
How Could you do that to me knowing damn well how I feel about you. I get
caught up with work 3 lousy days and you cheat on me.” I didn’t even do
anything with Tuelo.
He then continues, “kahle kahle ungenwe yini? This does not seem like you, I
refuse to believe this is the Ntandokazi I have fallen for.”
“Sthandwa Sami ngicela ungixolele (please forgive me), but I swear nothing
happened between us. Ayidle iyshiyele Manzini.”
“It didn’t seem that way Ntandokazi.”
“But really isn’t what you think it is. I met Tuelo when I was out for drinks. I
was a bit lonely with the girls and you not having any time for me lately. He
just kept me company and walked me to hotel.”
“I’m sorry for punching you, you got in the way it was a mistake. I just lost
myself when I saw you with another man. I felt like a huge knife has cut
through my heart.” I knew Lwandile had feelings for me but I didn’t realise
they were this strong. It kinda seems like I’m a bit forgiven but I need to do a
whole lot until he fully forgives me.
“Baby aren’t you going to work”, I ask in confusion because it’s just after 8am
and he is still in bed.
“Ntandokazi why didn’t you tell me you felt like I was neglecting you?”. Damn
kusashubile la, he is still calling me by my first name.
“We’ve only been been only dating for a week so a part of me thought that it’s
still too early to start talking about such. I didn’t think it would turn to such a
huge mess”.

22
“So you ignored my phone calls just because you were with him”. I really don’t
know how to answer this one. I am lost for words but I deserve it. God blesses
me with a good man and I shit on my blessings. I feel so bad, I can barely look
at him in the eye. But I have to respond.
“It didn’t feel right to answer the phone knowing I was with him but I am very
sorry.” He is still unpleasant, now he looks more mad than sad and it scares the
living shit out of me.
“Sthandwa sami ngyaxolisa”, I say to the mad man before me. He gets out of
bed and goes to the balcony and he just stands there. What do I do
now? Do I follow him? Do I wait for him to come back? … Let me just make
breakfast, they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
“I will just let you be alone for a while”, I say as I am about to leave the room.
He says nothing.

I am in the kitchen and this kitchen is huge. I don’t know where anything is,
this is going to be a hassel. As I’m standing on the stove I feel somebody hug
me from the back. For a moment there we both don’t say anything. I’m still
enjoying his touch, talking just ruins everything.
“Ntando please don’t ever do this to me again.”
“I promise I won’t, ngyaxolisa ngampela Gwabini”. He smiles. It seems like
everytime I call him by his clan names it touches his soft spot, I guess that will
be my shield when everything turns south.

Breakfast is ready, Bae Lwa helped me now we are eating.

“Babe aren’t you going to work today?”, I ask looking at the time and it
10:30am. Lol this guy is digging in, he is not even listening to me.
“Haw Lwandile!”, I say with a firm voice.
“Eish Sthandwa ngyaxolisa koda wena awazi yini ukuthi indoda ayiphazamiswa
midla (you don’t disturb a man when he is eating). No, I’m not going to work
today, I will spend time with you”. Ok now I am feeling special. He took a day
off for me.
“Speaking about work. What kind of job do you do?”. Its about time that I
know. He is laughing at me, and I’m a bit annoyed because I don’t find what I

23
said funny.
“Babe, you don’t make the money that I make by working for someone. I am
my own boss.” Ok he is acting cocky but that makes a lot of sense. I’m still
looking at him meaning I want more information, so he continues,” I have a
property developing company and I am in charge for student housing here, in
Cape Town and in Johannesburg. I co-own a logistics company with Shaka and
Zethu and I own 4 5-star Hotels, 1 in Joburg, 1 here in Durban and 2 in Cape
Town. Those are my main sources of income, then a few investments here and
there”. I am shocked, how old is this guy kanti? But he looks so young, he looks
25ish.
“Wooo wait exactly how old are you? You achieved so much.”
“Yoh Babe I am way much older than you think, I’m probably decades older
than you.” Ok now I’m worried, not that age is a determining factor in my
relationships but I can’t date a Mkhulu.
“I’m 28 years old and you are probably 20 or 21” He over-exgerrates he is not
thaaaaat old. He is 8 years older then me.
“You are still young but your achievements say something else. Inheritence?”
“No I worked my way from the bottom. Thank you babe, but this is nothing
with you by my side I’m sure I will dig up more fortunes, you are my lucky
charm”. Nchooo that is so sweet of him. As we are still lost in each other’s
eyes, my phone ring. Its Akhona video calling me, I totally forgot about my
sisters but they will have to forgive me they was trouble in paradise. I answer.
“Hey Babes, where are you?”.
“I’m ok, I spent the night with Zethu but I’m worried about you, Esihle told me
that that something happened between you and Lwandile. Whats up?”, she
really does look worried.
“Its water under the bridge now, we are ok now.”
“Iheeee babes this only means you got that dickmentation last night, you are
even glowing, you look so happy. Thatha girl. Wooo ayy I hope he gives you the
right shandis all the time if it makes you look like this”, I can’t believe Akhona
just said that with Lwa next to me. I am so embarrassed right now lapho this
girl is laughing at me like there is no tomorrow and Lwa is also laughing his ass
off right now, then he shouts out, “Hey Akhona”.

24
She freezes and says, “Ow my word did Lwandile hear all of that?’’. I nod in
shame.
She then says, “I’m sorry Ntando, I had no idea. Say hy to Sbali for me, I gotta
bounce. I love you”. How could she, I can’t even look at Lwandile right now. He
is still laughing at me.
“Babe don’t be embarrassed, these are the things girls talk about when guy
aren’t around I understand”, Lwa says trying to hold back his laugh.
“I know but you guys are never supposed to hear that”.
“Relax babe, go take a bath, I’m going to go to the Mall to get you something
to wear, do you want anything specific?” Lwa really has nice taste, he dresses
really well.
“No baby anything will do”, I respond.

I’m done bathing and I am waiting for Lwandile. As I was cleaning and tidying
up his room, I picked up the shirt he was wearing yesterday that is full of
blood. I can’t help but wonder if the poor guy got any medical attention. I have
to call him. The phone is ringing.
He answers, “Hey Ntando, I never thought I would ever hear from you again”.
At least he is not mad.
“Tuelo where are you? I’m so sorry about what happened yesterday. I feel
terrible”. I hear a huge sigh from him.
“Its fine Akhona it wasn’t your fault, I just feel bad that you ended up getting
hurt. I know we don’t know each other well but stay away from that guy of
yours, he has a bad aura and he is not good for you. What kind of guy hits his
girl. Take my Advice or don’t take it but I am warning you”. Haibo who does
this guy think he is to tell me I should stay away from my Bae, he must not
even dare to test me.
“Tuelo where are you? so I can come see you’’, I say trying to ignore what he
just said.
“I’m at Addington Hospital, I saw you when you left with your boyfriend but I
would really appreciate it if you didn’t come. I don’t want any more trouble.
Bye Ntando”. Ok maybe I deserve that but I will go there either way, I need to
apologize to him properly.

25
Lwandile and I are on our way to Port Shepstone but I don’t know where we
are going. We are looking so cute, I must admit my lover has an amazing
fashion sense, he bought me a nice and short summer dress and sandals and
he is wearing navy shorts, white All stars and a white t-shirt. I must admit the
way his t-shirt fits him so nicey, his muscles are exposed just the right way and
his tattoo is showing. Damn this brother is fine and he is all mine.

We get to Shelly beach, I’ve been here before it was some time last year. This
beach is so beautiful, the scenary is out of this out of this world. I love this
place but I don’t know what we are doing here.
“Babe we are here, I need to blind fold you”, LwAndile says looking excited.
“Blind fold me?”, I say looking at him in confusion.
“Yes babe, please’’, he says in excitement. I have no idea what is going on but
I’m feeling a bit anxious. We walk out of the car and he blind folds me then
pulls my hand to follow him.
“Ok babe, now you can open your eyes”, Lwandile. Wow, I am breath taken. I
don’t know what to say, a beach picnic. Just for the two of us. The setting looks
so beautiful but when did he get the time the time to do all this. I am
absolutely frozen. I’m just standing there with my jaw dropped.
“Babe please say something.”
‘’Baby this is beautiful I love it, thank you so much”, I say as I jump to hug him. I
couldn’t help it but I’m crying. I’m basically a cry baby, when I’m too happy I
cry, when I am sad I cry, when I’m angry I cry basically every aspect of my life
involves tears.
“Babe no tears come on”, Him. Yoh this guy is just so amazing. I feel terrible for
making him feel like I was even the slightest interested in someone else the
way I am into him. He wipes my tears and hugs me again then a kiss on my
forehead follows. We sit down on the scatter pillows.
“Baby what made you think about all of this”, I really am curious.
“Well I called your sisters while I was at the mall and I asked them, what
romantic thing can I do. They both said the same thing about you, that you are
a girl that is impressed by simple things. I’m not used to that so I called my
female friend, her name is Mbali and she suggested all of this so I had to pull

26
few strings and get people to organise this for us”. I feel a streak of jealousy
but I can’t let it ruin this.
“I really am impressed baby thank you so much, this means the world to me.” I
am really happy with my Zulu King. He is definitely the one for me, they is no
other.

The day goes by, the picnic is so romantic. LwAndile is sleeping on my lap and
we keep feeding each other. I’m thinking to myself that if this is a dream I hope
I never wake up from it, so far this guy is everything that I need. I get up, lay his
head on the pillow and I spread my legs to sit on his waist.
“Babe what are you doing?”, he asks as I kiss his neck.
“Baby just let me be, stop acting as if you don’t like it”, I say to him while
unzipping his pants. I’m feeling a bit freaky and naughty I must admit.
“Babe we are in public please stop”, he says with a naughty smile on his face.
“Then let’s leave”, I whisper in his ear. He gets up as if something just bit him.
We pack everything and then he carries me to the car.
I am so happy right now, absolutely nothing can ruin this for me.
“Baby where are we going”, I ask.
“I have a place around here”. Haibo kanti how many houses does this guy
have? What does he do will all of these houses. I am yet to find out. We get to
the house and we are kissing, he carries me to the bedroom. I have taken his
shirt off. He kisses my neck and he pulls down the top part of my dress then he
starts kissing my breast, I feel like I am about to have a fit. I am soaking wet
and then he stops and he says,” I want to make love to you so bad but the
timing is not right yet”. What???????? I am in no rush but damn what he just
did is wrong.
“Wow ok it’s fine Lwandile”, I am not impressed that’s for sure.
“I’m sorry babe but I don’t want to rush things with you, I want us to take our
time. I want us to be fully open with each other when we have sex and that
hasn’t happened yet.”
“Why can’t we open up now?”
“With me babe theres a lot you are going to have to process because after all
of it I’m not yet certain you’d still want to be a part of my life.”, I’m a bit

27
concerned.
“You are worrying me.”
“Don’t worry babe, you will know when the time is right for now let’s just
enjoy each other’s company”. He is right I don’t want to ruin today.

Its 6pm and it seems like we will be sleeping here. I have to text the girls and
tell them. I send a text to Esihle: “Mntase, I will be sleeping at Lwa’s place today. See you
guys tomorrow, I love you to bits”. She then replies: “Iheee thatha girl. Enjoy yourself.”
As I look up I see Lwa leaning against the wall just staring at me with a smile on
his face.
“So what are we going to have for supper?” he asks.
“Let me go cook.”
“Babe they is no food in this house, I hardly stay here. How about we order
pizza, wing, ribs and anything else you like”
“Ow yesss baby, you had me at pizza”. He kisses my forehead. I like that.

After stuffing our faces with food. Lwa and I are cuddling in bed. I’m loving this,
I almost ruined a good thing.
“Babe, I think I am starting to fall in love with you”. Ok I did not expect him to
say that, I’m a bit shocked. I sit and look at him, he can tell I’m surprised.
Then he says, “I don’t expect you to feel the same way now, I know its still a
bit too early but I just wanted you to know that you have a big place in my
heart”. Wow this guy just continues to surprise me.
“I’m starting to fall for you too Lwa”, I say as I lay a kiss on his lips. It really is
true I’m starting to fall for this guy but I’m just really glad he feels the same
way too. Just as we are cuddling we hear someone banging on the door down
stairs. This place is a bachelor apartment so it’s not as big as the other houses.
We try ignoring it but it continues along with a loud scream,
“LWANDILE!! OPEN THE DOOR… I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE, OPEN THE
FUCKEN DOOR”. It’s definitely a woman at the door. Lwandile is shocked. He
goes down stairs and I stay in bed. Moments later this womans screams are
louder I assume she is in the house.
“WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS THE TRAMP YOU BROUGHT HERE”, she screams

28
out. Hayi ke this finalizes it, who exactly is she calling a tramp. I’m going down
stairs.
Lwandile says in anger,” Yeyi wena mfazi! Get out of my house and don’t you
ever disrespect my woman like that”.
“Baby, whats going on?” I ask as I approach them.
“BABE GO UPSTAIRS I WILL HANDLE THIS”, Lwandile shouts at me. But why the
fuck is he shouting at me for, when he speaks to her koda he doesn’t shout.
“Ow so you are the tramp sleeping with my man? Don’t you have any morals
or dignity? Noma vele wakhuliswa isisfebe (You were raised by a bitch.)” Uhrm
did a stranger just insult my mother, I can handle it when people disrespect me
but not when they disrespect my mum or anyone in I care about I completely
lose my mind. Without thinking it things through I slap her and Lwandile holds
her back when she tries to retaliate.
“Lalela la weSisi, it’s your man that came to me and not the other way around.
Ubona mina as someone who has no dignity but look at yourself. The very man
you are fighting is throwing you out so kahle kahle what are you fighting for?
You are embarrassing yourself and you look like a fool koda yazini you can have
him. But don’t you ever disrespect my mum ever again because you don’t
know me or her otherwise you will get more than just a slap from me”, I say. I
run upstairs angry and in tears.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE ZAMA, SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID. LEAVE ME ALONE
AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, I HAVE AS WELL”, Lwa says shouting his lungs
out. Ow now things make sense this must be the ex he said things didn’t end
well with but I won’t forgive him for this, at least not yet. I feel like a fool and I
am super mad, why did he even let her in? Nxx I am definitely not spending the
night here. I hear him bang the door, that means he finally got rid of the witch
that was here. I take out his t-shirt that I was sleeping in and wear the outfit I
was wearing earlier and I take my bag. I meet him on the staircase, he looks
furious. Well I don’t care but I want to go.
“Please take me back home”, I say with tears in my eyes.
“You are not going anywhere”. I’m not taking this from Lwa today because I am
not in the mood.
“Fine then I will call an uber”. His face intantly changes and he is worried now, I

29
think he realizes I’m serious. I hate seeing him like this but hey I’m not to be
blamed.
“Babe please calm down, let’s talk about this first. If you don’t want to sleep in
the same bed as me its fine I will sleep on the couch but please just don’t
leave”. I can’t believe I am falling for this but I really care about him. I sit down
on the stairs.
“How could you? I asked you before this whole thing started if you have a
girlfriend and you said no but now they are women (exaggeration is a black
people thing) waking us up at 11pm, calling me degrading names”. I’m getting
mad all over again.
I continue, “How dare you? How dare you tell me bull that you are starting
to fall for me kanti you are planning for your girlfriend to come attack me”, I
start crying, I really am hurt. He is shattered he can barely even look at me.
“Babe, I didn’t plan anything and I meant every word I said to you. That girl
who barged in here is a girl from my past, if you can recall your memory I told
you that the last relationship I was in didn’t end well. I don’t know who told
her about you or how she knew that we were here but this will never happen
again. You have my word”. He looks so sincere, I feel like I can trust him. This
was just a stumbling block, naye he was able to forgive me about the Tuelo
thing.
“Do, you promise?”, I ask him with tears in my eyes.
He then wipes them off and answers, “Sthandwa Sami, I promise. I’m sorry for
hurting you like this”. I can’t believe that so early in our relationship yet they
has been so much drama, maybe Tuelo was right they is a whole lot more to
come between me and Lwa. But I am willing to withstand it all, uManzini lo
ungowami (He is mine).

It’s in the morning, I’m back at the hotel with the girls. Bae Lwa didn’t want us
to leave but he had an early meeting with an important client so he couldn’t
cancel but he promised that he will see me later. I can’t wait, when I’m with
him I feel like I’m in another planet. These girls are so happy to see me, you’d
swear I’ve been gone for a week.
“Haibo babes details, details, details. You go MIA for 2 whole days with

30
Lwandile and you come back glowing like never before, was it that good?”
Akhona.
“Well guys a lot has happened pour me a glass of champagne and let me tell
you guys what happened”. These girls are still in pj’s and they haven’t even had
breakfast but we are now sipping on some alcohol. They give me a glass and I
tell them about the Tuelo issue, right to the Zama issue. They are jaw dropped
they can’t believe so much has transpired between me and Lwa.
“Hawe ma mntase, manje ukuphi uTuelo?”, Esihle says looking worried.
“I think he is still in hospital or he is either at the hotel he booked in but I will
look for him until I find him. What happened that day still haunts me, I will
never be at peace with myself if I don’t”. These girls are looking angry, kanti
what did I say that’s wrong,
“Cha Ntandokazi you must’ve lost your mind, clearly when Lwa hit you your
brain shifted. Why do you want to do that when your boyfriend almost killed
the poor guy.” Esihle is being paranoid Lwa won’t find out about this.
“Ntando you better listen to Esihle stay away from him, this will only cause
more problems”, Akhona.
“Guys nothing you say will change my mind, I’m going to see Tuelo. End Of
story”, Ngeke ngizwe ngabo I will never forgive myself if I don’t at least try.
“Yasuka ke inkathazo (troubles begin)”, Esihle says throwing he hands in the
air.

It’s midday and I’m walk in Addington Hospital. This place will forever bring
bad memories to me. As I’m about to speak to the nurse at reception my
phone rings, eish it’s my Zulu King. I can’t answer his call, I will sound too guilty
let me just send him a text: “Love, I’m still on the phone with mum. Call you when I’m done.”
What a lie but it’s for the best, my King would be torn apart or better yet let
me say he would tear me apart if he found out I was here looking for Tuelo. He
replies: “Ok babe, text when you are done. I miss your beautiful voice”. Wooo he bought it,
good for me. I can’t have a repeat of the drama that happened the other day.

The nurse shows me Tuelo’s ward. He’s sleeping but he looks a whole lot
better than when I last saw him, he looks like his normal cute self again. I

31
bought him goodies as an I’m sorry offering, I know it’s not enough but it’s a
start. “Tuelo wake up”, I say touching his arm. He wakes up but he doesn’t
seem pleased.
“Ntando, what are you doing here? I don’t want any trouble, please leave”. Ok
maybe I deserve that.
“Tuelo please give me 5 minutes of your time. I’m not here to cause you more
troubles then I’ve already caused “, I really mean it.
“You have 5 minutes Akhona”, he says looking at his watch.
“Tuelo I am so sorry about what happened, I had absolutely no idea that
Lwandile would even show up. I feel like it’s all my fault because I couldn’t
protect you from my boyfriend’s rage. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive
me because that day still taunts me. I’m sorry for ruining your holiday. I hope
you get well soon and take care of yourself. Ow and thank you for not laying
charges on him.”, he looks touched by what I said. I feel a bit relieved by that,
it’s something.
As I walk away he says, “Akhona wait! You shouldn’t be apologizing for your
boyfriends mistakes he is a pig and he doesn’t deserve you”. Here we go again.
He continues,” You deserve to be with a real man not him. But thanks for
coming and apologizing, it means a lot. Ow and just so you know the only
reason why I didn’t lay charges on your bastard boyfriend is because of you”.
It’s time for a change of topic.
“I bought you these”, I show him the basket full of goodies.
“Thank you, you are such a good woman I wonder how you ended up with a
guy like that dog”. Ok I know he will never forgive Lwandile but enough is
enough he can’t speak about him like that, I can’t stand it anymore.
“Tuelo! His name is LwAndile and I would really appreciate it if you stopped
calling him demeaning names for my sake. I didn’t come all this way for this.”
“I’m sorry but I will never forget what that do... I mean what LwAndile did to
me”. I thought as much, I’m not even slightly shocked.
“I have to go, take care. I will call you later to check up on you. Enjoy the
goodies”. I’m glad I went to see Tuelo today, I am at peace with my heart. I
hope my King doesn’t find out about this otherwise I am ruined. I don’t want to
have to fight with him anytime soon, I’m afraid of him when he is mad he looks

32
like he is ready to kill someone. It’s scary.
I’m in the taxi going back to the hotel then my phone rings. Yeap its Bae alright
but can’t talk to him now it too noisy in the taxi and I’m not ready to answer
his “Where are you?’’ questions I will call him when I get home. I decided to
drop off at uShaka so that I can just go to the beach and have some
undisturbed me time. I’m sitting on the pier at Moyo’s drinking some sprite
(for a change) and indulging on my sweet ribs when I decide to take out my
phone. I call Lwa back but he doesn’t answer. I know he might be a bit upset
since I didn’t answer his call.

Its 8pm and I’m still at Moyo’s. I made a couple of friends here and now we are
drinking and enjoying our time. My phone has finally switched off but Lwa
hasn’t called me. I’m starting to think this has more to do then just me not
answering his call. I just hope these girls didn’t tell Lwa about me going to see
Tuelo otherwise they will be a war between us.

It’s 10pm, the restaurant is closing and I am kak drunk. My new friends drop
me off at my place and then leave.
As I walk up the stairs about to enter the hotel, I hear a familiar voice call out,
“Ntando!”. As I turn around I see Shaka, I walk towards him, he looks worried.
“Ntando where are you coming from? Your sisters are worried sick about you
and your phone is off. Angisayikhulumi ke eka Lwandile he is fuming mad”
“Shaka thanks for caring but as you can see I’m fine. I am not a baby I can take
care of myself”. I walk away while he was still taking but he follows me
because he can see that I’m sloshed.

We enter the apartment and Shaka is carrying me. I vomited before I even got
to the elevator and I found myself feeling more drunk that I could barely even
walk properly.
The girls run to us and they hug me and say, “Ntando where were you? We
were worried sick about and wena you come back smelling and even looking
like a tarven”. I am out of it and I’m in no mood to be arguing or answering
anyone’s questions.

33
“Please … bed” I can’t even speak properly. They carry me to bed and I doze
off.

It’s midday, I can’t believe I slept that long. It’s quiet I wonder where these girls
are, I pick up my phone then I find a text from Esihle: “Out with the Bae’s, see you
later”. Great, I’m alone … again. I open my phone and I find a few texts from Lwa
and they are not pleasent. From what I read Lwa has concluded I was with
another guy because according to his logic that is the only reason why I was
acting up. I try to call him, he is not picking up. It’s a Saturday, he doesn’t work
on Saturdays so this could only mean he is still ignoring me. I need to give him
some time to cool down anyway.

34
 Chapter 3

It’s been 2 days and still nothing from Lwandile. I’m starting to get worried, this
is not at all like him. What if something bad happened to him? I would never
forgive myself. I’ve asked Akhona and Esihle to give me Shaka and Zethu’s
numbers, they probably have an idea where he is. Let me call Shaka first.
“Hey Shaka, this is Ntando. Sorry to bother you I know that you are probably at
work but I have been trying to get a hold of Lwa since Saturday and nothing. Is
he safe?”
“Ntando I’m sorry but I also haven’t heard anything from Lwa. I will call his
offices and see if he is in but I will try to get ahold of him”
“Ok please do, I just have bad feeling about this.” I am really worried, I know
that Lwa can take of himelf but when he is angry he becomes into some
monster you can barely recognize.

It’s 4 hours since I spoke with Shaka and he just sent me a text saying that he
has never been to work. I need to find him so we can talk. Akhona and Esihle
are not worried they are giving you the “we told you so” type of look and I
don’t need that right now. I need to go look for him, since he not at work the
next place for him to be at is probably at one of his houses. I will start at
Umhlanga because that is his main house.

It’s 2pm and I’m on my way to Umhlanga I can tell that today is a going to be a
long day. I just hope the security guard lets me in because after the Zama
incident he has made sure that nobody should enter all his property without
his consent. I guess he really meant it when he said that incident would never
happen again.

I’m at the house and luckily the security guard let me in but when I asked him if
Lwa is here he didn’t even know who that was. I’m assuming he is the new guy.
I walk around the whole house but nothing, he isn’t here. I’m still hopeful,
maybe I will find him at the house in Zimbali. I hope I do. I regret not answering

35
his phone calls because that’s why I am in this mess but I can’t lose hope. I
need to find him.

I get to Zimbali and I see his G-Wagon outside. I get excited it means his here I
can’t wait so see my King. Luckily the Security here also didn’t give me troubles
as well. I’m knocking at the door excitedly. Iheeeee I can’t believe my eyes
right now, I feel like a huge knife just went through my heart. A woman is
about to open the door, Lwa’s glass door doesn’t hide much. I am so frustrated
but I need to calm down.
“Hello, may I help you” iheeeeeeeeee babazani bo, who does she think she is?
Ubuza mina Ntandokazi Mthimkhulu if she can help me at my man’s house.
Hayi cha ngsazoke ngizwe yazi, I am about to lose it.
“Is Lwandile here?”, I say after analysing her from head to toe.
“And you are?”. Cha its confirmed ngyalingwa qobo yazi. I won’t entertain this I
push her out of my way then enter the house. She holds me hand.
“You can’t just barge in here, I asked you a question” Calm down Ntando, calm
down.
“Let her go Mbali”, Lwandile says approaching us. World War 3 avoided.
“I’m sorry Lwandile but she just barged in here without addressing herself, I
had to do something”
“uhrm Mbali this is Ntandokazi, please next time don’t man handle her,
security wouldn’t of let her in if she wasn’t welcome here.” Nchoooo my baby
is backing me up, I don’t like this Mbali chick, you can’t be at somebody’s place
calling the shots. I’m trying to hold back a smile and this Mbali girl is pissed.
“Sorry Ntando I didn’t mean to”. She doesn’t mean it she has too much
attitude going on and I don’t accept her apology.
“Ntandokazi lets go talk upstairs”, he commands with a serious face. Eish I
forgot that I’m still in trouble, but so is he uthule nje he is not answering his
calls kanti he is hiding out with another woman.
“What are you doing here?”. Haw the same person who said I was welcome
here is now asking me what I’m doing here, kwashintsha ukudla kwi plate.
“EXCUSE ME!!! WHAT ARE YOU…” He stops me as I am still shouting and says,
“Ntandokazi you will not speak to me in that tone are we understood?!” I am

36
absolutely stunned.
He the continues, “The other day you went Tuelo to Addington Hospital, even
though I told you to stay away from him but you went there regardless. You
ignored my calls because you were with him. To make things worse I told you
that I would come see you in the afternoon but wena you choose to go get
drunk at the pier. Ukungangihloniphi lokho (That shows you don’t respect me)
Ntandokazi and I will not take such disrespect from you or anyone for that
matter”. Hayi wangitshela yezwa, but how does he know all of this, the girls
assured me that they didn’t tell him about the Tuelo situation.
“How did you find out?”, I really am curious.
“I am a man, I have my ways and let me make myself clear to you”, He is
looking at me dead in the eye meaning that he is serious.
“If you ever go see Tuelo I will do more then put him in intensive care”. Wait
Tuelo has never been in intensive care, not unless if he … no he couldn’t have.
“Lwandile what did you do to him?”, now I am worried I promised Tuelo that
this will never happen again.
“I sent out a warning”. I am dating a monster how could he, the poor guy. I am
shattered, I fall to the ground and tears are pouring out.
“Lwandile how could you? They is nothing going on between me and Tuelo. I
just went to apologize to Tuelo for what you did, I couldn’t live with myself
knowing all of that happened because of me”. I am hurt.
“Get up from the floor and wipe those tears, I won’t explain myself to you. Go
clean yourself up in the bathroom, we have to go I have a meeting to attend in
2 hours.” This animal has no mercy, he doesn’t even feel any compassion for
me as I’m sobbing. Lwandile has anger issues and he is too possessive it’s not
good. I can’t believe what he just did to Tuelo I will never forgive him for this.

The 3 of us are in the car, Me, Lwa and Mbali and it is so awkward no one Is
talking we are just listening to the radio. I wanted to sit at the backseat with
Mbali but better the devil you know then the one you don’t know. No matter
what happens between me and Lwa I wouldn’t want strangers knowing me
and him are having troubles. Apparently Lwa and Mbali were at the house
looking for some documents for her boss who is currently Lwa’s client but I am

37
still not at ease with her, something about her doesn’t sit well with me. Lwa
keeps looking at me and under normal circumstances I would be blushing but I
am too depressed for that shit.

We are outside The Sails Hotel, we’ve already left Mbali at her office and now
it’s even more tense in the car. I just want to go upstairs and just cry my lungs
out, what Lwandile did scares me because this means he is capable of murder
but what terrifies me the most is the thought of him getting violent with me he
clearly has anger issue’s that he needs to work on.
“So you are not going to talk to me”, he says trying to hold my hand but I pull it
away. I am still torn apart and I won’t forgive him anytime soon.
“Should I cancel my meeting?” Ukube ngiyoke ngikhulume, I have nothing to
say to him nor will I spend any time with him.
“Ntandokazi ngikhuluma nawe, answer me!!!”, he says with a firm voice. I
flinch because I didn’t expect that he would raise his voice.
“Babe are you scared of me? Why did you just flinch, I’m not going to hit you”.
Well I don’t believe that, he did it before what would stop him again I know
that the first time it was a mistake but I just feel like I don’t know him anymore
and that makes me uncertain about this whole relationship.
“Ntando you may not understand or agree with what I did but I have to protect
what’s mine and I will not apologize for it. Right now I’m finding it hard to
believe that nothing was going on between you and that guy and I’m not going
to entertain your tears. So make a decision, we speak like adults or we stay
away from each other for good”. I can’t believe Lwandile just said that to me,
he goes around being a bully and he is here throwing the ultimatum, he
shouldn’t dare test me because he will not like my reaction.
“Lwandile please do not threaten me like that, I have every right to be upset
phela some of us are not as heartless as you. Don’t push me because you won’t
like the decision I will make”.
“Let me call my secretary and ask her to cancel my meeting so we can have
time to talk”. I nod. I actually don’t know what we are going to talk about but
I’m still mad at him.

We are on the elevator. Its awkward we haven’t said a word to each other

38
since we came out of the car but atleast we are holding hands so its promising.
“I missed you”, he says pinning me to the wall. I’m really not in the mood for
this. So I will try to resist him. Lord give me strength.
“What are you doing?”, I ask as he is kissing my neck. I really am mad but he is
at my weak spot and I can’t help but enjoy it.
“Please stop”. I actually don’t want him to stop but this is wrong, I’m still mad.
The elevator door open’s and he scoop’s me up and carries me. Somebody is
definitely in the mood today, other people’s sadness must fuel him mcm
asswhole.

We are in the hotel room and we are sitting on the couch. These girls are not
here, it’s come to a point where it doesn’t even bother me anymore ever since
the Bae’s came along we hardly spend time together 24/7 like before but as
long as they are happy so am I. Lwa is so anxious I wonder what’s up with him,
he keeps touching my thighs and pressing on them.
“Lwandile you said we should talk, what’s up?” He leans to kiss me, I pull away.
“Babe please don’t pull away, we will talk just according to my terms. Let me
do what I want to do, you are my girl overall”. Ow yeah he is turned on, his
eyes have shrinked and he is giving me the dirty smile. He leans in to kiss me, I
let him. Gosh this feels good I must admit. He picks me up and takes me to the
bedroom, we can’t have my sister walking in on us. As he closes the door he
pushes me against it, I am conquered. He then lays me on the bed and takes of
the clothes I was wearing and I remove his shirt. He kisses my skin gently while
removing my bra, then he removes my g-string with his mouth. I can feel his D
rubbing on me and I am feeling weak I need him, I need him now.
He gives me the naughty smile and then he starts kissing my neck again. He
starts going down on me kissing every inch of my body, I feel like I’m in a mini
heaven. He kisses my thighs now I know where this is going, he can’t do this to
me.
“Baby please don’t … ow fuck!!” I say screaming out loud, he kissed my cookie
on purpose just to shut me. A few seconds later he stops. Then he locks my
waist with his arms.
Next thing I hear, “What is Tuelo to you?’’.

39
“What?”, I say in a horny voice. I can’t believe he just asked me that and now
out of all times, my cookie is soaking wet and my body needs him in me. I can’t
believe this.
“Ntandokazi you heard the question, answer it”. Iheee this guy can’t be
serious.
“Baby I don’t know what you are…” he kisses my cookie as I try explaining. This
guy is exploiting my weakness but it still feels good, I can’t even pull way
because he locked my waist with his huge arms.
“Baby please stop, you are killing me here”. This guy will give me a heart
attack. I am so drained you’d swear we’ve been having sex for hours.
“If you resist Ntando I will keep doing this, now answer me”. I’m still trying to
catch my breath but then he does it again but for a longer period.
“Ow fuck Lwandile, fuck!”. Yeap I just climaxed, he gives me a naughty smile
meaning he is pleased with himself.
“Nothing Baby nothing” I scream out as he fingers me.
“Ntando don’t lie to me”. Haibo kanti what does this guy want from me, I will
not admit something that is not true. He starts fingering me faster now, I feel
like I am about to cum again. Ooops too late I already have, this has never
happened to me before. I feel more weak than I was before I can barely talk.
“Baby please, I swear on my mother’s life nothing is going on between that guy
and me”. He smiles at me, he looks so happy right now It’s annoying.
“Ok babe I trust you, do you want to cum for zaddy one last time?’’ he says
laughing at me. I am so mad at him but I’m too drained to fight him.
“No baby”, I say gently as I close my eyes. I need to sleep I’m too tired.
I feel him put a throw blanket on top of me then he holds me. I feel so
moved when I’m with Lwandile I doubt I will find this anywhere else.

I’m awake and Lwa is still asleep. Thoughts about Tuelo flood my mind and I
feel absolutely terrible maybe the best thing for me to do is to actually stay
way from him otherwise I will cause more damage. I wake up and I start
preparing supper, Lwa will need something to eat before he leaves. I’m still
very much mad at him, I don’t understand what type of person goes around
beating people mercilessly like that. A part of me is starting to fear his
capabilities but my heart won’t let me walk away. I’m done cooking and now

40
it’s time I go wake up the sleepy head.
“Lwa wake up.” He opens his eyes and pulls me to his chest. My sanctuary.
“What time is it?”
“Just after 5pm”
“Gosh I still need to go back to work.”
“Well before you go let’s have dinner.”
“Are you still mad at me?”
“I thought you didn’t care.”
“I do care about you MaMthimkhulu but I won’t stand the things you do. You
need to figure out whether you want to make us work or not.”
“I do Lwa and when I went to see Tuelo I wasn’t trying to disrespect you at all.
I’m sorry if it seemed like I was.” He kisses my forehead.
“MaMthimkhulu ngyakthanda”
“I know, Ngyakthanda nami Ncwane but no more violence. You can’t go
around hurting people. If something isn’t sitting well with you please talk to
me.”
“I will try sthandwa sami.”
“Please babe”. We share a kiss. I really do love this man. Despite all this early
drama that has happened in our relationship I want to see how far me and my
lover can take this.

**********

It’s in the morning and Lwa and I are on our way to have breakfast. He wanted
us to spend a bit more quality time together before he goes to work.
“You look so beautiful. Please don’t ever wear make up again”, ever since I met
Lwa I’ve been wearing less and less make up and I’ve officially stopped. I don’t
take offence to this it means he likes the real me. I can’t help but blush right
now.
“Thank you baby but that is so random”, I say with a huge smile on my face.
“Phela sometimes you have survey your package.” I giggle.
“I’m the package?” He nods lol Lwa is silly at times but I really love this guy he
is my Zulu King and my protector in his own stupid ways. I have never felt like

41
this about a guy before it’s scary but I love being inlove with him.
We are already seated at Mugg and Bean and we’ve already ordered. I can’t
seem to get my eyes off uManzini wami and so are the girls in the table next to
ours yazi they are a group of 4 chesse girl you can tell they are daddy’s little
girls. I wish I could ignore them looking at Lwa like prey but I can’t, I am very
much annoyed.
“Babe are you ok?” I’m annoyed I wasn’t even listening to what Lwa was
saying.
“Yes I’m ok, I’m sorry you were saying?”
“What are the plans for the day?” Before I could even answer one of waiters
comes to our table and says.
“The ladies over there said I should give you this”, she hands Lwa a note. It’s
from the brats. Cabanga the nerve. He reads it and squashes the paper.
“What is it?”, I ask.
“Phone numbers, I don’t have time for these games.” I’m pissed yet impressed.
Not many guys that will do what he just did. In my heart I’m actually doing a
moon walk right now. A man that represents his woman is very hard to find.

The morning has started on a high note, breakfast was absolutely lovely. Later
on Lwa will pick me up to come spend the night with him. I really am looking
forward to it. We are just outside The Sails hotel.
“Thanks for the breakfast baby.”
“It’s my job to wine and dine you. I will see you later ok?”
“Ok baby enjoy your day at work.”
“Take this.” He says handing me money.
“What is it for?”
“You will see what you do with it.”
“No babe they is …” He kisses me before I can finish what I was about to say.
“We are not discussing this, just take it and enjoy your day.” I nod. This is the
first for me, I’ve never been with a guy who makes it his duty to treat me like a
Queen and just spoil me. Ow well I guess they is a first time for everything.

It’s just before lunch and I’m out doing my nails with the girls. It’s been a good

42
day but I’m a bit worried about Esihle. Ever since she came back last night from
Shaka she has been a bit reserved. I’m not sure if they had an argument with
Shaka or what but clearly something isn’t sitting well with her. Akhona has
noticed it too.
“Mntase whats wrong?”, Akhona and I are worried. She lets out a huge sigh.
“It’s nothing guys.”
“It’s clearly something Esihle, you are never like this unless something is
bothering you so please talk to us”, Akhona.
“I really wish I could tell you guys but I can’t since this involves your men as
well so it’s not my place to tell you this but all I can say is these men are not
what they seem to be”. Haibo what is talking about? What she said is freaking
me out a bit.
“Haibo Esihle what is that suppose to mean?”, Akhona asks the very same
question I am asking myself.
“Exactly what I just said, if you guys really want to know ask them” We are so
confused right now. I have so many qustions going through my mind.

It’s just after 9pm and Lwandile and I are on our way to Umhlanga and as usual
he keeps looking at me and he can see that my mind is somewhere else
because I am not even listening to what he is saying but he has to forgive me
my mind is on other things. I can’t stop thinking about what Esihle said.
“Babe are you ok?”
“Yes Lwandile I just have my mind on other things”
“What could be so important than having a conversation with me”, eish
Lwandile must not start with his jealousy tendencies I am not going to answer
that, I’m not in the mood.
“Lwandile the time you said they are a lot of things I would still need to process
about you, what did you mean by that?”. He clears his throat and looks away,
that means he is either about to lie or he will ignore my question.
“Babe I told you ukuthi you will know when the time is right”. See what I mean.
He continues, “Why are you asking me that now?”
“It’s something Esihle said about you guy’s not being who you appear to be so I
was just thinking a lot and then I remembered your words”.

43
He holds my hand and says, “Don’t worry about it now, you will find out when
the time is right”. He is not denying what Esihle said this means she was right.
I feel a bit uneasy right now but I need to stop overthinking because I clearly
won’t get the answers to the questions I am asking myself.

I am in bed alone and bae is in his office he has some work to do, this bed feels
so lonely without him I can’t seem to fall asleep I’ve been tossing and turning
for an hour now. That’s it I’m joining bae at the study. I’m walking down the
stairs and I can hear Lwandile shouting, he seems to be speaking to someone.
“Go and find that idiot and bring him to me alive, no one betrays me and gets
away with it”. Haibo kanti I have never heard Lwandile speaking like this, I’m
standing at the door and I’m afraid to go in.
“Ngizokwenza njalo ngamla (Iwill do that)”, reponds this tall scary looking guy.
He looks hardcore. I’m confused this guy doesn’t look like the type of person
who could be associated with Lwandile.
“Who is there?”, I hear Lwandile shout out as I am still lost in my own
thoughts. Then I walk in and find him and this guy holding guns, they probably
thought it was an intruder because they put them away as I walk in. I’m not
shocked that he has a gun since he is very successful man he needs his own
protection but it’s this tsotsi right here that I can’t figure out.
“Babe, I thought you were asleep”.
“I couldn’t fall asleep so I thought I should come check up on you, did I
interrupt you?”
“Hayi Ngamla let me go but don’t worry I will take care of things. Usale kahle
nawe Makhulukhulu”. Haibo how does this guy know me, I’m so confused right
now. I have so many questions.
“Who was that Sthandwa Sami?”
“A business associate of mine”, I look at him in confusion he can see I want him
to explain further but I doubt he will.
“So what may I do for you future Mrs Zungu?”. See what I mean.
“It’s Miss Mthimkhulu baby”
“Not for long, phela wena you will be my wife”. Lol this guy is mad we’ve been
dating for 2 weeks nyana and he already speaking marriage. It’s something that

44
I never see myself doing.
“It’s too soon for that baby”. He looks down like I just broke his heart, he is
such a baby sometimes it very amusing.
“Ok baby I didn’t mean it that way, I meant that we should just take our time I
wouldn’t hesitate to be Mrs Zungu once the time is right”. He looks up and
smiles, he has a beautiful smile it makes him seem warm and fuzzy.
“So what may I help you with Bhungane lami elihle?”
“I couldn’t sleep without you so I thought I should come keep you company or
help you if possible”
“No babe I’m done anyways let’s go to bed”. He carries me and I am laughing
so hard, I love being carried it’s sweet. As I lay on Lwa’s chest I can’t help but
try to puzzle everything together, what Esihle said taunts me I can’t seem to
get it off my mind. As I listen to Lwandile’s heart beat I realise that they is
actually still a lot for me learn about this soul. I just hope the things I find out
about him don’t push me away, they is only so much I can take.

It’s in the morning and we are ae woken up by a loud knock on the door,
Lwadile and I are startled it’s still 6am who could it be. Automatically I think
about the Zama incident but It can’t be security has been too tight since that
happened. A few seconds later we hear, “It’s the police open up” and the
banging continues. LwAndile heads to the door and tells me to stay in bed but I
can’t I need to see what’s going on so shortly after I follow him. He opens the
door.
“Are you Lwandile Zungu?” says one of the policemen.
“Yes I am”
“Tuelo Ikalafeng has laid charges on you for assult please come with us to the
police station”. I am jaw dropped, how could Tuelo do this. I am panicking I
start crying I don’t know what to do.
“MaMthimkhulu calm down, call Shaka and tell him to fetch me at the police
station I will be back shortly I will fix this.” I am on absolute panic mode.
Shaka’s phone is just ringing, I’m getting anxious.
“Hello”, he says with a sleepy voice.
“Shaka, it’s me Lwandile he is … he is ...”, I continue crying. I can’t speak, I can

45
barely even breath.
“Ntando calm down what happened to Lwandile?”
“He just got arrested, he told me to tell you that you should go to the police
station”
“Ok, stop crying. We will take care of this.”. I can’t believe my bae got arrested
I know that what he did was wrong but it still just hurts. Let me stress cook I
want my bae to come back and have a good meal. Lwa has a helper who cooks
and cleans for him but today she is off and that leaves me with cleaning this
big house alone.

I’m done with breakfast, I cooked a huge meal because I will ask Shaka and
Zethu along with my sister to pop by for breakfast when my Bae comes back,
I’ve already sent them texts. I’m now cleaning, this house is too big and
cleaning it is a hassle but I have to get used to it since it’s also “my house” as
Lwa like’s putting it. I’ve never been alone in this house and it is just weird
being here without Bae here.

It’s around 9:30am I’m done with everything’ I’ve prepared the dining table
and the food is in the warmer. Now I’m waiting anxiously laying on the couch
then I hear the door open.
“Babe where are you I’m home”. I can’t believe it my lover is back, I’m so
excited I run to the door and jump on top him the I wrap my legs around his
waist, I don’t want to ever let him go.
“I love you”, I say after sharing a heated kiss with him.
“I love you too” he says smiling at me.
“Guy’s get a room”, Shaka says. Eish I didn’t see them at all, bengizibonela
umuntu wami mina. Babe let’s go of me.
“Sorry guys benginganiboni, thank you guy’s for coming in such short notice.
Babe please take the gents to the dining table and boMntase please follow me
to the kitchen.” Bae is smiling at me, I guess he likes seeing me taking control
of things.

We are at the dining table having breakfast and I am starting to notice, Akhona

46
and Esihle have this glow on them. They are definitely getting that good
shandis, damn its’s been a while since I’ve seen them this happy they deserve
it. But as I look at Esihle I can’t help but dwell on what she said and the guy I
saw last night, but she doesn’t seem to be there anymore and that sort of
makes me feel like I’m a lunatic. Lwndile can see that my mind is not here he is
looking at me weirdly.
“Babe are you ok, you’ve been quiet”
“Yes baby I was just lost in my own thought’s for a while but I’m back to
reality”. He leans in to kiss my forehead, I love it when he does that.
“Hayi babes you totally out did yourself, breakfast was lovely”, Akhona says
with a smile on her face.
“Lwa you better keep her close to you, nothing is more important than a
woman who knows her way around the kitchen”, Shaka adds on while Esihle
dishes up more food for him. These guys eat a lot, Lwa and Zethu ate 2 plates
and Shaka is about to eat his third.
“I’m so glad you guys enjoyed yourselves.” The girls and I get up and start
clearing the table. As soon as we get to the kitchen I stare at them.
“What?”, Akhona asks.
“You guys have been glowing since you guys got here and I have my
curiosities, a sister has to know! I’ve never seen you guys like this so Zethu and
Shaka must be that good”. Akhona and Esihle laugh.
“No, a sister doesn’t have to to know”, Esihle.
“We are just happy I guess. Case closed”, Akhona says walking out of the
kitchen and then Esihle follows her. I still want my answer from them, I may
not get them now but I want them.

The crew has left now I have my love all to myself.

“Babe breakfast was lovely, thank you”.
“It’s “my house” remember, so don’t thank me it my duty to take care of you
as my man”. He looks impressed.
“I loved the way you took charge today, I see you are getting used to the idea
of us and getting more comfortable”
“I had to baby, I wanted to make sure my lover comes back to a home full of

47
good food and good company”.
“Thank you babe I really needed that. Now do you see why I need to make you
my wife, I can’t let another idiot snatch you away from me.”
Here we go again with the marriage talk, I love Lwa but I’m just not the type
that sees herself getting married. A lot of people find it weird but at this time
and era loyal and loving guys are hard to find, I rather stay single than to have
a man walk all over me. I won’t let that happen, the love is still too fresh for
him to be talking about such.
“Nobody will take me away from you baby, aren’t you going to work?”
“That’s the fun part about being your own boss you don’t have to go to work
you don’t feel like it. I will call and tell my secretary that I’m coming today, I
want to be with my girl”. Lol uyagula yazi lo, if keeps doing this up he won’t be
successful for too long. But hey this means more time for me.
“Baby tell me what happened at the police station? Why did they let you got”,
he lets go of me, clears his throat then looks at the other direction now he is
going to either lie to me or avoid my question.
“So babe what do you want us to do today?”. See what I mean, but this time
around I’m not letting off the hook that easy.
“Lwandile I asked you a question”, I say with a firm voice but he still isn’t
looking at me.
“Ok fine babe let’s just say I have friends in high places, I just had to make a
few phone calls and the misunderstanding was fixed”. Misunderstanding, lo
muntu put someone in ICU and he calls it a misunderstanding.
“Misunderstanding?? Baby you were not being accused you actually did beat
up Tuelo how is that a misunderstanding??”. His mood changes, he is getting
frustrated with my question but ha ke mufi chance I want my answers.
“Cha uyamthanda bo uTuelo, I had to rot in jail for doing whats right then you
will spend all your time with him when I’m out of the way. Ntandokazi have
you been communicating with that bastard, did you know about him laying
charges on me?”. I just made him mad, now I am in deep shit. I should’ve just
let things be.
“Babe calm down. I haven’t been talking to Tuelo I don’t even have his
numbers anymore. What is wrong with you? Why are you so insecure? I am

48
yours Lwandile no one has my heart but you. You know damn well that I don’t
agree with what you did and I never will. Why would you think that I wanted
you to be arrested.?”
“What do you expect me to think?”. Wow ok now I feel like I am about to lose
my temper and I really don’t want it get there. I get up and head outside.
“We are stil talking Ntando!!!” I don’t respond. If I talk now I have a feeling I
will say something I will regret. What Lwa just said hurt me why would he think
I would do that to him. Lwandile can’t keep hurting my feelings and think that
they are no consequences to that.

He walks into the room just as I take my hand bag, I just need some air because
right now I can’t be in the same space as him.
“Where are you going?”
“To the mall, I need some air.”
“Babe please, I’m sorry”. He is holding my hand.
“Lwandile leave me alone.”
“No we still need to talk?”
“TALK ABOUT WHAT??? THEY IS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!!”, I say shouting. I
walk past him and he follows me down the stairs. He holds my hand and uses it
to pull me close to him and kisses me. I try to push him away but he is holding
me close. He then pushes me to the nearest wall and pins my hands to the wall
and starts kissing my neck. I try to push him back but he has over powered me.
“Stop!!”, I say to him. He ignores me. Within seconds I am melted and as
expected, I am weak. I’m trying to put up a fight but he has me right where he
wants me to be and to say I’m not enjoying this is a lie. He picks me up and he
lays me on the couch, he undresses me until I’m butt naked. He starts kissing
me passionately I am fuelled up for real. He kisses my breast and starts playing
with my bean so roughly, it’s unlike him but It feels good. As I enjoy his touch
he whispers, “Get on your knees”.
“But …” he kisses my cookie. This guy now knows what my weaknesses are and
he can use them to his advantage, I salute him.
“Are you willing to comply now?”. He doesn’t give me a choice. I get on my
four’s then he spreads my legs further apart and pushes my upper back against

49
the couch then he starts kissing my cookie from behind. DAMN! This feels so
good, he just took me to my own little world. He then starts fingering me, I am
so wet I don’t think I’ve ever been this wet before I need this guy to just fuck
me out of my brains right now because I won’t be able to take his rejection for
much longer.
A while later he stops, why the fuck did he stop.
“Babe apologize for shouting at me.” Not again.
“Baby but…” before I even finish he starts rubbing my bean again and I feel like
I’m in a pradise world.
“Are you ready to apologize now?”. This idiot is enjoying this.
“Ok ok baby I’m sorry”. He spanks my ass and then his tounge starts doing the
magic I know it for and I am losing it. This is too much.
“Ow Fuck Lwandile … Fuck!!”, I am moaning so loud. Aggh I cum, this makes
me seem so weak but to be honest a guy has never made me cum via oral sex
before but this guy makes the impossible, possible.
“Now that’s the only apology I know”, he is so satisfied with himself mcm I feel
used. I don’t understand why he does this to me it’s torture.
“I hate you, I feel so used.”
“Babe I’m sorry if that’s how you feel it’s not my intention but I was taught
that the only way to discipline a woman is sexually and I will stick to that.”
“It’s comforting to know I’m not the only woman you’ve done this to before.”
Ok I admit I am a bit jealous, I know he has a past I just don’t it to rubbed on
my face.
“Ntando you are being unreasonable, I am not crazy I would never do that to
you because I would never want you to do that for me. I told you this before, I
would never do anything to jeopardise our relationship”. I like hearing him
speak like this, it kind of secures us.

Me and bae Lwa decided to order take way’s, make popcorn and just watch
movies and chill. I love being with this man size teddy bear of mine. We had a
bit of a quarrel when it came to picking movies because he likes action and
comedy and I love me some horror movies but I obviously got what I want, he
wasn’t going to win this one.

50
“Babe you know I love you right?”
“Yebo Manzini ngiyazi and I love you even more”. He kisses my fore head. As
we are still enjoying our moments Lwa’s phone rings so I reach to the table and
grab it, it’s Mbali. I’m not impressed so I throw the phone on the other couch.
He laughs at me.
“You don’t like her do you?”
“I doubt I ever will loya girl une liver, she had no right to treat me like that. I
will never erase that day out of my mind hence I will never like her”. He
giggle’s and I feel like slapping the cuteness out of him because I don’t find any
humor in what I’m saying.
“Ok ok babe I’m sorry, I know what she did was wrong but she’s not as bad as
you think. She’s actually quiet descent”. Descent my foot.
“So is Tuelo” I say looking at the tv, now I can sense his face has changed. I
know what I just did is wrong but he also has to feel the burn.
“Angizwanga (Excuse me) Ntando?”.
I know he heard me, you know they is one thing you should always know about
zulu’s whenever they say “Angizwanga” they are just giving you a moment to
take back the shit you just said.
“Exactly! It’s all fun and games until I point the gun at you”.
“That wasn’t funny babe”
“So was the Mbali issue”
“Ok then I’m sorry babe but please never speak that bastards name ever
again”
“Nawe stop rubbing Mbali in my face”.
“Ntando akufani Mbali isn’t trying to get into my pant’s and we’ve been friends
for years now”. Maybe I’m being a bit unreasonable but I am me so I am
allowed to.
“Well I can’t be too sure about that”. This is me being insecure and jealous.
“Let’s drop this”, I hate how he sometimes disregards what I say. But I am
guessing this topic has been closed since he just layed his head on my tighs and
increased the volume of the tv.

It’s around 10pm me and Bae are in bed, I’m laying on my sanctuary … his

51
chest. Lwa’s phone rings again, he looks at the phone then at me. It must be
Mbali.
“Answer it”, I remove myself from his chest and turn my back against him.
“It’s just Mbali babe”, he says. I don’t respond.
“Hello”
“Hey Lwa, I tried calling you earlier.” why the fuck did he put the phone on
speaker and why is she calling him Lwa, I only call him Lwa. I’m so pissed.
“Sorry I am with Ntando I didn’t want any disturbances”
“Ow ok, your dad called me uthi he has been trying to get ahold of you he said
please get to him as soon as possible it’s urgent”. His dad why is he calling her
out of all people. Come to think of it me and Lwandile have never spoken in
depth about our families but why her. I’m so jealous right now, I can’t help it.
“Ok I will call him first thing tomorrow morning, thanks”. Nxxxx ngaze
ngadinwa (I so mad).
“Babe are you mad?”. Ofcourse I am what is he thinking.
“No”. What a lie, I am so jealous and pissed right now, I know I have no reason
to be feeling like this but I can’t help it.
“Then why did you turn your back against me?”.
“I just don’t feel like laying on your chest anymore”.
“Babe come on talk to me”
“Mbali seems to know so much about you and here I am not having an idea. If
your family can’t get ahold of you they call her. Couldn’t he call abo Shaka, this
only means that they do expect you to be with her at any time of the day. You
don’t even talk to me about your family, I know we just started dating and I’m
not trying to over-exaggerate my place in your life but nje it still hurts” I’m
sulking right now, aren’t I?
“Babe I understand but njongoba usho everything is still new I also don’t know
much about your family, the only reason why dad would call Mbali is because
he probably tried calling Shaka and Zethu and he also couldn’t get a hold of
them aswell. I also don’t like what you just said, you should always exaggerate
your place in my life because you occupy my whole heart. Ngyakthanda
MaMthimkhulu and you are the only apple of my eye.” Then he seals his
magical words with a kiss on my fore head.

52
“I’m sorry baby, I know what I did was childish but I couldn’t help it. I know
Mbali has been you friend for a while now so I should probably be more
welcoming of her, I will try tolerating her”. He pulls me to his chest.
“That’s my girl, so what do you want to know about my family?”
“Where are your parents and do you have any siblings?”
“My biological dad passed away when I was 17 and the woman who gave birth
to me ran away with another man when I was 10 and deserted me, my little
brother and my father. Shaka and I were best friends growing up, we lived in
the same area eMandeni then when we were 12 years old Shaka’s dad got
involved in some diamond smuggling that enabled him to afford a better life
for his family so Shaka moved to Richards Bay but we still remained friends
even though it wasn’t the same. Then my dad passed away and I had no one so
I had to make ends meet for myself, I pushed through school since I was doing
matric at the time. I tried looking for a job but I couldn’t find one so I had to to
make ends meet to look after my brother. A lot happened after I got involved
with the wrong crew but then when I was 20 Shaka’s family took me in and
made me into the man I am today.” Wow! Ok now that I didn’t expect.
“Where is your little brother?”
“I don’t want to talk about him,” His eye’s get teary. Now I feel bad for asking. I
can’t believe my babe had such a bad start in life that’s
just sad I can’t imagine what life without a mother is like and knowing that
your mum ran away with another man must be worse, after that he lost the
only parent he knew. I wonder what happened to his brother though but I
guess he will tell me when he is ready.
“Baby I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to bring up the past, I just didn’t think ...” I
don’t know what else to say so I just hold him.
“It’s fine babe it wasn’t you fault, I’m good now.” But he still looks emotional.
“I know, I want you to just know I would love you even if you had nothing but a
broken soul as long as if you love me that’s good enough for me”, I don’t want
to let go of him I’m still squeezing him tight.
“That I know for sure phela you are the only woman I know who would reject a
man offering to pay for her bill.” He says laughing. I’m glad I was able to cheer
him up a bit.

53
“Come on now baby let’s sleep you have work tomorrow”. Another day has
ended and I’m in the arms of my loving man. I couldn’t ask for a better man
that him, he has his mistakes and he has a bit of an anger issue but they is no
such thing as a perfect man anyways. I love this man so much so I just have to
pull through for him.
 Chapter 4

It’s 7am I’m woken up by staggering pains but I’m alone in bed Lwa must’ve
left for work. Earlier this year I was sick because my kidneys were infected and
I was treated but from time to time I have pains in my kidneys that docters still
haven’t found out what could be the cause of the pains because the infection
was treated, these pains are bad I can barely walk up right when I get these
pains. I ran out of my medication last weekend and I haven’t had the time to
go to the pharmacy I guess that’s why my pains are worse than usual. I called
Lwa, Esihle, Akhona and even Shaka but no answer my only option now is
Zethu because my brother is not in the list of people I can can call. Great he
picks up.
“Hey Ntando”
“Hey Zethu, do you know where Lwa is?”
“Uhrm No, are you ok? You don’t sound too well”
“I’m not feeling well, I need pills.”
“What type of pills? I will be there right now and I will try getting ahold of Lwa”
“I will text you a list of their names. Please do”. I’m on the bedroom floor, I was
trying to look for at least pain killers in the drawers but I couldn’t I am feeling
weak.

30 minutes later Zethu gets here and he finds me on the bedroom floor in
tears.
“Haibo Ntando what is going on? maybe I should take you to hospital you are
not looking good.”
“I’ll be ok I just need my pills please.” He isn’t convinced.
“No! I’m taking you to hospital, Lwa would kill me If I left you here like this”. He
picks me up and carries me to his car”. Zethu is so caring, I will be forever
grateful for this I wonder where that bastard boyfriend of mine is.
We are on our way to hospital then Lwa call’s me but I don’t even want to talk
so I give my phone to Zethu.
“Meet us at Busamed Private Hospital, Ntando is sick”, Zethu is looking so

55
worried right now. We get to hospital and I get immediate medical attention,
the same doctor that treated me at Addington is also treating me here so he
must be their “family doctor”.
I’m admitted to ICU but I have my own private room, I have no idea why but
Zethu gave strict instructions about that. They’ve injected me with some
strong pain killers the pains are now a bit better but I’m feeling sleepy.
“Hello, I’m Dr John please describe your pains to me”. I tell the doctor the
whole story about being admitted and the ongoing pains that haven’t yet been
diagnosed.
“So are you taking any medication?”. I then ask Zethu to show him the med’s
he bought for me.
“Ok for now we will keep you on the same medication you’ve been taking then
I will get a specialist to come see you later on today or tomorrow morning”. As
the Dr walks out Lwa meets him at the door and he stops him trying to get a
brief description of what is wrong with me. He and Zethu greet each other
then he comes near me.
“Babe what happened?”. I’m mad, mostly sleepy but just mad.
“Where were you???”, Zethu can tell it’s about to get rough so he excuses
himself so he can call my sisters to tell them what happened.
“Babe, I was busy with something I didn’t think the call was urgent.”
“Lwandile Zungu, you were not there when I needed you the most. I hope that
really sits well with you. I don’t have the energy for this I have to rest.
“I’m sorry babe but I will let you rest. I’ll see you later I have to go take care of
some business”. I hope he doesn’t even bother coming back otherwise
uzongithola kahle.

I’m waken up by the sound of people taking, I open my eyes it’s my sister’s.
“Ntando you gave us a huge scare, what happened?”, Akhona says holding my
hand.
“I’m sorry guy’s but I had those kidney pains again and medication had ran out,
I didn’t get time to go to the pharmacy in the last 3 day’s”. Esihle isn’t looking
impressed she look like she is about to slap me.
“Ntando usugula ngekhanda yini wazi kahle ukuthi your medication is vital to

56
your health what got into you?” ok I did not expect her to raise her voice like
that but I guess I deserve it.
“I know guys I’m sorry I hope you guys didn’t tell mum, Olwethu or malumz
right?”.
“No but we had to tell someone so we told Ncane Nombu and Ncane Noma
they said they will come see you this afternoon and we asked them not to tell”,
Esihle says with a worried look.
“Thank you, I don’t want to worry mum you guys know how she gets”, we
share a laugh. Yoh my mum can smother a human being, I love her but she can
become too over protective at times but I guess those are the disadvantages
the last born.
“So Where is Lwa?”, aggh did Akhona really have to ask.
“Can we please not talk about him, anything else but him”. They are shocked
that I just said that so let me change the topic before they start asking too
many questions I don’t want to answer.
“Akhona your bae is one in a million I will be forever grateful for what he did”
“He didn’t have a choice otherwise me and Lwa were going to drill his ass”. We
share a laugh but I can’t stop wondering what Lwa was doing that he didn’t
answer my calls, infact the thought of it pisses me off. As I am lost in my
thoughts a nurse walks in followed by delivery guy’s holding 4 bouquets of
flowers in different colours, get well soon balloons, a huge card and basket of
snacks. This has Lwa written all over him my sisters and I are amazed. I sign off
on the order and I read the card out loud,

“The lavender roses are for the feelings I felt when I first saw you, the red roses represent my
unconditional love for you, the pink roses are to show you how much I appreciate having you in my life,
the white roses are to show you how sorry I am. Please forgive me MaMthimkhulu and get well soon, I
love you”

I must admit I am impressed I did not expect this at all.

“Nchoooo babes you need to forgive him”, Akhona. This is effort but I’m still
upset. Let me call him.
“Babe did you get them?” he sounds excited.

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“Yes Lwa, thank you so much they are beautiful but you can’t keep showering
me with gifts everytime you do something wrong. You need to own up to it.
“I know baby and I really am sorry. Please accept my apology MaMthimkhulu.”
I swear sometimes I hate the fact that I love this guy.
“Apology accepted but do know that you are not supposed give so much candy
to a sick person”
“Ngyabonga sthandwa sami. Then I will take it away from you when I get there,
how are you feeling?”
“A bit better but I’m still drained”
“Get some more rest babe do you need anything?”
“Yes please bring me my handbag, toiletries, clothes, fruits and other hospital
stuff not junk food”. He giggles.
“Babe what are hospital stuff? But ok I will figure it out.
“Ok send me your account number so I can transfer some cash just in case you
need anything before I get there”. I’m so not used to guy’s like Lwa, I don’t
even believe in girlfriend allowances so it’s just unusual for me to have a guy
who doesn’t mind wasting tons of money on me.
“Lwandile they is no need for that, I don’t need money I am in hospital afterall”
“Ntando don’t make this an issue, you are my woman and it is my duty to take
care of you”. It seems like I have no say in this, indoda isikhulumile.
“Ok I will text you the number but please don’t overdo it’’. My sisters are just
smiling at me.
“He is a good man mntase” say’s the same Esihle who told us our men are not
what they appear to be. I can’t believe this.
“And he really does love you”, Akhona. As I’m talking to these girls I see a text
saying Lwa deposited R6000 in my account ongangibuza ukuthi what it’s for I
wouldn’t have an answer.
“You over did it Lwandile but thank you”
“I love you and I really do regret not being there on time when you needed me,”
“I know and I love you too.”

“Ms Mthimkhulu”, I’m waken up from my nap by a nurse as I get up I notice

that a doctor I don’t know, it must be the specialist.

58
“Good Afternoon, I am Dr Cronje”, he says while reading my file.
“How are the pains now?”
“They are are not bad at all I can manage but I’m just feeling weak”
“Ok we will add some multivitamins as part of your medications, so tomorrow
morning I will take you to do a CT scan so I can be able to identify any
irregularities in your urinal system and I will also do some blood tests.” I nod
then he leaves. I look at my phone it’s around 4:30 pm and I see missed calls
from Lwa, Mum and Aunt Noma. First things first I need to call my mum.
“Hello Nana”
“Hello ma unjani?”
“I’m good and you?”
“Yes ma, I just miss you so much”
“When are you coming back home?”, lol mum must be kidding I will see
Ladysmith sometime January.
“Soon Mama, I love you but I have to go”. I don’t need her mother insticts
sensing that I’m not ok.
“Ok bye bye nana, I love you too” Hayi she has to stop with this nana thing. Ok
now I have to call Aunt Noma.
“Hello my baby”
“Hello Ncane how are you?”
“I’m ok, how are you feeling?”
“I’m much better now, the doctor said that tomorrow he will run some tests on
me but the pains are much better”
“Ok which hospital are you in?”
“Busamed Gateway Private Hospital”
“Haibo isn’t that hospital in Umhlanga, what are you doing there?” eish I’m
really not ready to answer such questions but I know eventually I have to tell
them, I’m not necessarily a baby anymore.
“Ncane I will explain everything when you guys get here”, She sounds confused
but she has no choice.
“We are on our way there now”. Great ok now I have to call bae Lwa.
“Babe”
“Baby, sorry I just woke up and saw your missed call I was sleeping”

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“I know I came there after you didn’t answer your phone I was worried that
something might be wrong.” Lol I wonder what he would do if my phone is off.
“Haw baby why didn’t you wake me up?”
“You looked to peaceful and tired so I thought I should just let you rest has Dr
Conje come to see you?”
“Yes baby he will run some tests on me tomorrow, on other news oNcane are
coming to see me “
“Are you serious?”, he sounds nervous its unlike him.
“Yes love their on their way here as we speak”
“How are you going to explain everything?”
“Don’t worry about it, do you want to meet them?”
“Meet them? Are you serious? Are you ready for that? I don’t want to cause
you any troubles”, I can’t believe this, Lwandile Zungu wonke is freaking out.
“Baby calm down they aren’t strict like that plus after explaining all of this they
would want to see you to ensure that you are not an old married man with 21
kids”. He giggles.
“Ok babe, your wish is my command. I love you”
“I love you more, see you in a few”. Just as I disconnect the call, I am jaw
dropped I can’t believe who I see walking in. It’s Mbali. I am absolutely shocked
I just didn’t expect to see her.
“I hope you don’t mind me being here”, she says sitting down.
“No it’s fine”
“I bought you these”, she hands me a plastic with fruit salads and energy
drinks.
“Thank you so much”, I really am truly grateful I didn’t expect this from her.
“I see Lwa has out done himself, your room looks like a valentine’s day set up”,
we share a laugh but she is right my room does look a bit over done with all
the flowers and gifts.
“You know how he gets.”
“Ntando I just wanted to apologise for the way I treated you when we first
met, I know I probably haven’t been in your good books since then but I
honestly didn’t know it was you. We got off on the wrong foot and it’s because
of me and I’m sorry. Lwa is like a brother to me so I have to protect him”, I get

60
where she is coming from I also have brothers and I would stop at nothing to
protect them.
“I understand and I accept your apology”, maybe Lwa was right she really isn’t
as bad as I thought.
“Lwa told me that you have kidney problem, how are you feeling now?” she
says with a concerned face.
“The pains are much better, the doctor will run tests on me tomorrow then I
guess we will take it from there”
“Ok, let me take your numbers so I can check up on you from time to time”,
damn now I feel like an idiot for all those things I said about her. She is so
sweet. I give her my numbers then we exchange good byes.

It’s 6pm and I just texted bae Lwa and he said he is on his way, I can’t wait to
see him. I’m now waiting anxiously watching tv waiting for my man then my
aunt’s walk in they are worried since they had no idea that I am in ICU.
“How are feeling now?”, Aunt Nombu asks while scanning the room I’m in.
“Much better, I will survive”
“No Ntando we need to tell your mum”, haibo Aunt Noma must not dare me.
“Cha Ma ngi right, let’s atleast wait until my results come back if things are bad
we will tell her if not then they is no need.”
“Ngokwazi kwami people who are ok do not sleep in ICU”, can mum Gugu just
give me a break please I don’t want to deal with this right now.
“Cha Noma leave the child alone, mina ngifuna ukukwazi who are the flowers
and gifts from?”. As I am about to answer my Zulu king walks in and greets, the
Aunts are surprised but wowed I know it’s because of Lwa’s looks.
“Lwa these are my mums younger sisters Aunt Noma and Aunt Nombu and
Moms this is Lwandile Zungu”, Lwa is drilling the floor and he is nervous as fuck
“Ngyajabula ukunazi boMa ”, oNcane are still astonished I don’t if it’s because
he is the first guy I’ve ever introduced to them or if they are still wowed by his
looks.
“Cha cha ungasibizi ngoMa we are still too young”, Aunt Nombu is right though
she is only a couple years older than Lwa.
“Ngyaxolisa, but then what should I call you? Because I can’t call you by your

61
first name”, nchooo my shy babe though he is finally relaxing a bit.
“Ncono uthi sis”, we all laugh at her comment.
“So Lwandile you brought Ntandokazi here?”
“Yebo Ma.”
“Does our brother know you are here Ntandokazi?” Aunt Noma.
“No ma you are the only two people that know.”
“I don’t like this this because if anything happens to you we will be liable”,
Aunt Noma must just relax.
“Nothing will happen Ncane, lets just wait until they run some tests on me.”
Aunt Noma is still a bit worried but I honestly don’t blame her.
“Please take care of her Lwandile, ungowakuphi?”, Aunt Nombu.
“I grew up eMandeni but now my family is based at at Richards Bay”.
“Ok syajabula ukukwazi ke Manzini koda manje Ntando we have to go now”,
Aunt Nombu
“Ngyajabula ukunazi nami Ma and thanks for coming”. I feel so excluded.
“Bye Mommies”.

The mothers are gone it’s just me and my baby right now.
“Did you remember to bring the things I asked you to bring?”
“Yes babe” He then kisses me. I don’t know why but I do know he is starting to
switch on the main switch so I pull back. His eyes are filled with so much love.
“What was that for?”
“It’s an apology for this morning and it’s also to show how much I appreciate
what you did today, you introduced me to some of the important people in
your life it means the world to me. I love you MaBhungane”. Nchoo that is so
sweet, I’m so blessed to have this guy.
“I love you too Gwabini”. As are in our love bubble, the nurses bring my food. I
hate hospital food I know I’m about to argue with bae.
“I won’t eat this food”. He ignores me and unwraps the food.
He is going to feed me, that is so sweet of him but I don’t appreciate him
forcing me to do something I don’t want to do.
“Open your mouth babe, eat at least 5 spoons ke”
“But baby…”

62
“No but’s Bhungane eat!”. I have no choice but to eat. He is laughing at me as I
wash down every spoon with juice. Finally! I’m done.
“Baby guess who came to see me today?”, I can’t wait to tell him about the
Mbali story.
“Who?”, he looks so clueless so I’m guessing he had no idea Mbali would come
here.
“Mbali”, I say with a huge smile on my face and he is confused.
“Mbali was here??”

“Yeap she apologized and bought me some hospital goodies”

“Aggh I should’ve saw this coming when we were talking about you she asked
ukuthi which hospital are you in but I didn’t think she would come here.”
“You were right baby she isn’t that bad”. He is giving me the I told you so face
but it’s fine I admit it I was wrong.
“So does this mean they is no more bad blood between you guys?”
“Yes baby, I’m sorry for the drama I caused.”
“It’s fine babe, I told you Mbali is like a sister to me”. I know that now. It starts
getting late and I know that means Lwa has to go.
“Sthandwa sami I have to go now I will see you tomorrow”. I really don’t want
him to leave but he has work tomorrow. We exchange our goodbyes and I love
you’s then he leaves.

It’s around 11 pm I wake up feeling immensely sick, I call the nurse and I get
immediate attention and they call the docter since I am sweating badly. I need
Lwa right now. The docter gets here and injects me a couple of times, my bp is
too high probably that’s what caused me to sweat like this but I’m feeling a bit
steady now my temperature is calming down. I need to call Lwa.
“Babe are you ok?” it doesn’t sound like he was sleeping at all.
“I need you”, I say as I breath heavily”. He doesn’t even respond, he just drops
the call. The nurses put ice packs on me to cool me down.

About 15 minutes later as I start to fall asleep my Zulu King walks in looking
flushed as if he ran all the way here.
“Babe what happened? Why did they put ice packs on you?” he looks worried,

63
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this.
“I was burning up but I’m feeling better now”, I’m so drained I can barely even
talk right.
“Ok babe just rest I will be by your side I am not going anywhere”.
“That’s not allowed”. He kisses my forehead.
“I’m not going anywhere”. I am drained and I don’t have the energy to argue
with him.

Its just before sunrise, I wake up and my babe is sleeping on the chair with his
head on top of the bed. As I try and get out of bed he is startled and wakes up.
“Babe where are you going to?”
“I didn’t mean to wake you up, I’m going to the toilet”. He gets up and helps
me with my drip”. I’m so glad he is here.
“Baby you need to go back home to rest its almost sunrise”. He is not
impressed.
“Ntandokazi I am not going anywhere, end of discussion. When you called I felt
my whole life come to a stand still, I froze I didn’t know what to do or say. I
regret leaving you last night so that’s why I’m not going anywhere”
“What about work?”
“Don’t worry about that”. I feel like I am a distraction to Lwa’s life ever since I
came along he often doesn’t go to work and that stresses me, I appreciate the
attention but I feel like it’s going to cost him. I will deal with this when I get
well right now let me just enjoy being with my King.
“Come sleep here”, I say patting the bed. He doesn’t hesitate. All I need is to
lay on my man’s chest, it’s my sanctuary.
“Babe when are you going to tell your mum that you are in hospital?” eish
couldn’t Lwa just allow me to have this moment, a moment not to worry about
anything and just enjoy his presence.
“Please sthandwa sami, not now”.
“Ok but you know you have to tell her”
“I will.”

I wake up, it’s 9am Bae Lwa and I fell asleep but I have no idea why none of

64
the nurses didn’t wake us up because I can tell they were here since my
breakfast is here or why they allowed him to spend the night. But I’m just glad I
was able to spend the night with my bae. I need to wake up this lover of mine
the Docter could walk in at any moment.
“Wake up baby.”, I say kissing him. He smiles.
“What time is it?”
“A few minutes after nine, I need to bath and wait for the docter and you need
to call the office and tell them you are running late. Go home and freshen up I
will see you later.” He is going to work whether he likes it or not.
“But Babe I said…” I kiss him just to shut him up.
“Go to work sthandwa sami. We are not going to argue about this”
“Ok but you must tell me when you come back from your scan”.
“Ok baby I will”. He kisses my forehead.
“Should I help you bath?” he says winking at me. Lol this guy though.
“No love I’ll be fine, I’ll ask a nurse to help me”. As bae is getting up a male
nurse enters the room and he says, “Ms Mthimkhulu are you ready for your
bath?”. Lwa’s eye are as huge as mountains right now as if this guy is going to
be actually bathing me.
“No it’s fine I will help her”, Lwa says pulling me close to his chest it’s like he is
saying if you dare come near her I will kill you. I really feel like laughing right
now, men and their ego’s ngeke ubaqede. The male nurse leaves and bae helps
me to the bath room.

“This is so tempting”, Bae says while bathing me. I feel like a baby right now.
“Don’t even start”
“I’m trying but it’s difficult. Your body is covered in soap all to my expose, it’s
too sexy and I’m craving this” he says holding my cookie.
“Lwandile hold yourself”, he isn’t listening to me I can tell because he is busy
scanning my body. He looks up then gives me the dirty smile, I know it’s about
to go down. He rinses my body then wipes it slowly next thing I know he picks
me up and puts me on bathroom counter.
“Baby what are you doing?”. He doesn’t even answer he starts kissing me
slowly, it feels so good. He then starts kissing my neck, my weakness. I’m

65
getting really heated but my lover here is taking his time.
“Lwandile please stop”, I don’t want him to stop but I can’t deal with this. He
then kisses all over me slowly, if feels so damn good I don’t want him to stop.
I’m feeling weak, this guy definitely knows to turn me on it doesn’t even take
him long. I am in my own little world and I just want to stay in it.
As I enjoy my bae’s touch they is a knock at the bathroom door.
“Ms Mthimkhulu, the docter is waiting for you”. Agggh why now?!!
“Talk about bad timing, this means I will have to continue this some other
time”, Lwa says. Does this mean I was about to get some? Damn these Dr’s.
“Ok I’ll be out in a few.” I lotion up and dress up fast then my love packs all my
toiletries.
“Bye sthandwa sami, I will miss you and I love you. Don’t forget to call me
when they are done running the tests yezwa”
“I won’t babe, I love you too”. He kisses my forehead then leaves.

It’s around 1pm, Shaka and Zethu along with my sisters just left I can’t believe
all the hospital goodies they bought me, Lwa and I didn’t tell them about last
night’s scare because we don’t want to worry them. I haven’t eaten anything
since last night when bae fed me and I am feeling hungry but I do not want to
eat hospital food so I might as well order some food and put the money bae
sent me into good use. My phone rings and it’s Lwa I totally forgot to call him
him.
“Love”
“MaMthimkhulu kanti besivumelene ngani (what was our agreement)?”
“Ngyaxolisa (I’m sorry) Manzini I totally forgot”.
“Ok, so when can we expect the result’s back?”
“Tomorrow morning baby”
“How are you feeling though?”
“I’m ok just a bit tired”
“Alright babe, I’ll see you later I have some paperwork to attend to then I’ll
come to you”.

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“Ok baby.” I love being showed with attention by my man like this, I’m feeling
like a golden egg.

I’m woken up by the sudden urge to vomit, I don’t know if it’s the food I ate
that didn’t sit well with me or what. The nurse walks in while I’m still vomitting
and she hands me glass of water. Lwa walks in while I’m still in the bathroom
with the nurse.
“Nurse what happened?”
“I don’t know, I found her like this”
“Sthandwa sami are you ok?”, he looks very worried.
“Yes”, I say after catching my breath. I’m still feeling very nausea.
“What happened babe?”
“I think it’s the food that I ate that doesn’t sit well with me because I was ok
the whole day”
“Hospital food?” he looks like he is about to get angry.
“No I ordered takeaways, it was some spicy indian food” and now he looks
disappointed.
“Ntando you can’t do that you need to stick to your diet they is a reason why
they serve you that food. You need to be a good girl inorder for you to get well
soon.”
“But it doesn’t taste nice” he giggles because I’m sulking like a baby.
“I know but please babe just do it for me” he kisses my forehead.
“Alright baby I will try.
“That’s my girl. Ow and I bought you something I hope you will like it.” He
looks so excited right now. He reaches on the table for a gift bag I didn’t notice.
“Open it”, he is anticipating my reaction. I open the box in the gift bag and I
can’t believe it, theres this Michael Koris watch I was eying from edgars. It’s
costs R6000 so its way way way out of what I can afford.
“Baby!!”, I say looking at him with all my eyes popped out I can’t believe it.
“Do you like it?”
“I do babe but this is too much I don’t think I can accept it. You can’t be
spending that much money on a watch.”
“Babe you are my woman if I don’t spoil you then who else will I spoil. Don’t

67
Get caught up in the price just please accept my gift”. I really love this watch.
“Thank you sthandwa sami I’m in love with this watch”. He seems happy that
I’m happy.
“But babe where will I wear this watch njengoba I’m still in hospital?” he
laughs at me.
“Well you will wear it around here then”, lol iheee this guy I can’t be wearing
this watch with pj’s it’s a lie shame, NEVER!!!
“Never shame baby, I will wear this watch when I’m looking the Queen of
some empire.” He giggles at my remark.
“Chesa wena sthandwa”. Lol I know he is being sarcastic. I stare at him.
“What’s up babe?”
“Ngyakthanda Manzini”
“Ngyakthanda nami Makhulukhulu”. This guy is the man for me yall, he is the
one. I don’t see myself with anyone else but him.
“So how was work today?”
“It was ok but I don’t really want to talk about work right now, it’s our time”.
Cool with me.
“Have you talked to your mum yet” weeeh yasuka inkathazo I did speak to my
mum earlier this morning but just not about me being in hospital.
Yes but I haven’t told her yet”, he isn’t happy about this.
“Ntando I don’t like this at all, she is your mother she has the right to know”.
“Lwandile ngyazi but can we please wait for the results first, I don’t want to
worry her for nothing. If my mum finds out I’m in hospital the moment I get
discharged she will take me back home without even thinking twice. Plus
before I can even tell my mum I need to tell my uncle and I won’t be able to
answer the questions they will ask me. If the results come back bad then I have
no choice but to tell them please just let me do this my way”
“Ok babe if you say so, your mum can’t take you away from me that would
mean the death of me”. As me and bae Lwa are in our love bubble my phone
rings, it’s Mbali.
“Hi Mbali”, Lwa looks at me in disbelief.
“Hey, I just called in to check how you are feeling”
“Much better thanks for asking, how are you?”
“I’m tired, work has me tied up”
“Hard Work means more money, hang in there and treat yourself to a full body

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massage this weekend”. She giggles.
“That I might actually do. Goodnight hun I have to get some rest”
“Goodnight”. Lwa is completely shocked I have no idea why though because I
told him that me and Mbali are chilled now.
“Ow so you guys are friends now?”
“No not friends but we are chilled baby”
“I can’t believe this”
“I thought you wanted us to play nice”
“I do, thank you babe”
“For?”
“Opening you heart to her.” I had no choice I’m not bitchy like that for the fact
that she was humble enough to come here and apologise for what happened
means that she saw her mistake. I really did judge her but she left me with no
choice.

It’s around 10pm and Lwa just left. I must say the antibiotics I’m taking now
are really helping I feel almost like myself again, this is good I can’t wait for my
results tomorrow so I can leave this place the 16th of December is this Saturday
and I can’t be in hospital at that time that’s when it’s really lit in Durban. I can’t
miss it. As I am lost in my own world I receive a text from an unknown number.
“Hey beautiful I hope you are still well”. I have no idea who this could be.
“Who is this?”.
“How could you forget the love of your life?”. Whoever this guy he is too cocky, love of
my life my foot. I don’t havetime for this.
“It’s Nsika”. OW MY GOSH!!! It can’t be him. The only Nsika that I know is the first
guy I fell inlove with when I was still in high school and he was out there in the
world hustling, he was my first. I thought he was my all. Our thing was solid but
then he broke me after almost 2 years of being together I decided to end the
toxic relationship. As my first love I will always have feelings for him but I am
never going back there ever again.
“Mkhwanazi?”, I reply to his text.
“The one and only babe. So when can I see you it’s been a while.”. Why Lord?? Why?
“I’m in Durban I’ll be back in Ladysmith January”

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“I’m also in Durban I came here today. I will stay in touch, I can’t wait to see you”.
This is messed up I know bae Lwa won’t like this at all. I don’t like lying to Lwa
but I for some fucked up reason a part of me really wants to see Nsika. I guess
we will have to wait and see.
 Chapter 5

It’s Friday, 11am and I am back at Lwa’s place I was discharged from hospital
this morning apparently the bacteria that caused my infection came back and it
was resistant to the medication hence that is why time and time again the
pains came back and I felt sick but he gave me stronger medication this time
that I only have to drink for 3 months then I’m set for good but I will need to
come do a checkup a month from now to make sure that the treatment is
working. I really am happy, if I were to spend another day in hospital I was
going to lose my mind. Lwa picked me up at the hospital then he left for work
he said he has some business to attend to and he will be back as soon as when
he is done. I really appreciate all that he has done for me, him just being there
for me means a lot. This guy is absolutely amazing and tonight I want to cater
to my boo just as a token of my appreciation, he deserves it.

I am now on my way to the mall to buy some things for tonight, I’m so excited
right now because I know bae Lwa won’t expect it. As I am out and about Lwa
calls me and I know I am in trouble because I should be at home resting.
“Sthandwa sami?”
“Babe where are you?”
“I’m at the mall”. He lets out a huge sigh
“What are you doing there because you know that you should be home
resting.” Hayi Lwa doesn’t understand I’ve been just laying in bed for four
whole days, the last thing I want to do right now is lay in bed.
“I know baby but I needed a breather”
“So why didn’t you tell me?”. I can tell that he is really annoyed by what I did.
“Ngyaxolisa Manzini”, the best thing for me to do right now is to just apologize
because putting up a fight won’t do me any good.
“How did you get there anyways?”
“Uber baby”
“Ok tell me when you are done I will get a driver to come fetch you”. I do not
understand why Lwa has a driver because he always drives for himself not

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unless he is drunk and that only happens once in a while, this driver is living
the life he practically gets paid for nothing. Though I can’t complain much the
poor man also needs to provide for his family and Lwa can afford it so it makes
sense.

I’ve already bought everything I will need tonight from candles and roses to
lingerie, all that I have to do now is buy some heels. Ow yes I am definitely
going all out for Lwandile Zungu. As I am about to walk into Foshini I feel
someone hold my waist, I am going to kill this person. I turn around and I see
Nsika. What is he doing here?
“Nsika? What are you doing here?”
“Is that the hello I’m going to get? Can I get a hug?” We exchange a hug.
“So how are you doing beautiful? You look great by the way”
“Thank you, I’m good and how are you?”
“I’m great Ntando, gosh look you look so amazing”
“Stop with the flattery but really what are you doing here?”
“Malls at central are too packed plus we just wanted a mini drive.”
“Uhm so when are you leaving?”
“Sometime next week, tomorrow a friend of mine invited us over for a party
tomorrow and then I have some business to do with him”
“Alright well I have to go I guess I’ll see you?”
“Yes later today? This doesn’t count”
“I’m sorry I can’t today I have plans”
“Ahhh Ntando, ok then you owe me. Sunday go out for lunch with me”
“Uhrm…”
“Come on Ntando you owe me.”
“Ok”, I can’t believe I just agreed this.
“Ok see you then babe”. He kisses my cheek then leaves. He is one of those
people I never expected to see again in my life and I don’t know why he would
pitch up now out of times.

It’s 5pm and the the table is set for our candle light dinner, the food is cooked
and there are roses and candles everywhere from the door, to the stairs, to his

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bedroom and all over the dining table. I can’t wait for Bae Lwa to come back.
I hear the car come in, I rush to wait for Bae at the door. I’m wearing my sexy
black lace lingerie (emphisis on the sexy), a black kimono and black open toe
heels. I look yummy as fuck. Lwandile opens the door and he is followed by
Shaka, Sthe and Bonga. I can’t believe this and I quickly wrap myself with my
kimono, I am so embarrassed. I run up the stairs in tears this has to be the
most embarrassing time in my life. Lwa walks in the bedroom and finds me
standing at the balcony.
“Sthandwa senhliziyo yami, I’m sorry I didn’t know you had this planned for us.
“Vele you didn’t know, it was supposed to be a surprise”. I am shattered and
embarrassed I really can’t stop crying.
“Babe please don’t cry. I’m sorry this is my fault I should’ve told you I was
bringing guests over, it totally slipped my mind. Should I tell them to leave?”,
he says hugging me from behind.
“No it’s fine, let me change and serve your guests”. I don’t know how I’m going
to face them, I guess I need to suck it up.
“I’m really sorry MaMthimkhulu, but before you change let me see what you
had on for me”, he says while turning me to face him.
“Damn!! This was all meant for me??”, He looks excited like a kid who has just
been handed a candy.
“Yes but I’m mad at you, I was all exposed to your friends that is embarrassing
for any woman”
“I know babe and I truly am sorry. I will make it up to you I promise”. I have no
choice but to change and clean up.

I’m downstairs but I am afraid to walk into the lounge and greet Lwa’s friends. I
am still super embarrassed but let me just suck it up.
“Sanibonani”, I say looking drilling the floor.
“Sawbona Makoti”, they all say simultaneously.
“We are sorry about today, we can see that awuphathekanga kahle”, that’s
really genuine coming from Shaka.
“It’s fine, uhrm where is Lwa?”
“Probably at the kitchen”, Bonga says. Let me go to my bae I’m not ready to

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face these guy’s yet.
“Lwa what are you doing?”, he is in the kitchen in an apron dishing up the
lasagnia and green salad I made. He looks cute.
“It’s fine babe let me handle this, you should be resting anyways. Thanks for
making supper babe”
“It’s fine love, do you need help with anything?”
“Nope you can just wait for me to serve you”. Fine with me let me do as my
bae says.

The guys have already left and thank God for that. I couldn’t even have supper
with them, I am still too embarrassed but fortunately Lwa understood and told
them that I need to rest because I’m still recovering. I’m in bed (yeap the same
bed that was covered in roses) eating ice cream, I’m upset that things didn’t
go as I planned in fact I am shattered. Bae Lwa is at the kitchen cleaning up
then I get a text from Nsika.
“Can I call you? I miss your lovely voice”, I don’t want to risk it with Lwa in the house,
after want happened with Tuelo I don’t want any troubles.
“I’m exhausted, you can call me tomorrow”.
“That’s sad. Sleep tight beautiful”.
“Babe”, Lwandile calls out whilst walking into the room.
“Yes baby.”
“Do you forgive me about what happened today?”
“I guess so but I’m not at peace knowing that I couldn’t cater for you today.
You ruined everything baby”
“I know babe I promise I will do everything in my powers to make it up to
you”. Ow well I can’t turn back time I might as well let things go.
“Ok it’s fine baby”.
“Can I get a kiss?”
“Come here Mr Zungu”. I share a kiss with him. King Lwa takes his bath and
jumps in to bed with me. I really love this guy that’s why I need to let Nsika
know that im taken now. If the whole Tuelo drama plays out again with Nsika
I’m going to lose Lwa and I can’t let that happen.
“Babe, I’ve been meaning to tell you this but you got sick and they was a lot

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going on. Tomorrow I’m having a party here and I invited my clients, business
associated and friends, a wine and dine type of thing. I called a catering
company and a décor company that will prepare for tomorrow so you don’t
have to worry about anything … well tomorrow you have to look amazing,
uwena uMama walayikhaya”. Lol “Mama walayikhaya” this guy is too
comfortable with the idea of having me around.
“Yoh baby that’s so last minute, how am I supposed to find something to wear
in such a short period of time?”
“Don’t worry, I have everything under control. I have organised Thula Sindi to
bring by a few of her best designs so you can look beautiful and I also
organised a hair stylist to come do your hair and nails … NO MAKE UP!!”, lol
the funny thing is ever since I met Lwa I’m forever on my wig I don’t even take
it out when I sleep.
“THE ONE AND ONLY THULA SINDI BABY??!! Phela she is one of the best
fashion designers in South Africa. All that for me sthandwa sami???” I am so
excited right.
“Yes babe phela you are a Queen, My Queen to be precise so I will do all that is
in my power’s to treat you like one”. I truly am blessed.
“But love what do you mean muthi “a stylist to my hair”?”
“Phela I see these things, you women like styling these weaves or rather
should I say wigs of yours so bazokwenza whatever you want”. Ow my gosh I’m
laughing so hard right now I can’t believe he just said that.
“Cha phela ngyakbona, I’ve been meaning to ask you ukuthi when will you
remove this wig because my sisters always take these things out the moment
they enter th house.”
“Haw baby”, I am still shocked.
“Take it out babe and let me see the real you”. I slowly take of the wig and
underneath are corn rows to keep my afro neat.
“You are beautiful” he says while kissing my big forehead.
“Thank you baby.”
“I know I might be asking for too much but tomorrow just for tomorrow can
you please just be natural, no weave just you and your afro I want everyone to
see the beautiful queen I have”. I have no problem with that, unlike a lot of

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people I know I love my afro but it’s a hassle to maintain it.
“It’s fine baby no problem”, he is excited.

**********

It’s finally th 16th of December, the Day of Reconciliation this is actually a

significant day but ask any South African this day is just an excuse for people to
drink like they is no tomorrow. It’s 9am and I’ve already picked the dress and
shoes I’m going to wear, it’s a white and yellow African print open back flare
dress which is just a bit short along with yellow pump heels. I am in love with
my outfit, I can’t believe that my King flew her all the way from Johannesbug
just so I can pick an outfit I’m going to be wearing around the house, Lucky
me. The stylist is here, her name is Imani she is a beautiful dark skinned,
mapakisha girl I like her vibe. She is starting off with my nails then we do my
hair. I feel so pampered.
“You are a very lucky woman Mrs Zungu”
“Call me Ntando and I am not married to Lwandile. But you are right I am a
lucky woman.”
“They are no longer any men that are good as Mr Zungu, today when he
introduced me to you I could see that he madly inlove with you”.
“I really am blessed. Do you have a boyfriend?” I know that this is me being
nosey but I was just wondering, she is too beautiful not to have one.
“I do but things are complicated because our families do not get along. I should
be married to him by now but the families didn’t bless the wedding.” That
must really suck imagine if my family told me to stay away from Lwa, I would
die instantly.

My hair and nails are done and I’m all dressed, I invited Imani to join us today I
really like her. Bae Lwa has already taken a bath and changed, he is downstairs
entertaining the guest who are already pouring in. I’m walking down the stair
and I can see my man near the door welcoming some guests, then he sees me.
He looks impressed and I must also say I am feeling myself shame!
“Sanibona boBaba”, I say greeting the middle-aged men standing with him.

76
“Sawbona Nkosazana”, they reply I must say one of these men reminds me of
my late father, he is tall, dark skinned with an average weight body, he also has
this strong aura that my father had that commands respect and attention but
the other man looks like those blesser types plus I don’t like the way he is
looking at me as if he is undressing me with his eyes.
“Mr Hlophe and Mr Zwane I would like you to meet my girlfriend Ntando
Mthimkhulu and sthandwa sami these are some of my important clients”. Mr
Hlophe is the one that looks like my father and Mr Zwane is the pervert.
“Ngyajabula ukunazi”, I say shaking their hands and bowing my knees. In the
Zulu culture that is a sign of respect.
“I can see she is well taught, ungabe usamyeka she would make a beautiful
wife”, Says Mr Hlophe, I guess he likes me, but I am also fond of him.
“I definitely will. Gentlemen please make yourselves comfortable I need to
have a word with my future.” As I actually notice I am impressed Lwa really did
pull this off.
“Damn babe you look amazing”, he says.
“Thanks love but I owe all of this to you and you look yummy as well baby”, he
is definitely looking dreamy. He giggles.
“Thanks babe now let’s go and entertain our guests”.

Things are running smoothly it’s almost time for lunch to be served and I’m
sitting in the kitchen with my sister’s, Mbali and Imani. Conversation is flowing
and we drinking champagne and eating the starters.
“Ladies please come to the garden, lunch is about to be served”, Lwa. We get
up and do as we are told as I’m walking out, he holds my hand.
“Babe you follow me, I want you to meet an old friend of mine”. I follow him
and we are heading to the outside lounge. When I raise my head I can’t believe
who I am seeing. It’s Nsika, WTF Is he doing here?? I am so nervous right now.
“Babe this is my friend from way way back his name is Nsika and these are his
friends Njabulo and Mpendulo and gentlemen this is the love of my life
Ntando”, bakwethu this cannot be happening and now I’m just praying he
doesn’t say we’ve dated.
“Nice to meet you Ntando”, Nsika. Thank god.

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“It’s a pleasure to meet all you gentlemen”. This is so awkward.
“You know Ntando you are more beautiful then Lwandile said you were. Be
careful Lwandile that nobody steals her away from you.”, Nsika is such a prick
how can he say that.
“Thank you for the compliment but Lwa doesn’t have to worry about anything
I’m not going anywhere. Uhrm baby It’s time for lunch remember let’s not
keep our guests waiting.”
“Ow yes, gentlemen please follow us”.

We are having lunch at the garden they is this long table that is seated by 40
people, I love the setting and the food is lovely but I am unsettled because
Nsika is sitting across me and I am not comfortable at all especially with Lwa
next to me angazi noma he can see what going on or what. My sisters have
seen him and they asked me what he is doing here and I had to explain that he
is Lwa’s friend, it’s all really messed up.
“Babe are you ok? You’ve barely eaten your food” Nchooo my baby always
knows when they is something off with me, I love how he is attentive.
“Yes baby but can I please be excused?”
“Should I come with you?”.
“No baby I’ll be ok”, I say after kissing his cheek.

As I walk up the stairs I hear somebody call my name. It’s Nsika, this guy must
be crazy he is doing this at Lwa’s house.
“Nsika what do you want?”
“What are you doing with this guy?” cha ngyalingwa qobo.
“Excuse me? Who are you to be asking me these questions”
“Ntando ngyamazi uLwandile and he is not the guy you should be with.”
“Nsika if I were you I would watch my words, that’s my man you are talking
about”, I’m starting to get mad.
“Lwandile is a dangerous man, you do not know who you are dealing with.
Listen to me or choose not to but I’m telling you all of this because I love you.”
“Love me?? Cha unesibindi, leave me alone and go nurse yourself back at the
table. Lwandile might want you to be here but I don’t because you are a 2

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faced ass hole, how can you talk dirty about Lwandile if he really is your friend
and you are in his damn house?!! Lwandile may not be perfect but he has been
nothing but a loving, respectful and loyal man towards me and you can learn a
thing or two from him. If you do not approve of our relationship then so be it
but we didn’t ask for your validation anyways but you are not going to bad
mouth Lwandile here and if you can’t help yourself then I suggest that you
leave!”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes I do, no hesitations and no doubt”.
“More than you loved me?” This guy must be mad if he thinks I’m going to
answer that. I run upstairs and he follows me.
“I asked you a question Ntando”
“Why are you following me? LEAVE ME ALONE!”
“I’m not going anywhere until I get my answer”. I keep quiet.
“Ntandokazi I still love you and your silence say’s a lot more then you are
willing to admit, I know that I fucked up in the past but I was still young and I’m
willing to make things right now. Think about what I’m saying to you now.”
He then leaves. I start crying, I didn’t realise how much Nsika being here is
affecting me it brings up a lot of bad memories and I hate how much of a hold
this guy still has over me. I don’t ever want to pursue a relationship with Nsika
ever again. I can’t lie and say I’m not bothered by what he said about Lwa
being a dangerous guy, I know he has a bit of a temper but I wouldn’t exactly
say he is a dangerous person. AGGH but fuck Nsika he probably just said that
to plant insecurities in my mind. As I’m crying my sister walk in.
“Was he here Ntando?”, Esihle says looking pissed. I nod.
“What did he do to you?”, Akhona asks.
“Nothing guys, I’ll be ok. I just don’t like the idea of him being here.”
“Be strong and don’t let him get to you. You are strong, beautiful and you have
a man that loves you. Nsika is in the past so forget about him”, Esihle is right I
need to pull myself together.

It’s 4pm, the day has been great regardless of the little confrontation with
Nsika. Almost all the guests have left including Imani and Mbali but Lwa, Zethu,

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Shaka, Mr Hlophe, Mr Zwane, Nsika and his friends are all having a meeting in
the office. I have no idea who does that, this was supposed to be a party but
I’m glad Nsika is out of my sight. Me and my sisters are at the pool sipping on
our glasses of the good shandis.
“Awusho ke babes, did you know that Lwa and Nsika knew each other?”, I
knew that the interrogation was still coming from Akhona.
“Not at all, I knew he was in Durban though because he texted me and asked
to see me thursday. Then I bumped into him at Gateway Mall and well I might
of agreed to go with lunch to him tomorrow but after what happened today
that won’t happen.” They are shocked.
“Cha yaz you are definitely something, after what happened with you and
Tuelo you still want to risk things. I know that you say you love Lwa but if you
care about his feeling you are going to stop entertaining Nsika’s texts. I know
that Nsika was your first but it’s time to get over him and move on, you are
with Lwa now. If you don’t want to be with Lwa then stay away from him and
save him the heartache”, Ouch! Ok that hurt I didn’t expect Esihle to say that.
“I agree with Esihle. Ntando you need to make up your mind”, Akhona too? I
can’t believe my sisters are ganging up on me. This really hurts.
“What you guys are saying really hurts my feelings, I know that responding to
Nsika’s texts was wrong and probably that’s why he thinks I still have feelings
for him. But I do not see myself with Nsika. The fact that you guys think I want
to toy around with Lwa hurts me because I thought you guys knew I was better
then that. I guess I was wrong.” My eyes are filled with tears then I continue, “I
need to go take my pills and rest so make yourselves at home”. Esihle doesn’t
even look like she cares but Akhona seems a bit moved.
“Ntando we didn’t mean to hurt you like this, please come back so we can talk
about this”, Akhona. I’m not having this I think I’ve heard enough.

As I’m laying in bed I can’t help but think about what Nsika said earlier about
Lwa being dangerous, and about what Esihle said about our men not being
what they seem to be and that tsotsi looking guy. I can’t seem to put my finger
on it but I know that something is not right, LwAndile is hiding something from
me and I want answers. I need to to talk to Nsika, I know if I push him to the

80
corner he will tell me the truth, I don’t know how or when I will get the chance
to do that but I need to do it.
“Babe are you ok?”, I didn’t notice that my Zulu warrior is at the door.
“Yes I’m ok. I’m just tired and I needed to rest”
“Ok I’m done with the meeting our guests are leaving come let’s go say
goodbye”
“Ok baby”. Great I have to face Nsika again but I have to be nice to him in
order to get the answers that I want from him. The good byes are said and
done but I’m still not talking to my sister’s I pretended to be busy talking to Mr
Hlophe when Lwa was talking to them. I told Nsika to come see me at midnight
because “we need to talk”, he probably think’s it’s about us because he got
excited when I told him that kanti uyanya shame anever.

It’s 11:30pm and I receive a text, it must be from Nsika. I haven’t slept at all
and my King is fast asleep he must be tired.
“I’m outside.” I said midnight but ow well beggers can’t be choosers. I’m just
praying that my Zulu King doesn’t wake up otherwise I’m screwed. Now I have
to hide from security, I know that the one at the gate is asleep by now but the
patrol security is on guard 24/7. I’m outside looking out for the security, then
next thing I hear.
‘’MaMthimkhulu is everything ok?’’, eish Sandile almost gave me heart attack.
Sandile is one of the security guards here.
“Yes I couldn’t sleep so I just thought I should get some fresh air”
“Ok”, he than walks away. The moment he walks away I rush to the gate. I can
see Nsika’s car it’s parked a couple of houses away from Lwa’s house.
“Hey love”, he says as I get in the car.
“Hy Nsika, let’s get straight to the point. I called you here for answers and I
know you are the only person who will be honest with me”
“Ok, love what are you talking about?”
“Lwandile, who is he really?” He looks the other way.
“Ntando I can’t tell you that, if you really want to know then you should ask
him. His is the love of your life right? So don’t involve me in this”
“Nsika please, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t desperate for answers. Please

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Nsika you owe me at least that much I just need the truth. If you really do love
me you will do this one thing for me, please”. He seems moved by what I’m
saying and he lets out a huge sigh.
“Ok but please don’t tell anyone that I told you this”. I’m listening attentively.
“Lwandile is one of South Africa’s largest cocaine supplier, their logistics
company is a front for their business they use it to transport their
merchandise”. I’m getting pissed it can’t be, my Lwandile? The one who
behaves like a little baby when he is excited or when he doesn’t get what he
wants, this guy is lying to me.
“Nsika I’ve had enough of this, I come to you with an honest heart and you lie
to me. I should’ve know better than to ask you for help”. I open the door I
want to leave then he holds my arm.
“Ntando I know this is not easy to take in but if you think I’m lying ask him.”
“So Nsika wena where do you fit in all of this?”
“We are his buyers”. I can’t believe this I don’t know whether to cry or be
angry but I need to confirm all of this. It can’t be, MY LWANDILE?? this is hard
to swallow.
“Bye Nsika”, I say. As I walk towards the house I am drained. I don’t even know
that I still want to be here but I need to confirm this first before taking any
drastic measures. How could the man that I love have so much secrets away
from me, I thought I knew him.
I’m in the bed with Lwa and I can’t get a wink of sleep, it’s all starting to make
sense, the tsotsi looking guy, the 10 security guards walking around the
premises with guns, the shady meetings and what Esihle said it all makes
sense. I can’t sleep in the same bed with this guy, I just need to clear my mind
so I’m moving to the other room hopefully I will get my sleep.

“Sthandwa sami???, I faintly hear Lwa’s voice as he is trying to wake me up.

“Why did you sleep here? Was I snoring?”. I get up and sit on upright.
“No I just needed some space to think then I came here I guess I must’ve
fell asleep in here”.
“Did I do anything wrong?”. I might as well ask now
“Lwandile Zungu what do you do for a living?”

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“Babe I’m confused”
“Lwandile if you won’t answer me I’m leaving”, I say raising my voice.
“Ok ok babe calm down, I told you what I do for a living. Where is this coming
from?”
“To be precise I need to ask, Lwandile are you a drug supplier?”. He is shocked,
he can’t even look at me straight in the eye.
“It’s a bit more complicated then that let me explain.” I am shocked I thought
he would deny it, our generation is out here stealing just to get money for the
shit he supplies. Girls have turned into prostitution, they sell even their own
kids just to get money for drugs. But what kills me the most is that I lost my
younger brother (cousin) to drugs. Now my man, the man that I love is the
hand behind all of this I’m really shattered.
“Sthandwa sami please talk to me.”
“I have to go Lwandile”, I say changing my pj’s.
“Ntandokazi where are you going? Can we please just talk about this?”. To be
honest I don’t know how to feel right now, I don’t know whether to be angry,
sad, disappointed or hurt but one thing is for sure our relationship is at risk. I
don’t know if I’ll be able to handle this.
“I just need some space, please don’t come looking for me”
“Can I atleast get my driver to take you to wherever you want to go.”
“NO!!!”. I storm out of the house, I don’t have transportation and the nearest
uber will be here in an hour so I’m walking not knowing where I’m going to.
I have to call my big brother he lives in Ballito Bay but I do not have a choice.
“Mntaka ma”, thank God Olwethu answer’s.
“I need your help, where are you?”, I start crying.
“Haibo Ntando what’s wrong? Uhrm I’m at Gateway Mall but I can come to
where ever you are, send me your location.” Thank you Lord.
“I will explain everything when you get here. I will send you my location right
now.”. Just as I disconnect the call Lwa calls me but I will not answer I’m not
ready to deal with him, I can’t believe that he hid this from me but most of all I
can’t believe Esihle knew about this and she as our sister chose not to tell us.
Talk about trust.

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Olwethu just got here, it was rather fast though because I only called him 10
minutes ago.
“Ngyabonga bro for fetching me, I owe you big time”
“Anything for you sis so are you going to tell me what happened?”. I can not
tell my brother than I’m having relationship problems he would kill me.
“Can we please talk about it when I’ve cooled down, I’m not in the mood at the
moment.”
“Ok sis so where should I take you to?”
“Drop me off in town I just want to catch some air”.
“Ok sis but if you need anything just know that I’m here”. That is so sweet of
him but that’s what family is for.

It’s 12pm and I’m at shelly beach, yeap the same beach me and Lwandile had
our romantic outing. When I got to town I didn’t know where else to go
because the hotel is the last last last place I want to go to. I don’t want to see
Esihle right now so I called an uber to bring me here. I love this place, its
peaceful so it’s the best place to gather your thoughts. Lwa, Esihle and Nsika
have been calling and texting me but I have no interests in talking to either of
them. I just want time to think about everything. The only person I want talk to
right now is my best friend, Andile but I hope she pick up, I need her.
“Hello babe”
“My slovithi how are you?”, lol this girl is crazy.
“I’m not doing well but I’ll be ok, how are you?’’
“Forget about me what’s up”
“Remember the guy I told you I met?”
“Yes the nice chocolate with the nice body?”
“Yes him, well let’s just say he has betrayed me. I can’t exactly tell you what he
did but he lied to me as well as Esihle, they both kept something very
important away from me. I don’t know how to deal with this.”
“Confront them, the only way for you to get out all the anger and hurt
you are feeling is for you to tell them about it.”
“I know but it’s not easy”, I’m in tears right now.
“I know but it’s a start. Stop crying because know that when you cry I will also

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cry, so please don’t”
“Ok I’m sorry ok I will stop, thank you”
“You know I got your back hoe”. We both giggle.
‘’I know, I love you bitch”. I really do, she always knows what to say.
“I love you too. Call me if you need to talk”
“I will”. I really needed that, sometimes I feel like Amahle gets me more than
my own bloody siblings.

It’s 7pm and I’m on my to The Sails Hotel, I hope and pray my sister’s aren’t
there because if they are all hell will break loose. I haven’t eaten anything the
whole day nor I have I taken a bath, I went to the nearest mall to catch a movie
but my mind wasn’t even there. As the uber drops me off I notice Zethu and
Shaka’s cars that could only mean one thing, my sisters are here. I’m trying to
calm myself as I’m approaching the door. I open it they are all standing and
looking at me.
“Ntando where have you been we’ve been worried sick about you?”, Esihle
says coming towards me. I feel a burst of anger.
“Don’t come near me! Drugs Esihle? You knew who these guys are and what
they are capable of but when you found out you didn’t even bother to tell us?
You look us straight in the eye and you say things like “mntatse he is a good
man” when you know damn well these guys are nothing but conniving
criminals. You are our sister for crying out loud isn’t it your duty to look out for
us? You may have chosen to be with Shaka even though you know the man he
is but we would’ve also liked to have that priviledge”
“What is she talking about Esihle?”, Akhona.
“Zethu and Esihle should I do the honours or will you?”, I am so pissed right
now I could kill someone.
“Ntando calm down, you need to understand that it wasn’t my place to tell
you. I promised Shaka that I would let Lwa and Zethu tell you guy’s when they
are ready, I’m sorry”.
‘’ESIHLE ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF??!! Your promise to Shaka meant
more to you than us? Well I really hope that Shaka’s dick is that good because
even though you gained your man’s trust you just lost your sister’s and I hope

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it was worth it”
“Esihle what is she talking about?”. I see Zethu and Esihle are not willing to
give her any answers so I might as well do the pleasure.
“Your precious Zethu, along with Shaka and Lwandile are cocaine suppliers and
our loving sister over here knew that and kept it away from us.” Akhona looks
broken.
“Esihle how could you? 4 years ago we lost Sanele to drug addiction wena
futhi knowingly you let us welcome such people in our lives??” Zethu is try to
comfort Akhona but she is not having it.
“Guys please leave”, Esihle says to Shaka and Zethu. It’s a pretty good idea if
you ask me, they are not welcomed here.
“You might as well leave with them Esihle”, I say. I am so mad. I’ve never been
this mad at her.
“Akhona please give me a chance to explain.”, Zethu says trying to hold her.
“LEAVE!!”, Akhona screams out. Ok even I didn’t expect this from her, she is
more of a gentle soul shouting isn’t her thing.

It’s 10pm, and I still can’t eat anything. Akhona and I haven’t said a word to
each other since Esihle, Shaka and Zethu left because she is the room crying
her lungs out, as for me I’m done with the tears I’m just plain mad and I want
to get drunk. Lwandile has been calling me like crazy, I think in total I have 60
missed calls and 10 messages from him so I’ve eventually switched of my
phone. I’m not ready to talk to him yet, I just need some space to figure out
where I want to stand with him. Enough is enough, me and this girl are going
out ngeke kulunge.
“Akhona, wake up let’s go.”
“Where are we going to?”
“Egagasini, we need a couple of shots”
“Dressed like this?”
“We are going there for there for alcohol, not potential bae’s. We have 30
minutes to freshen up because I’ve already called an uber”
“Yoh! Ok Let’s get ready then”. Ow yes si-on, we need this after all of this
mess, hopefully this will get our mind off things.
We’ve been here for 3 hours now and we are kak drunk, but vele that’s what

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we came for here so we might as well. Some guy’s asked to join us but then we
didn’t mind because this place was hella packed and our table was the empty
table since it’s just me and Akhona. Apparently Lwa and Zethu came to our
place just after we left, well that’s what the text Esihle sent me said. I do not
trust anymore her, I feel betrayed by her as our sister I felt like her obligation
to us should’ve been far greater than her obligation to Shaka because
she even knows the pain we’ve had to endured when our brother passed away
due to a drug overdose. It hurts to think she didn’t respect us and our brother’s
memory enough for her to tell us what’s going on.

My phone is ringing, it’s Lwa. I’m drunk enough to face him.

“Lwandile Ufunani?”
“Sthandwa sami ukuphi we need to talk, please.”
“Fuck you Lwandile. I want you to stay away from me for good, I hate you.”
“Are you drunk? Where are you?”
“Yes I’m drunk but that’s none of your business. Bye.” Lol WTF was that? Hayi
alcohol can do the things shame I salute it. A few seconds later I get a text from
Lwa: “I’m coming to fetch you”. This guy must be mad if he thinks I will go with him.
“Ohhh kambe you are inspector gadget, if you dare come here I will show you”, chances are he
won’t even pay attention to my text but F him tonight it’s not about him.

I’m on my feet dancing my life out with some guy when I feel somebody pick
me up, it’s Lwa.
“Put me down Lwandile!!”, this guy has put me on this shoulders like a bag of
potatoes, I hate this. Usually the bouncers are hands on and they look after the
people here but today isn’t one of those days I guess because the very same
bouncer that should be protecting me escourted Lwa here.
“Akhona lets go!!”, Lwa shouts out.
“Mfwethu, you can’t do this put her down she doesn’t want to leave with
you!”, says the guy I was dancing with. What happens after I didn’t anticipate,
Lwandile lands one fist on the guy.
“NGITHE AKHONA ASHAMBE (I said let’s go) !!!!”. I’m pissed. My poor drunk
sister gets up takes our bags and Lwandile grabs her hand. Lwandile is making

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a scene now everyone is looking at the guy who has a girl on his shoulder
and dragging another girl. I doubt I will be able to show my head here ever
again. He puts me in the front seat and Akhona at the back, we are so drunk
we keep laughing at this situation. Lwandile is pissed AF, he looks scary.
“Siyaphi (where are we going) Lwandile?”, I’m not that drunk I want to know.
“EMhlanga”, The devil is a liar we are not going there.
“That is the last place we are going to, it’s either you take us to our place or
leave us here on the street”
“Ntando you are drunk ngeke ngizwe ngawe (you won’t tell me what to
do)!!!!”, he says raising his voice. My drunken instincts tell me to open the car
door so that’s what I do.
“Take us to us our place or I will jump out here”
“Ok ok sthandwa sami close the door, I will take you where you want to go just
close the door”. I close it.
“NTANDOKAZI ARE YOU MAD YOU COULD’VE GOTTEN HURT!!”, Yoh when this
guy shout’s its scary, that’s something I will never get used to. I’m frozen I can’t
even respond but atleast he is taking us to our place.

“Sthandwa sami”, Lwa says shaking my arm. I must’ve passed out in the car but
it looks like I’m at The Sails. I wake up and look at him, I’m still drunk.
“Please leave Lwandile”, I feel like crying.
“Ntandokazi you haven’t given me time to talk to you, ngyacela Sthandwa sami
I can explain.”
“They is nothing to explain hamba!! I will talk to you when I’m ready but now
isn’t the time I need time to process things.”
“Ok I will leave but Ntandokazi I want to tell you that I love you. I know you are
hurting because your sister and I kept this from you. I for one should’ve been
honest with you but I was afraid that this would happen. I told you Ntando
ukuthi I’m not perfect infact I’m far from it. I’m sorry about your brother as
well I had no idea sthandwa sami.”
“LWANDILE GET OUT! GET OUT! I HATE YOU”, I say as I push him from the bed.
“I love you Ntandokazi Mthimkhulu and I won’t lose you”, he says as he walks
out the door. The love I have for him shatters my heart to see him broken like

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this but my anger won’t let me forgive him. My heart still loves Lwa regardless
of all this mess but when I think about my late brother I am shattered, I know
that taking drugs was his choice but he was still my brother it would feel like
betrayal to be inlove with the enemy. I can’t be with a guy like Lwandile.
 CHAPTER 6
It’s the 27th of December and I just came back to Durban, I was at home for
Christmas and it was a blast I needed some family time. We are at my uncle’s
place, me and Esihle are on speaking term again but for me it was an act I had
to put on at home but she and Akhona are ok now. I haven’t spoken to
Lwandile since the day we were drunk and that was over a week ago he calls
and texts but I’m still ignoring him as for Nsika I don’t even plan on entertain
him. I’m just happy that he has left that gives me one person to face at least.
Mbali has also been calling me but I’ve been ignoring her as well I wasn’t ready
to deal with all this Lwandile drama. Akhona and Zethu are now on speaking
terms. I guess for me this is too hard to process.
“Mshana these just got here for you”, Malume says reading the card. They
must be from Lwa. It’s a card and a bunch of mixed roses.
“Ok ngyabonga Malumz”. I go back to the bedroom where I was sitting with
the girls.
“Who are they from”, Akhona asks. I read the card out loud.

“I will never give up on us, that’s the promise I made to you and I will keep my words. Ntandokazi I
can’t lose you, you are my world. I know that I may come with a lot of baggage and I may not deserve
you but please just give me a chance to talk to you”.

“Ntando just give him a chance to talk to you”. Esihle can’t say that she doesn’t
have a say in this.
“Ngampela babes, it’s time you and Lwandile figured out where you guys stand
with each other” Akhona. I guess to some extent they are right. I need to make
up my mind about where I want to go to from here. Let me just text him.
“We need to talk. Meet me at Sun coast hotel at 3pm”
“Taking it to the place where you rejected me, this can’t be good. Should I pick you up?”
“No, we will meet there”. For all of our sakes I hope thing’s don’t blow out of
proportion. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to say to him when I get
there, right now I haven’t even figured out whether I still want to be with him
but they is one thing for sure and that’s I love him. This week has been hard

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without him, I love him so much that it even hurts but I can’t help it. The whole
week I was at home all I could think about was all the happy and blissful
moment’s we shared together. It’s hard to believe that now we are here.

It’s 3pm and I just got to Sun Coast Hotel, Lwandile is already here waiting for
me. I am so nervous right now I don’t know what I will do or say when I see
him. I look so damn cute though, I’m wearing open toe black heels, denim
jeans and an african print long sleeved off-shoulder shirt and I’m rocking my
Afro. These jeans are so nice and tight they are showing off all the good
shandis I know Lwa will lose it when he sees me. I can see the table he is sitting
in so I approach him, he is jaw dropped. The other men here I also starring at
me. He gets up and pulls my chair for me.
“You look beautiful MaMthimkhulu”
“Ngyabonga”. He is now seated and there is an awkward silence.
“So I called you here to talk about us”, I say trying to start the conversation.
“Did you get the flowers?”.
“Yes thanks they are beautiful. Lwandile please pay attention”
“It’s hard when you are looking this good”. I want to blush but I won’t.
“Maybe it was mistake coming here. Let me leave”
“Ok ok I’m sorry sthandwa sami, don’t leave.”. If only he knew I am just as
excited to see him as he is to see me.
“Lwandile why drugs?”. He starts looking sideways checking if no one heard
me but right now I don’t care who is listening I just want answers.
“I’m not proud of what I’m doing Ntandokazi but I had to take over the
business. Remember I told you the story about my upbringing?” I Nod.
“Yes well this business was runned by Shaka’s father along with Zethu’s father,
Shaka and Zethu were in university at the time and their fathers felt like they
were too immature at the time to take over the family business. I knew that as
a man I had to do something with my life so I slowly started working for Shaka
and Zethu’s fathers. I did little things here and there until I fully understood
how the business worked. When Shaka and Zethu graduated their fathers still
felt they weren’t fit enough to run the family business so they found them jobs
and I eventually ran the business and successfully grew it to what it is today.

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It’s only 3 years ago that Shaka and Zethu joined the business. All my wealth
and businesses were all established from money I got from selling coke. So you
must understand it’s not easy for me to just let go of everything, that would
mean I am ungrateful to Shaka’s father who took me in his home and groomed
me to be who I am today. You are the first girl I’ve ever dated MaMthimkhulu
that knows what I really do and that’s only because you are the only girl that
wanted to fall inlove with my soul rather than my bank account.
I may not be perfect but I need you in my life, you are the only woman that can
push me in the right direction. I love you with my all and I would continue to
do all in my powers to make you happy. I know what I’m asking you to do right
now is difficult and a risk but I love you and I would risk it all to protect you,
just don’t leave me.” I’m all out of words right now, I don’t know what I
expected but I’m sure this wasn’t it. I know for sure that I love this guy but is
really worth it? I know right now he means every word he says but I don’t
know what the right thing to do is.
“What else are you hiding from me?”
“Nothing Sthandwa sami it was just that. Ntando I know with this whole history
of losing your brother to drug’s makes it more difficult for you to welcome me
back into your heart but I need you to be honest with me what does your heart
tell you?”
“You never left my heart Lwandile and my heart tells me that I should forgive
you and I want to but it’s difficult for me to accept all of this.”
“Ngyakcela(please) MaMthimkhulu”.
“Let me think about it first and I will come back to you.”
“Ok fine with me, take all the time that you need but please don’t take too
long because I miss you sthandws sami.” I miss him too, way more then I’m
willing to admit.

Lwandile just dropped me off at home and to be honest Lunch with wasn’t as
bad as I thought it would be. I hate to admit it but I really missed him, I just
miss the old us. Now I have to face the girls.
“So Ntando how was it” Esihle asks the moment I enter.
“Not bad, I just need to think a bit more”.

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“But you know he loves you right?”
“I know, where is Akhona and Malumz?”, I ask after scanning around the
house.
“Akhona is With Zethu and Malumz is went to see his girl”, GREAT! Now I
actually have to face Esihle.
“Ow ok”. Things have been awkward between me and Esihle for a while now,
we’ve never been totally alone kube yi one on one, we’ve been avoiding that I
guess it’s because I knew I wasn’t ready to forgive her at the time.
“Ntando will you ever forgive me though?”
“I do forgive you Esihle, I just needed some time to figure things out”. I
honestly do forgive her but It’s going to take some time for us to go back to
how things were between us.
“Do you really forgive me?”
“Yes I can’t be mad forever. At the end of the day you are still my sister”
“Does this mean you are also ready to forgive Lwandile?”, Hayi Esihle must not
push it.
“Akufani, With Lwa things are a bit complicated. Theres quiet a lot for me to
consider.”
“Ok and I respect your decision but Ntando being with Lwandile wouldn’t
mean you are disrespecting our brother’s memory, he will always be in our
hearts. I know that you love Lwandile as much as he loves you but you giving
up on the love you guys have won’t bring back our brother. If you don’t want
to be Lwandile it’s fine but that has to be a choice that comes from your heart
and not because you feel like you owe it to our brother because you don’t
instead you will be breaking your own heart. The decision is yours to make, I
just hope that with whatever you choose will make you happy.” Damn that’s
really heartfelt.
“Wow I didn’t look at things that way.”
“Ntando uyakuthanda uLwandile, he is the only guy who has been with you
who would ever cross mountains to be with you. Pick up your phone and call
him because we both know you are just as afraid to lose him as he is right now
to lose you. Follow your heart sis.”
“Let me just think about what you just said for a while but I will.” Right now I

93
am so confused, I really do love Lwandile. I love him with my whole heart that
is for sure but whether I’d be able to accept his lifestyle is why our relationship
is at doubt.

It’s 8pm, we are all watching tv. I’m just glad the awkward vibes between me
and Esihle are over. I receive a text from Lwa:
“I’m outside please come see me”. lol haibo this guy.
“You must be kidding”
“If you don’t come, I will shout your name to get your attention”
“You can’t do that, you will get me in trouble”
“Try me”, Cha ngiyalingwa yazi.
“I’m coming”, I signal my sisters to meet me in our room, I need them to cover for
me. Hayi this dating thing is rough.
“Whats up?”, Akhona asks.
“Guys I need to go see Lwa outside for a few minutes please cover for me if
Malumz asks anything.”
“Alright.”, Esihle is smiling as she says this. I will entertain her later, now I need
to go deal with Lwandile.

I get to the car and this idiot is smiling. He opens the door and we sit at the
back seat.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to see my Queen”. Truth be told I want to blush, this reminds me of
when he was still asking me out.
“Lwandile I’m serious, my uncles is in the house I cant just walk in and out of
the house at night.”
“I know but I had to come see you. I miss you”
“Lwandile you need to leave”
“Ntandokazi ngyakcela stop pushing me away.” Lord knows I don’t want to.
“I don’t know how to feel or act when I’m around you”
“I know.” He pulls me close to his chest, my sanctuary. For a moment there it
feels like time has stopped, like nobody else exists in this world but me and
him, if feels like they are no troubles between us. I feel loved, appreciated and

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safe it’s as if Lwa just took my worries away.
“I love you Ntandokazi”.
Without even thinking, I respond, “I love you too Lwandile”. His heart is
beating fast and he holds me tight.
“Why is your heart beating so fast?”
“Because I’m scared”, cabanga a whole fully grown, well built guy is scared.
“Of What?”
“Losing you. I still want to get to know you more, you are nothing like the girls
I’ve been with and I still want to get the chance to know why. I don’t think I’ll
ever be ready to let you go.” Gosh I really love this guy, I want to resist but I
can’t my heart doesn’t allow me. Tears start rolling down my cheeks.
“I forgive you.” He wipes my tears and holds up my face so that we make eye
contact. His eyes are also filled with tears but he is holding them back.
“Does this mean you are giving us another chance?”, I nod. He holds me to his
chest again but tighter. I don’t know what I’ve just gotten myself into but I
know that they is no other person I’d rather be with but Lwa.
“I have to go Lwa”
“I know babe”, he doesn’t look like someone who is going to stop hugging me
anytime soon though.
“I love you MaBhungane”.
“I know, Ngyakthanda nami Manzini.”
“Before you leave, the actual reason why I came here is to give you this”. He
reaches for the front seat and hands me 3 P.S chocolate bars. I look at him
confused and I’m holding back my laughter.
“Read them”, he says with a huge smile on his face. The first on is written I love
you, the next one is written I miss you and the last one is written I’m sorry.
“Why ama P.S baby?”
“Esihle told me that when you guys were young and if you did anything to
make each other mad or your parents you guys would buy a P.S written “I’m
Sorry” as an apology gift and apparently it worked. So now I’m the one
apologizing.” Ok now I’m impressed, he really put some thought into this, it’s
so sweet of him.
“Thank you”, I say after kissing his cheek.

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“Give me another one here”, he says pointing to his lips. His nice juicy lips. I
miss his lips so I don’t hesitate and I land one on him. Things are start to get
steamy, it shows that we haven’t been intimate for a while now. He pulls back.
“Babe as much as I’m still enjoying this we have to stop because manje
sekvuka nezinto esilele”. I giggle. We spend some time cuddling and talking for
a long while before I decide that I have to go.
“Baby I have to go”
“Thanks for spending some time with me I’ll see you tomorrow Sthandwa
sami”.

I walk in the house and everybody is asleep, I’m guessing Malumz didn’t say
anything that’s why these girls didn’t call me. It’s now 23:30, I didn’t even
notice that time has passed by so quick but I guess that’s what happens when
you are with someone you love. I walk into the room and these girl are actually
sleeping so I get in bed.
“So what happened?”, Esihle whispers. Akalele she was waiting for me to come
back, lol ayy this girl is something else.
“Esihle go back to bed.”
“No no no I want to know”. Clearly I won’t get any sleep if I don’t tell her.
“We are going to see each other tomorrow”.
“Ntando WTF does that mean? You can tell me you were with Lwa all this time
and all you guys agreed on is that you will see each other tomorrow”
“Cha uyakwazi ukubanga isicefe if you must know we are together again but
you know we are going to take things slow”
“Ntandokazi you are not white, what does taking things slow in a relationship
even mean?”. Hayi ke angisazi.
“It means that we are still testing the waters. Hayi Esihle ngicela ulale.”
“Hayi usazochaza kahle what testing the waters actually means but let me let
you rest”. Thank God.
“Esihle?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you”
“For what?”

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“Making realise what I have with Lwandile.”
“That’s what sisters are for. Uthe angith I should sleep so stop disturbing me.”
Lol hay ke aksenani at least she knows.

**********

The whole day we’ve been bored. It’s in the afternoon and we are on our way
to Olwethu’s place, we will stay there for the rest of the week. He has a nice
town house in Ballito Bay. Lwa said he will fetch me as soon as we get to
Olwethu’s place, it would’ve been disrespectful to my brother if he took us
there. I can’t wait to spend time with him it’s been a while since we last spent
time together. We get to Olwethu’s place and this house is dirty, it seems like
they was a party here yesterday.
“Here are my lovely sisters ninjani koda?”. We are not even paying ttention to
him we are busy scanning this house that we are going to clean.
“Olwethu what happened in here?”, I ask looking at the mess.
“I had a little something something here yesterday. I’m so glad you guys are
here please help me clean up this mess mina ngsayathongena a few groceries”.
They is no such I know my brothers, that’s code for: Please clean the house for
me and I won’t be back till you guys finish. We don’t have a choice because if
we don’t clean the house nobody will. Let me text my bae first.
“Just got to Ballito, still cleaning the house. I will tell you when I’m done”.
“Can I get a cleaning company to come clean for you guys?”
“No baby it’s fine we will manage”.
“Ok, I love you”
“I love you more”. I can’t wait to see him, you’d swear I wasn’t with him yesterday.

We are now done cleaning and I’ve already texted Lwandile to come fetch me.
Olwethu is back, what a “coincidence” my brother will never change shame.
“Bo Sisi bami sacela nisho whose boyfriend is it that’s waiting outside”. I can
feel my heart drop and I quickly reach for my phone and I text my King.
“Are you outside?”
“Yes”. I’m old enough to date but I don’t make it that obvious to my brothers

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that I hooking up with someone at least not the older ones, the younger ones I
don’t care about. Me and my sisters haven’t said a word.
“Ntando??”. Why does he have to suspect me though?
“Haw yini? Futhi they is no car in front of the gate.”
“I didn’t say it’s in front of the gate, he parked two houses away but I know uze
la because that’s practically guy code of any guy oyo check”
“Ok ok it’s fine uze kimi. I have to go now”
“Hmmm ok, he has a nice G-Wagon, I hope it isn’t a man old enough to be your
father”
“Thank you and no he is not. Bye guys.” I get to the car and the bae is looking a
bit tense.
“Baby what’s wrong?”
“I think your brother saw me”. Lol ow that’s why he is uneasy.
“He did vele baby”. He looks at me shocked.
“Don’t look at me like that. Where are we going to?”
“What did he say?”
‘‘Nothing Lwandile, I asked you a question”
“We are going to our place”
“Which one?”. He giggles.
“Umhlanga, I have a surprise for you there”, I wonder what it could possibly
be. To be honest I don’t even care what it is but I just want to be with him.

We get to his place and he is looking excited and I have no idea why. The
moment he opens the house door I see rose petals everywhere, on the
hallway, on the steps and scented candles.
“Babe remember that other time you planned a romantic day for us then I
ruined it with coming with guests without informing you I told you that I would
make up for it and this is it”
“You cooked?”
“Yes babe I cooked, not Ma Goodness (the helper). I did ask her for some tips
though.”
“This is beautiful sthandwa sami, ngyabonga”, I really am touched I had already
forgotten about that”

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“Follow me my Lady”. We head to the dining room. I am absolutely blown
away it’s a romantic candle light dinner this is nothing like the setting I had,
they are so many roses and candles. It looks like valentine’s day.
“You did all this?”
“To be honest No, I wouldn’t even know where to start if had to do this. Do
you like it?”
“It’s amazing baby, thank you”, I have tears in my eyes.
“Babe please don’t cry”, he comes to me and hugs me. I love this man.
“Now come sit down”, he pulls my chair for me. I notice they are 3 boxes in
front of me, a big box, a medium box and a small tiny box I can’t help but
wonder what’s inside. Dinner is served and it is hella good, it’s mac and chesse
with green salad it tastes absolutely devine.
“Baby what’s in here”, I ask pointing at the boxes. He gives me the naughty
smile, this has to be interesting.
“Let’s finish eating first.” I’m so excited I really am curious.

We are done eating, I really can’t wait to see what’s in these boxes.
“Baby so what’s in the boxes?”
“Open the small box first box and take out what’s inside”. I open up the first
box and I find 2 pink fluffy hand cuffs. I’m confused.
“Open the next box”. I open it and I find massaging oils. Lol iheeeeee now this
is going to be interesting.
“Now open the last box”. I open the last box and I find a nice light grey kimono
and nice white fluffy slippers.
“Undress and wear the gown and slippers”. I giggle.
“It’s a kimono baby”, I do as he says but I still have my underwear on.
“Remove it”.
“But baby I can’t leave my undies lying around.”
“Our house, our rules”. ok I remove it and wear the kimono and slippers and
he picks up my clothes.
“Take the cuffs and the oils then follow me”. I don’t want to lie I am so excited
right now, I can’t wait to see what happens next. We go upstairs and enter
Lwa’s bedroom, this is cute they are roses on top of the and candles all over

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lighting up the room and they is music playing softly in the back ground.
“Lay on top of the bed on your chest so I can massage you.” I do exactly as he
says. This feels good, it is confirmed my King has magical hands. He eventually
removes Kimono and he starts massaging me EVERYWHERE including my ass
and cookie. To be honest I’m dying I’m super turned on and I’m breathing
super heavily, it feels goooooood.
“Sleep on your back babe”. He then starts massaging my neck, then he moves
to my breast, my stomach and then finally he gets to my thighs. They is a shock
that he is sending to my cookie as he massages my thighs and I can tell that he
is pleased.
“Do you like it?”. I can’t even speak so I just nod. I swear if I don’t get laid
today I will faint, he has never turned me on this much before. I need him.
He then moves to my legs and feet. I feel relaxed yet tense I can’t describe
What I’m feeling right now. As I am still lost in this little world that my King put
me in, Lwandile spreads my legs apart and massages my bean slowly ... Fuck
Lwandile he seems to know what my body needs and when it needs it, I
moaning right now this feels so good. My body is covered in massaging oils, I
like it. He gets up and takes off his clothes, he is now butt naked and Mr D is
excited and so am I. He gets in between my legs
and start kissing me passionately, I have never felt like this before. I can feel his
erected penis rubbing against me and it’s making things worse.
“I want to make love to you”, Lwa says whispering in my ear.
“Ok”, I agree without hesitating. I grasp for air. Lwandile’s thing is huge I didn’t
think it would fit but right now it’s hitting all the right places. This feels so
damn good, finally me and my lover are in the same world. I’m moaning so
loud right now. He is bumping and grinding on me so slowly, if this is how
making love feels like then I don’t think I’ve ever made love because what I’m
feeling right now is beyond what I could’ve imagined.
“I love you MaMthimkhulu”
“I love you too.” Gosh this is intimate on another level. He starts going faster,
I’m about to cum.
“Fuck Lwandile…. Fuck!!”, we come together. This was great, it was worth the
wait. We are both out of breath. He lays next to me and pulls me to his chest. I

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am absolutely tired, I need to rest.
“Round 2 babe?”, lol I see the Bae has been preparing for this day.
“Can I rest for a while I am finished “, He smiles and holds me close. I’m yet to
discover what the cuffs are for.

I wake up and I decided to look for my phone it’s probably downstairs, I need
to tell these girls that I won’t come back today I will deal with my brother
tomorrow. Damn 2 missed calls from my Olwethu and Akhona I won’t call
them now I’m not ready to explain a lot of things, I will just send a text to
Akhona.
“Sleeping at Lwa’s place tonight, see you guys tomorrow.” As I turn around I get shocked,
It’s Lwa and he is butt naked carrying the pink hand cuffs.
“You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry babe”, he says as he walks towards me and starts kissing me. I am
weak already, thinking about what happened earlier just gives me
goosebumps. He kisses my neck then he lifts me up and put’s me on the
dinning table, he puts his arms behind me then I lean back and he starts kissing
my breast. He then let’s go of me and then he pushes my legs up on the table
and he start’s rubbing my bean roughly, it’s unlike him but it feels good. He
then kneels and starts chowing the life out of my cookie, I’m super wet all over
again but this is more rougher but I love it. He then pulls me up and puts one
hand cuff on one hand and he cuff’s it to the chair and he does the same thing
with my other hand on the opposite chair now my chest is on the table and I’m
bended over. He then starts fucking me … I can’t move, I can’t stop him, I’m
just taking it and it feels amazing. He keeps going faster and faster, deeper and
deeper and I moaning louder and louder. I’m about to reach my max this is
amazing. He spanks my ass and pulls my waist faster and faster towards him,
this is too much.
“Ow fuck Lwandile, Fuck!!!”, I cum but bae isn’t stopping he continues
bumping and grinding me faster and faster. I want to tell him to stop but my
body doesn’t want to. He spanks me again I feel my blood boiling all over
again.
“FUCK LWANDILE ... FUCK YESSS!!!” I cum again I can’t believe this. I am

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drained I can barely do anything so bae carries me back to bed.

It’s probably midnight, I wake up and Lwandile isn’t in bed if I wasn’t at his
place I would probably feel cheap when I wake up and find him not there, I
probably wouldn’t even speak to him like ever again. I search around the house
and nothing they is no trace of Lwandile. I’m feeling a bit down, this is not how
I imagined how the first day we had sex would be like. A part of me feels used,
I want to leave but I can’t go to my brothers place right now so I’m practically
stuck here. This house feels so cold and lonely without him. I just called him
but he isn’t picking up, instead of being worried I am pissed. I will wait until he
comes back.

“Baby wake up”, I open my eyes and it’s Lwa. I fell asleep in the lounge waiting
for him.
“What time is it and where are you coming from?”
“Uhrm It’s 4am and I had to go check the shipment it got here sometime
before midnight.”
“You should’ve told me Lwandile, now I feel like some trash that was just used
for sex”. I really do feel used.
“Haw sthandwa sami I’m sorry, I wasn’t supposed to be the one checking the
shipment it was Shaka but he was not answering his phone so they called me.
I’m sorry I know I should’ve told you but you looked so peaceful and I didn’t
want to disturb you I thought I’d be gone for just 2 hours.” Yah neh it’s actually
starting to sink in my bae has a drug empire and now I’m a part of that life.
“Why should I trust you?”
“Because we both know I’m not seeing another woman and besides where else
would I be at midnight?” well he does have a point I don’t have reasons not to
trust him.
“Strip Club” I say trying to hide a smile and he giggles.
“That’s not my scene plus why would I need to go there when I can get my lap
dances here by the woman I love?”. I can see he is trying to soften me up and it
is working.
“Smooth talker”, I say punching his chest.

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“Come on babe lets go to bed”. He lifts me up from the couch and carries me
to the bedroom. As I lay on the bae’s chest I can’t help but wonder why he
chose to sex me yesterday out of all days.
“Baby tell me, before we had so many opportunities to have sex but we didn’t
so tell me why yesterday.”
“I didn’t want to rush things. I knew that this whole thing about me being a
coke supplier would freak you out and to be honest I wasn’t sure if you would
still be with me after you found out. I didn’t want you to regret having sex with
me or have a feeling that’s the only thing I wanted from you.”
“But Lwandile you’ve had sex with other women before but you never told
them about your business, so why did it matter with me”
“Because you are the only woman that’s ever made me feel this way. Before it
was just meaningless sex and now it’s different. You are still with me
regardless of everything. You love me for me and not what I have.” Lwandile is
really a sensitive person, I never expected this, it’s actually sweet that
everything between us actually means something to him. That’s rare.
“I love you Lwandile Zungu.”
“I love you too Ntando Mthimkhulu.”

I wake up and the sun is shining bright, that means we over slept but we are
not to blame we only slept in the am’s. I am in the arms of the man that I love
so trust me when I say they is no better way to start the day. Let me wake up
my King.
“Sthandwa sami wake up”. He opens his beautiful eye’s and I can tell he is
annoyed.
“Hayi babe why? Can’t we just sleep a bit longer”
“But baby I don’t want to sleep anymore.” I know I’m annoying him but I’m the
bae that’s my job.
“Ok fine!”. He says rubbing his eyes.
“So what do you want to have for breakfast?”
“You”. Lol ahhh kambe it’s morning. He pulls me to get on top of him.
“Kiss me”, he says giving me the naughty smile. I lean in to kiss him. He grabs
my ass and I feel some shock go straight to my cookie. I start kissing his neck

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and I go down slowly kissing his chest then his stomach and then finally my
favourite part, the v-line below his waist. I take off his underwear and I find Mr
D up and shining. I start by licking his head and I swirl my tounge around the
underside of his head like a lollipop. He starts grabbing the sheets. I lightly
squeeze Mr D as I move my head up and down, massaging it with my tongue. I
look at him and my king is enjoying this but so am I.
“Babe move”. Nope he is not escaping me that easily so I continue.
“Babe move, please”. I go faster and faster. Damn! He didn’t just … Lwandile
just took out his load in my mouth. I run to the bathroom to spit it out and I
rinse my mouth, I come back giving him the I’m going to kill you face.
“But Babe I told you to move”
“I thought you were just saying that because you were enjoying it not because
you were going to cum”
“I’m sorry babe come here.” I walk over to him and he kisses my forehead.

Breakfast is over actually that was more like lunch and I’m done cleaning the
house, it’s time for me to bath and go face my brother.
“Baby let’s go bath, I need to leave.” He starts sulking.
“But I don’t want you to leave”
“I don’t as well but I have to, I have some explaining to do to my brother.”
“Eish kambe they is still that”
“Yeap, so let’s take a bath.”
“I can’t wait to marry you so I can have you all to myself. I hate it when you
leave me.”
“I hate it too but for now this is our life. All good things take time my love”
“I know”.

We are in the shower with the Bae and things are steamy, my legs are wraped
around his waist and he has me pushed against the wall. I am super turned on
and so is he. He starts kissing my neck and my breast, I’m feeling hella weak
right now. He put’s his excited D in me and he is fucking the life out of me, I’m
moaning so loud right now and it seems to motivate him. He goes in faster and
deeper and I am in my own world right now.

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“I love you”
“I love you too”. He pushes deeper again and deeper, this is too much. I swear
Lwandile is too good at this whole sex thing, he pleases me to a point where I
feel like I am about to explode and lose my mind.
“FUCK LWANDILE … FUCK! FUCK!”, yeap I cum. He puts me down, kisses my
forehead and hugs me. I love him for reals. He then starts bathing me and I
bath him as well. We get out of the shower and his phone rings, it’s a unsaved
number I give him the phone and he put’s it on speaker.
“Hello”
“Is this Lwandile Zungu”, hayi noma kungathiwani this voice sounds familiar
infact it sounds like Olwethu.
“Who am I speaking to?”, he looks confused.
“Lalela la wena snayi! I’m want you to listen to me carefully I wan’t you to
bring my sister and after that I want you to Stay away from her”. I am frozen it
really is him, I’m confused why is he saying all of this phela I’m not a child
anymore and yesterday he didn’t seem to hate the idea of me leaving with
him. My babe doesn’t even seem to have a smidge of worry in his face.
“I will bring her back but with all due respect I can’t stay away from her
Ngyamthanda uNtandokazi”, inside I’m cheering GO BABY GO BABY but I don’t
want to lie I am confused I don’t know why Olwethu is doing this.
“Ok then test me”, he drops the call. I’m surprised, Lwandile has a temper but
he is not mad yet.
“I’m so sorry baby, I had no idea it was him”, I am hurt I don’t want to lie.
“Its ok babe”, he then pulls me close and hugs me then he kisses me. As I listen
to his heart beat I feel it console me, I can’t help but feel complete.
“Lets’s dress so I can take you back home.” This place has officially become
“my house”, I have some clothes, shoes and my toiletries here.

We are at Ballito Bay and Lwa’s car is parked 2 houses away from my brother’s
house, today we are riding in the Mercedees SL I must say out of all Lwa’s cars
this one has to be my favourite I see myself owning one just like it but Lwa
doesn’t drive it often.
“So I guess this is goodbye?”

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“Lwandile why are you saying that as if it’s the last time you are seeing me”
“I know it’s not but I hate saying goodbye to you”
“I know and I do too but it’s only for a day or two, it’s already 4pm so it’s
almost night time meaning you will just eat and go to bed so I doubt you will
even notice that I’m gone.”
“No I will, I miss you every second you are away from me even when I’m
sleeping I’m missing you”. I can’t help but blush. As I look up I see my brother
heading directly at us holding a gun, I didn’t even know had a gun.
“Baby you have to go”, I come out of the car and run to stop my brother who is
headed to open Lwandile’s door.
“Olwethu please stop what you are doing somebody is going to get hurt”
“NTANDO MOVE AWAY!!!”, he says while pushing me away.
“Ntando, let go of him and let him come to me”, Lwandile says getting out of
the car. K U Z O S H U B A. My worst nightmare right now is one of them
getting hurt.
“What did I say to you? Did I not tell you to stay away from my sister”, Olwethu
says pointing a gun at Lwa. I know what Lwandile is capable of but what scares
me now is that I know he won’t do anything to my brother and my brother
looks like is willing to take his life.
“You can do your worst but I will not stay away from your sister, I love her. As a
brother I understand that it’s not easy to accept your younger sister being in a
relationship but I promise I won’t hurt her. They is nothing I wouldn’t do for
her so with all due respect I want you to know I will not stay away from her not
for you or anybody.” I am so nervous right now bae’s words are hitting me real
deep.
“Lwandile you don’t deserve my sister, it’s not about money. I know exactly
who you are and what you do and I can’t allow my sister be with some one like
you. It is my duty to protect her and I will do anything to protect her.”
“Bro please just let him leave, LwAndile didn’t do anything it should be me that
you are dealing with. Ngyamthanda uLwandile, please.” He lowers his gun and
looks at me, I am in tears.
“I never want to ever see you around here ever again”, he then holds my arm
and drags me along with him. I can’t stop crying, I will never forgive my brother

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for what he just did. Lwandile is hurting, I know he hates seeing me in tears.
“It’s fine baby, just go”, I say as he tries following us.

We get inside the house and I feel nothing but hatered for my brother.
My sisters are watching tv and I just pass them without saying a word then I go
upstairs. They follow me.
“Ntando what’s wrong?”, they ask looking at me cofused and worried.
“Go ask your brother”. Esihle rushes downstairs and Akhona follows. I can hear
them arguing down stairs but I can’t be bothered. I get a text from bae:
“Sthandwa sami are you ok?”
“I will be. I’m so sorry about what happened today.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just worried about you, did he hurt you?”
“No he didn’t. Baby please promise me something.”
“Anything?”
“Promise that you won’t stay away from me. I know that my brother is an idiot but I love you and I
don’t want you to stay away from me”
“I promise babe I won’t. I don’t care even if he built a replica of the great wall of china and he put us
on separate ends I still wouldn’t stay away from you, I would walk till I got to you”.
“I love you my King”
“I love you more my Queen.” I feel my anger starting to subside, all I need now is to be
in my mans arms. My inner peace is disturbed by Olwethu, Esihle and Akhona
walking in. I don’t even want to talk about what happened and Olwethu is
definately the last person I want to see right now.
“Ntando I don’t regret what I did and given the opportunity I would do it again,
you need to stay away from him. He is not good for you and you will thank me
one day.”
“Not good for me? Kanti who is he dating me or you? Lalela when we were
younger we understood you being the over protective brother but now we are
grown and you will not make decisions for us. I choose who I want to be with
and not you! You might not be sorry about what you did today but I feel sorry
for you because you not only embarrassed yourself but if you keep doing
things like this you won’t have a sister to “protect”. LwAndile is a part of of my
life and the sooner you accept the better things will be for you. Now please
leave me alone.”

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“You are still proving my point, I am your older brother how dare you talk to
me like that? This is my house Ntando and what I say goes and for as long as if
you guys are here I have to protect you. Listen to me carefully that thing of
your’s must not dare come and pick you up because he will regret it”, he
storms out of the bredroom. I have never seen Olwethu this mad about
anything kanti what happened because I know he is not mad because I didn’t
sleep here since he hasn’t said anything about that.
“Guy’s what happened?”, Esihle and Akhona must really tell me because they
were the one’s here with him.
“Well we were all just chilling and he asked us what’s the name of your
boyfriend so since he didn’t seem to hate the idea of you having a boyfriend
we told him and to our surprise he knew his surname. He started losing it
esbuza ukuthi where are you and stuff, we didn’t tell him of course”, Akhona.
“Where did he get Lwa’s number from? Phela he called him and started
threatening him.” These girls are just as confused and shocked as I was so it’s
obvious they didn’t give Olwethu the numbers.
“Akhona I think it’s the time Olwethu asked borrow him your phone because
he thought Ntando was ignoring his calls so he wanted to check if she would
ignore yours as well. He must’ve checked for Lwa’s number at that time”,
Esihle recalls. I must say this is unlike Olwethu I don’t know why he hates
Lwandile so much.
“We are so sorry Ntando”, Esihle says as they hug me.
“It’s fine guys it wasn’t your fault.”
“So whats going to happen now?”, Akhona asks looking worried.
“Well first things first we can’t let him find out that you guys are dating Shaka
and Zethu because right now we don’t even know how he knows Lwandile so
we need to be careful.”
“Ntando I was not talking about that, I meant between you and Lwandile?”
“I am not going to stay away from LwAndile, whether Olwethu likes it or not I
really do love LwAndile so if he want’s me to stay away from him he would
have to kill me because that is not going to happen.” They are both smiling and
looking at me funny.
“Why are you guy’s looking at me like that?”

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“Lol because you are glowing and in love”, Esihle answers looking me more
weirdly. She gets up and starts laughing and covering her face. She has
officially lost it.
“Why didn’t I notice this earlier you got some didn’t you???? You and Lwandile
did the dirty.”
“Lower your voice Esihle, Olwethu might be listening”
“She isn’t even denying it”, Akhona adds on smiling like she is about to
advertise colgate toothpaste.
“Details girl, Details!!!”, Esihle shouts out as she sits next to me.
“Ok yes we did do the dirty deed and that’s that”. Even though we have never
talked about this I know that they have already done the deed with Shaka and
Zethu.
“Ntando those aren’t details”, yoh Esihle can really be annoying at times.
“Haw Esihle whats’s there to say, it was good … great … no infact it was mind
blowing”, they are giggling as I say this closing my eyes.
“It’s about time!!”, Akhona says hitting hands with Esihle.
“What ever guys but it was worth the wait.” I just realised how much I missed
their company. I love my sisters even though sometimes we have our
differences they always have my back.

It’s 7pm and we haven’t cooked, it’s our way of punishing our brother but it
didn’t work since he ended up buying take aways, I don’t want anything to do
with him at this moment.
“Ntando!”, Esihle calls out my name as she runs into the room.
“What’s up?”
“Olwethu is here with a girl, she wants to meet us”
“Is she pretty?”. I don’t care how mad I am or how close I am to any of my
brothers but one thing is constant I don’t want them to have ugly girlfriends, I
can’t risk having ugly nieces and nephews.
“Yeap lets go.” I really want to see her. As I walk down the stairs I can’t believe
it … it’s Zama, Lwandile’s ex. This has got to be the worst day ever, she is also
startled as see’s me.
“What are you doing here?”, I ask looking frustrated. My sisters and Olwethu

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are shocked, they know that I am not one that is rude without being provoked.
“Ntando you can’t speak to my guest like that. Babe I sorry about that anyways
this is my sister Ntando and Ntando this is Zama my girlfriend”, he says
fondling with this bitch. I am not pleased at all, after what she did she has
made a bad name in my books. When your ex moves on, what level of crazy do
you have to be on to track him and his new girlfriend and “confront them” at
the middle of the night. Who does that anyways, that is super psychotic.
“I asked you a question Zama?!”
“Ntando I am sorry”, she answers as she drills the floor with her eyes. My
sisters are confused and so is Olwethu.
“Am I missing something?”, Olwethu asks looking at us. Zama is looking at me
with those “please don’t say anything” eyes. For my brother’s sake I won’t say
anything. I don’t say anything and I run upstairs, I need to calm down.
“Ntando what just happened out there?”, Esihle asks looking at me confused.
“That’s Zama, the same Zama that came banging on Lwa’s door the the time
we were in Portshep Stone”. My sisters are absolutely jaw dropped.
“You lie!!”. This means our brother is dating a complete psycho”, Akhona is
shocked.
“Just leave her guys, they is nothing we can do about this let them be”.
“Are you sure? Because we can go WWE smackdown on her?”, Esihle says
hitting her fist on the other hand. Lol this girl is crazy, me and Akhona start
laughing our asses off.
“They is no need for that guy’s let’s just let her be”
“So we are just going to spend the night listening to our brother have sex”,
Esihle says crossing her arms.
“Let’s go to the movies.”
“Sounds like a plan, lets get ready”, Akhona emphisizes. I really do need a
breather after todays drama. Let me call my baby first.
“Sthandwa sami”, his voice does the works on me I must admit.
“Hey baby unjani?”
“I’m good, how are you? Are you ok?”
“No I’m not, Zama is here.”
“Doing what?”, yeap he is mad.

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“Apparently she is dating my brother now”
“What???”
“My reaction exactly. I felt like jumping on top of her and giving her the
beating of her life.”
“I’m glad you didn’t just let them be babe, Zama is a bitch whatever they have
going on will die out soon.” It’s unlike LwAndile to speak about a woman like
this, it has me wondering what happened between them.
“If you say so babe, but vele what happened between you guys? She was
clearly obsessed with you.”
“Long story babe. Did you talk to your brother?”
“We have nothing to talk about, not after what he did to you. If my brother
really was concerned he was going to sit me down and talk to me like a grown
up but he didn’t do that.”
“Sthandwa sami he is your brother, you need to make peace with him”
“Shouldn’t you be on my side?”
“I am babe but you know that what I’m saying is right.”
“Ok I will talk to him.”
“That’s my girl.”
“Baby I need to get ready to go to the movies so I have to go”
“Should I send a driver?”
“No baby we will just call an uber.”
“Ok babe but from there you go straight back home. I love you”. Lol LwAndile
must not dare me.
“I love you too but I can’t make any promises.”
“Ntando !!!”
“Bye Mr Zungu”. I love my King for real. As I’m stuck in my little love bubble I
get a notification, Lwa sent me R2000. I don’t know what it’s for let me ask
him.
“What’s the money for baby?”
“The movies, enjoy.”
“Thank you baby”. One thing I learnt from Aunt’s is that when a man acts like a man
let him be, Lwa knows I didn’t need money
but the last thing I should do is challenge him and reject his offer.

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The movie date was awesome, we first had supper and then watched a movie.
We are on our way back home as Bae Lwa instructed. Me and my sisters had a
great night together, we even had time to catch up which is something we
haven’t done in a long ass time. I missed them.

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 CHAPTER 7

It’s the am’s and these girls are still asleep so is my brother and his psycho, I
wan’t to talk to him now so I can get this over and done with this. I personally
don’t know why I should be the first one to reach out to my brother, he is the
one at fault not me but I will do it because I told my King that I would. If it
weren’t for him I wouldn’t even bother. As I walk towards his room all I can
smell is cake and I am annoyed by the thought that this Zama chick had sex
with Lwa and now my brother, it’s disgusting. I knock in his room.
“Who is it?”. WTF?? kanti who is staying with in this house. I open the door
and they this strong after sex smell and its disgusting because my brother was
a part of that.
“Haw Ntando what do you want?”
“Meet me downstairs we need do talk and while at it open a window or two
this place stinks”. He clicks his tounge.
“I’m coming”. To be honest I have no idea what to say to him but I will just
have to figure it out. Shortly after I walk oout he follows me.
“What is it?”
“Hayi lalela you need to stop giving me that attitude you are a fully grown man
and it’s annoying. You are the big brother but you sure as hell aint acting like
it.” He is shocked I just spoke to him like that but I had to in order to get his
attention. He sits down and looks at me.
“I’m listening”
“I need you to make me understand what happened yesterday. I know that
they is a deeper story to it.”
“I know you say you love him but LwAndile sells drugs Ntando, he is a
dangerous guy. He is not good enough for you. He is far from what you think
he is but I know that is not the type of guy you want to be with and he is not
the guy you deserve.”
“I know about the drugs. Why are saying he is dangerous?”
“YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DRUGS NTANDOKAZI??? THE SAME DRUGS THAT
TOOK SANELE AWAY FROM US AND YOU ARE STILL WITH THAT GUY??”. Why is

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shouting at me though? I said I wanted to talk to him not a lecture.
“Stop Shouting at me! Yes we lost Sanele to drugs but you fighting Lwandile
won’t bring him back either. Believe me when I say I was just as mad and hurt
as you are when I found out, infact it was worse for me because I love him. Lwa
didn’t choose the life he is living and as much as you might think you know
everything you don’t, I’m also still trying to figure him out. Kodwa Bhuty wami I
love Lwandile with all my heart, I know that our love is still new but I really
want to see where our relationship is going. I am not saying like him but please
tolerate him for me. I know you want to protect me but you can’t protect me
from love, I know Lwandile might not be the ideal guy you see me with but you
can’t stop me from going out with him only I can make that decision.” He looks
calm and touched by what I just said.
“What you are asking me to do is not easy sis, it’s not easy at all.”
“I know but please bro I promise I won’t ask you for anything ever again”
“Ok it’s fine but just to be clear I am doing this for you and not him.”
“Thank you bro”, I get up to hug him. I hate arguing with him but now that’s
out the way I feel relieved.
“I really don’t like this.”
“I know but we are young please let us make our own mistakes.”
“You also need to do one thing for me.”
“What is it?”
“Tolerate Zama for me. I don’t know how you guys know each other and why
you don’t get along but I really like her.”
“Ok I will try.” As I go up the stairs I meet Zama, I feel like my little inner joy
bubble burst. I said I would try to tolerate her not like her.
“Ntando wait!”, she says holding my arm. I look at her hand then she removes
it.
“I really am sorry about all those bad things I said to you that night I was still
hurting and when I heard that Lwa had moved on I lost my mind and I didn’t
know how to process everything then I ended up coming to his place and
embarrassing myself. I really am sorry about what I did and can you please also
apologize to Lwandile for me. Also thanks for not telling your brother about
what happened. I really do appreciate it.” I am not buying any of this nonsense

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I will never like this girl.
“I did that for my brother and not you. Excuse me.”
I’m not a cruel person but I don’t like this girl something about her just gives
me the bad vibes. Anyways let me call my King and tell him the good news.
“Babe”, he answers the phone with a sleepy voice. Hawu ngeke Lwandile is still
asleep.
“Baby wake up, it 9am why are you still sleeping?”
“My alarm isn’t with me anymore angithi”. That is the most insulting yet most
adoring thing I’ve ever heard.
“I wonder what that means, anyways I won’t let you spoil my mood guess
what?”
“Babe it’s a bit too early for guessing games just tell me.”
“I talked to my brother about us.”
“What did he say?”, he sounds more awake as he asks.
“I knew that would get your attention, well we are in the clear he doesn’t
neccesarily support the whole idea but he will accept it.”
“That’s great babe!” he sounds as excited but so am I.
“So can I see you today?”
“Well babe I have some business to do but can we see each other later?” I am
feeling kind of down.
“Ok”
“Haw babe don’t do me like that, ok how about I drop by to see you before I go
to the depot?”
“Ok baby that’s fine with me. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I am in a good mood me and these girls need to go out and
have a little girls day out.

The girls are up, we just had breakfast made by Zama and my brother. Me and
the girls are planning to go out for lunch, then a movie, then the mall will
direct us from there. Lwa said he will be here in 15 minutes and I can’t wait to
see him. It’s so awkward in this house with Zama being here.
“So when are you leaving?”. Esihle just took the words right out of my mouth. I
know it’s not polite to ask a visitor that but we don’t like her, I wonder when

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she is leaving.
“Listen up, you guys need to start being more respectful to Zama. She is my
girlfriend and you guys need to get used to the idea of her being around.” Lol
my brother can’t be serious.
“It’s fine love, let them be”, Zama says trying to calm down my brother.
“Vele vele what’s going on here? All four of you are hiding something from me
and I want to know now!!”. I look at Zama and she is drilling the floor, I would
love to tell my brother about her crazy girlfriend but that’s her place not mine.
“Ntando, tell me.”. Why me though?? I just started being on talking terms with
him now he wants to start bad vibing again. My phone rings, it’s Lwa.
“Uhrm bro it’s nothing. Excuse me but I have to take this call”, I say as I go
towards the door.
“Baby are you here?”
“Yes”. Just in time I must say, he just saved me from the awkward vibes in this
house. I walk out and he is parked 2 houses away as usual. I can see these days
he is more into driving the SL.
“Hey baby”
“How are you doing Sthandwa sami?”
“I’m ok but you don’t look too good.”
“I’m just a bit tired that’s it but I’m ok”
“Why didn’t you just take a day off and I was going to come massage you”, I
say winking at him.
“I would’ve loved that but theres work that needs to be done.”
“Ow well you missed out.”
“But they is still tonight”, he says giving me the dirty smile.
“Kiss me”, I instruct him and he leans to kiss me. Lwa’s lips are so soft so when
he slow kisses me I feel myself my cookie crumble. Just as I am still enjoying
our moment Lwa’s phone rings and he ignores it. Right now my cookie is
begging for some attention, we are both turned on and I bet the only thing
stopping us from having sex here is that my brother is only 2 houses away and
we in a public road in broad day light. His phone rings again and again and now
it’s abit hard to ignore.
“Baby answer it”

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“Eish these people don’t have timing. Babe I know it’s Shaka, I have to go.” My
cookie is crying right now and internally so am I.
“Ok baby”, I’m sulking.
“Take this”, he hands me his black card.
“Take it and go out with your sisters and have fun. Do what ever you want with
it.” He adds on, I am astonished to say the least.
“Haibo baby no I don’t need this, yesterday you sent me money for the movies
that I still haven’t used up it should be more then enough.” I have never had a
guy give me his card before, lets leave out that I have never had a guy that
spoils me like Lwa.
“Ntando take the card and do as I say we are not going to debate about this.
Tell me when you guys are ready and I will call my driver and ask him to drive
you guys to wherever you want to go, he is yours for the day.”
“Thank you baby, I really do appreciate this.”
“Anything for my Queen.” He says after kissing my forehead.
“Let me let you go to work,”
“I will see you later babe, I love you.”
“I love you more.”
I walk in the house looking all excited, the effect that Lwa has on me is scary
yall I can’t wait to tell the girls that we have Lwa’s card, to be honest I don’t
even know what I’m going to do with this card.
“You really do love him.”, I turn around and I’m surprised to see my brother.
“I do.”
“But be careful Ntando, especially with that man.”
“I know Olwethu.’’
“Just know that I warned you”, my brother is really going to spoil my mood.
“I know what I’m doing.” Let me leave him before we get into another
argument again. I go to our room and these girls are done bathing and they are
now doing their make up.
“Do you guys want me to book us for a full body massage and we will also do
menicures and pedicures?” They look at me and start laughing.
“Ntando you are a big dreamer”, Esihle says still giggling.
“Who will pay for it”, Akhona asks sarcastically.

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“Do you want to or not?”
“We do”, Akhona shouts out. I call a Spa in Musgrave and make an
appointment for 1pm. These girls are shocked they can’t believe that just
actually happened.
“Stop looking at me like that and get ready”.

Our spa treatment was absolutely devine, I feel so relaxed and we have our
nails done. I’ve bought Lwa some clothes and sneakers that I know he will like.
I am now having lunch with the girls now and I must say I am having a good
time.
“So Ntando how are you going to thank him?”, Esihle asks with a smile.
“I haven’t thought about that”
“Sex him back to sleep girl”, Akhona says giggling. Lol these girls are just nasty.
“Haibo Guys”
“Cummon Ntando he deserves it”, Esihle.
“He definitely does. We will go look for a sexy number I can wear for him.” I
must admit this excites me.

We are done with lunch, now we walking shop to shop looking for thee perfect
lingerie for bae Lwa. Speak of the devil Lwa is calling.
“Baby”
“Sthandwa sami I was just calling to check up on you, are you having fun?”
“Yes I am, thank you so much my King”
“Anything for my Queen, enjoy the rest of your day and please don’t forget to
get me something.”
“Don’t worry I’m on it as we speak. I love you Manzini”
“I love you too Makhulukhulu”. I really can’t wait to see my King today, I want
to spoil him and treat him like the king he is to me.
“Ntando this is the one”, Esihle says excitedly. I love it, it’s a white lace g-string
bodysuit, it’s a boobtube and at the back it has these zig zag strings that will
pull everything together. It’s abit on the pricy side but this is his gift not mine
so I might as well.
“We definitely have a winner.” I can’t wait to see his reaction when he sees me

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wearing this.
It’s 6pm and the day is over, I had an awesome day with the girls now it is time
for me to freshen up and go to Bae’s place I am so excited. We get in the house
and Zama is still here, I guess my brother meant it when he said we should get
used to the idea of her being around. I’m done bathing and I’m wearing the
sexy number underneath and I’ve packed my clothes now I’m waiting for Bhut’
Sya to get here (the driver).
“Uyaphi?”, my brother asks.
“Ngiya kuLwandile”.
“What do you see in this guy?”
“Everything that you’re not seeing. He loves me and he treats me like a
Queen.”
“Don’t you thingk hlampe he fed you some love love potion?” I laugh. My
brother is silly.
“Why can’t you be happy that I’m happy?”
“You happiness is important to me but I’m still trying to figure out why him?”
“I don’t know. I guess it was just meant to be. I have to go Bhut’ Sya is here. I
will see you tomorrow ... maybe.” I know it’s going to take my brother a while
before he adjusts to the idea of me dating Lwa but the sooner the better it’s
going to be for him.

I am at Lwa’s place and all I can think about is sexual healing but it’s not my
fault he teased me this morning and it wasn’t nice. We are watching tv in the
lounge having dinner.
“I’m so glad you came babe. I missed you”
“Baby I wasn’t here only for a day”
“It felt like a year to me”
“That’s just the baby in you speaking.”
“Now that dinner is over can I have dessert?” He pulls me close and kisses me,
I’m excited I have been waiting for this all day. I take off his t-shirt I like the feel
of his skin. Our moment is ruined by the ring of the door bell.
“I’m sorry babe”, he says. He gets up to open the door and he comes back with
the tsotsi looking guy I saw him with the other time.

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“Sawbona MaMthimkhulu”, he says after removing his hat.
“Babe it’s business, I will be with you in a few”. I am really mad Lwandile knew
that it’s supposed to be our moment right now but he is letting “work” get in
the way of that.
“Sawbona, forgive me but I don’t know your name”
“Just call me Sk.”
“Ok nice to meet you Sk and Lwandile don’t even bother I’m going to bed.” My
smile from Sk quickly changes when I call out Lwa’s name. I am so pissed, what
Lwandile is wrong infact come to think of it I liked it better when he was still
hiding the coke business away from me at least then he made time for me now
I feel like he is too comfortable. My surprise of him will just go to waste and my
big reveal is ruined, I hate him for his. You know guys have no idea how much
effort women put into these little surprises we do inorder to make them
happy. I guess they will never know either.

It’s 9pm and I’m in bed … alone I’m waiting for Lwa to come to bed I want to
punish him my way, I’m in bed wearing only the sexy bodysuit I was planning
to surprise him with. I’m pretending to be sleeping so that when he walks in he
regrets every moment of choosing to do business during our time. I can hear
him waking up the stairs so I push the comforter on top of me me down.
“Babe?”, he says as he opens the door. I sense him coming near me, I am so
excited though I must admit. Next thing I feel him touch me

“Dammit!! Why did it have to be tonight?” I feel like smiling right now but I
have I to compose myself.
“Babe please wake up”
“Leave me alone”
“Sthandwa sami I’m sorry I didn’t know”. I’m still pulling the “I’m sleepy act”
and he seems to be buying it.
“We will talk in the morning”. I turn my my back him (P.s I am wearing a g-
string bodysuit).
“FUCK!! Ok but I won’t be able to sleep with you in this.”
“Deal with it”. He is not having it, he gets on top of me and and starts kissking

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my face.
“Babe I really am sorry”
“No you are not. I missed you and right now it was supposed to be our time
but instead you sacrificed our time to do business. I know that work is a
priority but you said that tonight was going to be our time instead you didn’t
respect that. If you think that giving me money will replace you not giving me
your attention then you have another thing coming.”
“Babe I think you are taking this too far. It’s not like that at all, I do respect our
time but this was a minor thing, I asked Sk to give me feed back about delivery
asap so that’s why he had come here.”
“Lwandile I am not interested about the details of your business. You don’t get
the point!!”, my voice is getting more firm as I speak.
“Ntando calm down I don’t want an argument.”
“Leave me alone I just want to rest”
“Babe sisakhuluma nje, you can’t just turn your back on me when we are
talking.”
“What ever Lwandile just fuck off”, opps! Did I just say that.
“NTANDO UTHINI?!!! Who do you think you are talking to?!!”
Ok I know I shouldn’t of said that, it’s disrespectful but it just slipped out I
didn’t mean to say that. Lwandile is shouting at me and I hate it when he does
this. I sit up straight, now I know I have to apologize the tables have changed.
“Ngyaxolisa Manzini, I am out of line”
“Don’t ever talk to me like that ever again.”
“I won’t sthandwa sami ngyaxolisa”. He still looks a bit mad so it’s seduction
time right now. I lay him on the bed and I take out his t-shirt … again and I start
kissing his neck, he doesn’t seem to be buying it but I have to keep trying.
“Ntando wenzani?”
“Baby I’m sorry”, he seems to be melting a bit but akana choice he has to I
can’t have my King mad at me. I continue kissing him, I sit on top of him and he
starts untying my bodysuit, bruuh I am so excited I don’t want to lie. We finally
butt naked and I have my lower body hovering over his head so he can
pleasure my cookie while I blow him. This feels absolutely epic, Lwa is killing

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me he is abit too rough with my cookie but its havin a good effect on me. I am
enjoying every minute of this. He then grabs my legs and tosses me aside and
he gets on top. He looks like he is in a sexual spell I’ve never seen him like this
before. He starts fucking me … hard really really hard he looks like a beast. I am
moaning so loud, I swear if the neighbours and security haven’t heard me then
they have ear problems.
“Apologize”, Lwa whispers in my ears. This guy can not be serious.
“Huh?”
“I said Apologize”, he says with a firmer voice going deeper. I completely lose
it, this so far has to be the most amazing sex I’ve had with Lwa. Today he has
reached new heights.
“I’m sorry”, I say in my horny voice.
“What am I to you?”. I am dying here this is some real punishment.
“Baby please stop”
“Answer me!!”
“My man.”
“And what does that mean to you?”, he says going deeper once more.
“Uhrm yessss, ahhh It means I should love, take care and respect you”
“Don’t ever disrespect me again!”
“I promise I wont I’m sorry”, bruh this is not me talking it’s the cookie obeying
the D. He goes faster, I feel my blood boil and I am about to have a fit.
“FUCK YESSS, FUCK LWANDILE FUCK!!!”, that felt good. I am so drained.
He gets off me, lays next to me, pulls me to his chest and kisses my forehead.
“What was that?”, I have to ask.
“Your punishment, you really annoyed me with what you said and since you
seemed to be in the mood I thought I should use this opportunity. Don’t ever
talk to me like that ever again, Siyezwana?”
“Yes baby I’m sorry”. Admittedly if this is what being punished feels like then
sign me up for some more. But on the reals I can do with some more of him.
Lwa brings out the good, crazy, freaky woman in me. I love the person I am
when I am with him. He keeps quiet, I can tell he is deep in his thoughts I can
tell he is worried about something.
“Baby talk to me please I can tell that something is bothering you.”

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“The thought of you heading back to Potch just hit me because once you
head back to school I won’t get to see as often as I please.” I really haven’t
thought about this and to be honest I’m not ready for the reality of what
happens after all of this.
“Baby we will figure it as time goes by, don’t worry about it. Can we please get
some rest.”
“Ok babe. Ngyakthanda MaMthimkhulu”
“Ngyakthanda nami Manzini”. He then kisses my forehead. I really do love him,
a part of me is scared because I do not know what to expect in the future but I
am ready for what ever life throws at us. Who would’ve thought that Lwandile
would be such a big part of my life in such a short period of time.

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 Chapter 8
It’s a Sunday but it’s New Years Eve, Shaka is throwing a huge bash at his house
so we will go there during the day to help with the preperations and cooking
then at 6pm we will go to Lamontville because our brothers and friends are
also hosting a party there. It’s 1pm and we are waiting for Zethu to come pick
us up to take us to Shaka’s place, Olwethu and Zama slept at Lamont yesterday
and thank God for that.
“Guys lets go Zethu is outside”, she screams from upstairs. She is the one who
isn’t done getting ready, whats new. She comes rushing downstairs her phone
is ringing it must be Zethu but she is ignoring it.
“Let’s go guys lets go.” We get to Zethu’s car and he starts shouting at Akhona,
its cute he doesn’t look like the type that would shout at someone. As me and
Esihle are admiring the couple arguing, I get a call from bae Lwa.
“Baby”
“Babe where are you?”
“We are on our way, Zethu has already picked us up”
“Ok, see you in a few”.

We get to Shaka’s place and this this house is beautiful. As we enter the door
we meet Mbali with 2 other girls.
“Hey Mbali, how are you?”
“I’m good, guy’s these are my friends Busi and Sne”, they are two beautiful
girls Busi is fair in complexion just like Mbali but Sne is a bit darker in
complexion, they are both short.
“Nice to meet you I am Ntando and these are my sisters Esihle and Akhona”,
right now I am keeping an eye out for my sisters I know how they can be at
times. But they are behaving so thank you Lord for that. We proceed outside
where the guys are chilling drinking their Whiskey. I haven’t seen my baby in a
day but it feels like it’s been a year. As as I see him I go and sit on top of him,
he welcomes me with a kiss.
“Unjani babe?”
“I’m ok I just missed you and how are you Mr Zungu?”
“Great now that you are here”. We are ignoring all the people surrounding us
we are in our own love bubble.

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“So vele vele you guys are going to cuddle and fondle as if we are not here?”
“Sawbona nawe Shaka”, hayi somethings will never change.
“I was just asking Makoti, are you ok though?”
“Yes I am ok, Greetings to everyone else”. They all greet back, I can even see
faces of 2 guy’s I don’t know as well as Bonga and Sthe I haven’t seen them in a
while. As I look at Shaka and Esihle they are also fondling with it each other but
I won’t disturb them like Shaka disturbed us. I tell Akhona to go with me to the
kitchen, Esihle will follow us when she is done. We get to the kitchen and we
see 5 girls we don’t know they are drinking in the kitchen. We greet them and
introduce ourselves but these girls have attitude, Esihle walks in and does the
same and she can note the same thing. She is getting irritated by them.
“Calm down don’t mind them any business. What do you need us to do?” I say
trying to calm her down.
“Hayi who are they vele? Nxxx these girls are coming here with their ghetto
attitude”
“Calm down Esihle”, Akhona emphisizes.
“Ok fine, uhrm well first let’s organise snacks and ice for the guys outside and
then after that we need to make them food they say they are hungry”. We do
just as she says, Mbali and her friends then join us in the kitchen. The ghetto
girls get up and leave and thank God for that.
“Ok and then what was that about?”, Mbali asks.
“Trust me you don’t want to know”, Akhona says giggling.
“Esihle what are we going to give the guys for lunch?”, I ask.
“Hayi we will order Nandos for them, nathi phela we need to relax the catering
company will be here around 4pmfor preps”. Fine with me. Esihle calls and
places a order with Mr Delivery.

We are in the lounge drinking my fav and wine lovers are drinking wine. As
expected of any group of women drinking we are speaking about fashion,
movies and now we are talking about eye candy men.
“But guys I have a confession”, Busi says. We are listening attentively to what
she has to say.
“I have a small crush on Zethu”. I feel like laughing my ass off right now, this

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was unexpected as I look at Akhona I see she is jealous.
“Hands off Busi”, Mbali says whilst giggling.
“Why? Is he taken?”. Esihle starts laughing as well, all 3 of us then look at
Akhona.
“Yes, by Akhona”, I say covering my face. Akhona doesn’t find this funny at all.
J E A L O U S Y.
“OMG! I’m so sorry Akhona I had no idea”. The poor girl is embarrassed she
can’t even look at Akhona.
“It’s fine”, Akhona says.
“And then Ntando who are you dating, your sisters are clearly here because of
the baes.” Sne asks.
“No one, I just tagged along.” I say sipping on my glass.
“Ow really now?”, Lwa asks entering the lounge. It was just a joke I hope he
doesn’t take it seriously, Mbali, Esihle and Akhona are now laughing at me.
“I was just kidding baby”, I say looking at him.
“Wabanjwa!!”, Sne says laughing.
“Can I please talk to you single lady?”, Lwa says starring at me. I get up and I
follow him. We enter a bedroom not to far from the lounge.
“Whats up pumpkin?”. He giggles.
“Pumpkin?? Really? Hayi you are something else. I just called you in here
because I miss you, Shaka disturbed our meet and greet earlier.”
“Is that so Mr Zungu?” I say put my hands on his shoulders. He kisses me.
“Yes”, he says then he kisses me some more. I’m starting to get turned on but I
have to hold myself, we can’t be humping and grinding each other with guests
in the house not to mention that this is somebody elses house.
“Stop baby”, I command him as he reaches for my jeans.
“Why??”
“Not here baby”
“I wasn’t going to do anything.” Sounds good to me. I go back for another kiss.
He throws me on the bed then kisses me some more, he unbuttons my shorts
and puts his hand down my shorts it feels hella good.
“This is mine”, he whispers in my ear. I giggle, I don’t understand why he would
choose to say this now. He stops then looks at me in admiration.

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“I love you”, he says.
“I know you do”.
“Haw no “I love you too” nyana?”
“You know I love you”. He blushes.
“Vele! Come on babe lets go to the others I just wanted a bit of us time”. I get
up, botton my shorts and straighten then bed. He holds my hand and we go
back to the real world. He goes outside and I go to the kitchen, the girls are
there dishing up for gents.

As we go outside to serve the bae’s we see the group of ghetto chicks chilling
with the Bae’s, 2 of them are sitting on Bonga’s and Sthe’s laps why didn’t I
think about his sooner these girls must’ve come with them. The other 2 girls
are dancing and twerking and the other girl is sitting inbetween Shaka and Lwa.
All of the girls in the house are so disgusted and I can’t stop laughing. We get
to them and we serve the guys food first. These girls are giving us the bad eye
as if we said they won’t get food, we aren’t that heartless.
“Do you guys need anything else?”, Esihle asks the gents.
“Yebo sis can we please have our food”, the girl sitting on Bonga’s lap says.
I can sense world war 3 coming, Esihle looks at here as if some WWE
smackdown shit is about to happen.
“I’m quite sure you know where the kitchen is”, Esihle says walking away. I
know she would’ve said worse if these guys weren’t here. We follow her, the
guys can sense the tension for sure but these girls must be mad if they think
we are going to are serve them. All the ladies are in the house serving
themselves and bona the expect us to serve them, who do they think they are?
“I thought you were going to hit her”, I really thought she was.
“I wanted to mntase but it wasn’t worth it.” As we are still talking in the
kitchen the ghetto girls walk in.
“Where are the plates?”, the girl who was sitting on Sthe asks. I can Esihle
getting even more mad so I take them out. We are all looking at them and
believe me when I say they is nothing descent about these girls.
“Ladies lets go have our lunch”, I say trying avoid the fight I sense coming. I like
being the peace maker for once. Luckily they listen and we all follow each

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other to the lounge.
“WTF was that?”, Akhona asks as we sit down.
“Hayiii Mbali your friends really have taste”, I say to her since she has known
them longer meaning she has tolerating this for a while.
“Ntando believe me when I say for as long as I’ve known these guy’s Bonga and
Sthe have never had good taste in women but it’s never been this worse. This
has reached another level.” We all laugh. As much as this isn’t funny but
Hey! we have to make the best out of the worst we don’t really have a choice
but to tolerate this.

Its around 6 pm and people are starting to pour in. Esihle, Akhona and I
decided to take a bath and change before we leave. Mbali isn’t too pleased
about us leaving but we promised we would come back after midnight, well
that’s if the Bae’s are not too drunk to fetch us. I am already done now I’m
waiting for the girls, then I get a text from Olwethu.
“Where are you guys?”
“Still freshing up we will be there in an hour”
“Ok.” Crisis diverted, I thought he was going to say he is at his place to pick us
up.
“Guy’s finish up phela!!”
“We are almost done “
“Ok let me go say goodbye to Lwandile, you guys will find me down stairs”.

I go to the garden and and I see one of those tramps brushing my man, now I
am starting to get mad for reals I have tolerated their nonsense for a while
now. Enough is enough.
“And then?” I ask standing infront of them.
“Babe we are just talking.” He looks guilty though.
“Bye Lwandile”. I walk away.
“Babe wait!” he says coming after me.
“Yini?”
“Babe calm down, why are you even mad you ukuthi that’s not my type we
were just talking”

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“Ok ke can I leave?”
“Ntandokazi come on”
“You guys were flirting and you were entertaining her.” He keeps quiet, that
means what I’m saying is true. I walk away and I bump into Mbali, I have tears
in my eyes because he didn’t even run after me.
“Whats wrong?”
“Go ask Lwandile, excuse me please.” I also walk away from here I run upstair
and I find Shaka and Esihle making out. Great just when I needed to talk to
them, I have no idea where Akhona could be and I also assume that she is with
Zethu. Right now I just want to leave, I am mad and I just want to cry but most
all I have no one to talk to. I am at the pool, its quiet at this side of the house. I
am crying my lungs out, I know what Lwandile did is not the worst thing ever
but I am short tempered and I have some alcohol running in me so I might as
well.
“Are you ok?”. I hear this nice strange radio type deep voice, I look up and I see
this nice caramel in complexion guy who is good looking. He is tall.
“Yes I’m ok”
“This is new I have never met someone who is crying at a party before”, he
says as he sits next to me.
“Well they is a first time for everthing”
“So are you going to tell me whats up?”
“I rather not talk about it. What are you doing this side anyways?”
“I was on the phone checking on my daughter.”
“You take the father of the year award. That is so sweet.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you are at a party but you haven’t forgotten about her but I’m sure
her mum is taking good care of her.”
“Single dad, I left her with a nanny. Anyways pardon me but you are?”
“Wow you are a great father. I’m Ntando and you are?”
“I’m Zweli, aren’t you Lwandiles’s girl?”
“Probaby not for long, how did you know?”
“Because he is looking for you along with 2 other girls.”
“Ow shit I forgot that we need to leave. Nice to meet you Zweli but I have to

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go.”
“I might as well follow you they is no use sitting here alone”. Zweli seems like a
nice, those types that you keep around as friends and stuff. We walk in the
house and Esihle is the first to see me.
“Are you ok?”
“Yes can we leave now?”
“Yes Lwandile is waiting for us in the car”. Why Lord why???
“Bye Ntando it was nice meeting you”, Zweli.
“Bye Zweli, the pleasure was all mine.” He walks away, Esihle is looking
confused.
“Who is that?”
“It’s not important let’s go”.

We get to the car and I sit in the back seat with my sisters, they are hella
confused right now.
Ntando go sit in the front”, Akhona says giving me the “WTF are you doing?’’
eyes.
“I don’t want to but if you are that concerned about the front seat then you
can go sit there”. I am not in the mood for anyones nonsense so she must not
dare mess with me. Lwa starts the car and drives. It’s so awkward in the car
nobody is saying anything to anyone. My phones rings it’s my cousin Syanda.
“Where are you guys?”
“On our way.”
“Ok, carry some ice and dash”
“Cool”. Great now I have to talk to Lwa, I know what I’m doing is unnecessary
but I have every right to be jealous and upset.
“Lwa please stop at any garage we will find on the way”. He ignores me but I
know he heard me, if he doesn’t stop we will fight I tell you.

We stop at the garage and I go out and he follows me, this is so awkward
because no one is saying anything to anyone. I’m at the fridge I want to take 6
ice packets but I won’t be able to carry them and the juices by myself and Lwa
is just looking at me, it’s like he is waiting for me to ask for his help but I won’t.

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I carry 3 ice packets in each hand and I put my wallet in my jeans, I will take the
jucies when I’m at the till.
“Damn! You are stubborn, give me those ice packets.” I hand him the ice
packets and I take 6 cranberry juices. We head to the till he puts down the ice
and jucies and takes out his wallet.
“It’s fine I will pay for it”. He gives me the “that won’t happen” look so he pays
and he carries everything.
“Thank you”, I say to him.
“It’s fine”. He opens the boot to put the things and I get in the car, I’m still
seated at the back seat.

We get to Lamont at my brother’s friends house.

“Thanks for the ride Lwandile”, Esihle says as they get out of the car.
“It’s fine, they is some booze we bought for you guys it’s the boot please call
someone to come help you guys carry it”.
“Haw Thank you so much”, Akhona and Esihle both say in shock.
“Ntandokazi can I please talk you”
“Let me help unpack first then we will talk”. As I go outside to the boot I can’t
believe the amount of booze they bought, I am just happy that I can see 6
bottles of my precious Moet. My 3 guy friends come help us unpack
everything, even the can’t believe the amount of booze we just came with.
The unpacking is done now I have to go face Lwa, I’m not happy about this. I’m
in the car but they is an awkward silence.
“Thank you so much for the alcohol it really was not necessary but also pass on
our appreciation to Zethu and Shaka”, that’s the only ice breaker I could think
of.
“Ntando I didn’t ask you to come here just so you can talk to me about
alcohol”. Imihlola yami, I see LwAndile is testing my patience.
“So say whats on your mind then.”
“Was it really necessary to do all of that in front of your sisters?”
“Was it really necessary to flirt with a woman in front of everybody?”. He lets
out a huge sigh.
“Ntando did I not apologize for that? Fine I admit I was entertaining her but it

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didn’t mean anything and its not like we were talking about sex or anything like
that. Come on babe you know I’m better than that”
“Clearly I don’t”, honestly I’m not even mad anymore this is just the alcohol in
me speaking. He is getting irritated by attitude I can tell. He places his hand
behind my neck and pushes it towards him so I can kiss him. I can’t lie I can’t
resist Lwandile lips, they are just too yummy not to kiss. So I kiss him, then I
pull back.
“I have to go”
“But babe please believe me when I say that meant nothing. I will come fetch
you guys at around 2am.”
“Ok then please reduce your alcohol intake and drive safely. If you are too
drunk please don’t drive we will see you guys tomorrow early in the morning.”
“Ok babe I won’t drink too much alcohol. I love you”.
“I love you more.” No matter how mad I could be with Lwa that will never
lessen my love for him, yes he is annoying at times, he has his mistakes and
most of all he is far from perfect but that doesn’t make him not worth loving.
He makes me happy and he spins my world around and for now that’s what I
need in a guy.

I am enjoying myself in the party, this place is packed and all my brothers,
sisters (they are all actually my cousins but we are close family at home so it
just feels wrong to call them my cousins) and friends are here. Everyone is
wasted and we’ve barely drank the booze that the bae’s bought. I’m sitting and
chilling with Amahle, we are tired.
“So hoe when am I meeting the chocolate hunk?”
“Soon”
“That’s not promising Ntando”
“Ok I will make it happen, don’t worry.”
“I hope so.” The night proceeds and I am having so much fun, I miss my King
though I must admit.

It’s 3am and bae Lwa is on his way to come fetch us. The party is still alive
where I’m at but I am tired and I need to rest. These girls are also finished but

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we need some composure. I get a text from Lwa.
“Babe I am outside, phumani.”
“Ok.” I need to rally these girls so we can go. We get to the car and my Lwa looks
sober and here I am sloshed as ever.
“Are you ok?”, I ask.
“No, I am the only one who entered the new year sober.” I laugh.
“Why didn’t you drink?”
“You said I shouldn’t nje”
“I said don’t drink too much plus I said if things get out of hand we would come
in the morning”
“No I need you now”, I don’t like the way he is looking at me as he says this.
“Are we going back to Shaka’s place?”
“Yes we will pop in there for a while then we will leave.”
“Ok”. Hayi they really is something up with Lwandile he is acting strange, he is
looking at me like I am 600 grams of steak that he cant wait to eat.

We get to Shaka’s place and the ghetto girls are have left, Mbali and her
friends are still here. Esihle and Akhona have gone to see their bae’s outside.
“Can I have a word with you?”, Lwa says as I’m about to go to the girls. I follow
him upstairs to the balcony. We don’t say a word to each other, he just holds
me to his chest. My sactuary.
“Today Shaka and I are going to Richards Bay, the family is having a mini braai
you going to to come with me.” I am shocked and scared, I am not sure if I am
ready to meet Lwandile’s family yet. It’s too soon me and Lwandile have only
been together for a month roughly.
“Hayi baby I think it’s abit too soon for that.”
“Ntando you are going to go with me, we are not discussing this.” Haibo
Lwandile can’t do this to me. I am speechless to say the least, I’m still trying to
process all of this.
“Are you sure about this?”
“Yes more than anything.” Bakwethu I’m doing a mini silent prayer, I am not
ready for this at all but I have to suck it up since bae Lwa isn’t having it.
“Don’t be nervous I know they will like you.” That’s easy for him to say.

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“It’s not as easy as you think”
“Trust me babe.” Ow hayi ke I have no choice but to accept that I am going to
meet Lwa’s family later on today. I really don’t know what to expect or how to
carry myself all I know is that I love Lwandile and if this what he wants I need
to put my feelings of fear aside and do this for him.

It’s around 1pm and we are on our way to Richards Bay. I am so nervous right
now I am definitely not myself, I couldn’t even sleep. In the morning we went
to go look for a dress I’m going to wear and I found the perfect dress, it’s an off
shoulder light blue and white striped shirt dress and I am wearing it with
gladiator sandals. Lwa seems to be enjoying seeing me this nervous.
“Babe calm down”, he says as he looks at me with a smile.
“I’m trying but it’s difficult.”
“Relax I’m here with you”. I am doing this for him and only him if it were up to
me I wouldn’t even be here. The things we do for love. We get to this huge
house and Lwa enters the premisis, it’s more beautiful then any of the houses
Lwa and Shaka have. I can see Shaka’s car and a bunch of other beautiful cars
as well, for a mini family braai they sure are a lot of cars here.
“We are here, trust me everything is going to be ok”, he says then he kisses my
forehead. I feel a bit less nervous now then I was earlier.
We walk into the the house and I must admit this house is more beautiful then
it is outside. Lwa is carrying two pink gift bags and one blue gift bag I have no
idea whats inside. As we walk in two little girls run up to him, they look like
they are 5 or 6 years old and they are so cute.
“Sawbona Malume”, they say as he picks them up.
“How are my favourite girls doing?”
“We are good, what did you bring for us?” He puts them down and gives them
the gift bags. These kids bring out a side of him I’ve never seen before. They
open the bags and they are two Barbie doll sets.
“Thank you Malume”, they scream out each of them hugging his leg. This is so
cute yazi, Lwa is really good with kids.
“Now greet Aunt Ntando”, he commands.
“Sawbona Aunty”, its so cute how they both say things simultaneously.

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“Babe this is Okuhle and Lubanzi”, he says. I kneel down.
“How are you two beautiful girls doing?”
“We are good, aunty please come play with us”, Lubanzi says. Okuhle seems
to be the quiet one she copies everything Lubanzi does but right now she is
busy bushing my afro with her little hands.
“I will later then we will eat sweets and have our own play date”, they nod
looking all excited. I love kids personally I wouldn’t mind having 5 or 6 of my
own little dwinkies.
“Ok now take this and give it to Lonwabo.” Lwa says handing them the blue gift
bag. I know that Lonwabo is Shaka’s son, its these two dwinkies I don’t know.
“He is sleeping”, Lubanzi shouts out.
“Then put it in your mum’s room”, Lwa responds. They walk away looking all
jolly and happy. Lwa proceeds and we walk into the kitchen, its packed of
women. As we walk in they all shout out Lwa’s name and come to hug him,
they are a pretty close family I have to admit.
“Ladies please meet another important woman in my life, this is Ntandokazi
Mthimkhulu.”, he says as he holds my hand. Right now I am so nervous I feel
like I am about to faint.
“Sanibonani”, I greet. They all looked shocked yet happy and judging by their
facial expressions I must be the first girl Lwandile has brought home.
“Ntando this is Aunt Nonkosi, Aunt Simphiwe and Aunt Sthabile and then these
are my cousins Sena and Sandisiwe and this is my annoying little sister
Nokbonga”
“Nice to meet you Ntando.”, Aunt Nonkosi says. She seems like those Aunts
which like things, she is all dressed up in designer clothes. All of these aunts
are beautiful and young but Aunt Sthabile looks a bit strict and it’s scaring the
life out of me.
“Kujabula mina ma”, I respond bowing my knees. Aunt Sthabile looks
impressed by my manners.
“Baphi oMa noBaba?” Lwandile asks.
“Outside”, Sena answers. She is a beautiful girl, she looks a lot like Aunt
Simphiwe. Lwa pulls my hand and we head outside. As we get outside we
approach to elderly people they must be Shakas parents, his father is tall and

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dark skinned but he and Shaka are identical the only difference is in their
complexion his father is dark skinned and Shaka is light skinned just like his
mother.
“Mfana wami”, says their mother hugging Lwandile and kissing his cheeks.
“Ma you are embrassing me”, Lwandile says trying to pull away from his mum.
His dad is scanning me from head to toe and I am facing my head down drilling
the floor.
“Sawbona baba”, Lwandile says hugging him. I find the love and respect
Lwandile has for them amazing considering that they are not his biological
parents, they are close you can tell.
“Sawbona Mfana wami”, his father responds embracing him. Lwandile then
pulls my hand to come closer.
“Mum and Dad this is Ntandokazi Mthimkhulu the woman I have been telling
you about”, he says with a huge smile on his face. Lwandile’s mum comes and
hugs me, I really didn’t expect this. She lets go and then holds my hand.
“Nice meeting my Mr and Mrs Khumalo”, I say bowing my knees. I am nervous
as hell right now.
“It’s normal to be nervous but calm down”, Lwa’s mum says lifting up my chin.
She has a gentle voice, you can tell that she is a very loving woman.
“She would make a beautiful makoti”, Lwa’s father says scanning me.
“I know dad, that’s why we need to send cows kwaMthimkhulu asap”. Here we
go again with the marriage talk I might as well accept it. Lwa’s parents wink at
each other.
“Let us go and get everything ready”, Lwa’s mum says pulling me along with
her.
“Ma!”, Lwandile shouts at as we are about to enter the house.
“Don’t worry I will take care of her”, she screams out smiling at him. We get to
the kitchen and everything that needs to be done is already done, the Khumalo
women are just downing their alcohol. Ma and I join them, of course I am
drinking juice I need to repect them.
“So Ntandokazi how did you and Lwandile meet?”, Sandisiwe asks. They are all
looking at me.
“Uhrm well it’s actually a funny story the first time I noticed Lwa was at some

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chilling spot (I want to avoid the word club) he got a waiter to ask if he could
pay our bill and I rejected the offer. The next time was 2 days after that when
he made the same offer when I was having lunch at Sun Coast Hotel with my
sisters and I rejected his offer again. Then a week later I was out with my sister,
I was coming from the dance floor when I slipped because of a spilt drink and
then he catched me. Then we talked and it lead to where we are now.”
“Washa Cinderella and Prince Charming”, says Nokbonga. We all laugh at her.
I must say I feel comfortable around the Khumalo family, they are all warm and
loving.

Lunch has been served the men are eating outside and the women are inside
bonding. Lwandile’s mum hasn’t let me out of her sight she seems happy to
see me here. I really do miss my bae though, I haven’t seen him since when I
was introduced to his parents. I wanted to go serve him food but Aunt Sthabile
didn’t allow me. I am surprised he hasn’t checked up on me.
“I know you miss him”, Lwa’s mother says softly.
“How did you know ma?”, I ask looking at her confused.
“I wasn’t born this old, I was also young and inlove. I know what it’s like when
the love is still fresh and you guys can’t get your hands off each other.” Well
that’s certain me and Lwa don’t like being away from each other it drives us
insane.
“Hayi ma you got that right”. We both giggle.
“I know that my boy loves you, it’s written in his eyes and I know that he may
come with a lot of baggage but please don’t give up on him. Lwandile didn’t
have it easy in life and he need’s someone who will loosen up his difficult
heart.”
“I know ma I will do all I can to be a good woman to him.”
“I know you will.” As we have our talk Lubanzi walks in and comes to me.
“Uncle Lwandile said can you please come to him outside”. Lwa’s mum laughs.
“Tell him grandma said she can’t come now”, She says. Lubanzi leaves to go
deliever the message to his lovesick uncle. I’m shattered that Lwa’s mum didn’t
allow me to go to him, I miss him she of all people knows that. Lwandile
walks in and we all look at him.

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“Ma, dad said that I should call you.”
“You are love sick my boy”, Aunt Simphiwe says trying to hold back her
laughter. She is the quiet Aunt she hasn’t said much since I got here. We can all
see what Lwandile is trying to do
“Lwandile I wasn’t born yesterday”, Lwa’s mum says smiling. She seems
amused by our puppy love.
“Musa ukudlala ngengane, Ntando go with Lwa”, Aunt Nonkosi comes to our
rescue. I look at Lwa’s mum for approval and she nods. I stand up and I follow
my King. We get in a room and as soon as I shut the door Lwa starts kissing me.
“Baby slow down”, I say pushing him away.
“I’m sorry but I missed you”
“I know I missed you too”. He kisses my forehead and holds me to his chest.
“Ngyakthanda MaMthimkhulu”
“Ngyakthanda nami Manzini”. He then kisses me slowly, this is going
somewhere I can feel electric shocks heading straight to my cookie. I start
breathing heavily and so is he, this feels good. I know we can’t do the dirty in
this house with all his family here but it’s too hard to resist.
“Baby stop”, I don’t want him to stop but if I don’t stop him he won’t.
“Babe I need you now, don’t stop me.” I feel my cookie melt as he starts kissing
my neck this feels so good and I am weak. He lays me on top of the bed and
then gets up to lock the door. He pushed up my dress and then takes off my
undwerwear. He starts playing with my cookie I’m already weak and this is
making things worse. I am wet and I need him in me so bad. In that passionate
moment they is a knock on the door. Fuck!!! Why now?? Why now?? We try to
ignore it but the knock persists.
“Who is it?”, Lwa shouts out.
“Uncle Lwandile, gogo is calling you”, says the soft voice behing the door it
must be Okuhle.
“Ok I’m coming”. Damn our session has been cut short. He pulls out and he
looks disappointed.
“We will have to finish this off later.” Great now I have something to look
forward to. I don’t mind waiting I know it’s going to be worth it.
“Ok sthandwa sami”. He puts my underwear back on and he fixes my dress and

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the bed.
“Thank you”, he says looking at me deep in the eyes.
“For what?”
“Being here with me today”
“Anything for you sthandwa sami.” He holds me close to his chest and at this
moment I feel loved and cherished. I love how Lwandile can do and say things
that make me feel special and appreciated in a way I’ve never felt before. We
go to the kitchen and we see Lwa’s mum.
“Ma”, Lwandile calls out.
“Yes my boy your dad wanted to speak to Ntandokazi”. I am nervous all over
again, I can barely even look at his dad how am I supposed to hold a
conversation with him.
“Ukuphi ma?”, I ask.
“Look for him at the pool area”. Lwandile escourts me to his father I am
literally shaking right now, I am scared of that man. We get to the area and he
is sitting at the outside lounge with Shaka and Zweli. I wonder what he is doing
here.
“Hy Ntando it’s nice seeing you again”, Zweli says.
“Hey Zweli”. Shaka and Lwa are confused as to how we know each other.
“You guys know each other?”, Shaka asks.
“We met yesterday at the party.”, Zweli responds. Lwa is not looking convinced
but he can’t interrogate me now. I still can’t help but wonder what he is doing
here but I guess I will have to ask Lwa later but now that I notice this guy looks
a lot like Bab Khumalo.
“Sacela ningishiye noMakoti wakwami I want to speak to her”, Bab Khumalo
says in his intermidating voice. The boys get up and leave, Lwa wants to laugh
at me because he can see how nervous I am.
“MaBhungane I’ve been speaking to my son and just like any other father I am
happy that my son has finally met someone he see’s a future with. The
purpose of every woman is to build a home and I hope that you will also fulfil
that purpose now that, that time has come.” I am more confused than nervous
right now.
“Ngyakuzwa baba but I am confused, what is this all about?”

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“Lwandile is a good boy and even though he hasn’t had it easy in life he
created a future for himself, I am proud of him and all that he has
accomplished. What worries me about his harsh up bringing is that it has made
him a cold person and that is something no amount of money can change but
only love can melt his heart. For the fact that Lwandile brought you here it
means he see’s something in you that he hasn’t seen in any woman and he
doesn’t believe he will find else where and that is something Lwandile’s mum
has also noticed.” I don’t know where this is going I am so anxious right now.
“Right now I am going to ask you something that I know will be a challenge for
you but I have faith in you. As you know that Lwandile was abandoned by his
mother when he was young I think that is one of the things that forced him to
grow up and mature much sooner then he had to. Lwandile’a biological mother
has made contact with me and she wants to see his son. She is not well at all
and she wants to apologise to his son and say her last good bye’s. I didn’t know
how I was going to address this to Lwandile so Lwa’s mum and I decided it
would be best if you be present when we address this matter to him. What
happened in the past is in the past and we believe it would be best for Lwa to
say his last goodbyes to her and forgive her for the wrong she has done to
him.”
“Baba I believe that this is a very deep family matter and my presence would
not be fitting. I do agree with you, Lwandile does need to make peace with his
mother and I will do all in my powers to convience him but I believe you as his
parents should have a private moment with him before I intervene.”
“I hear you makoti but as his parents we need you to be there. Things are not
going to be pretty and I fear that the worst will happen as this is a very
sensitive issue. Lwandile is very fragile even though he acts like is strong.”
“Hayi baba ngyakuzwa. I will do as you have instructed.”
“Ngyabonga MaMthimkhulu, you are just as strong as your father.” My
father??? Well my father was a well known person since he was a good
businessman, I don’t talk about him and Lwandile also doesn’t know much
about him.
“You knew my father?”
“Yes I did but on a business level. He was a risk taker and also very courageous

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and intelligent. His passing was a loss not only to your family but to all of those
who knew him.” My eyes are filled with tears as I listen to Bab Khumalo speak
about my father. It’s a very sensitive topic to me.
“Ngyabonga baba”, I say wiping my tears. He comes near me and holds my
hand.
“Don’t cry, Lwandile would be upset if he saw you like this. Come let’s go join
the family”. I get up and walk with him while he holds my hand.
We walk into the lounge and everyone is sitting is there. They is so much noise.
Lwandile is playing with Lubanzi, Okuhle and Lonwabo he doesn’t even see us
walk in.
“Haw hayi bafo, dad has taken your girl”, Shaka says laughing. The whole
family laughs with him. Lwandile looks at us and smiles and then comes to me.
“Dad can I borrow my future wife?” Bab Khumalo nods and let’s go of my
hand.
We head to kitchen.
“What did he say?”. Lol ok so the only reason why this guy called me is to get
some information from me.
“Nothing much we were just talking about family and stuff. You talked to your
father about my dad?” I need to change the topic.
“Yes sort of he once asked me who your parents are and it turns out they’ve
done business together.”
“He told me. Awusho ke how are you related to Zweli?” He doesn’t like what I
am asking it’s written in his face.
“Vele vele how do you know Zwe?”
“I met him at the party”, he looks at me as if he wants me to continue
explaining myself.
“Well it was after I caught you with your girl, I was upset and I went to the pool
since they was no one there and then he came because he wanted some quiet
time to speak with his daughter and then we met.” He looks less frustrated
now.
“First of all you are my girl anyway Zwe is our big brother”. Ok now I am
confused I thought Shaka and Lwa were the only boys and I have never heard
them mention him even once.

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“Big brother?”
“Ok well shuthi ubaba was married to another woman before he married uMa.
He wanted to make Ma the second wife but Zwe’s mum did not approve of
that. Things got worse when uMa was pregnant with Shaka, Zwe’s mum knew
that she would have to accept her so she decided to pack her belongings and
leave. She took Zwe and left when he was only just 5 years old and no one
knew where she went or if she’d ever come back. Dad looked for her but they
was no trace of her so ubaba concluded with that she was seeing someone and
continued to marry uMa. It’s only early last year that Zwe made contact with
this family and reunited with the family.” I am shocked, I know that the
polygamy thing is common amoungst the Zulu’s especially back in the day but I
would’ve probably left as well if the same thing happened to me just not the
way she did it.
“Ow ok, he is a nice guy though. I can tell that me and him will get along.” I
sense some jealousy in the atmosphere.
“I hate it when you speak about other men like that”
“He is your brother”
“I know but you are mine Ntandokazi.” I walk up to him and hold him
“Yes I’m yours Manzini nobody else but you.” He seems to be melting. He lands
a kiss on my forehead.
“Romeo and Juliet you guys are too obsessed with each other”, Nokbonga says
walking in the kitchen finding us in our little moment.
“It’s not an obsession Bongo it’s love.”, Lwa says.
“Hayi if you say so bhuti Lwa so are you guys sleeping over?” Lwa looks at me
as if I should be the one answering that question.
“Yes they are”, Lwa’s mum says coming into the kitchen. Lwandile didn’t even
tell me that we were going to sleep over I don’t have cosmetics or clothes to
change. I know I have no say in this but I just wish I could be more involved in
the decision making process.

The day is over and I am in bed with my King. We didn’t leave Richards Bay
because Lwa’s mum told me that they want to have the meeting tomorrow so
that Lwa can have enough time to cool down and think things through. I am so

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nervous because I don’t know what to expect when even his own family is
afraid of his warth.
“Babe are you ok? You haven’t said a word since we got into bed”, Lwandile.
“Yes, I just have a lot on my mind”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No it’s nothing. Baby why did you not tell me that we would spend the night
here?” I’m actually just trying to change the topic.
“It wasn’t part of the plan but my parents asked us to stay over and I couldn’t
say no. Are you uncomfortable?”
“No baby it’s not that I am enjoying my stay here. I thought you knew and you
didn’t tell me to even carry a tooth brush.” He giggles.
“I will take care of that in the morning babe.”
“Ok my love lets rest its been a long day”. I have nothing thing much to say to
Lwandile today I know he can tell that something is bothering me but I can’t
tell him and it’s killing me. I hate hiding things from him but on this I have no
choice. We will have to see tomorrow what the day has for us.

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 CHAPTER 8

It’s 10am and breakfast has been served. Lwa woke up early to go buy us
clothes and toiletries. Bab Khumalo has already called everyone for a family
meeting in the lounge and I am nervous as hell because I know it’s about to go
down.
“I know that you boys are wondering what I called you all here for but me and
your mother have something very important to share with you.” Lwa’s dad
says looking at all of us.
“I think all the aunts here would agree with me when I say as a mother you
always have to learn to do what’s best for your children even when it hurts
you. Lwandile even though you are not from my own womb I have learnt to
love you as my own and that’s why what me and your father are about to
address to you is difficult for us.” Lwandile then grabs my hand and squeezes it
tight, I know he is nervous.
“Yebo mfana wami I know that your father would be just as proud of you as I
am today koda sicela uvule inhliziyo yakho to what we are about to share with
you today.” Everyone is confused. Bab Khumalo continues.
“Kshuthi sometime early December a man came to us in search for you. He
came on behalf of your mother and told us that your mother is very very sick
and her dying wish would be to see you and apologise to you for what she did.
Now my child I have delayed this matter till now because I didn’t know how to
bring this up to you but time is no longer on our side. Your mother, your Aunts
and I believe that you should go and make peace with your mother.” Lwa lets
go of my hand and as I glance at him he is fuming and his vains are popping
out. He gets up and leaves. Shaka and Zweli are astonished they have nothing
to say.
“Lwandile we are still talking”, Lwa’s mum shouts out as he leaves. I run after
him I am so scared right now. I have never seen him this furious.
“Sthandwa sami!!”
“Ntandokazi take your things we are leaving”
“Lwandile uMa noBaba were still talking to you that was rude.”
“NTANDOKAZI I SAID WE ARE LEAVING!!!” he says shouting at me
“NO we are not plese give them an opportunity to talk to you. I know this is

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not easy for you to accept.” What happens next I didn’t expect, he picks me up
and puts me in his shoulder. As we head outside we see Shaka and Zweli.
“Lwandile that is no way to handle a woman put Ntando down and let’s go in
so you can talk to our parents.”, Zweli says. Lwandile pushes him aside and
puts me in the front seat.
“Lwandile please don’t leave”, Aunt Simphile shouts out as she approaches the
car. Lwandile isn’t responding he just drives off. I want to say something but I
am scared and I don’t even know what to say.

We are are in the middle of the N3 road and still Lwa hasn’t said a word to me,
his family has been calling but he keeps ignoring the calls.
“Stop the car Lwandile.” He doesn’t even bother to look at me.
“LWANDILE ZUNGU STOP THE CAR”. He pulls the off on the side of the road.
“Yini Ntandokazi??”, he asks irritated. I get out of the car and he come’s out as
well and comes to me. I don’t say anything and I just hug him, he can’t resist
and then he hugs me back.
“Calm down sthandwa sami, I am here for you. Please just calm down, you are
scaring me.” I say holding him tight. He lets out a huge sigh.
“I’m sorry.” Ok this means that I am getting through to him.
“Don’t be, just please talk to me.”
“Ntando they is nothing to talk about, I am not going to see that woman. If she
is dying then let her die it’s a punishment for her sins. I will never forgive her
for what she did.”
“You don’t mean that baby, she is your mother you can’t talk about her like
that”
“NO NTANDOKAZI!! She is the woman that gave birth to me. I am done talking
about this lets go”. Hayi ke here goes our little love moment. We get into the
car and they is silence again but this time he looks less angry so it’s progress. I
also believe that Lwandile should make peace with his mum no matter what
happened in the past it’s time for him to forgive and move on. Somethings are
easier said than done.

We are Lwa’s house, I can’t leave him like this. We still haven’t said a word to

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each other, I made him food and he didn’t eat it. This thing is really bothering
him and I don’t know how to reach out to him. He is in the study and I am just
roaming around the house.
“Baby do you need anything?”, I say as I see him going towards the kitchen.
“No I’m fine”
“Ok than can we please talk”. He comes to me.
“I know that this is hard for you but baby please go see your mother. Don’t do
it for her but do it for yourself, I don’t know what happened in the past but...”
“YOU ARE RIGHT NTANDO YOU DON’T”, he says interrupting me.
“And I will never know until you tell me”
“I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!”, he shouts out then he gets up and
leaves me. I have never seen Lwandile like this and it breaks me to see him
shout me out like this because I know he is hurting. My phone rings and it’s an
unknown number.
“Hello”
“Ntandokazi how is my boy doing?”. It’s Lwa’s mum.
“Not well at all Ma, I’ve tried talking to him but he keeps shutting me out and
even when we do try talking to him he just shouts at me. I don’t know what to
do or say, he is not eating and I don’t know what to do.”
“Give him some time to cool down and process everything, the day after
tomorrow we will also come that side to come see him.”
“Ok ma I will, thanks for calling it means a lot.”
“Take care of him”
“I will”. I don’t know how I am going to do that by the way.

It’s 6pm and I have made supper so now I am going to serve Lwa, just because
he doesn’t want to eat it doesn’t mean I should stop serving him. I knock at the
study door and they is no answer so I just barge in. He is dead drunk.
“Baby here’s your food”, I say putting the tray on top of the table.
“I don’t want any food”
“But baby you need to eat something”. What he does next I did not anticipate.
He throws the tray of food on the floor. I am shocked but most of all I am
scared of him, I have never seen him like this.

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“Please give me some space”, he says looking at me. I try picking up the broken
plate and glass on the floor.
“I SAID LEAVE!!!” hayi ke bakwethu this is it for me, I’m leaving I can’t stay with
Lwandile while he is like this I will come back tomorrow. I’m terrified of him
right now. I’ve called an uber and it’s 10 minutes away, I want to tell Lwandile
that I’m leaving but I fear that he will lash out on me again so I will just write
him a note. I hate leaving him like this but he hasn’t given me a choice because
next I am going lose my temper and things are not going to be pretty.

I am almost at Ballito bay and my phone rings, it’s Lwandile.

“Sthandwa sami”
“You leave me a letter??”
“I’m sorry Lwa but mina uyangithusa I thought it’s best if I left and come back
tomorrow.”
“Where are you going to?”
“My brothers place”
“Ok”. Alright atleast he isn’t mad at me for leaving me.
“I love you Mr Zungu”. He let’s out a huge sigh.
“Ngyakthanda nami MaMthimkhulu”. At least he can still say that he loves me.

I get to my brother’s house and everyone wass surprised to see me here. Zama
is also here and seemingly her presence does not annoy me as much as it did
before. I didn’t want to speak to anyone so I just went straight to bed. My
brother walks in and catches me while I’m still lost in my thoughts.
“Sis are you ok?”
“Yes I’m fine.”
“What did he do?”
“Nothing bro it’s just that he is not in good space at the moment so I thought
he needed a break from me to think things through alone. Plus why do you
care? I thought you don’t like Lwandile.”
“I don’t care about him but I do care about you, you are my little sister and
that will never change.”
“That is literally the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He giggles.

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“What ever, do you need anything?”
“No I’ll be fine.”
“Not even a late ice cream date nyana for me?”
“With Zama?”
“No just the two of us so we can just talk”. I’m feeling a bit cheered up but I
can’t stop worrying about my King, I regret leaving him now.

We get to Wimpy and it’s just me and my bro, it’s been a while since we last
spent time together like this.
“Thanks for the breather I really needed it.”
“Anything for my sister.”
“You really like this guy?”
“Yoh bafo like is an understatement and I know that you won’t understand us
or why I’m with him but it all feels right when I’m with him.”
“I hope he understands and knows all of this because if he even tries to break
your heart...”
“He won’t bro”, I say before he could continue.
“Why are you so positive?”
“I just know, I have a good feeling about this one.” We both laugh. I’m enjoying
our little bond session while at it I might as well ask whats up with him and
Zama.
“So whats up with you and Zama?”
“What do you mean she’s my girl”
“Why her though?”
“Ntando vele why don’t you guy like Zama? Don’t say it’s nothing because I can
see that something is up”
“Hayi well Zama used to date Lwa and lets just say I met her in a very
unconventional way, that girl is crazy and I will never like her even if I do break
up with Lwandile.”
“What did she do?”
“It’s best you ask her bro”. As we are talking about Zama my phone rings and
it’s Shaka, I know he is probably worried about his brother.
“Hello”

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“Ntandokazi ukuphi?”, he is breathing heavily and his voice sounds a bit shaky I
know that something is wrong.
“I’m at Ballito with my brother why?”
“Lwa got involved in a car accident please rush to Busamed Hospital.” I freeze
and I drop the phone on the floor. I start feeling dizzy and tears start rolling
down my face.
“Ntando whats wrong?” my brother is freaking out.
“We need to go to!!!”
“Where are we going to??”
“Umhlanga”. My brother and I rush to the car and we head to Umhlanga.

We get to the hospital and in the ward is Shaka and Zethu. I don’t even greet I
just go to my man and I start crying my lungs out. He doesn’t look that bad but
he has so many machines plugged into him and I don’t know how bad the
damage could be internally. My brother is shattered as he see’s me crying
beside Lwandile so he comes to me and hugs me.
“Stop crying sis”, I hold on to him and continue crying. Shaka and Zweli are just
as shattered as I am. I feel responsible for this, I was supposed to take care of
him but I left him just because he threw a tantrum. If anything happens to
Lwandile his family will never forgive me but I also won’t forgive myself.
“What happened?”, Olwethu asks Shaka and Zweli.
“He was drunk, he was driving too fast and he lost control of the car and his car
rolled out of the road but luckily his car hit a wall that is what saved his life”,
Zweli explains.
“Ntando he will be ok please stop crying”, Shaka say. I have nothing to say I
just want my Lwandile to wake up.
“What did the doctors say?” Olwethu seems genuinely worried about Lwandile
I am shocked.
“When we got here he was already back from his check up, it seems like they
are no major injuries physically they just stiched him up because a huge glass
went through his arm. Tomorrow he is going for a CT Scan to check for any
internal injuries”. As Zweli recites all of this I feel myself getting dizzy and next I
can’t see anything.

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As I open my eyes I can note that I’m connected to a drip, it seems like I’m in
casualty and I can see Shaka, Olwethu and Zweli next to me.
“What happeed?”, I ask as I try to get up. They all rush to me since they hadn’t
noticed I am awake.
“You fainted Ntando, how are you feeling now?”, Zweli asks.
“I’m ok, where is Lwandile?”
“Still in ICU”, I feel my heart shatter all over aagain as Zweli says this.
“I want to go to him”, I say trying to get out of bed.
“No Ntando the doctor said you must rest”, Olwethu says.
“NO!! I am going to Lwandile I wasnt asking for anyone’s permission”. The
nurse comes to us as she see’s the commotion.
“May I help you with anything?”, she says.
“Yes please take this drip out”
“I’m sorry I can’t do that the docter asked us to keep you connected to it over
ight”. Great just great as if I didn’t have anymore troubles of my own now I
have to push this thing around.
“Ok than can I please go see my boyfriend”
“It’s not allowed mam”. I am going to stangle this nurse.
“Let her be”, Shaka says with a firm voice. I have never seen him so defeated
like this.
“But Sir…”, she is interrupted by another Nurse that calls her.
“Please excuse me” she says heading to the senior nurse that just called her.
They both come back.
“I’m so sorry Mr Khumalo, she is new. Mam will you need a wheel chair?”, the
senior nurse explains.
“No I’ll be fine”. I get up and we leave.

As I enter the door to Lwa’s room I can feel my heart break all over again. I
don’t know what I expected but I know that this is not it. I grab a chair and
place it right next to him and then I hold his hand.
“Have you told your parents?”, I ask Shaka and Zweli.
“No, we haven’t told anyone at home, after you guys left things were sour and
Ma was in tears so we didn’t want to make things worse until we knew how

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bad things were.” Shaka explains.
“Ok ow and guys by the way this is my brother Olwethu and bhuti this is Shaka
and Zweli”.
“You are too late we’ve already done the intro’s”, Shaka says. It’s like him to
say this, I am glad they is still a little bit of him in there. I smile.
“You guys should go rest I will stay with him”. They all look drained
“Are you sure?”, Shaka asks.
“Yes I’m sure, you and Zweli look tired and bro Esihle and Akhona must be
worried about us we’ve been gone for a while now”. Shaka looks down as I
mention Esihle’s name it’s funny, I know it’s becase Olwethu is here.
“Ok than call us if anything comes up or if you need anything.”, Shaka says as
he gets up to hug me.
“Ube right mntaka ma”, Olwethu says after hugging me. They leave and now
it’s just me and Lwandile. I am tired but I don’t want to sleep just in case he
wakes up, I need to be here for him. The thought of losing Lwandile is killing
me, I don’t want that to happen I can’t let that happen Lwandile is the love of
my life I never want to live a life without him.

“Mrs Zungu”, I hear a gentle voice call out. I must’ve fell asleep it’s the nurse.
“Yes”
“I’m sorry mam but it’s time for Mr Zungu to go for his tests”
“Ok, when will he be back?”
“Well it will probably be an hour because the docter has added a couple more
tests he wants us to run on him.”
“Ok I will wait for him”
“Don’t worry too much your husband will be ok.”
“Ow no we are not married just dating.”
“Yet”, she adds on smiling as she walks away. I have no idea what that means.
She comes in with another nurse and they push out Lwa’s bed. I look at the
time and it’s 8am and I have missed calls from Olwethu, Shaka and Akhona I
know they want to an update about Lwandile and I don’t really want to talk to
anyone but I do need clothes and some toiletries.

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Olwethu sent someone to give me my clothes and toiletries, he also bought me
food but I don’t want to eat. Shaka, Zweli and Zethu are here, we are all
waiting anxiously for Lwa to come back then the doctor comes.
“Uhrm I’m afraid things are bad, Mr Zungu has a brain concussion I’m still
waiting for more results to determine how bad it is and he has a few fractured
bones”. I feel like I am about to have a heart attack. Tears start rolling down
my cheeks all over again.
“Where to from here?”, Shaka asks.
“Well I have to wait for the results to be able to determine anything but stay
positive. Ms Mthimkhulu how are you feeling?”
“I’m ok”. I even forgot that I was also admitted here as well, my drip has been
removed and I’ve been “discharged” the docter said that they is nothing wrong
with me it must’ve been stress.
“Stop crying and calm down I assure you we will do all we can to help him”, he
says as he is walking out the door.
“Shaka tell them”, I say as he is comforting me. He needs to inform his family
about Lwandile things are not looking good.
“Ok “, he gets up and heads out I feel sorry for him no one would ever want to
deliever such heartbreaking news to their family. I am afraid to face uMa to be
honest I promised her that I would take care of Lwandile and the moment I
things went south I left. That really says a lot but I didn’t know that things
would turn out like this.
“You look nervous”, Zweli can see that I am bothered.
“I am I don’t know how I am going to face your parents.”
“It’s not your fault stop being harsh on yourself.”
“It is I was supposed to take care of him, I promised I would take care of him
but look now.”
“Ntando calm down, this could’ve happened if you with him or not. Lwandile is
here because of his negligence and not yours.”
“But I should’ve been there”, I start crying all over again.
“Please stop crying nothing can change what happened what’s important is
that you are here for him. You need to be strong for him he needs you to do
that for him right now.” Zweli is right I need to be strongf or my bae, it would

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kill him to see me crying like this. I am worried about what I am going to say to
the parents but have I have to be strong.
“Do you guys need anything to eat?”, Zethu asks. We both shake our heads.

Lwa is back from his tests and his parents are here they are all shattered
seeing their son like this. The docter said the concussion is very mild all he
needs is to rest for a couple of weeks then it will heal on it’s own, he should be
conscious by tonight. Nobody is has said a word since Lwa’s parents got here
it’s very awkward for me.
“Sanibonani”, Mbali says walking in.
“Yebo”, we all answer.
“I came as soon as I heard. How is Lwandile?”
“Uzobancono ndodakazi, the docters say it’s promising”, Bab Khumalo
answers. Lwa’s mum can not even speak.
“Kwancono ke baba. Ma how are you holding up?”
“Eyy I will be ok my daughter as soon as Lwa wakes up from here.”
“Don’t stress too much Lwandile has always been a fighter he will be ok.” My
phone rings and everyone looks at me, it’s Olwethu I know he is calling to
check up on me so I excuse myself.
“Bro”
“Mntaka ma how are you holdng up?”
“I’ll be fine thanks for the things you sent me”
“It’s fine, I didn’t want us to come without talking to you first. How is he
doing?”
“He will be ok, thank you”
“It’s fine so when can we come check up on you guys?”
“Well you can send either Esihle or Akhona to come now then you and one of
them will come back at night once Lwandile’s family is gone.”
“Ok sis I will see you later. I love you and take care.” I don’t remember when
was the last time he told me he loved me.
“I love you too, bye.” I walk into the room and everything is still tense, I wish I
knew the right words to comfort them but how can I make someone feel
better when I myself am hurting. I knew that I love Lwandile but the fear of

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losing him has made me realize how much I need him in my life, me and him
have a long journey ahead of us and I don’t want to love anyone else the way I
love him. Seeing him laying in this bed helpless breaks a part of me. I love
Lwandile Zungu and I would give anything to take his position right now.

It’s 3pm, Esihle, Zethu and Mbali have left. Shaka was happy to see his bae
here it was so cute seeing them stealing glances of each other. Having her here
also gave me hope, I need that right now. I’m seated besides my bae and I am
exhausted sleeping in a chair is no joke.
“Bab Khumalo and MaKhumalo can I get you guy anything to drink or eat? It’s
been a long day and you haven’t eaten anything since you got here.”
“My wife you have to eat something”, Bab Khumao says. Their love is amazing I
hope that if I ever get married I can have my husband look at me like it’s the
first time we just met even 50 years into our marriage. She nods her head.
“Can you please get us 2 chicken and mayo sandwiches and energy drinks”.
“What about you Shaka?”
“I’m fine”. I head to the Cafeteria and give the family a moment to themselves.
I need to stretch my feet a little. I get back and I feel a little satisfaction as I see
them eat.
“Ntando you also haven’t eaten anything since yesterday why didn’t you get
yourself some food”, Shaka asks as he notices me smiling at his parents.
“I’m ok I just need some caffine to keep me up”
“You slept here?”, Ma asks looking surprised.
“Yes, she hasn’t let him out of her site”, Shaka answers.
“I’m sorry my child since we got here we haven’t asked how you are doing I
know it must be very hard seeing him like this”. This woman is so sweet.
“Yes Ma it is but we will be ok, Lwandile is a fighter I know everything will be
ok”, I say as I look at my man. Mr and Mrs Khumalo both look at each other
and smile.
“Makoti you have to eat some thing, you need the energy if you are going to
be a security guard.” We all giggle. I can see where Shaka gets his humor from.
“I will just a bit later on.” Just as we are having our own bond moment
Lwandile starts coughing. We are all startled we didn’t expect him to wake up

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this soon but we are excited.
“Ntandokazi”, he calls out my name in a coarse voice.
“I’m here baby, I’m here.”
“Shaka call the nurse”, Bab Khumalo instructs.
“I’m sorry sthandwa sami”, Lwandile says after coughing once more. Tears
start rolling down my eyes I know he must be apologizing for how he treated
me when we were last together.
“All that doesn’t matter now.” The nurse walks in and checks his blood
pressure and all the other stuff then she assures us that he is ok. Shaka and his
parents are so excited and relieved.
“Mfana wami how are you feeling?”, MaKhumalo asks with tears in her eyes.
“Ngyaphila ma”. He still looks extremely tired and drained. The Dr John walks
in and greets the family, he seems to know them very well.
“Well all looks good you all can go home and rest. Lwandile needs to get some
sleep by tomorrow he should be fully responsive and we will run a couple more
tests just to ensure he is recovering.”
“Ok thank you Dr John.” Shaka says. I for one am not going anywhere I can’t
leave him.
“Shaka please take uMa noBaba to go rest I will stay here with him, if anything
comes up I will call you”
“Are you sure?” Bab Khumalo asks.
“Yes baba you are not as young as you were you need a proper rest.”
“Ok please call us if anything happens no matter how small it is.”
“I will do so Ma, go rest.” We exchange a hug and then they leave. I am happy
right now, I can see that my man is making progress and now I am very
hopeful. Lwandile really is a strong man.

It’s at night and I am exhausted, my body is completely drained if it weren’t for

the the energy drinks I’ve been drinking I would be down and out.
“Mntase”, Esihle says as she enters the room along with Akhona and Olwethu.
“Hey guys”. I get up and hug them.
“How is he doing?”, Olwethu asks.
“He is recovering, earlier today he woke up for a few seconds and then he slept

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again. The doctor said he just needs to rest but by tomorrow he should be fully
responsive.”
“I’m glad he is recovering but you look absolutely terrible if I were Lwandile I
would definitely go back to a comma if I saw my girlfriend looking like this. I
can’t believe Akhona just said that I’m not that bad. Esihle laughs at me.
“Hayi haw leave my sister alone”, Olwethu says defending me.
“Ngampela leave me alone haw I’m not that bad.” They all shake their heads, I
can’t believe Olwethu is selling me out.
“Hayi mntase you are.” Mcm Esihle should just leave me alone yazi.
“Whatever you guys just leave me alone”.
“Have you eaten anything?”. I knew Olwethu was worried but he seems more
concerned than what I thought.
“No but I’ll be fine”. As I say this I feel Lwandile squeeze my hand and he starts
flinching. I am nervous, it seems like he is in pain.
“Olwethu call the nurse.” He rushes out. Esihle and Akhona are also scared.
The nurse rushes in with Olwethu, she then adds on antibiotics in his drip and
injects some fluid in it. He then gently let’s go of my hand.
“Everything seems ok he must’ve been in pain but I’ve injected him with some
strong pain medication that should help. Mr Zungu needs to rest you can all
come see him tomorrow”. The nurse then leaves.
“Sis you need to take care of yourself. We will come see you tomorrow.”
“Be strong”, Esihle says as she comes to hug me. It really helps having them
here and seeing their support it’s gives me strength.
“We will come see you again tomorrow but don’t worry too much anymore he
is clearly getting well. And fix yourself up”. Akhona is really a pain in the ass.
“Akhona leave me alone please. Bye guy’s I love you”
“We love you too”, Olwethu responds as they leave. It hurts me to see them
leave but I know I have to be here for Mr Zungu.

Another night I have slept next to my bae, it’s 6am and I am already awake. I
can already feel my body slowly giving up on me but I need to be here for my
King just in case he needs me. I received a message from an unkown number, it
reads:
“I hope Lwandile gets well soon, I can only imagine what you must be going through. I know that you

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don’t like me and I don’t blame you but I would like permission from you and your brother to let me
come see Lwandile, I know I might be asking for too much but Lwandile was going to be the father of
my child I will always care about him.”
Father of her child???? hayi cha ngiyalingwa qobo this girl must be mad if she
thinks I will allow her to even come a meter away from my man. I see Lwandile
is still hiding secrets from me. I am so mad at him right now but I know it’s
pointless but I will deal with Lwandile when he gets well.

I’ve taken my bath and I’ve had a sandwich to eat finally. I am waiting for the
Khumalo’s to get here. The docter has checked Lwandile and given him a dose
of his medication. I can’t stop thinking about the text that Zama sent me
earlier, I thought me and Lwandile were over this thing of keeping secrets
away from each other I am hurt that I actually had to hear something like this
from Zama out of all people.
“Babe?”, Lwandile says disturbing me from my thoughts.
“Yes sthandwa sami I’m here.” I say getting closer so he can see me.
“What happened?”
“You got into an accident but none of that matters right now. How are you
feeling?”
“I have the worlds worst headache but I’ll be ok”. I know his pains are worse
than that he is just manning up.
“Ok, you had me worried I thought I was going to lose you”, Tears start rolling
down my eyes.
“Don’t cry babe, I would never leave you”, He says giving me a smile. I hug him,
I really missed him.
“Ouch! Ok I know you missed me.” I guess I was squeezing him too tight.
“I’m sorry”
“Don’t be, how long have you been here?”
“Since you got here.” He laughs at me as I say that.
“I can tell you look teribble.” Why is everyone saying that I don’t look that bad.
“I haven’t been sleeping that much, I haven’t been eating and I’ve been
stressed as hell so forgive me if I don’t look like Naomi Campbell.”
“Are you mad?”
“No”. Great Lwandile has just started being stable and he is getting on my

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nerves already.
“Come kiss me”, he says pulling my arm. I can resist a lot of things when it
comes to Lwandile but not his lips, shame lapho ke you can forgive and forget
they are my weakness. I give in and kiss him.
“Thank you”, he says whilst kissing me. I pull back and stare at his eyes.
“For what?”
“Always being by my side even when I tried pushing you away. You are an
amazing woman MaMthimkhulu.” That is so heartfelt.
“I had to, you are mine if I don’t take care of you than who will? I understand
that you were going through a lot I had to be patient.”
“Ngyakthanda Makhulukhulu”
“Ngyakthanda nami Manzini.” We kiss again. This time this kiss is more
passionate I’m starting to feel weak. We are disturbed by a knock on the door
it’s Shaka, he enters followed by Bab and Ma Khumalo. I am so embarrassed no
parent wants to see that.
“Siyaxolisa baba no ma we didn’t see you.” I am drilling the floor like they is no
tomorrow, Lwandile is all smiley.
“Don’t I also deserve an apology?” Shaka says laughing at us. He can be so
annoying at times.
“Shaka leave them alone. How are you doing makoti?”, Bab Khumalo comes to
our rescue and thank God for that.
“I’m ok baba nina ninjani?”
“We are well. My boy how are you holding up?”
“Ngyaphila baba no Ma”. Ma Khumalo starts crying.
“I’m sorry my boy this is all my fault. I should’ve never let you leave in the first
place without sorting things out.” It hurts seeing Ma Khumalo like this and it’s
also breaking her husband and sons as well.
“Ma it’s not your fault or anyone’s fault but mine. I shouldn’t of have left like
that it was very disrespectful no matter how I felt you are still my parents I
shouldn’t of behaved like that I’m sorry. It’s all behind now I am getting better
and soon all of this will be behind us.” Lwa then holds his mothers hand.
“I’m glad you are feeling well bafo”, Shaka says starring at his brother with a
smile. This seems like a very heartfelt family moment I think it’s best if I excuse

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myself.
“Please excuse me”, I say as I let go of Lwa’s hand.
“Where are you going to babe?”, Lwa asks.
“I’m going to get us something to drink.” He nods in approval and I leave.

I’m at the mall, I’ve decided to get my bae some toiletries, clothes and some
hospital goodies I’m sure that will give Bae Lwa enough time with his family.
“Come back now, I miss you” a text from Law. I’ve been only gone for an hour but he
is complaining.
“Almost done my love”. I have all that I need now all I need to do is call Shaka to
come fetch me and while at it I will ask him about Zama, my heart is still not at
rest. I could’ve asked Lwa himself but he is still recovering I don’t want to
overwhelm him but I still want answers.

I’m in the car with Shaka and he is being his normal crazy self, I might as well
ask him now.
“Shaka can I ask you something?”
“Yeah sure anything?”
“Did Zama and Lwandile have a child together?”. He stares at me in shock.
“Yoh Ntando I don’t think that’s something you should be asking me.”
“Ngyakcela Shaka all I need is a yes or no for this question. You know that I
can’t ask Lwandile that, at least no now and my heart won’t be at peace until I
know the truth ngyakcela.”
“I’m sorry Ntando but it’s not my place please just talk to him Lwandile would
never hide anything from you.”
“It’s funny you say that when I find out new things about him every day.
Lwandile is too secretive for me it’s starting to be too much then I can handle.”
I am mad, I really thought I was going to get some information from Shaka and
this is really eating me up I’ve been trying to ignore it but I want to know.
“I know you don’t mean that, Ntando talk to him please.”
“That’s easy for you to say because you are not the one who has to wonder
who exactly is the man you are inlove with. Ngyamthanda impela uLwandile
but he is too secretive. You have no idea how annoying it is to hear things

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about someone you claim to love from other people.”
“Ntando it’s still early stages please calm down and talk to him, please.” It still
hurts, but I guess I have no choice but to talk to him.

We get to the ward and I am not happy and Lwa can see I am not.
“Thanks for the things you bought me babe.”
“It’s fine.”. The mood is tense I think everyone can tell that I am a bit off but I
can’t help it.
“My boy we will come see you a bit later on, do you need anything?”
“No ma I am ok, MaMthimkhulu will take care of me.”
“Nisale kahle makoti”. I hug them good bye.
“Talk to him”, Shaka says as he leaves.
“Talk to me about what?’, Lwa asks.
“Nothing”
“It must be something Ntando I can tell you are upset whats wrong?”
“Zama sent me text telling me she wants to come see you.” I can see he is
getting frustrated.
“Forget about her, I don’t even want to talk about her.”
“Did You have a baby with her?”. He looks at me in disbelief.
“She told you that?”, Lwa is getting really mad and its not good for him right
now I shold’ve known better than to bring this up now.
“Never mind Lwandile just calm down your b.p is not looking too good.”
“No Ntandokazi I hate it when I make you feel like shit just because you think I
am not being honest with you.”
“We will talk about this later.”
“No but…”, I kiss him just so he can shut him up. I slowly sense his anger
coming out of him.
“I love you ok, but I can’t take anymore surprises and secrets. I need full
disclosure Lwandile.”
“Ok sthandwa sami but that child Zama was carrying was not mine, Zama
stopped taking contraceptives without telling me and on top of that she used
to poke holes in the condoms we used just so I could get her pregnant. After a
while I caught her and only to find out that she was dating 2 other guys who

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she did exactly the same thing to. The only reason she did that was because
she knew if she had a rich baby daddy she would be set for life. She did get
pregnant but that was when I had broken up with her and she claimes the baby
was mine and I know damn well that, that was not my baby. Then after a while
she had a miscarriage.”
“How can you be so sure that child wasn’t yours?”
“I just know it wasn’t Ntando.” I am conflicted about this, what kind of a
woman would do that. It’s not right but on the other hand what if she really
was pregnant with Lwa’s child, she does sort of have a right to see her. But
reagardless they is no way in heaven or hell that I am going to allow my
brother to date that girl.
“And Lwandile I told you that my brother is dating that girl ad you didn’t think
it was important for you to tell me this?”
“Babe I’m sorry I didn’t want any drama and I didn’t think that their
relationship was actually serious.”
“Wow I can’t believe this.” Kanti uLwandile unjani bakwethu? I need some air.
“Ntando where are you going? come back and talk to me!!”, he says as I walk
out the door. I have to tell my brother this but I don’t know how, he seems to
really like this girl. I might not like Zama but I love my brother, I can’t let him be
blinded by this girl for all I know she might be doing the same thing to him. I
still don’t know how Lwandile could be so sure that the baby wasn’t his? What
if it actually was his? I want to trust him but I have a lot of questions. My
phone rings, its Olwethu.
“Bafo”
“How are you doing?”
“Not well, we need to talk.”
“Whats wrong is Lwandile ok?”, says the guy who doesn’t like him.
“Yes he is fine, I just want to talk to you.”
“Ok. I will pass by later.” I am actually nervous I don’t want to be the one
breaking my brothers heart but I have to protect him. I go back to Lwandile, as
I walk in he doesn’t seem too pleased.
“Ntando why did you walk away?”
“I was done talking.”

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“I know you are upset I kept this away from you.”
“Lwandile how sure could you be that, that baby was not yours?”
“Ntando if you want to believe Zama then be my guest but that baby was not
mine. So pick a side but make sure you know what you are doing.” Iheeee
LwAndile is giving me the ultimatum as if I am the one at fault.
“LwAndile please don’t dare and say that. I love you and I trust you but how
can you be so sure?”
“If you trust me Ntando then why can’t you just take my word with this.” I am
speechless, I really do trust Lwa but with this it different.
“If I also got pregnant with your baby is this how you are going to act?” He lets
out a huge sigh, he actually looks sad.
“Ntando I love you and I swear on my late father that I am being honest with
you right now, even though me and Zama were not on good terms at that time
I would’ve never neglected my baby. And if I got you pregnant I would send
cows to your family one time and make you my wife. Sthandwa sami I would
never lie to you. Now can we please put this behind us I hate it when you are
mad at me but you look sexy though.” I’m trying to hold back my smile but he
can see that he has already melted my heart. I know what Lwandile is like
when he is lying and right now I can tell he is being genuine.
“Come here”, he adds on. I get come near him and he kisses me. I can feel hot
flushes all over my body phela Lwandile makes me weak and I haven’t had a
piece of him in a while because last time our session was disturbed.
I start breathing heavily, I want him so bad but I know we can’t do the deed
since the doctor said he needs to take things easy.
“Let’s go to the bathroom”, he whispers as he gets up.
“We can’t have sex Lwa the docter said you should take things easy.”
“Ntando follow me.” Hayi ke Lwandile is stubborn, I want this too but he needs
to get well first. I follow him to the bathroom then he locks the door.
“Take off your pants.” He instructs me.
“Lwandile can we please ...”, he kisses me before I can even finish my
sentence. I lose myself.
“Stop fighting it”, he says as he pulls down my pants along with my underwear.
He starts kissing me again, I am sold. Need I remind you that this guy is still

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connected to a drip so ukuthi where he will get the energy to do the deed
angazi.
“Baby I haven’t been taking the pill and I don’t have any condoms with me.” I
say to the horny Lwa infront of me but he is acting as if he didn’t hear me then
he just puts it in. I gasp for air, this feels really good. He is going faster and I am
trying not to make any noise but DAMN!! This guy has me on lockdown I am
absolutely gone. He keeps pushing in me faster and deeper and it’s really
killing me.
“I’m sorry”, he whispers softly in my ears. I am so into it, that I don’t even want
to talk right now.
“For what?”
“Keeping things away from you.” Lwandile is is good I must give that to him, he
likes communicating like this because he knows he always has the upper hand.
“It’s fine baby but no more.”
“Ok I promise but you also have to promise me the same thing.”
“I promise no secrets.” He pushes it deeper into me again and then he pulls
out. He then dresses me up.
“I hate this”, he says.
“What?”
“Not having our own privacy now I have to eat you like a snack.” I giggle, he is
genuinely mad just because we had a quckie.
“We will have our privacy you just need to get better’, I then kiss him.
“I will. Thank you babe.”
“For what?”
“Being by my side when I needed you the most.” I kiss him.
“I really wouldn’t of chosen to be anywhere else.” I love this guy I would cross
mountains for him, I can’t imagine not having him in my life anyore.
“Did I scare you?”
“I thought I was going to lose you, I was terrified. I should’ve never left that
night.”
“I was getting violent and it scared you so I understand. I’m sorry for the way I
treated you when you were only just trying to take care of me.” This is actually
such a heart felt moment, I have tears in my eyes. When Lwa was in a comma I

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was willing to do anything just to see him looking at me the way he looking at
me now and to just hold me to his chest the way he holding me right now. I
don’t care about what happened I’m just happy to have him back.
“Ngyakthanda Manzini.”
“Ngyakthanda nami MaMthimkhulu.” He then hugs me tight. Moments like
this are what make life worth living.

It’s 6pm and my bae is still asleep after our little love making session he has
been down and out. The Khumalo’s along with Zethu just left an hour ago and
Lwa hasn’t woken up even once. I decied to text my Olwethu.
“Please come to the hospital alone so we can have that talk”
“I’ll be there in 10 minz.” Truth be told I am very nervous, I know what Olwethu is
like when he is mad and that is a side no one wants to see. But I have to tell
him, I might not know how but I have to.

My brother is here, we are at the hospitals cafeteria. I didn’t want to speak in

Lwandile’s ward in case he wakes up. I have been stalling and talking about
other thing’s but I can tell he is anxious.
“So sis what did you want us to talk about?”
“Zama”
“Here we go again.”
“Olwethu you don’t understand.”
“What Ntandokazi?”
“Look at this.”, I hand him my phone showing him the text she sent me. As
reads I can see his face change this definitely not going to end well I tell you.
“What baby???!!”, he says in confusion.
“I asked Lwandile and the reason why he and Zama broke up is because uZama
used to poke the condoms they used just so she could get pregnant with Lwa’s
child and ngathi at the time she was dating two other guys as well which she
did exactly the same thing to. She fell pregnant and later on had a miscarriage
but she claims it was Lwa’s baby but Lwa denies it. I am worried about you I
don’t want you to fall for her trap Olwethu.”

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“INI???!!”, he is fuming mad.
“I’m sorry bro”
“Nxx I have to go sis.”
“Please be safe.”
“I will, thank you.” He leaves just like that. I hate that I am the one who had to
do this but I have to protect my brother. I walk back to the ward and my bae is
already awake.
“Where were you?”
“I was with Olwethu at the cafeteria”
“Ow ok. Please join me.” I get on the bed and lay on my bae’s chest. I really
missed this.
“So you told him”
“Yes Lwandile I had to.”
“I understand babe.” I snuggle up to my bae. When Lwandile get well I need to
start talking to him about me going back home so I can ready to head back to
school I know that he won’t like the idea but that time has come.

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 CHAPTER 9

Lwandile has been in the hospital for a week now and finally he has been
discharged the docter I hopeful that after another week of resting he should be
fully recovery. Things have been difficult in the past few days especially with
the whole Olwethu and Zama drama, they have broken up but my brother is
hurt and it breaks me to see him like that. Lwa and I just got back from hospital
and he is resting and I am preparing food for him for when he wakes up so he
can take his medication. Then there is a knock on the door, it’s the security
guard.
“Sorry ngokuphazamisa MaMthimkhulu, there is a young woman at the gate
who has asked to see uBhuti Lwandile.” I wonder who that could be but for the
week that Lwandile was in hospital a whole lot of people that I don’t know
came to visit him from family to collegues to friends.
“Let her in Bhuti Sandile.” I’m here just praying it’s not anymore drama from
Lwa’s ex’s because I am honestly going to lose it. As I wait by the door a young
girl walks in she looks my age, she has short hair and she is a melanin baby but
I can see a lot of Lwa in her and it’s weird. She is wearing an old dress that
isn’t in good condition and a pair of old pumps.
“Sawbona sisi I’m sorry for interrupting you but I hope I am in the right house, I
am looking for Lwandile Zungu”, she says looking around the house.
“Yes you are in the right house, but pardon me you are?.”
“I am Nozuko.”
“Nice to meet you I am Ntando, Lwandile is still resting but I can go wake him
up.”
“No sis Ntando it’s fine I will wait.”
“Ok it’s fine meanwhile can I get you anything to drink or eat?”
“Can I have something to eat please.”
“Ok uhrm you can sit here while I prepare your food.” I say as we enter the
lounge. I head to the kitchen and dish up some food and I serve it to her along
with something to drink. As I am about to serve her I catch her still scanning
the lounge.
“Here you go”, I say handing Nozuko her food. She does not waste any time

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she starts digging in, she is eating like someone who hasn’t eaten in days.
“I can dish up more food for you.” She slows down and looks at me, she seems
embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, I’ve just never had food this good.” I just made samp and beef stew
and that’s it.
“It’s fine dig in”, I say with a smile.
“So sis Ntando if you don’t mind me asking are you and bhut’ Lwandile
married?” I giggle.
“No I am just his girlfriend and how do you know Lwandile?” She starts drilling
the floor I guess my question has made her feel uncomfortable.
“It’s fine you don’t need to answer that if you don’t want to.” She nods.

Two hours have passed by since Nozuko came and we are having a blast, we
watched a movie, had a swim and we’ve we’ve been downing some junk food.
This might seem weird because she is a stranger and I don’t even know who
she is but I feel at peace with her I doubt she could be Lwa’s ex plus they look
much alike for that.
“Babe”, I can hear Lwandile calling me inside the house. I rush to him.
“Sthandwa sami”
“You were swimming?”
“Yes my love, how are you feeling?”
“I’m ok babe.”
“Uhrm by the way there is somebody here to see you.”, he looks shocked.
“Who?”
“Her name is Nozuko, we were taking a swim together.” He looks even more
confused.
“Who is Nozuko?” Ok this is hella weird how could someone come here to see
Lwandile but Lwandile doesnt know her.
“Haibo baby uhrm we were chilling by the pool, come and plus she looks a lot
like you”, I say pulling him. Lwandile is confused. We get to the pool area and
Nozuko seems nervous as she see’s me coming with LwAndile.
“Sawbona Bhuti Lwandile”, she says looking at the floor.
“Hey”, Lwandile looks at me it seems like he really doesn’t know her.

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“I am Nozuko Mhlongo I know you might not know me but I have come a long
way to come look for you. Bab Shabalala is the one who said I might find you
here, my mother is Grace Ndaba.” Lwandile looks shocked.
“You are my sister??”, Lwandile asks looking shocked. She nods. Grace must be
Lwa’s biological mother.
“What are you doing here?” Lwa looks a bit frustrated.
“Hayi haw Lwandile you can’t talk to her like that. I’m sorry Nozuko, Lwandile
can be a bit rude sometimes.”
“It’s fine sis Ntando. I’m here to plead you to go see umama she is very sick
Bhuti Lwandile and you are all she talks about. She explained to me what
happened in the past and I understand the way you might feel but she really
needs to see you otherwise her spirit will never be at rest. She is your mother
after all and this is the only opportunity you will ever have to make peace with
her, she doesn’t have much time left.” Lwandile looks mad, he gets like this
everytime when someone who mentions his biological mother.
“ANGIYI LAPHO!!!! That woman is not my mother and neither will she ever
be.” He then walks away. Lwandile scares me when he is like this. Nozuko is
completely terrified, she starts crying.
“I’m sorry Nozuko”, I say hugging her.
“Why didn’t you tell me though?”, I add on.
“I was nervous I thought that you would kick me out without me getting the
chance to even talk to Lwandile.”
“Never, I also want Lwandile to go see his mother but it hasn’t been easy trying
to convience him. I know you don’t mean any harm.” I don’t know how I am
going to get Lwandile to go see his mother but I have to find a way.
“Let’s go inside I need to dish up food for you angry brother.” We both giggle.

Nozuko and I are in the lounge and the grouchy bae is in his room, we are kind
of not in good terms I don’t like the way he spoke to Nozuko earlier. Lwandile
walks in and hands me the keys of his G-Wagon.
“I am in no condition to drive so you will drive us. Nozuko follow us.” Firstly I
have never even drove any of Lwandiles cars and secondly I don’t even know
where we are heading to. We get up and we follow bae Lwa into the garage, I

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don’t want to lie I am excited I really like this car but the SL is absolutely
stunning.
“Where are we going?”, I ask as I reverse the car.
“Drive I will direct you”. I wonder what we are going to do there but let me
drive and enjoy the feel of this baby.

After our very long drive we finally get to the Cemetary in Mandeni and he
hands me and Nozuko head scarfs and instructs us to wear them. It’s been
awkward in the car he hasn’t said a word since we left. I am mad at him but I
can’t help but worry about him, I hate it when he looks bothered like this. We
get out of the car and we follow him. Finally we finally stop near two beautiful
thombstones written Zungu boldly on the sides. I stand a bit further then
Nozuko and Lwandile I need to show respect. One of the thomstones is written
“Bafana Solomon Zungu” and the other one is written “Langa Zungu”. Lwandile
then starts saying the Zungu clan names.
“MaMthimkhulu please come near.” I do just as he instructs.
“Ntandokazi and Nozuko this is my fathers and brothers thombstone. My
father named my younger brother uLanga because while your mother was
pregnant with him he lost his job and things for us at home went down hill, I
was only 6 years old at the time and he didn’t know how he was going to take
care of us and the baby on the way. But even though things were bad and he
was in darkness the birth of his son bought light into his life because his birth
gave him hope.” Lwandile looks so emotional right now I am torn apart.
“Anyways when your mother left it was because she had found a man who
promised her a better life. We woke up one morning and she had left with all
her belongings the only thing left from her was a note apologizing to us but
that my father’s efforts were not good enough for her, she left an address
where we could send her letters. My dad was heart broken and he fell into
depression but like any other good father he was there for us and he did all he
can to provide for us. So years later when ubaba was sick I had to take care of
him and Langa, we had no stable income so after school I had to go hustle for
jobs here and there and even beg for food to feed my sick father and young
brother. When my dad passed away your mother didn’t even bother to come

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pay her respects or to come take us. She knew damn well that our dad was all
we had but still nothing. They were rumors that she was in Johanesburg and
one of our neighbours offered to take us there to look for her and when we
finally found her she gave us some money and chased us away. I was ony 17 at
the time but I had to make way for me and my brother to survive. I finished
school but then I got mixed up with the wrong crowd so I was hardly around to
actually be there for Langa I was out there trying to put clothes on his back and
food on his plate. A year later Langa was hit by a car on his way back home
from soccer practice. That night I failed him because I couldn’t protect him I
was never around and I was just like the mother who abandoned us since I
couldn’t be there for him. Still your Mother Nozuko never pitched up to bury
her son. I was all alone in this world I had no one, my behavior then got worse I
started stealing cars and I was in and out of jail and I also started taking drugs. I
didn’t care what happened to me I just needed to numb my pain. After that
Shaka’s dad heard about what had happened and my mischevious behavior
and he took me in and straightened me out. So you two please forgive me if I
don’t want to see that woman but she has never loved or cared about me, my
brother and my father so I will never care about her. It’s only now since she is
about to lose her life that she realizes that she made a mistake and she wants
to fix things but where was she the past 18 years of my life? Where was she
when I needed her? I will never forgive that woman.”
Lwandile then breaks down in tears, I have never seen him hurt like this it’s the
worst thing ever. I also have tears in my eyes and so does Nozuko and I decide
to hug my baby I didn’t even imagine that this story might be this deep now I
understand why Lwandile feels the way he does. It could be hard for anyone to
forgive after all of this has happened to them. I don’t know what to say to him.
“Bhuti Lwandile I am sorry I didn’t know that so much had happened to you”,
she breaks down in tears.
“Nozuko it’s not your fault. Ntando can we please leave I just want to rest right
now.” We all head to the car, to say that I am heart broken right now it would
be an understatement. I am out of words I don’t even know how to comfort
my bae but what I can tell is that Lwandile is carrying around a lot of hurt and
bitterness that will haunt him for the rest of his life is he doesn’t go see his

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mother. I don’t expect him to forgive and forget everything but he needs to
make peace with his past even though he was completely broken by it.

It’s night time and I convinced Nozuko to stay for the night. I will go in the
morning to buy her clothes and toiletries and what ever she needs. Lwandile is
in his room and I served him his dinner there, Nozuko and I are having supper
alone in the lounge.
“So Nozuko how old are you?”
“I am turning 20 years old this year.”, I thought as much we are practically the
same age.
“You are done with high school so what are you busy with?”
“Nothing at the moment when I finished my matric uMa started being sick so I
rejected the bursay offer I had so I can look after her.”
“Your father?”
“He is a drunkard. He lost everything we had when I was only just 12 years old
and we fell into poverty. We moved to Bergville to start our lives there.” This is
just sad, Nozuko gave up her dreams and goals just so she could look after her
mum.
“What’s wrong with uMa?”
“She was diagnosed with breast cancer, by the time we found out it was
already too late and plus we couldn’t even afford the treatment so I just sat
and watched my mother’s life drain out of her. I don’t regret sacrificing school
for her sis Ntando because I want to be there for here in her last days, I can still
seek for an education later but this is the only mother I have I can never get
another one.”
“I understand I would’ve probably done the same thing if I were in your shoes.
But how are you providing for your family?”
“I work as a cashier at some spaza shop near home. It’s doesn’t pay me much
but it’s enough to get us through.” I really feel sorry for Nozuko just like her
brother life has taught her to be a though cookie at a young age.
“You are just as strong as your brother”
“I am not even close sisi, ubhut’ Lwa is phenominal I would’ve never been able
to deal with the things he dealt with at his age. You know even though he

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never had it that easy and mum failed him I really would’ve wished he
would’ve just came to see her just so he could make peace with everything.”
I definitely get where she is coming from.
“I am with you on that one but don’t worry we will figure things out.” We
share a smile together.

I’m in bed with the bae and Nozuko is settled in the guest room. My bae is still
upset but I don’t blame him today has been an emotional day. I don’t know
whether to sleep near him so we can cuddle or for me to stay on my side of the
bed. I decide sleeping on my side of the bed.
“Why are you so far away from me?” thank god he said that I want to be in his
arms right now.
“I thought you wanted space.” He pulls me close to him. I am snuggly in the
arms of a man that I love, even though he might be troubled but I am just
happy to be with him as he goes through this.
“I miss this”, he says touching my cookie. Yah neh phela the last time we did
the deed was that day in hospital when had just regained full stability and for
the rest of the time there we couldn’t because people kept interrupting us.
“Your sister is a room away from us.” He doesn’t listen and he gets under the
sheets. I start laughing because he is tickling me.
“Baby stop it!!!” He then stops and starts kissing my tighs. I am melted
because I know where this is going. He takes off my pj pants and then he eats
my cookie. He is a bit rougher then usual but it’s not that I mind its just
that I know when he does this it’s when he is mad. He comes up and takes out
my pj t-shirt and starts kissing my breast, what I’m feeling right now is
absolutely sensational for some reason this feels more intimate then it’s ever
been before. He takes out his D and starts rubbing it on my cookie, this feels so
amazing it makes me want him more but then I guess that’s the plan. He takes
my legs and places them in his shoulders and he get’s in there. I gasp for air I
am enjoying this. I start moaning. He goes faster and faster, I can literally feel
my legs getting weak. I am in my little heaven as always, he starts shaking then
he shoots his load in me. Instead of stopping he continues and he is much
slower this time around it feels sentimental and passionate, we are kissing and

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all that jazz.
“Sthandwa sami”,
“Yes baby.” Gosh I sound so horny right now but how could I not with Lwandile
thrushing against me like this.
“Will you marry me?” Hayi ke Lwandile has got to be kidding me.
“What???’, He pushes in deeper after I ask.
“Will you be my wife?”
“Uhrm baby not now.”
“Why not?”
“Can we please just wait for at least a year then we will see then. “
“Ntandokazi I want you to be mine!!”
“I am yours”. He starts kissing my neck, I don’t know how he expects us to talk
when he keeps seducing me like this.
“Promise me you will marry me in a year”
“Baby I can’t ...” he pushes even deeper. I practically have his whole huge thing
in me right now and I am left with no breath.
“Ok ok I promise.” I can’t believe I just made a promise with I’m not sure I am
even going to keep but I can’t be held accountable Lwa practically tortured me.
It’s the nice type of touture if you know what I mean. He thrushes on me faster
again and I am about to climax and so is he I can tell because he is shaking.
“FUCK LWANDILE ... FUCK YESSSS !!”, we come together it’s sweet. Tonight has
been a night of passion we have never had sex like this before. I am just
praying that Lwandile forgets that I promised to marry him. Don’t get me
wrong I really do love Lwandile but our love is still fresh I just want us to enjoy
just being a young inlove couple. Above all of that I am doing to honours this
year I need to concentrate and planning a wedding is not a good way to keep
focus. I know that me and Lwandile are still going to go through a whole lot
more and if I have to choose him as my life partner I need to make sure he
would still be the guy I need in the next 10 years.

I am laying on Lwa’s chest. When I am here with him I really wish that time
could just stop and all of life’s troubles and it could just be us. I might as well
use this time to talk to Lwa about him going to see his mother, I hope this

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doesn’t spoil the mood. But they say pillow talk is the best type of
communication.
“Baby please don’t be mad.” He lets out a huge sigh, I think he knows what I
want to talk about. He nods.
“Sthandwa sami today you shared with me something that’s very sentimental,
now I really do understand why you are so emotional when we talk about you
mother but Lwandile you need to confront her. I can tell that you have a lot of
things that you wish to ask her and at the end of it all I don’t want you to
regret not using this opportunity. Whether you forgive her or not is totally up
to you but you need to find closure and make peace with the past. Ngyakcela
Manzini just try to see things the way we do, we all want whats best for you
this isn’t some punishment.” Lwandile is silent so I get up to look at him and he
doesn’t look mad but it seems like he really is considering it.
“Ngyakuzwa MaMthimkhulu just let me think about.” I feel like dancing I am
excited, It’s promising and that’s all I am grateful for. I kiss him just to sweeten
the deal a little bit.
“What’s that for?” he asks.
“A thank you for listening to me.”
“I could definitely get used to this”. Leans in again to kiss me. I can feel electric
shocks go straight to my cookie. I pull back, we can’t Lwa still needs to rest it’s
the doctor’s instructions.
“Baby kuyalalwa manje”. He giggles.
“Ok MaMthimkhulu I love you”
“I love you too.” I sunggle up on my bae’s arms, I really love thim. Lwandile and
I have been together a month now but it feels like I have known him my whole
life, I love him more everyday. He gives me strength yet he is my weakness, he
makes everyday a better day just because I have him. I am inlove with him and
I don’t see myself with anyone else because I don’t want anyone else but him.

It’s morning and I’m done cleaning and now I am making breakfast. I managed
to sneak out to get some morning after pills because Lwandile these days is
less keen on using a condom. Nozuko is taking a bath, I don’t want her to do
anything while she is here she just needs to take a break and my bae is

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sleeping. I am going to buy her a few clothes and toiletries, I don’t have much
cash but it will just have to do.
“Sis Ntando.”, Nozuko says walking in the kitchen. She looks cute in the clothes
I gave her.
“Nozuko please stop calling me Sisi we are the same age.”
“I respect you that’s why but I will stop and Ntando thank you.”
“For what?”
“Your hospitality, when I came here you didn’t even know who I was but you
took care of me. You welcomed me with an open heart and even when you
and Bhut’ Lwandile found out who I was you didn’t change towards me. Bhut’
Lwandile would be a fool to let a good woman like you get away infact if I were
him you would be my wife already.” We both laugh.
“It’s nothing Nozuko.”
“But it means alot to me.” I am touched so I can hug her. I’m starting to teary
phela I am a very emotional person.
“Ok before I start crying let me call your brother to come have breakfast with
us.” I really want Lwandile to bond with Nozuko afterall she is his sister and not
mine, it’s important that they have a relationship. I know that Nozuko is scared
of Lwa but I don’t blame her Lwandile is a bit intermidating.

I get to the room and Lwa is sleeping like a little baby. I like starring at him
when he is asleep he looks so peaceful.
“Baby wake up.”
“Suqalile Ntando can I please just sleep for a couple more hours. It’s the
Doctor’s orders.” Lwa is a slick he has always been a sleepy head the only
difference is that now he has an excuse.
“Baby please wake up.”
“No.” Well I know how to get him up. I go to the kitchen and fetch an ice and I
put it my mouth and I head back to the room. I get under the sheets and I start
licking the tip of his very erected D with my very cold tounge. He gets a shock.
“Fuck Babe what are you doing??” I will not answer that. I put the little block
that was in my mouth in his waist I then put D in my mouth, he starts grabing
the sheets. I wish I could see his facial expression right now, I like it when I

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pleasure him. I keep pushing his thing in my cold mouth. I pull out and I put the
ice block that melting on his waiste in my mouth and I keep rubbing it on his v-
lines. He gasps for air.
“Babe that’s cold.” I put the ice in my mouth and while I wait for it to melt I
kiss his v-lines and lick them as well. The ice is finally melted so I put his D in
my mouth again, I start going faster. He grabs the sheets again and doesn’t let
go of them.
“Ntando move!!”, I move. I don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.
He cums. I don’t want to lie I feel very satisfied. He heads to the bathroom.
“Damn please wake me that all the time in future.”
“Nope it was just your lucky day.”
“We will see about that.” He winks at me. This guy is crazy.
“Baby it’s breakfsast time ashambe Nozuko is waiting downstairs.” I thought he
was going to resist but he dresses up and we head downstairs.
We are done having breakfast and it has been awkward. Nozuko hasn’t said a
word it’s just the tv and me making noise. I know that Nozuko is afraid of Lwa
because even when Lwa calls her name she jumps in fear and I am going to
change that.
“So baby we are going to go to the mall today do you want to go with us?”
“No, when women are at malls they go crazy. Just so I don’t become irritating
it’s best I stay behind.”
“Alright so does this mean you will borrow me one of your cars?” I know I am
just pushing my luck but a girls gotta try I know that his favorite car was the
GLE and now that it’s gone he couldn’t car much for the other cars. He giggles.
“You can take the SL, but please be safe.” I feel like jumping up and down I love
the SL, it’s my dream car. I have always wanted to get my hands on it even if
it’s just reversing the car.
“Thank you baby thank you.” I start kissing him. Lwandle pushes me away.
“Ntando we are not alone.” Lwa seems a bit embarrsed.
“I’m sorry Nozuko.” Nozuko is giggling.
“It’s fine sis Ntando.” Here we go again with sisi.
“Nozuko!!”
“I’m sorry old habits die hard.”

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“Ok so let me go take a bath.” I want to give them a moment to bond. Nozuko
gets up with me and starts taking the plates we were eating on.
“Nozuko sit I will take care of that”, she is not escaping that easily it’s time for
her to actually have a conversation with his brother that isn’t orchestrated by
me.

I look so good today, I am wearing some hella tight jeans they are showcasing
all my assets, an open back shirt and my glass heel. As I walk into the dining
room I like what I am seeing they are both sitting in one couch and they are
doing something on the iPad and they are laughing.
“Look at you two.” They both look at me. Lwa looks shocked.
“Ntando you look beautiful”, Nozuko says. Lwandile is speechless. Nozuko
pushes him.
“Uhrm I’m sorry, baby where are you going to?”
“The mall remember.”
“Dressed like that??” Ok that is definitely not the compliment I was expecting
“Bhuti Lwandile that is not a compliment”, Nozuko says.
“Thank you Nozuko”, I say.
“Ok I’m sorry. Sthandwa sami you look amazing but I can’t let you go like that I
don’t want guys thinking they can try their luck.” Jealousy I tell you.
“Baby I am not going to change, Nozuko will guard me.” He turns to look at
Nozuko and she nods.
“Eish ok but everytime when I call you answer the phone!!”
“Baby I will. Come on Nozuko lets go.” Nozuko gets up and just as we are about
to leave Lwandile gives me his black card.
“Babe please get her everything she needs and anything you also think she
needs.” Iheee kuzonyiwa macala onke then I guess.

I am at the mall with Nozuko and she looks completely amazing, I have pulled
of the complete total make over. He nail’s and hair are done, she has a whole
new outfit on and she looks gorgeous. We are have having a blast we just came
from the movies and now we are having lunch. It’s time for me to dig deeper
and find out a little bit more about Nozuko.

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“So Nozuko do you have a boyfriend?”. She chokes on her food.
“No I don’t, I haven’t had the time to date.”
“Really?? But you are so beautiful.”
“Yeap the only time I ever got close to being with someone is when my dad
wanted to marry of to some rich old man who had 4 wives.”
“So you are still a virgin?”, she looks down. This is interesting Nozuko is still a
virgin but I am not shocked the first time I had intercourse was when I was 18.
“Yes I am.”
“That is interesting but never be ashamed of it, always treasure it. It’s a good
thing.” As we are talking I get a phone call from Lwa, this is the third time he is
calling by the way.
“Sthandwa sami?”
“Where are you two?”
“We are having lunch at Spur baby”
“Ok I’m coming.” Haw kanjalo nje, great now our girl time is over. I love my
Lwa but he is a very impatient man, he is not the type of guy you go with into 7
clothing shops and he watches you as you fit 6 or 7 outfits. He wants you to
walk in a shop, pick out an outfit then you leave wheather it fits you right or
not is not of his concern

Lwandile is here we had to wait for him finish eating before we could leave
spur. He asked us to follow him and we are entering a Vodashop. I have no
idea what we are doing her.
“Nozuko pick any phone you want”, he instructs.
“For who?”, Nozuko says looking at his brother with her big eyes.
“For yourself”, thank God an upgrade was long over due the phone she is
carrying is even older then her it’s one of those old nokia phones which have a
grey screen. Nozuko is going crazy she can’t believe it, I am glad that she is
happy. She is pancing around the store and she finally get’s one she likes it’s
the new Sumsung Galaxy Note 8, I also like this phone it’s very proper. Lwa
buys her the phone and we head to istore.
“Do you like this laptop”, Lwandile says pointing the Apple MacBook pro. She
nods. It’s so nice and slick I also like this one. He heads to the counter and

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purchases is. Nozuko is so happy right now but who wouldn’t be his brother is
going all out.
“What else do you want?”, thixo!! Lwandile is still willing to spend more but he
owes it to his sister I undertand that they are making up for lost time.
“You’ve already done so much for me Bhuti Lwandile nawe Ntando I have no
words to thank you.”, she says in tears then hugs her brother. This is so cute I
love that they are starting to warm up to each other.
“I would do absolutely anything to make you happy”, Lwa says embracing his
sister. I feel like crying, I am happy. Nozuko’s skorokoro phone rings, she
answers it and as she talks to the phone I notice her joy turn into sadness. She
is done talking to the phone and she looks absolutely heart broken.
“Whats wrong Nozuko?”, I ask.
“Guys I have to go umama needs me, its been fun being together but I really
must go. Thank you for everything.”
“What happened?” Lwa asks. I am glad he is taking more of an interest now,
this is promising.
“I asked uMama Shabalala to cook and check up on uMa while I am here. Yena
noBab Shabalala have been so good to us I knew I could depend on them. I left
some money with Mama Shabalala incase they needed anything apparently
ubaba came to them and demanded that money so he can go buy booze and
threatened them and told them not to set foot at home ever again.” I see
Lwandile is getting frustrated.
“I’m so sorry about that Nozuko”, I say hugging her.
“Let’s go we will take you back”, Lwandile. Nozuko and I are shocked we did
not see that one coming.
“Baby are you sure?”
“Yes Ntando I have made up my mind, we will leave this afternoon.” I am
happy but nervous at the same time and Nozuko is just plain excited she hugs
her brother. Lwa thanks the manager and then we leave.

We get Lwa’s place and we are packing, Lwa says we will come back tomorrow.
He called Baba and Ma Khumalo and they are happy that finally Lwandile is
going to see his mum but we are all nervous because we don’t know what to

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expect but we all have to just hope for the best.
“Baby?”, I call out. He looks at me.
“Relax everything is going to be ok, I am here for you.” Lwa hasn’t said a word
since we got here and he has been looking a bit stressed out.
“I know babe I just don’t know what to expect”, he says drilling the floor. I
guess he is nervous. I walk up to him and I kiss him.
“Don’t worry I promise everything will be ok.” He lets out a huge sigh then he
hugs me.
“Ok I trust you, let’s go sthandwa sami.” For the first time I have to drive long
distance I know I will be dead tired when we get to Bergville.

We have arrived at Bergville, Nozuko is directing me to her home. Bae Lwa is

dead nervous right now but so am I.
“Please stop Ntando, this it.”, she says pointing to a small mud house. Bergville
is your ordinary rural area but it has beautiful mountains and it is famous for
that, there are a lot of of resorts here. As I am trying to get out of the car
Lwandile holds me.
“Ntando we will come back tomorrow morning for now we will just drop off
uZuko.” Iheeee Lwa even gave her a nickname this is sweet.
“Haw Bhuty Lwandile can’t you just come in to greet?”
“No Zuko we need to make a proper arrival tomorrow and right now it’s late.” I
guess Lwa does have a point, you can’t not see someone for 18 years and then
boom you show up at night to see them.
“Ntando please talk to Bhuti Lwandile.” I can see that Nozuko doesn’t like the
idea us leaving but they isn’t anything I can do.
“Ngyaxolisa Nozuko but they is nothing I can do. We will come back
tomorrow.” She looks down.
“Ok then, good night.”
“Good night Zuko.” Nozuko takes her things and gets out of the car I can tell
that she is heart broken but I don’t blame her.

We are settled in a near by BnB, I am exhausted and I need to take a shower

and rest. I am still checking my whatsapp texts.

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“Babe you will find me in the shower”, my Zulu king says walking naked. As I
take of my clothes I get a phone call from an unknown number.
“Hello.”
“Ntando I’m back in Durban, can we please meet”, this voice sounds familiar.
“Pardon me but who is this?”
“It’s Nsika, Ntando please I need you in my life.” Is it me or is this guy insane.
“I have to go.”
“Ntando please”. I drop the phone call. I can’t believe that just happened but
anyway I have my naked bae waiting for me I can’t be stressing about such
stupid things. I get into the shower Lwa’s body is covered in soap, guy’s he
looks so sexy till this day I’m still not over his physique his body is the cherry on
top of everything.
“What took you so long?” he says pushing me against the wall.
“I was on the phone babe I am sorry.” He leans in to kiss me. I am weak, his
soapy sexy body was enough for me. He starts bathing me, as the water hits
my body I actually realise how tired I am.
“Thank you baby for coming here. I know its’s not easy for you”, I say to him.
“Well you actually had a point, I do need to make peace with the past. Thank
you for making me realise that.” I kiss him.
“Are you ready?”
“To be honest I don’t know. We will just have have to wait and see how
everything goes tomorrow.” I also don’t know what to expect but I hope that
whatever that happens we end up leaving this place on a good note. After the
shower we head straight to bed, we are both very tired.

“Good Morning Sthandwa sami”, Lwa says waking me up. As I open my eyes he
is carring a tray with a full English breakfast, a fruit salad and a glass of fruit
juice. Am I the luckiest woman on earth or what?
“Is this for me?”
“Yes babe”, he says handing me the tray.
“What time is it? Phela you never wake up early.”
“Is that the thank you I get?” I lean to kiss him.
“I’m sorry baby, this looks delicious.”

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“Before I forget I actually bought you this. Out of his pocket he takes out a
beaded wrist band and puts it on my wrist.
“This is to show that you are mine, you are taken.” I giggle. Zulu people have
different beadwork for different meanings. It’s deep zulu people that still do
the exchange of beadwork. I’m impressed I didn’t take Lwa for that type of
guy.
“It’s beautiful”, I love it. It might seem insignificant to some but this right here
is a representation of his deep, unconditional and untampered love for me.
“You will take this off the day I put a ring on this finger!”
“So not even when I’m asleep?”
“No!”
“When I wash the dishes?”
“No!”
“When we make love?” he looks at me and giggles.
“Especially not then.”
“Ok I won’t, I love you.”
“I love you too but eat MaMthimkhulu so we can get ready to leave.”
“What are you going to eat?”
“I don’t have an appetite.”
“Nonsense breakfast is the most important meal of the day, we will eat
together.”
“No babe I really am fine.” I then give him the don’t dare mess with me look.
“Ok fine babe.” We then start eating, I love it when Lwa does the smallest
things just to make me happy no matter how stupid he thinks they are, he still
does them for me.

We are now on our way to Nozuko’s home, Lwandile is nervous I can tell but so
am I. The Khumalo’s have been calling all morning to support their boy.
“Baby everything is going to be ok”, I say holding is hand.
“I know babe, I have my lucky charm with me”, he says with a smile. We are
now infront of the gate now, Lwa has asked Nozuko to come welcome us by
the gate. We walk into the house, it’s a small three room house with one bed
room, a bathroom and then the lounge and kitchen are in the same space.

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This is not a healthy environment for a sick person person to be in. We walk
into the bedroom and Lwa’s mum is laying there, she looks deadly sick. Life has
been drained out of her but Lwandile definitely looks like his mum, he and
Nozuko are replicas of her. Lwandile has been holding my hand tight from the
time we got out of the car as if I said I would run away.
“Ma, Bhuti Lwandile is here”, Nozuko says waking up her mum.
“Lwandile mfana wami.”, she says with a broken smile on her face. Lwa looks
me, he is a bit hesitant to go near her. I nod and he kneels beside the bed,
“Ma”, he calls out.
“I’m so happy you came my boy, I had already lost hope”, she starts crying.
“Ma why did you never love us? Why weren’t we good enough for you?”
I am starled I didn’t think that would be the first thing Lwandile would say to
his mother. His Mother continue to cry, this is sad.
“It is not that my boy, I always had deep love for you, your brother and father
but I was young and then I thought that money was everything. Your father
was the love of my life but he couldn’t provide me with the wealth I desired, I
grew up in a poor family and then when me and your father married I thought
my life would get better but it didn’t. I finally met Nozuko’s father and he was
my ticket to a better life. I then fell pregnant with Nozuko and Nozuko’s father
was going to move to Johannesburg so I decided to leave with him, when I
asked Nozuko’s father if I could come with you and he rejected that. I only had
one option to stay behind or leave with him and I made the worst decision and
I left. Then your father and brother passed away I wanted to come fetch you
but Nozuko’s father did not allow me but I blame myself. I know I made alot of
stupid and selfish decisions in life and I know you suffered the most because
my carelessness please forgive me my son, I know it might be too late but
please know I regret hurting you.” She keeps gasping for air as she speaks.
Tears are rolling down my eyes as Lwa’s mum pleads him for forgiveness. Right
now it’s hard to figure out whats on in Lwa’s mind, he is just quiet he doesn’t
seem mad or confused or hurt he just has a pocker face and that can not be a
good thing.
“Ma why didn’t you come to me for help when you found out you had cancer”,
Lwandile.

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“How could I after all I did to you? Besides I have lived my life it’ time for me to
rest but I can’t do that without making amends with you.” There is an awkward
silence after that, Lwa is a bit puzzled.
“Yazi ma I have been holding this grudge for a long time, it took one special
woman in my life to make me realie it wasn’t worth it anymore. I forgive you
ma I wouldn’t want to go through life knowing I didn’t fix things when I had the
chance to. I will always love you ma and even though it’s hard to accept what
happened I have to make peace with it.” Nchoo my bae is finally forgiving his
mum, this is so emotional.
“Ngyabonga mfana wami.” Nozuko and I are just starring at them, the mother
and son moment.
“Lwandile you still haven’t introduced me to the woman you are going with.”
Nozuko smiles and looks at me and right then I feel my heart beating fast. Lwa
smiles and stares at me so I kneel beside him.
“Ma this is the special woman I was speaking about, Ntandokazi Mthimkhulu.
This woman will be my wife someday soon.” Lwandile is too forward
sometimes.
“Sawbona ma.” I say.
“Ngyabonga mntanami”, she says looking at me with her broken smile.
“For what ma?”
“Bringing my son to me, you must be a remarkable woman.”
“It’s nothing ma ngiyamthanda uLwandile.” I really do I would cross mountains
for my man right here.
“That’s good. Lwandile I need you to promise me something”. He then nods
“I want you to please take care of your sister please make sure she has a future
brighter then this. She is an amazing girl and I wouldn’t of asked for a better
daughter but she has lived for me long enough it’s time for her to live her own
life. Please just promise me that will take care of her.”
“I will ma.” This what I call a really heart felt moment. I really am glad that we
are here and even though my bae won’t admit it I know he is glad too.

The day has gone by and we had a great time with Nozuko and her mum,
unfortunately we didn’t see her dad because he had to attend a nearby

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funeral. Me and bae Lwa are back in Durban, I’m still figuring out how to tell
him that I need to leave and go back home to get ready for school. I know that
he definitely won’t like that but it’s time to cross that bridge.
“Babe are you ok?”, he asks looking a me with his concerned face.
“We need to talk.”
“Whats wrong babe?”
“Baby its mid January and I really need to go back home so I can get ready to
go back to school.” He looks sad as if I just broke his heart.
“I knew this day would come babe, when are you leaving?”
“Monday.”
“Monday???? That’s only 2 days away, please babe can you please atleast
spend another week?”
“But baby ...”, he kisses me and interrupts me while speak. It feels like he is
saying good bye, this kiss is just intense.
“Just one more week”, he says whist kissing me. Lwa is not a fair team player
he always seduces me into giving him what he wants but I should really start
learning how to stand my ground. I pull back and stare him in the eyes.
“No Lwa, Wednesday is as far as I am willing to push it.”
“Ok, well then let’s go.”
“Where to baby?”
“The movies then we will have dinner afterwards.” I continue to relax he can’t
be serious I am tired.
“Babe I am serious, lets go freshen up.” Eish Lwa can be really irritating at
times but we have to make the best of the time we have left together. I get up
and change.

We are at the movies and we are seated at the top coner I have no idea why
Lwa chose these seats but I love the we are the only ones seated here the rest
of the people are 3 rows in front of us. These seats just make me want to get
kinky with Lwa, he is concentrating too much. I lean to kiss his neck.
“Babe stop it”, he says giggling.
“Why?”, I ask bitting his ear lobe. He then kisses me, he is craving me real bad I
can tell by the way he is kissing me. He pulls away and gives me the dirty smile.

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“Behave yourself MaMthimkhulu.”
“But I don’t want to.” He kisses me again, Lwa and I are hot if it weren’t for the
public eyes the deed would be already be in process.
“Let’s go!”, he instructs me.
“The movie?”
“We can still come catch the last one at night or tomorrow.”
“Dinner?”
“Take aways!” And just like that we leave, we’ve barely even touched the
snacks we bought but that is Lwandile for you.

We are just driving in this house. He decided to drive apprantly I drive too slow
I bet that’s how he got into the accident in the first place. As I get out of the
door he comes and picks me up, I guess I am being too slow for him. When you
enter Lwa’s house from the garage you walk into the kitchen my baby doesn’t
hesitate and puts me in the kitchen counter and gets on top of me. We start
kissing and he undresses me and I undress him too, things are getting steamy
today we are rough AF even I am in on this one. He slides his thing in, I gasp for
air and then Lwandile starts fucking the life out of me.
He has never been like this I guess I just awoken the beast in him. This feels so
good but I feel my body giving up on me I think I am about to cum but I cant
it’s still too early. Lwa keeps going deeper and deeper as he goes faster and
faster I can’t hold it much longer.
“FUCK YESSSS … FUCK YESSS LWANDILE!! OW FUCK OW FUCK!!”, I cum. Lwa
gives me the dirty smile.
“Get on your knees”, he whispers in my ear. I feel one shock go straight to my
cookie. I do just as I am told. I get on my knees and I put my chest against the
table and he start’s fucking me all over again. I can feel my cookie go insane I
swear this has to be one of the best sex we’ve ever had before generally
Lwandile is rough when he is mad but this time around it’s because he is just
craving me. He keeps pulling my waist against him going deeper and I can feel
myself losing my breath. He keeps thrushing in I am lost in my own world. I
take my hat of for Lwa this guy can really please me he reaches places with me
I have never been to. Again I feel my body get weak, I am completely losing

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myself.
“FUCK LWANDILE ... FUCK!!”, I cum … again. I am so drained I don’t know how I
will make it up the stairs. Lwa picks me up and carries me to bed.
“Babe never ever tease me like that ever again.” Ohhhh this was punishment
for what I did at the movies but we need to do this once in a while, I like it
when Lwa is freaky.
“I can’t promise that”, I say as I lay on his chest.
“Do you still want to catch that movie and have dinner? It’s 6am it’s still early.”
Lwa has got to be kidding I am finished.
“Let’s sleep for atleast an hour then we will go.” Lwa is not even close to being
tired as I am. If I was still willing he definitely take me on for round three.

**********

It’s morning me and bae over slept we couldn’t even go on our date. We woke
up at midnight and we had our pillow talk for a couple of hours then we were
back to sleep again. Lwandile is already awake but this morning is not like our
usual morning, he is just sitting in bed and saying nothing. I know something
must be wrong.
“Good Morning sthandwa sami.” He doesn’t respond this is strange I don’t
recall doing anything wrong.
“Lwandile I am speaking to you.” He looks at me, he looks furious and I am
confused. He hands me my phone, when I look at it he open up a message I
received from Nsika which reads:
“I know that you must’ve made up your mind about Lwandile but I love you Ntandokazi I would do
anything for you to give us a chance again and deep down I know you still love me too. Just give me a
chance to make it up to you.” Fuck! I can’t believe this.
“You went through my phone?”
“I didn’t go through your, Ntandokazi what is that?”
“Baby it’s not what you think.”
“WITH MY FRIEND NTANDOKAZI!!!”, Lwandile is shouting at me.
“Sthandwa sami please just let me explain, Nsika and I have a history we dated
2 years ago and that’s that. Before I knew you guys were friends when he came

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here in Durban he asked for us to met up so we can talk about us but I wasn’t
interested and I’m still not interested.” Lwa looks furious it doesn’t even seem
like he is listening to a word I am saying.
“And when I introduced you guys I was the fool because you both pretended
not to know each other.”
“Sthandwa sami please calm down, I didn’t know how to react.” He goes silent
after I say this he looks hurt yet mad I don’t know what to do inorder to assure
him that nothing is going on between Nsika and I.
“Don’t leave this house till I come back.” He says getting up and dressing
something tells me he is about to do something horrible.
“Where are you going?” He walks out and doesn’t answer me, I don’t like this I
really don’t Lwandile does stupid things when he is mad. I really would’ve told
Lwa the truth but I didnt know how to especially since we had pretended that
we don’t know each other but I just wish he understood how much I love him, I
would never do something that cruel to him. This is just all messed up.

It’s just after 10pm and Lwa still isn’t back I’m worried sick because I’m starting
to think something bad happened to him. I’ve tried calling and texting all day
but nothing. Now I just regret letting him leave what if he got into another car
accident it would all be my fault. He then walks in the bedroom, his t-shirt has
some blood stains on it.
“Baby are you ok? Are you hurt?” I say rushing to him.
“I’m fine.”
“But baby the blood.”
“I SAID I AM FINE NTANDO!!!”, he says shouting at me. He undresses and
heads to the bathroom. I am confused if Lwa isn’t hurt where is the blood
coming from, unless it’s … it can’t be. It’s Nsika, it has to be him. I run to take
my phone to try and call him. It’s just keeps ringing he then it sends me
straight to voicemail, I can feel my heart sink I may not want to be with Nsika
butthat doesn’t mean I want him to beaten up mercilessly. Lwandile walks out
and finds me there still frozen holding my phone.
“He won’t answer the phone”, he says.
“What did you do to him?”

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“The thing I do to everyone who betrays me.”
“WHAT DID YOU DO LWANDILE?” he is really starting to annoy me.
“I gave him the beating of his life so that next time he will learn what loyalty
really means.” How can a normal human being say that with such pride and no
regret what so ever. I feel tears rolling down my eyes, how could Lwandile do
this to somebody he calls a friend.
“Ntando you better wipe those tears or … “
“Or what?” I say interrupting him.
“You won’t cry for another man in my presence or in my house.” I get up and
reach for my bag.
“Ntandokazi stop what you are doing.” I say nothing and I proceed to walk out
of room. He follows me down the stairs.
“Ntandokazi so you would rather leave because of him then stay here and talk
to me.”
“There is nothing to talk about.” Right now it’s best I just leave.
“Ow and just so we have one thing clear I’m not leaving because I’m chosing
Nsika over you but because I clearly don’t mean anything to you. You don’t
respect my feelings and if you really wanted to know what was going on you
would’ve talked to me first before you took matters into your own hands.” He
doesn’t say anything and that is what hurts the most, it feels like a huge knife
has been stabbed right through my heart. I’m starting to think that maybe
things were too good to be true, maybe things were moving too fast between
us truth is all that doesn’t matter now. I called an uber to take me to my
brother’s place and it’s going to be a while before it comes, now I am stuck in
front of Lwa’s house until it gets here. I feel raindrops as I sit on the road, this
has to be the worst day of my life.

I’m at my brother’s house and I am soaking wet, I just asked Olwethu to open
the gate for me. As the gate opens he rushes out holding an umbrella. I just
hug him, I need that right now.
“What happened Sis’?”
“It’s a long story”, he just hugs me. We walk into the house and to be honest I
am not ready to face Esihle and Akhona right now.

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“Are they here?” I ask Olwethu.
“No they are with their boyfriends.” Thank God. Olwethu still doesn’t know
who Esihle and Akhona are dating they figured its best that way but no secret
remains hidden forever. I head straight to the room to undress and cry my
lungs out.

It’s morning and there are missed calls on the phone from Lwa, I feel my heart
break all over again. I want to call him back but I won’t. There is a knock on the
door then my brother walks in.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’ll be ok bro.”
“Breakfast date?” Nchoo shame my brother is trying to cheer me up.
“No thanks, I just want to be alone for a while.”
“Ok I will go buy you breakfast then.” I really do appreciate all of my brother’s
comfort but my heart is too shattered I won’t be good company to him at all. I
can’t stop replaying in my head what happened last night, how can we go from
being so right to being so wrong.

My phone rings, finally it’s Nsika I must say I am relieved but I’m also mad.
“Nsika! Are you ok? What did he do to you?”
“I’m ok just a few bumps and brusies. Did he do anything to you?” I can tell
that he is in a lot of pain though, men though.
“No Lwandile would never hit me. Where are you?”
“In hospital but don’t worry about me, Lwandile will pay for what he did he
walks around thinking he is untouchable.”
“He was just hurting I’m so sorry about all of this but please don’t make things
worse. I know Lwandile sometimes does things without thinking.”
“What do you see in him Ntando? I can be 10 times better the man that he is
to you right now, you deserve better.” Nsika must not start this isn’t why I was
trying to get ahold of him.
“I really am sorry, I will keep calling to check your progress. I have to go.” I
know that Nsika is the whole reason I am in this mess but I really do feel bad
about what has happened I feel like I have ruined their friendship and that

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honestly makes me feel terrible.

It’s in the afternoon and I am all home alone, my brother has gone to another
Sunday chillas but I am happy to be home alone it’s giving me time to think and
relax a bit. I a get a text on my phone, it’s from Lwa.
“I’m outside, can you please come out just so we can talk.” Inside I am a bit happy that he is
here afterall I love him but it doesn’t change that what he did really did break
my heart. I get to the car and there is an awkward silence between us.
“Do you still love him”, he asks.
“No and just because I was upset because I don’t agree with what you did it
doesn’t mean that I do.”
“Ngyaxolisa (I’m sorry) MaMthimkhulu.”
“I love you Lwandile but you need to acknowledge that you are in a
relationship with me meaning that when we have problems you talk to me.
You can’t go around bullying people when they do something you don’t agree
with. You had every right to be mad and I’m not undermining that but I hate
the fact that people keep getting hurt because of me and if you just took the
time to listen to me would’ve realized that there was no need for for
everything that has happened.”
“Ntandokazi I know you don’t like what I did but you need to understand that
when betrayal comes from someone you treated like a brother it really cuts
deep. I’m sorry if it ever seemed like I was undermining your feelings.
Ngyakthanda Ntandokazi and I don’t want to lose you.”
“Ngyakthanda Lwandile but no more violence.” He lets out a hugh sigh.
“For you MaMthimkhulu I will try. Nawe you need to promise no more secrets
and actually mean it this time.” tears fill my eyes but I am not going to cry. He
kisses my forehead.
“Can we go grab something to eat?”
“Ok then let me go change.” I love Lwandile I can’t even help it, yesterday I felt
my heart drop when I left his house I couldn’t believe that was actually it. Lwa
drives me insane he makes me feel like he is my first love, I get butterflies
when I am with him, he tolerates all of my stupid demands and he just knows
how to love me right. I don’t want to love anyone else like this but him

191
because I have never felt anything like this. I know that what he is to me
nobody has ever been to me, I AM INLOVE WITH LWANDILE ZUNGU.

I just called my brother to tell him I’ll be going out with Lwandile, he wasn’t
shocked at all according to him bengisahlanyisa (I was being crazy). We are at
the mall, next stop is the casino. We are in the car then Lwa’s phone rings and
his face instantly changes, I can tell he just received bad news.
“Sthandwa sami whats wrong”, I ask as soon as he disconnects the call.
“That was Nozuko, her mother has passed away.” Well this heart breaking, we
knew it was coming but just not this soon.
“I’m so sorry baby.”
“I’m shocked, this makes me realize how important timing is imagine if I never
made peace with her I would be feeling like she left me with another burden. If
it weren’t for you I would’ve never realized how important it was for me to
make peace with my past.” I’m glad Lwa is saying all of this
so when are you heading to Bergville?”
“Wedesday, I have to provide for the funeral.”
“Ok baby. It’s fine we don’t need to go out anymore let’s just go home.” He
looks at me with a smile, I have no idea why.
“I like how you just said home and not your house.” Lol Lwandile is silly.
“So what do you need?”
“Food, snacks and you.” He kisses me.
“Anything for my Queen.” I always feel warm and fuzzy when he calls me his
Queen, it makes me feel special.

Me and Lwa are back at home and we are cuddling and fondling, if there is one
thing I can tell you about Lwa is that he feeds me I am forever stuffing my face
when I am with him but I have no complains.
“Babe”, he calls out.
“Yes sthandwa sami.”
“Can I please leave with you Wednesday, there are a lot of things that need to
be done and Nozuko will have a lot on her shoulders she needs help.”
“I don’t mind babe but I can’t stay there for the whole week.” He looks excited

192
and I don’t mind as long as if he cheered up, then I am good.
“Thank you babe”, he says kissing my forehead.
“But baby I need to sleep at my brothers place so that I can get my stuff and
talk to my sisters.” He starts sulking, that’s LwAndile for you.
“So I have to sleep alone?” Lol Lwandile acts like he already has a wife kanti we
aren’t there yet.
“You are still legally single so yes.” I’m just saying that to get on his nerves. He
leans to kiss me, not just kiss me but it’s thee kiss I can feel myself get weak.
He pulls back and looks at me deep in the eyes.
“What’s wrong?”, I ask starring back at him.
“Nothing you are just so beautiful.” Ok ok I am blushing I just didn’t expect him
to say that.
“Thank you”, I say with a smile on my face. He goes in to kiss me again, gosh I
really am going to miss all of this.
“Do you really have to go?”
“Baby it’s just for two nights, you will survive.”
“Ok let’s get going then before it gets too late.” I also don’t want to leave but I
don’t have to, eyy this whole dating thing is such a bore sometimes.

I am back at my brother’s place and my sisters are back, I can tell by the noise I
am hearing as I walk into the door.
“I didn’t think you were going to come back tonight”, Olwethu says literally
appearing from no where.
“You almost gave me a heart attack. Well here I am, come I want to talk to you
and the girls.” He follows me.
“The wife from Begville has returned”, Esihle says. That’s the welcome I get, I
really missed these idiots. I sit down, they can tell that I’m a bit tense.
“Guys Lwandile’s mother passed away today and he needs me there to help his
sister so I will leave with him Wednesday”, I explain.
“Haw nxese dade, Lwandile must be strong.” Says the same brother that
doesn’t like him, I am glad he is warming up to the idea of him.
“Thanks bro, so now I wanted to figure out from you two ladies when you are
heading back home because after Bergville I am not coming back to Durban I

193
am heading straight to Ladysmith”
“Well we planned Wednesday but now that this has happened we are not sure
because Shaka and Zethu were the one’s who offered to take us back home.
But it’s fine you can leave and from there onwards we will communicate
through the phone”, Esihle. You see I come from a strict black family it’s only
now because we old that our parents have loosened the grip on us, so the
thing about coming from a strict family is that you can’t just disappear you
need solid lies and Durban is the only time we have a bit of freedom because
my Uncle isn’t persistant like that. So we came together meaning we need to
go back home together.
“Alright then”. The girls are edgy I know it’s because they want details about
everything that has happened. I get up to go to the bedroom and they follow
me, ukuthi bayaphi I have no idea. The moment we enter the room they close
the door.
“So?”, Akhona.
“So what?”
“How did Lwa take everything?” Esihle.
“Well it’s a bit hard for him to process, I mean he just met his mum a few days
ago and now this but as sad as it is I am just grateful he went there and got to
see her for the last time.”
“True that. And this?” Esihle says holding up my hand that has the beaded
band.
“It’s something Lwa gave me.”
“This is beautiful, I didn’t know they are still Zulu guys who gave this to their
girls”, Akhona.
“Neither did I”, I also didn’t expect this from Lwa. He doesn’t seem Zulu like
that.
“He wanted to secure you so that those guys from Bergiville don’t even look at
you”, Esihle. I laugh, she probably is right Lwa wants to secure me from all
angles because I know most people from Bergville are still Zulu like that. Zulu
men don’t mess around, they see something they like they make it theirs.

It’s sometime during midnight and I am woken up from sleep by a phone call,

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it’s Lwa.
“Baby are you ok?”
“I’m fine babe, are you asleep?”
“Not anymore what’s wrong?”
“Nothing babe but I am outside.” Haibo is Lwandile mad what is he doing here
at this time.
“You are joking right?”
“No, I miss you babe.”
“I’m coming.” I have no idea who in their right mind drives all the way from
Umhlanga to Ballito at midnight but we are inlove so I gues that excuses us. I
get outside and my King is waiting for me outside the car, I run to hug him and
I wrap my legs around his waist then we share a kiss.
“What are you doing here Mr Zungu?”
“I came to see my future wife”, I can’t help but blush when he says that.
“Baby you know that you shouldn’t be driving.”
“That’s what the doctor says, I feel ok.” I don’t believe that one bit but his
docters appointment tuesday will be the determining factor.
“Sizobona Lwandile but if things are not going well me and you will have an
argument I tell you.”
“Ok my wife but until then I might as well enjoy our peace so let’s go.”
Something melts in me when I hear Lwandile call me his wife, I can’t explain it.
“Where are we going to?”
“Let’s just take a drive.”
“But I am wearing pj’s”
“Babe we are just taking a drive.” I get inside the car and I see a whole bunch
of takeaway bags at the back. We drive off and we finally get to the beach.
“Baby what are we doing here?”
“We are here for our midnight picnic.” Lol hayi ke I am defeated this is
unheard of. He takes the bags of food and a plastic that is full of beverages, I’m
still confused theres only two of us. He opens the boot and we sit at the back.
“With so much food?”
“Phela babe it’s a picnic.” Lol I love food but the food he bought is too much,
it’s burgers from MacDonald, a bucket of wings from kfc, a pizza and a box of

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ribs. I lean to kiss him this is unique and unheard of but I like it.
“What was that for?”
“For always being a good man to me.” He smiles and kisses me again. We then
start eating our faces off I know some how we won’t be able to finish
everything but me and my bae it so you best to believe that we will down most
of it.

***********

I wake up and we are in bed in some hotel. The only thing I remember is me
faling asleep in the car, we left the beach at about 4am. Lwa must’ve carried
me when I fell asleep, its 10am and I have a couple of missed calls in my phone
from my brother so I know I am in trouble. I know that they might have a clue
that I am with Lwa but it was wrong of me to disappear in the middle of the
night until now and not tell them.
“Baby wake up”, I say shaking Lwa’s arm. Unlike usual he doesn’t put up a fight
he just wakes up.
“Good Morning MaMthimkhulu”, he says kissing my forehead.
“Good Morning Manzini, where are we?”
“Hotel babe, this is one I told you I own. I was tired too trired to drive back to
Umhlanga and you were deep in your sleep so this was the nearest place.”
“Ok baby, thank you for last night but I need to go.”
“Hayi a guy just needs to marry you I hate it when you have to leave.” I
actually hate it too, it seems like time goes too fast when I am with him. We
wake up then leave and head to Ballito. I texted my brother apologizing and
explaining what happened hopefully he understands.

Lwa just dropped me off, my brother and the girls are watching tv I wonder
why he didn’t go to work.
“Good Morning Guys”, I say as I sit down.
“This guy is driving you insane I can see, I don’t mind that you are dating
Ntando but at least let us know when you leave. This is not how we do things, I
know you are old enough to know that you were wrong”, Olwethu starts

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lecturing me.
“I know and I am sorry, won’t happen again. So Why didn’t you go to work?”
Yup I am trying to change the subject.
“I wanted to spend the day with my little sisters.” Nchoo that’s just the
sweetest. I get up from the couch and sit on top of him, I know I am too old for
that shit but I still do it.
“Ntando uyasinda!!” he says trying to push me off.
“I really am sorry bro and I love you too.”
“Whatever.” Lol he acts as if he doesn’t care but he actually does.

**********

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and bae Lwa and I are on our way to Bergville. His
docters appointment went well and he is fully healed and I am happy it actually
took a bit shorter then the docter had anticipated but I am just happy that my
Lwa is ok. Nsika also sent me a text telling me that he has been discharged, not
that he matters but I feel responsible for what happened. I’ve stressed to him
to stay away from me and cut all communication with me but he said he would
never do that so I really don’t know how that’s going to work out for him
because I went back to blocking him. Ow well on other news Lwa bought a
Ford Ranger double cab 4x4 wildtrak because the roads I Bergville will not be
pleasent to his small cars. As we are on the road I can’t help but feel a bit
nervous I don’t know how Nozuko’s father will react when he see’s Lwa, he
couldn’t even be there to meet us when we came to see Lwa’s mum and from
what we hear he has drinking problems and he tends to be very verbal and
physical so that alone scares me because Lwa is a no nonsense type of guy.
“Whats on your mind?”, Lwa asks as he sees me staring out of the window.
“I just can’t help but wonder how Nozuko’s father will react with you there,
just promise me not to cause a scene no matter what he says.”
“I will try Sthandwa sami.” That really doesn’t sound promising but I will try
holding him down.

We finally get to Bergville, it’s in the afternoon now so we will pop in Nozuko’s

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home for a while just to greet and then we will go to the BnB Lwa booked for
us. Nozuko is very excited that her brother is coming, at least she has
something to look forward to under these circumstances. We are now
approaching the house and there seems to be alot of people in the yard, I am
not shocked people from rural areas have more spirit of Ubuntu. People are
staring at this car they are not used to. Nozuko runs to welcome us when she
see’s us get out of the car.
“I thought it was you guys, I know it’s only been a few days but I missed you
guys.” Lwa and her exchange a long hug I am happy that the relationship
between Nozuko and Lwa is growing. We walk in and greet everyone, Nozuko
then introduces us to the few family members here apparently they aren’t
close with majority of her fathers relative because they were a lot of family
arguments that led to the family being estranged and with her mum she
doesn’t know many relatives because her mum refused to talk about themso
besides from her granparents who have passed away and her Uncles she
knows no one. We even got the pleasure of meeting Mr and Mrs Shabalala
who are the kind neighbours who looked after the family, Lwa kept thanking
them for especially making sure that Nozuko was taken care of. Nozuko and I
are now in the kitchen preparing dinner, it’s clear me and her will have to go
grocery shopping tomorrow. Lwa is outside with his uncles and the other men
in the community. Next thing we hear someone shouting and cursing from
outside. Nozuko let’s out a huge sigh.
“It’s dad. I really don’t get him for once nje in this family we can’t just get
peace.” I feel bad for her, right now it seems like everything is on her shoulders
because her father doesn’t work, her uncles don’t have full time jobs and they
also have families to hustle for and her aunts and cousins from her father’s
side
are practically useless. She rushes out to prevent any commotion that might
start. Next thing I hear people shouting and Nozuko shouting my name, I rush
outside and find Nozuko standing in between her father and Lwa this can not
be good.
“Lwandile!!!”, I shout out. He looks at me then he walks away, gets in his car
and leaves. I just hope that where ever he goes he will come back once he has

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calmed down. Things are tense, Nozuko’s father goes to the house and Nozuko
is crying. I try to cmfort her, I will have to ask her what happened when she has
calmed down. I am worried about my bae though I hate it when he is upset I
decide to send him a text.
“Sthandwa sami calm down, please come back Nozuko needs you and I am worried about you. I love
you still”. Dololo response but he has read the text, I just hope I can get through
to him.

It’s been 3 hours since Lwa left and the only thing I have received from him is a
text saying I shouldn’t worry, he is stupid like that sometimes how could I not
worry. Nozuko has explained to me that what angered Lwa is that her father
slapped her when she tried talking to him then when her uncles intervened he
also insulted them so he lost his temper and tried warning him but the
situation blew out of proportion because her father wanted to beat up Lwa. I
kind of expected something like this to happen but I just hate how neither of
them are respecting the fact that the family is in mourning, Lwa was sober I
expect him to know better. Nozuko and I are sitting in the kitchen with 2 of her
cousins and Mam Shabalala just talking. Then he walks in.
“Bo Ma I am really sorry about awhat happened earlier, I promise it won’t
happen again.”
“They is no problem you were only trying to help, ubhuti tends to cause
problems when he is drunk”, one of the aunts says.
“Ntando can I please talk to you”, he says. I follow him out of the house. I
really am disappointed in him and he can tell.
“Baby I’m sorry I will try to control my temper.”
“Lwandile kushoniwe layikhaya please for the sake of your mother try to
maintain peace in this house.” He pulls me to him and we hug then he quickly
let’s go, I know it’s because we shouldn’t be doing this in public (Zulu customs
can be strict like that sometimes.
“Baby I’m hungry.”
“Ok I will come serve you by your uncles.” I prepare his meal and I go serve
him. When I walk into the kitchen Nozuko’s cousins are looking at me funny.
“Why do you kneel when you serve people food?” Well it’s something I am

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used to it, my father instilled it in us to do that when we serve our elders its
respect. I know to most people it seems ridiculous but I for one don’t mind it.
“Well it’s not everyone just my elders and Lwa.”
“Woo shame girl you are strong, my boyfriend would have to die and resserect
himself before I can ever do that for him.” Lol this girl.
“Hayi nina don’t corrupt her, it’s nice to see that they are still young girls with
some respect. Your parents raised you well.”, Mam’ Shabalala says.

**********

It’s Saturday afternoon and the funeral is over, it really was a beautiful
ceremony Lwa made sure that everything was on point. The Khumalo’s are also
here to support and comfort Lwa, this family is a very close family they have
been with Lwa through thunder storm, earth quake and tsunami its very
touching. My sisters are also here they came with Shaka and Zethu, we are
going back to Ladysmith today they are not happy about it but they is no
alternative. What hurts the most is that since me and Lwa got here we haven’t
spent any time together, he has been up and down and at night we are both
very exhausted that we can’t even talk because we want to do is sleep. I tell
you the few days I have been here have taught me that “ukukotiza” is no easy
at all.
“Lwandile can I please talk to you”, I say excusing him from the plenty men he
is sitting with. He gets up and follows me.
“Sthandwa sami we have to go.” He lets out a huge sigh.
“I know babe I have just been trying to ignore this. It’s fine you can go say your
goodbyes then tell me when you are done.” To honest only reality is kicking in
now that Lwa and I are about to be separated and I feel like a dager has been
stabbed right through my heart.

We are now on our way to Ladysmith, all 3 cars are following each other. It was
so sad to say goobye to his family I am very fond of them. Yah neh reality
sucks I tell you. I have been trying to make small talk with Lwa but his mind is
clearly somewhere else. Finally we get to Ladysmith, the girls are spending the
night at my home so we all head there. My mum is not at home,
since my uncle spent a week here they have been up and down and today they
are at a wedding in Newcastle. Two house down from my house is an open
field so we decide to park there to say our final goodbyes. I actually feel like
crying I can’t believe I am actually home now … no wait actually I am crying.
“Sthandwa sami don’t cry I will see you in the middle of the week”, he says
wiping the tears off my face.
“I know it’s just that I am so used to having you beside me that it hurt me to
let you leave.” I can literally feel my heart break into a thousand pieces. He
kisses me and then looks at me, he moves the seat to the back a bit and I get
on top of him and I lay on top of him then he holds me tight. For a moment
there it feels like time has stopped and all that exists is me and him. I can hear
his heart beating fast and so is mine and for that moment it feels like we are
one. One thing is for sure I love this man with my whole heart and believe me
when I say nothing will make me stop loving him.

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 CHAPTER 10

I only have a week before school opens and to be honest my head is all over
the place, on the 21st of Febuary its my graduation day and I will be receiving
my degree in BCom Accounting. This is a big deal for me and ow well my family
so I really am excited, last weekend we went to Durban for measurements for
my dress. Wednesday I am leaving meaning I only have today and tomorrow to
pack and braid my hair. For the past week since I have been here my mum has
been looking at me funny and I don’t know why, Im feeling a bit guilty though
since I know I have been up and down with Lwa the whole of Dec when I told
her that I would be with my uncle.

I am back home with my mum packing my things. Unlike most kids I am close
with my mum I guess those are the perks of being the last born so I really am
going to miss her. Just as I am with her my phone rings and it’s Lwa I am
hesitant to answer but with ther piercing eyes my mum is giving me it’s hard
not to, so I excuse myself and walk out of the room. In any black family that is
code for useyajola but I trust that I should be old enough to. It would be more
awkward if I ignore it.
“Hello”
“Babe are you ok?”
“Yes I just miss you.” I really do as well I can’t wait to get to see him this
weekend.
“I know I miss you too. Why did you take so long to answer?”
“I had to excuse myself, I was with ma.”
“Let me talk to her, its time she knows she has a Mkhwenyana”, he says while
laughing. I am close to my mum but my I feel like who I date should be private,
that’s something I can’t share with her.
“She will soon baby. Are we still on for this weekend?” After hearing that I hear
commotion in the back ground it sounds like men shouting.
“Of Course sthandwa sami. Listen I have to go.”
“Baby whats wrong?” Dololo response, he just drops the call. I don’t know why
but I have this bad feeling that I can’t shake but they is nothing to go about at
the moment so they is no need to overthink this. I get back to my room and I

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find my mum smiling, I have no idea why she is acting weird.
“Is there anything you want to tell me Ntando?” she asks. I can only wait to see
where this is going.
“No ma, why?” She shakes her head.
“It’s nothing then.” I know my mum knows something, she wouldn’t act like
this if it was nothing and it’s more then me answering the phone call in private.
Anyway I won’t pay her mind she will have to tell me sooner or later.

**********

It’s Wednesday morning and I am panicking I can’t find the the beaded wrist
band Lwa gave me anywhere. I think I put it in my hand bag in a small box
when I came back home simply because I was hiding it from my mum but I
can’t find it. I have looked for it everywhere but nothing. I don’t know how I’m
going to explain this to Lwa, he doesn’t even know I took it off. My mum walks
in and finds me turning the room upside down.
“Ntando we need to go what are you looking for?”
“Ma have you seen ubuhlalo bami (my bead) lying around somewhere”
“It’s called ibheqe?” Did she just say what I heard her say? This could only
mean one thing, she has it.
“Ma where is it?” she takes it out of her pockets and hands it to me. I don’t
even want to ask but I know she knows that obviously a guy I am dating gave it
to me. I trust my mum I know that she would never go through my things
without my consent, she respects my privacy like that. I take the box and
throw it in the bag, I don’t even want to look at her in the eye.
“You father once gave me one of those when we started dating.”
“You miss him don’t you?”
“Everday, he was the love of my life. Anyways finish up so we can go.” I know
my mum still gets emotional when she talks about my dad and so do I so we
try not to always talk about him but he is always in our hearts. I’m just glad he
didn’t ask me anything about the beads because I was not going to answer.

**********

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Finally!! It’s the big day it’s the big day, My GRADUATION DAY. My family is
here they got here yesterday and booked a place to sleep, my friends are on
their way they left Durban very early and of course the love of my life is also
here, he and Shaka have already arrived they are having breakfast at the mall. I
swear I have never been as excited and proud of myself as I am now. My dress
is here and it looks stunning. My phone rings and it’s bae Lwa.
“Baby.”
“Sthandwa sami are you busy?”
“A bit, it’s time for me to get ready.”
“Please just come outside, this will only take 2 minz.”
“Ok I’m coming.” I ask Esihle to come wit me so she and Shaka can get the
chance to see each other, the last time I spoke to her she told me that they
were fighting and thing aren’t steady I didn’t want to get involved too much
because it’s none of my business I trust they are old enough to handle their
shit. We get there and Esihle and Shaka decide to take a walk around the BnB,
I’m guessing it’s so that they can speak properly. Lwa and I exchange a long
passionate kiss, I missed him phela we haven’t seen each other for almost 2
weeks now.
“Baby whatsup I don’t have a lot of time.”
“I wanted to give you this.” He reaches the back seat and hands me a shoe box
written Christian Louboutini. For a moment there I can feel my brain short
circuit. I open the box and I am speechless and breathless, it’s a pair of red
bottom pump heels that have a silver strass I have loved these shoes for as
long as I’ve known the brand Christian Louboutini. I look at him and at the shoe
then back at him, he is happy I can tell. Then I do what I do best, tears start
rolling down my cheeks I am so excited right now.
“I knew you would love them but don’t cry.” I jump on top of him and I start
kissing him, like really really kissing him.
“Babe before you cause damage you need to go get ready they will be plenty
of time for that later on”, he says while kissing me. I know he can feel what am
feeling too but he is right, if we continue with this they is no going back.
“Ok baby, thank you so much for the shoes”, I say kissing him once more.
“Anything for my Queen, I am proud of you MaMthimkhulu.” Now that right

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there, hearing those words from the people I love is the reason why I devoted
myself to my studies.

The Graduation ceremony is over and the graduates are all over campus taking
pictures so am I with my family. Lwa has been standing from a far laughing at
all the silly pictures my friends are making me take, poor photographer has no
choice but to follow us around to everywhere we go.
“Come let me take a picture with you”, I say waving at Lwa. He is shocked, my
mum can see that Lwa is hesitant I know it’s because he is nervous. He come’s
and he just stand’s there like a statue, it’s awkward so everyone laughs at me.
“You can hold me”, I whisper to him. Then he puts his hand on my waiste, it’s
still awkward but it will have to do. I then continue to take pictures with him
and Shaka then everyone else.

It’s in the afternoon and my family has left, my friends and bae Lwa are leaving
tomorrow. I am sad but I am sort of happy that my family is gone because now
I can spend time with Lwa, I need to spend time with him.
“So what are we doing tonight”, Noluntu asks.
“Well some of us have bae’s so I need to spend time with my man”, I answer,
They all look at me funny.
“Come on man Lwa will have to understand”, Amahle. I know I also have to
spend time with them, ukuthi kanjani I have no idea. A text from Lwa.
“How many are you girls? I want to make dinner reservations.” Talk about my other half now
I can hit two birds with one stone.
“Theres 5 of us babe. You are a life saver.”
“Be ready by 6pm, dinner is at 7pm.” Yeyi, that could only mean one thing it’s time to
get ready I know these girls with their time management issues.
“The smile on your face says it all, that’s Lwa right?”, Akhona.
“Yeah, freshen up ladies and get your outfits ready Lwa wants to take us out
for dinner.” Esihle gets up and heads straight to the bathroom.
“Mntase you don’t have to tell me twice”, Esihle. We all laugh at her, the crazy
people I keep in my life.

It’s 2am and we are at Klerksdorp at some lounge, everyone is inside but Lwa

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just asked me to go with him to the car.
“Baby whats up?”, I ask him as we approach the car. He says nothing and he
opens the back seat door for me to get in, I do just that. The moment he gets
in and closes the door he just kisses me. Its no ordinary kiss, you can tell he
super turned on.
“Baby slow down.” He is not listening to a word I am saying right now.
“Can we please leave babe, today I had to be tourtued by you the whole day
but I can’t take it anymore.” Diaries of a horny man, but I also miss his touch.
“The crew?”
“Shaka will take care of them don’t worry.”
“But the keys…” He kisses me before I can even finish.
“Babe I have everything covered.” Ow well no point in fighting it I know Lwa
wouldn’t abandon them like that.

The trip to klerksdorp is 30 minutes but we only took 10 minutes, Lwa abuses
the GLE now I understand why he got into an accident with a first one. We are
now entering the premisis of the hotel, I swear Lwa has been looking at me like
a snack the whole time on the road whilst giving me a few of those dirty smiles
I know that I am in for it tonight. Lwa opens my door and puts me on his
shoulders, I start laughing.
“Baby put me down” He isn’t listening to a word, he is determined with what
he wants to do. We get into the room and he throws me on top of the bed.
“Take it off!!” My beautiful outfit, I really could sleep in it that’s how much I
love it. Its 2 piece of a bodycon skirt and a crop top it’s the right type of tight. I
do as I am told and he also takes of his clothes. The man gets on top of me and
starts kissing every inch of me and I emphasize EVERY INCH then he starts
grinding on me. He is so rough I feel like my whole uterus will fall as he keeps
going in and out, my nails are digging into his back right now. I don’t know
what I did but I am definitely paying for it right now. He keeps pushing in
deeper and deeper and that on it’s on is killing me. I am enjoying this though to
be honest, I needed to feel like this after 2 weeks of not getting any. Finally he
starts shaking then he cums. That has to be the roughest sex we have ever had.
He pulls me close to his chest and kisses my forehead, at this point we are so

206
drained but his D is still pretty much up and he will have to forgive me but no
round two for tonight.
“Are you ok?” He asks.
“Yeah I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry for being rough with you but I’ve been surpressing my cravings for
too long. I needed this.” Even though he almost tore my cookie in half but my
body also needed this.
“Ngyakthanda Manzini.” He lifts up my head and smiles at me.
“Ngyakthanda name Makhulukhulu.” And just like that the perfect day ends.

**********

It’s Thursday morning and I am woken up by a knock on the door and as usual
bae Lwa is fast asleep. I open the door and it’s room service.
“I’m sorry I think you have the wrong room.”
“Is this not Mr Zungu’s room?”
“It is”. He then comes in and leaves the tray carrying breakfast. We’ve been
asleep so I don’t know who called room service but I might as well wake my
bae up it’s time to eat.
“Sthandwa sami wake up.” And as usual he fusses over me waking him up, I
wonder how he copes when I am not around.
“Babe take my card and go out with your sisters and friends I am tired. I
promise we will come to you guys at the mall.” Nice try.
“But baby we don’t have any clothes here or toiletries we need to go to my
place first.” He punches the pillow. He gets up and we have our breakfast.
Speaking about my friends and sister I have no idea where they are.
“Baphi oEsihle baby?”
“Here, we had already booked rooms for you guy because I wanted you to
spend time with me here. I’m going to leave Sunday.” Haw this niggar why
didn’t he just say so yesterday so we could bring our things properly here but
anyways it’s done.
“Alright, ngyabonga sthandwa sami for everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me babe, it’s my duty as your man to take care of
you.” Is this guy amazing or is he amazing?

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The girls and I just got to my place with Lwa, we left Shaka and Esihle at the
hotel they wanted their alone time so we will have to carry her things for her.
“So babe please explain to me how were five of you going to fit in this single
bed?”, Lwa asks scanning my bed.
“I don’t know but I was going to make a plan as the host.”
“And where will I sleep next time I come visit?” Well I actually never thought
about that because one thing is sure we can’t sleep in a hotel everytime he
comes, it’s expensive and a waste of money.
“Uhrm well I will just layby a bigger bed than.”
“Mina sleep at a student flat Ntando.” Lwa must not dare start me kanti what
does he want from me. He can tell that I am getting annoyed.
“Ungacasuki MaMthimkhulu but you know I’m too old for that.” Ok well he
does have a point but other than that I can only see the hotel as an option.
“We will figure it out then baby.” He doesn’t seem convinced and I don’t have
the energy to try and make him think otherwise.

The day is over and believe me when I say it’s been a great one, today Lwa was
“our man” we took him around the mall all day from going to the cinema, to
lunch and to the casino. I know that he was annoyed but he had no choice he
can’t give that stubborn attitude to my friends. Lwa and I are back at the hotel
and we left the girls in town they said they are going out for some drinks. I am
a bit annoyed Lwa has been on ther phone every 5 minutes since the morning,
I know that it might be business but it’s still annoying. Even now he isn’t paying
attention to me because he is on the phone. I start unbuttoning his shirt and
kissing his chest, he looks at me and smiles.
“Please hold. Baby ziphathe kahle I am almost done.” Mcm This call must be
really important. I leave him and get out of the room and I go to the pool area.
Moments later I see him approaching.
“Are you upset?” he asks sitting next to me.
“No but today you don’t seem to have time for me.”
“Babe that’s not true and you know it.”
“Sure does feel like it.”
“Ok to prove you wrong please come with me.” Ok I wonder where we are

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going to. We drive to the area where I live but I won’t ask anything yet. We
part next to this flat, it’s 5 minz away from school and it very very proper most
people that live here are students (from wealthy families) and people that
work. “We are here!” he says with a smile as big as that of a kid who has just
been given a lollipop.
“What are we doing here?”
“Come with me I will show you”, this is a bit weird this my 4th year here in
Potch and I have never been in this place but here he is leading the way. We
walk into a two bedroom beautiful flat, the décor in this place is remarkable.
“You can go look around”, well he doesn’t have to tell me that twice. The first
room I walk into seems to be the main bedroom, it’s big and it has an en suite
bathroom with his and her basins its very elegant, the other bedroom is a
study ... a very fancy study might I add and there is also another bathroom. As I
begin to notice everything in this house seems new it’s just too on point and it
doesn’t have that homey feel.
“Sthandwa sami whose place is this?”, I ask as I approach Lwandile who is
sitting on the couch watching tv.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes it’s very beautiful but you haven’t answered my question.” He looks at me
and smiles.
“It’s your’s babe, this place is yours”, he says handing me the key. I am
shocked, I am astonished and I am cofused.
“What do you mean it’s mine?”
“This is what I have been busy with the whole day, I had to find a place for you
then hire an interior designer to decorate this place and approve of everything
in it.” Wow this man is absolutely incredible, but I can’t accept this it’s too
much. Already a sit is Lwa has exceeded my expectations.
“Baby I can’t accept this it’s too much and I know you can afford it but they is
no need to spend your money like this on me. Plus I only have one more year
left here in Potch.”
“Babe I can’t keep sleeping at a hotel when I am here, I miss you food. Just
please accept this gift what you do with it at the end of the year is your
choice.” I can’t believe it, Mina??? Ntando lo??!! I have my own apartment. I

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am happy, I swear this place is so me, it means Lwa really does understand me.
But now what about the place I am living at now?? Even though it’s not as
fancy as this place but it’s still my personal space I am comfortable there and
it’s not like I can tell my mum that I am moving to my mans place.
“Ok baby how about I stay at my place during the week and then on weekends
I spend my time here.”
“Ok babe it’s fine but when I come this side I want to find my woman here,
with my cooked and my cookie waiting for me.” Lol this guy is silly, I nod then I
lean to kiss him then I stop and look at him.
“Thank you so much for everything sthandwa sami.”
“Anything for my Queen but Ntandokazi I don’t want any guys here, I don’t
care if they are your friends I don’t want them anywhere.” Lol and apparently
this is my place, I have no choice but to comply.
“Ok I promise.”, I lean to kiss him again. We start breathing heavily, we both
know where this is going. He puts me on his lap to undress me and I do the
same, I am the captin of this ship today. I’m hardly on top so I guess to day is
my lucky day. As I am grinding on him it feels me sensational and passionate
unlike what I’ve ever felt before you’d swear it’s our souls that are making love
right now. I look at him in the eye.
“I love you”, I say.
“I know I love you too.” I have noticed that everytime me an Lwa have sex it’s
more passionate then it was before, I guess this is proof that our connection
and love grows stronger each day. We both cum. He then carries me to bed so
we can fondle and cuddle. Right now I can’t help but think about when he
leaves, it is really hard not always having him around but it’s amazing how
even though we are so far away from each other we grow stronger as couple
each day. We talk all the time and sometimes I even call him to complain about
petty stuff but he listens to me and I mean really listen and not that thing men
usually do to pretend they are listening when thay aren’t. Lwa went from being
a stranger to being the love of my life.

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 Chapter 11

Yippyyy!!! It’s recess and I am going back home, school can be too over
whelming at times so I am looking forward to this. Tomorrow is my 21st
birthday and I will be hosting a 21st birthday/graduation party, I am very
excited. Right now I am on my way home and bae Lwa is driving me there, I do
not know why he is straining himself like this because I didn’t mind taking a
taxi but he didn’t want to since I haven’t been feeling well for the past few
days. We park at the garage because I need to pee … again it must be for the
6th time since we left Potch, I don’t know why my bladder has been acting up
for the past few days.
“Babe are you sure you are ok?” Lwa asks as I get into the car.
“Yes baby I’m…”, I disturbed by the sudden urge to vomit so I quickly open the
door. Lwa gets out of the car and comes to me with a bottle of water, he looks
very worried.
“That’s it! When we get to Harrismith I am taking you to the docter.”
“There is no need baby. Whats that horrible smell?”
“It’s Pizza, you like pizza.”
“Well clearly not anymore, I can’t travel in a car that smells like this.”
“Ok then I will throw it away”, he says looking at me confused. To be honest I
am also confused, I love pizza its been my favourite since was a kid no matter
how much I eat it I never get enough. But I guess this is my body telling me
enough is enough.
“No baby do not throw it away just put it in the boot.” He does just that then
we leave but he still looks worried.

Finally I get home and it is buzzing my aunts, uncles, brothers, sister and
friends are here. This is the perfect atmosphere to come back home to it’s
filled with love, laughter and warmth. Me and the girls are in the bedroom and
as usual having our girl talk.
“Ntando you look different”, Esihle says after fully examining me. The other
girls agreeing with her
“Whats different about me?”
“You’ve gained a bit and you are glowing.” Ok yes I do admit I have gained a bit

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of weight in the last month, but I’m happy so I have every right to be like this.
“Ingiphethe kahle indoda yami (my man is treating me well)”, I say after
showing my tounge. They all laugh at me. From this girl talk I pick up that
Esihle and Shaka are no longer together but are still close just not as a couple
and to be honest with you I am a bit touched by this, they complemented each
other so well. As for Akhona and Zethu they are still pretty much at it and I am
happy for them

**********

Thee day has arrived and I am so excited. I went to Mount Lounge earlier to
check out the décor and it is stunning my mum did a superb job organizing this
whole thing, we are expecting 60 guests of which most of them are my family.
This is my day and I really do feel like a Queen. It’s 4pm and we are getting
ready for the event which starts at 6pm, I swear my mum really went all out for
me I have some one doing my hair and nails and a make up artist I just know
that today I will be breath taking. My dress is beautiful, it’s a sleeveless body
hugging dress with sparkle embroidery on the v-line and near the bottom and
it is open back, its light brown in color and appropriately short (if theres such).
I’m so happy that all my friends are here including the ones from Potch it
means so much to me. My mum walks in.
“Ntando you need to finish up now.”
“I know mum just give me a few.”
“Ok, so will your friends from Durban be here.” Lol my mum though, I know
she is taking about oLwa. I’m trying to hold back my laughter so I just smile.
“Yes ma bayeza.” She looks me with that “iheee Im watching you look” and
believe me she can give as many as those looks as she wants but I am not
saying a word about my relationship with Lwa.

The party started 2 hours ago and I am feelinga bit uneasy, Lwa hasn’t arrived
when I texted him earlier he said they were on their way. Starters have already
been served and now it’s time for the last speech of the night before the main
meal then we get wasted and dance our asses off and it’s my uncle’s speech.
Just as my uncle starts speaking, Lwa, Shaka and Zweli come in and sit at the

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back, I mad a bit frustrated but I am glad they made it.
“It’s every parent’s wish to see their children thriving in life but it is
unfortunate that some parents do not live long enough to see their wishes
coming true. But luckily some of us are granted with the atmost priviledge of
seeing this happen. Our family has never been wealthy but we have always
tried our best to give our children all the opportunities we didn’t get growing
up and I am proud as a father to see that our children also did all they can to
make us proud. Today we are here on behalf of Ntandokazi whom we are here
to thank for being the respecting and loving daughter, sister and friend to all of
us here respectively and congratulate her on her degree. As we all know she is
studying towards her honours this year and we would like to wish the best of
luck going forward, I know your father would’ve been so proud of you.” Tears
start rolling down my eyes I never expected such heart warming words from
my uncle.
“Culturally Ntando should’ve had what we call umemulo but we have obviously
mordenized things and we decide to take the western route but since this
ceremony is done to acknowledge you as a woman. We would like to know if
you have seen someone that you like. Thatha nantu Ukhamba and hand it to
that person.” Wtf?? Did I hear this right? It can’t be. My tears have suddenly
disappeared and I am nervous, I don’t know what to do. I hear people cheering
and my friends are laughing at me. I take uKhamba that I was given, it’s filled
with traditional beer and I start walking I around. I know exactly where Lwa is
sitting but I’m still contemplating on whether to go to him or not. Finally I
approach his table, I can see Shaka and Zweli laughing lapho my bae is nervous
as hell. According to tradition I am supposed to hand this to him and he should
drink from it, so I finally get to him and I get on my knees and hand him
uKhamba then I get up and rush back to my seat. I can hear people hallulating
but I am too embarrassed to lift my head, I’m sure my mum is in her seat
thinking “I saw it coming” but aggh anyways its done now. Lwa sends me a
text.
“Lift up your head.” I do just that and our eyes meet and he winks at me, I let out a
giggle.
“Leave me alone.”
“You look beautiful my queen and this makes it official. You are mine aint no turning back sekfanele

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ngilethe inkomo (I need to bring lobola).” Lol Lwa is silly, but I like him like that.

The night proceeds and I still haven’t gone to Lwa I am scared now that
people know that he is the bae, the elders are about to leave anyways since
this place has been transformed to some chillas with white couches all over,
sekuyiskhathi se youth. I am starring at my bae from a far and I realize that he
looks hella fine today, gosh my man is sexy.
“He is quiet a looker”, my mum says catching me day dreaming looking at Lwa.
“Ma I don’t know what you are talking about, I was just looking around.” Yeap,
I’m still going to deny everything.
“Ntandokazi I was also once young, I’ve noticed for a while now.”
“Ma I don’t know what you are talking about but I love you and thank you so
much for tonight.” A change of subject is definitely needed.
“I am proud of you Bhungane elihle, anyways here are the access cards for the
rooms we booked for you guys here we will come fetch you Monday morning,
that’s check out time.” My eyes get teary again, my mum though. I don’t come
from a rich family but I have a mum who does everything and anything to
make us happy when we make her proud.
“Thanks mum.”
“I don’t want any man there Ntandokazi.” I nod excitedly.
“I’m serious njalo.”
“I know you are, I love you and thank you so much.” We exchange hugs and
just like that the elders leave. The girls and I are now sitting with Lwa, Shaka
and Zweli, I am happy to have him here unfortunately I can’t drink much today
I still need to ensure my guests are ok. Right now I even want to be in his arms
but I can’t with my brothers here, the most I can do is hold his hand.
“Can we have some privacy?”, he whispers in my ear. I nod. I drag him to one
of the rooms mum booked for us, I know I told my mum I wouldn’t bring a guy
here but come on. We are on the bed fondling and cuddling and I am happy
that’s all I wanted.
“Happy birthday babe”, he says the kisses my forehead.
“Thanks baby.”
“I didn’t know what gift to get you but I thought you would like this”, he hands

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me an envelope. I open it and I see plane tickets to Cape Town.
He continues, “How do you feel about a romantic getaway to Cape Town, next
weekend?” Did he say what I heard him say??
“Just the two of us?” He giggles and nods. I jump on top of him and I start
kissing him everywhere, I am so excited.
“YES BABY YES!!! You are just so amazing.” He kisses me and I pull back just to
look at his sexy deep eyes. I can’t help but smile.
“Look at us now baby, who would’ve thought.”
“Hayi sthandwa sami I knew we would end up here from the first day I laid my
eyes on you.”
“How did you know?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you, your smile and your eyes. I remember the
following night I even sent somebody there to check if you guys would pitch up
and if you guys did then he should call me but nothing you guys didn’t pitch up.
Then eventually I saw you arriving at Sun Coast with your sisters and I carefully
examined you and I was blown away so then I tried again but nothing. I wanted
to give up but then I couldn’t so I wasn’t going to stop till I found you and
made you mine.” It’s good to know he was obsessing about me as much as I
was obsessing about him, this is so sweet.
“I love you.”
“I love you too my Queen.” I giggle.
“I like the sound of that.” He smiles then he goes in to kiss me. Gosh! I could
spend the rest of the days of my life laying here with this man.

***********

It’s Wednesday and I am going to the docter, I have been vomiting every
morning for the past few days and I am forever feeling nausea. Lwa told me he
will come today and carry me there on his shoulder if he has to, but he sort of
does have a point its been a week I’ve been sick but I thought it was just going
to go away so I might as well.
“Ms Mthimkhulu you may go through”, the lady at the reception instructs. I
head to the consultation room. I describe all my symptoms to the docter and

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he conducts a urinal test and a blood test.
“My suspicions were accurate I have your results back, Comgratulations Ms
Mthimkhulu you are 8 weeks pregnant.” Heeeeeee??? No I can’t be, It can’t be
… Me?? pregnant?? ME??!!!
“I’m sorry docter they must be a mistake I take morning after pills.”
“Yes well morning after pills have a 90% chance of preventing pregnancy so the
10% chance is still there. Do you want to do an ultrasound?” I am shocked and
speechless, how am I going to explain this to my mum?? What if Lwa doesn’t
want this baby?? I am absolutely frozen a lot of thing are going through my
mind right now.
“Ms Mthimkhulu??”
“Yes please.” I follow him and right there as he shows me the limbs and head
of my developing baby, I finally accept the reality that I am having a baby. An
abortion is not even in my mind, I am keeping this baby whether Lwa wants to
be a part of it’s life or not. At this moment I have no idea how he will react and
I fear his reaction more than that of my family but they is no going back now
whats done is done.

I am back at home locked in my room, I am here just trying to figure out a way
to address this to my mum and Lwa but I think I will tell my mum when I start
showing. As for Lwa well he has to know just so I know where we stand about
this but I am not getting an abortion and that’s final, I may not be ready to be a
mother but that’s life it never prepares you for anything. My phone rings,
speak of the devil.
“Hi.”
“Geez that was cold, is everything ok babe?”
“Yes I am fine, I’m sorry. How are you doing Sthandwa sami?”
“That’s more like it, I’m ok babe. What did the docter say?”
“I was just coming on with a bad fever but he gave me some medication so I
should be fine.” He lets out a huge sigh, he must be relieved.
“That’s great I was really worried about you sthandwa sami. So are you ready
for this weekend?”
“Yes baby I am excited”, I say in a doubtful voice.
“You don’t sound excited, babe are you sure you are ok? If you are not well

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then I can cancel.”
“Hell no that’s not happening, I’m just feeling a bit tired and sleepy that’s it.”
“Ok then rest babe. I love you and will check up on you later.”
“I love you too.” It’s not that am not exited about the trip but I don’t know
how things will turn out since I am going to tell him when I see him this
weekend that I am pregnant.

************

Wow!!! That is the only word I can describe this place. We are booked at the
Atlantic Suites in Camps Bay, this place is absolutely breath taking and the view
in our suiet is just amazing. We are now getting settled in with the Bae, I’m still
very anxious about giving him the good news and I haven’t even told anyone
yet I want him to be the first person to find out. He booked a spa treatment for
me while he plays golf, I wanted him to come with me but he isn’t budging he
says it’s a woman thing so I will just let him be. Just as we get ready to leave a
call from my Aunt this is weird my Aunts from my father’s side never call as in
NEVER.
“Aunty this is a surprise.”
“Mntaka bhuti are you ok?”
“Yes Aunty I am ok what about you.”
“I’m ok yazi I dreamnt sihleli nawe sidla ama fruits.” Ok this is weird my Aunt
called me to tell me she dreamnt of us eating fruits.
“I hear you Aunt but I don’t follow what you are saying.”
“Njengabantu abakwaMthimkhulu that’s a sign from our ancestors that you
pregnant.” What?? How did she know?? I really don’t believe in this whole
thing of ancestors so there must be another reason but how?? I haven’t told
anyone about me being pregnant. I freez, Lwa can see that something is wrong
so he comes near me looking worried.
“Hayi Aunty they must be some mistake. I have to go I will call you later.” I
don’t know what to think maybe my mum found out and told my Aunt but it
doesnt make sense why would she tell me about a dream. I am confused.
“Babe is everything ok? You don’t look too good.”
“Yes everything is fine, let’s go.”

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“Are you sure?”
“Yes Lwandile I am sure.” You can tell he is still concerned but I aint gonna tell
him shit yet.

The day is almost over me and bae Lwa are having dinner at a restaurant at V
& A waterfront. I really want to use this opportunity to tell him this, I thought
about telling him Sunday just in case things turn South with him at least I
would’ve gotten the chance to spend our last days together but I can’t I need
to tell him.
“Sthandwa sami, I have something to tell you.” He doesn’t look like somebody
who is shocked.
“I knew you were hiding something I just figured you would tell me when you
were ready.” Pweeeh ok now it’s do or die time.
“On Wednesday when I went to the docter he didn’t exactly say I had a fever.
He told me that … uhrm … I am … I am pregnant”, I say drilling the table. I can’t
look at him in the eye right now I don’t really want to see his reaction.
“Are you serious??? I am going to be a father???”, he says with an excited
tone. Ok, I didn’t expect this I lift my head to look at him and he is excited ...
very excited. I have never seen him this happy.
“Yes you are going to be a father.” He seems to get more excited as I tell him
that. I don’t want to lie I am relieved, this is what I was hoping to get from him.
He gets up and lifts me up from my seat, people are now starring. He gives me
the warmest hug ever and he starts kissing my forehead, my cheeks and nose. I
start giggling.
“Baby stop it, people are starring.”
“Let them stare, you just made me the happiest man on earth”, he says with
red eyes as if he is about to cry. This is a never seen moment of LwAndile
Zungu almost at his tears. He puts me down and we both sit down.
“Thank you”, I say looking at him.
“For what?”
“Wanting to be apart of my childs life.”, I say with tears rolling down my face.
He gets up and kneels next to me, he looks worried now.
“So that’s why you didn’t tell me this sooner you thought I wouldn’t want to
have a baby with you?” I nod. He wipes of my tears then kisses me.

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“Never!!!! I love you with all my heart and nothing sweetens the deal like
knowing I will have a baby with the woman I love. You and this baby are my
entire world, I will do all I can to provide all that I can for you.” He is rubbing
my stomach, I giggle. I’m not even showing yet. I kiss him.
“Thank you my King, now go back to your seat before people think you are
proposing.” He giggles and sits again. He starts looking at me funny.
“No wonder you’ve been eating so much.”
“Are you trying to say that I’m fat?” My mood then switches from happy to
irritated real quick.
“No babe you are beautiful and glowing. I’m saying that usually we both eat a
lot but this time around you can tell that you are eating for two.”
“You are such a smooth talker”, I say with a smile on my face. A part of me is
relieved now that Lwa knows that we are expecting next thing is next, I have to
tell my family but atleast I can postpone that for atleast another two months
or so.

Lwa and I are back at the hotel, I swear he has been so ridiculous he holds me
when I walk, he doesn’t want me to do anything for myself even hold my own
bag he says I need to rest ... like really though? But I don’t blame him he is
excited. We are now cuddling in bed.
“I can’t believe we are going to be parents.”
“Me too.”
“But don’t worry I’m here, we will do this together.” I kiss him.
“I know.” He places his hand on my stomach and looks at it in admiration.
“Mfana wami I promise I will take care of you and your mum.” Lol Lwa is
forward who said it’s a boy.
“She and I know that very well and baby I have one request.”
“Im listening sthandwa sami.”
“Please don’t tell your parents that I am expecting until I deliever the news to
my family first.” He nods and kisses me. I doubt I will ever see Lwa excited
about anything like this ever again.
“I love you my Queen.”
“I love you more my King.” So this is it, Lwa and I are going to have a baby.

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I feel a bit excited but the fact that I have a human growing in me also makes
me nervous

It’s the morning, I wake up and I find Lwa holding my stomach and “talking to
it”.
“My baby boy, I can’t wait for you to get here so I can hold you. I know you are
the one who has been making mommy sick but it’s enough now we have
noticed you. I know your mom is worried but don’t worry daddy will take care
of everything.” Lol I want to laugh, I know that Lwa loves kid’s but this is weird
our baby hasn’t even developed fully yet.
“What if it’s a girl?” I say disturbing his moment.
“It’s a boy I can feel it in me.”
“So if it’s a girl you wont love her as much?”
“No babe I would still lover her the same but this one right here is a boy.” Lol I
wonder why he is so positive about it, I also remember my mum once told me
that my dad was certain that I was a boy but dololo I came along. I reach for
my bag and I take out the picture the docter gave me from the ultra sound.
“I can’t even see what I am looking at”, he says as he keeps looking carefully
into the picture.
“Neither can I but when the docter explains it tends to make a bit of sense.”
“I want us to go there today? I just want to see him properly” Lol there we go
again with the him but let me just let him be but we will see after 7 months. I
nod. I just wish we could just stay in our own love bubble forever and ever and
forget about the world and its troubles.
“Babe I have been thinking.”
“I’m listening Mr Zungu”
“I love you MaMthimkhulu. I know you said we should wait but I don’t want to
wait anymore I want my child to be born in an environment where they have
both their parents together. So will you marry me?”
“I love you too but baby nothing has changed we can still wait.”
“KANTI NTANDOKAZI WHATS THE PROBLEM??? Why don’t you want to be my
wife?? Haven’t I showed you that I am more than determined to build a future
with you!!!! Or maybe do you still want to look around??”, he says shouting at

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me. At this moment I am speechless Lwa is taking this the wrong way.
“Sthandwa sami please calm down that is not what I mean. I don’t want you to
marry me now all of a sudden because I am having your child, I don’t want our
marriage to be driven by that. Lwandile me and you both know that the life
you are currently living now is not a stable one for us to build the foundation of
our family on. I know that they is nothing left but for you to run this businesss
but you need to stabilize the situation and you leaving me in the middle of the
night most of the time and coming in and out of the house with guns is not a
stable life.” He looks at me with shock as I say that, I guess he didn’t think I was
noticing all of this.
“I love you Manzini and I want to be your wife and build a life with you but I
want that to happen the right way, I want me and our baby to feel safe when
we are at home and having 6 security guards at the house proves that we are a
long way from that. Can we please just take our time and grow as a couple and
do things accordingly.” He lets out a huge sigh but he doesn’t seem to be mad
anymore.
“Ngyakuzwa MaMthimkhulu but nothing would prevent me from protecting
you and our baby. I promise you I will do everything to make a better life for
us, I just need some time.”
“I know and I’m not putting you in any pressure.” He comes towards me to
hold me. I will become Lwa’s wife but only when the time is right. I don’t want
us to rush anything.
I come out of the bathroom with Lwa and my phone has 10 missed calls some
from Nokbonga, Nozuko, Zweli, Shaka and Zethu. This could only mean one
thing, Lwa has told them about the pregnancy.
“But baby you promised you wouldn’t say anything yet.”
“No no I said I wouldn’t say anyting to my parents yet, that was the agreement.
I can’t not tell my brothers and sisters babe these are good news and I am very
excited so I needed someone to be excited with me.” Ow well I guess he has a
point, maybe I should also tell my sisters now vele eventually they will find out.
I decide to take a picture of the ultra sound of the baby and forward it to Esihle
and Akhona, I just hope they don’t see it now.
“Ntando”, Lwa calls out when he notices that I am deep in my thoughts.

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“Yes baby.”
“Don’t worry sthandwa sami, I will take care of everything.”
“It’s hard for me not to worry there are a lot of things on…” He kisses me as I
was trying to explain. He kisses me slowly, so so slow that I can endure and
appreciate this moment. I can feel my blood rushing at 220km/h I don’t even
know if that’s possible but that’s what I am feeling. Then he takes off my towel
and carries me to bed, he then starts kissing every part of me slowly and so
carefully you’d swear I would break. I gasp for air when he starts kissing my
cookies he has never kissed it like this before, I love it. He then comes up and
starts riding on me slowly, gently and carefully. I am enjoying this, I swear Lwa
has taken the term ‘making love’ and put it on a new level because this is how
it should be done it’s like he is trying to communicate how much he loves me
and he cares for me. Right now I can feel my body get weak.
“I LOVE YOU LWANDILE!!!”, I say just as I cum. This is new even to me usually I
say fuck or something like that but not this time around. He kisses my forehead
then lays next to be and then I lay on his chest … it’s still my sanctuary.
“Ngyakthanda nami MaMthimkhulu.”
“Sthandwa sami what was that about?”
“That was me telling you not to worry in a language we both seem to
understand. I love you babe and it worries me when you are stressed out. Do
you trust me?”
“OfCourse I do baby.”
“Then trust me when I say I will take care of everything.” Hayi ke the man has
spoken I don’t know what he means by he will take care of everything but I
need to trust in my man.

We decided to go to the docter today before we did anything else. The docter
is busy moving that camera thingy on stomach explaining to us the visible
features of our baby and what we can expect in a couple of weeks. Lwa is so
excited right now but in a way I also am, I feel very attached to my baby now
and I know it’s still early days but this baby feels real to me.
“Docter when can we find out the sex of our baby?” I ask.
“When you are 16 weeks pregnant but that’s only if the baby is in a position

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which enables us to see the genitles. Let me give you two a moment.” Lwa
looks at me as if he is disapproving.
“No Ntando we won’t find out the sex of our baby till it’s born.”
“Why not baby?”
“No Ntando we will do as I say and do not question me about it”
“It’s my baby too you know.”
“I’m sorry babe I didn’t mean it that way but please respect my wishes.”
“Ok.” He then kisses my forehead. I don’t know why he doesn’t want us to find
out the gender before birth, it doesn’t make much of a difference but anyways
I will respect his wishes.

The day is over and we are both tired, it’s been a long one. We did a lot of
things today I’m talking scuba diving (which was my idea he hated it), Jet Skiing
(still my idea but he liked it), shopping (which he also hates) then we went to
Robben Island and Table Mountain then lunch at some beach front restaurant
and then lastly we watched a movie then had the dinner at another restaurant
at the V&A. So yes today has been a great day indeed, it’s just sad that
tomorrow we are going our separate ways. And now that reality actually sinks
in I need to call my sisters, they have been calling the whole day and I’ve been
ignoring them. Let me just do an confrenece call so I can deal with them one
time.
“Bitch we have been trying to get ahold of you all day”, yah neh Akhona
doesn’t even say hello.
“I know guys I’ve just been busy. Whatsup?”
“Whatsup? What do you mean whatsup??”, that’s all I can make out as they
are both shouting at me all at once. I disconnect the call and call again after a
few seconds.
“Are you guys done screaming?”
“Ntando how could you not tell us that you are pregnant”, Esihle says sounding
very concerned.
“Cabanga even Zethu and Shaka found out before we did”, Akhona.
“Guy’s I’m sorry but I wanted Lwa to be the first one to know and I’ve had a lot
on my mind to be honest I didn’t want any of my family members to know yet
because I don’t know how you guys would react.”

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“But Ntando you are our sister we should always know you can count on us,
come on you know better than that.” Esihle is really making me feel bad I
didn’t think they would perceive it like this.
“I know guys and I am sorry.”
“It’s fine babes. So old is he now?” Lol iheee Akhona is mad why do they keep
referring to my love muffin as a he.
“SHE!! Is 8 weeks now.” The both laugh.
“Ntando it’s going to be a boy”, Esihle seconds. Hayi ngeke I don’t like this.
“That’s what Lwa also thinks and you guys are my sisters you are supposed to
be on my side. Plus how can you guys be so sure?”
“It’s just an instinct mntase”, Esihle. Mcm they can take their insticts and shove
them where the sun doesn’t shine, ntombazane kaMa wayo lena.
“What ever you guys. I love both of you so much.”
“We love you too”, they both say. Now that that’s of the table I can snuggle up
with my bae.
“What did they say”, he asks.
“They said that it’s a boy.” I am annoyed by this. He smiles.
“You see even they know.” I think I’ve heard enough.
“What time are our flights tomorrow?” I ask.
“So you are ready to leave me vele.” I kiss him.
“I will never be ready to say goodbye to you.” He seems amused.
“I going to miss you sthandwa sami.” Lord knows I wish I can never leave his
side.
“I will miss you too themba lami.” He kisses me. We are both tired but we
squeezed in a love making session before we took a bath. I can’t believe it
honestly, me and Lwa came from being strangers, to being lovers, to becoming
soulmates and now on our journey to becoming parents. I love this man as
imperfect as he is but he completes me, it’s sort of that thing in life when you
don’t know whats been missing in your life until you find it. I would’ve never
chosen anyone else to have children with other than this man sleeping right
next to me. I hope he does know how much I love him.

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 Chapter 12

Believe me when I say that being a full time student and pregnant is not an
easy job, I’m just glad that first semester is over and I am going back home to
rest. I am now 5 months pregnant and my big belly is very hard to miss. My
family already knows that I am expecting, they weren’t really happy about it
but now they are accepting it. Lwa’s family is also anxiously anticipating the
birth of my baby, they have already payed damages. I’m so tired right now and
I am waiting for Lwa to take us to the airport, we spent the night in Joburg he
got here two days ago because he had some business to do. My little love
muffin is really killing me, she kicks all the time sometimes even when I am
asleep but funny enough when Lwa is around she doesn’t kick at all and that
makes Lwa upset because he wants to feel it, kwazi bona ukuthi babangeni.
“Babe are you ready it’s time to go?”, Lwa says as he walks in.
“Yes babe lets go”, he helps me get up. Lwa has been very supportive since he
found out I am pregnant, he has been coming to Potch every weekend to see
us even though at times he is busy he comes by just to spend the night then he
leaves.
‘’Did he kick today?” he asks as he places his hand on my stomach.
“Lwa that’s why you and your baby don’t get along it’s because you keep
calling her a boy.” Yup we are still at it, we still don’t know the gender of our
baby yet and we wont until I give birth thats what daddy Lwa wanted but I still
think it’s a girl and he think’s it’s a boy.
“You think so?”
“Yeap I do.” He kneels next to me.
“My boy stop misleading your mum and letting her think you are a girl. Tell me
what did daddy do? What does daddy need to do for you to show him that are
alive and well?” Lol this is so sweet I wish I could take a video of this. Nothing
she still doesn’t kick. Lwa looks sad, I don’t like seeing him like this.
“Nana come on kick for daddy now, I love daddy and I know you love him too
so show him that you do.” She kicks, I quickly take Lwa’s hand and place it on
me. He is happy, very happy.
“I can’t wait until you come so that I can hold you in my arms”, he says. I am

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inlove with this moment right here.
“Baby lets go before we miss our flight.” We get up and leave.

We then get to Durban, we will be spending the week here (which my family
doesn’t know) before I head home. Being pregnant is rough, the flight was only
an hour but I am absolutely drained not to mention that my cravings are
haywire I’ve gained 10 kg’s in the past five months and the docter warned
against it he even set out a diet plan for me, I try to to stick to it but sometimes
I need to give myself some guilty pleasures. Even just wearing underwear is
uncomfortable and my feet can not handle my weight because if I stand for
more then 15 minutes they start to fail on me. We are driving to Umhlanga
right now.
“Baby can we stop at kfc for some duncked wings.” He nods. For some reason
that’s my new obsession, I don’t know why because they used to disgust me I
never used to see how meat and chocolate mix but now it’s one of the things I
can’t survive without including donuts and red velvet cake especially red velvet
cake. I remember this other time I woke him up at 3am and told him I want a
red velvet cake I was so needy that I even ended up crying but luckily I had a
red velvet easy muffin mix in the kitchen and he baked for me, the following
morning he didn’t waste anytime when I woke up he already went to Spar and
came back with 5 trays of red velvet cake. Till this day we don’t go anywhere
without him buying dounuts and red velvet cake. We drive through the kfc
drive thru and he buys me a whole bucket of them, they don’t even sell a
bucket of dunked wings but they had to make a special order. He keeps looking
at me as he is driving, he is smiling.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m just admiring the mother of my child.” Nchoo I can’t help but blush, Lwa
can be be the sweetest man ever at times and that’s why I love him. As we get
home I can see Nokbonga and Nozuko rushing outside, I didn’t know that they
were here. Well Nozuko moved to Pmb after her mother passing, Lwa
managed to get her into UKZN so she can study Medicine. I get out of the car
and then I hug them. I missed them, I haven’t seen them in a very long time
but we often communicate through the phone

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“Look at you, I can see Lwa junior is doing wonders you look beautiful and you
are glowing”, Nokbonga. Did she just??? I give up my baby is a boy it’s time I
accept it because I am clearly fighting a losing battle.
“Thank you, I didn’t know you guys would be here.”
“We had to come and see you”, Nozuko. Forever looking inocent like the first
day we met, she hasn’t changed one bit.
“Hello I’m also here you know”, Lwa says as me and the girls go on and on
paying him no mind. We all laugh then the girls go to hug her.
“Can I touch”, Nozuko asks looking at my belly. I nod. She places her hand then
my love muffin starts kicking, she then gets excited. Lwa is shocked it took
weeks to get the love muffin to kick for him but with the girls it’s a matter of
seconds.
“This boy loves women”, he says folding his arms. We laugh at him. We then
go inside the house and it feels good to be back here, this place sort of feels ike
my second home. Eventually I swear I am going to get tired of these stairs. I
open the door to Lwa’s room and I can see a pink box on top of the bed, a
bunch of flowers and a note. I read the note first.

“Thanks for being the mother of my child and thank you for agreeing to be the mother of the 19 more
kids we are going to have. I know it gets hard sometimes but believe me sthandwa sami I am working
on building a better future for us. Ngyakthanda MaBhungane ka Manzini.”

I feel tear rolling down my cheeks then I feel him hugging me from behind, this
is so sweet. I hold on to him.
“Ngyakthanda nami sthandwa sami”, I say. He says nothing and he just holds
me. I literally have no reason not to want to be with this man he does all he
can to make me happy.
“What’s in the pink box, it smells nice.” Lol that’s me ruining the moment but I
can’t help it the smell keeps calling my name. He laughs at me.
“It’s your favourite.” I open the box and it’s slices of my red velvet cake with a
few doughnuts. Yazini this man gets me, I start digging in.
“Do you want some?”
“You must be really touched it’s the first time you offered me your treats.” Lol
uyaphapha yazi uLwa, but he has a point I never do.
“It’s just that baby it’s really good, it feels like it touches my soul.”

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“Narh it’s fine babe enjoy it.” Weeeh he doesn’t have to tell me that twice. I
know that I really need to cut down on this junk but it’s so hard, now I
understand what it’s like for people who are addicted to drugs to just stop.

It’s in the afternoon and me and the girls are just Netflix and chilling and bae
Lwa left to go attend to some business. When it comes to him I have learnt not
to ask too many questions because I am afraid the answers to my never-ending
questions won’t be pleasant so what I don’t know won’t hurt me. As usual I am
stuffing my face with more red velvet cake, trust me it’s hard to ignore it when
you open the fridge it’s all that you see so I might as well treat myself, I will try
losing all this weight after I give birth anyways. Lwa walks in with Sk the tsotsi
looking guy, immediately I feel chills run down my spine. Lwa looks mad, not
even mad but furious he didn’t bother to say a word to us.
“Sanibonani”, Sk greets just before he follows Lwa. Just as I try to get up I feel a
sharp pain in my lower abdomen.
“BHUTY LWANDILE!!!”, Nokbonga shouts as she sees me flinch in pain. Lwa
doesn’t come immideately.
“LWANDILE!! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH NTANDO”, Nozuko says adding on.
He comes running, he looks less angry now he is just worried.
“Sthandwa sami whats wrong? Should we take you to the docter?”
“No I’m fine I think it’s just a cramp.”
“Nokbonga call the docter and tell him to meet us at the hospital I don’t want
to take any chances.”
“No Lwa I’m fine I promise the docter did say that this would happen.” It
doesn’t seem like he is listening to a word I am saying. He picks me up and we
head to the car.
“Go finish that job!!”, Lwa instructs Sk. Then we drive off. We get to hospital
and the docter is already waiting for us. The docter checks me.
“Well they is nothing to worry about it was just cramps, she will get some from
time to time because her uterus is expanding. I can do an ultra sound of the
baby if you want to.” We all nod. Right then as I can hear my babies heart
beating I can feel my heart warming up with joy. Lwa is so excited, he is
holding my hand so tight you’d swear I said I will run away. Our babies body is
clearly developed now, we can even see him sucking his thumb.

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“This is one is going to be a mama’s boy wake wayibonaphi indoda encela
isithupha (where have you ever seen a man sucking his thumb)”
“Haibo bhuty Lwa phela he is still a baby … an unborn one to be precise he can
suck his thumb whenever he want’s to.” Nokbonga comes to Lwa juniors
rescue.
“Do you want to know your babies gender?”
“No!!!”, the Zungus/Khumalos say simulataneously kanti what is it with this
family, whats so wrong about knowing a childs gender before I give birth. The
Docter smiles.
“Ok no problem.” And then just like that the ultra sound is over, weirdly I wish
I had my own so I can see my baby whenever I want to. I’m a bit sad now I
really can’t wait until my baby arrives so I can just see him and hold him. Lwa
is carefully holding me as we walk back to the car, I love this it makes me feel
like an egg. As we drive back he places his hand on my belly, then Lwa junior
kicks and he smiles I guess he wanted to know from the horse’s mouth if he is
ok. We get to the house and he doesn’t enter this means he is going back to
whatever that made him angry in the first place. The girls get out and I stay
behind, I don’t know why but all of a sudden I’m getting emotional.
“Please come back home safe, we still need you”, I say rubbing my stomach.
“I will sthandwa sami.” He wipes my tears then kisses me, not just any type of
kiss but he gives me that ‘goodbye sthandwa sami’ type of kiss. It could just be
my emotions getting the best of me but I don’t like this something just doesn’t
feel right. He gets out of the car to help me walk back to the house.

It’s midnight and Lwa still isn’t back, I can’t help but get worried. What if
something happened to him? I’ve tried calling him for a couple of hours now
but his phone sends me straight to voice mail. Tears start rolling down my eyes
as I start to think of losing him.
“Babe what’s wrong why are you cry?” he says as he walks in. I run to him and I
hug him.
“Why did you switch off your phone? I was worried sick about you.”
‘I’m sorry babe my battery is flat.” I feel a burst of anger so I start punching his
chest.
“Sthandwa sami stop it, I’m sorry.” He holds me close to him.

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“Don’t ever do that to me ever again.” As I hold him I can feel Lwa junior
kicking, I guess he was worried about daddy too. He Lets go a bit and looks at
my stomach.
“Ok ok I’m sorry for worrying you too, I promise you and your mum it won’t
happen again.” I laugh, I don’t know if Lwa junior can really feel that his daddy
is around but sometimes its weird it’s like he understands what going on.
“Syakthanda Manzini.”
“Nami ngiyanithanda.” This is our little heartfelt family moment right here. I
like the sound of that … family.

“Babe wake up!” I am woken up by the sound of Lwa’s voice. He is walking into
the room with a tray filled with breakfast and a slice of velvet cake and a
doughnut on the side. Bese phela you wonder why I love this man, he gets me.
“Thank you sthandwa sami”, I say. He then kisses my forehead.
“Babe have your breakfast and bath I will come back after 2 hours I want to
take you somewhere.” I nod excitedly.
“Where are we going to though baby?”
“You will see when we get there. Enjoy you breakfast.” He then lands one last
kiss on my mouth.
“Good bye junior”, he says kissing my stomach. Lol I have a weird baby daddy
but he is sweet like that. I admire how Lwa can be intermidating and harsh to
other people but when it comes to me he can show his soft emotional side, it’s
cute.

Lwa and I are driving, I can tell that he is very excited. He keeps touching my
stomach and smiling at me it’s cute. I on the other hand am digging in some of
my dunked wings. We then get to Zimbali. But iwe doesn’t seem like we going
to his house, he drives on till we stop at this huge beautiful house. He comes to
my side to help me get out of the car. He hasn’t said anything yet then he
holds my hand and pulls me to follow him. We get inside this house and it’s
just an empty house no furniture nothing but it is beautiful … breathtaking …
amazing it’s just wow. It has a huge ass kitchen, I can already envision this
house with furniture, then outside is this long ass swimming pull which has the
dinning area in front of it and another area which is a lounge area, upstairs

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there are 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms then theres the master bedroom which
has it’s own en suite that his and her basins and toilets, then a glass shower
and bathtub and two walk in waredrobes. The list goes on and on of all the
awesome things in this house. Lwa and I are just walking around and he is
showing me the house.
“Do you like it?” he says as we sit on the stair cases (I’m tired).
“Like it?? Are you kidding me?? This house is incredible I love it!!” Then I feel
Lwa junior kicking and I quickly place Lwa’s hand on my stomach.
“Junior loves it too”, I add on. He smiles and kisses me.
“So how would you like for this to be our home?” Wait what??? I laugh then I
hold myself, I get up then I rush down the stairs (of which I shouldn’t be doing)
“Easy babe”, he shouts out as he follows me. I look around the place then I
smile, I’m excited … very excited … super excited. Tears of joy start rolling
down my face, I swear I have never been this excited in my life about anything.
Lwa is happy to see me like this.
“Lwandile are you serious?” He nods looking amused by my excitement. I rush
to hug him. Then reality sinks in why would Lwa buy another house when he
has 3 of them.
“Wait but baby you already have 3 houses whats the need to buy another
one?”
“Usho kahle have 3 houses they don’t mean anyting to me but I don’t have a
home and I want this to be our home. This is where we are going to make new
memories as a family. Listen babe I really am trying to secure a better life for
us.”
“I know you are and thank you for that.”
“Anything for my Queen and Prince, now all that’s left is to make you my wife.”
Nchooo that’s so sweet, I love my King and I also can’t wait till I am Mrs Zungu.
I can’t believe that this incredible place is going to be home some day soon.

**********

Gosh time really does travel fast, I have only two days before I go back home
and it really is difficult to come into terms with this. Me and the girls are out

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shopping and Lwa left very early this morning to check thee shipment. It’s very
weird that he hasn’t called to ask how we are doing but anyways let me just let
him be, he will call us when he gets time. I’m walking by Naartjie and I decide
to go in, I see this beautiful t-shirt with navy shorts I know my love muffin will
look cute in this.
“That looks so cute”, Nokbonga says.
“I know.”
“So why don’t you take it?” I really don’t have a reason so I decide to take it.
Before we know it me and the girls are paying for a trolley full of baby clothes
that we love, I know my love muffin will look snazzy when he arrives.

It’s 3pm and we are back at home but still nothing from Lwa, I don’t want to
worry myself over nothing but he has never done this before. It’s best I call
Shaka just to make sure that everything is ok. Damn! No answer from both
Zethu and Shaka, this is not good.
“Don’t worry he is fine”, Nozuko assures me as she sees me pacing up and
down the house.
“But why don’t I feel good about this?”
“You are just letting your emotions get the best of you don’t worry I’m sure he
just got caught up at work.” That’s easy for Nozuko to say, she and Nokbonga
don’t know the business their family is involved in. I really hope he is ok but I
tell you something doesn’t feel right about this I just have to pray and hope
that God keeps him safe for me.

I’m upstairs in bed trying catch some nap time but I can’t I’m too worried
about Lwandile so I decide to open metro fm. I’m not that much of a radio fan
but they usually play nice music around this time hopefully that will sooth me.
“Breaking new, this morning a huge drug bust was made at KD habour. The police have
the three co-owners of this place under custody to find out if they have any link to the
drugs that were found in their carts.”
Immideately I feel my heart drop, KD habour belongs to the Khumalo and
Dlamini family. How could this happen? I freeze I don’t know what to say or
think. The father of my child, the love of my life is in jail. Tears start running

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down my cheeks. My phone then rings, it’s Zwe.
“Please tell me it’s not true.”
“Ntando, Lwa wanted me to tell you not to worry he will sort this out.” I am
speechless and all I can do now is just cry.
“I need to go see him, how did this happen?”
“Ntando calm down, you will stress out the baby. Don’t worry everything is
going to be fine.”
“I’m going to see him.” I drop the call before he can even answer. I don’t know
how I am going to leave these girls but I don’t want to alarm them that
something is wrong. I will have to call an uber.

I get to the police station and I am waiting for Lwa at the visitor’s room. Then
he walks in with some policeman who has him in handcuffs. I get up to hug
him, tears start rolling down.
“No touching!” the policeman instructs. I let go and I sit down and he sits
across me.
“Sthandwa Sami I will be out of here soon don’t worry.” I don’t even know
what to say to him, I’m just crying. I can see tears in his eyes as he see’s me
crying more and more. He tries to reach out for my hand.
“No touching!”, the police man instructs us just as I was about to hold him.
“Don’t cry MaMthimkhulu I promise you I will be out of here soon. Do the girls
know?”
“No they don’t. Lwandile you need to get out of here, you can’t let me raise
this child alone.”
“I won’t babe trust me.”
“Time is up!!!!!!!” the police man shouts out. Lwandile gets up and they hand
cuff him again.
“Ngyakthanda Ntandokazi”, he says as he goes out of the door. I can’t even
respond, I’m still shocked. I can’t believe it’s the love of my life that is being
dragged like this. I wipe my tears then I leave. I get at home and Zweli is here.
“Haw Ntando how could you leave without…” Zweli shakes in disapproval to
Nokbonga who was about to lecture me.
“Are you ok?” Zweli asks as he hugs me. Right now I needed this and I just
want to break down in tears but I can’t, not infront of Nozuko and Nokbonga.

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“I’m ok, can we please talk.” He follows me to the lounge outside.
“What happened?”, I ask the moment we sit down.
“They said they were at the habour, they were waiting for the trucks to come
so they can offload the merchandise from the crate and next thing they knew
they were surrounded by police who had a warrant to check the premisis. Then
they found the drugs.” Well that’s odd, phela a warrant needs to be signed off
by a judge this could only mean they already knew what they were looking for.
“So that means that they were tipped off?” He nods.
“But by who?”
“That’s what we are still tring to figure out. We tried calling some of our
contacts but this seems like a very solid case, they will have to go to trial.”
I have a lot of things going through my mind, who ever who tipped them
must’ve been someone who is well clued up about everything. Someone who
knows when the shipment arrives, the time it takes before the trucks arrive
and all that jazz it must’ve been somebody close to them but who?? The only
people have that information is Lwa, Shaka and Zethu and the buyers only.
“But don’t worry we wil figure something out and we will find that person but
Ntando you just need to be strong”, Zwe adds on.
“I know, do Ma and Bab Khumalo know?”
“Dad knows, he and Zweli’s dad are trying all that’s in their powers to find a
loophole but not uMa you know how she gets.”
“What if they don’t find one?”
“Well we have applied for bail and we will take it from there.” I let out a huge
sigh, I know I need to be strong for the sake of my baby but how can I not
worry. I just have to be positive and trust that Lwandile will come back to us as
soon as possible.

It’s a bit hard to stall the matter about Lwa, Shaka and Zethu being arrested
from these girls I had to lie and say he had some business that he had to take
care of in Johanessburg and that I had forgotten about it. They didn’t seem to
believe it but right now they have no choice but to take what I tell them, Zwe
said they would tell them if they’re efforts to get them out without a trial
doesn’t work. My phone ring’s, it’s Akhona. I’m hesitant to answer it because I

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don’t think she knows otherwise she would’ve called me a long time ago.
“Mntasekhaya.”
“Hey Ntando, Is Lwa with you?”
“Uhrm no.”
“Is he with Zethu? I have been trying to call him the whole day but nothing.” I
don’t know whether to tell her or to wait just a little bit longer.
“Are you at home or are you still in PMB?”
“I’m still in PMB, why?”
“I will send the driver to come fetch you so get ready.”
“Ntando whats wrong? Where is Zethu?”
“Nothing is wrong, Zethu is with Lwa. Just do as I say.” What a lie but I have to
protect my sister, better I tell her when we are together because I don’t know
how she will take this.

Akhona is here, I’m just waiting for Esihle to arrive. She was driving to
Ladysmith when I called her and I asked her to come to Durban, she should be
here in the next 30 minutes. Right now I need both of them, I can’t go through
this alone. Ma Goodness has dished up supper and the table is a bit tense,
Akhona wants to know where Zethu is, the girls want to knw what I’m hiding
it’s just all rough. I swear I need a glass of Champaigne to calm myself down.
My phone rings, its Mbali. I excuse myself from the table.
“Ntando I just heard. How are you holding up?”
“Not well at all but I have to be strong.”
“You need to be strong for the baby. Lwa will be out soon don’t let this get to
you.”
“I know and I am trying but he is the man I love I cant not worry about him.”
“I know but soon this will be water under the bridge, take care of yourself and
the baby. I will check on you tomorrow.” I know that I have to try and be
strong but this is a lot for me to handle. Just after I sit down at the tense table,
Esihle walks in.
“Sanibonani Layikhaya”, Esihle. Thank God.
“Esihle I didn’t know you were also coming”, Akhona says as she gets up to hug
her. I get up to hug her as well. Just as I hold on to her I start to get emotional,

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my support system is here.
“Angithi it’s Ntando who told me last minute”, Esihle. Nozuko gets up to hug
Esihle, she knows my sisters because I introduced them to her when we were
at her mother’s funeral.
“Ow this is my other sister Esihle and Esihle this is Nokbonga.” Nokbonga gets
up to hug her.
“Mntase sit down and let’s have dinner.” Her presence really helped she is
talking up a storm and making us all laugh.

Dinner is now over, the girls went to watch tv and me and my sisters are sitting
at the outside lounge I am about to break the bomb.
“Ntando enough you have been stalling for too long now, I want answers”,
Akhona. I touch my stomach then l look at them.
“They were arrested this morning, apparently someone hinted the police.”
They look are shocked, Akhona starts crying and Esihle comforts her.
“So what now Ntando? Are you ok?”
“I’ll be fine Esihle. Well Zwe told me that they are still looking for loopholes if
that doesn’t work out then they apply for bail hearing.” Esihle starts to get
emotional, this is hard on all of us. I get up to hug them.
“Guys we have to be strong for them and be positive, being weak and crying
wont change anything so stop crying”, I say.
“Ow and guys Nokbonga and Nozuko don’t know yet so can we please keep it
that way.” They nod. I hate seeing my sisters like this but we have to be strong
and give Lwa, Skaka and Zethu faith that everything will be ok.
“I love you guys”, Esihle says.
“We love you too.”
It’s in the morning and today we are going to see them. We brought them
toiletries and food. Even though it’s under bad circumstances, I am excited to
go see my lover. I am anxiously waiting for my bae to home. The officer then
then comes in with him, I really do want to hold him but it’s not allowed.
“Sawbona sthandwa sami how are you holding up?”
“I’m ok babe, how are you? How is junior doing?”
“Junior is ok, I am ok. We are just worried about you.”

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“Don’t worry about me I am ok, I just can’t wait to get out of here and come
back to you it kills me seeing you like this and not being able to touch you.”
“I know baby it kills me too. Junior and I made you this.” I say handing him the
food and the toiletries.
“You are the best but I don’t want you cooking or even cleaning, you just need
to eat you red velvet cake and relax.” I love it how he cares for me like that.
“Ngyakthanda Manzini.”
“Ngyakthanda nami MaBhungane.” I want to kiss him but I can’t. Just like that
our time is up, I swear I will come see him everyday until he comes out. It’s
better seeing him and not touching him than not seeing him at all. I will have
to lie to my mum about me coming back home at least stall for another week.

*********

Today is the bail hearing, Nokbonga and Nozuko now know the current
situation their family is faced with and they are shattered as expected. I’m
already at the court with Akhona, Esihle, Zweli, Bab’ Khumalo, Ma Khumalo
and Mr and Mrs Dlamini (Zethu’s parents). I’m very anxious, they have the best
lawyer in country so I am a bit positive. Lwa junior has been giving me troubles
for the past 4 days and I don’t know whats wrong with him and I haven’t had
time time to go to the docter.
“All rise for judge.” We do just that, then we sit down. The advocate and our
lawyer state their point of argument.
“Due to the arguments that have been presented to me, I deny bail for Mr
Zungu, Mr Khumalo and Mr Dlamini because they could pose as a flight risk.
Court is adjourned.” I feel my heart beating fast very fast, how could this
happen. Lwa looks at me and tears start rolling down my eyes. Just as I get up,
I feel a sharp pain in my stomach I try to resist it but then I feel it again.
“NTANDOKAZI!!” Lwa shouts out my name. As I look down I see blood rolling
down my legs.
“NTANDO!! NTANDO!!” Lwa Shouts out fighting to come to me. I’m now
surrounder by my sisters and the Khumalo’s. Next thing my eyes go blank and I
am out.

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When I wake up I am in hospital surrounded by The Khumalo’s, Dlamini’s and
my sisters. They all look worried and they are lost in their own world because
they only notice I am awake when they see me trying to get up.
“Mntase how are you feeling?”, Esihle.
“I’m ok just in pains. Is my baby ok?” They all start drilling the floor. I’m
starting to feel nervous.
“Esihle is my baby ok?” Still nothing just silence. I then ring the emergency
button, if they won’t tell me the nurses have to.
“Ntando calm down”, Akhona says. This bitch must not dare mess with me,
why don’t they want to tell me where my baby is. The nurse walks in.
“Is my baby ok?”, I ask with tears in my eyes. She looks at the people in this
room and they are all looking down.
“I’m sorry mam but they were some complications your baby didn’t make it.”
And right there and then I feel my whole world crumble, I completely freeze.
No tears, no reaction I just sat there not saying a word. What did I do to
deserve this, first it seems like I am going to lose the love of my life and now
my baby ... my first baby. Just as the nurse leaves my mum walks in. She has
red eyes I can tell she has been crying. Then immideately I break down and
place myself in the comfort of her arms. I cry and cry and cry to the point
where I can’t even breath anymore, I can’t stop thinking whats the whole point
of living if I can never be happy. Why my baby? Why me? My heart is
shattered, I am emotionally damaged.
“Thula mntanami musa ukukhala manje (Hush my child don’t cry anymore)”,
my mum says trying to comfort me but I can’t stop. I was only left with just 3
months and 2 weeks before I give birth, WHY ME?? Ma Khumalo, Ma Dlamini
and my sisters are trying to comfort me but I can’t I can’t stop crying. Zweli
left, probably to tell Lwa what happened and Bab’ Khumalo and Bab’ Dlamini
are walking up and down the room both looking very troubled and worried.
Lwandile … how am I going to explain this to him? He was already so attached
with junior.
“Boy or Girl?”, I ask trying to catch my breath.
“Boy”, Ma Khumalo says. I end up crying more then I was. Today has to be the
worst day of my life and I doubt they can ever be one worse then this one. I’m

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now breathing under a nebulizer. I am tired and I am drained, I don’t know
how I will ever move on from this but if I do I hope that day comes soon.

I wake up from my sleey and as I open my eyes I realize that losing my baby
wasn’t just a bad dream, it’s a reality. I feel my heart break all over again. I
start to cry again. Zwe and the girls are the only one’s here so they try to
comfort me.
“Ntandokazi you need to stop crying, this is not good for you”, Zweli. I continue
to cry. My baby really is gone. I fail to understand why this has happened to
me. My tears begin to lessen as I keep crying. I need to accept this as hard as it
is. I have never felt such pain in my life, I feel like a part of me has been torn
away from me. I slowly being to calm down.
“Where are the parents?” I ask.
“They went to see Lwa”, Zwe answers. Haibo! Then it hits me, I never told my
mum that Lwa is in jail and she sure as hell isn’t supposed to know what Lwa
does for a living.
“Relax we told her that they are being held because they own the place but it’s
flase accusations they are being framed. She seems to believe it.”, Zwe
explains. Pweeeh, that was close. I know my mum is open minded because my
dad once also got arrested and he really was innocent but had charges against
him for fraud so I guess life has taught her to keep an open mind about things.
“Ok, did you tell him?”
“Yes”, Zwe responds as he drills the floor. I know that where ever he is he is as
damaged as I am but I hope that Shaka and Zethu will try being there for him.
“How long do I need to be here?”
“The docter said that you will be discharged tomorrow”, Esihle. Thank God I
rather go back home thn to be in a blace that reminds so much of my loss. My
phone rings, it’s Olwethu. I need him so much right now, he has been in India
for the past two months because of work.
“Bro.” He lets out a huge sigh.
“I’m sorry sis I heard, how are you holding up?”
“Not well at all”, tears start flooding my eyes all over again. I can’t believe what
happened.

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“Hey hey Sis don’t cry, I promise everything will be ok. How is Lwa holding up?”
Eish kambe he has no clue that he has been arrested. I can’t tell him now I’m
Not in a state to answer all his questions.
“Not well at bro.”
“I’m sorry about what has happened, I will try coming back home this
weekend.”
“Ok bro.”
“I love you sis”
“I love you too.” I really hope my brother was here right now, I need him. Just
after I drop the call, Mbali walks in. She walks to me and just holds me, I feel so
defeated.
“Don’t worry you guys will get through this”, she says wiping my tears.
Everyone keeps saying that but I highly doubt it. I will keep blaming myself for
losing this baby, maybe I should’ve relaxed a bit more, maybe I should’ve went
to the docter immideatly when I knew that something was wrong. Honestly I
can never be too sure what I did wrong but I know that the pain that I’m
feeling can not be taken away by anything.

**********

Today is the mini funeral for my baby that will take place at Khumalo’s since
they had already paid damages for the baby it’s traditionally “theirs”. I asked
that he be buried next to his grandfather and uncle eMandeni, I know that’s
what Lwa would’ve wanted.
“Makoti what’s his name?”, Bab’ Khumalo asks. Weirdly I had already named
him I just wanted to Lwa to approve on the name but I knew he would like it.
“Langalethu Zungu.” Bab’ Khumalo seems a bit surprised. I named him
Langalethu as a reminder to Lwa that his brothers memory will live on and also
because Langalethu was going to be the light in our lives just as his name says.
Thinking about all of thi is making me emotional, I wish Lwa was here just to
say his first and last hello to his son ... our son.

It’s midday and the mini funeral ceremony is over. I have asked Zweli to take
me to go see Lwa. I don’t know if I am ready to face him yet but I have to go

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say goodbye because I’m going back home with my mum, I won’t be able to go
back to that house it reminds me too much of Langalethu. I’m now sitting in
the visitor’s room waiting for Lwa, I am nervous and I honestly feel like getting
up and leaving. Yes maybe I should leave. Just as I get up, he walks in and I feel
my heart drop and it feels like blood has stopped pumping through my heart.
We exchange eye contact, then I quickly look down. We both sit and no one
says a word. I honestly don’t know what should be the first thing I say to him, I
feel tears running down my cheeks.
“I’m so sorry sthandwa sami maybe this would’ve never happened is I was
there”, he says. I’m still silent I don’t know what to say.
“How are you holding up?”
“I feel like I’m dead I feel like my whole life has been taken out of me and now
I’m just a body, I feel weak and I feel worthless. That’s how I’m feeling.”
“Babe please don’t think like that, I promise you everything will be ok.”
“But when Lwandile? Do you have any idea how painful it is to lose a life that
was growing inside you. I can’t help but feel that this was all my fault, maybe
theres something I didn’t do right”, tears start pouring out as I try to speak.
Lwa gets up to come hold me.
“No touching! Sboshwa return to your seat”, the officer instructs.
“We just lost a baby for crying out loud! Can we please just have a break!!”,
Lwa shouts out. The policeman goes silent and I hold on to him even tighter,
I’ve been in need of this.
“Sthandwa sami I do understand, this was my baby too. I feel so useless in your
life right now because I can’t be with you right now that you need me the
most. I’m sorry sthandwa sami for failing you and junior.” As he holds me
memories of when I was pregnant come back so I let go of him. He looks
concerned. I sit down and he also goes back to his seat.
“Langalethu was his name.”
“You named him Langalethu?” I nod. I can see him smile, a very tired and
weary smile but he smiles.
“Lwandile I actually came here to say goodbye, I’m going back home with uMa.
I need to heal from everything that has happened.” He lets out a huge sigh.
“Babe please stop pushing me away.”

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“I’m not I just need a break.”
“From what happened or from me?”
“From everything Lwa, I just can’t be here. Everything just reminds me of him. I
need time to find myself all over again.”
“Ntandokazi why does this sound like goodbye.”
“Thats because it is Lwandile but just for now.”
“Ntandokazi you can’t do this to me.”
“I love you Lwandile but I just need a break. I have to”, I get up to leave. My
heart is shattered but I need to do this for myself. Lwa takes the table that was
inbetween us and slams it against the wall. Tears roll down my eyes as I
actually come into terms with what has happened. I haven’t given up on
Lwandile but I feel like I’m to blame for losing Langa and I just feel like I’ve
taken away something that so valuble and that being a father. I can’t face him
right now, I can’t be with him.

Life took us from being strangers, to being soulmates, to almost being parent
and now to this part of our relationship. I love that man with my life but right
now our relationship is not good for me I can’t deal with stresses of losing a
baby and the stresses of him being in jail all at once it’s too overwhelming. At
least not right now.
 CHAPTER 13

It’s been two months now since when I lost Langalethu and I still remember it
like yesterday but now I have come to terms with it and I feel like I’m slowly
starting to regain sense of who I am. Lwa is still in jail, his case has been
running trail for the past two months. I still follow everything that happens just
from a distance, I will always love that man regardless of the situation I really
meant it when I said he is the love of my life. This weekend I am visiting Esihle
in Joburg, I needed a break from my academics. We are having Lunch at the
mall when I hear someone call my name. I look around and I can’t believe who
I see … it’s Nsika, I swear this guy is like the ghost of my past.
“Pleasure seeing you here, how long will you be in Joburg”, he says.
“Just for the weekend then I head back to Potch.”
“If that’s the case the can I take you out for dinner tonight?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I promise it’s just dinner if you get there and I annoy the life out of you then I
will bring you back home. That’s the only choice otherwise I won’t stop
pestering you till you agree.” Lord!! Save me from this guy.
“Ok fine but it’s just dinner and don’t get any funny ideas.”
“Ok mam, let me take your numbers then I will hit you up later.” We exchange
numbers. I can tell by the look in Esihle’s that she doesn’t like the idea of this
but it’s just dinner I don’t see anything bad happening.

It’s 6pm and we are back at Esihle’s place and I am getting ready to go out with
Nsika, he said he would be here in the next 15 minutes.
“Ntando are you sure about this?” Esihle asks.
“It’s nothing serious Esihle, it’s not like I’m going to have sex with the guy.
Everything will be fine.”
“It’s not that it’s you I don’t trust, it’s him. He just has this bad auora I can’t get
over.
“It’s just dinner Esihle I probably won’t even see him ever again. If make you
feel goo I will text you every hour for updates.” I get a text from my phone, it’s
Nsika he is outside.

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“I love you sis but I have to go.”
“I love you too but text me.”
“Will do.” I get to the car and this guy is drooling like a a dog who just saw a
bone.
“You look beautiful … scratch that you look sexy.”
“Thank you, where are we going to?”
“At some Italian resuturant around town.”
“Alright cool.” As he is driving he tries to place his hand on top of my thighs but
I remove it. Nobody has the right to do that but Lwandile … mhm Lwandile, a
smile comes to my face when I think about all the crazy things we have done
together. I swear tonight is bound to be awkward, the last guy I went out with
was Lwandile and I have never entertained anyone since.

We are at the restaurant and as anticipated my mind is somewhere else. I can’t

help but think how Lwandile would feel if he found out that I was here with
Nsika out of all people. I’m starting to think that maybe this was all just a bad
idea.
“Ntando are you ok? You’ve been too quiet.”
“I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.”
“And by a lot do you mean Lwa? You know Ntando you need to forget about
him and move on with your life, Lwandile is going to rot in jail.
“No he is not! I really don’t appreciate you talking about him like that and I will
not tolerate it. Last I remember you weren’t innocent either.”
“Ok ok I’m sorry then but can you please just give me some attention” This guy
is an asswhole.
“I’m here aren’t I?”
“Ok so I see you are not going to make this easy for me.” I really have a but
load of mean responses for this guy but I just don’t have the energy for him.

I’m back at Esihle’s place and thank god that the night is over. I just want to
take a bath and rest. I then get a text from Nsika.
“I had a beautiful night with you. I hope I get to see you again soon.” Definitely not going to
answer, I don’t want to be here giving this guy the wrong impression. It was

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just dinner, the very same dinner I didn’t actually want to go to in the first
place. As I lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling I can’t help but wonder how
Lwa is doing where he is and whether he is eating right and all that jazz. I still
talk to Nozuko and Nokbonga once in a while but they are not giving me the
information I want to hear I know that things might be worse then what they
say that they are. One thing is for sure though, I miss him and I miss us but it’s
not like I can just rock up in Durban to go see him.

**********

I’m back at Potch, I really had a great weekend with Esihle the break was well
deserved for both of us. For here being a journalist always as here on her feet
so needs a break once in a while. It’s just after 6pm and I’m at my place trying
to relax when I get a phone call from Nsika, I’m a bit hesitant to pick up but I
do.
“Hey”
“How are you doing beautiful?”
“I’m good and you?”
“I’m not good, I can’t stop thinking about you.” Yasuka inkathazo madoda ( my
problems begin)
“Ow don’t worry it will fade away.”
“I don’t think so, I’m obsessed. Right now I drove all the way to a place I don’t
know just to see you.” TF??? Whats wrong with this guy.
“You are kidding right?”
“No I’m now I’m roaming somewhere near your university please send me
your location so I can come see you.”
“Wtf??? No!!! How could you come here without asking for my permission
first.”
“I’m sorry I know I was wrong but please.” I click my tounge and drop the call. I
want him to come here so I can give him a piece of my mind. I send him my
location.
“I’m outside” he sends me a text.
I go outside and he is standing outside of the car, it reminds me of Lwa.

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“What the hell are you doing here? Nsika you are not my boyfriend so stop
acting like one. We had ONE DATE!! And let’s not forget that you are the one
that insisted on it. I don’t like you just showing up here.” While I give my
lecture the guy isn’t even bothered he is there just looking at me with a smile
on his face.
“What do you want??” I ask.
“You”, he answers. This guy thinks I’m outchea trying to play a game. I walk
away and he holds my hand to stop me.
“Ok I’m sorry Ntando, can you please let me have dinner with you again.” They
is no response from me.
“Please Ntando.” Gosh I can’t believe I’m going to actually agree to this.
“Ok FINE!!” I get in the car then we leave. We get to some restaurant in the
mall, they really sell nice steak. After giving our orders they is an awkward
silence between us. Like really awkward.
“I really do love you Ntando, you were my first true love and you will always
be.”
“Can we please not talk about that.”
“Ok beautiful.” The night goes by and to be honest it’s not as awkward as it
was a few nights ago. I’m even starting to participate in conversations and well
he is making me laugh. I actually can’t believe he is still the same guy I gave
myself to two years to, he seems more grown and focused. The night is over
and now I need to go back to my place. We are standing outside my place and I
have his jacket on my shoulders (yup we’ve been standing there for quiet some
time)
“So, I guess this is it”, I say.
“Yeah! I guess so, but I could always come back anytime if you miss you.” Aghh
niggar mustn’t play himself like that.
“What ever, good night. Here is your jacket.”
“No, it’s fine keep it.”
“No, it’s fine take it I don’t need it anymore.”
“No really keep it, I will take it when I see you again… hopefully soon.”
Whatever at this point I’m tired of going back and forward about this I will post
his jacket if I have to, I can see what he is doing he is trying to make an excuse

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for him to come back here well he must forget it. He looks at me as I walk away
and waits until I enter the premisis. He is weird.

**********

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and I just came back from my last class. I’m
exhausted and I’m mentally drained. In 2 weeks we are writing our semesters
and I’m kind of looking forward to them. I just want to be done with this
student life so that I can finally get my honours degree and start with my
articles. Thanks to all my mum’s connection it seems like I might have a
company that will take me next year. I’ve always wanted to have a life in Cape
Town, I have no specific reason but it’s something I’ve always wanted. I just
wish I could get a massage, my feet are killing me. For some reason today all I
could think about is Lwa and Langa. I still wear the beads he gave me it’s
something that reminds me of them so I can never give that up. I still love him,
infact I always will. I’ve decided to go to the place Lwa bought for me, today I
just miss him and that place has so much of him he was practically living there.
I get to the place and the moment I open the door I can smell his scent. The
kitchen reminds me of when I woke him up in the am’s because I was craving
red velvet cake. The lounge reminds me of all the times we would pillow fight
for the remote. The bedroom reminds me of all the love we made and the
study ... yes even the study reminds of the times we both had work to do and
we would keep stealing glances of each other just because we couldn’t get our
hands off each other. I’m sitting on the bed, holding on to Lwa’s shirts. I can’t
help but break down and cry. I miss the love of my life. Just as I am weak and
vunerable I get a phone call from Akhona.
“Hi.”
“Ntando are you crying?? Whats wrong sis??”
“I miss them Akhona.”
“Calm down Ntando. I know that it gets hard sometimes but you will always
feel like you miss Langa and its ok, its normal. As for Lwa you can always fix
things between you guys, I know he still loves you dearly and Zethu says he has
never seen Lwa so detached from himself. He needs you Ntando you should go

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see him.”
“I’m not too sure about that, he has responded to any of my letters. I need him
too but I’m not sure that going to see him now is the right thing.”
“You will never know unless you try. You loved this man Ntando. He should be
atleast worth the try.”
“He is, let me think about it.”
“Ok but please stop crying, you and Lwa were made for each other. I love you, I
will call you again later.”
“Ok bye. I love you too.” I just want to spend the whole night here, reminiscing
about my Lwa.

I’m woken up by my phone ringing, I must’ve fallen asleep. It’s Nsika.

“Hello”, I say with a sleepy voice.
“Hy, I’m sorry for waking you up.”
“It’s cool whatsup?”
“I was just missing you.” This guy has to be kidding.
“At midnight?”
“Yeah I just couldn’t sleep. Would you mind if I came there?” HAIBO!!!
“To do what?”
“To just see you, please Ntando.”
“It’s dangerous for you to drive at night you will come tomorrow.” Uhrm ok
that sort of slipped out.
“Ok I will see you tomorrow. It’s good to see that you still care.”
“Whatever.” Before I know it me and Nsika have been talking on the phone for
an hour and he is making me laugh like hell. I missed having him as a friend, he
is one person that used to understand me more then I understood myself.
Especially after such an emotional day, I needed this.

************

I honestly can’t wait to finish my studies and leave Potch I’ve really had
enough. I’m done with my first week of semester tests now I have one more
left with 1 more exams then I’m done. It’s a Friday and I’m just sitting at my
place watching a movie then I get a phone call from Nsika, me and him have

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been quiet close in the past two weeks but not that type of close but nje I feel
comfortable talking to him and he has sort of been my shoulder. Esihle still
doesn’t like him. I get a call from Nsika.
“Hey.”
“Hey Ntando, I miss you. Can I come see you today?”
“Yeah it’s cool.” A part of me is a bit excited but I don’t know why. All I know is
that Nsika has been good company to me so far.

Nsika gets here and we go out for dinner, movies and now we are out for
drinks. I am having a good time to honest, the last time I was this happy was …
ow Lwa. I hate how he creeps in my mind even at the oddest of times. Nsika
and I are at Sports Lounge, am I am starting to get tipsy and Nsika seems
drunk. I am enjoying myself so much, I needed to just let loose.
“Should we leave?” he asks. I nod. I really need to go rest so I can wake up and
study tomorrow. On our way home he misses the off turn and Nsika hits the
N12 highway. I am started to get worried now, where the hell are we going?
“Nsika take me back home now!! Where are we going?”
“Johanesburg, I will bring you back in the morning.” Lapho nigga is so chilled,
he doesn’t see any wrong in what he is doing.
“Slow down!!!!!” It is obvious this guy is drunk he is driving too fast. A part of
me is panicking I know Nsika is only doing this because he is drunk. Yazi I just
got sober same time, a lot is going through my mind.
“No I want to go back home now!!!!!” I say shouting.
“Your shouting doesn’t scare me. Relax Ntando I will bring you back in the
morning.” I just keep quiet, I clearly have no other options besides jumping out
of a moving car.

We get to Nsika’s apartment, it’s a nice bachelor flat. But I’m still not at ease, I
don’t want to sleep here, I can’t sleep here. I try to call Esihle but nothing she
must be fast asleep, it’s 2am vele. Let me send her a text.
“I’m at Nsika’s place. First thing in the morning please come fetch me, I will send you the location.
Help!  I don’t want to be here. “
I really don’t want to be here.

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“I’m not going to share a bed with you, I will sleep on the couch.” He comes
close to me as I say that then he kisses me, I push him back.
“What are you doing??” He doesn’t listen then tries putting his hand under my
shirt but I push him away.
“What are you doing???”
“Come on Ntando, just relax” Haibo this guy must not dare me, I start getting
nervous. He comes closer again I keep going back till I reach a wall.
“Nsika please stop. I don’t want this.” He doesn’t listen to me, I can’t believe
this. He attemps to put his hand under my shirt.
“No Nsika haw! Leave me alone.” Tears start rolling down my eyes, I can’t stop
thinking ... what if he rapes me. He pins my hands on the wall and starts kissing
my neck, I can’t let this happen. He carries me up and puts me on the couch
then presses himself on me with his hands pressed on my arms, it hurts. I can’t
move, he is kissing my neck and I am crying. I can’t believe he is actually going
to force himself on me. He stops tightens his hands on my arms even more.
“NTANDO!!!” he shouts out my name. I am scared.
“Ngyakcela Nsika please just let me go. Please don’t do this.” He lets go of me,
I look at my arms and I have marks as if I was beaten that’s how tight he was
holding me. I can’t belive this just happened. He goes to lock the door and
takes the keys with him.
“Nsika open the door I want to leave!” he says nothings.
“Nsika OPEN THE DOOR!!!” he stands and just looks at me.
“Stop annoying me.”
“NSIKA OPEN…” What happens next I didn’t expect. He slaps me. I feel myself
freeze for a moment. Even my own father has never layed a hand on me, how
dare he. Tears roll down my face. He continues to walk to his room. So I have
no choice but to say in this house, I’m broken and shocked I don’t know
whether he will try this again maybe that’s why he doesn’t want me to leave.
I’m shaking, I’m terrified my worst nightmare almost became a reality, how
could Nsika do this to me. He was never like this, what made him into this
monster? I just thank God that my tears have just saved me. I don’t see myself
sleeping, I just have to sit and wait until he opens the door so I can leave.

It’s early in the morning, I must’ve fell asleep. I quickly check if I still have my

250
clothes on, thank god. I can hear Nsika talking in the with some man in another
room. I want to leave now!!!! I head to the room which I can hear the voices
come from, the door is slightly open. Just as I was about to open the door I
can’t believe who I see, it’s the judge that is handleing Lwa’s case. It’s either
something very fishy is going on here or this is just a coincidence. I stand at the
door and listen.
“I can hear what you are saying but his lawyer has a pretty strong argument. It
doesn’t look too good”, the judge says.
“Listen!! I paid you a lot of money for this and I’m willing to pay a whole lot
more, I just want you to put Lwandile Zungu in jail for a very long time. Why is
this so difficult for you to do.” I can’t believe what I’m hearing with my ears so
it was Nsika all along. But it makes sense he knew everything, shipment dates
and all so it really was him but Why?? How could he do such a cruel thing?? I
am so shocked and angry that I don’t even have any tears in system. I continue
to listen.
“Nsika they are procedures I need to follow but I will try with all I can. Yoh!
Whatever this guy did to to you it must be pretty deep to want him out of your
way so badly.”
“Keep me posted” The judge gets up from his chair. That is my cue to run and
pretend like I’m still sleeping. A part of me feels like strangling the life out of
him but I know I have to pretend like I didn’t hear anything. I am bitter. The
Nsika I once knew was not like this, the person who I know now is consumed
by jealousy, anger, violence and hatered. I have a lot going on my mind but one
thing is certain, I need to go to Durban today. I can hear Nsika close the door.
I’m so mad. A few minutes later they is a knock on the door.
“NTANDOKAZI!!!”, I hear someone scream out. That sounds like Esihle I get up
and run to her. I can barely even look at Nsika, they are no words to describe
how I feel right now but I know that it’s enough for him to kill him like the pig
he is. I leave with Esihle, without saying even a word to him. As Esihle and I are
in the car I can’t help but think about everything that happened last night and
the conversation I overheard, the more I think about it is the more I get
furious.
“Ntando what happened? You are starting to scare me.”
“I will explain everything just not now. I need to take a shower, we need to go

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to Durban today.” She says nothing and continues driving, my sisters know that
when I get this mad it’s best not to ask me too many questions otherwise all
hell will break loose.

**********

We are outside Westville prison, I am nervous. This was our first stop as soon
as we got to Durban. I don’t know what I am going to say to Lwa when I see
him but one thing is for sure he needs to know. I can’t let the man I love rot in
here while that asswhole enjoys his freedom. Esihle can see that I’m hesitant
to go in.
“Relax mntase everything will be ok.”
“I just don’t know how he will react when he see’s me.”
“He still loves you Ntando so trust me it won’t be as bad as you think.” I really
hope and pray that everything will go as Esihle says that it will.

I’m now at the visitor’s area, I’m anxiously waiting for Lwa to come. I can feel
50 emotions run through me all at once. He then walks in, he looks different
for one he is a bit more masculine but it doesn’t look like he has any life in him.
He looks like me when I lost Langalethu, like he has given up on life. He
becomes shocked when he see’s me. I actually want to run up to him and hug
him but I know I can’t do that. As he slowly comes towards me, I feel myself
getting emotional. This is him, this is still the love of my life, ubaba ka
Langalethu, he is broken but this is him.
“MaMthimkhulu”, he calls out. I look at him with my teary eyes, isithandwa
sami.
“Manzini.”
“I never thought I would see you again.” Those words right there cut deep in
my heart.
“Ngyaxolisa Manzini.”
“For what?”
“Being selfish, when we lost Langalethu the only thing I thought about was
myself and I didn’t consider your feelings. Ngyaxolisa Manzini for not

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considering how must’ve felt losing a child, not being at his funeral, dealing
with being here and also having me turn my back on you. Even at times when I
felt like writing you pages and pages of letters I never knew what were right
word’s for me to say. I failed you.” Tears roll down my eyes as I explain. He lets
out a huge sigh.
“I am the one who failed you MaMthimkhulu, as a man I couldn’t be there for
you and Langalethu. I put too much on your shoulders and you couldn’t carry
that weight. Musa ukhala MaMthimkhulu I understand what you were going
through.” I wipe my tears, I need to be strong right now.
“How are you holding up?”
“To be honest since I lost you and Langalethu nothing makes sense anymore.
The trial is dragging for longer than I expected and we have tried absolutely
everything and now I’m starting to actually lose hope.” I start playing around
with my deaded band, I do that when I am anxious.
“You still have that?”
“I’ve never taken it off.” He tries to hide a smile.
“MaMthimkhulu what’s bothering you?” My other half, he still knows that
something is bothering me before I can even show it.
“I have something to tell you.” He listens attentively, like he knows I am about
to tell him something big.
“Nsika, he is the reason why you and your brothers are here.”
“What do you mean?”
“He is the one who tipped of the police and he is the one bribing the judge
prosecuting your case.” I don’t like Lwa sitting in front of me, right now I
know all hell is about to break loose.
“And how do you know this.” Eyy saaan!! Well I have to come clean.
“Well I…”
“KHULUMA!!!” he says banging on the table. I get the shock of my life, I feel
like Lwa is going to beat the black out of me and none of these police will do
anything about it.
“Well I slept at his place yesterday but it’s not what you think. It wasn’t …”
“Leave”, he says with a low voice.
“But Lwandile I promise I would never …”

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“HAMBA!!!”, he says again banging on the table grabbing everyone’s attention.
As the police come to warn him he gets up and leaves. Everyone is now
starring at me sitting there scared and in tears. I knew telling him this would
come with consequences but this is not what I imagined. I have no idea how
useful this information could be to them but hopefully this information will
help them someway. I get back to the car where Esihle is waiting for me. She
doesn’t say anything but she just hugs me, I guess the hurt I am feeling is
written all over my face.
“Now talk to me and tell me what happened? From the beginning.” I take a
huge breath, then I start telling her all the details, from the fact that me and
Nsika have been close from when I left Joburg, to what happened last night to
what I heard this morning and finally to what happened right now between me
and Lwa.
“Yoh mntase, I am speechless.” I would be too if I were her.
“You were right Esihle I should’ve never went out on that date and now look at
where we are.”
“But then Ntando if you never went on that date you would’ve found out that
he is the one who framed Lwa, Shaka and Zethu. Everything happens for a
reason, don’t beat yourself up for it. I just can’t believe that asswhole hit you
and almost took advantage of you and I was sleeping. I’m sorry mantase.”
“It’s not your fault. Thank you for just coming when you did.” She smile’s and
we hug again.
“Lwa is under a lot of strain right now and him finding out that you spent the
night at that asswholes place isn’t exactly the cherry on top. He loves you and
when the time is right and hopefully when it’s not too late he will realize this.”
“I hope so too.”

Esihle and I just got to my uncle’s place, he is shocked to see us walk in.
“Haw boMshana what are you doing here?” Esihle and I really didn’t think this
through, it’s not holidays so we can’t make that as an excuse.
“I had a meeting here in Durban and I asked Ntando to come with me, I
thought I would be able to drive but Joburg is far plus I have to pass by Potch
to leave Ntando”, Esihle. He seems convinced.

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“Alright makes yourselves at home.” Pweeeh thank God. I hope he doesn’t tell
my mum about this we don’t need to explain ourselves to another person, not
now at least. As we try and relax I can’t help but think about Langalethu, phela
the last time I was in Durban was when I lost him. I want to go see his
thombstone. Esihle has passed out on the sofer so I steal her car keys and
leave. It’s just after 5pm and the sun is starting to set, it a beautiful spring. I
walk until I get to the Zungu Thombstones and there it’s written:
“You were take away before we got to meet you but you will always live in our hearts. Langalethu
Zungu.”
I start to get emotional as I keep reading these words over and over again. I
start to remember it all, the day we first officially met, the day he asked me to
be his, our first date, our first kiss, the first day we first had sex, the day he
found out I was pregnant right through the preganancy. Langalethu’s father
was never a perfect nor did he ever try to hide it but he always did all he could
to make me happy, I can’t just give up because he got mad at something I
shouldn’t of done in the first place. I love that man with all my being and I
won’t stop trying to get to him eventually he will have to listen to me. For a
moment there I admit I was entertaining Nsika but I didn’t mean any harm by
it. I would never love or even sleep with another man my heart, body and soul
belong’s to Lwandile.

**********

It’s a Sunday and I woke up and cooked. I want to go see Lwa. I need to explain
to him what happened so that he doesn’t over think the wrong thing. I’m
dressing up when Esihle comes into the bedroom. She takes my arms and
starts to inspect them. I forgot that those marks from Nsika pressing on me are
still visible. I can see her face start to change, that asswhole did this to you? I
nod. It’s really not that much of a big deal I’m just glad that nightmare is over, I
don’t want to keep reminding myself of it.
“Esihle calm down, it’s nothing I’m ok.”
“That bastard will pay for this.” I honestly also hope that he does.
“Let it go Sis. Will you go see Shaka today?” She nods, I can tell her mind is still

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on these brusis I have on my arms.
We get to Westville and Esihle and I are impatiently waiting waiting to see
Shaka, Zethu and Lwa. The police officers walk in with Shaka and Zethu only.
“Sorry Nkosazana but uLwandile doesn’t want any visitors today”, the police
officer says. I can feel my heart sink.
“Sorry Ntando, we tried talking to him but he wasnt having it”, Shaka.
“It’s fine I will give him some space.” We talk and talk but from our
conversation I pick up that Shaka nad Zethu don’t know yet that it was Nsika
who is to blame for all of this. Shaka is still his normal forward and entertaining
self the Zethu is still his shy self, of which I find weird I thought prision woud
open him up a little. I guess it might not be as bad as how movies make it out
to be. Visting time is over and its time for us to separate.
“We brought you guys this.” I had them the plastic with lunch boxes packed
with a full Sunday course meal.
“Who cooked?” Shaka asks.
“Ntando did”, Esihle answers. He smiles and looks at me.
“Don’t worry we will make sure he gets it and he eats.” Lol Shaka though. We
all laugh. To be honest I’m glad he gave me that assurance, phela he is the
reason why I cooked in the first place. We say our goodbyes and that’s that.

**********

It’s Tuesday and I am still in Durban. Esihle left yesterday because she has work
and I asked my friends to send me my books so that I can study this side.
Luckily my uncle didn’t see a problem because vele I’m writing on Friday. That
works out well for me because I’m not going anywhere until Lwa agrees to see
me. Yesterday I went there and still got rejected, I had cooked Lunch for them
so I gave it to the officer to give it to them. I’m now on my way there and I
won’t give up, I just need him to give me a chance to just talk to him. I get to
Westville and the guards are used to me now, we make small talk as they
search my bag and the food then they send me through. Right now I’m ready
for anything but if he doesn’t see me today he must just make peace with the
fact that I will come again to see him tomorrow. Just as I was about to leave
the police officer comes in with him, I get a bit excited but I am nervous at the

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same time. He sits down and he doesn’t say a word, it’s my cue to speak.
“Listen if you don’t want to be with me then it’s fine ok but I don’t want the
reason for that to be because of what you think happened between me and
Nsika. Yes me and Nsika were getting close…” I see him clench his fist’s but I’m
not shaken by it.
“But only as friends. He was there when I needed one. Then on Friday after we
were coming back from a club he drove to Johanesburg without my consent. I
tried to reason with him to take me to my place but he wasn’t having it. We
got to his place…” I start to get emotional, my voice is shakey and I want to
break down and cry. I’m no longer looking at him but my head is now bowed, I
can sense him calm down as he see’s me like this.
“We got to his place and he kissed me, when I tried to push him back he kept
on persisting trying to force himself on me. I couldn’t help but break down and
cry then he pressed his hands on my arms, I couldn’t move.”, I say rubbing my
arms and looking the brusies on them.
“I kept trying to reason with him to stop but he kept on forcing himself I said
nothing I just cried then he left me alone. He locked the door and when I was
begging him to open it so I can leave he … he … he slapped me. He went to bed
and I was on the couch still just there crying.” He lets out a huge sigh he is mad
all over again, but it’s worse. He still hasn’t said a word. I then tell him about
what happened in the morning and what I heard. I stop being emotional and I
get mad just plain fucken mad, I HATE NSIKA.
“Ngyaxolisa Manzini for ever hurting you and betraying you. I regret ever
leaving your side and ever letting Nsika come back to my life. But Lwandile I
would never give another man what I reserve only for you. I love you with all I
am and I have made some stupid mistakes and I am sorry. But at the end I’m
just glad that you now know and hopefully this will help you get out of here. I
wish all the best going forward and no matter what just know that
ngyakthanda Lwandile.” As I get up to leave he holds my hand. Tears roll down
my cheeks.
“I’m not going to let you go. I made that mistake of letting you walk out once
I’m not doing it again.” I hold on to his hand, I’m happy he just said that I didn’t
want to leave.
“That bastard layed his hands on you, he hurt you, he made you cry and he put

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my brothers here. It’s another thing for him to mess with me but he took it a
step further by messing with my family. Ntandokazi I am mad at you for letting
that dog in your life when I had told you to stay away from him and that’s the
only reason, I know that you would never give my goodies to another man. A
part of me wanted to give up on us totally and forget about you but then as
much as it disgusts and hurts me to say this I’ve just realized if you didn’t go
with that bastard I would’ve probably never found out it was him, I was
probably going to rot in jail. Ngyakthanda MaMthimkhulu but if you ever let
another man in your life again, friend or not ngizonifaka inhlamvu nobabili (I
will shoot both of you).” Did he just threaten me? And I have a feeling he
actually meant it.
“Ngyaxolisa Manzini but still how are you going to get out of here?”
“The less you know, the better but I have a plan. As soon as you walk out of
here call Zweli and tell him to come here now.” I nod. I’ve gotten used to the
fact that I’m a dating a dangerous and powerful man and trust me he is right
the less I know the better.
“Manzini?”, I call out.
“Yebo MaMthimkhulu?”
“I love you and I promise this will never ever happen again. Ow and I have this
for you.” I say handing him three lunch boxes full of food. He smiles.
“Thats for you, Shaka and Zethu.”
“Hayi these days umuntu udla kamnandi, thank you MaMthimkhulu and I love
you too.” Wow those words, it hits the spot to hear him say that he loves me. I
now have to go, our time has run out. Today I leave Westville Prision on a high
note and trust me I’m sure that doesn’t happen everyday but I have every righ
to be happy phela I have the love of my life back. Now I have to call Zwe just as
I’ve been instructed.

***********

It’s a Wednesday afternoon. I received a call from Lwa telling me that Zwe will
come pick me up and take me to the house in Umhlanga then he will call when
we get there. I’m curious I don’t know what we are going to do there but I
didn’t ask questions I just agreed. I really wanted to go see him, I miss him but

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ke I have to do whatever that he wants me to do for him. I get a text from Zwe,
he is outside so I go to him. As we are on our way to Umhlanga he keeps
making small talk asking me about school and all of that jazz.
“What are we going to do at Umhlanga?” He clears his throat. Gosh these men
have such a tell when they are about to lie, I remember I used to think it was
only Lwa but Zwe and Shaka do exactly do exactly the same thing when they
are about to either avoid the question or lie and they are bad liers on top of
that maybe it’s something they picked up from Bab Khumalo who knows.
“Let’s wait, Lwa will tell you once we get there.” Mcm he isn’t much help yazi.

We get to Umhlanga and the moment we get inside the house Zwe’s phone
rings he talks for a while then hands the phone to me. It must be Lwa
“Sthandwa sam”, I say.
“Go upstairs to our bedroom and when you get to there Zwe will hand you a
ladder, open the last shelve of the wardrobe and you will see a safe. Look at
the beads you are wearing on the left and right end you will see 2 small
numbers, thats the password.” I do just as he says as I’m looing at my beaded
wrist band I can’t believe I‘ve never noticed these numbers but they are so
small its easy for you to miss them. I open the safe and I have never seen so
much money in my life. Lwa is still on the phone as I do all of this.
“Ntando are you still there?” he asks for the second time. I was still having my
freeze moment, this is a lot of money.
“Yes I’m still here what next?”
“Empty half of that safe, put that money in a suitcase. Give Zwe R100000 and
then you will leave with the rest tomorrow when you go to Potch and I will
come fetch it.” He will come fetch it???? What does that mean?? How am I
supposed to carry around so much money. I’m seriously panicking.
“Haibo Lwa I can’t, what if they steal it? How will you come fetch this money?”
“Sthandwa sami themba mina just do as I say. Give Zwe my tracksuit and some
sneakers.”
“Baby please don’t do anything that will get you into more trouble.”
“I won’t just trust me. I have to go now, I love you.”
“I love you too.” I hand back the phone to Zwe. We pack the money and Zwe
takes the money he is supposed to take. I want to ask him ukuthi what exactly

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is going on but I know he won’t tell me but I’m worried. I have a bad feeling
about this, I know Lwa wouldn’t escape from jail knowing exactly whats at risk
but at the same time the words ‘I will come fetch it worry me’. But I have to
trust in him just as he said. Zwe takes me back home and to my luck my uncle
isn’t back from work yet. I can’t help but think about Lwa, I wish I could go see
him at least so that I can say goodbye I miss him. I hate this thing of us not
being able to see each other whenever we want to, it sucks.

***********

Yeyi!!! I’m officially done with my paper this marks the half way mark next it’s
my final exams then I am done with North West University. It’s a Friday so me
and the girls are going out for celebratory drinks. Since recess is only going to
be for a week I am not going back home, I will see them November when I
finish with my finals. When I came back from Durban yesterday I came directly
to the place Lwa bought for me, I feel like it’s better if I keep the money here
it’s safer. I’m here right now doing some cleaning with Metro fm on full blast, I
don’t know why but it just gives me motivation when I clean.

“Breaking News! Today they was another drug bust in Johanesburg. After a road block
that was done in Johanesburg today cocaine worth half a million rand was found in a
man’s boot. The man is now under police custody and is awaiting trial”

Right now if it were a year ago I would’ve probably been happy that at least
our justice system is not as useless but right now it’s difficult because the man I
love is in this business and in jail because of it. I will never approve of what Lwa
does for a living but I love him so it’s not easy. My phone rings, it’s my brother.
“Bro”, I say in excitement. I miss him it’s been a while. I didnt even tell him that
I was in Durban and that’s because he was going to ask me too many questions
I was not willing to answer.
“Mntaka ma how are you holding up?”
“I’m ok bro, how are you?”
“I’m ok. My sources tell me that you and Lwandile are goo again is it true?”
Right now I don’t know how he will react to this.

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“Yes and before you can even judge me Olwethu you need to understand that I
love Lwandile. I can’t just give up on that.” He lets out a huge sigh.
“I wasn’t going to judge you but Ntandokazi but are you sure about this? What
if Lwa doesn’t come out of jail? What then?”
“I know that you are worried but Olwethu I am positive that Lwa will win the
case. I know right now things don’t seem good but I have faith. I love that man
and if you are asking me what I will do if things don’t go the way I want, well
that won’t change anything but I don’t even want to think like that.” He lets
out a sigh again. I know that he is worried about me but he is my big brother
it’s bound to happen.
“I can see your mind is set on this. You must really love this guy for you to
talking like this I hope he realizes what he has otherwise I would need to beat
it into him.” I giggle, Olwethu can be silly sometimes.
“I know bro you would bro. Thanks for worrying but don’t worry everything is
going to be ok.”
“Ok if you say so. I love you sis.” Nchooo shweet.
“I love you too.” I guess I really did kind of need to talk to my brother but I am
sure about Lwandile, I love him and our love is just enough.

***********

It’s a Thursday afternoon and I am in the kitchen cooking (the second flat), I
don’t know why but today I am just in the mood to cook good food, enjoy it
with a glass of champagne and just watch a few great movies. This reminds me
of Lwa, we used to do this when we don’t feel like going out. Gosh the Lord
knows that I miss him so much. He has been calling me everyday since I came
back from Durban but oddly today he hasn’t called at all day but I hope he
does. It’s bad enough not seeing him and not being able to touch him but him
not calling just makes everything worse. I have my beautiful dinner and watch
3 movies then I go to bed, Lwa didn’t call but I know that he will call tomorrow.

I’m woken up from my sleep by that feeling you get when you can feel that
someone is just starring at you. I open my eyes to see a tall man standing in
front of me, I get the shock of my life then he quickly closes my mouth before I

261
can scream.
“Sthandwa sami it’s me, calm down it’s me.” Fuck, it’s Lwandile. I hold on to
him.
“You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“I know babe I’m sorry. I wanted to wake you up but you looked so peaceful in
your sleep I didn’t want to disturb.” As he speaks reality kicks in.
“Lwandile what are you doing here????How did you get here???? The Police!!!
Baby did you escape from …” He disturbs me by kissing me. That kiss yall, that
kiss that just hit’s the g-stop. I can’t help but enjoy it I missed him, I missed his
lips, I missed his touch I missed being able to hold him, I just miss being a part
of him. He starts to undress me, I’m just laying there defeated ready for him to
just devour me and he does just that. He is fucking me …. HARD!!!! We both
needed this my body is just giving in. I can’t believe it’s actually been three
months since we had sex, the thirst has been real. I feel shock all over my
body, I’m about to cum.
“I LOVE YOU LWANDILE!!”, I shout out just as I cum. That was goooood. He
kisses my forehead then pulls me to his chest … my sanctuary. We both just lay
there without saying a word, still just caught in our world.
“Baby are you going to tell me now whats going on?”
“Babe I told you to trust me, I will let you know but just not now.” Gosh I don’t
think I can take this anymore.
“Don’t you trust me?!!” He lets out a huge sigh.
“Sthandwa sami I do and you know that but this is complicated. Look I have to
go, I don’t have much time I still need to get to Joburg and make it back to
Durban and in my cell before 7am.” I really don’t know what’s going on but it
doesn’t seem like Lwa will give in to me anytime soon. I just need to trust in
him just as he says and hopefully I will get the answers to my questions soon.
He gets up to dress while I go dish him up some food in the kitchen, I left the
money on top of the bed. He comes to the kitchen and we just hold each
other, I don’t know how long it will take before I can be in his arms again but I
will wait.
“Take this”, he says handing me a huge stack of money. I look at it and then
back him, then I hold him again.
“I don’t want the money, I want you.” He lets out a huge sigh and then kisses

262
me. I have never been good with goodbyes and with Lwa things are just worse.
“I’m not giving you this money because it will replace me but use it to spoil
yourself so that you don’t have to think about all of this, ngyakwazi phela wena
and your overthinking.” I still feel it’s too much money so I take a quarter of it
and I give the rest back to him. He gives me those ‘wtf are you doing’ eyes.
“What I’ve taken is more then enough baby. Use the rest of it for yourself.” He
kisses me once more and then squeezes me tight.
“From here I’m going back to Westville prision after tonight and money is
useless in jail. So just take it.” He places the money. He walks out with the bag
of money and the luchbox I made for him.
“Lwa!!”, I scream out softly as he walks down the stairs. He stops and looks at
me.
“I love you and be safe.”
“I love you more.” Then just like that he drives off in a car I don’t know. I’m
worried about him no doubt but all I can do now is to just wait.

It’s in the morning, I’m anxiously looking at my phone because if Lwa was able
to make it back in time he would’ve called me. I can’t stop listing all the
possible bad outcomes, what if something happened to him? What if he got
caught???? But know I need to stay positive. As I’m pacing up and down I get a
call from Esihle, I feel my head getting light. This can not be good.
“Sis whats wrong?”, I ask anxiously.
“Well Hello to you too.” Eish I didn’t mean to sound rude.
“Sorry Sis it’s just that I’m a bit edgy. Are you ok?”
“Yes I am great you won’t believe what I am about to tell you!” If it was
something about bad about Lwa I doubt she would be sounding this excited, so
clearly something has her in good spirits.
“Whats up?”
“That asshole Nsika got arrested last weekend apparently they was a roadblock
and they found a huge stash of cocaine in his boot, this was all over the media.
I didn’t know it was him until a collegue of mine who is running the story told
me about it. His bail hearing was yesterday and he was denied bail and trust
me that asshole deserves it after all the shit he has done.” Hayi no I’m no
sangoma but I tell you this has Lwa written all over him but how??? He has

263
been in jail the entire time. I’m confused and I have a lot on mind but I feel no
remorse for Nsika he deserves it.
“Ntando are you still there??” Esihle asks after a few seconds of silence
between us.
“Yeah I’m still here sorry I was still thinking. Are you sure about this?”
“Yes definitely. I hope you are not feeling some type of way about this because
if you are I would need to come there and knock some sense into you.”
“Hell no, he deserves it. Listen Sis I have to go, thanks for telling me this.” I
really don’t have to go but I want to keep the line clear incase Lwa decides to
call he has some explaining to do.

It’s the afternoon and Lwa still hasn’t called called. I’m more worried then I
was in the morning with a whole lot more on my mind since I have a bit of a
picture of what might be going on. I feel like right now a call from Lwa just to
say he is ok will take care of atleast half of my worries, the rest of the
questions on my mind can be answered later on. As I am lost in my thoughts
my phone rings, I jump it has to be him.
“Hello”, I answer it on the second ring.
“Sthandwa sami I am ok, I’m sorry for taking so long to call you. I know you
must’ve been worried sick about me.” I let out a huge sigh, I am relieved that
he is ok but now I’m mad if he knew that I’m worried then why didn’t he call?
But for now I won’t bring that up.
“You scared me Manzini”, I say with what sounds like a teary voice. I can feel
all types of emotions running in me right now. I don’t know how to feel exactly.
“I know babe I’m sorry. I almost got caught so I was under surveillance but
don’t worry about that. Did you have a good day?” Niyangizwisa yini? How
could he disappear on me like that and ask me if I had a good day whats good
about that.
“No haw Lwa I was in this house the whole day worrying about you, whats
good about a day like that?” He lets out a huge sigh.
“Babe but I told you not to worry about me.” This guys is crazy, he says that as
if he would do that if he were in my shoes. I think this is the best time to ask
him about the truth since I know he is ok now.
Nsika was arrested last week, do you have any hand in it?” He clears his voice,

264
see what I mean about them having a tell.
“Don’t lie to me or try to change the subject,” I say before he answers me. He
goes silent for a moment I know he is trying to gather his thoughts.
“I did what needed to be done. Every dog has its day Ntando and his was long
over due, I should’ve killed him when I had the chance.” I feel my heart beating
faster as he says this, something in me tells me he means every word he is
saying and that makes me nervous. Sometimes Lwa says things with so much
hatered I find it hard to believe that this is the man I am inlove with. It scares
me but it doesn’t make me love him any less and I think that’s what scares me
the most. I’m silent for a moment while I process what he just said.
“Im sorry babe I shoudn’t of said that to you”, he says trying to break the
awkward silence.
“What were you going to do in Joburg with so much money?”
“That babe I can’t discuss over the phone. Listen I have to go ok? I love you and
once again don’t worry about me.”
“We both know that’s impossible. I love you too.” This phone call has ended
but still dololo the answers I wanted to get. Lwa has an art of avoiding
questions but anyways at least now that I know that everything is ok I can put
most of my worries at ease.

**********

Note today marks the the stupidest decision I have ever made since I met Lwa.
This could mess us up for good but I just need to do this for closure. I have
been seeing the man I love has been behind jail bars for almost 3 months now
because of Nsika and I need to know why he did it. It’s a Saturday morning and
I am in Johanessburg on my way to see Nsika in jail, nobody knows about this
except me. I know that this is stupid but my questioning mind won’t be at ease
until I know why Nsika did what he did. I get to the prision where he is being
held and to be honest I could positively say this place suits him. He walks in
with a Police officer dragging him in with handcuffs. I can barely recognize him,
his face is swollen you can tell that he was badly beaten. He looks surprised to
see me.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.

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“How does it feel to be in the other side?”
“I won’t be here for long.”
“Mhm funny how I assumed the same thing about Lwa. Its amazing how much
of a bitch karma can be.” He looks confused, he doesn’t answer.
“Tell me why did you do it? You and Lwa were friends why did you have to
betray him like that?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Don’t play dumb with me I know that you are the reason he is in there the
first place.” I can see him calculating everything with his face then finally he
looks at me with his eyes wide open in disbelief.
“You heard us talking?” Bingo! He isn’t as much of an idiot as I though he was.
“I want to know why Nsika? Do you have any idea how painful it was to lose a
baby and not have the only person who understands your pain and what you
are going through be there to heal with you.”
“Baby??!!” He asks in shock
“So you didn’t know? Lwa and I were expecting to have a child.” He stares at
the table for a while then looks back at me.
“I did what I did to teach your boyfriend a lesson, he walks around acting as if
he is God. He beat up for wanting a woman that was mine to begin with, he
publicly embarrassed me and ruined my reputation so whatever that he got he
deserved it and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again given the opportunity. Now
since you are his messenger tell him that I’m coming for him, he came in here
to beat me up again ukuthi how he escaped from jail I don’t know but I will find
out and I will make sure he says there for good. And you are just as much as a
prick that he is for telling him that I tried forcing myself on you when we know
damn well we both wanted that.” I can’t believe he just said that, I never gave
Nsika any hints that I might be interested in him that way so what gives him
the right to think that I wanted to have sex with him. I’m feeling all mixed
emotion I’m mad but then again I’m emotional because he might be right, I
should’ve never welcomed him back in my life again.
“What did you just say??”
“You heard me well. Ow and lastly tell him that I said that he won’t get what
he wants. I will get out of here and he will pay for everything.” He gets up and
leaves before I can even get a word out. I wonder what changed him, he was

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never this cold and heartless before. Now he is some sort of monster, he is
definitely not the guy I gave myself to three years ago. I get up and leave, there
is a lot on my mind, the things Nsika said about him not doing what Lwa wants
and all of that Jazz has me thinking about what Lwa’s plan actually is. I’m
conflicted. I’m finally back at Potch, then my phone rings. It’s probably Lwa, I
hesitate to answer the phone but then I do.
“Baby”
“Sthandwa sami, how are you?”
“Lwandile please explain to me whats going on?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Did you frame Nsika?” He goes silent for a while.
“My final hearing is next Friday are you coming?”
“You haven’t asked my question!”
“Yes I did Ntando. Now answer mine.” He says it with such calm and ease
engathi it’s a good thing but I don’t care honestly Nsika can go to hell for all I
care.
“You don’t even have to ask me that.” I really want to dig deeper but I won’t
he will tell me when the time comes. We have our usual conversation him
paying no mind to the fact that he framed my ex, escaped from prison to give
him a good hiding and Lord knows what else. I am definitely not going to tell
him I went to see Nsika that is a big no, no. We exchange our I love you’s and
we say our goodbyes. I really miss him, that one night of passion a few days
ago and me being able to be held by him for a couple of minutes was not
enough at all. I need him.

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 CHAPTER 14

I am very nervous, today is Lwa’s final hearing is today. I am anxious, very

anxious but no matter what happens I will stick by his side. He me me
yesterday and told me not to worry because he has things sorted out but to be
honest I have no idea what that means plus I can’t not worry about him.
Sources told me that Nsika is not coping in jail at all apparently he was in
hospitals in the past 2 days because he was stabbed … Karma though. I’m at
court with Ma and Bab’ Khumalo, Ma and Bab’ Dlamini, Zwe, Mbali as well as
Akhona. The Dlamini’s now know about Akhona and they love her to death,
Ma Dlamini and her even have dates together that Zethu isn’t invited to. The
corrupt Judge walks in and the hearing starts.
“In the past weeks we have heard the cases of both parties. I have concluded
that Shaka Khumalo, Zethu Dlamini and Lwandile Zungu are not guilty on the
charges of cocaine smuggling that they were faced with. Court dismissed.”
Wait did I hear that right?? Lwa is coming out?? I freeze. Everyone around me
is rejoicing, I’m just shocked. They uncuff them and then they come to us.
Akhona and I let them have their little family moment. I can’t believe it, tears
start rolling down my eye, he looks at me and smiles then comes to me. I just
hug him, I’m so happy.
“I told you to trust me”, he says holding me tight. I want to kiss him but I can’t
with the parents here. We look at each other in the eye and I can see that he is
happy, but he has every right atleast now he can go back to the comfort of his
life.
“I love you.” I say to him.
“I love you more.” Gosh I have been longing and praying for this day. Akhona
and Zethu also have their own moment. We all leave to have breakfast, the
boys could do with a good proper meal.

Lwa and I are back at Umhlanga, I remember that the last time we were here
together was the morning when he was arrested. He goes to take a hot shower
and I am walk around the house remembering all the beautiful memories we
shared in this house. I go to our room and as I open one of the wardrobe
shelves I see the baby clothes we bought for Langalethu and I just look at them

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and for the first time since I lost him I don’t feel like crying.
I feel Lwa hug me from behind, I missed this.
“We will still have many more babies sthandwa sami, I know that you are still
heart broken from Langalethu and I still am as well but we will heal together. I
am here now.” I hold him tighter, I know that he is right.
“Maybe I should donate these clothes to charity.”
“If that’s what you want then its fine.”
“I’m sorry Manzini.”
“For what?”
“Ever leaving your side.”
“You never really did because you never stopped loving me. That’s behind us
now we need to work towards creating a future for us.”
“You still want that with me?” He he gives me those ‘wtf are you saying’ eyes.
“Yes Ntandokazi but that’s only if you still want it. You stayed away from me
because you were hurting and me not being able to be there for you made
things worse. I should be the one apologizing because I failed you, I promised
you and Langa that I would always be there but then I couldn’t. The important
thing is that we are here now and I will never allow something that happen
again.” That’s really deep. I turn to kiss him, gosh I looovvveee this man. He
takes of my clothes and he starts making love to me and just like every time
our sexual experience is never the same, this is more deep and emotional. It’s
us communicating our feelings. It’s just beautiful.
“I love you Ntandokazi”, he says going deeper in me. I gasp for air trying to
regain strength to answer him.
“I love you too Lwandile.” He keeps on going deeper and deeper. It feels great.
then we both come. That was beautiful. He kisses my forehead then pulls me
close to lay on his chest … still my sanctuary. We just lay there without saying a
word to each other and right now it feels like it’s the best conversation I’ve
ever had, I know it’s weird.

I wake up and it’s just after 1pm, Lwa and I fell asleep and he is still sleeping. I
won’t wake him up he needs to rest anyway. I get up to take a quick shower
and then I’m going to the mall, I want to do something sweet for him but I
don’t know what yet hopefully inspiration will hit me when I get to the mall.

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Just before I leave I leave him a note written:
“At the mall sthandwa sami. I love you.”
I’m now waiting for an uber to come take me it’s very cold in Durban today.
The guards here are happy that Lwa is back and I really value their loyalty phela
while Lwa was away they weren’t paid because his funds were frozen but they
stayed. Now that is loyalty and I hope Lwa compensates them for it.

I get to the mall and bingo it hits me. We will have dinner at Moyo’s
restaurant, that place reminds me of the time we had just met and he couldn’t
get his hand off me, the day I saw his bare sexy chest ... thixo ngenelela I will
never forget that day most of all because it’s when he asked me to be his. Then
after that I will give him a full body massage (wink, wink, wink) theN lastly a
romantic bath for just the two of us. Now the mission is what we will wear so I
do some shopping around for us and some sexy lacey lingerie. Just as I am in
and out of shops I get a call from my King.
“Baby.”
“Sthandwa sami where are you?”
“The mall baby, I left you a note nje.”
“I saw it but you’ve been out for a while now.” Lol Lwa is over exaggerating its
roughly 4 hours and for which some time of it he was still asleep.
“I’m sorry baby but I’m almost done.”
“Text me when yoU are done I will come pick you up, I don’t get why you
didn’t take one of the cars.” Well I honestly have no reson for that, it just
didn’t hit me. I’m just used to the uber life.
“It didn’t come to me love. Ok I will tell you when I am done.”

I get back to Umhlanga and I tell the bae to get ready and I give him the clothes
I bought for him. He giggles.
“Props to you MaMthimkhulu now you get my style.” Lol uyaphapha yaz Lwa
how could I be with him for so much time and not notice the way he dresses.
“Just get ready we are going out for dinner.” He seems surprised but he won’t
ask question he does just as I say and we both get ready. We do just that and
we leave. We are both looking amazing, I have this smirky smile on my face
because I honestly can’t wait for tonight.

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 We get to the restaurant and they take us to the table we reserved. Lwa opens
my seat for me, my gentleman. We get seated and we make our orders.
“You look beautiful tonight.”
“So do you my Zulu full course meal.” He laughs. Our meal arrives and as we
are diging in I can’t help but keep on starring at Lwa, iheee gosh this man is
hella sexy he still has me drooling I swear.
“Are you ok babe?” he asks.
“Yes love, I’m just happy that you’re back. I missed you.”
“I know I miseed you too.”
“I have a surprise for you?”
“What is it?”
“It’s something red and lacy.” He clenches his fist and lets out a dirty smile. For
some weird reason Lwa has a thing for red lingerie it makes him lose it.
“Babe why are you doing this to me?”
“What did I do because I haven’t told you what it is.”
“I already know. Can’t we just skip dinner and go back home?”
“No Lwandile you need to have supper first.”
“What about my meal?” Lol this guy, I know he is referring to my cookie.
“You will have it after this.” He doesn’t like this but he has no choice but to do
just as I say. We finish our dinner and the bill comes and I take it.
“MaMthimkhulu what are you doing?”
“I’m about to pay for the bill, today it is my treat.” He giggles.
“This is new I have never had a woman take me out on a date before.”
“Theres always a firt time for everything.” He kisses my hand. As we walk out
of the restaurant Lwa picks me up, I laugh.
“Baby put me down!!”
“No you are walking too slow.” Lol this man is crazy. Lwa is driving so fast.
“Baby slow down!”
“Nope it’s time for me to eat my supper now.” I giggle, Lwa is something else.

We get to the house and the moment we enter the house, Lwa starts kissing
on me. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist and we head
upstrairs. He undresses me and then throws me on top of the bed. For a
moment he just stands there and stares at me in my lingerie, then he lets out a

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dirty smile. He then goes in to kiss me. He slowly kisses my neck and then after
every inch of my body. I am weak. He gets to my tighs and starts kissing on
them then kisses my cookie. I gasp for air. As ususal I am transported to my
own little paradise and it’s absolutely amazing. Before I can even notice I feel
him go in. I gasp for air once again, damn this is amazing. Right now I can’t
gather the right words to describe whats going on because he isn’t rough but
he its gentle either but its just heavenly, I can feel him breathing on my skin.
Right now this guy has me on lock down.
“Babe are you still ok?” he asks. To think that as loud as I’m moaning right now
he could tell that I’m not even ok, I’m great. I really don’t understand how Lwa
expects me to respond to him when I can barely even catch my breath. But I
guess I have to get used to this thing of him wanting us to talk during our love
making sessions.
“Yes I’m ok.”
“Are you enjoying it?”
“No.” It’s not because I’m actually not enjoying it but it’s kind of that thing
when you hate something because it’s way too good.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Fuck No!” He lets out a dirty smile.
He puts my legs on his shoulders and I completely lose it. He starts going me
deeper and rougher.
“Ntandokazi you will never do the shit that you did ever again. We are in this
to stay, if we have problems we work shit out together. If we are hurt we stick
together and heal together. Understood?” Uhrm like WTF??? How the hell did
we get here? I can’t even answer, the way Lwa is so rough right now I can
barely even breath. He pushes in me deeper.
“Yes! Yes! It won’t happen again baby.” He goes in deeper again and I can feel
shock all over my body.
“I LOVE YOU LWANDILE!!!!” I scream out just as I cum. Instead of stopping he
continues going in faster and deeper. My body is weak, I feel like my lower
body is literally going to come of. I feel shock and I cum again. He kisses me,
from the look of things Lwa could still take another round.
“What was that all about?” I really have to ask.
“Did I hurt you?”

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“No that was amazing.”
“I’m sorry babe but my appetite is still very big, I haven’t been getting any for a
while now.” Lol that I totally understand phela Lwa and I used to have sex two
or three times a week when I am in Potch and when I come to visit here it was
more because I usually spend more time here.
“It’s fine baby I understand.”
“So, does that mean I can get round two?”
“Yes! but just let me catch my breath.” Moments later Lwa and I are back at it.

I wake up in the middle of the night and Lwa isn’t here. To some extent I know
not to worry when this happen’s but it still pisses me off because I just wish he
could just let me know his whereabouts not to just disappear on me like this.
I’m not even sleepy anymore, I sit up and I try to call him but his phone is off. I
have to wait for him. I’m pacing up and down the room when I hear someone
coming up the stairs, I feel a sign of relief. He walks in and walks straight
towards me to hug me. We haven’t said a word to each other. Normally I
would be fighting him right now but something tells me right now he just
needs to feel comforted.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. I’m worried.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going out. I went to Langalethu’s thombstone.”
He says looking defeated. I hold him tighter.
“It’s fine baby”, I answer.
“No it’s not, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to be with you when you lost our baby.
But I promise you, we are still going to build our family and I am going to give
you 30 kids.” I giggle. This man is silly 30 kids??
“30 is too much baby haw.”
“No it’s just perfect.” Lol he must keep on dreaming, never 30 pho???
“I love you Lwandile.”
“I love you even more babe, lets go to bed.” You know sometimes I believe it
when then they say somethings happen for a reason, for now Lwa and I might
not understand why we had to endure so much pain but I know theres a
reason and with each trial we face I know that our love for each other grows. I
know that Langa will always be a part of us but he is right we are still going to

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make more babies and wondering why we had lose our baby to learn what
ever lesson we needed to learn won’t bring him back.

It’s morning I have made breakfast for my King and whats next is for me to run
a bath for him. Today we are going to Richards bay, theres going to be a mini
braai there to celebrate the boy’s being back. We need to go pick up Nozuko
first though before we hit the road. I go up stairs to find him peacefully still
asleep its sad that I am going to be the one who is going to disturb it.
“Sthandwa sami wake up!!” He doesn’t fuss he just gets up. That’s odd, it’s
really unlike him.
“I thought I was dreaming”, he says with a smile on his face.
“Dreaming of what?”
“That I was back here with you. You have no idea how happy it makes me to
wake up and the first thing I see is you with you beautiful big eyes.” I’m
blushing sana.
“It also makes me happy, I missed you.” He pulls me close to him and we share
a kiss then we just stare at each other. For a moment there I find myself lost in
his eyes, I can’t help but think about all the things we have come across with
Lwa. I love this man and the thought of almost losing him for good still scares
me.
“Ngyakthanda MaMthimkhulu”, he says.
“Ngyakthanda nami Manzini.” He locks me in his arms and we just lay there,
appreciating each others presence. I wish we could just stay here for all
eternity in a world where time doesn’t exist and it’s just me and him.

We are now wait outside Nozuko’s place, I missed her it’s really been a while.
As she approaches the car and I am absolutely blown away, baby girl is
flourishing. She is nothing close to the Nozuko I first met. She comes running to
hug his brother. She has tears rolling down her eyes. This is very heartfelt.
After their moment she comes to me and we exchange a tight hug.
“I missed you so much”, I say.
“I missed you too.” We let go then we just look at each other with teary eyes.
“Damn girl you look bomb what is PMB doing to you?” She blushes.
“Thank you Ntando but you are over exaggerating.” I swear I’m not, she is
glowing.
“You know I am right but we are still going to have our girl talk.” I say winking
at her. We then get in the car and leave. As we are on our way Lwa keeps
fondling with me, kissing my hand, rubbing my thighs and all the jazz, it’s cute.
It reminds me of early days before all this mess of him getting arrested. My
phone rings and it’s Olwethu.
“Bro.”
“Mntaka ma I heard the good news.” He must be referring to Lwa being
released, he is the only person who I haven’t talked to because yesterday as
soon as Lwa was released I broadcasted it to my family.
“Yes bro, I am so happy.”
“I know you are. Listen, I know that I didn’t approve of this relationship but I
can see now that what you and Lwandile have is genuine. I love you and at the
end of it all my only wish is to see you happy and I can see that this guy will
stop at nothing to make sure that you’re happy. It took me a long while to
realise that you actually love this guy and I hope he can realise what he has in
you.” Wow I’ve never heard my brother talk like this.
“That means so much and yes he really does make me happy.” I say looking at
my King next to me who is smiling.
“Then that’s all I need to assure me. Don’t leave Durban without seeing me I
miss you.”
“I won’t I promise.” On top of a beautiful day I get these comforting words
from my brother. I look at Lwa and he is still smiling.
“What are you smiling about?” I ask.
“The same thing you are smiling about. How is your brother?”
“He is ok.”
“Mhm it feels good to know that we now have his full blessings.”
“How did you… uthanda indaba.” He giggles and kisses my hand. Silly man of
mine, I love him still though. I’m sure Nozuko must be tired of our puppy love,
it’s just that she won’t say anything about it.

We finally get to Richards Bay and the cars parked in the yard I can tell it’s
quite full. I tell you this family doesn’t do anything at a miniture scale that’s
why you always have to be popping. We walk in the house and as usual

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Okuhle, Lubanzi and Lonwabo are the first people to rush to us. Nozuko is now
like a part of this family, she once told me she visits here almost every
weekend and she and Nokbonga are close. We hug the kids and we give them
their presents and we head to the kitchen to leave the things we bought for
the ‘mini braai’ and over there we meet the Aunts, some unfamilar faces and
the cousins. All the Aunts are happy to see me even the strict Aunt Sthabile.
The women of this family appreciate their wines they are in the kitchen just
sipping on their glasses since catering is taking care of everything. We head
outside to greet the males. They are so many men here, even Bab Hlophe is
here and the other blesser looking man, they is a bit of noise when they see
Lwa. Nozuko and I greet and shake their hands.
“Manje vele Lwandile wathi sithatha nini kwaMthimkhulu (When are we taking
a wife in the Mthimkhule family)?” Bab Hlophe asks holding on to my hand.
This awkward for me I wish that they didn’t have to have their guy talk with me
here.
“Awuke ubuze ngampela Samela, I have veen asking the same question” Bab
Khumalo adds on. He looks at me with a smile.
“I’m working on it but it’s going to be soon.” He says winking at me. Lol I have
no idea what that means. Bab Hlophe lets go of my hand then Nozuko and I
proceed to the kitchen.

Akhona is also here, she came with Zethu. Lunch was beautiful, they had an
elegant table setting at the garden and the food was to die for it was braai
food but not your typical braai food the meat was ... gosh I can’t even describe
it. Nokbonga, Nozuko, Sandisiwe, Sena, Akhona and I are chilling near the pool
area and of course they are drinking but Akhona and I are sipping on that juice
(struggles).
“So Nozuko please come out with it”, Sandisiwe say.
“What are you talking about?”
“THE GLOW!!!” Sena seconds. Thank God I am not the only one who noticed it.
We are all now looking at her. She looks at Nokbonga to back her up but she is
not about that.
“Ok ok, if you guys must know. I am seeing someone.” IHEEEEEEE!!!! Sweet
innocent Nozuko useyajola, FINALLY!!! This girl is way too beautiful to be

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single.
“Who is he? Where is he from? Where did you meet? Detaills!!!” I say.
“Don’t judge me please.” Lol hayi this is going to be juicy.
“We wont”, Akhona assures. The rest of us nod as a way of confirming.
“His name is Adam Miller, he is a final year medcine student at school and we
met at school.” Angaz noma it’s just me but did I just hear Nozuko properly.
We are all a bit shocked except Nokbonga, go figure.
“YOU ARE DATING A WHITE GUY!!!” Sandisiwe says in shock.
“Hawu guys but I said no judgement.”
“Sorry I didn’t mean to come off that way, I wasn’t judging you I just … I just
didn’t expect that.”
“Yeah theres nothing wrong with interracial relationships so you shouldn’t be
ashamed of it.” I say.
“I’m not ashamed of him it’s just that some people make a big deal out of this.”
“So how long have you guys been together?”, Sena asks.
“For 5 months now.” Yeses girl can really keep a secret.
“Have you guys … you know done the nasty?” LoL Akhona is blunt like that.
“Hell No, I’m saving myself for marriage.” I’m glad that Nozuko hasn’t let
Varsity change her completely, she still has a true sense of who she is.
“You must relate Sandy”, Nokbonga says. Sandisiwe is Lubanzi’s mother, she
got married at the age of 22 with Lubanzi’s father. She was still pure when he
found her.
“I do actually. So when are we meeting this Adam?”, Sandy.
“Soon but guy’s please promise me that our brothers will not find out about
this.” They all look at me. Lol haibo.
“Why are you guys looking at me?”
“You and Lwa talk about everything so it’s you we should be worried about”,
Nokbonga.
“Yes I do but I would never tall him things we talk about in our girl talks. Lwa
would lose it if he found out about Nozuko dating.” They all nod, we all know
how he can be at times. Speak of the devil we all see him come to us. There is
an awkward silence for a while as we look at him come to us.
“Why are you guys looking at me like this?” he asks. We all look at each other
and Sena starts some random talk about the lastest Bonang and AKA drama.

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He can tell that we wre talking about something he wasn’t supposed to hear
vele.
“MaMthimkhulu can you please follow me.” I get up and I do just that. We
head inside the house to his room. When we get inside he just holds me. I
know he missed me, so did I.
“Are you still ok?” he asks.
“Yes my King, I just need a kiss from you to be completely fine.” He then kisses
me. I can feel myself getting heated so I pull back, he gives me the dirty smile
and goes in to kiss me once more.
“When are you leaving?” Eish yah neh leaving, thinking about that just makes
me want to cry.
“On Monday.” He lets out a loud sigh.
“I hate this.” He says as I hold him tight.
“I know baby, I do too.”
“I promise you things won’t be like this for much longer.”
“Please stop making promises you might not be able to keep.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” He lets go of me. Eish ok maybe I shouldn’t
of said that.
“I’m sorry let’s just drop this.”
“Ntando don’t you think I’m trying?”
“Lwa please let it go.”
“NTANDO!!!”
“OK DAMMIT!! If you were trying I wouldn’t of dealt with losing a child on my
own while you were in Jail. You promised that you would always be there but
when I actually needed you the most you weren’t there. You keep making
promises but the one promise that meant absolutely everything, you couldn’t
keep it.” I break down and I start crying. I didn’t know that’s how I actually felt
until now. He comes near me to try and hold me but I push him away. I walk
out the door and he follows me.
“Ntando this is not how we resolve things. Talk to me!” he says grabbing my
arm. Just as I was about to say something Bab Khumalo and Bab Hlophe walk in
and my teary eyes meet theirs. I walk out of the house. I need to some air, I
need to calm down. Just as he was about to follow me.
“Let her go so she can calm down.” Bab Khumalo instructs Lwa. I get into the

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car and I start driving, I don’t even know here I’m going plus I don’t even know
Richards Bay that well. I get to a nearby park and I park the car there and I just
breath. I’m now walking around the park trying to calm down. I have a lot on
my mind for one I know that Bab’ Khumalo and Bab’ Hlophe were not
supposed to see Lwa and I arguing but its not like I planned it. I need some
time to calm down so that Lwa and I can communicate properly. I don’t blame
Lwa for what happened but I just needed him. I trust him and in all the
promises he has made to me but I just got too overwhelmed.

It’s been two hours since I last left and Lwa has been calling me but I haven’t
been answering his calls. I’m very calm now I know I’m ready to face him. I
drive back to the house and as I enter, there he is holding a beer sitting in the
front porche, he gets up and comes to me when he sees me arriving. As soon
as I get out of the car he just holds me.
“Don’t ever do that again.” Lwa hates this but he always does this when he is
mad, now he knows how it feels. But anyways I wasn’t doing this to hurt him I
really needed some air.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“Now talk to me.”
“Sthandwa sami I know what happened wasn’t your fault and I don’t want it to
seem as if I was blaming you for it. It’s just that Lwa that was the most difficult
time of my life and I really needed you. I know that you are trying as hard as
you can. I’m sorry.”
“You had every right to burst like that and babe believe me that I would give
up everything just to change the way things happened but I can’t, all I can do is
to make sure that it never happens again. But believe me when I say I’m trying
Ntandokazi I just need you have faith in me because I’m doing all of this for us.
“I know you are Lwandile.”
“So please don’t ever think that way again. I love you ok?”
“I love you too.” He kisses me and holds me tight again. Problem solved, gosh I
hate it when Lwa and I argue but atleast this didn’t blow out of proportion. We
talk back into the house and Bab Khumalo smiles when he see’s us holding
hands. Lwa walks me back to the girls and he goes back to abo Shaka. I can’t
help it but thing that I love this man, truth be told if I had to choose between

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him and anything in this world I would choose him without a doubt, without
second guessing and without regretting it.

We are back home with Lwa and we are totally exhausted, it’s been a long day.
Ma Khumalo didn’t want us to leave but that’s how she gets all the time. Bae
Lwa and I took a nice hot bath and we are now cuddling naked in bed. I think
now is the best time to actually find out how they managed to come out of jail.
“Baby?”, I call out.
“Yebo sthandwa sami.”
“Are you ready now to tell me now what happened? What was that money
for? Why did you go Johannesburg? How did you…” He kisses me. I know he is
trying to distract me but that’s not going to happen. I pull back and I look at
him, he can tell I’mstill not moved.
“Ok babe it’s just that I don’t want to talk about this now.”
“Well I do Lwa.” He lets out a huge sigh.
“Ok to cut the long story short the money was so I can get myself access and to
also bribe the judge. I had to play the bastard at his own game so I needed
leverage and I got it. It’s either we both went to jail or he lets down his guard
and so was I but the tables have changed.”
“But baby what if when he comes out he bothers us again.” I really am worried
because I can’t be separated from Lwa again.
“He wont.”
“How can you be so sure?” I start to get emotional and tears start rolling down
my cheeks. He kisses me then wipes them of.
“Trust me MaMthimkhulu.” He holds me to his chest but tighter. I don’t know
what Lwa has on his mind but I know I have to trust in him.

**********

It’s a Thursday and just like very other week day I spent the whole day on
campus and now I have the afternoon all to myself I need to relax a bit. Lwa is
in Johanesburg he flew in there last night apparently he had some urgent
business to attend to but he promised that he would come see me tomorrow
before he heads back to Durban. I get a call from Esihle.
“Mntase are you ok?” she asks. She sounds a bit shaken not like her ususal self.

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“Yeah I’m ok, what about you?”
“So I take it you haven’t heard”
“Heard what?? What are you talking about?”
“Nsika was murdered in his cell last night.” I feel my freeze. I’m out of breath
so I run to get a glass of water. I’m shaking, I’m nervous and I’m confused. I
dropped my phone on the carpet and Esihle keeps calling but my body is not
allowing me to go pick it up. I don’t believe it Nsika is gone and through the
most painful way. When I said I want him to go to hell I didn’t mean this, I just
wanted him to stay away from me and Lwa I would never wish something so
cruel for anyone. I take a deep breath and I call Esihle again before she gets
worried.
“Esihle I’m sorry I just froze. I can’t believe this.”
“But Ntando these things happen in jail all the time. How are you feeling?”
“Shocked, just shocked. Yes he wasn’t my most favourite person actually I
hated him but still … have they found the murderer?”
“I know I’m also shocked. No they are still investigating because it seems like
somebody must’ve messed up the security cameras because they is no visual
of anyone going or out of his cell.” Wow this is sad, I really do feel sorry for his
son who will grow up without a father at such a young age. Knowing that he
was there in the first place because of the man I love makes me not know how
to feel about all of this but the sudden thought of how I felt when Lwa was
arrested and what Nsika almost did to me I feel my heart start to erase the
sympathy I have for him. But I can’t believe it, Nsika is really gone. I pick up my
phone to call Lwa, I want to tell him about what I just heard.
“Sthandwa sami”, he answers.
“Baby I just heard the most shocking news.”
“What is it?”
“Nsika passed away, apparently he was murdered in his cell last night.”
“Ow ok, so how are you doing?” Uhrm wtf?? You know when you deliever such
news to someone about the person that they were close to, regardless of any
fueds that mighy’ve transpired between them you expect them to be touched
in some way.
“Lwandile did you not just hear what I said?”
“Babe I heard you but what do you expect me to say?” I am shocked bethuna! I

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don’t know how I expected him to react but I sure as hell did not expect this.
“Haibo Lwandile you guys were friends.”
“Yes were were until he betrayed me and tried to destroy everything I worked
for. He became an enemy from that day onwards. He deserves what ever that
has come his way.” Right now I can barely recognize that man I am talking to,
how can he say something so heartless. I freeze for a moment trying to
processs his words.
“Babe I’m sorry you had to hear me say something like that but it’s the truth.” I
take a deep breath.
“I hear you baby, I just thought this is something you would’ve wanted to know
but clearly I was wrong. In other news I miss you.” I’m trying to change the
topic but my mind is still not shaken from what Lwa just said.
“I know babe, I miss you too. If it weren’t for the business I’m here to attend to
I would be there by now.”
“I know babe but I will see you tomorrow. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I know I should probably stop overthinking shit but I swear
something is not right.

It’s somewhere past midnight and I can’t get any sleep at all, all afternoon I’ve
been contemplating on the issue of Nsika’s sudden murder. It could be just me
but the fact that Lwa arrived in Johanesburg last night, the very same night
Lwa was murdered seems way too much of a coincidence. I know it’s wrong for
me to think that Lwa has anything to do with this but the things he said earlier
don’t make it easier for me to think otherwise plus for the fact that he once
entered that place without being noticed makes me wonder what would stop
him again. As I’m lost in my thoughts I hear somebody open the door, I get
nervous. I sneak out of bed and as I am about to open the bedroom door,
someone opens it… it’s Lwa. I feel my heart drop he almost gave me a heart
attack.
“Sorry babe I scared you, I thought you would be asleep.” He comes near me
and hugs me. My nerves calm down.
“Don’t ever do that again”, I say holding on to him.
“I’m sorry sthandwa sami”, he says kissing my forehead.
“What are you doing here I thought you were coming tomorrow morning.”

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“So I can give you a chance to chase away your side niggar, no ways.” Lol Lwa is
silly he knows I would never cheat on him or bring any guy here he told me
straight up that he would kill me if I did that.
“Don’t be silly but really baby driving late isn’t good.”
“I know but I just couldn’t wait to be with you, I’ve been missing you sthandwa
sami.” I feel my heart melt that is so sweet. I can’t help but blush.
“I missed you too baby, should I dish up food for you?”
“No babe it’s late and I’m actually exhausted, lets go to bed I just want to hve
you in my arms.” Thank God I made the offer but I’m actually lazy. Hopefully I
will get some peace of mind and sleep now that I’m in the arms of my man.

It’s morning and as ususal I’m up first preparing breakfast for Lwa. I was able to
get some rest but when I woke up this whole thing flooded my thoughts again.
I have a lot of questions and only one person can give me the answers and
that’s Lwandile. Just as I’m lost in my thoughts I feel Lwa hug me from behind. I
feel myself get warm for some reason his touch just makes me forget about
everything.
“Good morning future Mrs Zungu.”
“Good morning Mr Zungu.”
“How are you this morning?” Lol it could be just me but Lwa woke up in the
right side of bed.
“I’m good, I can tell you are great.”
“I am.” He kisses me after saying that. Then he takes a moment to look at me
then he unleashes that deadly dirty smile. Then he kisses me again, just a bit
more passionate. He lifts me up and places me on the counter table. He takes
off my p.j’s and starts kissing me everywhere, I know where this is going and I
like it. I wrap my legs around his waist and he picks me up then he enters me, I
gasp for air. He starts going deeper and I am out of breath. Lwa
and I might have our own issues but I’m telling you one thing that will never
die out in this relationship is how incredible our sex is. Each time is always
better then the last I have never felt anything like this before.
“I love you Ntando”, he says still grinding on me.
“I love you more Lwandile.” He grabs on to my waiste a bit tighter and I can
feel him shaking then he cums. He carry’s me to the lounge and we lay on the

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couch, my body on top of his. No matter here or how we had sex we still
cuddle, it’s kind of our thing it makes us feel closer. These are the moments
worth living for when I just wish time could stand still and I could just lay here
in his arms that’s the only security I need.
“Baby did you have a hand in Nsika’s death?” I swear I didn’t even think about
that it just slipped out. He is starled.
“Ngoba ingekho into encono esingakhuluma ngayo? (isn’t there anything
better we can talk about)”
“You haven’t answered my question!”
“And I won’t I won’t spend my time discussing you dead lover.”
“Excuse me??!!” Lwa must not dare me.
“You know I didn’t mean it that way. Lets just drop this before we start
arguing.”
“But you still havent answered me.”
“NTANDO!!” Lwa is avoiding answering my question and that’s even more
suspicious.
“So you were involved.” I say looking at him. He seems to be getting more and
more annoyed with me. He removes me from him and he gets up.
“To think that you would know me better.” He then gets up and heads to the
shower. Those words hit straight to my heart, I might of pushed him too much.
I decide to follow him. I open the shower door and there he is naked … wet …
soapy. Lwa’s body still does the things for me especially since he came back
from jail he is more masculine then he was before, he is sexy.
“Can I join you?” I ask after scanning his body for a few seconds. He nods.
“Sthandwa sami I’m sorry”, I say wrapping my arms around his waist.
“Ntando we are done talking about this!” he says giving those I’m warning you
eyes.
“Yes we are.”
“And I don’t want you to ever mention his name in my presence again.”
“I promise I wont.” He kisses my forehead then embraces me. I know I have to
let this Nsika thing go it’s not worth arguing with Lwa about.
“I love you”, I say as he baths me. He smiles and looks at me.
“I love you too.” He picks me up, I wrap my legs around his waist and for a
moment to stare at each other. And this for me this guy is it, this is the man for
me. He is far from perfect and a sinner at heart but my heart chose him with all

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his imperfections, it chose him with all his mistakes and it chose him because
of the love he has shown me.

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 Chapter 15

I can’t believe it, I am finally done with my honours final exams. I am very
hopeful I really worked hard, I even asked Lwa to limit his visits so believe me
he is even happier that I’m done. Lwa has been very supportive because even
when he was around he wasn’t much of a distraction because sometimes he
used to help me study. I’m not going to go back home yet simply because I still
need to pack since I am totally moving away from Potch. I still haven’t decided
what I’m going to do with the place Lwa bought me but I am in good minds of
renting it out. Lwa is coming to Potch today I am totally excited I miss my man.
It’s weird how in the past month and a half my relationship with Lwa has
grown even stronger then its ever been. We’ve been together for something
over 11 months and in two weeks its our 1 year anniversary, we have grown in
the time we’ve spent together, as individuals and as a couple and our love for
each other grows as well with each day. I just go to my place (second flat I
practically live here full time now) and I am totally drained. All I want to do is
sleep, Lwa will have to entertain himself today because honestly I am too tired.
I hear the door open, it’s Lwa for sure I run and I jump on him. He is carrying
grocers and we almost fall.
“MaMthimkhulu can I atleast put these down”, he says while laughing. I get off
him and we head to the kitchen, he puts down the groceries and we hug.
“I missed you”, I whisper.
“I know I missed you too, but now let’s go get ready we are going out. We
need to celebrate.” Ow yassss I kiss him first then I drag him to the shower, its
been a long hot day its much needed.

We just came out of the shower after a nice very much needed love making
session between me and my King right here. We are on the bed cuddling
naked.
“Baby where are we going?”
“I remember you once told me you wish that for once this year you could
go an art exhibition well they is going to be a fashion and art exhibition at
Sandton tonight and I managed to get us tickets.”
“Are you serious?!!” He nods with a smile on his face. Ow my gosh I can’t

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believe it, for the past two years I’ve had this weird obsession of art for some
odd reason. I can’t believe Lwandile actually remembered I once told him that,
it means so much to me. I know he is a good listener but this is something else.
“Thank you so much baby! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I say excitedly.
“Anything for my Queen and one last thing. I know you’ve been working hard
and you need a break so we are going to Swaziland for a few days just so you
can relax. Our flight is today at 11pm.” Ow my Gosh! Catch me before I fall. My
bae is so sweet. I hold him tight, they are no words right now that could ever
describe how happy and excited I am.
“What did I do to deserve you?” I say after kissing him.
“I treat you like a Queen because you deserve it and honestly nothing I will
ever do will compare to how blessed I am to have you.” Damn! That’s deep
and so sweet. I kiss him again, this man bakwethu.
“I love you so much Lwandile I hope you know that.”
“I know babe and I love you too but its time to pack we need to leave in 2
hours.” Way to burst the “nchoooo” bubble but he is right. I head straight to
waredrobe to start packing. I’m a very indecisive person so it takes a whole lot
of self reasoning before I decide to leave something. Lwa knows it and I’m sure
that’s the one thing that annoys him about me since he is very impatient.

***********

We are at Mbabane at Summerfield Resort. This place is so beautiful, an ideal

spot for a baecation or a girls vacation I might just opt to come here for my
birthday next year. Lwa and I got here late last night and we’ve been in bed
since, we ate breakfast in bed, we’ve been watching tv, cuddling and sexing. To
be honest I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of the day like this.
“Babe well I have something to talk to you about”, he says. He is facial
expression has changed so this must be serious.
“Whats up?”
“Well about three weeks ago I had a meeting with dad, Bab Dlamini, Shaka and
Zethu. I am stepping down from the business, yes I will still be involved here
and there since our suppliers will only deal with me and I will take care of
minor things but everything after that is on Shaka and Zethu’s hands.” Wow

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this I did not expect.
“This is big, are you sure?” I know I’ve never liked this whole coke business but
this is big.
“Yes I am.”
“How did Bab’ Khumalo and Bab’ Dlamini take it?”
“A bit disappointed but I’ve given a lot of my life in this business, its time I also
concentrate on aspects of my life that need my attention. I thought you’d be
happy.”
“I am Manzini, I just didn’t expect all of this to happen so soon. Are you happy
with the decision you’ve made?”
“Definitely, I told you to have faith in me. This is only just the beginning.” I hug
him, this means so much to me. No thought taunts me like losing Lwa and I
actually had to pray and be hopeful all the time that he is safe.
“Ngyakthanda yezwa MaMthimkhulu.” You see that’s the shit right there that
hits straight to the heart.
“Ngyakthanda nami.” I know this is a major change for Lwa and I don’t know
how he will adjust to it but I am happy. I willing to support him all I can going
forward.

**********

It’s our last day here and its really sad, I was still enjoying Lwa and I being in
our own world. For most of the the time we were here our phones didn’t even
exist, which is Is a bit weird because Lwa always has work to attend to but I’m
glad he made time for us. Its really been great, I got the chance to make Lwa
do a lot of the things he said that he would never do like going to the spa,
skinny dipping (that he enjoyed, I know) and the obvious what is a trip without
a shopping spree. He also taught me how to play golf and we visited the game
reserves around here and explored more of the swati culture, its been a very
interesting trip.
“Are you ready to go?” he says walking in the room. I was still reminiscing.
“Yes babe, thank you for such a beautiful ‘long weekend’. I really did need to
relax and distress.” He smiles and comes to kiss me.
“I guess we both needed this. Babe they is no need for you to thank me, its my

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duty to spoil you.”
“But you always go overboard.”
“You are my Queen nje.” I blush. Aggh my handsome silly King.
“But still, Thank you.”
“It was nothing babe. Come on let’s go before we miss our flight.” I’m going to
miss this place, it was the perfect mini heaven for me and my King and now we
have to go back out there to the world and its people and its problems.

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 Chapter 16
Once again, it’s the end of a very busy year. My sisters and I are going to
Durban again for one of our crazy December but this time around a lot has
changed, this time around Akhona and I have Lwa and Zethu in the picture.
Esihle has met a new mystery man, he is from Pietermaritzburg they met on
one of her trips there to visit Akhona. Things between them are very
promising, I like him. We just got to Durban and we are having lunch at Joe
Cools, with Esihle’s new bae. His name is Alwande, he is some fine tall light
skinned guy. They look good together, something about him reminds me of
Shona Ferguson but he is just a shade darker.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you guys”, he says. You can tell he is a bit of a shy
one, I wonder how he deals with my stubborn sister.
“The pleasure is ours its time that we finally meet the guy that’s been making
our sister happy”, I respond.
“And you better keep it that way otherwise we won’t be help accountable for
your death.” Lol I didn’t expect Akhona to say that, we all didn’t. We all laugh.
“Don’t threaten him haw guys”, Esihle says defending him.
“We are just saying you know”, I say backing Akhona up.
“Don’t worry I won’t, I promise.” At that moment my phone rings, its Lwa ow
hayi I know I might be in trouble because I didn’t tell him that we are already in
Durban.
“Manzini”
“Ukuphi Ntandokazi?”
“Sorry baby I’ve arrived in Durban we are having lunch at Joe Cools, I forgot to
tell you. Yobe Manzini!”
“Ok, where to from there? I don’t want to impose on your girl time.”
“The mall babe we want to catch a movie then I come see my man.” I can’t see
him but I can sense that he is blushing.
“Ok just tell me when you are done and I will come pick you up. Do you need
cash?”
“No baby I’m sorted, don’t worry about it. Thank you.” I’ve gotten used to
having a man like Lwa in my life, he likes being THE MAN and I let him be
because when I fight him its like I am challenging him. Till this day I have never
asked him for money, its not in me. A few seconds later I get a notification that

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R5000 has been deposited to my account.
“Ngyabonga Manzini but it wasn’t necessary”
“Enjoy yourself.” Well he got that right, I definitely will.
“Ladies unfortunately I have to leave, I have a meeting to attend in Pmb in a
few hours”, Alwande.
“Ok, it was nice meeting you Alwande”, Akhona.
“The pleasure was all mine.” I like this guy for Esihle and this time around she
seems to be in it for reals. Akhona and I watch them as they fondle and kiss.
They are so cute together.
“Well let us hit the mall”, I say.

Day well spent I really missed spending quality time with my sisters. Me and
the girls agreed that we would head to my uncle’s place on Tuesday but for the
next 3 days we will spend time with our bae’s.
As I’m waiting for Lwa it hits me that our anniversary is actually the day after
tomorrow. We really have come a long way with my Zulu King and I love him
today more then I ever have before. Finally! he gets here.
“What took so long?”
“I’m sorry babe, traffic.”
“Ok, are you ok?”
“No, I’m not. Whats up with Nozuko?”
“What do you mean?”
“Useyajola?” lol yoh!! Hayi ke why is he asking me. Last I talked to Nozuko, she
and her white boyfriend were still very much in love. I’m glad that she is happy,
she deserves it.
“Why? Are her academics dropping?”
“No but she doesn’t come here as often anymore. Yesterday she was supposed
to come here and spend a week then go to Bergville but she didn’t I even had
to scould her about it. Is she pregnant?” lol virgin mary? Nope I doubt, she told
me that sex is still the last thing on her mind and her boyfriend
doesn’t mind it so I’m glad she is not under pressure.
“I will talk to her, she probably has a valid excuse.”
“That’s the thing she always has excuses Ntando. My mind is made up I will
transfer her back here and she will stay at home because I don’t know what

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shes up to that side and I don’t want to know because if I find out she is doing
shit… ow so help me God!!!” Lwa is really pissed off about this. I wonder whats
up with her, its unlike her to disobey her brother like this but then she is inlove
and love can make you do stupid things sometimes.
“I’m sure she isn’t doing anything bad, I will talk to her and make sure first
thing tomorrow morning she makes her way here.”
“You still haven’t answered my question.” Lol ahh man I thought this question
was long avoided. I promised Nozuko that I wouldn’t tell but I also can’t lie to
Lwa.
“Baby I think its best you ask her that plus uNozuko usemdala she can date.”
Lwa gives me that look that just say’s ‘she better not be otherwise’.
“Don’t give me that look, I know its hard for you to accept it but it’s the truth.
At least now you know how my brother felt when he found out about us.” He
giggles.
“Yoh! Babe I almost died that day. But it would’ve been worth it because it was
for the woman I love.” I’m blushing, that is so sweet.
“So, would you give Nozuko permission to date?” His face changes instantly
and he looks annoyed by my question.
“Permission my foot, you and Nozuko are not the same so do not start
comparing! You are about to get your Honours Degree and she just completed
her first year, she needs to concentrate.” Ow well at least I tried, I knew I was
just taking chances.
“Ok! Geez I was just asking baby no need to get worked up about it.”
“Well you have my answer and feel free to pass it on to her.”
“Baby I will handle this, don’t let it stress you.” He smiles.
“Look at my soon to be wife! I know you will knock some sense into her.” Lol
Lwandile though still as silly as ever.

We get home and first thing I do is call Nozuko, I really need to find out whats
going on.
“Zuko, Lwandile is worried about you.”
“I know Ntando but tonight Adam is going to go introduce me to his parents. I
knew it was going to be impossible if I come that side so I had to stall and I
want to spend some time with him before I came back and its not like I can

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explain all those things to bhut’ Lwa.” Wow so she is meeting the parents. Well
I kind of get where she is coming from honestly, I’m practiacally in her shoes.
“I wish you could’ve communicated with me so I can reason with him because
right now he is considering transferring you here next year.”
“Bhuti Lwa can’t do that, please talk to him Ntando. I promise I will come back
home on Monday.”
“No Nozuko, I told him you would be here tomorrow just please come back
home you know how he can get sometimes.”
“Ok ok, I will.” This thing of dating in the shadows really does suck, I for one
know but I know this will make Lwa happy.

***********

Finally!!! Our day has started. Its our anniversary. The day I gave Lwandile a
chance to steal my heart. Nozuko came here yesterday morning but Ma
Khumalo and Nokbonga came to pick her up at night, its funny how she didn’t
even spend the night but Lwa had no choice but to let her go. To start of the
day I woke up a bit early and I prepared a huge breakfast … a huge one and I
must admit I’m proud of myself everything looks on point. Just as I was about
to go wake him up, the door bell rings and I go open. It’s a delivery guy holding
a huge bouquet of beautiful roses. As I close the door I feel someone hug me
from behind, its Lwa.
“The day isinqandamathe sami singenza indoda emadodeni (the day my sweet
heart made me a man amongst men)”, he says. I laugh.
“Thank you Sthandwa sami they are beautiful.” I see a small card on the roses
and its written:
“52 roses because Our Lives Change After 52 weeks…”
I look at him in confusion. He gives of a smile.
“Your Question will be answered in a few hours”, he says before I could utter a
word.
“But baby…” he kisses me before I can even continue. He stops then looks at
me.
“Trust me MaMthimkhulu.” I will comply. I drag him to the dining room where I
have everything set up and he jus stands there staring at everything.”

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“This is food heaven. When did you wake up to prepare all of this?” I giggle. I’m
glad he is noticing all of my efforts.
“Baby just sit down so we can eat.”
“Choosing you is one of the best choices I’ve ever made”, he says.
“And being with you makes it all worth it.” Well this is our nchoo moment right
here. After sharing a kiss, we dig in. When you date Lwa, you should love the
gym. When I met him I was a slender type of girl, I used to wear size 30 and
now I’m a wooping size 34 with some sexy thickums here and there. I honestly
love my body now, I have my tight waist and the right thickums in my thighs,
hips and booty. All thanks to gym my body is hella sexy but if we are going to
keep eating like this me and my bae can’t stop going to the gym.

After cuddling and sexing for the entire morning, Lwa and I are now at Sun
Coast hotel having a late Lunch. It’s odd that he brings me here because even
the second time I saw him, it wasn’t pleasent. They is a beautiful setting here,
bae bae took the liberty of arranging that it be made it extra special for us.
“Baby but why bring me here?”
“Because the second time I saw you was more special then the first. You see
the first time I saw you I wanted you but the second time, that’s
when I was determined to make you mine. So even though things were not in
my favour that day but it holds a lot of value to where we are today.” Lol and
buka I am madly inlove with the same guy I used to call an ill-mannered hunk. I
swear if anyone at that time would’ve told me that Lwandile and I would end
up here I really would’ve denied it.
“And look at us now! We can barely even spend an hour without each other. I
love you so much that I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like not
loving you anymore.” He blushes, reminds me of the first time he first formally
introduced himself to me.
“I love you more MaMthimkhulu.” My King, after all we’ve been through we
are still here with more love and a stronger bond.

Its just after 7pm and Lwa and I are headed to Zimbali. When the car stops I am
absolutely shocked, it’s the house that Lwa told me we would start our family
in. He has never since that day talked about this place but I still remember it.

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“Let’s go inside my lady.” This place reminds me of how happy I was when he
told me it would be our home. I start to get a bit emotional that this was
Lwandile’s gift to Langa and I since he promised to give us a home. Yah neh
sometimes life doesn’t really work out the way you plan it.
We walk outside to the pool area where they are candels all over and a picnic
set up. I’m so blown away, this is so beautiful.
“You did this for us?” I ask.
“Yes Sthandwa sami.” I hug him, tears start rolling down my eyes.
“Baby don’t cry please, today is our day.”
“I know, its just that a lot has happened you know.”
“I know baby.” He kisses me and then we sit down. After stuffing our faces
with food once more. I lay on his chest and we just snuggle. This picnic reminds
me of our first date, it was at the beach. They really are a lot of memories I
have shared with this man and I can’t wait to make a million more.
“MaMthimkhulu?” He calls out. I look at him. He clears his throat and sits up
straight, I know he is about to talk about something serious.
“Is everything ok?”, I ask.
“Marry me Ntandokazi Mthimkhulu!” I feel my heart drop, I didn’t expect this.
“What????”
“I said marry me, I know this year we faced a lot of trials as a couple to the
point of almost losing each other but despite all of that, you gave me
something I can never repay and that is your unconditional love. You make me
want to change my life for the better and I’m doing it all because of you.
Everytime when you are around I come back to a home filled with warmth and
love and I want that for the rest of my life. So be my wife!” I start crying, I love
this man. Lwandile has done all he can to create a stable life for himself that I
actually be a part of, what else would I be asking for.
“Yes!!”, I say in tears. His face brightens up with joy, the first time I saw him
this happy was when I told I was pregnant.
“Are sure sthandwa sami?” he asks kissing me.
“Yes I am, I want to be your wife Mr Zungu.”. I feel chills all over
me, he starts undressing me. I can’t believe it, we actually going to do the dirty
deed here. I’m weak already, Lwa has me where he wants me to be. As he goes
in, I gasp for air. Our love making session is so passionate, I guess this is

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his way of expressing his joy. But Im also excited, now it all makes sense …The
note, our lives change after 52 weeks because we start the processs of being
husband and wife. This has to be the best day of my life.
“Ngyakthanda MaMthimkhulu”, he says just before he climaxes.
“Ngyakthanda nami Manzini.” Lol my perfect proposal, the love of my life is
about to become my husband I swear life doesn’t get better then this.

**********

Its morning and I am looking at the engagement ring. He really kept his
promises, after a year he changed his life for me and engaged me. This mans
love for me could make him move mountains and my my love for him would
make me swim oceans.
“Good morning Mrs Zungu to-be”, he says as he wakes up.
“Good Morning Mr Zungu.”
“You look so beautiful, you are glowing.”
“I’m happy so I should be.” We exchange a kiss.
“MaMthimkhulu we are coming to lobola you this Saturday so its important
that you let your family know.” Ok this I didn’t expect.
“Ok baby but they is no rush.”
“I don’t want to wait, its time the Mthimkhulu family hands over my wife.” I’m
impressed no lie, but Lwa always gets what he wants and when he wants it.
“Ok I will tell them.” This is a big deal, I’m about to get married which means
that I’m willing to leave home and build a family with this man. This means
that my vacation has been cut short, I need to go back home.
“Have you told your family?”
“No but I will call a meeting and tell them tomorrow.”
“So this means our time has been cut short?”
“Unfortunately, yes sthandwa sami but we have the rest of our lives to look
forward to.” I guess he is right, I can’t believe it. I am soon going to be Mrs
Zungu, right now I am the happiest woman on earth you can definitely count
on that.

**********

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Lwa and I are on our way to Ladysmith, then after that he is heading to
Richards Bay. I’m nervous when I think about what I’m about tell my mum
because I don’t know how she will react. Not too many people know about our
engagement yet, we wanted to deliever the news to our families first but
obviously we couldn’t keep this a secret from Shaka, Zwe, Zethu, Esihle and
Akhona. They are all excited and we on the other hand can’t wait to start our
lives together as a married couple. We eventually get to home, he is parked a
few houses away. After sharing a steaming kiss and fondling with each other
he hands me an envelop.
“What is this for?”
“It’s a letter explaining that my family will come pay lobola on my behalf this
Saturday. You shoud give it to your mum” Lol a letter? I’m quite sure even my
dad didn’t send a letter when requesting my mums hand in marriage but if
that’s how he wan’t to do it then so be it. We kiss again and say our final
goodbyes, now its time to face my mum.

It’s in the afternoon and I just asked to talk to my mum. Its do or die time.
“Ma, uhrm I wanted to give you this.” She takes the letter and reads it.
“Haibo Ntandokazi, this is a letter informing us that Lwandile’s family is
bringing lobola for you this Saturday.”
“Yes ma, he proposed.”
“Mntanami are you sure you are ready for this? You are still young and you
have your whole life ahead of you. Marriage is a big step.”
“Yes ma I’m definitely sure, I love Lwandile. You also got married at a young
age.”
“Times have changed”
“But this is what I want.” She hugs me. I can tell she is emotional and its
making me emotional.
“I can’t believe it my baby girl is getting married, unana wami.” Lol there we go
again with the nana name.
“Ma you need to stop calling me nana, I’m not a baby anymore.”
“You will always my baby in my eyes.” Nchoo I hug her a bit tighter.
“If your father was still alive he would be so happy” True that I know he
would’ve grilled Lwa at first but eventually I have a feeling they would’ve

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gotten along. It’s always been my prayer to God that whatever I accomplish in
life I have my parents still alive to witness it, its unfortunate that my dad never
got to witness all the beautiful things that have happened in my life but I’m
grateful my mum is still here. Mum is now on her phone calling every family
member to tell them about the good news. I know I should call Olwethu, I’ve
been stalling to tell him but now its time because its best he hears it from me
first.
“Mntaka ma”
“Bro how are you doing?”
“I’m good and you.”
I’m great, well I have something big to tell you.”
“How big?”
“Lobola big.”
“What??? He proposed???”
“Yes, he did.”
“Ntando are you sure you are ready for this? It’s a big step.”
“I am bro, a lot of things have changed things. I love Lwandile and he makes
me happy, I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”
“I’m happy for you, as long as you are happy.”
“Thank you bro, you need to come back home because the negotiations are on
Saturday.”
“Saturday??? That’s fast, clearly this guy means business. But I wouldn’t miss it
for the world” Yeeeeyyy!! Well reality is actually now sinking in, I’m going to be
Lwa’s wife. I’m going to be Mrs Zungu, I really can’t wait to spend my life with
the man that I love.

I’m in bed and its been quiet a day. I need to talk to my man now, I have talked
to Lwa since when he told me he is about to start the meeting. I’m guessing he
has been busy.
“Sthandwa sami”, he says answering the phone. Instantly, I feel my heart warm
up and fill with joy.
“Themba lami, you’ve been quiet.”
“I’m sorry babe, my head has been all over the place. How did oMakhulukhulu
take the news?”

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“My family is as happy as I am.” I sense a sign of relief that he is pleased
everything is going according to plan.
“That’s great, well as for my family. We both anticipated their excitement.”
That’s true, they have been on my bae’s case.
“So on Saturday are you also coming?”
“No babe, according to tradition I’m not supposed to be there for the
negotiations.”
“That sucks, I already miss you”, I let out a huge sigh.
“Tell me about it but this will all be over soon. Ngyakthanda yezwa
MaMthimkhulu.”
“Ngyakthanda nami Manzini.” I know I have to be patient and that’s not my
strong suit but I have to try for him.

**********

I’m pacing up and down my room. I’m not supposed to leave my room until the
negotiations are over. My mum and Aunts are in the kitchen. Me and my sister
are in the bedroom its really frustrating. My Dads two elder brothers, my
granfathers and Olwethu are the ones representing my family in these
negotiations and they are all stubborn it’s their way or the high way. I spoke to
Lwa earlier and he said I shouldn’t worry, but I’m a panick freak so I can’t help
it.
“Ntando calm down everything will go well”, Esihle.
“I will calm down when I get the news that everything has gone well.” My mum
walks in.
“Ntando, Esihle and Akhona come with me.” We follow her and she leads us to
the lounge where the negotiations are being held. We sit down on the grass
mat in the middle infront of these men.
“Iyiphi yona ke intombi enize ngayo (which one of our daughters are you here
for)?” one of my grandfathers asks. It is literally impossible for them to get this
wrong, they have already seen me so many times. Shaka gets up and then
points at me.
“Syabonga zintokazi seninga hamba” we get up and leave. Less then 15
minutes after we enter the bedroom, I hear women ululating. This could only

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mean one thing, the negotiations are over. From what I heard these things can
drag on for hours, so in the history of lobola negotiations mines has be the
shortest. My mum walks in the room with a huge smile on her face.
“Its done!” Everyone around me is happy and excited but I’m just confused.
“That was quick!! How come??”, I ask my mum.
“It means that they made us an offer we could not refuse.”
“How much?” Her face instantly changes,
“You are not supposed to know that Ntandokazi.” I don’t understand why not, I
don’t want Lwa to spend a lot of money on Lobola its not that much of a big
deal we are still looking towards the challenge of building a family together. I
get a call from bae and I excuse myself from the noisey room.
“It’s done Sthandwa sami”, he sounds so excited.
“Yebo Themba lami, but that was really fast. I hope you didn’t pay more then
you had to.”
“They is no such, you are my Queen and if I could I would offer the whole
world in exchange for you.” You see, that’s the thing about Lwandile, he makes
me feel like royalty and it makes me feel special.
“Ngyakthanda Manzini and I can’t wait to get the honour to officially calling
myself Mrs Zungu.”
“Ngyakthanda nami Bhungane elihle likaManzini.” When he says that it literally
drives me insane. Now its time to go serve abakhongi. Today adds on to one of
the happiest days of my life.

It’s in the afternoon and we are having a mini family meeting. Lwa requested
that Umembeso be two weeks from now meaning that my traditional wedding
is actually in two weeks and then my White wedding and Umabo is a month
after that. I first panicked when he told me that but everything is settled, I
found a designer who will do my dresses, and he has a wedding planner for me
under my use. The traditional wedding will be back at the main home in
eNtabamhlophe, it works in my favour because the yard is big enough and the
White wedding at Durban and Umabo in Richards Bay.
“Ntando, where is Lwandile’s family”, one of my uncles asks.
“His parents have passed away, all he has now is his younger sister. So he was
raised by the Khumalo family after his father passed away.” That’s a short

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version of Lwa’s story.
“We hear you my daughter but they is going to be a problem. We have been
discussing amoungst us and Ntando you can not have Umabo wakho at the
Khumalo’s.” I’m confused why not? They are practically his family.
“With all due respect Bab’ Omkhulu but why not?”
“Your husband is a Zungu. How can you use the surname Zungu where as you
will get married according to the Khumalo traditions. The ancestors will not
allow that, we have heard your reasoning but that means you will get married
at his house, where his ancestors are and not at the Khumalo’s.”
“But Bab’ Omkhulu…”
“Ntandokazi!!!” My mum warns. I know its wrong for me to question my elders
but this is not fair, Lwa and I are not even traditional like that neither are the
Khumalo’s. I excuse myself and I head straight to my bedroom, I’m upset and I
know this will also break Lwa’s heart. I decide to call my Lwa
“Sthandwa sami.”
“Hi baby”, I sound very down
“Whats wrong?”
“It oBab’ Omcane, they say I can’t have Umabo at Richards Bay because of
some story that I can’t use the Zungu surname because I’ll be married
according to the Khumalo traditions. That doesn’t make sense, they say we
should rather have it at your house because its home to your ancestors.” He
lets out a huge sigh.
“It’s fine babe, we must accept whatever they say. Don’t let this stress you, my
family will understand.”
“I’m sorry Themba lami”
“No need babe, I don’t care where we get married as long as if you are my wife
at the end of it all. I want to do things the right way so if that is the case then
lets follow their guidance.” I feel my heart warm up with joy.
“Are you sure baby?”
“Definitely, I know you are stubborn but just listen to your elders.”
“I will baby, thanks for understanding and cheering me up. This is why I love
you.”
“I love you too”, that was a very much needed phone call. Lwandile knows how
to calm me down and all the right things to say. He is right at the end of it all

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the important thing is that we end up Mr and Mrs Zungu and I’m honestly
looking forward to it

It’s in the middle of the night when im woken up by my phone ringing, its’s
Lwa.
“Baby.”
“Sthandwa sami sorry for disturbing you.”
“It’s ok baby whatsup?”
“Would it be possible for you to sneak out. I’m outside.” He has got to be
kidding.
“You are just kidding right?”
“No, I want to see my wife.”
“Ok I’m coming.” I get dressed and I manage to sneak out. I get out of the gate
and there is his car parked a few houses away from home. I must admit I am
happy that he is here but I don’t like the idea that he drove all the way here at
night, it’s not safe. I get in the car and we exchange a kiss.
“What are you doing here? It’s not safe to drive at night?”
“I know babe but I just had to come see you, I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
“So how is Mrs Zungu doing?”
“I am happy but this whole thing that my fathers said.”
“MaMthimkhulu where we get married isn’t important as long as if you are my
wife at the end of the day. Don’t let this bother you one bit, my family
understands.”
“I know but…”, he kisses me before I can finish.
“So now let me ask you again, how is Mrs Zungu doing?”
“Mrs Zungu is great.” I go in to kiss him again.
“Ngyakthanda Manzini.”
“Ngyakthanda nami Bhungane lami elihle.” I really can’t wait to spend the reat
of the days of my life with this man.
 Chapter 17

It’s been 5 months since Lwandile and I have been married. Everyday with him
has been nothing but a blessing, the thought of regret never even crosses my
mind. I love this man now more then I did when I said I do. We live in our home
in Zimbali, I remember when Lwa said we would build our family here and now
here we are. The house in Umhlanga still exists but its just there and the one
here in Zimbali we’ve transformed it to a rental holiday home. I’m doing my
articles at one of the best Accounting firms here in Durban and I’m proud to
say that I got the job without any connections, after graduating my honours
with Cum laude my degree spoke for its self. I just woke up for work, I’ve made
breakfast and its time for me to wake up my hubby.
“Wake up sthandwa sami, breakfast is ready.” He opens his eyes, smiles and
then pulls met to him then he just holds me.
“Good Morning Mrs Zungu”, that title still gives me goosebumps.
“Good Morning Mr Zungu, its time to get ready for work.”
“I know babe, can’t we just spend the day in bed?”
“I can’t baby you are your own boss and I have a boss to report to.”
“That woman is deprving me of time with my wife but ok I guess its time to
wake up.” We exchange a kiss. We get ready to go to work and we are off. Ow!
and I have a car now, after we came back from our honeymoon Lwa bought
me a black Mercedes AMG C63 S Coupe, I love this car. I remember the day he
handed me the keys I lost my mind, I was looking like a mad woman laughing
and crying while I circle the car.

It’s in the afternoon and I just realized that I haven’t eaten anything since
breakfast, work has been hectic. My collegue approaches my desk followed by
a delivery man holding food.
“Mrs Zungu, your husband asked us to deliever this for you.” Ncho this is so
sweet, I’m actually starving.
“Yoh babes hayi shame you are blessed, you are living thee life darling.” Lol
Phila is such a character. He is the only gay in the firm and believe me when I
say he spices things up here. He is the only friend I have here, Lwa doesn’t like
him much because firstly we are too close and he is a guy and secondly

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because Phila has a crush on him.
“I just have a good husband who takes good care of me.”
“Good husband?? Babes that man is great. Gosh! I can only imagine having all
that sexiness to myself.”
“Yeyi wena! That’s still my husband.”
“You can’t blame me for dreaming that man is sexy, rich and a gentleman while
at it. Men like him are hard to find.” Lol gosh this guy.
“But this one is all mine, let me call to thank my man.” I really have the best
husband in the world.
“My wife”
“Sthandwa sami I got the food, that you so much. I’ve been so busy and I
haven’t even had lunch I am starving.”
“I thought as much. It’s nothing babe, enjoy.” Aggh I swear Lwandile really is
my other half, sometimes we find ourselves in a situation whereby I could be
thinking about something and he could be too or I do something that he was
thinking of doing. Its weird but it makes us realize that we were actually made
for each other.

I’m back home and I’m exhausted, the thought of having to come back to cook
for Lwa kills me even more because he honestly isn’t a fan of take aways. I get
home and I start cooking. I make a fast meal and I’m done in less then an hour.
I really am tired I need a nice long bath and a glass of Champagne. I do just
that. Just after I walk out the bathroom, Lwa walks in on me. He looks at me
for a while, then he comes to pick me up and starts kissing on me. He lays me
on the bed and then takes off my towel and I start to undress him. He kisses
my body them he enters me, I gasp for air. He keeps going in deeper, I feel all
my stress slowly exit my body and instead of being drained I’m feeling a bit
relaxed. He then clenches on my waist and then cums. He kisses my forehead
and then I lay on his chest.
“So how was your day MaMthimkhulu?”
“It was long and hectic, what about yours?”
“It was hectic as well. Wait before I forget please take this.” He hands me a
pregnany test. I can’t help but feel guilty, Lwa makes me take pregnancy test
every week. I know I’m not pregnant because I’m still taking contraceptive pills

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and Lwa doesn’t know it. We made an agreement that I would stop using the
pill after we got married. At the time he understood with my exams coming up
and losing a baby in the same year I wasn’t ready to be pregnant again. He is
anxious for us to have a baby and to be honest I don’t want to have one yet.
I’ve tried talking to him about it before but we end up arguing before I can
even get to tell him how I feel so I guess I will keep this a secret for a little
longer.
“Baby don’t rush it, we will have a baby when the time is right.”
“Well it’s taking too long, kant how long should I wait?” Lwa is used to getting
everything he wants and when he wants it so this is really frustrating to him.
“Do you really want a baby that bad?”
“Yes Ntandokazi, I would give anything to have a part of me grow in you.” I
really feel bad right now, I feel like I’m being selfish and I hate keeping secrets
from Lwa. I kiss him.
“Just give it a bit more time.” He doesn’t seem to be into the whole waiting
thing but I really just need more time, for now I just want to pass my SAICA
board exams, get my qualification as a chartered account then after that we
can consider having a junior. I really do feel like I have sacrificed so much for us
and I think I owe myself just this once chance to be selfish so I accomplish what
I want. I know I’m being unfair.

* * * * * * * * * *

It’s a Saturday, Lwa and I are going to Pmb to see Nozuko. We really do miss
her but this is a surprise visit. We decided to stop at the mall to buy her
groceries. Lwa has all access to her place and trust me that’s something no
little sister wants, I’ve tried convincing Lwa to give Nozuko her space after all
she is old enough and I do believe she deserves it. We get to the apartment
and we knock first but they is no answer so Lwa opens the door.
“Zuko!!!”, I call out but nothing she doesn’t seem to be here. Lwa heads to
check her in her room while I unpack the groceries. Next I hear Nozuko crying
and begging. I quickly rush to her room and Lwa is beating up Adam, Nozuko’s
boyfriend.
“LWANDILE STOP IT!!!!” I scream out but Lwa doesn’t hear a thing he keeps on

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beating the poor guy. He is not even fighting back. Nozuko is crying.
“Bhut’ Lwa please let him go I’m sorry!!” she says. This is so sad. They were not
doing any funny business it seems like they were sleeping. I decide to pull
Adam and I shield him, I’m risking here but I have to do something.
“NTANDOKAZI, MOVE!!!!!” he shouts out.
“I’m sorry but I can’t Lwandile, calm down”, I say pushing him away as comes
closer.
“I SAID MOVE!!!” I flinch. I’m scared, when Lwa gets this mad I still don’t know
how to control him. Poor Adams nose is bleeding badly. He is still trying to
catch his breath. If Lwa hits him again he will badly injure him and that is not
going to happen. Nozuko is crying, trying to hold up Adam and I can see this
making Lwa more angry.
“Nozuko take him to hospital!” I instruct. She tries to help Adam get up then
they walk out. Lwa tries to go after them but I close the door after they leave
and I lock it.
“Ntando why did you do that???!!! Manyala mani lawa??(What nonsesnse is
this) I brought Nozuko here so she can get an education and not this bullshit.
How dare she comes to have sex with a white boy under the same roof that I
pay for!!!”
“Sthandwa sami please calm down, Nozuko is old enough now you can’t expect
her not to date until she is done studying and we can’t tell her who to date.
She is a human being and she has feelings and you can’t take that away. Adam
is a good guy Lwandile, she is good for her. And their relationship is not sexual”
“So you knew about this?? And how can you be so sure that they didn’t have
sex.”.
“Nozuko is still a virgin Lwandile and yes I did know but it wasn’t my place to
tell you.” He is a bit taken back by this.
“Ake usho (Tell me) Ntandokazi are you married to me or Nozuko?”
“I’m married to you.”
“So why does your loyalty to her mean more to you then your loyalty to me?”
uhrm wwwooo ok this is going too far, Lwa must understand that I can’t tell
her about the girl talks I have with Nozuko.
“Yobe Manzini but that is not the case. It really wasn’t my place to tell you, if
Nozuko felt like she was ready to address her love life with you then she

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would’ve done that so I can’t interfere with that. Adam is a good guy and
Nozuko’s academic record hasn’t been affect by this relationship, if things
were otherwise I would not be condoning the relationship.”
“A white boy kodwa MaMthimkhulu??” Lol Lwa is just as shocked as we were,
interracial relationships are not that common. I giggle, he seems less angry
now. I come near him and I hug him, his shirt has some blood
stains on it. He lets out a huge sigh and he holds me.
“I don’t like this MaMthimkhulu, I don’t like this one bit and under no
circumstance will I accept this guy.”
“But you can’t stop her from seeing him. Lwa, Nozuko is a grown woman now
you can’t protect her from everything and her actually being inlove is not the
worst thing that could happen.” He lets out a sigh.
“But I don’t want this guy to step foot into this place and if her grades drop she
must forget about him. Siyezwana?”
“Yes, I will talk to her Manzini but you need to apologise to her.” He looks at
me like I’m losing my mind.
“Apologise?? For What?? She is my sister and it is my duty to protect her, I will
not apologize for that.” Zulu men and their pride. It’s annoying at times.
“Take off your t-shirt and go clean yourself I will go buy you another one. He
does just that and I wipe the blood drops on the floor. Just before I leave I try
to call Nozuko but she left here phone here, I am worried about her.

It’s been hours since Nozuko left and I am panicking. She should’ve been back
a long time ago. They is no way to track her because both her phone and car
are here. Lwa is still on the phone with his connections trying to at least get
Adams address, then she walks in. She looks tired and sad. I go and hug her I
know she needs it right now.
“We weren’t doing anything Ntando I swear.”
“I know, I’m really sorry about what Lwa did. Is Adam ok?”
“Yes, his nose is fractured but its not too bad, he is at his place. Is Bhut’ Lwa
still mad?” This means Nozuko was still taking care of him. I really feel bad.
“No, he has…”
“Where are you coming from Nozuko?? We were getting worried.” Lwa says
interrupting me before I could continue. Nozuko is still scared, I can tell and

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she has every right to be she has never seen Lwa like that.
“I’m sorry bhut’ Lwa it was not my intention I would’ve called but my phone is
here.” Her eyes get teary, this is really heart breaking. She excuses herself. I
know how Nozuko feels I was once in her shoes except Olwethu didn’t hit Lwa
and what hurts her the most right now is that she had to leave Adam in his
state and come back here.
“You need to talk to her.”
“Kodwa MaMthimkhulu I….”
“No Lwandile”, I say interrupting him before he could finish. Nozuko and I are
practically the same age but Lwa treats her like a little baby and it needs to
stop now. We knock on her bedroom door then she opens. Her eyes are full of
tears and she can’t even look at us.
“Bhut’ Lwandile I am sorry but what you saw earlier isn’t what you think it is
Adam and I are not there yet. But I love him and I can’t change that.” As
Nozuko says this I can’t help but feel proud, she has always put other people
first her entire life and now I think its actually healthy for her to be selfish just
this once.
“Nozuko I am your big brother and I love you so it is my duty to protect you.
Given the chance I would not hesitate to do things the same way. I’m only hard
on you because I don’t want you to lose focus. I can’t stop you from seeing him
but just promise me you won’t lose track.”
“I know and I promise I won’t.” They exchange a hug, this is so sweet.
“Since this trip didn’t go as planned it means that Zuko you have to come see
us next weekend.”
“I will.” We exchange a hug. Sadly, it’s time for us to go. But I am glad that Lwa
is gradually accepting that Nozuko is a grown ass woman, next step is trying to
get him to give back the spare keys. It was wrong for us to come unannounced
in the first place.

**********

It’s a Wednesday and I’m on my way to Lwa’s office, he doesn’t know I’m
coming. He has had a busy day so I just thought it would be nice for us to have
lunch together plus I am his wife I don’t need a excuse to go see my husband. I

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get to the office.
“Good day Mrs Zungu, Mr Zungu is still in a meeting.” Says his secretary.
“But he didn’t say anything about a meeting today.”
“They was nothing on his schedule either a woman came here requesting to
see him and he said I could send her through.”
“Woman??” I ask. She nods.
“She even brought him lunch” I’m a bit taken back by this. I decide to barge in
his office. Lwa and this woman look at me. I feel a burst of anger in me. I’m
jealous. This is not a formal meeting, they are even having lunch together.
“Haw Sthandwa sami I didn’t know you would pass by today”, he says getting
up to welcome me but I am cold. I’m looking at this woman from head to toe,
she is rather pretty.
“I wanted to have lunch with you but clearly someone beat me to it.”
“I’m sorry by the way babe this is Ms Dhlomo, she wants to buy one of the
buildings I own.” I shake her hand. I’m still pissed, I want to go WWE
Smackdown on her. Where have to heard of someone bringing another
woman’s husband lunch to discuss whatever they were discussing. Nakhona
bitch just shows up dololo appointment or anything like that. Lwa can see that
I’m sour.
“Nice to meet you Mrs Zungu, you’re a very lucky woman.” Lord be with me.
“Uhrm Ms Dhlomo can we please continue our talk some other time.”
“Ok no problem, I will schedule an appointment for tomorrow.” She gets up
and leaves. The moment she closes the door I take the sandwich and juice that
was on top of the table and I put it in the dustbin, Lwa wasn’t even half way
through with it.
“MaMthimkhulu it’s not what you think, it just a client.”
“Client my foot since when do your clients show up without an appointment
carrying lunch for you.” Lwa is amused by my jealousy he even has this little
smirk on his face and its annoying me even more.
“You look sexy when you are jealous.”
“This is not funny Lwa.”
“Ok ok Sthandwa sami, it will never happen again. But you are getting worked
up for nothing because you are all the woman I need.” Mcm smooth talker.
I let out a little smile.

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“That better be the case.” I kiss him.
“So, what are we having?”
“I will eat at the office, angith you are already full so whats the point if I’m
going to eat alone.” Lol yes I’m still sulking. He giggles.
“I will always eat food that my wife brings to me, plus babe I only ate 2 bites of
the sandwich you threw away. I’m still very much hungry.” I’m kind of glad he
said that otherwise I would be on his case the whole day about how he
rejected my food and ate a stranger’s food. I bought us chicken wraps, a fruit
salad and something to drink. As soon as I place the food on the table, Lwa
pushes the fruit salads to me.
“I’m not going to eat this.”
“What happened to eating everything your wife gives you?” He laughs. Lwa
hates fruits he prefers vegetables, he has those one or two fruits he loves but
other then that you won’t see him eating any other fruit.
“That’s not fair.”
“You owe me so you will eat it.” He starts sulking. I swear Lwa acts like a baby
sometimes, I find it amusing. I kiss him again, longer and passionately this time.
“What was that for? He asks.
“Just a reminder that I love you.”
“I love you too.” The married life has been amazing, I have a man that’s treats
me like a Queen and honestly that is every womans wish.

I get home and as per ususal I’m the first to get here. When I walk into the
kitchen, I see a bunch of roses on the counter with a note on the side. The note
reads:
“No cooking today we are going out on a date. Be beautiful and I will pick you up at 7pm, don’t be late!”
Yaasssss, I really wasn’t looking forward to cooking tonight. After putting the
beautiful roses in the vase, I go and bath so I can get ready. An hour later I’m
ready and Lwa walks in to freshen up then we leave.

We are eating our food and having a great time with my hubby. With work and
everything I forget to appreciate how good it is to just have a conversation
with Lwa, we both compliment each other’s crazy, this man right here is my
best friend.

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“Before I forget babe we have a docters appointment tomorrow at 1pm”, he
says.
“Docters appointment? Are you not feeling well?”
“No, I’m fine, I just want us to do a check up.”
“Is it necessary?”
“Yes, I didn’t want us to have to actually go there but right now I need to figure
out why we aren’t pregnant maybe they is something wrong with us.” Ok now I
might be in trouble, I need to tell Lwa the truth.
“They is nothing wrong with us Lwa.”
“But they could be, I read that after losing a baby a womans womb might get
damaged and she might not be able to conceive again.” Ok now wait a minute.
“So, are you insinuating that I am the one that has a problem?” Lwa’s
comment is really getting me upset.
“No babe that’s not what I meant, can we please just go to the docter
tomorrow.”
“So that we can check if I have a problem?” I really do feel insulted.
“Sthandwa sami that’s enough you know that’s not what I meant. They is
nothing wrong with you I just want to make sure that we are both ok.
“Can we please leave I think I just lost my appertite.” Ok yes I have been
deceitful but what Lwa just said is really upsetting. Out of all the things why
would he think that I won’t be able to conceive again? I’m hurt actually more
then I am mad.
“Come on MaMthimkhulu.”
“I want to leave.” He pays for the bill and we leave, what an awful end to a
beautiful night. In the car they is an awkward silence, its very tense. I actually
feel like crying. I have a lot of things on my mind right now.
“Sthandwa sami ngyaxolisa I can see that what I said came out the wrong way
but I didn’t mean it like that. I’m looking forward to having a child with you and
right now I’m desperate for answers I need to know why it’s taking so long. I’m
sorry if it seemed like I’m blaming you.” Lwa sounds defeated I know he really
is sorry.
“What if Lwa I won’t be able to give you a baby? What will happen then? Will
you take another wife? Will you divorce me?” I know that Lwa would never do
this to me but these are all the things going in my mind right now.

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“Ntandokazi!!” he says with a firm voice. I look at him with my teary eyes. He
was getting angry but after looking at my teary eyes he seems more worried.
“You are being unfair manje Sthandwa sami.” I say nothing, whats hurting me
more right now is that he choses not to answer my questions.

We get home and I storm into the house leaving him behind. I want to get
wasted and go to bed. I grab a bottle of champagne in the fridge and a glass
then I head to the outdoor lounge. I need some air. Now I can’t stop thinking
what would happen if I actually can’t have kids. Just because I’m on
contraceptives right now it doesn’t mean I don’t want to have kids, I love kids
and nothing would make me happier like being a mother. I just want to
accomplish a few things first.
“Can we talk?” he says taking a seat next to me. I’m so deep into my thoughts
that I didn’t even notice him approaching me.
“Not now Lwandile, I just need some space.”
“Drowning yourself in alcohol wont fix things.” I gulp my glass one more time.
“We will go see the docter tomorrow but besides that I have nothing to say.”
He pulls me close to him and I lay my head on his chest. I’m still upset but I can
slowly feel his heart beat calming me down.
“I’m sorry MaMthimkhulu, I really am sorry. I want to have a baby with you
and not with any other woman and as for divorce that will never happen you
are stuck with me for life. To think that I pushed you to the point where you
started thinking like that means I really hurt you but no matter what
Ntandokazi you should never doubt my love for you and what you mean to me.
You are not just my wife but my entire world. We don’t need to go to the
docter its fine I will wait. I hate it when we argue sthandwa sami.” That is really
heart felt, the guilt is hitting me hard.
“I hate it too but I think there something you might…” he kisses me before I
can continue.
“Ngyakthanda.” He says whilst kiss me.
“Ngyakthanda nami.” He then picks me up and we head to bed. I’m guessing
this is not the time to confess to Lwa. I need to do it soon though this is really
eating me, I won’t be able to keep it a secret much longer.

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**********

We just got to Pietermaritzburg, Esihle and Alwande invited us to a braai type

of thing. I used to think it would be awkward introducing Zethu and Lwa to
Alwande because Esihle used to date Shaka but it actually wasn’t. I’m just
happy that both Shaka and Esihle are happy plus it would’ve been complicated
if they were still dating because they are technically in-laws now. We arrive at
Alwandes house which is beautiful if I might add. Akhona and Zethu are
already here, Zethu’s car is parked here amoungst the many cars here. We
were told that this is a mini braai but it seems packed I guess Alwande has
something in common with Lwa, the definition of their mini is completely
different to mine. Esihle welcomes us.
“Mr and Mrs Zungu”, she says hugging us.
“Uyaphapha yazi, how are you doing sis’?”
“I’m good but I can tell you are great. Lwa I don’t know what you are feeding
my sister but don’t stop she is beautiful and glowing”, Esihle.
“You can count on it”, he says winking at me. Lol Lwa is dirty I know exactly
what he is talking about and I shall not entertain him. Esihle catches on and we
laugh.
“Well let us go in.” We walk in and we start miggling.

The vibe here is good. Good people mixed with good food is always a great
combination. I’m seated with my bae and some other people. As usual the
guys are now talking about sports and as women we are not interested so we
excuse ourselves. Esihle and I havent spent time together in a while now.
“So when are you and ‘Shona’ visiting us”, I ask. We call Alwande Shona
because of his resemblance to Shauna Fergurson.
“Soon, Alwa is still a bit intermidted by Lwandile.” lol poor guy, I remember the
early days of their relationship Lwa threatened Alwa and told him that if his
intentions are not good he will have him to deal with him. The poor shy guy
has been intermidated since, they get along but he doesn’t want to over step
his boundaries.
“He is being ridiculous Lwa won’t do him any harm plus it would be fun having
some company, that house gets too empty sometimes.”

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“Then fill it up with Lwa juniors”, Akhona says.
“We will when the time is right, at the moment I have my focus on other
important things.”
“Don’t say that, building a family is also important. I’m sure poor Lwandile
can’t wait to have a baby with you.” Why does Esihle have to guilt trip me
more.
“I didn’t mean it that way but I just mean it can wait. Anyways you guys need
to come soon.” I say trying to change the topic. Lwa walks in at that moment.
“Speak of devil”, Akhona.
“I don’t even want to know what you guys were talking about. Babe where are
the car keys I want to take my other phone in the car.”
“They are in my bag, I left it on the couch.” He lands a kiss on my lips then
leaves.

Its been a great day but unfortunately its time to leave, Lwa has been a bit off.
I don’t know whats wrong but clearly something has upset him. We are on our
way to Durban but he hasn’t said a word to me and that is odd. I tried making
conversation but he kept giving me cold responses.
“Lwandile please tell me whats wrong I don’t like this cold treatment.”
“Ntandokazi don’t you have something to tell me?”
“No, baby what are you talking about?” He goes silent. I know he will have to
talk to me sooner or later.

We get home, Lwandile is really mad I haven’t seen him this mad in a while but
it kills me that he isn’t communicating with me.
“Sthandwa sami enough can you please just talk to me.” I really can’t take this
anymore.
“I found this in you bag”, he says throwing me a pill container. I can’t believe it,
it’s the contraceptives.
“Baby I can explain!”
“How long have you been lying to me?”
“Baby it’s not what you think it is, just please let me explain.”
“HOW LONG DAMNIT??!!” he says shouting at me. I feel my heat race, tears
start rolling down my face.

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“I never stopped using them after we got married.”
“We had agreement Ntandokazi. So I’m the fool, I keep buying pregnancy tests
hoping that you might be pregnant when you know damn well that they is no
chance of that.”
“Baby it’s not that, I wanted to tell you and I’ve tried countless times before
but when the timing is right it’s either we start arguing before I can actally talk
to you about it or you change the subject.” He looks at me with tears in his
eyes. I’m absolutely shattered this is all because of me. He takes the car keys.
“Sthandwa sami can we please talk about this.” He says nothing but proceeds
to the door. I break down and cry. I knew this would be a disaster if he found
out for himself, I wanted to tell him and I’ve tried telling him countless times
before but things never go as planned. I hate the fact that I hurt him like this
but it wasn’t my intention. I will wait until he comes back maybe he would’ve
calmed down by then so we can talk.

It’s been hours since Lwa left to be accurate it’s 2am and he still isn’t back. I’ve
tried calling him a thousand times but he isn’t picking up. I’m worried, what if
something bad has happened to him. I then get a text from him.
“I’m ok, Go to bed I will sleep at Umhlanga tonight.”
I’m annoyed, for the fact that he knows I am not asleep it means he knows I
am worried about him next he tells me he will sleep at Umhlanga. I know he
just wants some space to think but what he is doing is wrong. For now I have to
let things be and we will deal with this tomorrow. I reply to his text.
“Ok be safe. I love you and I’m sorry Manzini.”
“I love you too.”
No matter how mad Lwa is at me the good thing is he still lets me know that he
loves me. I have never slept alone in this house, its lonely without him here. I
miss him. I know I messed up, I kept this away from him for a long time I
should’ve tried more but I guess they is no use crying after spilt mik now I just
have to fix this.

It’s in the morning and I am on my way to work. I woke up extra early prepared
breakfast and delievered it to Umhlanga along with a pair of ironed clothes and
toiletries. When I got there he was still asleep, I tried waking him up but he

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wasn’t budging and it seems like he slept drunk yesterday because the whole
room was smelling like a brewery. I will sneak out of work to check on him
again in the next hour or two. I get to work and as usual Phila comes to my
desk with a cup of coffee.
“Thank’s Phii but I am going to need something stronger then coffee.”
“Whats wrong? You look tired.”
“I didn’t get much sleep yesterday, Lwa and I got into an argument.”
“How big?”
“Us not even sleeping in the same house type of big.” Phila is shocked.
“Ntando what did you do to that fine piece of chocolate.”
“He found out about the contraceptives Phila.” Phila is the only one who
knows about this whole thing about contraceptives and Lwa wanting a baby. It
was becoming too much for me to keep to myself so I needed someone to vent
to.
“But Ntando I told you tell him.”
“I know Phila and I’ve tried but it hasn’t been that easy, we never get to it.”
“So what now?”
“I don’t know honestly, I need to try talking to him and explain everything. I
miss my husband and I won’t spend another night without him. This is all my
fault vele.” Tears come to my eyes as I say this. Phii comes to hug me.
“Please don’t cry Ntando. That man loves you, he just needed some time to
process everything and calm down. I’m sure if he listens to your reasoning he
will understand.”
“I hope so.” To be honest I don’t know how I’m even going to work this has
been the only thing on my mind.

I just got to the house in Umhlanga, Lwa is still here he didn’t even bother
going to work. I walk into the house and head straight upstairs. I open the
bedroom door and there he is wet, with only a bath towel on and his chest is
bare. This reminds me of the that very first day he asked me out.
“Lwandile can we please talk” I say.
“Arent you supposed to be at work?”
“How am I supposed to work with things like this between us?”
“Ntandokazi why did you lie to me?”

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“Sthandwa sami it really was not my intention. My plan was for me to finish
with my board exams and after that I can look forward to starting a family. Lwa
I also have goals and I want to see myself achieving them, you are already a
successful man and I also want to be a successful woman. It’s really important
for me to achieve my goals and I want to focus.”
“Why didn’t you tell me all of this?”
“I tried Lwa but you always took at this the wrong way. You either perceived it
as if I’m putting my career in front of our family or I think having a career is
important than having a family and its not even like that. Ngyakthanda
Lwandile and I’ve given up the days of my youth and other carreer
opportunities because I want to be your wife and I would do it over and over
again because I love you but I also have dreams to chase that existed long
before I became your wife and I owe it to myself to go after them. I know being
deceitful was not the right way to go about this and I am sorry.”
“I know that you are an ambitious woman Ntando and that is one of the things
I love about you so I would never want to stop from accomplishing your goals
so if I ever made it seem like I wanted you to choose between that and building
a family with me then I’m the one who is sorry because it wasn’t my intention.
I love you Ntandokazi but this is not how we do things, I feel disrespected and
like I’m a fool. You should’ve kept trying to talk to me, yes I want to have kids
with you badly but I also understand you have dreams to chase if you
explained this to me as it is I would’ve understood.”
“I know I was wrong and I really am sorry. I miss my husband.” He comes near
me and places my head on his chest and he holds me. Déjà vu.
“And I miss my wife. It’s fine, we will wait until you finish writing your exam.”
“Ngampela sthandwa sami?”
“Yes but under one condition.” I nod my head excitedly.
“No more deceit, we’ve never had communication problems and it won’t start
now. I will try being more attentive to the things you say to me.”
“Ok thank you so much sthandwa sami. I love you so much.”
“I love you even more.” Gosh I’m so glad that the water is under the bridge. I
hate it when Lwa and I argue, it breaks my heart.

It’s in the afternoon and I’m back home earlier than usual, Lwa decided to go

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to work after I left earlier. On my way back from home I decided to buy a little
sexy number, tonight I want to make peace with my baby properly. I need to
get started on the pots, get table set for our romantic dinner and then freshen
up and wait for my man. I’m so excited.

Everything is done, checked in with my bae and he should be arriving any

minute. I’m wearing my sexy number and a kimono on top. The table is set and
all is ready. I’m in the kitchen waiting for him. I hear the garage door open and
I am anxious. He walks in and he is jaw dropped, he freezes for a while.
“How was your day my husband?” I ask going towards him.
“Not as good as its about to be.” I kiss him, for a moment I find myself losing
myself. He grabs on to my waist.
“Thank you”, I say staring into his eyes.
“For what?”
“Being a loving, caring and understanding husband. So, tonight I am going to
cater for you and fulfil all your needs as a token of my appreciation.”
“All of my needs?” he says giving me the dirty smile.
“Yes all of your needs, dinner is ready so follow me.”
“I can’t have dinner with you looking sexy like this.”
“Then what does my husband want?”
“To reap off what you are wearing…”
“I’m listening.”
“Place your body here.” He says placing his hand on the counter table.
“Oh! that’s interesting, then what?” He starts unbuttoning his shirt.
“Just wait and see.” He pulls my waist towards him and starts kissing me. We
are both breathing heavily. This is exciting. He does just as he said he would
and he gets on top of me then starts kissing my body slowly. Right now this
feels like torture. He then slides in me, literally fucking my brains out. I’m
enjoying it even though it feels my cookie is about to fall out as he goes out.
“Apologise”, he says. Ok kill me now.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I know this my punishment for not telling him about the pills. It
was due I admit.
“Lying to you, It will never happen again.”

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“Make a Promise!!” I keep quiet because I’m trying catch my breath. I’m
distracted by what Lwa is doing to me.
“I said promise!” he repeats.
“Ok I promise.” I feel my body getting weak.
“I LOVE YOU!!!” I say just as I cum. He looks at me with a dirty smile, clearly
pleased with himself.
“I love you too”, he says after kissing my forehead. He picks up my kimono and
dresses me. I pick up the clothes that are on the floor and throw them in the
washing machine. He hugs me from behind.
“You are such a handful Lwa.”
“But you still love me. Thank you for the starter, now we can have dinner.”
“Then follow me.” I know sometimes Lwa and I act like high school lovers but
its what I love about us. I wouldn’t wan’t to exchange my husband for anything
in this world. He makes me happy and I also can’t wait for us to have miniture
us’s running around.

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 Chapter 18

I can’t believe that in less then two months I will be writing my last SAICA
board examination meaning that I can expect to get my qualification soon. I am
so excited and a bit nervous, I’ve been working towards this all my life. Lwa has
been such a supportive husband through my journey. Today we are heading to
Ladysmith to visit my mum. I am so excited, I haven’t seen them in a while.
Olwethu comes to visit us often, it’s my mum that I’m anxious to see.
“You look different babe.” Lwa says.
“Different how?”
“You’ve gained a bit and you are glowing. You are just beautiful.”
“Are you trying to say that I am fat?”
‘No I’m saying that you are perfect.” Ok but I have no reason to be mad I have
gained a bit of weight because I have been neglecting the gym. Clearly, I need
to go back.
“I know I’ve gained a bit. I will start gym again on Monday.”
“No! you are not listening that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you look
breath taking.” I let out a smile. I am blushing.
“Thank you sthandwa sami.” We share a kiss. But I’m still going back to the
gym I can’t keep expanding, I promised myself that I am not going past 34.
“Let’s get going babe.”

We get home and my mum comes to welcome us.

“Nana wami, how are you doing?” she says embracing me. My mum still calls
me nana but I’ve been married for over a year now.
“Ma you need to stop calling me that.”
“You will always be my baby. Mkhwenyana how are you doing?” she says
letting go of me to hug Lwa.
“I’m good ma, how are you doing?”
“I am happy that you are here. What have you been feeding my daughter she
looks great.”
“Mama I’m not that fat.” I’m still within the same size and some people won’t
even notice that I’ve gained its just that Lwa and Ma notice too much.
“I didn’t say that you were, you are glowing.” I honestly don’t see the glow

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they are talking about.
“Well ma I guess she is in good hands. I’m glad I’m not the only one that see’s
it.”
“She definitely is, it makes me happy to see my baby like this.” Ok maybe I
should just make peace with this all thing of me being called a baby. We walk
in and we head straight to my room to leave the bags. We brought mum
groceries and clothes. My mum is a lot like me we love clothes so you best to
believe she is excited. I head to the kitchen to prepare something for Lwa to
eat, while he watches tv.
“Are you pregnant?” my mum asks. I’m shocked.
“NO!! Haw ma, what makes you think I’m pregnant?”
“You are glowing like how you were glowing when you were pregnant.”
“I’m not pregnant ma.”
“Ok but when will you give that man kids?”
“Soon ma.”
“But Ntando…”
“Ma!!!” I say with a firm voice before she could continue.
“Ok OK but I was just saying, we want grandchildren. Soon.”
“And you shall get them. Lwa isn’t putting any pressure on me, we have our
own plan so can you please just let us do our own thing.”
“Ok I will drop the subject.” I go serve Lwa his food. The moment he takes one
bite he gets up and runs to the toilet and I follow him, he vomits. It’s almost 3
years now I’ve been with Lwa and he has never even had a flu so I am worried.
“Baby are you ok?” I ask handing him a glass of water.
“Yes, I am ok I don’t know what that was about.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure.” I head back to the lounge and taste the burger, its perfectly
fine. I take it and I give him a sandwich instead.
“Better?”
“Yes babe, thank you.”
“You might be coming down with a fever or something maybe we should get
you checked out.”
“No, I am fine babe, you are worrying yourself over nothing.” Ok maybe I am
but Lwa has never gotten sick since I met him so I am allowed to panick a bit.

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Olwethu walks in during that moment. He and Lwa get along well now, a little
bit too well if you ask me but I am happy. I hug him and he proceeds to greet
Lwa.
“Sbali, lets got out for some air”, Olwethu says to Lwa. He gets up to kiss my
forehead and they leave. I’m still a bit worried but then again I may be over
reacting over nothing.

It’s dinner, I put in all my effort in preparing tonights meal. We are sitting in
the dinner table.
“So Mkhwenyana when can I expect my grandchildren?” Can the world just
open up and swallow me right now.
“Soon Ma, it was important…” He gets up and runs to the toilet to vomit. Ok
now I am seriously panicking. I follow him giving a glass of water to drink.
“Lwandile are you ok?” my mum asks.
“Yes, ma I’m ok.” He says trying to catch his breath.
“Sthandwa sami I think you need to go to the docter.”
“No, I’ll be ok maybe I ate something that doesn’t sit well with me.” I am
definitely alarmed, I have made up my mind he is going to the docter
tomorrow. We head back to the table and he asks to excuse himself. My mum
being the self-made docter she is she gave him some pills to drink apparently
they will help. I have my dinner then head to bed to check on my sick baby.
“Baby maybe I should make a docters appointment for you tomorrow?”
“No babe I will be ok, its not a big deal.”
“I’m just a bit worried, you have never gotten sick ever since I met you.”
“I know babe but you have nothing to worry about.” I am really not convinced
but for now we will do things his way but if tomorrow we wake up and he still
isn’t well they is no negotiating about this.
“I know you are not convienced”, he says looking at me.
“I’m really not.”
“You worry too much babe.”
“Do you blame me?”
“No, you are a loving and caring wife so I know you would still care even when
I tell you not to but you have nothing to worry about I promise.” That is sweet
in some way. I smile and kiss him.

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“You are such a smooth talker.” We head to bed.

“Babe”, I hear Lwa call out waking me out from my deep sleep.
“Whats wrong sthandwa sami?” I say in a sleepy voice.
“I’m going out to buy some ice cream.” I look at the time and it is flippen 1am.
Who craves for ice cream at 1am??!!
“Can’t it wait baby until the morning?”
“No, I’ve been tossing and turning for about 2 hours now and I am craving it
badly. Please come with me.” Ngyalingwa yini? I am so sleepy, what is this
man doing to me??
“Lwa you can’t be serious.”
“Come with me!” The perks of being married. I roll myself out of bed, we
change then Lwa and I sneak out of the house like two teenagers. We drive to
Wimpy and he orders his ice cream and I a cup of tea. You see when Lwa said
he was craving for ice cream I didn’t think he was actually craving for ice
cream, I just thought it was something he said just to get me out of bed. They
might be a first time for everything but Lwa does not have a sweet tooth what
so ever.
“Since when are you an ice cream fan?” I ask while he digs in his ice cream.
“To be honest it’s a shocker to me as well the last time I had ice cream was
when I was 10 years old.”
“That’s odd, no normal person wakes up their wife at 1am to go an ice cream
spree.”
“I’m sorry babe but I didnt want to go alone.”
“It’s fine baby.” Lwa orders his fifth ice cream and I am absolutely astonished.
This is nothing like my Lwa but when the cravings got you, they’ve got you. We
finally head back home, I’m still very much sleepy. I really value my sleep.

It’s in the morning, I’m in the kitchen making breakfast with my mum and the
boys are still asleep. To be honest I also wish I was still in bed but they is no
way my mum would allow that. Everytime when I am here she expects me to
wake earlier then everyone in the house so I can prepare food for Lwa, I used
to be annoyed by this before because no matter what time I wake up I still
wake up before Lwa does. The only place I can seem to get rest now is in my

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house.
“Is Lwandile ok?” my mum asks. I know she is worried about him.
“He assured me it’s nothing ma but I am still not at ease.”
“Men are like that mntanami they will only admit to being sick once things are
very bad. You should take him to the Docter.”
“I asked him to make an appointment ma but he refused.”
“Then call in a docter just to check if he is ok.” Ok ma has a point. If he won’t
go to the docter, I should bring the docter to him.
“Ok that I will do. Let me go check on the patient”, I say. I get to my room and
Lwa isn’t there. I go to look for him at the bathroom and there he is vomiting in
the basin. This is enough for me to conclude that I am dragging Lwa to the
Docter, Now! I won’t take any of his excuses.
“Ok that’s it I’m taking you to the docter”, I say patting on his back. He rinses
his face and proceeds normally like he didn’t just hear what I said.
“No I am not going to the docter, it’s probably because of the ice cream I ate.
They is no need for a docter.”
“It’s not negotiable Lwandile Zungu. Take a bath, come down for breakfast and
after that we will head to the docter.” I really need to put my foot down
because even at his death bed Lwa will still refuse to go to the docter.
Especially with this Listerosis outbreak you will never know.

We are at the docter impatiently waiting for the results of the tests the docter
took.
“Well Mr Zungu, I can’t seem to trace anything. You seem like you are in
perfectly good health, but I will give you some pills that might help. We will
continue to run more tests and if anything comes up we will let you know”, the
docter says. This is odd.
“Thank you docter for verifying what I have been telling my wife”, Lwa.
“Please run some more test and stay in touch. I don’t understand what could
cause the vomiting.” I really am still worried, what the docter just said means
nothing.
“Since you said its only happened three times it could be just a problem with
the acids in his tounge. It makes the food he eats taste foul.”
“Ok thank you Doc”, Lwa says with a smile on his face. We then leave.

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“You see I told you they is nothing to worry about.”
“But I am the wife, its my duty to worry. I am still not at ease, we will see
whether the pills are effective or not. If they are not we are going to another
docter for a second opinion.” He looks at me in amusement.
“I have no problem with that my beautiful wife”, he says kissing my forehead.
Sometimes I know I smother Lwa alot but he is the love of my life. I need to
take care of him.

**********

It’s a Wednesday and its luch time at work. Lwa is still having his ‘morning
sicknesses’ and his ice cream cravings are worse. A few days back he brought 5
tubs of that woolies ice cream and that is all he eats now. He says that its still
too soon to notice significant change because it hasn’t even been a week but I
am not pleased so I made a docters appointment that is in the next 30
minutes. He said he would pick me up from the office.
“So darling where are you going?” Phila asks seeing me checking myself in the
mirror.
“The docter.”
“Ow my gosh! You are pregnant!!” Lol iheee I don’t know whether to take
offence to that or not.
“No, I am not are you implying that I’m fat?”
“Ow no that’s not what I meant, I mean you have gained a few kilo’s here and
there but you just have this unresistable glow.” Nakho ke ngama glow again.
“Well I am not pregnant, I’m taking bae Lwa to the docter he hasn’t been
feeling well.”
“Ugrh my fantasy bae, whats wrong?”
“I don’t know he has been vomiting every morning from when were in
Ladysmith. We went to the docter but the pills he gave him don’t seem to be
working. I swear if he was a woman I would conclude that he is pregnant”
“I hope he gets well soon.”
“I hope so too.” My phone rings, its Lwa.
“Sthandwa sami?”
“I’m downstairs babe.”

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“Ok I’m coming.” I pick up my hand bag and say good bye to Phila. I get to the
car and he is eating a McFlurry.
“Did you even have lunch?”
“This is my lunch.”
“That is not lunch Lwandile!!” I’m abit upset. I don’t like this thing of Lwandile
skipping meals. It worries me.
“If it makes you happy I will buy a sandwich when I go back to the office.”
“Please sthandwa sami” He takes my hand and kisses it. We get to the docter
and Lwa just explained whats been going on lately.
“Can I please take blood samples from the both of you”, the docter instructs.
Lwa and I look at each other confused. I nod. The docter withdraws the blood
and within minutes he comes back with the result.
“Well congratulations Mr and Mrs Zungu you are 8 weeks prenant.”
“What??”, Lwa and I say in both amusment and shock. I’m confused, I’m still
on contraceptives.
“But docter my wife is taking contraceptives and why am I the one getting
sick?”
“Well even so, contraceptives are not a 100% accurate even if they are taken
accurately. You Mr Zungu are experiencing what we call sympathy pregnancy.
Meaning you are the one experiencing all the craving and the morning
sicknesses instead of your wife.” I grab on to Lwa’s hand I’m so excited, Lwa is
still a bit confused. He looks at me with a smile on his face.
“We are going to have a baby”, I say. Then he kisses me on the cheek.
“Do you want to do your first ultrasound?” We both nod excitedly. I’m excited
to have Lwa here with me, the first ultrasound I did with Langa he wasn’t here.
While the docter moves the camera on me explaining everything, he stops for
a while and looks at the screen properly.
“Is everything ok docter?”, Lwa asks. We are both worried this is very alarming.
“This is amazing”, he says still looking at the screen. Ok now we are confused.
He continues, “It’s still early days but you see this right here”, he says pointing
to the screen.
“Yes, docter what is it?”
“It’s another head. You are having twins.”
“Twins??!” Lwa says in excitement. The docter giggles.

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“Well that’s the first time I’ve heard a husband say that in excitement and yes
you are having twins. The ultrasounds will get clearer as the months go by and
you will also be able to see them. Let me give you two a minute”, the docter
says excusing herself.
“Twins??”, I say.
“Yes twins”, he says excitedly. I’m a bit scared.
“Lwa what if I won’t be able to carry these babies to full term.” I say with tears
in my eyes.
“Don’t think like that sthandwa sami. I know you are scared but I am here and I
will do everything possible to make sure that no complications happen. We will
go to a docter every week if we have to ok? We are having these babies”, he
says while hugging me.
“Ok, twins!! I’m going to be huge”, I say again taking a deep breath. He giggles.
“You are going to be beautiful.” Lwa always makes me feel good about myself,
he never makes me feel like I am imperfect.
“Are ready?”, I ask.
“I’ve been looking forward to this moment right here so yes I am ready.”
“They are going to be a handful just like their father.”
“That’s why we will have you” he says laughing. Lol did he just say that? I
punch him lightly on the chest.
“I’m kidding, that’s why I am here. Don’t worry we’ve got this. Ngyakthanda
and thank you.”
“Ngyakthanda nami but what are you thanking me for?”
“For giving me a chance to be you boyfriend at the beginning, your husband
now and the father of our children growing in you. I know that our journey
hasn’t been the easiest but we are still together and you have given me your
unconditional love.” Tears roll down my eyes, I am really touched.
“Wena uyiphakade lami (you are my forever) my life wouldn’t be the way it is if
it weren’t for you. I love you with all I am.” He smiles and then kisses me. So
that’s is it I am going to have to have a baby with my best friend, my husband
and my soul mate. Lwa and I have been through a lot. Our relationship has
faced trials and tribulations since the beginning but we have overcomed
everything. When I lost Langa, that was the lowest point I have ever been in
my life, with Lwa not beside me I felt my whole life break down. I have to

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admit that that was our biggest challenge but here we are now. Still madly
inlove with each other, with our love stronger each day. Our journey moved
from being strangers, to being lovers, to being husband and wife and now
again I am going to give my husband the thing he yerns the most and that is
children. No words can explain how happy I am. The excitement in his eyes
right now gives me life. They is one thing I am always certain of and that is,
that this man right here is the man for me. Lwandile Zungu is my whole heart.

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