5 Awkward Things God Will Let Happen When You Meet The One

5 Awkward Things God Will Let Happen When You Meet The One | ApplyGodsWord.
com 11/4/2022, 1:41 AM
5 Awkward Things God Will Let

Happen When You Meet The One
by Mark Ballenger Tuesday, May 11, 2021
Ephesians 4:15
Here are 5 awkward things that often need to happen when God is
revealing the one to you.
https://applygodsword.com/5-awkward-things-god-will-let-happen-when-you-meet-the-one/ Page 1 of 8
5 Awkward Things God Will Let Happen When You Meet The One | ApplyGodsWord.com 11/4/2022, 1:41 AM
5 Awkward Things God Will Let Happen When You Meet The One
1. When God Leads You to the One, There Is Often an Awkward

Season of Expressing Interest and Gauging Interest
Everyone’s story is different. Some people just click instantly and there is
no awkwardness at all. But for the vast majority of couples, this is not the
case.
As Christians, we know that God has a plan for our lives, including when it
comes to our future marriages. But we have a tendency to romanticize
what this process will look like which causes the reality of the situation
when it actually occurs to be very confusing sometimes.
For example, you may think that God will reveal the one by allowing you
two to have instant chemistry that is clear and straightforward. But more
often than not, God will allow you two to go through a very awkward
“feeling out” process at the beginning of your connection.
When you really take a step back and look at the reality of marriage, it
makes sense that God starts most relationships off with confusion and
awkwardness because throughout their future marriage there will always
be a need to communicate and express inner feelings because your
spouse won’t magically know what you are thinking just because you are
married. So it should be no surprise that right from the beginning of your
relationship, God will force you two to communicate and express your
inner feelings verbally and with actions rather than just waiting for the
other person to read your mind.
Notice the link between learning to speak the truth in love and maturing as
a Christian found in Ephesians 4:15, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we
are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ . . . .”
Your future spouse won’t be able to read your mind in marriage, they
won’t be able to read your mind in dating, and they won’t be able to read
your mind before dating. So you two will have to go through that awkward
stage of expressing interest and gauging interest before you become an
official couple.
2. Before the Relationship Can Get “Serious,” There Needs to Be a

DTR, Which Can Often Be Awkward
A DTR stands for a “define the relationship” talk. There are different levels
to these types of conversations. My rule of thumb is that anytime you
want the relationship to go to a different level, there usually needs to be a
DTR.
So when you go from non-dating to dating, you have to have a DTR. Or

when you go from dating to engaged, you have to have a DTR. But one
phase that often gets overlooked which then causes a long period of
unnecessary confusion is the need for a DTR so a couple can go from
“just dating” to being in a “serious” relationship.
When I use the phrase “serious relationship,” I’m referring to that type of
relationship that is still before engagement but the couple is clearly very
connected with each other and starting to think about marriage. They are
not totally sure the other person is “the one,” but they are hoping they are
and they are starting to believe they are.
But this is a very vulnerable time in the relationship because during dating
you are in this balancing act of opening up to someone while still guarding
your heart because you know you are not married yet. So eventually there
needs to be a conversation that can be awkward about where this thing is
going. Someone needs to break the ice and say, “So, it seems like we are
getting really serious and possibly headed towards marriage one day. I’m
not saying we should get engaged right now, but I just want to see if we
are on the same page and feel like we are both headed in the same
direction on this journey together.”
Again, that’s just an example. You two will have to use your own words.
But before you can go from dating to engaged, there is usually an
awkward middle phase that redefines the relationship as more than being
just a casual boyfriend a girlfriend into a couple who are seriously
considering marriage in the somewhat near future. You are not ready to
commit to marriage yet, but you are also clearly headed in the direction.
As Song of Solomon 2:7 (NIV) states, “Do not arouse or awaken love until
it so desires.” This verse implies that there is a process to fully awakening
love. There’s a time that is not right and then there is a time that is right.
And along the journey, there will need to be some conversations that can
feel awkward.
3. When You Meet The One, Relevant Past Relationship Information

Needs to Be Shared Along With Relevant Future Goals
One question that pops into my email box now and then goes something
like this, “I’m starting to get serious with this person I really like, but I don’t
know how much I need to share about my past relationship sins. What
should I say or not say?”
This is one of those types of questions I don’t think there is a clear right or
wrong answer to. Usually people are referring to past sexual sins. What
often happened was that someone sinned sexually in their past, perhaps
with many people, but then they later came back to the Lord and
repented. Now they are walking with the Lord and prepared to be in a
godly relationship. They meet a godly person, but they wonder how much
of their former life they need to share with this person.
Again, I don’t want to say you have to share this detail from your past or
you have to share that detail from your past. I don’t think there is a clear
rule here that makes this a right or wrong issue. But here’s a few principles
I think you should follow:
Never lie (Ephesians 4:25). If someone asks you if you are a virgin
and you are not, then don’t lie. That doesn’t mean you need to share
specific details about your sinful past, but you also both need to
know enough to know whether or not you want to be together or not.
Remember the gospel promise of new life. If someone wants to judge
you based on your past life of sin, this is a sign you should probably
not be with them because they don’t understand the power of the
gospel to truly change our hearts (1 John 1:9, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 2
Corinthians 3:17-18).
Treat others how you want to be treated (Luke 6:31). If there is
something in your past that you would want to know if this person
had that in their past, this is a good sign you should talk about it.
The other part to this type of conversation is the future. The past is what it
is. But the future is moldable. This means there is room to compromise
with each other. But if you know there is a clear direction you will be
walking towards in the future, then it’s best to make this clear before you
two get so connected that this person feels blindsided one day. If you
know you are going to med school, going to the mission field, or going to
move to a different state, these are the types of things you need to share.
It can be awkward to talk about the past and the future with someone you
are not yet fully committed to, but when God reveals the one, eventually
you two will have to have these types of difficult conversations.
For more on this topic, you may want to read my article called, When,
Why, and How to Talk About Your Past Sexual Sins with Your New
Christian Partner.
4. When You Meet The One, Eventually You Need to Discuss Your
Philosophy of Marriage
When someone goes through seminary, eventually they are required to

write a paper that is usually titled with something like, “Philosophy of
Ministry.” As Bible-believing Christians, there are certain truths and
practices that unite us that we can all agree on. But if you’ve gone to more
than one church in your life, you will quickly realize there are many things
each ministry does differently. There will be some key similarities and
some key differences. For example, some churches are fine doing topical
preaching sermons while other churches believe in only preaching
through books of the Bible. This would be a part of their “philosophy of
ministry.”
Likewise, when it comes to marriage, there are many things all Bible-
believing Christians need to agree on. For example, being faithful to your
husband or wife is non-negotiable (Exodus 20:14). But, when it comes to
the roles of a husband and wife, there will be some differences between
the different Christian couples out there. Long story short, there are
countless issues that can be very important to some people. When you
meet the one, you two will need to talk about your philosophy of marriage.
How do you both view a “healthy marriage,” what do you want to
accomplish together as a couple, how do you want to raise children, and
so on?
Sometimes these conversations make it clear that the person you thought
was the one is not really the one. It can be awkward, but before you can
fully commit to someone in marriage, it is very wise to first talk about your
beliefs about marriage and how it should look.
5. When You Meet The One, You Two Will Need to Make Sure You Are
Actually Spiritually Compatible
“Compatibility” is truly an overrated term in my view when it comes to the

ingredients of a healthy relationship. What I mean is that there are healthy
couples who are very similar to each other and there are healthy couples
who are very different than one another. The personal traits that make us
all unique are important. But the keys to a healthy relationship are not
dependent on personal preferences; they are dependent on character and
spiritual maturity in Christ.
With that said, “spiritual compatibility” is different (2 Corinthians 6:14,

Philippians 2:2-5). This isn’t about what type of worship music you enjoy
or what type Bible studies you like most. Rather, this is about your core
beliefs as a Christian. Are you two compatible enough in your spirituality
and Christian beliefs to be a healthy married couple that enjoys life
together? That is not always an easy question to answer, and thus there
needs to be some difficult and sometimes awkward conversations about
core beliefs.
There are basically three main tiers when it comes to spiritual differences.
If you don’t know about these three tiers, I encourage you to read this
article right here: Theological Differences in Dating and Marriage and How
to Handle Both. This article will help you learn what type of differences are
grounds to go your separate ways or to simply compromise on.
Looking for Christian counseling? Consider going to my sponsor, Faithful Counseling: Click here
to learn more!
You may also like:
3 Signs God Is Preparing You for a Relationship After…

Should You Even Try to Get Married If We Are…
4 Ways to You Stop Unwanted, Intrusive Sexual Thoughts (Christian…
4 Ways Satan Is Trying to Trick You to Fall…
5 Things God Will Do When He’s Preparing You to…
A Prayer for When You’re Hurting

5 Awkward Things God Will Let Happen When You Meet The One

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

5 Awkward Things God Will Let Happen When You Meet The One

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

5 Awkward Things God Will Let Happen When You Meet The One | ApplyGodsWord.

com 11/4/2022, 1:41 AM

5 Awkward Things God Will Let

1. When God Leads You to the One, There Is Often an Awkward

2. Before the Relationship Can Get “Serious,” There Needs to Be a

So when you go from non-dating to dating, you have to have a DTR. Or

3. When You Meet The One, Relevant Past Relationship Information

When someone goes through seminary, eventually they are required to

“Compatibility” is truly an overrated term in my view when it comes to the

With that said, “spiritual compatibility” is different (2 Corinthians 6:14,

You may also like:

3 Signs God Is Preparing You for a Relationship After…

You might also like