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Understanding sexual response

Each person has unique sexual response experiences which are directly influenced by
thoughts, fantasies, abilities, real life experiences, stage of life, relationships, medications,
and physical and emotional wellness. No two people are the same in how they respond
sexually; therefore, it is really important to know yourself and your body well so you can be
as aware and comfortable as possible with your process. There are a number of theories
about sexual response cycles; some older ( Masters and Johnson); some newer (Kaplan);
and some gender specific (Basson, Whipple and Brash-McGreer). It’s essential to recognize
that each person is individual in their expression and experiences of sexual response. These
are the five phases of sexual response:

Desire

Sexual desire is often defined as a desire or want to experience sexual feelings and/or
activities, intimacy or gratification  without or with a partner(s). There are many influences on
sexual desire and it is achieved differently for different people but generally it involves re

Excitement – Sexual Arousal

Arousal is the next part of sexual pleasure, when a person is becoming sexually
excited. Sexual arousal usually begins in the brain. The brain sends messages throughout the
body to prepare us for sex. This arousal can be stimulated by thought, fantasy, conversation,
smell, touch, taste, sound, sight, etc. There is huge diversity in what a person finds sexually
exciting and this may varies from person to person as it is influenced by culture, age, stages,
relationships, cycles, etc. Sexual arousal may occur suddenly and intensely or it may be a
slower progression. Each person is unique in their experiences of sexual arousal.

In all people:

 Heart rate increases

 Blood pressure increases
 Muscles throughout the body become more tense
 Nipples become erect
 Skin may become flushed

Differing Genital changes:

 vagina relaxes and begins to lubricate

 the clitoris becomes larger and more erect
 the inner labia swells and outer labia separate
  the uterus and cervix retracts slightly
 Penis becomes erect
 Scrotum thickens
 Testicles rise closer to the body

Plateau

Contrary to the word, the plateau phase of sexual response is not a leveling off of sexual
excitement; it actually continues to grow and this phase may last several seconds to minutes.
A person may feel physical and emotional excitement and have physically sensations of
sensitivity, warmth and even appear flushed. This phase can take a person to a level of
altered consciousness – it’s often referred to as “the heat of the moment or the throes of
passion.” It can feel incredibly intoxicating and be difficult to make intentional decisions at this
point in the response cycle.

Orgasm

Orgasm is an intense, pleasurable feeling that occurs at the end of the Plateau phase.
Orgasm is usually the most intense peak of the sexual response cycle. It is also the shortest
of all phases in the cycle. It occurs when the sexual and muscular tension (especially those in
the pelvis) built up is released in a series of quick pleasurable contractions. It is the peak of
sexual arousal, and is also called the climax. The experience of orgasm differs from person to
person and experience to experience. It can feel quick and intense or slow and relaxed.  

Resolution

The end stage of sexual arousal is called resolution. During the resolution period, a relaxation
of the muscles as well as psychologically will occur. The blood that has moved into the
genitals will drain out slowly. The body returns to the way it was before sexual arousal.
Resolution happens whether or not someone experiences an orgasm.

When a person with a penis enters the resolution phase, they lose their erection and
experiences what is called the refractory period.  This is the period of time it takes a person
with a penis to experience another erection. The duration of the refractory period usually
increases with age and/or other medical conditions. People with vaginas do not experience a
refractory period; they may be sexually aroused again quickly.
 http://kolibri.teacherinabox.org.au/modules/en-boundless/www.boundless.com/psychology/
textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/gender-and-sexuality-15/sex-413/biology-of-sexual-
behavior-300-12835/index.html

The biology of human sexuality includes the reproductive system and the sexual response
cycle, as well as the factors that affect them.

 The biological aspects of human sexuality include the reproductive system, the sexual

response cycle, and the neurological and hormonal factors that affect these processes.
 Females have both external genitalia (known as the vulva) and internal reproductive organs
(including the ovaries, uterus, fallopian tubes, and vagina).
 Males also have both internal and external genitalia; the main sex organs are the penis and
testicles.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/difference-between-love-
lust_n_5b2a965ee4b0321a01cd46ba

Lust is about a physical connection. Love is about an emotional connection.

“Lust feels like you intensely want to have sex with someone. Love feels like you want to have
sex with someone and be emotionally close to them, too. Love means you want to spend time
with your partner and listen to his or her needs and emotions to feel connected. You also are
interested in meeting your beloved’s friends. Lust means you’re more interested in having sex
than having intimate conversations or meeting the person’s friends.” ― Dr. Judith Orloff,
psychiatrist and author of The Empath’s Survival Guide

Love increases with time. Lust decreases with time.

“Love is rooted in attachment and bonding that grows over time. Lust is rooted in intense
desire and fades over time. Lust feels like a rollercoaster of emotions driven by biological
forces and activated by our reward center, driven by desire for pleasure and connection. Love
feels like the desire and need for attachment with biological, sociocultural, and psychological
factors that determine its development.” ― Shannon Chavez, psychologist and sex therapist

https://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/sexuality-definitions.pdf

In a human context, the distinction between gender and SEX reflects the usage of these
terms, gender implies the psychological, behavioral, social, and cultural aspects of being
male or female (i.e., masculinity or femininity.)