I took a seat at a table in a quiet corner of the school library. Equipped with a pencil, a notebook and encouraging enthusiasm.

I sat in front of my notebook, pencil at hand, and tried hard to satisfy my goal of completing a first draft of my college essay. As time passed, my enthusiasm dwindled and the piece of paper meant to be my Common App essay was still blank. I was about to call off the ordeal and revive it on another day until my former chess coach came striding towards me. I welcomed his audience and informed him of my struggle. He sat pondering for a second. In the next moment he asked me something no one has before. Sarah, what makes you different? I thought about his question for a minute or two and this is what I said. At first I did not know how to respond. I began running through a list of activities I had participated in but before I reached the 3rd item on my list he stopped me. No, no, no. I asked what makes YOU different. How many kids do you think have applied to a top-notch school participated in Beta Club when they were in high school? I thought about his question a bit harder and then I had an epiphany. I told him of how I had gotten to Central High School. I included many of the events that brought me to that day, beginning with my childhood life. I was born in a diverse family, containing a father who emigrated from Gaza, Palestine and an African American mother. My father came to the United States to study engineering for several years, with no family or friends in this country, still went to become a renowned engineer in several fields of his study. My mother dealt with and overcame many hardships trying to attain her college degree as she was raising a young child while also working a part time job. My family gave me the strong foundations to build my life on. They allowed me to learn several core values by example and have shown me the way to success through endurance and consistent effort. I learned early on in life to appreciate the virtue of working hard to earn the things I wanted, as well as establishing the difference between things that I need and things that I want. I learned the meaning and the value of honesty, humility, and appreciating others by seeing the potential and goodness in them. My personality and attitude towards life has been the product of my upbringing and my parents commendable efforts. I learned early on to do the right things even if it meant that I will be different than my peers or friends. My educational history, in addition to my family, contributed greatly to who I am today. I first attended a private school in Knoxville, Tennessee. It was there that I began building on the core values my parents had previously instilled in me. I learned not to judge a person based on their color, origin, wealth or social status but rather based on their character. I was able to observe the kindness extended to every man, woman, boy and girl that entered the school by the staff and sought to imitate it in my own behavior. The parents of my class mates shared a common goal to do what ever it takes to promote a nurturing environment for the pupils to grow and learn. I was constantly inspired to be kind and do well in school just by watching the interactions between adults in the school. I was raised around pupils who were from different countries, such as Cambodia, India, Turkey and even Australia, and had different values than my own. It was wonderful observing such beautiful cultures first hand, it taught me to respect others and appreciate beauty in all forms.

Comment [RD1]: Its better, now that you connect this at the end, but I would still add a comment about how hard and long you labored over your essay and why it was so important to you. Its something else that makes you different

It was when I moved to Louisville, Kentucky that I realized that many people were not raised with the values my parents taught me at a young age. Leaving such a closely knit community as the one I was raised in and coming to a place where people were less likely to remember their neighbors names was a major change in my life. The move made me conscious of a deep desire to help others. I know that I can help other people grow from within and appreciate the world around them. I want to help them to see the opportunities that life presents and work to resist the system of not caring that seemed to be so common in Louisville. I realized that I dont want to ignore the problems I see everyday. I want to be a part of the change if not leading it myself. In Louisville, I decided to use my new found passion and get involved in community service. I volunteered to help tutor disadvantaged elementary school children by helping them with their class work and counsel them on social issues. The children I worked with were smart kids who gave me more than I could ever give back. They gave me a deeper appreciation for the little things. Although they were raised in families of different backgrounds, they shared a similar attitude towards life. Working with them inspired me to dig deeper into my community and find more that I could do to help. I decided to work with children from the community center, and from my own school, in helping them realize their potential as well as identify their strengths and encourage higher set goals. Making the transition from hometown to an unfamiliar college campus will be another big change that will inspire growth. I plan to learn true independence through complete self-reliance and acumen. I aspire to reach beyond the boundaries of average college life, and make a difference. I want to invest time and effort in resolving issues such as the medical reforms with a core group within my college campus. I feel I have much to offer my future college campus as I do posses another dimension that will contribute to the diversity in intellectual thinking. Using everything I have learned to this point I can offer a new perspective to my future college campus. I would like to attend a college with strong focus on academics and intellectual diversity to join other students with similar goals and ambitions who want to make a difference in tomorrows world. I want to challenge myself and others to be the best we can be.

Comment [RD2]: Again, great!

Comment [RD3]: Good specifics

In essence, it is my very character that sets me apart from any other applicant, not a list of activities. My whole life and the circumstances that I encountered up to this point, including my family, the schools, the teachers, the friends, and life events, all contributed to making my distinguished character. Over all of these years I have learned humility and altruism as well as curiosity and diversity of thought. Most importantly, I acquired a desire to pursue something bigger and better than myself. I want to use this desire in college to not only better myself but to better my society and my childrens future. That, I told my former chess coach, is what makes me different.