tr*ggered

Copyright © 2022 by ANJA TODOROVIC - Creatress of

YOUR MIRROR.
All rights reserved.
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 ALo v e no t e . . .
I bring forth these words / these messages and
wrote this book as a tribute to the Higher timeline,
and to the global Heart

NOW more than ever, we need people who are

WILLING to take ownership for how they show
up IN the world

People who are willing to see, speak, hear, feel and

act without the filter of their wounds

People who are willing to UNLEARN FEAR, and

relearn LOVE

People who are willing to BEfriend and integrate

their shadow

People who are done hiding in their shame, guilt

and limitation

People who are WILLING to raise the overall

vibration of the world, by raising the overall
vibration from which THEY personally
operate
 We are HERE

NOW

IN THIS MOMENT

IN THIS TIME

IN THIS SPACE

to show each other UNITY

CONSCIOUSNESS
THE PORTAL IS
IN & THROUGH
EACH OTHER
part 1
 o ur tas k is n ot to s eek f or L ove,
"Y & fin d al l th e
but merely to seeukrself that you have
bar rier s w ith in yo
bu ilt a g ain st it."
Rumi
your relationships are a mirror reflecting your INner
world

every relationship IS an opportunity to

understand yourSelf (and through extension, the
Human condition) on a much deeper, more
profound & INtimate level

every exchange with your Lover / partner (or

perhaps friend or parent) - IS a reflection of an
aspect of yourSelf

relationships can reflect your Light & your

shadow

the more you choose to operate from your

wounded Self - the more your relationships will
reflect your wounds & your victimhood

the more you choose to operate from your

INtegrated Self - the more your relationships
will reflect your wholeness, fullness &
INnateness

the more you choose to BE guided by your

scarcity, or by what you think you lack - the
more unfulfilled you'll BE in your relationships

the more you choose to BE guided by your

abundant nature - the more you will receive in
your relationships
 when you are triggered IN your relationship -
you are BEing given an opportunity to
alchemize your shadow

any conflicts or challenges presented IN your

relationship are an opportunity to learn the true
meaning and practice of u n c o n d i t i o n a l
Love

any conflicts or challenges IN your relationships

are an opportunity to dissolve the lines of
judgment that keep you and your partner
disconnected

every relationship IS a soul agreement

it IS an agreement that two Human BEings are

committed to learning through, and BEing guided by
only the Highest expressions & embodiments of Love

through this soul agreement you are able to reach

Higher states of consciousness - and heal the
afflictions of the world
here IS the tea, sweet one - the Human soul does
not Desire to BE advised, fixed or saved

it simply Desires to BE witnessed - to BE seen,

heard, chosen and companioned exactly as it IS

when we make that kind of deep bow to the soul

of another person, our acknowledgement,
Presence and respect reinforces that soul's
Healing resources - the only resources that can
help the wounded BEcome INtegrated
 WHAT IS A TRIGGER?

a trigger IS a pre-existing condition withIN you

a trigger IS a psychological stimulus that prompts

recall / remembrance / re-experiencing of a
traumatic memory (from childhood, with a
parent, from a previous relationship and so on)

the stimulus itself need not BE (but can BE)

frightening or traumatic, and may BE only
indirectly or superficially reminiscent of an
earlier traumatic incident (such as a scent or a
song for example)

a trigger often results in a pre-programmed /

autonomic (in-voluntary) response

it IS important to INnerstand & acknowledge

the root of a trigger IN order to modulate the
somatic experience of it
 YOUR SHADOWS ARE ...

aspects / pieces / parts of yourSelf & your Human

experience / condition that you resent, hate,
deny, judge, have disowned, have dismissed,
have disassociated from and hide

some elements of your shadow are INherited,

while other's are learned

as such, they can BE unlearned and therefore,

rewired

shadows are usually rooted IN fear

(mixed with shame & guilt)

fear of - BEing seen, BEing too much,

INtimacy, your Truth BEing dismissed ..., and so
on

BEfriending your shadow IS a catalyst IN

cultivating & maintaining unwavering & radical
self-Love
 triggers are your sacred teachers

they indicate where you still need healing -

where you feel limited, where it still hurts, what
needs attention, what needs alchemizing, what
needs transmutation, what needs compassion and
where you lack safety & Trust withIN yourSelf

I INvite you to perceive triggers as a call to

alignment & action ~ from your INner child /
Highest Self

when you don't pick up the phone ~ the

Universe will keep serving the message / lesson
to you

when you ignore triggers ~ they become louder

when you ignore triggers ~ you opt into a

never-ending cycle of pain, suffering +
limitation

the trigger will manifest & present itSelf IN

another way, on another day, through another
person and IN another experience
 whatever you are not changing - you are
choosing

read that again

when you actively ignore the triggers that show

up IN your relationships - it can lead to
distortion, misunderstanding, projections,
separation, isolation, disempowerment, infidelity,
dishonesty, resentment, anger and break-ups

if you are here - and you've made it this far - the

above reality, IS obviously not your intention

wou do not have to hide anymore

wou do not have to be afraid

you do not have to retreat

your trigger IS a portal to your Healing

give yourSelf permission to walk through

you ultimately know what you Desire & prefer IN
relationship

consistency
reliability
accountability
INtimacy
transparency
vulnerability
unconditional Love
connection
beauty
devotion
passion
pleasure
freedom
Truth
Trust
honesty
safety
communication
understanding
compassion
curiosity
willingness to lean IN
 guess what?

all of that Desires you right back, BOO

it IS time to actively choose & cultivate it for

yourSelf
 every time you are triggered you stand at a
crossroads in your consciousness

will you be guided by fear?

will you be guided by your wounded Self?

will you be guided by your INtegrated Self?

will you be guided by Love?

will you play the victim?

will you (re)claim your Power and Sovereignty?

it IS true that you are a creature of habit ...

however, your own awareness and willingness
has the Power to shift the tide of your Human
conditioning & therefore experience
 when you are triggered - there are deeper
emotions / thoughts / feelings / BElief systems
embedded there

it IS not just about that isolated moment IN time

& space

it IS about something that has been festering

INside of you

it IS something that exists INside of you -

regardless of your partner or relationship

it IS something that will show up in every single

relationship until you choose to take radical
responsibility for it

the only way to dissolve the charge and grip that

a trigger has on you and your expression /
embodiment IS to keep overriding the behaviour
/ (re)action attached to it

as you continue to forge & crystallize the new

pathway, you can learn to respond to your
triggers, rather than react to them
 YOUR SHADOWS ARE ...

aspects / pieces / parts of yourSelf & your Human

experience / condition that you resent, hate,
deny, judge, have disowned, have dismissed,
have disassociated from and hide

some elements of your shadow are INherited,

while other's are learned

as such, they can BE unlearned and therefore,

rewired

shadows are usually rooted IN fear

(mixed with shame & guilt)

fear of - BEing seen, BEing too much,

INtimacy, your Truth BEing dismissed ..., and so
on

BEfriending your shadow IS a catalyst IN

cultivating & maintaining unwavering & radical
self-Love
 when you are triggered ~ there are deeper
emotions / thoughts / feelings / BElief systems
embedded there

it IS not just about that isolated moment IN time

& space

it IS about something that has been festering

INside of you

it IS something that exists INside of you -

regardless of this person or situation you are
relating to

it IS something that will show up in every single

relationship until you choose to take radical
responsibility for it

the only way to dissolve the charge and grip that

a trigger has on you and your expression /
embodiment IS to keep overriding the behaviour
/ (re)action attached to it

as you continue to forge & crystallize the new

pathway, you can learn to respond to your
triggers, rather than react to them
THE SUBTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A
REACTION & RESPONSE
reactions are ~ habitual, defensive, explosive,
impulsive, misattuned, unpredictable, without
thought and come woundedness

when you react ~ triggers are / can BE

conflictual, consequential and completely
crippling

responses are ~ clear, calm, collected,

empowered, impactful, thoughtful, and come
from INtegration

when you respond ~ triggers are / can BE

moments of Truth, clarity and expansion

remember that ONE Breath can turn a

reaction INto a response
 COMMON EXAMPLES OF TRIGGER
ENERGETICS
feeling left out
feeling betrayed
feeling unwanted
feeling lied to
feeling out of control
feeling needy
feeling unsafe
feeling like you're BEing treated unfairly
feeling caged / stuck
feeling not respected
feeling misunderstood
feeling undervalued
lack of attention
feeling like you’re too much
feeling like the person IS not listening to you or
what you are saying
feeling like the person IS present
feeling not celebrated
 AN EQUATION TO MEASURE THE
INTENSITY / SEVERITY OF THE
TRIGGER COMING FORTH
A VARIABLE(S) + TRIGGER
= LEVEL OF INTENSITY IN THE TRIGGERED
EVENT

variables

potency of the wound

level of repression of wound
level of exhaustion / lack of sleep
state of body + mind
dietary choices + lifestyle (not eating properly for
example)
accumulated life stressors (before trigger occurs)
constant exposure to environment in which
wound was internalized
constant exposure to a person by which the
wound was inflicted
communicating to this person how they can
support you and feeling unheard
 LEVELS OF INTENSITY

level 1 ~ nothing direct, but something feels out

of alignment and uneasy

level 2 ~ some energy is exchanged, emotions

are evoked

level 3 ~ an actualized argument ensues, sharp

words are used, energy exchanged is very
reactive

level 4 ~ a trigger that has been left unresolved

and unattended to for far too long has been
poked and shadow self starts to emerge

level 5 ~ on-going arguing, where both partners

are lost in a storm of rage, fear and
misunderstanding

level 6 ~ a major wound is hit, intense energy

exchanges at low frequencies, attacks, blaming,
ultimatums, malicious expression

level 7 ~ an absolute explosion, strong elements

of hiding, feeling shame, running away and
giving up, usually a 'deal-breaker'
 REFLECTION EXERCISE

draw your attention / awareness to a triggered

moment you had with your partner this week

what were the variables involved in the trigger?

what level of intensity was your trigger?

how did you react?

what did it bring up for you?

what aspects of your shadow became loud in this

moment?

how could you have responded?

 WHAT DO TRIGGERS REVEAL?
no one is exempt from having triggers

triggers reveal where you are not standing in

your Power & Sovereignty

triggers reveal where you are BEing controlled

by your woundedness

triggers reveal where you have become your

shadow

triggers reveal where you at the mercy of fear,

and where you are a prisoner of the past

triggers reveal where you are not rooted IN

Love

triggers are a reflection of where you have not

met yourself yet
COMMON EXAMPLES OF SHADOW
FREQUENCIES AT PLAY

impatience
judgment
codependence
superficiality
control
selfishness
dishonesty
rigidity
negativity
aggression
immaturity
recklessness
woundedness
victimizing
manipulation
hurtfulness
maliciousness
temper tantrums
weaponized sex
silent treatment
passive-aggressiveness
SIGNS THAT REFLECT THAT WORKING
ON THE TRIGGER IS YOUR
RESPONSIBILITY
you are perpetually triggered about the same
thing and just cannot 'let it go'

the same conversations / conflicts / resistances /

problems are arising without any signs of
shifting in the narrative or end outcome

you aruge alot, without any resolve, clarity or

understanding

you begin to "accept" that 'this is the way my

partner IS'

you move INto denial

you are dishonest with your friends & family

about the reality / dynamic of your partnership

you are a serial-dater and cannot seem to find

'the one'

nothing IS ever enough for you

you constantly feel like something IS missing

 THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS
if there IS a recurring trigger happening with
little to no shift in the trigger intensity / without
any resolve

especially over extended periods of time

it IS unhealthy, draining and disempowering

if triggers cannot be acknowledged, honored,

worked through and held

if you are constantly compromising your

INtegrated Desires, non-negotiable boundaries
and sense of self

there comes a moment IN time where you must

ask yourSelf if staying IN this partnership IS in
Highest alignment with your INtegrated Self

you must ask yourSelf if staying IN this

partnership IS IN INtegrity with the Highest
expression and embodiment of Love and
Devotion

let your Body answer

 IN my personal experience if you are feeling
constantly triggered IN your relationship it IS
your Body telling you there IS a mismatch +
disharmony IN the relationship

it IS your Body telling you that this particular

partner cannot choose you IN all the conditions
of your Humanity

not because you are not worthy of BEing chosen

IN the conditions of your Humanity, but
because they haven't met themSelves IN their
own, and therefore can't meet you IN yours

your Body IS Highly intelligent

designed specifically for you

this IS where tuning INto Body-based wisdom

can be very beneficial

ask yourSelf

feel

&

listen
 A NOTE ON TRAUMA
when / if you have PTSD level wounding, you
might BE consistently triggered by an action or
statement that others find harmless or innocent

trauma ought to BE treated and tended to with

the utmost Love, care, tenderness, Presence and
sensitivity

BE open to seeking professional help to

INnerstand your major areas of trauma and
wounding

get to know yourSelf, on an INtimate level

peel back the layers of your Human experience

& condition

authentically, Humbly and honestly express to

your BELoved how you Desire to BE held

it IS unfair for you to expect your partner to BE

a mind-reader

it IS unfair for you to expect your partner to

have all the proper tools to support you

know yourSelf

teach them how to approach your major areas of

trauma and wounding with Grace,
INnerstanding & overstanding, compassion and
Love
having BEen cheated on IN the past by multiple
partners IS not a reason to not commit yourSelf
to another person IN the future, or not trust
your current partner

it IS simply a reason to approach partnership +

commitment with greater attention, discernment
and INtention and from a place of INnateness,
wholeness, and fullness

you are here to support each other's Healing

a key to that journey IS radical compassion,

Devotion and Love IN all the areas that we've
accumulated trauma and wounding

cultivate a container where you can BE

vulnerable, heard, seen, felt and held in your
Truth by your partner

do not expect them to know how to navigate

your strong triggers

BEcome & BE self-aware

teach them how

show them how

give yourSelf permission to take up space

the more you allow yourSelf to BE seen - the

more you can BE held
 err ibl e th in g s h av e h a p p en ed t o
"I f t a v e g ro w n w is e.
h
oy u, you ought toossible events have
If the worst pshould be the wisest
befallen you, yout instead of growing
of the lot. Bu e become wounded. In a
wise, most peopclious response, it is
state of cons ery life situation—
po s s ib le t o us e ev f or
a n
however ugly—as you habitually think,op p ort un it y
g row th . B u t if o f so m eone
“I am t h e w ay I am beca u se
g lif e s itu at ion s
else,” you are uspinortunity for self-
merely as an opor stagnation."
destruction
Sadhguru
 you are not responsible for the programming
you INherited IN the download years of your
existence

however

YOU ARE preciously responsible for

consciously & INtentionally INstalling the
upgrades

IN order to elevate IN Higher (INdividual +

collective) consciousness, you must separate
yourSelf from the outdated, disempowering and
self-limiting belief / Truth systems that your
identity IS attached to

you are here to reflect & reveal universal

Love
part 2
THE SACRED & HARMONIC DANCE
BETWEEN FEMININE & MASCULINE
ENERGY
IN many eastern philosophy's / spiritual
disciplines, a Human's energy Body IS divided
INto equal, and opposite halves

one half IS feminine essence - while the other

half IS masculine essence

that IS not to say that feminine energy BElongs

strictly to a Woman or that masculine energy
BElongs strictly to a Man

no matter what someone's gender expression

and/or sexual orientation IS - a person should
have a healthy connection and association with
both energy's, as well as a harmonic expression
and embodiment of both
CHARACTERISTICS OF
FEMININE ENERGY

emotions
yin
winter
water element
Love
chaos
compassion
flow
surrender
gentleness
softness
vulnerability
flexibility
sensuality
INtuition
feeling
darkness
the void
the mystery
unpredictable
prismatic
creative
receptive
CHARACTERISTICS OF
MASCULINE ENERGY

logic
yang
summer
fire element
support
structure
order
rational
leadership
Presence
groundedness
direction
purpose
decision-making
completion
drive
linear
predictable
action
COMMON FEMININE CHAKRA WOUNDS

root ~ codependent & settles IN partnership

sacral ~ has sexual shame, uses sexuality to

control and manipulate others, feels sexually
closed-off / undesirable

solar plexus ~ feels Powerless, people please's,

INsecure / lacks confidence

Heart ~ fears BEing alone & begs for Love

throat ~ fears speaking Truth

 COMMON MASCULINE CHAKRA
WOUNDS

root ~ seeks safety and security through chasing

money and overworking

sacral ~ addicted to lust & sexual Desires, uses

orgasm to release tension, addicted to
pornography, lacks ability to show INtimacy in
non-sexual ways

solar plexus ~ seeks to dominate and control

other people / situations / outcomes

Heart ~ fears commitment, IS emotionally

unavailable / stoic

throat ~ needs to BE loud to be heard

 THE WOUNDED FEMININE

feels unworthy of Love

has shame around Body image
lacks self-confidence
disconnected from emotions
non-committal
has sexual shame
struggles with INtimacy
struggles with expression
victim
repressed
petty
BEcomes easily attached
seeks external validation / attention
begs for Love
overly critical of Self & others
often feels small
often feels threatened by others
uncomfortable with praise / compliments /
BEing seen
codependent
feels unsafe in Body
has a hard time surrendering to / Trusting other’s
struggles to set boundaries
 THE WOUNDED MASCULINE

waivers with INconsistency

flighty & non-committal
struggles with BEing present
harsh & aggressive
overcompensates
lacks depth
only wants to BE served - without BEing of
service
addicted to sex / pornography
distracted
always chasing “the next best thing”
cheating
afraid of emotions
shuts down when confronted with emotions
emotionally stoic
controlling
narcissistic
gaslights partner
rigid - 'my way or the highway' mentality
focused only on outcome
 THE INTEGRATED FEMININE

healthy emotional connection

explores & INtegrates shadow aspects
has clear INtuition and Trusts it
a Present listener
a strong communicator
comfortable IN expression
nurturing
caring
soft
a giver
flowing with Love
flowing with Gratitude
embracing playfulness & creativity
feels attuned to and IN Harmony with Nature
listens to Body
sets healthy boundaries
encourages & celebrates others
vibrant with Life force
connected with INner masculine essence
 THE INTEGRATED MASCULINE

healthy boundaries
honors their “no”
has a clear sense of purpose
has a clear sense of direction
keeps promises
remains grounded when adversity/ challenges /
stress arises
IS Present & here
strong yet gentle
has a Presence that feels calming / safe /
grounding to others
IS guided both by rationality & emotionality
IN touch with anger IN healthy and adaptive
ways
connected with inner feminine essence
 when you are guided by or your BEhavior IS
being dictated by your shadow / by fear - you
are embodying your wounded Self

when you are guided by your Light / by

Love and your BEhavior IS informed by
LOVE - you are embodying your INtegrated
Self
 to an INtegrated Self

who has learned how to listen to the hushed

sentiments of their Heart

their partner IS not merely an object of beauty,

sex, Pleasure and service

their partner IS a beacon of Light, Truth,

wisdom, Knowledge, expansion and Devotion

their partner IS a divine reflection

their partner IS an alchemist

who has been sent to them to reveal their own

shadow & to INvite them to surrender their
egoic nature, upon the
ALTAR OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
 when your feminine and masculine energy's are
in disharmony on an INdividual & personal level

the energy withIN your sacred union &

partnership will follow suit

the more you align & harmonize your divine

feminine and masculine energy's ~ the more you
can magnetize, manifest and call IN a partner
that matches that vibration

you create space for this magnetism by

INtegrating and taking ownership of your
shadow
acknowledging, seeing & owning your shadow
alchemizes blame

it no longer makes your shit, your triggers &

your attachment to your story your partner's
responsibility

when you blame your partner for how you feel,

you render yourSelf a wounded and Powerless
BEing

you choose v i c t i m h o o d

everything IS a choice

when you hold space for your shadow, you

release the control it has on your BEhavioural
patterns (and through extension, your actions)

REMEMBER THAT you are one breath

away from A REACTION (and projection)
 I get it

I have been there

it IS so much easier to deflect, project, and dump

your shit onto your partner

it IS so much easier to blame them and use them

as your emotional dumping ground / punching
bag

it IS so much easier to make them responsible for

finding the solution to your problem(s)

it IS so much easier to rely on them to make you

feel better

it allows you to preserve the self-satisfying and

self-perpetuating narrative of helplessness /
victimhood

it allows you to preserve your self-righteousness

and your egotistical Desire of 'BEing right'
 your ego may Desire to BE right

however ... your soul Desires to BE seen,

heard, felt, held, Loved, chosen and
celebrated even more

IN order to achieve that

you must take accountability for your shadow

and what causes you pain & emotional reactivity

you must allow yourSelf to BEcome & BE

unmasked, undressed, unfiltered & unveil what
has been concealed
 when you displace blame on your partner the
only outcome IS more pain, anger, resentment
and added layers of woundedness

the above trend (in your average modern

relationship), IS the very reason that most people
do not get to experience INtegrated, embodied
and unconditional Love
 IN order to dive deeper into Devotional Love
with and through another

you must dive deeper INto Love of Self

the deeper you Desire to see / hear / feel / hold

and serve your partner - the deeper you have to
see / hear / feel / hold and serve yourSelf

the more honest you Desire to BE with your

partner, the more honest you need to BE with
yourSelf

the more you Desire to support your partner in

unpacking the layers of their Humanness &
BEingness - the more you have to unpack the
layers of yours

the more fulfilled you Desire for your partner to

BE in your partnership - the more fulfilled you
have to BE withIN yourSelf, on your own terms

you can only meet your partner, where you

have met yourSelf
 IN conscious Love & ascended partnership

INstead of seeing your partner as the cause of

your trigger

you see and treat your partner as the mirror /

messenger who IS here to help you identify
where you still need to INtegrate disowned and
defragmented pieces / parts of yourSelf

IN this way, rather than emotionally shutting

down, pushing your partner away, cultivating
misunderstanding and harboring resentment

you habituate extending Gratitude for the gift

that your partner has delivered to you instead

the gift BEing ~ an opportunity to alchemize

your shadow and rise into Higher Love &
consciousness
 triggers do not need to BE conflictual

when approached INtentionally, and IN a safe

space, with a willing partner

triggers can BE used to harness moments of

Truth, clarity & expansion
 REFLECTION EXERCISE

when you are triggered IN your partnership do you

manipulate your partner INto submission?

gaslight them and INvalidate their experience?

expect them to diffuse the charge of your

trigger?

threaten to leave?

tell them there IS someone better out there?

intellectually bully your partner?

throw yourself a pity party?

expect your partner to match your mood /

experience / truth?

refuse to take ownership?

refuse to reflect on what you actually need /

Desire and effectively and clearly
communicating that to your partner?
 next time you are triggered

ask yourself

have I experienced this same trigger, with

another person at another time, in another space?

does this remind me of a shadow dynamic IN

my family structure?

does this evoke similar feelings, emotions and

somatic experiences as past, traumatic memories?

if your partner IS reflecting the above to you

you are finally ready to move through that story

& timeline

you are finally ready to remember and (re)claim

your Sovereign nature

you are finally ready to embody Love

(even when it feels hard to Love yourSelf)

you are finally ready to allow yourSelf to BE

chosen & celebrated

(even when it feels like you're too much or too

messy or undesirable)
 take 10 deep Breaths INto your Heart space

affirm

nothing IS wrong ~ I AM exactly where I need

to BE IN this moment

nothing IS happening to me ~ everything IS

happening for & through me

this moment IS Divinely designed

this moment IS a gift

I allow, accept, embrace & surrender to this

moment

I INvite all lessons to come through IN this

trigger

I AM deeply devoted to understanding my

Human condition on a deeper level through this
moment and through my partner

I allow mySelf to INtegrate my shadow IN this

moment

I CHOOSE Higher Love + consciousness IN this

moment
 remember

whatever IS BEing brought up to the surface

IS arising and arriving here & Now

because it IS ready to be claimed, addressed &

transmuted

for the Highest Good

the Greatest Realization

&

the Global Heart

BE thankful to your partner who IS a willing

MIRROR / reflection
part 3
 IN conscious Love & ascended partnership
(IN a triggered moment)

you and your partner can recognize that you are

both BEing granted an opportunity (a port to
Unity)

to BE IN your Humanness

to Know yourSelf (and through extension each

other, and the overall human condition) on a
deeper level

to merge and UNIFY fragmented aspects of Self

to practice self-expression

to practice unconditional Love

to Heal unresolved trauma & wounds

to activate more Light in your DNA

to BEcome & BE more abundant IN every

department of your Life

to master the art of non-expectation, non-

attachment & non-judgment

to bow down in Gratitude, Love & Devotion

to yourSelf (And through extension, your
partner)

and to ultimately learn to give & recieve Love

on limitless & expansive terms
when you are OPERATING FROM your
WOUNDED SELF - it is ultimately AN
ATTEMPT TO BLOCK yourself FROM
experiencing the full spectrum of
unconditional LOVE
SOME REASONS YOU MAY BE BLOCKING
LOVE

you are still operating from a wounded place and

are not ready to receive and commit to conscious
Love
(because it IS and takes work)

you are unsure of what you truly Desire, which

blocks you from manifesting a healthy,
functional, INtegrated and conscious partnership

you have shame /guilt that causes you to feel

unLovable and act IN self-sabotaging or
"unLovable" ways

you feel like if you allow someone to fully see

you that you will not BE chosen

you are either too guided by your wounded

feminine or wounded masculine energy which
repels the partner you Desire
the keys to unlock the door
to your relational
transformation and
embodying unconditional
Love
 THE ART
OF
LOVING INQUIRY
 YOU

why AM I so bothered by this trait / quality /

reflection in my partner?

what AM I meant to learn through my partner ~

my Divine & chosen teacher?

why AM I triggered?

what IS my Highest Self trying to show me

through this trigger?

when was I triggered like this BEfore?

have I BEen triggered about this multiple times

in my Life?

IS my partner reflecting a past wound that has

not been addressed or fully processed yet?

IS my partner reflecting a part of mySelf that I

AM at war with?

when can I first recall feeling this way?

what did I start telling mySelf after this

happened?
 YOUR PARTNER

what does my partner do (on the regular) that

really annoys / irritates me?

what did my partner do (this week) that annoyed

me or made me angry?

how do I percieve my partner when they trigger

me?

what story do I attach to my partner when they

trigger me?

do I see see them as emotionally immature,

child-like, unimpressive?

untrustworthy, stupid, lazy?

how does this perception / story serve or not

serve how I feel about / connect with my
partner?

how does that perception serve or not serve how

I show up IN my relationship?
you must BE willing to BEfriend the
shadow dynamics & elements of your
partnership
 YOU

sit down & make a list of all of your shadow traits

reflect on them

how many of them show up IN your

partnership?

how often?

can you entrust your partner to support you,

choose you, Love you, and hold space for you
IN your shadow Self?

can they support you without judgment and

shaming you?

do your triggers amplify your partner's triggers?

 YOUR PARTNER

sit down & make a list of all of your shadow traits

reflect on them

how many of your partner's shadows elements

do you also express and embody?

how can you best support, choose, Love, and

hold space for your partner's shadow Self?

how can you assist your partner IN BEing their

Highest expression and embodiment when their
shadow shows up?

do your partner's triggers amplify your triggers?

 THE ART
OF
CONSCIOUS
COMMUNICATION
 conscious communication comes
after loving inquiry

it IS only from full acknowledgment &

INtegration of all of the details that you can
consciously communicate what it IS that IS
coming up IN your trigger

IN order to consciously communicate without

remnants of blamehood, victimhood, projections
& deflections, you must be IN a calm,
energetically neutral, and Loving space

IN order to consciously communicate you must

BE willing to place your ego & pride to the side

IN order to consciously communicate you must

BE willing to forfeit your egostic Desire to BE
right

IN order to consciously communicate you must

be willing to take radical self-responsibility,
accountability & ownership

IN order to consciously communicate you must

be willing to / give yourself permission to take
up space
 THE CONCEPT OF HOLDING SPACE

“holding space” means BEing physically,

mentally, and emotionally Present for someone
IN your totality

it means allocating your undivided attention,

INtention and energy INto cultivating and
maintaining a safe space for someone to feel &
express their feelings

the person who IS holding space helps set the

tone for a kind, curious, open and judgment-free
INteraction and exchange where the other
person can drop INto their vulnerability, and like
the term suggests, have space h e l d
 think of a time when you were vulnerable

what did you need / Desire IN that moment?

did you need / Desire for someone to give you

advice and solve your problem?

did you need / Desire for someone to tell you

what to do or judge you?

you likely just needed /Desired for someone to

BE there for you

and that's just it ... sometimes the best thing we

can do for someone IS to simply
BE with them ... in unwavering PRESENCE

sitting with someone IN Loving &

unconditional support of their Human
experience, condition and journey is such a
profound experience for both the holder &
reciever of space
A TEMPLATE TO ASK FOR SPACE TO BE
HELD
"my Love, I really need you to hold space for me
right now

I graciously ask that you maintain a neutral and

spacious container where I can express mySelf
and BE held right now

I do not need / Desire for you to fix me, my

situation, or how I AM feeling

I do not need / Desire for you to make it go

away

I do not need / Desire for you to save me from

this moment

I do not need / Desire for you to share your

opinion with me

I do not need / Desire your advice

I do not need / Desire for you to share a similar

experience with me

I need / Desire to BE received IN this fully

I need / Desire to BE held IN this right now"

 moving forward, give yourSelf permission to
take up space

communicate & vocalize when it IS that you

Desire for space to BE h e l d

thereIN creating a space, where your partner can

ask for & receive the same from you

AFTER space has been held for you, you can

choose if you Desire to open the floor, for your
partner to share themSelves with you if that’s
what feels organic, resonating and of service
 EXAMPLES OF UNCONSCIOUS
COMMUNICATION

“I hate when you do that.”

"Shut up."

“Get away from me.”

"You're so annoying."

"I can't even look at you right now."

“I AM sick of this relationship.”

"I AM over this relationship."

“I AM sorry for how I acted, but you made me

do it."

"If you didn't say / do ABC, then I wouldn't

have said / done XYZ.
 EXAMPLES OF CONSCIOUS
COMMUNICATION

“When you do that, I feel closed and unsafe.”

"When you approach me like that, it really

activates my nervous system."

“Right now I need some time and space to

process how I feel.”

“I am feeling disrespected by you right now.”

"I AM feeling disconnected from you right

now."

"I AM feeling at a loss of how to salvage our

relationship right now."

"I AM sorry for how I chose to react and I will

BE more mindful and INtentional about that
moving forward."
 A TEMPLATE TO CONSCIOUSLY
COMMUNICATE SOMETHING THAT
COMES UP FOR YOU

“I observed / witnessed …”

“I felt, or I feel …”

“The story I have created around / attached to

this IS …”

“What I need IS …”

the reason you start with - "I observe", rather than

"you did this" ~ IS because the former IS you BEing
IN your victimhood, while the latter IS you standing
IN your Sovereignty and choosing to see BEyond the
lens of your wounds
 A TEMPLATE TO CONSCIOUSLY
COMMUNICATE SOMETHING THAT
COMES UP FOR YOU

“I observed / witnessed …”

“I felt, or I feel …”

“The story I have created around / attached to

this IS …”

“What I need IS …”

the reason you start with - "I observe", rather than

"you did this" ~ IS because the former IS you BEing
IN your victimhood, while the latter IS you standing
IN your Sovereignty and choosing to see BEyond the
lens of your wounds
Questions dripping
in honey, make
Loving inquiry that
much sweeter ...
ANOTHER TEMPLATE TO PLAY WITH /
TRY ON
"I AM sorry, I was deeply triggered and
emotionally reactive IN that moment because it
made me feel X, or made me re-live x, and I take
full ownership of that. I AM actively choosing to
work on turning my reactions INto responses
and INnerstanding what this trigger IS rooted
IN. I feel that it IS important for me to
INnerstand - if what you brought to that
moment, felt healthy, purposeful, IN resonance
with and IN service to unconditional Love?"

there IS no need to demonize your partner or

how they showed up or didn't show up in that
moment

it IS unfair and unreasonable to expect your

partner to know how to answer every call to
action (triggered moment)

taking a similar approach to the sample offering

above, gives your partner a judgment-free zone
and safe & open space to
truly reflect, and make an embodied, empowered
and Sovereign choice that IS not contingent on
pleasing you, or the "expectations" of the
relationship
 THE ART
OF
FORGIVENESS
 THE PATHWAY TO LOVE, IS
FORGIVENESS

I BElieve that dis-ease comes from a state of

unforgiveness

furthermore ... I BElieve that

forgiveness frees us

Heals our Body's & our Hearts

enriches our Lives

raises the overall frequency of our individual

Human experience & the collective Human
condition
 SELF-FORGIVENESS
self-forgiveness relies on the willingness TO
HOLD yourSelf ACCOUNTABLE

to hold a mirror up to your OWN face

to accept and honor the mad, the bad, the sad,

the ugly, the messy and the shameful IN yourSelf

to confront your own shadow elements

to reflect on you (negative / limiting) SELF-

TALK AND BELIEF SYSTEMS

to set your pride to the side in admittance of

who you have been in the past that does not
make you proud

TO ACKNOWLEDGE WHERE YOU

DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION

TO ADMIT WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN AN

ACCOMPLICE IN YOUR OWN TRAGEDY

TO BECOME AWARE OF HOW YOU

HAVE CO-CREATED
& preserved the self-satisfying and self-
perpetuating narrative of helplessness /
victimhood IN YOUR HUMAN
EXPERIENCE(S)
 yes

it IS a lot easier to BE able to blame others and

your partner for "BEing this way" and claim
victimhood

may this BE your gentle reminder that there IS

absolutely NO Power IN that space / position

it IS a lot more emPowering to acknowledge

and own that you do IN fact have choice

and it can BE an INsightful journey to witness

where you have a habit of giving your Power
away to external circumstances
many of us only Desire to BE seen when we are
"THE" shining example of the person we strive
to BE

when we are messy, when it IS "not easy" to love

us ... we hide, we retreat, and we attempt to
abandon ship

we have a hard time forgiving ourSelves when

we falter

not wanting to face the dark and shadowy sides

of our own BEing

what do YOU do IN the face of an impending

INternal storm?
THE WORLD, MORE THAN EVER ~ needs
people who are willing to demonstrate what it
looks like to take radical responsibility for how
they show up IN the world

people who are willing to feel and OWN their

hurt instead of working it out on and through
other people

people who are willing to unidentify with the

self-limiting narratives and story's their ego's
have attached themselves to

PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO PLAY

AN ACTIVE ROLE IN THE RE-WRITING
OF THEIR STORY'S

people who are willing to recognize that they

have always BEen & always will BE the author
of their Life story
 notice

witness

listen

examine your thoughts

whatever you persistently think (and therefore

whatever your core BEliefs are), manifests /
actualizes IN your reality & Human experience

you ARE the placebo effect

COMMON EXAMPLES OF SELF-LIMITING
CORE BELIEFS

I did this / I AM like this, therefore:

"I AM unLovable"

"I AM unworthy"

"I AM undeserving"

"I AM undesirable"

"I AM not good enough"

"I AM not important"

"I AM not Desired"

...

and so on
 SHAME LOVES TO BE KEPT SECRET

shame thrives, and creates more shame when it

IS a mistress in your Life

when we externalize and share our story, the

shame can BE alchemized

GUILT KEEPS YOU FROM FULLY

DROPPING INTO RECEIVERSHIP &
RECEIVING IN TOTALITY

and THEREFORE GIVING IN YOUR

TOTALITY AS WELL

how you dissolve INternalized shame + guilt IS

by offering yourself forgiveness

and IN doing so

injecting Light, Love, INnerstanding and

compassion INto the places that need it the most
and that you have (chosen to) abandon(ed)
 MIRROR-GAZING
while staring INto a mirror, look yourSelf IN the left
eye IN the mirror (left eye IS known to BE the
window to the soul)

and affirm out loud and INvoke INto your Body:

"I forgive mySElf for my mistakes, my shortcomings,

my lapses in character, and my percieved inadequacies.
I dissolve and let go of the shame and guilt that I have
attached to the wounded reflections of me. I AM
willing to BE TRUE TO MYSELF, and I AM ready to
take FULL responsibility for how I feel, act and BE IN
every NOW moment. I know that my destiny IS not
defined by my history. my destiny is defined by my
CHOICE.”

notice how you feel

notice what happens in your Body - do you feel
resistance, do you start to sweat, does your jaw tighten,
do your fists clench up, does your breath start to feel
short?

pay attention - ask ‘why?’

don’t talk down on yourSelf, or shame yourSelf for
whatever comes up - SIMPLY NOTICE, with
undistracted attention

again go to the mirror, look deep INto your own eyes,

touch your throat, and say out loud ten times, ‘I
CHOOSE TO DISSOLVE ALL RESISTANCE HERE
& NOW.’
 WORKING ON FORGIVENESS WITH A
PARTNER
when you have a hard time offering your partner
forgiveness (or anyone for that matter) it IS BEcause
you have not learned how to fully offer it to yourSelf

if you are actively choosing this person to BE your

partner you must always BE willing to offer them
forgiveness for the moments IN time & space that they
are not able to show up IN the ways that you Desire /
expect them to

if you are practising unconditional Love with your

person you must BE willing to show them compassion
and non-judgment when they show you their shadow

if you are practising unconditional Love with your

partner you must BE willing to see the Humanity IN
them even when what they're reflecting to you IS
"negative"

if you are practising unconditional Love you must BE

willing to neutralize limiting narratives / story's that
you have attached to your partner

if you are practising unconditional Love you must BE

willing to see your partner through clear eyes
(rather than through the lens of resentment)
forgiveness doesn't mean that what your partner (or the
other person) did IS right, warranted, just or, that you
are condoning the act

it simply means that you are forgiving that person for

what they did not know how to do differently, based
on the level of consciousness they were operating from
at that moment IN time & space

let forgiveness BE an act of Liberating the other person

(OR YOURSELF) from all expectations, judgments
and hostilities

let forgiveness BE an act of bowing down to the

Humanity IN someone and giving them an
opportunity to BE their Highest Self despite Knowing
their shadow

let forgiveness BE an act of never putting someone IN a

box and limiting them to a past version of themSelves
 FORGIVENESS LETTERS
Dear ____________, (YOUR NAME OR RECIEVER OF
FORGIVENESS)

let whatever details flow through out on paper

and make sentiments like:

“you were not who I needed / Desired for you to BE, however I
forgive you and set you free of any and all expectations and
judgments”

“I forgive you for not knowing better”

“I forgive you for operating from a wounded place - I see the

INnocence and Purity in you” / “I forgive mySelf for operating
from a wounded place - I see the INnocence and Purity in mySelf”

“I forgive you for inflicting onto me what you did not mend
withIN yourSelf” / “I forgive mySelf for inflicting on to someone
else, what I did not mend withIN mySelf”

“I forgive you for operating from the level of consciousness that you
had then”

“I Liberate you from BEing a harmful character in my story & I

recognize that you were not hurting me - but rather reifying lived
pain withIN yourSelf”

end the letter off with:

"I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you, thank you,
thank you"
(3 times)
(Ho'oponopono - an ancient hawaiian reconciliation + forgiveness
technique)

with a willing, forgiving and open heart,

sign your name

 THE ART
OF
SELF-SOOTHING
Humans are ONE OF THE few species IN the Animal
Kingdom that are completely dependent on their
Mother's for survival, from birth

it has been encoded INto our very DNA that our

identity, existence and survival is contingent on having
a caregiver and someone to ultimately 'save' us

every human BEing on Earth has INherited this karmic

debt

the journey home BEcomes the unlearning of the

BElief that someone IS meant to water your garden and
that you are meant to water someone's (and that
abundance IS created from without rather than from
withIN)

and

the re-learning / remembrance that you are here to

plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

some humans spend their entire Lives resisting the

untethering from the umbilical chord (an external
source of life & validation) - reaching for partners to fill
the void

looking to their partners to soothe them in moments of

adversity, chaos, stress and emotional turmoil
 here IS one of the harder pills you'll have to swallow
through this journey

nobody owes you shit, and you don't owe anybody shit
either

on a soul level we are all here to fulfill our very unique

soul contract

it IS no one's responsibility to BE who you need them

to BE

it IS your responsibility to cultivate the INternal

conditions where you are able to provide yourSelf with
everything it IS that you are seeking

IN order to BEcome & BE Sovereign - you must learn

to recognize and lean INto your INherent
WHOLENESS, so that someone can simply mirror that
wholeness, yeah?
keep reading to find out how you can anchor INto
your own well of tools and enoughness aka
wholeness

may you BE reminded through these practices how

equipped you are to Love yourSelf as softly, and
with as much conviction and Presence as you have
BEen craving / seeking from someone outside of
you
 NYASA
the practice of NYASA helps you cultivate safety and
security withIN your own Body and space ..., and
allows you to meet whatever feeling or emotion or
negative self-talk that IS coming to the forefront, with
Love and compassion, learning how to comfort
yourSelf, like you would an INnocent child

Nyasa IS a self-soothing technique

Nyasa IS a practice that acts as a reminder that you are

FULLY equipped to Love yourSelf IN all of the ways
you deeply Desire to BE Loved, you are FULLY
capable of giving yourSelf all the attention you Desire,
and you are fully capable of pouring INto yourSelf
whatever it IS that you feel that you are lacking IN that
moment IN time & space

Nyasa IS the art and sacred practice of self-touch

INfused with mantra & prayer

Nyasa awakens the quality of the divine and assigns or

places it in the area of the Body BEing touched

this practice IS especially useful when you feel stuck IN

your head, dissociated from your Body, like your safety
has BEen threatened, lonely, anxious, and not good
enough

Nyasa creates space for full and Lively embodiment

withIN every cell and tissue of your beautiful Body
 IN a seated position, BEgin to draw awareness to your
Breath… continue to deepen it from there, making wave-
like, oceanic sounds

allow for a sacred mantra or prayer to form withIN your

Heart's centre

tap INto your intuition here, and allow your Body to guide
you and take you where it feels called to go — move your
hands, and softly place them on various parts of your Body,
INternally or audibly repeating the sacred mantra you have
connected with

stay IN your practice for as long as it feels Healing &

Purposeful for you

Trust your INternal compass & guidance system, it will not

lead you astray
SOME MANTRAS YOU CAN WORK WITH

I AM IMPORTANT
I AM CELEBRATED
speaking my Holy Truth IS as effortless and
pleasurable as BREATHING
it IS safe to soften, settle and slow down
I Trust in my mySelf and the choices I make
it IS safe and it IS okay to say NO
my unconditional Love IS first and foremost
reserved for ME
the more I unconditionally Love and choose
mySelf, the more I can unconditionally Love and
choose others
I AM deserving of BEing honored
I will not negotiate my boundaries to be
conditionally chosen and loved
I AM sure of mySelf
I AM confident and convicted
I AM fully equipped to hold mySelf IN moments
of discomfort and INner turmoil
I AM fully capable of BEing responsible for
mySelf
I choose to stand in my Power IN every Now
moment
 we live IN a culture where the pursuit of self-
Love has turned INto resisting commitment &
Devotion to another (like the two are mutually
exclusive)

we live IN a culture that IS riddled with illusions,

fabrications, INauthenticity, and fakeness which
tricks us INto perpetually BEing thirsty &
hungry for something more

we live IN a culture that glorifies swiping right

IN pursuit of chasing 'the next best thing,' where
the grass IS always greener on the other side, and
where nothing or no one IS ever enough

we live IN a culture where the beauty ideals

BEing imposed on our expression, and
embodiment are: flawed, completely outrageous,
not natural, harmful & limiting... to say the least

these belief systems and these story's have been

embedded IN us for generations, and they can
BE triggered, and show up in vicious and self-
sabotaging ways if you're feeling INsecure IN
your relationship
your definition of, and ideals attached to beauty /
what makes you Lovable may have served you
THEN (when you were younger, didn’t know
better and when your identity was likely BEing
validated based on your externality & physicality,
because that IS what society taught you)

it IS time to recognize that those ideals do not

serve you NOW
(when you are clearly so willing to lean INto
your INherently abundant nature and essence)

Remember, beauty comes in SO MANY

FORMS

so many

and GUESS WHAT?!

YOU

YES

YOU, SWEET ONE

GET TO CHOOSE, WHAT THAT MEANS

FOR YOU and all of the ways IN which your
INner beauty and radiance is expressed &
embodied
 MIRROR-GAZING

when feelings of not enoughness come up ... or

self-talk like “I feel ugly / unattractive," “I feel
undesirable,” “I feel gross in my skin and Body
today,” "I AM not sexy enough" - or whatever it
may BE COME up for you, instead of
INternalizing it & later projecting it in self-
sabotaging ways

go look yourSelf IN the left eye in the mirror

(left eye IS known to BE the window to the
soul)

audibly express, “I recognize this as non-truth”

from there it IS important to work on

INtegrating a new BElief & Truth system

keep reading to explore "the beauty I see IN

you" technique that you can syngergize with
mirror-gazing, to assist you IN crystallizing a
more emPowering BElief & Truth system
SOME MANTRAS YOU CAN WORK WITH

while mirror-gazing, INvoke ...

the beauty that I see IN you IS radiance

the beauty that I see IN you IS Truth
the beauty that I see IN you IS strength
the beauty that I see IN you IS perseverance
the beauty that I see IN you IS humility
the beauty that I see IN you IS INtegrity
the beauty that I see IN you IS honesty
the beauty that I see IN you IS softness
the beauty that I see IN you IS vulnerability
the beauty that I see IN you IS patience
the beauty that I see IN you IS humor
the beauty that I see IN you IS consistency
the beauty that I see IN you IS Love
the beauty that I see IN you IS child-like wonder
the beauty that I see IN you IS TRUST
the beauty that I see IN you IS passion
the beauty that I see IN you IS creative potential
 SELF-HOLDS

self-holds can BE used during or after a triggered

episode that was accompanied with emotional
reactivity

self-holds can BE used to assist during episodes

of INtense stress and anxiety or other
overwhelming emotions

self-holds can BE used to assist you IN coming

back to your Body and INtentionally cultivating
safety and security withIN the Body
 DIFFERENT SELF-HOLDS TO WORK
WITH
in a seated position

place left hand under right armpit and right hand

on top of left shoulder .. hold comfortably and
Breathe for 5 minutes

place one hand on your forehead and one hand

on your chest and Breathe for 5 minutes

place one hand on your chest and one hand on

your stomach and Breathe for 5 minutes

place hands on top of your Heart centre and

Breathe for 5 minutes

hold opposing elbows with arms hugged INto

your solar plexus and Breathe for 5 minutes

cupping your knees with your hands Breathe for

5 minutes

keep reading to explore how you can INfuse

your self-holds with state-shifters / mantras if
you feel called to
 SOME MANTRAS TO WORK WITH
you are not alone
uou can count on me
it IS okay to feel this way
I believe IN you
you are SO capable
you are such a gift
IT IS OKAY TO BE MISUNDERSTOOD
IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, OR
DUTY TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY,
AND TO SATISFY EVERYONE’S NEEDS
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BETRAY
YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU KNOW TO
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, TO RECEIVE
LOVE
you ARE SUPPORTED
I AM so proud of you and the person you have
become, and who you CONTINUE to strive to
BE
I am SO glad you were born
you can come to me whenever you need to BE
held, I am here for you
you do not need to BE perfect, IN order to
receive Love and protection
you are allowed to make mistakes
you are allowed to go at your own pace, and you
are allowed to be on your own timeline
you can have your own preferences and tastes
I Love who you are today, and I cannot wait to
see who you are tomorrow
 THE ART
OF
NON-EXPECTATION


Expectations erase
enchantment ...
Presence with what
IS ... brings
Bliss
 does this mean you should drop all your
relationship Desires to BE
met with affection, honesty, passion,
transparency & Love and
passively accepting however it IS that they are
choosing to show up?

fuuuuuck no

please don't do that either

the path to conscious Love IS not to BE an

enabler or a savior either

learn to discern between an expectation and

a Desire
 the main difference between a Desire and an
expectation IS

when your partner doesn't meet your

expectation, emotional triggering and reactivity
IS attached to it

when your partner doesn't meet your Desire you

Lovingly & consciously communicate to them
and hold space for them until they are willing to
meet you in your INtegrated Desire, or you
stand firmly IN your Power and leave the
relationship IN acknowledgment that it IS not
IN the Highest expression and embodiment of
Love any longer

PS

you will often find that when you let GO of

your expectations you actually recieve so much
more
AN EXAMPLE OF A DESIRE IS ...

consistency

INtimacy

communication

Truth

INnerstanding

willingness to lean IN
AN EXAMPLE OF AN EXPECTATION IS ...

always BEing on time

always needing to BE sexually available

always needing to know every detail of your

partners day

always sharing Truths and BEliefs

always agreeing with one another

it always BEing a convenient time to lean IN

 THE ART
OF
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
 IMAGINE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
BEING IN VIBRATIONAL
ALIGNMENT WITH
GRATITUDE &
CELEBRATION

often times after a triggered episode there are

remnants and residues of resentment, hostility &
frustration IN the energetic field of your relationship

it IS important to not get sucked into the vortex +

trap that IS resentment

resentment IS the inverse of appreciation

 the gateway to alchemizing resentment IS
acknowledging your partner and the sacred role
they are playing IN your self-INtegration
journey

the gateway to alchemizing resentment IS giving

Gratitude to your partner and celebrating them
and the opportunity they have bestowed upon
you to draw awareness to your shadow

when you practice acknowledgment, and say

"thank you for showing me this part of mySelf,"
it IS a testament that you are willing and ready
to take radical self-responsibility and ownership
for how you show up IN every Now moment

when you claim radical responsibility, you step

out of your victimhood and INto your Sovereign
nature
BE grateful that you are willing, and that your
partner IS willing to work through whatever
comes up in the relationship

no matter who you are with,

or for how long you have been together

shiiiiiiiit
will
always
come
up
 that IS the beautiful burden of agreeing to BE a
part of this Human experience

the work never stops

YOU ARE NOT PERFECT

your partner IS not perfect

no one IS

YOU HAVE YOUR STUFF

YOUR PARTNER HAS THEIR STUFF

everyone does

EVERYONE HAS THEIR IDIOSYNCRASIES

EVERYONE HAS THEIR TEMPERAMENTS

EVERYONE HAS THEIR IMPRINTS &

BELIEFS

everyone has their own version of the unlearning

& relearning, and unBEcoming & BEcoming
that IS their great self-remembrance

THIS INEVITABLY CREATES CONFLICT

 remember

triggers do not need to BE conflictual

when approached INtentionally, and IN a safe

space, with a willing partner

triggers can BE used to harness moments of

Truth, INtimacy, clarity & expansion

triggers can BE portals to deeper expression

and embodiments of Love

BE willing to let it BE exactly that

 THE ART
OF
SELF-AWARENESS
the fact of the matter IS that the majority of your
thoughts and actions are on autopilot

recognize that your Body IS a Highly

INtelligent piece of technology

your habits, routines, impulses, and reactions are

encrypted INto the technology of your Body,
and they carry you through your Life so that you
don't have to stop and think about every small
move you make or action you take

the problem IS when you're on autopilot for so

long, you forget you're on autopilot and you
stop practising free will & autonomy out of sheer
pattern

when you're not even aware of your own habits,

routines, impulses, and reactions you no longer
control them ... they control you

WHEN YOU are aware YOU ARE

ACTIVELY CHOOSING TO BE THE
DRIVER OF YOUR VEHICLE, RATHER
THAN A PASSIVE PASSENGER
 self-awareness IS one of the core components of
emotional INtelligence

emotional INtelligence IS your ability to

recognize and INnerstand emotions IN yourSelf
and others, and your ability to use this awareness
to manage your BEhaviour & interpersonal
relationships

self-awareness comes from self-reflection

self-reflection iS the art of examining your

thoughts, attitudes and behaviours IN solitude

this allows you to unravel who you Truly are

underneath everything that's been concealed,
and gives you the opportunity to rescript the
BEhaviour that IS self-limiting
 mastering self-awareness allows YOU TO
EXTEND THE SAME LEVEL OF
AWARENESS AND INNERSTANDING TO
THE OVERALL HUMAN EXPERIENCE &
CONDITION, which allows you to cultivate a
heightened sense of compassion, empathy, non-
judgment and non-expectation towards others
on their journey

self-awareness IS the key to embracing your

Sovereign nature

when you choose to BE responsible - you claim

your self-autonomy
Gentle Reminders
Love Notes from my Highest Self to Yours
 WHEN I FEEL BURNT OUT ...

what I need IS ...

to BE honest with mySelf about my priorities,

where I AM stretching myself too t h i n &
where I need to set firmer boundaries

affirm: it is safe for me to say no

WHEN I FEEL EMOTIONALLY HUNGOVER ...

what I need IS ...

to take sacred time & s p a c e to process, clarify

& INtegrate my emotions

affirm: it IS safe for me to sit with what feels

dense and intense, and it IS okay for me to take
time to INtegrate my emotions
WHEN I FEEL THE DESIRE TO ESCAPE /
RUN AWAY...

what I need IS ...

to ask mySelf what I AM really afraid of, what I

AM trying to hide from mySelf or my partner
and to remind mySelf that I AM chosen in all of
the conditions of my Humanity

affirm: you are safe, and you are honored IN

shadow and Light
 WHEN I FEEL LONELY ...

what I need IS ...

to put my hands on my Heart, ask mySelf what I

AM really needing
& remind mySelf that I AM not alone

affirm: for as long as I maintain a positive and

Loving relationship with mySelf, I AM never
alone
 WHEN I FEEL STUCK ...

what I need IS ...

to f e e l INto whatever feels stuck, and to assist

my Body IN moving it through using Breath,
sound & movement

affirm: I AM allowing for whatever feels out of

INtegrity to move through with ease & grace
 WHEN I FEEL UNWORTHY ...

what I need IS ...

to reflect on & acknowledge who taught me that

I AM not worthy and my attachment to that
story

affirm: I recognize and bow down to my

INherent worth and value
 WHEN I FEEL UNLOVABLE ...

what I need IS ...

to INtegrate & make peace with the parts of

mySelf that I do not Love, that I AM ashamed of
and that I do not think are desirable IN
recognition that I AM Lovable IN all of the
conditions of my Humanity

affirm: I AM Lovable IN all of the conditions of

my Humanity
 WHEN I FEEL NOT CHOSEN ...

what I need IS ...

to reflect on & acknowledge the pieces of myself

that I AM attempting to disown or push down,
to ask mySelf where I can dissolve self-judgment
& send Love to those parts of mySelf that I feel
estranged from

affirm: I forgive mySelf for all of the times I did

not act in my Highest virtue and INtention
WHEN I FEEL NOT CELEBRATED ...

what I need IS ...

to reflect on & acknowledge where I need to

praise mySelf, show Gratitude
to mySelf, h u m b l y claim my wins and
successes

affirm: my existence, Presence and energy IN

and of itSelf IS a Gift
 WHEN I FEEL INADEQUATE ...

what I need IS ...

to accept with Grace that IN the game of Life I

AM a work of art IN progress, and a forever
student

affirm: where I AM at, IS always enough

 WHEN I FEEL JEALOUS ...

what I need IS ...

to reflect on & INtegrate where it IS that I feel

like I AM unworthy, not good enough and
undesirable and take sacred time to cultivate a
positive and Loving relationship with mySelf

affirm: I release, forgive and reconcile all

timelines, narratives, beliefs and characters in my
story that keep me rooted IN jealous tendencies
 WHEN I FEEL INSECURE ...

what I need IS ...

to Truly INnerstand that these insecurities have

been shaped by someone outside me, and to
make the active choice to accept myself and
Love myself wholly and unconditionally

affirm: the more that I Trust and Love mySelf,

the more I can do the same with / for others
 WHEN I FEEL INAUTHENTIC ...

what I need IS ...

to remind mySelf that UNCONDITIONAL

Love does NOT require denying parts of mySelf
and what I know to BE True to mySelf

affirm: it IS safe to BE authentic IN my Truth,

and it IS okay to be misunderstood
 WHEN I FEEL RESENTFUL ...

what I need IS ...

to reflect on where I have BEen BEtraying

mySelf IN order to gain approval, validation or
acceptance from someone

affirm: I work to INnerstand my needs and

Desires and honor the boundaries I have
established for myself
 WHEN I FEEL OVERWHELMED ...

what I need IS ...

to drop everything that I AM doing, and take a

moment (or however many moments) to anchor
back down INto my Breath and Body, and the
Present moment

affirm: time expands when I AM Present with

what IS
 WHEN I FEEL NEGLECTED ...

what I need IS ...

to reflect & INtegrate where I have BEen

neglecting mySelf, where I have BEen honoring
other needs / wants / expectations above my own
and give mySelf permission to choose mySelf,
and to serve mySelf BEfore I serve others

affirm: it IS only when I recieve IN my totality,

that I can give in my totality, without feeling
depleted
 THE ART
OF
RECIPROCITY
 the more you BEfriend and INtegrate your
shadow, the more your partner (and people
IN general) will reflect your Light

the more you do your own work - the more

your partner will BE willing & able to do the
same

the more you are willing to meet your

Humanity IN all of its brilliant and jagged
INtricacies and nuances, the more you will BE
willing & able to do the same for your partner

the more you personally encode your

relationship with the INtentionality's of Loving
INquiry, conscious communication, forgiveness,
self-soothing, non-expectation,
acknowledgment, and self-awareness, the more
that can flourish from your garden of
unconditional Love & Devotion

the more you choose to take radical

responsibility for who you are & how you show
up IN every now moment - the more your
partner will BE willing + able to do the same
 as you step INto radical responsibility, your
partner will feel more free and at ease about
doing the same

with ultimate acceptance and permission from

you

when both partners are willing

this reciprocity leads to mutual benefit &

freedom
 the math IS simple

when you give from a place of wholeness &

INNATENESS

you will never feel scarce

when you give from a place of wholeness &

INNATENESS

you will give BEcause you genuinely Desire to

BEcause it IS IN alignment and resonance with
you IN that Now moment - not because you
need to make someone stay, or to BE chosen, or
to BE praised
part 4
 when you answer your souls CALL to expand,
by taking radical responsibility ~ you will BE
TESTED

this IS the law of INITIATION

no matter how defeated you feel sometimes, do

not give up

no matter how many people resist you shedding

your Light, do not dim yourself

no matter how many people try to put you IN a

box, do not stay small

don’t ever question or stop what you are doing

because your mission here IS NOT complete
 you will BE rewarded

for all of the tests that you have surpassed

for all the moments you chose to respond rather

than react

for all of the moments you chose Grace over

malice

for all the moments you chose Love over fear

for all the moments you chose compassion over

judgment

for all of the moments you INtegrated what was

wounded withIN you

for all the moments you chose to BE self-

governing over claiming victimhood
 showing up IS your superPower

showing up IS your return Home

showing up will allow you to remember the

Truth of who you really are

BEhind all of the masks & filters you plastered

onto yourSelf as a protective mechanism

showing up will give others the

OPPORTUNITY to give themselves
PERMISSION to do the same
let your Body be
the Living
transmission of
Love
 your partner will thank you

so will the entire world

because you are not separate from the Whole

no Love ...

you are a merely reflection and fragment of it

your self-INtegration and self-transformation

journey through conscious Love / ascended
partnership / Divine union IS a Blessing to the
collective
the collective's Healing IS dependent on your
INdividual Healing

I thank you for this opportunity

I honor you for this opportunity
I Love you for this opportunity

Your M i r ro r A n ja