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Here’s Your Arguing

Style, Based on Your
Personality Type
By Susan Storm August 17, 2019

Did you know that your personality type

impacts how you argue? While each
individual has unique traits that will show
up in their debates, there are certain
trends among types that come up again
and again. Those trends and patterns are
what we are going to be looking at today!
Let’s get started!

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Here’s Your Arguing

Style, Based on Your
Personality Type
ENFPs and ENTPs –
Exploring Alternatives
These types are all about playing the
devil’s advocate. You think you’re arguing
with “facts”? Where did those facts come
from? If you spin the fact a different way
they might say something else entirely! As
Extraverted Intuitives, ENPs are all about
seeing alternatives, unusual angles, or
random meanings. They can argue almost
anything because they see so many sides
to an issue. They will simultaneously open
your mind and drain your willpower as they
bring up points and counter-points to
every argument you submit. Few things
are black and white to these types
because there are always more
perspectives to consider. It isn’t always
about winning the argument for these
types, but exploring alternatives and
playing with ideas.
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ENTPs get very analytical in a dispute and

can miss the emotional/value-laden side of
the argument. They tend to be pedantic,
skeptical, yet enthusiastic about arguing. A
debate isn’t a sign of ill-will for these
types, and they often use these
opportunities to mentally exercise and
entertain themselves.

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ENFPs tend to personalize things more in

an argument. They look at the values of
everyone involved. How ethical is this
decision/argument? How sincere are
people being? What are the personal
impacts and how will people be affected
based on the outcome of the argument?
As conscientious types, ENFPs are less
likely to pursue arguing unless something
very important to them is on the line.

Both ENFPs and ENTPs tend to enjoy a

certain amount of “shock value” when
arguing and may say things just to throw
their opponent off-guard or make them
stop and think. This is especially true when
these types are in the teenage years.

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Inside the Mind of an ENFP, ENTP, INFP or
INTP

INTPs and ISTPs – Looking

for Logical Consistency
Extremely persuasive, these types have
mastered the art of hair-splitting and are
experts at using pure, unadulterated logic
to defeat their opponents. That said, they
easily get overwhelmed with too much
talk, especially if the people around them
are getting emotional. They are less
inclined to argue “just for fun” as ESTPs or
ENTPs are. ITPs tend to withdraw when a
fight breaks out if it doesn’t personally
impact them in any way. They’d rather
keep to themselves then get wrapped up
in needless conflict unless their privacy,
freedoms, or the welfare of someone they
love is on the line.

If an argument becomes emotional, ITPs

can appear condescending or confused in
their responses. They lack respect for
arguments that have no logical basis, and
they hate hearing phrases like “My feelings
are just as real as your facts” in the middle
of a debate. They feel that they can’t argue
with feelings, and to do so would be
ethically wrong to them. ISTPs especially
like to argue with facts, the more specific
the better. INTPs will be more open to
theorizing, switching sides in an argument,
or including more abstract details.

Both ISTPs and INTPs can see many

options for everything, and can easily play
both sides of an issue. They are less likely
to be convinced of something based on
rules, emotions, or authority and are more
convinced based on what is true or false,
or “if this, then that” logic. ITPs test rules
and boundaries to see if there’s actually an
applicable reason for that rule being there.
They will break down an argument piece-
by-piece to replace it with something that
is purer in its logic.

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INFPs and ISFPs – Standing

Up for Their Values
ISFPs and INFPs tend to be very resolute in
arguments. They have no patience for
anyone who is pushy, domineering, or
manipulative. They want to piece apart the
emotions of the people in the argument,
figuring out everyone’s core motives and
intentions. They will evaluate what really
matters to them. Will winning this
argument propel them towards their goals
or defend one of their deeply-held values?
If not then they’d rather check out of the
debate. The arguments that matter to
them are ones that appeal to their values
or will have a personal effect on them.

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Although IFPs are both feeling types, they

have little patience for sugar-coating in an
argument. They appreciate kindness, but
they don’t like it when people are so
concerned about their feelings that they
can’t get to the point or be sincere. They
feel that each individual should have the
freedom to openly communicate their true
feelings in an argument. They dislike
people who shut down communication or
look for rapid resolutions. It’s paramount to
them that people feel heard.

ISFPs will be more focused on literal facts

during an argument. What actually
happened? What was observed? If people
aren’t arguing factually or with any kind of
evidence then these types will quickly get
exasperated.

INFPs will be more focused on the different

interpretations of what people are arguing
about. They will make their opponent
question everything and consider
connections that were missed. They win
an argument by showing their opponent an
alternative way of looking at things.

Because IFPs are both Introverted Feeling

types, they do tend to personalize things
in an argument. They tend to either
become emotional or distant in an
argument if a value is on the line. If they
are especially offended they may just get
up and walk away because they won’t
tolerate the offense.

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ESFPs and ESTPs – Focusing

On What’s Real and Provable
The important thing to remember with
ESFPs and ESTPS is to Get. To. The Point.
Do not theorize, extrapolate, beat-around-
the-bush, or sugarcoat things in an
argument with them. Be calm, show
respect, and be literal. ESFPs dislike
conflict and will be aggravated if the
person instigating it takes forever to
explain themselves. Both types want to
deal with arguments swiftly, using facts to
back up their assertions. They are unlikely
to argue simply for the sake of it. The
argument must serve a purpose in the real
world.

Where ESPs excel in an argument is by

using facts and real-world observations to
their advantage. ESTPs can break any
argument down and point out logical
fallacies and inaccuracies. ESFPs can
pinpoint manipulations and hidden
motivations of the people arguing. They
can break down an argument by pointing
out someone’s ulterior motives or ways
that they are being manipulative.

INFJs and INTJs – Focusing

On Implications and Long-
Term Effects
Meta-cognition is the strength of the INJ
type. When it comes to arguing, these
individuals keep their eyes on the big
picture. Their goal is to view the underlying
issues at play in a conflict and how those
issues will impact the future. They will try
to see what isn’t immediately obvious and
what might be going on behind-the-
scenes. They trust their hunches a great
deal, and this can be both a strength and a
weakness in arguments. It is a strength in
that INJs can have a very clear vision
about how a situation will play out. It can
be a weakness in that sometimes INJs
can’t explain where their insights are
coming from. Because their visions can
sometimes lack tangible observations they
can seem out-of-touch with what’s real in
the present moment.

INFJs are likely to argue in defense of

someone they care about or a value that is
important to them. They are less likely to
argue about technical details or
impersonal facts. Because they are so
conflict-averse they will rarely instigate
arguments unless it is over a value that has
been violated in some way. They will be
concerned about how everyone is feeling
emotionally in an argument and may
struggle to get their point across because
they are so worried about how people will
be impacted.

INTJs will argue over strategy, logic,

logistics, or the effectiveness of an
operation. They are less likely to
sugarcoat their words and are more likely
to offend people by being overly-direct or
assertive in their approach. They are
usually very sure of themselves and their
confidence can seem arrogant to their
opponent. As introverts, both of these
types like lots of time to think and reflect
before arguing unless they feel that they
have expertise on the subject.

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ENFJs and ESFJs – Arguing

in Defense of the People
Arguing is frustrating to these personality
types most of the time. They would rather
be probing the depths of philosophy
(ENFJ), discussing relationships and plans
(ESFJ) or both. Unless a value is at stake
or someone they care about is at risk
these types will usually steer clear of
arguing. They enjoy creating harmonious
environments, so unless a subject is
particularly important to them they may
choose to focus their attention elsewhere.
That said, they aren’t at a loss when it
comes to defending an argument.

ENFJs enjoy imparting knowledge and they

are excellent at “reading” people, so they
can be very skillful at guessing their
opponent’s motives and spotting
manipulation. ESFJs have a keen eye for
the facts and history of a situation, so they
can also be very convincing and aware of
the stake other people have in the game.
Both types struggle with keeping their
emotions out of the equation. They tend to
personalize arguments and can feel
attacked when there was no intention to
do so by their opponent. If a value is on the
line they are usually very fiery and
passionate in defense of it. Both types will
seek closure as quickly as possible.

Typically as ESFJs and ENFJs enter mid-

life or beyond they become more skillful at
emotionally detaching themselves from
the argument and focusing on the logic
behind it. This is because as they mature
and develop their thinking process also
develops. The more these types focus on
self-growth the more they will have
balanced, consistent logic in their
arguments.

ENTJs and ESTJs – Focusing

On Facts and Effectiveness
ENTJs and ESTJs are most likely to argue
when someone or something is making a
process ineffective or inefficient. They also
will argue in defense of a belief or desire
that’s important to them. These types
don’t mind a good debate unless the
people involved are relying on feelings
over facts or having out-of-proportion
emotional reactions to things. When ETJs
do argue they rely on facts, evidence,
logic, rules, and standards. They are
unlikely to be persuaded by emotional
appeals and highly unlikely to use
emotional appeals in a debate. They are
verbally quick, confident, and assertive.
These traits can make them intimidating to
some individuals, but they rarely mean to
intimidate. They can have a heated debate
with someone and not even be angry in the
slightest. A debate for the ETJ is less
about emotions/anger/getting even and
more about getting to the truth of the
matter and finding solutions.

When ENTJs argue they will back up their

logic with a focus on implications and
future ramifications. They will give more
analogies as examples. When ESTJs argue
they will focus more on the present, the
facts, and literal details and observations.
They will use clear, specific language. The
weakness of these types in arguments is
that sometimes they can become arrogant
and condescending, hurting relationships
that are important to them.

ISTJs and ISFJs – Reflective,

Careful, Fact-Based Debate
ISJs typically don’t like getting into heated
debates and arguments, especially ISFJs.
However, they will do so if something they
care about is at stake. Both types will be
very factual and literal in their arguments,
focusing on what was observed, what
actually happened, and any evidence
thereof. They are good at reinforcing their
arguments with a historical background of
the situation. They are good at seeing the
patterns in the past that led to a current
situation or problem.

ISTJs tend to be very direct and

straightforward in their arguments. They
will be inclined to argue when someone is
getting in the way of a project that needs
to be done. They hate laziness or
incompetence and will spark a debate with
someone who is slowing things down.
They like time to think through their
arguments alone before entering a debate.
They will double-check their facts and
observations before presenting them.

ISFJs are very concerned about the

emotional impacts of their words in a
debate. They will argue in defense of their
loved ones or if a value is on the line. They
are typically more conscientious with their
words and much more likely to sugarcoat
their words than ISTJs are. Most of the
time these types will avoid an argument
unless it affects something that is deeply
important to them. They don’t usually
enjoy debate and can feel overwhelmed in
the face of heated emotions.

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What Are Your Thoughts?

Did you enjoy this article? Do you have any

thoughts or insights? Let us know in the
comments!

Find out more about your personality type

in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking
the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ –
Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP –
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