A decade in IITs

I still remember the first day when I checked into Rajendra Bhawan of IIT Roorkee in July
2011. Unaware of the umpteen opportunities around me to learn and grow, I was eating
homemade laddoos sitting alone in my hostel room, thinking of how it would feel living on
your own. It was the first time I had moved out of the home to live a life (of dreams as people
call it). More than a decade later, I am sitting here in the Harvard library surrounded by
students and books (my best friends!), and thinking about how life has changed over the last
ten years. The best thing I love about IITs is the freedom that they give - you can be who you
want to be. You get exposure to explore life, do whatever you want to, and shape yourself
whichever way you can. I remember an incident that happened at the beginning of my
second year at IITR. From the second year itself, everyone was supposed to enroll in one of
the proficiencies like photography, music, dancing, etc., and since I was kind of more into
studies at that time (JEE conditioning!), I picked up the proficiency in yoga which I thought
would be relatively easy. That one decision changed my life, I realize that now when I see it.
It started opening me up, more from the inside than outside. Though it was mostly the
physical exercise format (as most people know yoga to be), it gave me depth in life - to see
beyond the material means. I got so much better in that one year, that I was made the joint
secretary in the third year. Those were the days when I used to go cycling by the Ganga
canal in the morning, attend classes during the day, play table tennis after the classes in the
student club, go to the gym, do an hour of yoga class, and run 8-10 rounds of the main
ground. And after dinner, I used to stand in the balcony of the 8th floor (where my room was
at that time in Radhakrishnan Bhawan) till 3 at night, absorbing the peace of nature, and the
silence of the stars. From that silence, emerged my writing - I started writing poetry. That
gave me the power to get rid of something which lives inside you but doesn’t abide by you.
Things that I couldn't say at that time somehow came out in form of poems.

Soon, as life gained more depth, I got introduced to hardcore books on life and beyond -
Siddharth by Herman Hesse, and Animal Farm by George Orwell to name a few. The last
year of my Btech is what I most remember - that year I did my first solo travel. After
canceling a couple of times, I gathered courage and booked a ticket to Amritsar and went
alone with a backpack. As it happens with every kid from UP/Bihar, I also had a family
pressure of preparing for UPSC. Since I was always in love with knowledge, I joined a
weekend coaching as many other folks were doing. I enjoyed the classes and the learning
but left it after a few months realizing that this direction was not for me. By the fourth year,
people started preparing for jobs and careers. I still remember I used to come back from the
ground after playing for hours and used to see folks in suits returning from campus
placements. I never applied to any companies as I never wanted to be a corporate slave. I
don’t think it was a deep realization at that time but it was something that was not my dream
(as these jobs are generally sold as dreams! Though I wonder how profit maximization can
be called a dream. A dream is something that doesn’t let you sleep. But most corporate guys
I have seen look bored in their so-called dream jobs). I was not clear about what to do in life
but I was very much clear about what not to do.

Those days we used to gather in one of our friend’s rooms to watch movies, order pizzas,
play cards, and chill. One of those days, I saw a video playing about the IITG campus. The
natural beauty attracted me at first - that stayed with me for a couple of days. A thought
occurred that there could be a way to extend this process of self-exploration, as I knew it will
be much more difficult if I go out and get into some job. I explored more and applied to the
M.Tech position at IITG. I still remember I went there for the interview, and I was sitting in a
room for document verification. The HoD came and asked who were the applicants from IITs
- I raised my hand and looked back to see that I was the only one. That was not so
surprising as not many BTechs from IITs pursue Masters from IITs as well. I gave the
interview and got into the program. Nevertheless, two years were mostly spent in
self-exploration, even though the outlook was on the outer side. I started observing myself
as an outsider - how I am acting in certain situations, what feelings are overcoming me when
I am talking to someone, etc. I started giving challenges to myself and putting myself in
conditions that I never faced before. I traveled a lot, read a lot, watched international cinema,
and explored life. Well, by the end of the two years, I was more or less clear that research is
something that I can pursue. I wanted to work on something novel - something which nobody
touched before - something which is more useful and applicable. I selected a professor, gave
the interview, and got into Ph.D. at IIT Bombay. For my thesis, I conducted a first-hand
investigation on the drunk driving behavior of Indian drivers. The best things I have got in life
are teachers whom I came across. They benefitted me in both ways - some whom I respect
a lot and some from whom I learned what I shouldn’t do in life. Last year, I finished my Ph.D.
within the time frame of 3 years and 9 months, with 15 journal publications (12 from Ph.D.
work and 3 other collaborations), 2 book chapters in international encyclopedias, a best
paper award, and several international conferences. I was clear that I will apply to a few
faculty positions at IITs and would get in one of them and would stay in IITs forever all my
life. I gave interviews for a few of them but things didn’t work out due to many reasons which
were quite obvious to me but still, I was into it as I was enjoying the process. In one of the
faculty interviews, a senior professor asked me “In our days, we used to get our PhDs with 1
or 2 papers, how did you manage to get 15?”. I wanted to say the real thing - “It’s not about
papers. It’s about how much you are into your research and what it means to you. I used to
think about research all the time. It had more or less become my life. And those papers were
not my sweat and blood, rather they emerged from my soul” but I didn’t say that and gave
the typical stereotype answer - “I worked hard, the area was novel, blah blah.” Deep down
when I think now, maybe I was not giving my 100% in those interviews knowing that they
were not going to take me even if I gave my everything. But I simply loved the whole
process. That’s what I enjoy the most - the art of loving what I do.

However, in the process, I had forgotten the old me who used to give myself challenges and
who loved challenges. I realized that IITs have become a comfort zone for me, and I was
trying to build a home there and get settled for life. I had forgotten the verses of Kabir who
used to say “burn your house and come with me” indicating that you should never settle for
something, always challenge yourself and that will help you grow. This time, some higher
power was doing my job and throwing challenges at me. I haven’t seen many rejections in
life, and these couple of rejections were trying to bog me down. But somehow I felt it all
amusing. I absorbed whatever I was feeling and started looking for better alternatives. For
those who face hurdles in life, I would suggest that let that moment pass, think calmly, and
there is always something better waiting for you. I started applying for postdoc positions, and
I got 5 offers at once within a couple of months. One of them was from Harvard which I took
obviously. This time I have given myself many more challenges - I am working in medical
research (though I have an engineering background), I have to debug software as a part of
my job (though I am not a CS guy), I have administrative and managerial duties, my
research is with patients (who give a completely different perspective of life; I love talking to
them), and conducting psychological tests is a part of the job (though I am not from
humanities background). Here, I am exploring everything - medical, engineering,
psychological, management, and apart from that, let’s talk about Harvard libraries. Harvard
has many libraries (6 I have been to) and so many books - a wonderful place to be! But
that’s what I have learned from life and sages like Kabir, Krishna, and Buddha; they all say
that never settle for anything but the truth - the truth is far beyond. That’s the only purpose of
life - to try to reach that highest possibility of the self.

I will always be thankful to IITs for making me who I am today. The person who entered into
the IIT campus was meek and shy, and the person who came out of it was strong, powerful,
fearless, and courageous. All that credit goes to IITs. I don't know what the future holds for
me but the past has been glorious in zillion ways. I would suggest to all my students - go out
of your rooms/comfort zones, explore life, there is so much to do, try everything, pick up
hobbies, and interact with your hostel mates because this is the phase that can either groom
you or can destroy you - and take your career decisions wisely. First, ask yourself this
question: do you really want to pursue that career? What will you get from that? What use
will it be for society? The work you do defines your life. Don’t follow others’ dreams or do
what everyone is doing around you. It’s your life. Write a story of your own! And extract the
most out of every passing moment - as it will never come back. Be wise, have a burning fire
in you, and live like a king.

Enjoy!