Relationships/Dionysus-Demeter
1 Dionysus
Celebrities Viktor Frankl, John Lennon, Jerry Gar-
cia, Charles Manson, Roger Daltrey, Robert Plant,
James Taylor, John Belushi, Bhagwan Shree Ra-
jneesh (Osho), Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix.
Hairstyle Long, wild, sexy hair and beard.
Shoes Sandals.
Mythology Dionysus was the god of wine. He was
also the god of ecstasy and enraptured love, pain
and suffering, and death and rebirth. He traveled
widely, teaching grape cultivation and winemak-
ing. Madness and violence followed him. Women
worshipped him. The women drank wine, danced
wildly, then tore an animal to pieces and ate the raw
flesh. The Romans knew him as Bacchus.
Emotional Control System The quest for meaning
may be hardwired into our brains.
Life Purpose A Dionysus man’s life purpose is a quest
for meaning. He lives by ideals and principles that
he has yet to discover.
Shadow
Dionysus men lack “real world” goals. They're
questing for principles, and haven't yet discov-
ered these principles.
They enjoy resting or doing nothing-especially
if alcoholic beverages are available. When
faced with a decision they let their partner
decide, saying, “I'll be happy with whatever
makes you happy.”
A Dionysus man has a close relationship with
his mother-a “mama’s boy.” He’s her “divine
child,” with a sense of specialness or destiny.
In adult life, a Dionysus man may resent people
not recognizing his specialness, e.g., when they
expect him to do mundane work. He may have
mood swings between low self-esteem and ego
inflation. He may have substance abuse issues.
“Wounding” is central to Dionysus. “Wound-
ing” can be a life-threatening illness, e.g., can-
cer, which makes a man feel as if he has been
dismembered and then reassembled as a new
person.[1] Or “wounding” can be a painful ex-
perience that forces an individual to break from
“the flat ennui of numbing conformity to cul-
tural and familial expectations.”[2] E.g., Viet-
nam veterans say that their experiences hurt
them deeply and forced them to question their
government and the previous generation’s val-
ues, but the hard lessons were worth learning.
Dionysus men can become cult leaders. They
attract followers, especially women. But the
followers go mad. The followers may commit
crimes opposite to the ideals espoused by their
leader. E.g., no evidence indicated that Bhag-
wan Shree Rajneesh was involved in his follow-
ers’ poisoning of 751 residents of The Dalles,
Oregon (see “Women’s Power,” page 40).
Under Stress Under stress, Dionysus individuals be-
come Poseidon. They become wildly, out-of-
control emotional.
When Safe Under safety, Dionysus becomes Zeus.
E.g., when Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh became rich he
wanted to be respectable. He wanted Rolls-Royce
automobiles. Unable to control himself, he bought
93 Rolls-Royces.
Other Personality Type Systems Dionysus is repre-
sented in astrology by Sagittarius (the quest for
meaning), and the 9th House (of Long Journeys
Over Water, and higher education). Dionysus is En-
neagram personality type #9, the Peacemaker.
Sex Women surround Dionysus men. A Dionysus man
has many female friends, and many of these are
lovers. His emotional wounds attract their nurtur-
ing instinct. His sensuality and appreciation of their
beauty, and his ecstatic lovemaking becomes addic-
tive to women. Dionysus is
...the more feminized male
ideal, who started rearing his
long-haired head in the late 1960s
and early '70s. Though they carried
themselves with all-male swagger,
frontmen Roger Daltrey of The
Who and Robert Plant of Led
Zeppelin were clearly in touch
1
2 3 DIONYSUS-DEMETER MARRIAGE

with their feminine sides. Women
couldn't get enough of these emo-
tional yet masculine men....1980s
hair bands such as Mötley Crüe
and Poison [showed that] some
women liked men all dolled up
in makeup and hairspray wearing
pants that left absolutely nothing to
the imagination.[3]
—Kate Flatley
Everywhere Demeter wandered, she broke plows, de-
stroyed farms and cattle, made fields barren, and
blighted seeds so they couldn't grow.[5] She used
her anger emotional control system, symbolized by
Ares.
Finally, Demeter disguised herself as an old woman.
She met the daughters of the king of Eleusis (near
Athens). She offered to do any domestic work in
their household.[6] Willingness to work is symbol-
ized by Hephaestus.

Meeting To meet Dionysus men, go to a wine bar-or When Safe When safe, Demeter women become
join a cult. Apollo. They enjoy a symphony or art museum.

Other Personality Type Systems Demeter is repre-

2 Demeter sented in astrology by Cancer (empathy and nurtur-
ing). Demeter is Enneagram personality type #2,
Celebrities Eleanor Roosevelt, Mother Theresa, Bar- the Nurturer.
bara Bush.
Sex Demeter women are warm and affectionate, but are
Favorite Movie Little Women, starring Susan Saran- more into hugs than sex. Use condoms because she
don, Claire Danes, and Winona Ryder (1994). may not be using birth control. If she gets pregnant,
she'll keep the child.
Mythology Demeter was the goddess of the harvest and
of motherhood. The Romans knew Demeter as Meeting To meet Demeter women, play with children.
Ceres (the root of our word cereal). Borrow a baby and go to a beach. Go to a park and
play with women’s dogs.
Emotional Control System Demeter energy is nurtur-
ing.
3 Dionysus-Demeter Marriage
Life Purpose A Demeter woman lives for her children,
or to help other people. Demeter women love their A Dionysus-Demeter marriage tempers wounding and
children regardless of whether a child is rebellious, nurturing. A couple that successfully uses this energy
disabled, gay, or the governor of Texas. heals their psychological and spiritual traumas.

Shadow Demeter women give to get love. They'll sac- Dionysus Dionysus’s marriage to Ariadne was the only
rifice their own needs, then expect something back. healthy marriage on Mt. Olympus.[7] (Anyone who
They give unsolicited help, then feel used or cheated wants “a marriage made in heaven” hasn't read
when the recipient doesn't express gratitude or re- Greek mythology.)
turn a favor. The problem isn't ungrateful recipients.
The problem is that the Demeter woman doesn't rec- But the wife of a Dionysus man can also find her life
ognize that people don't need her help. alternating between ecstasy and suffering, between
“pandemonium and deathly silence.”[8]
Too much Demeter energy makes an individual ob-
sessed with diet, stress-reduction classes, or fitness.
Too little Demeter energy leads to working long Demeter Demeter women marry for children. The
hours without eating, relaxing, or taking a vacation. husband-or sperm donor -is only a means to her end.
A woman who works too much may overcompen-
Zeus men are happy to provide sperm, but their relation-
sate by obsession with diet and fitness.
ship goes downhill-fast-after the transfer.

Under Stress Under stress, Demeter women become
Artemis, Ares, and Hephaestus. After Hades
abducted Demeter’s daughter, Demeter wandered
over the earth, day and night, without eating or
drinking.[4] This is the seeking behavior emotional
control system, symbolized by Artemis.
A Dionysus-Demeter marriage echoes a mother and
her only son. His central issue was “wounding”
and suffering. Her central ability was nurturing.
A Dionysus-Demeter marriage may look like a
mother/son relationship, but they'll give what the
other needs.
 3

4 References
[1] The Religion of Small Societies, (Knowledge Products,
1994, ISBN 1-56823-016-8), tape 1 side A.

[2] Moore, Tom, in Puer Papers, edited by James Hillman

(ISBN 0882143107).

[3] Flatley, Kate. “TV: How Music Fueled the Sexual Revo-
lution,” The Wall Street Journal, August 6, 2001, A11.

[4] Parada, Carlos. Genealogical Guide to Greek Mythology

(Coronet Books, 1993, ISBN: 9170810621) http://www.
hsa.brown.edu/~{}maicar/Persephone.html

[5] Parada, Carlos. Genealogical Guide to Greek Mythology

(Coronet Books, 1993, ISBN: 9170810621) http://www.
hsa.brown.edu/~{}maicar/Persephone.html.

[6] Parada, Carlos. Genealogical Guide to Greek Mythology

(Coronet Books, 1993, ISBN: 9170810621) http://www.
hsa.brown.edu/~{}maicar/Persephone.html.

[7] Bolen, Jean Shinoda. Gods in Everyman (HarperCollins,

1989, ISBN 0060972807), p. 254.

[8] Bolen, Jean Shinoda. Gods in Everyman (HarperCollins,

1989, ISBN 0060972807), p. 254.

← Ares-Hephaestus-Aphrodite · Hades-Persephone →
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