“And there came, in a time of need, those who would oversee this most noble task.

They were the guardians, sent forth by the Supreme Being to do his will.
They sought, they collected and they catalogued according to his bidding, set down within
the sanctions of their most sacred texts.
They were the beings of infinity
They were the masters over space and time

But all of this, you understand, is in past tense …”

[From the Writings of Dr. Wyatt Skylar]

 CHAPTER FIFTEEN

THE MAN IN THE RED VELVET COAT

The halls of Dailymotion were hushed and empty as the light of the portal Elysium
had torn through the fabric of reality faded away.
Elion’s hand-held computer buzzed erratically as soon as the team stepped
through into their home Universe. The Universe that was doomed unless they acted
quickly.
‘YOU-HAVE-SIX-THOUSAND-EIGHT-HUNDRED-NEW-MESSAGES’ The machine blipped as
Elion checked it. ‘-FIRST-NEW-MESSAGE-RECEIVED-YESTERDAY-AT-NINE-O-THREE-AM
… “Elion! It’s Jason, look, not to rush you, but you guys really need to get a move on. I don’t
know how long the stabilizers on The Black Hole are going to last. But however long you
think you’ve got I’d half that time and even then you’re probably overestimating quite a bit
… so step on it!” … -SECOND-NEW-MESSAGE-RECEIVED-YESTERDAY-AT-NINE-THIRTY-
ONE-AM- … “It’s Jason again, look, I know this must sound like I’m nagging, but you
seriously can’t understand how little time we’ve actually” … MESSAGES-DELETED-END-
OF-MESSAGES’
Elion took his finger off of the Delete button and flipped the computer closed. ‘I
hope he actually spent some time trying to fix the thing.’
‘Well, reality’s still here,’ Red said abruptly. ‘He must be doing something right … now
come on … let’s go find the Man in the Red Velvet Coat before he does a runner.’
‘And when we find him,’ Elion started.
‘If,’ Asawin added.
‘Okay, if we find him,’ Elion said, running to catch up with Red who had stormed off up
the central corridor of Dailymotion. ‘We’re going to leave him to fix the Universe first,
right?’
‘I told you,’ Red shrugged. ‘I can’t promise you that.’
‘BUT I PROMISE YOU,’ Elysium said, patting Red on the shoulder as she strode past
them. ‘IF YOU TOUCH THIS MAN BEFORE HE’S FINISHED HIS DESTINED TASKS … I’LL
TEAR OFF YOUR TESTICLES AND JAM THEM INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS … OKAY?’ She
gave them a curt smile and paced off ahead.
‘Uhm …’ Red said, rolling his shoulders. ‘I err … I guess I’ll contain myself.’
‘What has this person done to ruin your life?’ Totoro questioned.
‘Surprisingly little,’ Red said bitterly. ‘He just swooped in, stood there while his friend …
well … his enemy killed my partner and then disappeared without a word. No
explanation. How was I supposed to explain that at the station? How was I supposed to
tell all of the other guys on the force that Jim was killed by a guy who zaps people with
lightning from his fingers, gets younger while he does it and then disappears into thin
air?
‘Do you know what they do to people who come back with stories like that?’
‘I’d imagine they’d section you,’ Jeebus commented. ‘Enemas optional.’
‘Close enough,’ Red fumed. ‘This guy’s got so much to answer for, starting with taking me
to that life-sucking asshole in green.’
‘Well, sort it out once he’s fixed the Black Hole, yeah?’ Elion scowled as they came down
a dark, dimly lit walkway.
The fluorescent lights overhead flickered as they paced down further into
perpetual darkness. There, at the end of the corridor, Room Fifty-Eight loomed at them,
its singular, plain door unremarkable in its simplicity.
‘Here we go,’ Elion said, grasping the handle and puffing out a long breath. ‘This is it …’
‘Open the damn door,’ Jeebus hissed.
‘Fine,’ Elion said, his face dropping. ‘God forbid we should inject any tension into the
situation.’
‘THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO END …’ Elysium said harshly. ‘WE’RE TENSE ENOUGH AS
IT IS.’
‘Good point,’ Elion nodded and tore open the door, revealing a small pitch-black room
beyond the threshold. It was empty.
‘Well, where is he?’ Red demanded. ‘Have we missed him?’
‘I don’t know!’ Elion retorted. ‘The Oracle said that he would get here the same time that
we did and would disappear shortly after.’
‘Maybe we’ve missed him,’ Asawin suggested.
‘Goddamit!’ Elion thundered, slamming the door. ‘If we’ve missed him because we spent
so much time talking about our problems and what we’re going to do! Then I swear …’
Elion stopped what he was saying and turned back to the door. He had paced
back up the corridor in frustration, but something caught his attention. A noise was
coming from inside the room. An abrupt, deep-set noise. The sound of ancient engines
roaring into existence. Engines that had not been used for thousands of years suddenly
being forced into action. Grinding and scraping, shrieking in an undulating fashion as
wave after wave of the grotesque sound echoed down the corridor at them.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOK!
The sound shook through them as they stared blankly at the simple, white door.
Its tiny label “58” seemed to blaze at them as the noise came to a peak.
VROOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOK! VROOOOOOOOOOK!
Then, it vanished again, leaving nothing but silence to fall between them.
‘What the hell was that?’ Elion frowned, turning to Asawin.
‘Don’t look at me,’ Asawin shrugged. ‘I’ve never heard anything like that before.’
‘I have …’ Red growled. ‘It’s his noise … it’s him … he’s in there. I didn’t realize that it
was anything strange at the time, but hearing it now, here, it’s something to do with him
…’
Elion shushed him, pressing his ear to the door.
‘I can hear somebody in there,’ Elion whispered.
‘How’s that possible?’ Jeebus cocked his head to one side. ‘There’s only that one door.
Nobody’s passed by us … not even a pigeon.’
‘Well, somebody’s definitely in there,’ Elion said, narrowing his eyes and grasping the
door handle again. ‘Fingers crossed,’ he said in a hushed whisper, and threw the door
open wide.

‘We had better return to The Mercury Rooms,’ Vash said as the team gathered
themselves together. ‘Leara has friends there; we should make them aware of what has
happened as soon as possible.’
‘I think that’s a matter best left to the Police,’ Arina said, cutting across him and turning
to the Martian Manhunter. ‘Your friends are taking a fair few liberties here, J’onn,’ she
said warningly. ‘They might have been issued with their toy guns and have free reign of a
few spaces of Internet, but they’re not the law.’
‘OOOH,’ Mooney whispered quietly in Danny’s ear. ‘I DO LIKE IT WHEN THEY’RE
FEISTY.’
Sasja narrowed his eyes at Mooney from across the room. Apparently he had
heard what the Planetar had said.
‘If they’ve signed up to your forum, then you’ll have their personal details,’ Arina
continued unabated. ‘We’ll inform the families first. I’d appreciate it if you keep this
incident to yourselves until they’ve been fully briefed.’
‘We understand,’ Vash nodded.
‘Good,’ Arina nodded. ‘Then that saves me some time and effort spelling it out for you …’
She glanced over at Beakedbard who had lit up a rather large spliff. ‘You’d better not be
smoking pot around an Officer of the Law,’ she snarled.
Beakedbard blinked at her several times dizzily before removing the joint, puffing
out a large plume of smoke and shrugging. ‘It’s medicinal,’ he grunted.
‘Put it out,’ Danny hissed, yanking the marijuana away from the Hippo.
‘Okay then, spaceman,’ Arina said to Manhunter. ‘Let’s go and see these Mercury Rooms
that everybody’s been fusing about.’
‘Would you like me to accompany you?’ Sasja asked.
‘I think you better had, Angelus,’ Arina nodded, looking between Manhunter and
Mooney. ‘It looks like things are only going to get weirder from here on in.’

Elion stood; framed in the doorway, looking into the room where before there had
been nothing but emptiness. But that was no longer the case. In the centre of the room,
there now stood a red pillar with a black base and a white square on the front of it. He
would later be informed that this was an English post box. But the pillar did not concern
him; it was the man in the red velvet coat lying crumpled in a heap at the base, gasping
for air that he had come here to see.
The man propped himself up on his elbows, staggering weakly, unsuccessfully
trying to get to his feet.
‘Hello?’ Elion said unsurely. The man’s head snapped round to look in Elion’s direction.
He ran a hand through his short, dark-brown hair and wheezed in a lungful of air.
‘Who’s there?’ the man asked, shielding his eyes from the light of the corridor, taking
each breath as it came.
‘My name is Elion,’ Elion said assertively, once again trying to word what he was going to
say correctly. ‘I came here for your help.’
The man in the Red Velvet Coat spluttered a cough and sank back against the red
post box, his face drenched with sweat. He gulped in air again and looked at Elion as
though him being there was the last thing that he needed right now.
‘What kind of help?’ The man asked finally, holding his side in obvious pain.
‘Our Black Hole Operating System was attacked,’ Elion explained. ‘If we don’t find
somebody who can fix it … the Universe is going to be destroyed.’
At this, the man lifted an eyebrow.
‘You … you can’t be serious,’ the man groaned, picking himself up unsteadily and hissing
in discomfort, he was fishing around inside the pockets of his coat, taking out odd items,
trinkets and bits of rubbish, deciding either to throw them to the floor or replace them as
he searched each pocket.
‘Won’t be needing those,’ he said, throwing a pack of cigarettes away.
‘So …’ Elion said unsurely after the man had gone through all of his pockets at least
twice and thrown away hundreds of scrunched up pieces of paper, an empty
complimentary bottle of bourbon, a large collection of trinkets and about fifty pens. ‘Can
you help us?’ Elion inquired.
The man turned to look at him again and regarded him as though he had
forgotten that Elion was there.
‘Help you?’ He puffed. ‘Surely you can find somebody to fix your … thing by yourself …
I’m a … a little busy right now …’
‘No, you don’t understand,’ Elion spluttered. ‘I … we … were sent here to find you. We
were told you would be able to fix it.’
‘Really?’ The man asked in surprise. ‘Who?’
‘The Illusive Oracle,’ Elion replied. ‘He said that we should come here to find the Man in
the Red Velvet Coat …’
The man looked down at his coat, checking to make sure it was both red and
velvet. It was.
‘Blimey,’ he puffed. ‘That’s rather specific … don’t suppose you got a name to go with
that worryingly accurate description?’
‘No,’ Elion shook his head.
‘Pity,’ the man said, holding his head. ‘I seem to have forgotten it.’
‘Forgotten your name?’ Elion frowned. ‘How can you forget your name?’
‘Oh, do us a favour!’ The man huffed. ‘I’ve just Degenerated and … oh,’ he stopped
suddenly, clamping his hand to his forehead. ‘That’s an odd word … de-gen-er-a-ted …
de-generated … degener-a-ted … hmmm … weird. I mean, it could be a word I use for
hibernation or something … That could explain the Amnesia of course, but then there’s
be atrophy in my muscles too if that were the case … de-gener-at-ed. It could be a brand
name of a process I suppose … like a transport system or something. Sounds like a
brand name … Degenerate to the other side of the Universe! That’s likely I suppose … oh,
this is very strange. Nothing like this has ever happened before … although I’m only
assuming that you understand. I couldn’t tell for certain, this kind of thing could happen
to me all the time and I’d never know it. Still, it’s only the episodic memory that’s
affected. Pi’s still fixed, I still know how many Quinzelots there are to the Orion Pound …
and I’m pretty sure that these shoes are too big for me …’
‘Look, we’re running out of time,’ Elion said hastily. ‘We’ve got to go now! Can you fix a
Black Hole Operating System or not?’
‘Well,’ the man sniffed. ‘That all depends upon whether or not your spatial-capacitator
has fused and if there’s enough power to renew the energy bindings … oooh,’ his hand
shot to his forehead again. ‘I don’t know how I know that …’ he said, seemingly to
himself. ‘I really don’t know how I know any of it …’
‘It doesn’t matter how you know it!’ Elion said, loosing patience slightly. ‘Would you come
and put it to good use and fix it before it destroys everything?!’
‘What?’ The man frowned, flustered as he looked around all of the things that lay
scattered about the floor. ‘Oh, yes, right, Universe, poof, blahdy-blah, yes, alright then,
come on … follow me …’ He strode up to the door and marched past Elion.
‘Do you know where you’re going?’ Elion frowned.
‘Ah … no,’ the man said snapping his fingers. ‘On second thoughts … you lead the way
… That’s probably, better for all … concerned … I’m hot, is anybody else hot?’
He was in the corridor now and span around on the spot in a confused fashion,
looking at each of the team individually. At some he squinted and at others he stared in
wide-eyed confusion.
‘That’s not him,’ Red said savagely.
‘Of course it’s him!’ Jeebus said enthusiastically. ‘Room fifty-eight. Red Velvet Coat … I
think he’s our guy.’
‘Yes, but this isn’t the same man I’m looking for,’ Red said, biting his lip. ‘The one I saw
was taller with long, blonde curly hair … and no beard …’
‘I’ve got a beard?’ The man exclaimed with delight, feeling his chin. ‘Wow! Anybody got a
mirror?’
‘GUYS!’ Elion hissed, steering the man away from them. ‘More important things to do,
remember?’
‘YES!’ The man in the Red Velvet Coat declared. ‘We’ve got a Universe to save! … Haven’t
we?’
‘Yes,’ Elion huffed, leading the way back towards the Exit Portal of Dailymotion. ‘And
we’re running out of time!’

He felt it. It was a terrible feeling. One of the worst feelings that he could have
imagined. But he felt it all the same. He could not have dreamed of a sensation more
unpleasant than to feel a part of himself dying. The force was such that Buster found
himself heaving into a trash can. Thee was no other way to explain it, Super Saiyan was
dead. How was that possible?
Saiyan’s were one of the most powerful races in existence. Their strength was
ostensibly unsurpassed throughout the Universe with only a few minor exceptions. It
was the best subject that Buster could have gotten hold of on this miserable little world
… and now it was dead.
‘ … The Martian …’ Buster scowled to himself. He knew it had been a mistake to involve
the Martian. It was one of the factors that could have completely screwed up his plans,
and apparently it had done just that. He had been hoping that The Manhunter – being a
force for justice – would have blown the whistle on the Black Hole’s malfunction and
descended the entire community of Video Thieves into anarchy and chaos … but no … it
was not to be.
He pounded the wall with his fist. He felt pain as his knuckles bruised. Having a
body made of flesh and blood was going to take some getting used to. The ability that the
boy had possessed was just what the Buster-Bot’s cold-calculating mind needed, but this
was a steep price to pay for the power.
He would need to recruit stronger allies. He would need to infect the minds of
beings with superior strength if he was going to accomplish the task he had been
programmed to do. He would need infinitely better equipped soldiers to do what had to
be done. He would not sleep; he would not rest for an instant, until The Mercury Rooms
were destroyed.

‘Think! Think! Think!’ The man in the Red Velvet coat repeated quietly to himself as he
slapped his forehead in quick succession. ‘Name … Name … Name … URGH! This is
futile!’ He declared finally. ‘Any of you ever suffered from Amnesia? … No?’
The other shook their heads. ‘Oh, why does everything have to be so difficult?!’ He
huffed as they stepped out of the Portal into The Mercury Rooms and quickly headed for
The Black Hole Room.
Elion halted at the door and turned to Elysium and Asawin.
‘Sorry,’ he shrugged. ‘Moderators only.’
‘YOUR MYSTERY MAN IS NOT A MODERATOR,’ Elysium said pointedly.
‘No, but he can’t very well fix it from out here now can he?’ Jeebus remarked, ushering
the man in the Red Velvet Coat through the door.
‘THAT’S FINE,’ Elysium shrugged corralling Asawin to her. ‘I SHALL EXPLORE FINK’S
LITTLE DREAM LAND …’ She leered at Elion with a dangerous glint in her eyes. ‘BUT IF
YOU LET HIM SLIP OUT OF YOUR SITE AND DISAPPEAR … I’LL PULL YOUR HEART OUT
THROUGH BELLY BUTTON AND THEN SUFFOCATE YOU WITH IT … UNDERSTAND?’ She
smiled sweetly as she swept off into the crowds of The Mercury Rooms.
‘Perfectly,’ Elion gulped.

‘Oh!’ The man in the Red Velvet Coat declared in awe as he stepped inside the Room.
‘Look at you!’ He smiled, crouching beside the Black Hole itself. The entire vortex was
lurching violently, sparking purple and blue energy about the room. ‘ … Did you know
that this thing is about to break out of its bindings and destroy the Universe?’ He asked
airily.
‘Y’think?!’ Jeebus said sardonically.
‘YOU TOOK YOUR SWEET TIME!’ Jason thundered at Elion, careening out of the hole in
the wall. ‘AND WHO THE HELL IS THIS?’
‘Freaka-chu,’ the man said suddenly, getting to his feet. ‘Yes … that definitely sounds
familiar … Freak-a-chu … Freaka-chu … It’s not right, there’s something odd, but I
definitely know that name … It’ll do for now … can’t keep calling me “him” or “that” now
can you?’ He laughed to himself and reached inside his pocket, producing a device that
looked like a chunky pen-torch. Red’s eyes widened when he saw it and made a grab for
the object, but Elion held him back. Freaka-chu didn’t notice the exchange; he was
already halfway inside the wall.
‘What’s the matter now?’ Elion asked angrily.
‘That’s his!’ Red shot back. ‘That’s the weapon the other guy in red had … they must be a
club or something … like the Men in Black.’
Elion shook his head. ‘Fix first, conspiracy theories later.’
‘Oh, dear me, you’ve had some cowboys in here,’ the man calling himself Freaka-chu
muttered as his leather shoes disappeared completely into the opening.
‘Cowboys?’ Jason exclaimed angrily, his grip tightening on his wrench.
‘What-on-Betamax has been going on in here?!’ came the voice of the man who had
called himself Freaka-chu, right before a mass of panelling and circuitry was flung out of
the opening.
‘I’ve only just replaced that part!’ Jason shouted.
‘It would seem he is more familiar with this technology then you, Jason,’ Totoro said
sagely. ‘Let him work.’
‘We’d better let Fink know that we’re back,’ Jeebus said dryly to Elion, who nodded.
‘FINK!’ Elion shouted at the ceiling. ‘FINK!’
‘I AM HERE,’ Fink replied. ‘IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU ALL SAFE AND WELL … WAS
YOUR MISSION SUCCESSFUL?’
‘Ooh, big boomy voice coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once? You must be the
big boss man around here,’ the man who had called himself Freaka-chu was stood
amongst them again, a bright smile on his face as he took in the surroundings.
‘What are you doing?’ Jason spat. ‘You’re supposed to be fixing the Black Hole aren’t
you?’
‘What?’ Freaka-chu raised his eyebrows. ‘Again? I’ve repaired it once.’
‘You what?’ Jason exclaimed, running over to the open panel in the wall. The circuitry
that had been charred and damaged beyond repair had been completely removed and the
system rewired back on itself. There was no way it could have been done so quickly, not
with regular methods anyway. When he asked Freaka-chu about it, he would simply
wink and wave the strange metal device at him as if it explained everything.
‘So, that’s it?’ Jeebus asked wryly. ‘The Black Hole’s working again?’
‘Well, it was always working,’ Freaka-chu replied, crouching down at the edge of the hole.
‘Just now its not going to kill everyone, everything, everywhere … I think that’s the name
of a song I know … oh well,’ he shrugged.
‘WE ARE ENDEBTED TO YOU … FREAKA-CHU,’ Vatex’s voice rang. ‘WE CANNOT
POSSIBLY THANK YOU ENOUGH.’
‘Oh, don’t mention it,’ Freaka-chu said, waving a hand. ‘All in a day’s work … though I’m
not sure about that … It might be all in a day’s work. I might be an electrician … then
again … It might be completely alien to me … I could be a pencil pusher … or a lawyer …’
‘Or a Doctor,’ Totoro added. This seemed to strike a chord with the man in the Red Velvet
Coat.
‘A what?’ he asked, his head snapping round, his eyes wide.
‘A Doctor,’ Totoro repeated. ‘A person who heals the sick.’
‘Are you remembering something?’ Elion asked carefully.
‘I … don’t … know …’ Freaka-chu said, his hand on his forehead again. ‘There was
something … but … it’s gone …’
‘So, that’s it then?’ Red asked bluntly. ‘Universe saved? All’s right with the world?’
‘IT WOULD APPEAR THAT WAY,’ Fink said brightly.
‘I can not believe the task was so easily accomplished,’ Totoro mused.
‘Steady on,’ Jeebus grunted. ‘I wouldn’t call all that crap we just went through easy.’
‘I can think of a few words,’ Elion said, folding his arms. ‘But easy isn’t one of them.’
‘Well, easy or not easy for anybody-slash-everybody concerned, it’s done,’ Freaka-chu
said with an exaggerated wink.
‘THIS IS GREAT!’ Krizzo yipped happily. ‘WE’VE GOTTA THROW A PARTY OR
SOMETHING!’
‘Well, I see you’ve already opened up The Mercury Rooms,’ Elion said, peering out of the
door. ‘So, you’ll have to invent an occasion.’
‘Well, we thought it was best to give everybody something nice before the Universe went
kablooey,’ Jason shrugged.
‘I SUPPOSE WE COULD ALWAYS DECLARE FRIDAY’S OPENING UNOFFICIAL,’ Vatex
suggested. ‘AND WE COULD ANNOUNCE THE REAL OPENING TOMORROW.’
‘Oh, do we really need a reason for a good old knees up?’ Freaka-chu puffed, perching
himself at the edge of the barrier that ran around the Black Hole. ‘I’d say just go for it,
put on a shindig. If there’s booze I doubt anybody would question why.’
‘The man talks sense,’ Jason said with a smile. ‘First bit I’ve heard from him, but it was
sense.’ He nodded and looked the group up and down. ‘Guys,’ he said, gulping as his
face fell. ‘Where’s Will-ko?’