Yn 10-4-19

YEAST NATION
(the triumph of life)
by
Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann
Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann

c/o Chris Till
CAA
450 Lexington Avenue
NYC, NY 10174
212-277-9000
chris.till@caa.com
SETTING
The bottom of the primordial sea
TIME
3,000458,000 BC
CHARACTERS (Note: Jan is pronounced “Yahn”)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED.............. Chorus Leader, blind seer,

strangely prescient
JAN-THE-ELDER................ First creature to swim the

seas, King of the yeasts
JAN-THE-WISE................. First counselor to the King,

wisest of the yeasts
JAN-THE-SECOND-OLDEST........ The King’s son, first in line

to the throne
JAN-THE-SWEET................ A sweet soul, daughter of

Jan-the-Wretched
JAN-THE-SLY.................. The King’s daughter, second in

line to the throne
JAN-THE-FAMISHED............. A hungry soul, mother of

Jan-the-Youngest
JAN-THE-WRETCHED............. A wretched soul, father of

Jan-the-Sweet
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST............. Youngest of the yeasts, newly

born to Jan-the-Famished
THE NEW ONE.................. A new life form, daughter of

Jan-the-Second-Oldest
THE CHORUS................... Guards, attendants, citizens
CHORUS-2..................... Unnamed’s servant child
More New Ones................ More creatures altogether new

to the world, like the New One
SONG LISTING
Act I
1. Hear the Song Unnamed & Company

2. You Are My Children Elder & Company
3. Burnin’ Soul Sweet & Second
4. I’ll Change the World Second
Around Her
5. Little Sister Sly & Famished
6. Alone Elder, Wise, Second & Sweet
7. Let Us Rise Second & Sweet
8. Stasis is the Membrane Sly, Famished, Wise & Chorus
9. Liar Wise & Sweet
10. Act One Finale Company
Act II
11. You Don’t Know a Thing Unnamed & Company

About Love
12. Me Good The New One, Elder & Company
13. Don’t Be a Traitor to Love Sly & Wise
14. You’re Not the Yeast You Second & Sweet
Used to Be
15. Love Equals Pain Unnamed, Sweet & Chorus
16. Let Us Rise Reprise Elder & New One
16A. Meat The New One
16B. Meat - First Reprise The New One
16C. Meat - Second Reprise The New One
17. Doom-Love-Doom Elder & Company
18. Look at What Love Made Me Company
Do
18A. Meat - Third Reprise The New One
19. Life Goes On Wise, Sweet, Second & Chorus
19A. Meat - Fourth Reprise The New One
19B. Meat - Fifth Reprise The New Ones
19C. Ominous Humming The New Ones
20. The World Won’t Wait Sweet, Second, Unnamed &
Company
All corresponding musical material is indicated in the

script with (#0X) TITLE OF THE SONG.
9/30/19 - 1 - Act I, Scene 1
YEAST NATION
(the triumph of life)
Act I
Scene 1
(The Primordial Soup. Darkness. A deep tone,

then a cosmic explosion sounds as lights come up
on Jan-the-Unnamed, a blind, staff-wielding
oracle, part vagabond, part witch. Cued by
another tone, she sings.)
(#01) HEAR THE SONG
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
HEAR THE SONG
OF THE BEGINNING OF TIME,
WHEN WATER COVERED THE EARTH.
AND IN THAT BLACK SHINING SEA,
DOWN BY THE ROCKS AND THE SAND,
THE VERY FIRST LIFE FORM APPEARED.
IT WAS THE YEAST.
(Jan-the-Elder, a grim, ancient figure, becomes

visible in another part of the murk.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Oh, yes! The Yeast!
(A Chorus oozes forth from the foggy blackness to

sing with Unnamed. As they sing, Elder twists
and turns, giving “birth”, so to speak, to the
youthful Jan-the-Second-Oldest.)
UNNAMED & CHORUS

SOON THAT YEAST
FOUND HE DID NOT WANT TO DWELL
AS ONLY ONE SIMPLE CELL,
JAN-THE-ELDER
SO I DIVIDED MYSELF!
JAN-THE-SECOND-OLDEST
AND HE CREATED A SON!
ELDER & SECOND

AND THUS A NEW WORLD WAS BEGUN:
© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

9/30/19 - 2 - Act I, Scene 1
ELDER, SECOND, UNNAMED & CHORUS

A WORLD OF YEASTS.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Yeasts!
(The full company enters to sing.)
ALL
WELCOME!
TO THE BEGINNING OF TIME!
YES, THE BEGINNING OF TIME!
TIME FOR THE BEGINNING - -
OF TIME!
(Unnamed and Chorus address the audience.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
It is the year 3,000,458,000 BC!
(Tectonic plates rumble ominously)
The Earth's surface is a molten mass of volcanic islands
and undulating waves!
(More ominous rumbling)
The atmosphere is a choking fog lit by a dim red sun!
(Even more rumbling!)
And the mighty waters of the world are inhabited only by
rocks!
CHORUS-1
Sand!
CHORUS-2
Salt!
CHORUS-3
More rocks!!
CHORUS-4
A little silt, maybe!!
UNNAMED & CHORUS

And the great society of salt-eating yeasts - that were the
world's very first life-form!!!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
I am Jan-the-Unnamed, also known as the Unnamed One, the
Nameless One, you get the idea! The others you shall meet
soon enough! And this - is YEAST NATION!

9/30/19 - 3 - Act I, Scene 1
(The company floats about, feasting on salts.)
ALL
TINY CREATURES,
SEE HOW WE FLOAT IN THE BRINE.
AND IT’S ON SALT THAT WE DINE.
YOU SEE, WHAT ELSE COULD WE EAT
WHEN WATER COVERED THE GLOBE?
THIS FACT YOU DO NOT NEED TO PROBE -
BEHOLD, THE YEASTS!
WELCOME!
SO NOW OUR STORY BEGINS!
AND, YES, YOUR STORY BEGINS!
BECAUSE THIS STORY,
THIS STORY THAT’S STARTING,
IS NOT JUST OUR STORY,
NO, NOT ONLY OUR STORY,
BUT YOURS!
BUT YOURS!
BUT YOURS!
BUT YOURS!
JOIN THE YEASTS

AT THE BEGINNING OF TIME.
SEE HOW LIFE REALLY BEGAN.
UNLIKELY THOUGH IT MAY SEEM,
JUST KNOW IT’S TRUTH THAT WE SHARE.
SO LOOK ON THIS TALE IF YOU DARE,
LOOK ON THE YEASTS!
(Unnamed and the Chorus warily step forward to

consider the audience as everyone else exits.)
CHORUS-1
They seem skeptical, Unnamed One.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
They are the Creatures-Yet-to-Come, children. 'Tis their
nature to question things they don't wish to accept.
CHORUS-2
Like talking, singing, and, at times, dancing yeasts?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Among other things! And though they question, they will
hear the tale! Tonight! Here, in this little theater on–
where are we?

9/30/19 - 4 - Act I, Scene 1
CHORUS-3
[LOCATION/ADDRESS OF PRESENTING THEATER.]
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
[LOCATION OF THEATER]! And so come! Our story begins even
as we speak! For behold! Jan-the-Elder approaches!
(All except Elder sing as Elder leads in Wise,

Second, and Sly. Famished enters elsewhere to
stand near The Chorus. As all enter and take
their respective places, the space transforms
into The Grand Hall of the Yeasts.)
(#02) YOU ARE MY CHILDREN
ALL(Except Elder)
AH!
AH!
AH!
AH - HAH!
JAN-THE-ELDER
I AM THE OLDEST OF THE YEASTS,
FROM WHOM ALL YEASTS WOULD ONE DAY COME.
I STARTED OUT AS JUST A SPARK,
WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS DARK AND DUMB.
JAN-THE-ELDER ALL(But Elder)

THE SEA WAS BLANK.
THE SEA WAS BARE.
BLANK SEA!
THEN LIGHTNING STRUCK,
AND I WAS THERE.
WOW-WEE!
OUT FROM THE VOID,
ONE LIVING THING,
HOW GREAT!
AND FROM THAT BIRTH
YOU ALL DID SPRING.
OUR FATE!
JAN-THE-ELDER
AND BEING FIRST,
I AM YOUR LORD,
I AM YOUR KING!

9/30/19 - 5 - Act I, Scene 1
JAN-THE-ELDER(Cont'd.)
YOU ARE MY CHILDREN!
I AM YOUR FATHER!
I AM YOUR EVER-LIVING KING!
ALL(But Elder)
WE ARE YOUR CHILDREN!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Yes!
ALL(But Elder)
YOU ARE OUR FATHER!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Mmm-hmm!
ALL(But Elder)
ALL PRAISE TO YOU WE GLADLY SING!
JAN-THE-ELDER
I’M MASTER OF
THE MIGHTY SEAS,
AND I’M THE GUY
YOU OUGHT TO PLEASE!
ALL(But Elder)
HAIL, JAN-THE-ELDER!
PRAISE TO JAN-THE-ELDER!
JAN-THE-ELDER
I’M NUMBER ONE,
I FROWN ON FUN,
AND I AM NOT
TO BE OUTDONE!
ALL(But Elder)
YOU ARE OUR FATHER-KING!
YOUR PRAISE WE GLADLY SING!
JAN-THE-ELDER
My rules have been few! Jan-the-Wise!
(Jan-the-Wise, first councilor to the king, reads

from a scroll.)
JAN-THE-WISE
EAT OF THE SALTS WITH MODERATION!

9/30/19 - 6 - Act I, Scene 1
ALL(But Wise & Elder)

EAT OF THE SALTS WITH MODERATION!
JAN-THE-WISE
AVOID ASEXUAL REPRODUCTION, WHICH IS HOW WE MULTIPLY!

AVOID ASEXUAL REPRODUCTION, WHICH IS HOW WE MULTIPLY!
JAN-THE-WISE
AND ABOVE ALL!

AND ABOVE ALL!
JAN-THE-WISE
AS YOU FLOAT ABOUT!

AS WE FLOAT ABOUT!
JAN-THE-WISE
TRY TO STAY REASONABLY CLOSE TO OUR LITTLE CORNER HERE ON
THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA,
NOT FAR FROM THE VENTS FROM WHENCE
OUR SALTS ONCE SPEWED,
AND THOUGH THE VENTS HAVE LONG BEEN DEAD,
WE KNOW THAT THE SEA WILL CARE FOR US,
AS LONG AS WE DON’T RISE!
JAN-THE-ELDER ALL(But Elder)

SO I AM KING!
I AM YOUR LORD!
OUR LORD!
FIRST IN THE SEA,
LOVED AND ADORED!
ADORED!
I'M REALLY GREAT,
WHO WOULD SAY NAY?!
NOT US!
SO TELL ME WHY YOU'D GO ASTRAY?
SO TELL ME WHY YOU’D BREAK MY
RULES AND NOT OBEY!
[Gasp!]
YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!
BETRAYED YOU?!
NOT “YOU”, BUT ONE OF YOU!
WHO?!

9/30/19 - 7 - Act I, Scene 1
JAN-THE-ELDER(Cont’d.) ALL(But Elder)(Cont’d.)

HIS ACT HAS TARNISHED ALL YOUR
NAMES.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, OLD ONE?!
WE HAVE A TRAITOR!
A TRAITOR?!
LIVING AMONGST US!
[All Out Panic!]
NOW MEET THE WRETCH WHO'D PLAY
SUCH GAMES!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Bring out Jan - - THE-WRETCHED!!
(Jan-the-Wretched, a destitute soul, is dragged

on to kneel before Elder. Jan-the-Second-Oldest,
Elder’s noble son, steps forward.)
Father, what's the meaning of this?!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Survival is the meaning of this, Jan-the-Second-Oldest, my
first born - and therefore favorite - child.
(Jan-the-Sly, Second’s sister, steps forward.)
JAN-THE-SLY
Survival, brother, and the choices a king must make to survive.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Quite right, Jan-the-Sly, my second born - and therefore
forgettable - daughter.
JAN-THE-WISE
Jan-the-Wretched! You stand accused of floating about in
sea-levels long since forbidden to the likes of us! How do
you plead?!
JAN-THE-WRETCHED
MY ROYAL LORD,
I AM THE WEAKEST OF OUR KIND.
AND BEING WEAK, I'M IN
AN AWFUL KIND OF BIND.
TO BE COMPLETE,
I NEED TO EAT,
AND LATELY SALTS HAVE BEEN MOST DIFFICULT TO FIND.
SO WHY RESTRICT THE SEARCH, WHY KEEP THE HUNT CONFINED?

9/30/19 - 8 - Act I, Scene 1
JAN-THE-ELDER
"Difficult to find"?! Nonsense! I mean, I'm well fed!
How about you, Jan-the-Wise?
JAN-THE-WISE
Quite comfortable.
JAN-THE-ELDER
You see?! Consume less, that's all, be thrifty! That way
what we have will last longer. Maybe forever.
JAN-THE-WISE
And don't breed anymore.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Obvious! We did a lot of breeding during The Time of the
Do-As-You-Please-Program, of course, but those days are
done! No need for more bellies to fill!
JAN-THE-WISE
And don't rise.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Exactly! Don't rise! Never may ye rise!!
JAN-THE-WRETCHED
For God's sake, WHY NOT?!!
ALL
[Gasp!]
JAN-THE-WISE
SOMEBODY SOUNDS LIKE A TRAITOR!
TELL ME THE NAME OF THE TRAITOR!
ALL(But Wise, Elder, & Wretched)

JAN-THE-WRETCHED!
JAN-THE-WRETCHED!
JAN-THE-WISE
WHO IS A MASTER OF TREASON?
WHO’S TAKEN LEAVE OF HIS REASON?
ALL(But Wise, Elder, & Wretched)

JAN-THE-WRETCHED!
JAN-THE-WRETCHED!

9/30/19 - 9 - Act I, Scene 1
JAN-THE-WISE
HE BROKE YOUR PRECIOUS STRICTURES, SIRE,
AND THAT’S THE REASON WHY
THIS JAN-THE-WRETCHED IS NO GOOD,
AND SURELY HE MUST DIE!
(Jan-the-Sweet, a gentle soul, races on and kneels

in supplication before Elder.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Lord, please, forgive him!
Jan-the-Sweet!
JAN-THE-SWEET
SIRE, MY FATHER IS GOOD!
JAN-THE-WRETCHED IS GOOD!
PLEASE FORGIVE HIM.
SHOW HIM YOU ARE KIND.
HE CAN'T HELP IT IF HE'S LOST HIS MIND.
HE HAS LOST HIS CRAZY MIND!
(All sing on an "Ooo" as Sweet sings.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
SIRE, MY FATHER IS MAD.
HE IS MAD, AND HE'S SAD.
HE IS HUNGRY,
THAT'S THE MAJOR THING.
BUT YOUR ROYAL GOODNESS FEEDS US ALL.
WE'RE SO GLAD YOU ARE OUR KING!
(Elder considers Sweet's plea. Then)
JAN-THE-ELDER ALL(But Elder & Wretched)

OH, WRETCHED JAN,
I CAN BE KIND.
AND FAIR!
YOUR DAUGHTER'S PLEA
HAS MOVED MY MIND.
SEE THERE?!
'FESS UP YOUR CRIMES.
RECANT, AND THEN,
COMPLY!
SWEAR THAT YOU'LL NEVER RISE
AGAIN.
OR DIE!

9/30/19 - 10 - Act I, Scene 1
JAN-THE-ELDER
VOW TO RENOUNCE
YOUR ERRANT WAYS,
THIS EVIL YEN!
JAN-THE-WRETCHED
Never!!
ALL(But Wretched)
[GASP!]
JAN-THE-WRETCHED ALL(But Wretched)

I HAD TO RISE FOR I AM
WEAK AND CAN'T RESIST.
HE CAN'T RESIST!
WITH SALTS SO LOW DOWN HERE
I'M FIGHTING TO EXIST.
HE CAN'T EXIST!
I STILL CONCLUDE
HE STILL CONCLUDES!
WE NEED MORE FOOD,
WE NEED MORE FOODS!
AND THAT'S THE REASON WHY
I FLOATED TOWARD THE TOP!
HE WENT ON TOP!
AND THAT'S THE CRIME THAT
YOU
SO FOOLISHLY WOULD STOP!
ALL
(But Wretched and Elder)
HE JUST WON'T STOP!
JAN-THE-ELDER ALL(But Elder & Wretched)

YOU ARE MY CHILDREN!
YOU WILL OBEY ME!
WE WILL OBEY YOU!
THOSE WHO DO NOT HAD BEST
BEWARE!
AND IF YOU DON’T, THEN,
BABY,
HERE’S HOW HE’LL STOP YOU:
STOP YOU!
HE’LL RIP AND POP YOU!
POP YOU!
SPILL ALL YOUR JELLIES HERE
AND THERE!

9/30/19 - 11 - Act I, Scene 1
JAN-THE-WRETCHED ALL
(But Wretched, Sweet,
Second & Elder)
YOU ARE A TWIT, AND YOU'RE A SPILL HIS JELLIES!
ROYAL TWIT AT THAT! SPILL HIS JELLIES!
YOU'RE SUCH TWIT, IN FACT, SPILL HIS JELLIES!
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S SPILL HIS JELLIES!
AT!
THE YEASTS HAVE BLOOMED! SPILL HIS JELLIES!
AND NOW WE'RE DOOMED! SPILL HIS JELLIES!
SO HERE'S THE THESIS OF OUR SPILL HIS JELLIES!
SOBER LITTLE CHAT: SPILL HIS JELLIES!
DOOM IS THE CHILD OF THE SPILL HIS JELLIES!
CHILDREN YOU BEGAT! SPILL HIS JELLIES!
(All continue chanting "spill his jellies" as Elder,

Wretched, and Sweet sing.)
ELDER WRETCHED SWEET

YOU'RE SUCH A FATHER, HEAR WHAT
DOWNER HE SAYS!
ARE YOU NOT MINE, THAT YOU MAKE ME HEAR AND DO WHAT HE
MY KITH AND KIN? WANT TO CUSS! SAYS!
ARE YOU MY KIDS, YOU MAY BE KING, IF YOU OBEY HIM,
AND IF YOU ARE, BUT YOU'RE A
WHY DRIFT AWAY FROM FRIGGIN' GLOOMY THEN YOU'RE OFF THE
ME SO FAR? GUS! HOOK.
IT’S SUCH A DRAG I HATE YOUR GUTS, THAT'S AN OFFER YOU
TO BE BETRAYED, YOU ROYAL PUTZ! CAN'T OVER LOOK!
TO MAKE A WORLD YOU'RE JUST A BIG YOU CAN'T OVERLOOK!
THAT’S THEN UNMADE. OL'BAG OF
I HAVE NO CHOICE. MORALIZING PUS!
I MUST BE STRONG.
I MUST NOW RIGHT
THIS RUINOUS WRONG!
ALL(But Elder, Wretched & Sweet)

YOU ARE OUR FATHER!
PRAISES TO YOU WE’LL ALWAYS SING!
HONOR THE FATHER!

HAIL JAN-THE-ELDER!
GLORY TO YOU, OUR MIGHTY KING!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Now--!!

9/30/19 - 12 - Act I, Scene 1

KING!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Now--!!

KING!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Now pop him open!!
(As all sing, The Chorus circles Wretched,

preparing to strike.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
NO!
JAN-THE-WISE
YES!
NO!
JAN-THE-WISE
Pop!
JAN-THE-SLY
YES!
SWEET & SECOND

NO!
WISE & SLY

OH, YES!
CHORUS 1 & 3
Pop!
SWEET & SECOND

OH, NO!
CHORUS 4, 5, & 6
Pop!
ELDER, WISE, & SLY

YES!

9/30/19 - 13 - Act I, Scene 1
CHORUS
Pop!
JAN-THE-SWEET
NO!
CHORUS
(To Elder)
Pop?!
JAN-THE-ELDER
YES!
CHORUS
Pop!
NO!
CHORUS
Pop!
PRINCIPALS
YES!
CHORUS
Pop!
PRINCIPALS
NO!
CHORUS
Pop!
PRINCIPALS
YES!
CHORUS
POP!!
(The Chorus rips Wretched open; Wretched’s

materials spill out of his body.)
JAN-THE-WRETCHED
Nooo-aaIIEEE!!

9/30/19 - 14 - Act I, Scene 1
ALL
[Gasp]!
(Wretched collapses. Sweet and Second,

horrified, rush to Wretched's side.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Father!
JAN-THE-WRETCHED
Daughter!
Jan-the-Wretched.
JAN-THE-WRETCHED
Jan-the-Second-Oldest! My materials, what's become of
them?
They're spilling out of your body, Wretched One. They're
floating about in every which way.
JAN-THE-WRETCHED
The salts...we’ll eat them all up one day.
There are an awful lot of salts.
JAN-THE-WRETCHED
And there are an awful lot of us! Look to the light,
Second Jan. Look to the light, swim to the-
(He shudders, a final spasm)
MY JELLY! All of my....jellies...
(Wretched dies. Sweet, anguished, rushes off.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
One day you will come to understand, my son. One day you
will know that what just happened here was exactly the
right thing to do.
(Second rushes after Sweet. Wise and elder step

forward to consider Wretched’s body.)
JAN-THE-WISE
So ends the lives of traitors.

9/30/19 - 15 - Act I, Scene 1
JAN-THE-ELDER
What has long been threatened has now been made reality.
Now, away with us! A remedy must be sought for the tang
such remedies engender!
(All exit except Unnamed and the Chorus; Unnamed

and the Chorus step forward to consider
Wretched’s body.)
CHORUS-1
'Tis a dark tale we tell this day.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Indeed it is. For this is the first tale we tell, the
source of all tales yet to come just as the Yeasts were the
source of all life yet to come.
(All consider this. Then)
CHORUS-2
Can it really be true, mistress, that the yeasts were the
world's very first life form?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Indeed it is.
(Chorus-2 produces a textbook.)
CHORUS-2
Because I came across a textbook from the time of the
Creatures-Yet-to-Come, and it says here that it was
actually a primitive bacteria, or "prokaryote", that first-
(Unnamed grabs the textbook.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
"Textbook"?!
CHORUS
[Gasp!]
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
We have no textbooks here on the bottom of the Sea!
CHORUS-2
No, I know, but-
(Unnamed hurls the textbook offstage.)

9/30/19 - 16 - Act I, Scene 1
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Let us never speak of such things again.
(All but Chorus-2 murmur assent. Then)
CHORUS-3
And - - can it really be true, mistress, that there were no
stories before this one?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
None worth musicalizing.
(All consider this.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED(Cont’d.)
For you see, children, whatever proto-narratives might have
existed prior to this moment, none held the flame so cherished
by the Creatures-Yet-to-Come.
CHORUS-4
"Flame", mistress?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
It goes by another name, of course, but you will recognize
it.
(Tectonic plates rumble ominously, terrifying The

Chorus and cueing Unnamed.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED(Cont’d.)
But come, then! Jan-the-Second-Oldest is on the move,
whilst Jan-the-Sweet grieves in her private nook - !
UNNAMED & CHORUS

Alone!
(Lights shift as Unnamed and Chorus exit, and we

segue into...)

9/30/19 - 17 - Act I, Scene 2
ACT I
Scene 2
(Sweet’s nook. Sweet, alone, grieves.)
(#03) BURNIN' SOUL
JAN-THE-SWEET
OH, FATHER, IS THERE MORE TO LIFE THAN MEETS THE EYE?
ARE WE JUST MATTER AND WE LIVE AND THEN WE DIE?
IS LIFE, AS SOME SAY, LIKE THE DAY WHEN ALL IS BRIGHT,
AND DEATH IS NEVER-ENDING NIGHT?
I SAY THERE'S SOMETHING MORE TO LIFE THAN WE’RE AWARE,

A FORCE INSIDE US WE CAN'T SEE AND YET IT'S THERE.
WE HAVE A SPIRIT THAT COMPLETES AND MAKES US WHOLE,
A THING THAT CANNOT DIE,
A THING I CALL THE SOUL.
BUT FATHER, SINCE YOUR MURDER, I'VE BEGUN TO CHANGE.

I KNOW MY SOUL CAN'T DIE, AND YET IT'S FEELING VERY STRANGE.
(Some chorus members emerge from the shadows to

sing back-up.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
I HAVE A PAIN WITHIN ME
AND IT WILL NOT LET ME BE.
CHORUS
LET HER BE!
JAN-THE-SWEET
I HAVE A BURNING WOUND,
DEEP BELOW WHERE I CAN'T SEE.
CHORUS
SHE CAN’T SEE!
JAN-THE-SWEET
IF I COULD POP IT OUT
AND FLING IT FAR AWAY
I'D FLING IT FAR AWAY,
FAR AWAY.
CHORUS
FAR AWAY!

9/30/19 - 18 - Act I, Scene 2
JAN-THE-SWEET
I HAVE A PAIN THAT SEARS ME,
SORT OF LIKE A BURNING COAL.
CHORUS
BURNING COAL!
JAN-THE-SWEET
IT LEAVES MY BODY BE
BUT WOUNDS MY VERY SOUL.
CHORUS
VERY SOUL!
JAN-THE-SWEET
IF I DESTROY MY BODY,
CAN THAT CURE THE SOUL?
I WANT TO CURE THE SOUL,
CURE THE SOUL.
CHORUS
CURE THE SOUL, CURE THE SOUL!
JAN-THE-SWEET
I'M ON FIRE,
AND MY SOUL IS WHAT'S AFLAME!
CHORUS
FLAME! FLAME! FLAME!
JAN-THE-SWEET
LIKE A PYRE,
IT’S ABLAZE WITH GRIEF AND SHAME.
CHORUS
SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!
(The Chorus sings “Ooo” under the following

verse.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
I CAN’T COPE,
AND I JUST MIGHT LOSE CONTROL
OF MY BURNIN’ SOUL.
(Second enters.)

9/30/19 - 19 - Act I, Scene 2
Jan-the-Sweet?
(Sweet turns, taken by surprise.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Jan-the-Second-Oldest!
(Sweet kneels. The Chorus fades back into the

shadows as the following scene unfolds.)
JAN-THE-SWEET(Cont’d.)
Have you come, then, to murder me as your father murdered
my father?
I come only to offer you my condolences, Sweet One, and
this unusually large salt crystal, also known as a “fatty,”
as a token of my grief.
(Second produces an unusually large salt crystal,

also known as a "fatty," and hands it to Sweet.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
A fatty?
From my private stash. I know it cannot replace your
father in any meaningful way. But perhaps it might offer
you some small physical comforts in the days to come.
JAN-THE-SWEET
Thinkest thou generous, Second Jan, taking my father and
giving me this?
No, Sweet One, I only-
JAN-THE-SWEET
Thinkest thou kind?! My father was kind, but he was
starving! As am I! As are all our kind!
(Sweet hurls the fatty at Second, then sings as

The Chorus reemerges to sing with Sweet.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
YOU ARE THE PAIN WITHIN ME,
YOU AND JAN-THE-ELDER, TOO!

9/30/19 - 20 - Act I, Scene 2
CHORUS
RIGHT!
JAN-THE-SWEET
YOU'VE GOT YOUR SEAT OF POWER,
WHILE WE MUST STAND FOR YOU!
CHORUS
NO!
JAN-THE-SWEET
YOUR SOUL-LESS CALCULATIONS
MAKE ME HATE ON YOU!
CAN’T HELP BUT HATE ON YOU,
CHORUS
HATE ON YOU!
JAN-THE-SWEET
HATE ON YOU!
CHORUS
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE - ON YOU!
JAN-THE-SWEET JAN-THE-SECOND-OLDEST
I’M ON FIRE,
YOU’RE ON FIRE!
AND MY SOUL IS WHAT'S ALIGHT!
CHORUS
LIGHT! LIGHT! LIGHT! IT'S ALIGHT AND BURNING BRIGHT!
JAN-THE-SWEET
IT'S QUITE DIRE,
IT’S QUITE DIRE!
AND IT’S GIVEN ME A FRIGHT.
CHORUS
FRIGHT! FRIGHT! FRIGHT! HATIN’ ME WON’T SET YOU RIGHT!
YOU’RE IN PAIN,
OOOOO.... AND IT’S TAKEN QUITE A TOLL
ON YOUR BURNIN’ SOUL!
IF WE’VE GOT A SOUL LIKE YOU'RE SAYIN'
KNOWING HOW THEY WORK IS A MUST.

9/30/19 - 21 - Act I, Scene 2
CHORUS
WORK!
(The Chorus sings “Oooo” under the following.)
GOOD DEEDS MAKE ‘EM LIGHT UP LIKE EMBERS,
HATIN’ TURNS OUR SOULS INTO DUST.
HATIN’ ME IS NOT THE SOLUTION,
JAN-THE-SWEET
HATIN’ MIGHT BE WHAT MY SOUL NEEDS.
CHORUS
NEEDS!
(The Chorus sings “Oooo” under the following.)
JAN-THE-SECOND
KINDNESS IS THE FOOD OF THE SPIRIT,
JAN-THE-SWEET
YOU TALK KINDNESS, WHAT ABOUT DEEDS?!
I’M ON FIRE,
YOU’RE ON FIRE,
AND MY SOUL IS WHAT'S AFLAME!
IT'S ALFAME, AND THAT AIN’T NO
GAME!
LIKE A PYRE,
LIKE A PYRE!
IT’S ABLAZE WITH GRIEF AND
SHAME.
HERE’S THE THING: I FEEL THE
SAME.
I CAN’T COPE.
YOU CAN’T COPE.
SWEET & SECOND

AND I/YOU JUST MIGHT LOSE CONTROL
OF MY/YOUR BURNIN’ SOUL!
CHORUS
BURNIN’ SOUL, BURNIN’ SOUL!
(Wise emerges from the shadows, unseen.)

9/30/19 - 22 - Act I, Scene 2
JAN-THE-WISE
I trust I’m not interrupting anything of a - - treasonous
nature.
(Sweet and Second turn, taken by surprise.)
SWEET & SECOND

Whaa- ?!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Jan-the-Wise!
(Sweet kneels. The Chorus fades back into the

shadows and exits the scene.)
Have you come, then, to murder her as my father murdered her
father.
JAN-THE-WISE
I come to offer her this unusually large salt crystal – also
known as a fatty - as a token of her king’s current good
will.
(Wise produces a fatty, then hands it to Sweet.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Two fatties in one day.
JAN-THE-WISE
I also come with an invitation. Jan-the-Elder has pledged
to mount a "Grand Jamboree of Sameness" to quiet waters
that may have grown choppy of late. 'Twould be an honor if
you would accompany me.
‘Twould be difficult for her to attend any function that drew
too much attention to the fact that her father no long floats
amongst us.
JAN-THE-WISE
'Tis not a question for you, but for the Sweet One. Such
jamborees are but infrequent.
I should hope they would be, if popping people open is
their inspiration.

9/30/19 - 23 - Act I, Scene 2
JAN-THE-WISE
Tread cautiously, Second Jan. You are the King’s favorite,
but The Strictures are The Strictures.
You needn’t have popped him open!
JAN-THE-WISE
And you need to start supporting your father and me in
everything we say and do!
I'm against what you're doing! I'm against The Strictures!
JAN-THE-WISE
'Tis a message I will convey to the king. And as for you,
Sweet Jan, I will await your RSVP for as long as is
practicable. Good day.
(Wise exits. Second turns to Sweet.)
I trust you can tell the difference between those two fatties.
JAN-THE-SWEET
They are as yet indistinguishable to me.
That one’s mine and that one’s his.
JAN-THE-SWEET
You and he are indistinguishable to me! Okay?! For while
your bellies may be full, your souls are as shrivelled as
the tiniest grain of silt! And so I go, to feed my soul by
feeding these gifts to the neediest amongst us!
(Sweet moves to exit.)
Wait a minute. You’re going to give my gift away?
JAN-THE-SWEET
‘Tis the one deed still within my power to do. What deeds
might you have done, Second Jan, if only you had had the
courage to do them?

9/30/19 - 24 - Act I, Scene 2
(Sweet exits, fatties in hand. Vamp for "I'll

Change the World" begins. Second sings.)
(#04) I'LL CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND HER
THIS SWEET THING SEES IN ME THE WORST, AND SHE IS
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
THIS SWEET THING THINKS THAT I’M A COWARD WHEN THE TIME HAS
COME TO FIGHT.
THIS SWEET THING SEES A DISMAL FUTURE, BUT HERE’S
ONE THING THAT I KNOW:
I SEE HER TOO,

I SEE SHE’S BLUE,
BUT IT’S THE WORLD THAT’S MADE HER SO.
THAT CRUEL WORLD
THAT MADE HER SO,
THAT CRUEL WORLD MUST GO!
I’LL CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND HER,

AND SHE’LL LIKE WHAT SHE’LL SEE.
SHE WON’T STAY LIKE I FOUND HER
WHEN SHE SEES WHAT CAN BE.
THERE’S A REVOLUTION WAITING.

IT’LL SPIN SO FAST IT’S A BLUR,
AS I CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND HER!
(We travel with Second back to The Grand Hall.)
MY FATHER LIVES DOWN IN THE DEEP DARK CHAMBERS OF THE
SPOOKY PAST.
HER FATHER LIVED WITH THE DREAD KNOWLEDGE THAT OUR SOURCE
OF FOOD CAN’T LAST.
MY FATHER KILLED HER FATHER ‘CAUSE HE BROKE THE STRICTURES
WHEN HE ROSE.
THOSE STRICTURES STINK - -

THAT’S WHAT I THINK.
THEY STINK SO BAD IT REALLY BLOWS.
FOR WRETCHED’S CAUSE,
I’LL BREAK THE LAWS
AND SMASH THE STATUS QUOS!

9/30/19 - 25 - Act I, Scene 2
JAN-THE-SECOND-OLDEST(Cont’d.)
I’LL CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND HER,
AND SAVE HER FROM HER FEARS.
WITH CALM AND PEACE I’LL GROUND HER,
AGAINST A SEA OF TEARS.
FOR THE OLD GUARD IS A-TUMBLIN’.

THERE’S A NEW GUARD CAUSIN’ A STIR,
WHILE I CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND HER!
I’LL FIGHT FOR JUSTICE!

I’LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM!
I’LL FIGHT FOR FREEDOM FROM HUNGER AND WANT!
HERE’S MY IDEA:
I’LL MAKE THE SEA A
LAVISH FEAST
FOR EVERY YEAST,
A RICH AND EVER-FLOWING FONT!
I FEEL A NEW WAVE RISING.

I’LL FIND NEW FOOD ON HIGH.
NO MORAL COMPROMISING,
AND NO MORE YEASTS’LL DIE.
IT’S A BUZZ TO HAVE A MISSION,

AND TO FEEL SO STEADY AND SURE!
YEAH, I’LL CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND HER!
YEAH, I’LL CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND HER!
(Blackout.)

9/30/19 - 26 - Act I, Scene 3
ACT I
Scene 3
(Outside the Royal Chambers. Unnamed and The

Chorus consider the previous scene.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Did you not feel it, children? The "flame” that burns
within him, the one cherished by the Creatures-Yet-to-Come?
CHORUS-1
‘Twas mighty, this heat.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
'Twill grow mightier, still! For 'twas the heat - of Love!
CHORUS
Ooooo.
CHORUS-3
Love?
CHORUS-4
Here?
CHORUS-5
In the primordial soup?
CHORUS-6
Love in the primordial soup will be hard to accept, Mistress.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Oh, there are more things here than just love that will be
hard to accept.
CHORUS-2
Take the whole salt thing, for example.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
What's that?!
CHORUS-2
Well, it's acceptable to assume early life metabolized
hydrogen-rich compounds, for example, or carbon-based
materials, but salt?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Silence!

9/30/19 - 27 - Act I, Scene 3
ALL(Except Chorus-2)
[Gasp!]
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
That's not what I was talking about.
CHORUS-2
Sorry.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Desperate circumstances! Impossible choices! That's what
I was talking about! And suffice it say that life, from
here on out, much like our tale, will be one unacceptable
thing after another.
(Wise steps out from the shadows.)
JAN-THE-WISE
"Unacceptable,” Anonymous One?
(Startled, Unnamed and Chorus turn.)
UNNAMED & CHORUS

[Gasp?!]
CHORUS-1
Jan-the-Wise!
(Unnamed and The Chorus kneel.)
JAN-THE-WISE
'Tis a dark prediction.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
'Tis a dark tale.
JAN-THE-WISE
I - - see. And what of this "love" of which you speak?
'Tis a new word.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
'Tis a new thing, Wise One, a burning thing.
JAN-THE-WISE
A new kind of...magma, perhaps?

9/30/19 - 28 - Act I, Scene 3
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
You yourself have felt its sting.
JAN-THE-WISE
Me?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Did not Jan-the-Sweet refuse your invitations?
JAN-THE-WISE
She was silent on the matter.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
And did not that silence burn?
JAN-THE-WISE
This seems to be a conceptual kind of magma.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Most conceptual.
(Sly steps out from the shadows.)
JAN-THE-SLY
We must avoid it, then.
WISE, UNNAMED, & CHORUS

[Gasp]?!
CHORUS-1
Jan-the-Sly!
(Sly kneels.)
JAN-THE-SLY
Long live The Strictures.
JAN-THE-WISE
Long may they live.
JAN-THE-SLY
‘Tis what I wish for, anyhow. Pity such sentiments aren’t
universal.
JAN-THE-WISE
(To Unnamed and the chorus)
You all have nooks to tend to, no doubt. Tend to them, then,
that I might tend to my nook - my conceptual nook.

9/30/19 - 29 - Act I, Scene 3
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
As you wish, Wise One.
(Unnamed exits with Chorus.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Jan-the...”Sly”, is it?
JAN-THE-SLY
It is, little sister to Jan-the-Second-Oldest.
JAN-THE-WISE
Well, there’s only one sentiment that matters, little
sister, and that’s the sentiment of your father. Now, if
you'll excuse me.
JAN-THE-SLY
As long as he lives, that is.
JAN-THE-WISE
Pardon?
JAN-THE-SLY
My father is the oldest amongst us, but being old his
membrane has grown thin of late. If it should pop open of
its own accord my elder brother would ascend, perhaps in
more ways than one.
JAN-THE-WISE
I am familiar with your brother’s prospects, Sly One, anti-
strictural though he may be.
JAN-THE-SLY
Of course, you’ll find no yeast more loyal to your cause
than I. Pity I am but second in line to the throne and
relatively powerless to help.
JAN-THE-WISE
Pity you are so little.
JAN-THE-SLY
Powerless, of course, unless some bad thing were to happen
to my brother.
JAN-THE-WISE
"Bad"? What kind of bad?

9/30/19 - 30 - Act I, Scene 3
JAN-THE-SLY
I couldn’t begin to speculate.
JAN-THE-WISE
Your suggestion has the tang of treason about it.
JAN-THE-SLY
What I call treason is the subversion of your precious
Strictures. Jan-the-Wretched subverted them physically.
What might we call the verbal subversion my brother
indulged himself in this day?
JAN-THE-WISE
And that is something about which I couldn’t begin to
speculate.
(Begin vamp for “Little Sister”.)
(#05) LITTLE SISTER
JAN-THE-WISE(Cont’d.)
Now, little sister, you’ll have to excuse me, I go to speak
with your father at this very moment.
(Wise exits. Sly sings.)
JAN-THE-SLY
HEY, HEY, LITTLE SISTER, DON’T YOU WORRY.
THAT’S RIGHT, LITTLE SISTER, KEEP YOUR COOL.
THAT GUY BRUSHES PAST YOU, IN A HURRY.
HE THINKS YOU’RE A LOSER, OR A FOOL.
HANG TIGHT, LITTLE SISTER, CALM AND STEADY.

THIS HUMILIATION WON’T LAST LONG.
YOUR TIME IS APPROACHIN’, SO GET READY.
YOU’LL PROVE LITTLE SISTER’S TOUGH AND STRONG!
NO ONE COUNTS ON LITTLE SISTER.

NO, THEY ALL LAUGH AT LITTLE SISTER.
WELL, LITTLE SISTER’S SICK OF HEARING “NO.”
THEY CAN SLIGHT ME IF THEY LIKE,

‘CAUSE THEY THINK I’M JUST A TYKE,
TILL THE DAY I STRIKE THEM ALL DOWN LOW.
I’M THE SISTER WHO WILL CHANGE THE STATUS QUO.
(Jan-the-Famished enters, hugely, obviously

pregnant, and in somewhat of a panic.)

9/30/19 - 31 - Act I, Scene 3
JAN-THE-SLY
Ah, Jan-the-Famished, good day to you.
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
And to you.
(Famished starts to exit.)
JAN-THE-SLY
And, if I may be so bold - congratulations.
(Famished freezes, terrified.)
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Pardon?
JAN-THE-SLY
I meant to say something during Wretched's execution. But
then, 'twasn't the most opportune moment to call attention
to your - - “situation.”
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Oh, dear.
(Sly sings.)
JAN-THE-SLY
MY, MY, LITTLE SISTER, HOW YOU’RE GROWIN’!
IT’S CLEAR THAT YOU ATE A SALTY FEAST!
TRY, TRY AS YOU MAY TO HIDE WHAT’S SHOWIN’,
YOU’RE GOIN’ TO MAKE A BRAND NEW YEAST!
JUST THINK HOW THE KING WILL TAKE THIS TREASON.

HE WON’T LIKE A BIT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
HE’S PRONE TO FLIP OUT, AND LOSE HIS REASON
WHEN HE SEES THAT YOU MADE TWO FROM ONE.
YOU CAN TRUST ME, LITTLE SISTER!

YEAH, POUR YOUR HEART OUT, LITTLE SISTER,
‘CAUSE LITTLE SISTERS KEEP THEIR SECRETS WELL.
SPILL YOUR GUTS OR ELSE, I FEAR,

SOMEONE ELSE WILL DO IT, HEAR?
SOMEONE ELSE WILL BURST YOUR PRETTY CELL.
DON’T YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE SISTERS NEVER TELL?

9/30/19 - 32 - Act I, Scene 3
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
YEAH, YEAH, I BROKE THE LAW!
I DID IT WHEN NOBODY SAW!
CLEANING NOOKS, THAT IS MY FUNCTION.
BUT WHEN I WORK, HERE'S MY COMPUNCTION:
IF I'M IN A WEALTHY HOME,

NESTLED 'NEATH THE BRINY FOAM,
AND STUMBLE ON A CRUMB OR TWO,
I EAT IT UP!
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
JAN-THE-SLY
You "clean" nooks?
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
I do.
JAN-THE-SLY
(She thinks)
A specialized yeast?
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
It's - - what I tell people.
JAN-THE-SLY
And thus, you have access to all the nooks in the realm.
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
People seem to trust me.
JAN-THE-SLY
‘Tis an enviable quality.
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Indeed. And now, if you’ll excuse me-
(Famished moves to exit again; Sly stops her.)
JAN-THE-SLY
I WON’T LET ‘IM POP YOU, LITTLE TRAITOR!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
“Pop” me?!
JAN-THE-SLY
I WON’T LET ‘IM RIP YOUR CELL WALLS WIDE.

9/30/19 - 33 - Act I, Scene 3
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Oh no.
JAN-THE-SLY
IF YOU WILL OBEY MY ORDERS LATER
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Yeah?
JAN-THE-SLY
I PROMISE I’LL STOP THIS YEASTICIDE.
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
HELP ME, HELP ME, LITTLE SISTER!
JAN-THE-SLY
HELL, YES, I’LL HELP YOU, LITTLE SISTER!
AT LEAST FOR NOW, YOU’VE GOT MY GUARANTEE!
YOU’VE GOT TROUBLE, SO HAVE I!
YOU AND I HAD BEST ALLY!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
YOU ARE ROYAL, I AM NOT,
AND I’M IN A LITTLE SPOT.
JAN-THE-SLY
I’LL MAKE SURE YOU’RE GETTING OFF SCOT FREE.
SISTER?!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
SISTER!
SLY & FAMISHED

LITTLE SISTER, THAT’S THE WAY IT’S GOT TO BE!
JAN-THE-SLY
WAH DOO SKIT SKAT OO BEE!
SLY & FAMISHED

SISTER!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
SCHWEE BIP SHOO BEE DOO BEE!
JAN-THE-SLY
BAH DAP, BAH WOO, SKAH SKOO-DLE-Y-OOO,
BOP DEE DAH, BOP DEE DAH, BOP WOO WOO WOO BEE!

9/30/19 - 34 - Act I, Scene 3
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
DIE-YAH-DA-DOO DEE, DIE-YAH-DA-DOO DAY,
PAH SKAH TEN SKAD-AH, SKAH TEN SKAD-AH, TREE-TREE TROO-BEE!
JAN-THE-SLY
WAH-DAH-WEE-DEE!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
WAH-DAH-WEE-DEE!
JAN-THE-SLY
SCOOT-EN SKEE-DEE!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
SCOOT-EN SKEE-DEE!
JAN-THE-SLY
REET-EN REE-DEE!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
REET-EN REE-DEE!
JAN-THE-SLY
BIP-PEN BEE-DEE!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
BIP-PEN BEE-DEE!
SLY & FAMISHED

THAT’S THE WAY IT’S GOT TO BE,
SISTER!
(Blackout.)

9/30/19 - 35 - Act I, Scene 4
ACT I
Scene 4
(The royal chambers. Elder paces - frail,

agitated - as Wise tries to brief him.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
The Sweet One was forthcoming?
JAN-THE-WISE
She was strangely silent on the matter of our invitation,
Old One, and had about her a sadness - - perhaps something
to do with her father.
JAN-THE-ELDER
"SAD"?! IN MY REALM?! Oh, I'll give her something to be
sad about, if sadness is what she desires! I want her at
the Jamboree, to show all that The Strictures are yet
embraced with greater enthusiasm now than ever before! If
not, well, all know the penalty for treason.
JAN-THE-WISE
Give me time, Old One. She is yet in her grievings.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Once my rules were adhered to without question. Now we
must butcher our own kind to maintain my beloved stasis. I
only want things to stay more or less the same for all
eternity! Is that too much to ask?!
JAN-THE-WISE
For some, it would seem.
JAN-THE-ELDER
And for those who would defy me the same fate awaits - THE
POPPING OPEN OF IT!!
(Elder stumbles feebly from the force of his

exclamation - he’s much sicker and weaker than
he’s let anyone know. Wise catches him and helps
him down to a more comfortable position.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
If only I had put the breaks on our excesses a thousand
years ago things would be better now. If only I had known
that the eons of unbridled feasting and propagation would
lead to a world of too many beings and too little food!

9/30/19 - 36 - Act I, Scene 4
JAN-THE-WISE
You mustn’t blame yourself, Old One.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Mustn't I? Once I floated alone in the primordial soup, a
single, solitary, microscopic creature with nothing to do
but eat and be.
(Begin vamp for “Alone”)
(#06) ALONE
JAN-THE-ELDER(Cont'd.)
But a creature grows lonely all alone in the murk, horribly
lonely - - and afraid.
(He sings.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
I STOOD UPON A PATH, UNCHARTED.
I STARED INTO A MURKY SEA.
I STARTED FEELING LONELY-HEARTED.
I WONDERED WHAT MY LIFE WOULD BE.
OH, YEAH!
I NEEDED TO BE NOT SO FRIGHTENED.
I FOUND THAT I HAD TOO MUCH ROOM.
AND I NEEDED MY EXISTENCE BRIGHTENED.
BUT HOW COULD I DISPEL MY GLOOM?
AND I SAID,
I WILL NOT SPEND MY DAYS ALONE!
JAN-THE-WISE
YOU WOULD NOT SPEND YOUR DAYS ALONE!
JAN-THE-ELDER
I WILL BRING LIFE INTO THIS WORLD!
JAN-THE-WISE
YOU WOULD BRING LIFE INTO THIS WORLD!
JAN-THE-ELDER
I MADE LIFE TO ERASE THE NIGHT,
AND I STRUCK A SPARK TO DISPLACE THE NIGHT!
I COULD NOT FACE THE NIGHT
ALONE!

9/30/19 - 37 - Act I, Scene 4
JAN-THE-ELDER
You have served me well over the years, old friend, doing
the dirty work few would consider doing, and for that you
have my thanks.
JAN-THE-WISE
I live only to serve you.
JAN-THE-ELDER
I live to be served.
JAN-THE-WISE
So allow me to serve you yet again. Allow me to raise the
issue of Jan-the-Second-Oldest, your first born and
therefore favorite son.
JAN-THE-ELDER
My - - son?
JAN-THE-WISE
I’M HONORED TO BE IN YOUR SERVICE,
TO SEE THAT EVERY YEAST BEHAVES.
BUT, SIRE, THE PRINCE HAS MADE ME NERVOUS.
THAT SON OF YOURS IS MAKING WAVES.
(Split scene: As Wise pleads with Elder, Second

appears, now swimming toward the surface.)
WISE & SECOND

OH, YEAH!
JAN-THE-WISE
TO HIM, OUR VERY LAWS OUR EVIL!
I’VE SETTLED ON A PLAN TO SWIM.
JAN-THE-WISE
HIS INSOLENCE INVITES UPHEAVAL!
I’LL MAKE IT TO THE OCEAN’S BRIM.
WISE & SECOND

AND I SAY:

9/30/19 - 38 - Act I, Scene 4
JAN-THE-SECOND
AT FIRST I'LL GO THERE ALL ALONE!
JAN-THE-WISE
(To Elder)
WHY HAS HE LEFT YOU ALL ALONE?!
BUT ONCE I HAVE SWEET BY MY SIDE - !
JAN-THE-WISE
(To Elder)
WHY IS HE NOT HERE BY YOUR SIDE?!
SHE WILL SEE HOW THE WORLD IS NEW!
THEN WE'LL STRIP THIS BLIGHT FROM OUR ANCIENT BREW,
WISE & SECOND

BUT NOW, YOU/I MUST REMAIN - ALONE!
JAN-THE-ELDER
You would do well to make your peace with my son, Wise One,
lest I make my peace with you in my own fashion!
JAN-THE-WISE
You favor him too much, Old One!
JAN-THE-ELDER
I favor him as if he were half myself, for indeed he is
half myself! How could I betray me?! How?!
(The scene splits again, now also revealing Sweet

distributing her fatties to the poor.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
THE EDGE OF NIGHT IS DRAWING CLOSER.
WE FACE A DEATHLY RENDEZVOUS.
I’LL FIGHT THE URGE TO FEEL MOROSER.
THERE’S SO MUCH THAT I WANT TO DO.
AND, YEAH!
I USED TO HOPE FOR SOMETHING OUT THERE!
SOME GLIMMER OF A REASON WHY!

9/30/19 - 39 - Act I, Scene 4
JAN-THE-ELDER
IS THERE A HELL OR HEAVEN OUT THERE?
JAN-THE-WISE
I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT WHEN WE DIE!
SWEET & SECOND

BECAUSE WE DIE!
WISE & ELDER

ALL CREATURES DIE!
WISE, ELDER, SECOND & SWEET

AND SINCE WE DIE
WE MUST RIDE OUT THE STORM ALONE!
WE MUST RIDE OUT THE STORM ALONE!

AND FIND THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON!
SWEET & SECOND

AND FIND THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON!

HOW WE FEAR ALL THE DAYS TO COME,
AND WE’RE DRAWING NEAR TO THAT FINAL CRUMB!
CAN WE YET STEER OURSELVES FROM DOOM UNKNOWN?
AND MUST WE LIVE THIS LIFE —
ELDER
ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE?
SWEET & SECOND

ALONE, ALONE, ALONE —
SWEET
— ALONE,
SECOND
— ALONE,
SWEET
— ALONE,
SECOND
— ALONE,

9/30/19 - 40 - Act I, Scene 4
SWEET
— ALONE?
WISE
ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE?
(Lights cross to Sly, Famished, Unnamed, and the

Chorus. They consider what they've just seen.)
JAN-THE-SLY
My brother risks much for his "loved" one.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
As does your father.
JAN-THE-SLY
This "Love" is a powerful force, it would seem.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
More powerful than any yet realize.
JAN-THE-SLY
Then it shall have its uses.
(To Famished)
Go to Sweet's Nook. Keep watch on the goings-on there,
then report to me when you have something to report.
Otherwise, I don't know, I'll pop you open or something.
(Famished bows, then races off.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Love does have its uses, Sly One. But beware, only those
immune to its influence may exploit it.
JAN-THE-SLY
I am immune.
CHORUS-1
Are you?
CHORUS-3
Love can extend to the self as well as others.
JAN-THE-SLY
"Self"-love?

9/30/19 - 41 - Act I, Scene 4
CHORUS-4
Indeed.
CHORUS-5
For while some are always villains to all-
CHORUS-6
And others are always villains to some-
CHORUS-1
All are always heroes to themselves.
CHORUS-2
Karl Jung, for example, argued that-
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Silence!
CHORUS(Except Chorus-2)
[Gasp!]
JAN-THE-SLY
What if you're an anti-hero to yourself?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Then you would anti-love yourself.
(Tectonic plates rumble ominously, spooking The

Chorus and cueing Unnamed.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
But come, then! Jan-the-Second-Oldest is on the move
again, whilst Jan-the-Sweet awaits the arrival -
UNNAMED & CHORUS

Of oblivion!
(All exit. Segue into...)

9/30/19 - 42 - Act I, Scene 5
ACT I
Scene 5
(Sweet’s nook. Sweet lies on the ground, barely

conscious, dying. Second enters.)
Sweet One?
JAN-THE-SWEET
I gave your gift away, Second Jan, that I might feed the
world. ‘Twasn’t enough. And so my soul-belly starves - as
does my belly-belly.
Then let both be fed. For behold, I return to you not only
with myself, but with the very physical expression of our
salvation itself!
(Second, with feverish excitement, holds up a

large fistful of muck for her to see.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Dear God! What is it?!
'Tis a muck of some kind! A thing like the jellies that
make up our own bodies, but different somehow.
JAN-THE-SWEET
'Tis a thing beyond my very reference level.
'Tis the thing your father gave his life trying to find.
He sought new salt fields, as did I, but 'twas muck that
was waiting to be found.
JAN-THE-SWEET
You - - rose?
Indeed I did. And I beg of thee, if my previous gift was
an insult, receive this muck as an apology – and a cause
for joy. For 'tis that long sought after something that
will make life fabulous from here on out.
(He offers her the muck; she takes it.)

9/30/19 - 43 - Act I, Scene 5
JAN-THE-SWEET
How beautiful it is.
Indeed. But that’s how things are up above. Beautiful - -
and new.
(Begin vamp for “Rising Song”.)
(#07) LET US RISE
If only I had the language to describe the things I saw up
there. I saw...I saw...
(He sings.)
I SAW WIND, I SAW CLOUDS.
I SAW MIST IN THE AIR.
I SAW STARS IN THE SKY.
THERE WAS LIGHT EVERYWHERE.
I FELT WIND, I FELT HEAT.

I HEARD SOUNDS THAT WERE NEW.
WAVES CRASHED DOWN EVERYWHERE,
IN A WORLD NOW TURNED BLUE.
WHEN YOU RISE TOWARD THE SUN,

WHEN YOU RISE TOWARD YOUR DREAMS,
YOU’LL SEE LIFE RENEWED!
THERE’S A LIGHT UP ABOVE,
BURNING BRIGHT UP ABOVE,
WHEN YOU RISE, RISE, RISE!
JAN-THE-SWEET
A light burning bright?
That’s the sun. It heats everything it touches, including
the vast pads of muck that float upon the ocean's surface.
JAN-THE-SWEET
I see. And...how is this stuff supposed to save us,
exactly?
Taste of it and you shall know!

9/30/19 - 44 - Act I, Scene 5
JAN-THE-SWEET
Taste of it?
(Second pursues Sweet with the muck.)
That’s right! Do so, you’ll be happy you did!
JAN-THE-SWEET
No, I don't think so.
You're frightened. Don't be.
JAN-THE-SWEET
I have but a primitive digestive system!
Not as primitive as you think!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Please, Second One, I don't want to- !
You will taste of it!
(Second catches her and forces her to eat.)
The tiniest of portions! Taste - - and live!!
(She breaks away, disgusted, but then a jolt of

energy shudders through her body, transforming
her. She sings.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
HOW PECULIAR I FEEL
TO THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL,
A NEW TINGLING TANG
I CAN BARELY CONTROL.
SUCH A TINGLING TASTE!
TASTE THE MUCK, EAT THE MUCK!

9/30/19 - 45 - Act I, Scene 5
JAN-THE-SWEET
HOW IT BURNS UP MY CORE.
FEEL IT FIRE YOUR CORE!
JAN-THE-SWEET
BUT MY LIFE FEELS REBORN!
FOR THE FOOD’S FULL OF LIFE!
JAN-THE-SWEET
NOW I KNOW WHAT IT’S FOR!
YES, WE KNOW WHAT IT’S FOR!
SWEET & SECOND

WILL YOU RISE TOWARD THE SUN?
WILL YOU RISE TOWARD YOUR DREAMS?
TOWARD A LIFE RENEWED!
LET US RISE, RISE, RISE!
(Dance sequence: They rise through the murk

toward the ocean’s surface, then arrive.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Dear God, it’s beautiful.
Like nothing we’ve ever known. I’ll collect more muck and
ferry it down to you. Receive the muck and hide it down
there in your private nook.
JAN-THE-SWEET
No nook is more private.
When the time comes we’ll reveal it. And if anyone should
ask for me, tell them I am about in some such place, the
fatty cellars perhaps, anywhere but the Upper Reaches.
Promise me.
JAN-THE-SWEET
I do so promise. I’m burning a little bit.

9/30/19 - 46 - Act I, Scene 5
As am I.
JAN-THE-SWEET
No, I mean my membrane.
No yeast can remain here long. Let me escort you back.
JAN-THE-SWEET
A moment longer, I pray you.
SWEET & SECOND

WHEN WE RISE TOWARD THE SUN,
WHEN WE RISE TOWARD OUR DREAMS,
TOWARD A LIFE RENEWED,
WHEN WE RISE!
RISE!
RISE!
(They kiss as lights fade.)

9/30/19 - 47 - Act I, Scene 6
ACT I
Scene 6
(Outside the Grand Hall of the Yeasts. Wise

enters on his way to the King. Sly and Famished
race out from the shadows to intercept him.)
JAN-THE-SLY
Happy sameness to you, Wise One! And how go preparations
for the Jamboree?
JAN-THE-WISE
As well as can be expected. I trust you’ll have offerings
to contribute to the festivities.
JAN-THE-SLY
Indeed we will. In fact, we have offerings on us even as
we speak, offerings that might interest you in the highest.
JAN-THE-WISE
(Moving to exit)
Save them for the Jamboree. As for me, I must now confer
with your father.
JAN-THE-SLY
(Producing a fistful of muck)
Not without a sample of our offerings, I believe!
JAN-THE-WISE
Dear God, what’s the meaning of this?!!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
‘Tis muck, Wise One. A substance heretofore unknown to the
likes of us.
JAN-THE-WISE
'Tis beyond my very reference level!
JAN-THE-SLY
'Tis an offense aimed at the very foundation of all we hold
dear! Thanks be to Jan-the-Famished for finding it in the
nook of Jan-the-Sweet!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
On a routine cleaning service. I clean nooks.
JAN-THE-WISE
Jan-the-Sweet?!

9/30/19 - 48 - Act I, Scene 6
JAN-THE-SLY
Given her by none other than Jan-the-Second-Oldest. He
traded this muck to her for her favor, then boasted how he
claimed it from the very limits of the Upper Reaches.
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
He floats up there even as we speak!
JAN-THE-SLY
My brother would have us believe he sits brooding in the
Fatty Cellars, or some such, whilst in truth he broods -
and feasts! - in the very opposite of a cellar!
JAN-THE-WISE
The King has doubted his son’s treason for too long, but
can he doubt what he can see and feel?!
(Begin vamp for “Stasis Is the Membrane.” Sly &

Famished kneel.)
(#08) STASIS IS THE MEMBRANE
JAN-THE-SLY
Not if you show him it. So you see, Wise One, we are loyal
to you. We are loyal to The Strictures!
JAN-THE-WISE
So it would seem.
JAN-THE-SLY
Deliver us from treason, Wise One, and lead us into stasis.
Destroy my brother if need be, and, whatever, ensconce me
on the Seat of Power, but lead us back to stasis! For
without stasis it is surely we who shall all be destroyed!
(She sings.)
JAN-THE-SLY
STASIS IS THE MEMBRANE
THAT KEEPS THE YEASTS TOGETHER,
THROUGH ALL KINDS OF WEATHER,
IN STORM AS WELL AS CALM.
WITH HARMONY OUR BEDROCK,
AND BROTHERHOOD OUR BASIS,
STASIS IS OUR MEMBRANE!
STASIS IS OUR BALM!

9/30/19 - 49 - Act I, Scene 6
JAN-THE-WISE
A welcome notion. And you, Famished One, do you share this
opinion?
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
STASIS IS A FEELING,
A POWERFUL SENSATION,
THAT ALL THINGS IN CREATION
KNOW DEEP DOWN TO THE CORE.
WHEN LIFE GETS TOO UNCERTAIN,
WITHOUT A FIRM OASIS,
STASIS GIVES THE SENSE THAT
WE’LL LIVE FOREVER MORE!
SLY & FAMISHED

STASIS IS OUR BALM!
(Sly and Famished sing "Ah" under Wise's verse.)
JAN-THE-WISE
WE’RE A SIMPLE LIFE FORM,
A FRAGILE BAG OF JELLY.
WITHOUT SALT IN OUR BELLY
WE SIMPLY CEASE TO BE.
SO LET’S OBEY THE STRICTURES,
AND LISTEN TO OUR BETTERS.
FRETTERS ARE REPUGNANT
TO THOSE WHO RULE THE SEA!
(Unnamed and the Chorus enter singing.)
UNNAMED & CHORUS

STASIS IS OUR BALM!

9/30/19 - 50 - Act I, Scene 6
JAN-THE-WISE
WHAT, THEN, IS YOUR DUTY,
YOUR ROLE IN THIS GREAT CALLING?
LET NO ONE THINK OF STALLING,
OR STRAYING FROM THE PATH.
MY WORD SHALL GUIDE YOU FORWARD,
YOU’LL ACT AS I’VE DIRECTED,
INFECTED WITH THIS WARNING:
FAIL AND KNOW MY WRATH! CHORUS
FAIL AND KNOW HIS WRATH!
ALL
STASIS IS OUR WISE
BALM! STASIS IS THE MEMBRANE
THAT KEEPS THE YEASTS
TOGETHER.
STASIS IS OUR
ALL
BALM!
(Unnamed and The Chorus disappear, leaving Wise,

Sly & Famished to continue plotting.)
JAN-THE-WISE
You have done well, loyal yeasts. Your sample is happily
accepted.
JAN-THE-SLY
We thank you. And yet, there is a payment we would be most
grateful to accept in lieu of your gratitude, Wise One, if
such payment were possible.
JAN-THE-WISE
Payment?
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
I am soon to pop open of my own accord. Being Famished, I
have feasted, and having filled my belly beyond full I am
soon to procreate.

9/30/19 - 51 - Act I, Scene 6
JAN-THE-WISE
Treason!
JAN-THE-SLY
Which is why we have brought my brother's even greater
treason to your attention. What Famished did was wrong,
but how right it is to have a loyal soul willing to betray
your enemies to you in exchange for your mercy. Such a
creature could have her uses in the struggles to come.
JAN-THE-WISE
Indeed she could.
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Spare me and I’ll do anything you say.
JAN-THE-WISE
Fear not, Famished Jan, you shall know mercy. Take these
few fatties as tokens of my current good will.
(He gives her a few fatties.)
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
They’ll put me over the top, they will. I’ll eat them!
JAN-THE-SLY
The throne is basically mine. It’s basically mine!
JAN-THE-WISE
Now away with us, to our individual goings-on! The
Jamboree approaches!
(Blackout.)

9/30/19 - 52 - Act I, Scene 7
ACT I
Scene 7
(Sweet's private nook. Sweet sits alone,

considering a fistful of muck.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Such a treasure, priceless beyond all fatties. But how
much treasure is worth the life of Second Jan? That's the
question I've been asking myself.
(Wise enters.)
JAN-THE-WISE
As have I.
(Startled, she spins.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Jan-the-Wise!
(She kneels, concealing the muck.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Speaking of which, might not the King's son be about as
well?
JAN-THE-SWEET
I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest.
JAN-THE-WISE
About in some such place, I would imagine.
JAN-THE-SWEET
Oh. Yes. I heard him say something about spending time in
- - the fatty cellar.
JAN-THE-WISE
Did he?
JAN-THE-SWEET
He did. No need to trouble yourself about it, then. I’m
sure he’ll be back soon.
JAN-THE-WISE
I have come, Jan-the-Sweet, to take you to the Grand
Jamboree of Sameness. Prepare yourself.

9/30/19 - 53 - Act I, Scene 7
JAN-THE-SWEET
Forgive me, Jan-the-Wise, but as I explained I am yet in my
grievings.
JAN-THE-WISE
You will not refuse me again, Sweet One. Not in the
position you’re in.
(Begin vamp for "Liar".)
(#09) LIAR
JAN-THE-SWEET
“Position”? I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest idea what
you’re talking about.
JAN-THE-WISE
Oh, I think you do.
JAN-THE-SWEET
No, I don't.
JAN-THE-WISE
Yeah, you do!
JAN-THE-SWEET
No, I don't!
JAN-THE-WISE
Oh, yeah!! You do!!
(Wise sings.)
JAN-THE-WISE
YOU THINK YOU'RE LOOKIN' SO RIGHTEOUS.
YOU THINK YOU'RE SAFE AS CAN BE.
YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT US BAMBOOZLED.
BUT, BABE, YOU CAN'T BOOZLE ME.
SOME SAY YOU'RE KIND AND GOOD-NATURED.

SOME SAY YOU'RE NICE AND SINCERE.
SOME SAY YOU’RE PURE AS A PROPHET.
SOME FOLKS ARE FOOLISH, I FEAR.
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!

9/30/19 - 54 - Act I, Scene 7
JAN-THE-WISE(Cont'd.)
WHY LIE TO ME, BABY,
WHEN I KNOW THAT YOUR
LIES ARE LIES!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Forgive me, Wise One, but I'm afraid I must ask you now to
leave.
JAN-THE-WISE
And shall I leave with - THIS?!
(Wise uncovers Sweet’s muck.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Oh, dear.
JAN-THE-WISE
I'VE SEE THE SALTS OF YOUR LABOR.
I'VE SEEN THE PROOF OF YOUR SIN.
I'VE SEEN THE SECRET YOU'RE KEEPIN'.
NOW SEE THE TROUBLE YOU'RE IN.
YOUR PAL IS FLOATIN' ON HIGH NOW.

YOUR PAL'S GONE OFF THE DEEP END.
YOUR PAL HAS PUT YOU IN DANGER.
SO IS HE REALLY A FRIEND?
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
I'M THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE YEARNING FOR, YEAH!

I'M THE ONE WHO KNOWS THE TOTAL SCORE, YEAH!
I'M THE HERO, NOT THAT OTHER GUY!

WHEN YOU WASTE YOUR TIME WITH HIM,
WHEN YOU STRUT AND PASS ME BY,
THERE’S NO REASON, THERE’S NO RHYME!
ALL THAT I CAN ASK IS WHY?!
I THOUGHT I'D MAKE YOU AN OFFER.

I THOUGHT I'D CANCEL THIS CRIME.
I THOUGHT I'D SAVE YOU FROM TREASON.
PERHAPS I'M WASTING MY TIME.

9/30/19 - 55 - Act I, Scene 7
I THINK I'LL TALK TO THE OLD ONE.
I THINK I'LL SHOW HIM THIS TRASH.
I THINK THE KING WILL BE ANGRY.
PERHAPS HE'LL DO SOMETHING RASH.
(Wise turns to go.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Wait! Please.
JAN-THE-WISE
You wish to redeem yourself?
JAN-THE-SWEET
I wish only to redeem the life of the king's son.
JAN-THE-WISE
Come with me to the Jamboree as my... Well, I might as
well say it - as my date. We shall show all that we are
united in affections as well as purpose. As long as you
show me favor, Second Jan shall know mercy.
JAN-THE-SWEET
As you wish. I shall come.
JAN-THE-WISE
Say it.
JAN-THE-SWEET
As your - - date.
JAN-THE-WISE
Now, let us seal our compact - - like so.
(He kisses her, she breaks away.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Still sweet, I would say.
JAN-THE-SWEET
YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF MY SWEETNESS?
JAN-THE-WISE
I LIKE IT, HOW COULD I NOT?!
JAN-THE-SWEET
I HATE THE TASTE OF YOUR WISDOM!

9/30/19 - 56 - Act I, Scene 7
JAN-THE-WISE
YOUR HATE HAS GOT ME ALL HOT!
JAN-THE-SWEET
YOUR HEAT IS CRASS AND REVOLTING!
JAN-THE-WISE
MORE HATE TO FUEL MY DESIRE!
JAN-THE-SWEET
OKAY, YOUR HEAT IS DELIGHTFUL!
JAN-THE-WISE
MORE LIES TO TURN UP THE FIRE!
WISE SWEET
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
LIAR!
WISE & SWEET

WHY LIE TO ME/YOU, BABY,
WHEN WE KNOW THAT YOUR/MY LIES ARE-
LIE TO YOU/ME, BABY,
WHEN WE KNOW THAT YOUR/MY LIES ARE-
LIE TO YOU/ME, BABY,
WHEN WE KNOW THAT YOUR/MY LIES ARE LIES?!
(Wise leads Sweet off. Second steps forward from

the shadows, hugely, obviously pregnant. He has
seen everything.)
Why lie - - indeed!
(Blackout.)

9/30/19 - 57 - Act I, Scene 8
ACT I
Scene 8
(The Grand Hall/Montage. Elder calls out to his

nation; all scramble in preparation for the
coming event.)
(#10) ACT ONE FINALE
JAN-THE-ELDER
COME, YOU YEASTS FROM THE VALLEYS STEEP!
CHORUS
POWER TO THE YEASTS!
JAN-THE-ELDER
ALL YOU YEASTS FROM THE MURKY DEEP!
CHORUS
POWER TO THE YEASTS!
JAN-THE-ELDER
GATHER YE, MY YEASTLY PEOPLES!
GATHER 'ROUND MY JAMBOREE!
GATHER YE, AND HAIL YOUR KING,
THAT'S ME!
CHORUS
HAIL!
JAN-THE-ELDER
LET THIS NOT BE A TIME FOR LAMENESS!
CHORUS
OOH!
JAN-THE-ELDER
IT'S THE JAMBOREE OF SAMENESS!
CHORUS
AHH!
JAN-THE-ELDER
IT'S THE GRAND JAMBOREE OF SAMENESS!
(Elder addresses all present, being Unnamed, the

Chorus, Sly, and a visibly no longer pregnant
Famished.)

9/30/19 - 58 - Act I, Scene 8
JAN-THE-ELDER
My fellow yeasts, as you know it is our tradition that all
contribute an offering of some kind to these jamborees,
hence joining the assets of the individual to the assets of
the whole. Now, who shall be the first to be so taxed?
JAN-THE-SLY
Let it be I, father!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Daughter.
JAN-THE-SLY
(Offering her father some crystals)
I give you, then, these few crystals -
ALL
(Impressed)
Oooo.
JAN-THE-SLY
- and my friend, Jan-the-Famished. A worthy attendee, I
pray.
JAN-THE-ELDER
As do I. And if you are her offering, Famished One, what
then might be your offering?
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Crystals -
ALL
(Even more impressed)
Oooo!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
- and an offering made from love, Old One.
JAN-THE-ELDER
"Love"?!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
I pray you accept it in good humor.
(Jan-the-Youngest enters and sings.)

9/30/19 - 59 - Act I, Scene 8
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
SINCE THE SIZE OF OUR GREAT NATION
IS AS BIG AS IT SHOULD BE,
BRAND-NEW YEASTS ARE RARELY WELCOME,
BUT I HOPE YOU’LL WELCOME ME.
YOU MAY CALL ME JAN-THE-YOUNGEST,
NEWLY BORN TO FAMISHED-JAN!
THOUGH WE FEAR YOUR ROYAL IRE,
IT IS OUR PROFOUND DESIRE
YOU’LL NOT POP ME OPEN ANON!
WE ARE YEASTS! LET’S JUST MOVE ON!
JAN-THE-ELDER
What is the meaning of this?
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
It is my son, Old One, newly born.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Are you so ignorant of The Strictures that you would
present this newborn to me now, here?!
JAN-THE-SLY
Please, father, allow me to vouch for her.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Vouch for her?! You vouch for her?!!
(Wise enters.)
JAN-THE-WISE
As do I, Jan-the-Elder! As should we all!
ALL
Whaa-?!
(Wise sings.)
JAN-THE-WISE
THERE IS STASIS,
THERE IS STASIS,
IN THE BIRTH OF YOUNGEST JAN.
JAN-THE-WRETCHED,
HE KVETCHED,
NOW THE WRETCHED ONE IS GONE.

9/30/19 - 60 - Act I, Scene 8
THERE IS STASIS,
THERE IS STASIS,
SINCE THE FAMISHED ONE DID SPAWN.
THIS PRESENTS US
OUR FORMER CENSUS.
AND THE YEASTS GO ON AND ON.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Mathematics!
JAN-THE-WISE
Indeed!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Forgive me my suspicions. Wishing so fervently to defend
this, my Jamboree, I defiled it myself.
JAN-THE-WISE
Let the fates reward your understanding, then, with an
offering so sweet that the tang of treason will forever be
subsumed by the tang of sweetness!
(Sweet enters. All gathered are happily

surprised and pleased by her presence.)
ALL
Ahhhhhh!
JAN-THE-SWEET
STASIS IS THE ANSWER
TO EVERY YEASTLY QUERY.
AND THOUGH THE TIMES ARE DREARY,
WE MUST RESPECT THE KING.
STASIS IS THE ANSWER!
STASIS IS THE THING!
(All applaud. Second, now no longer pregnant,

enters unseen to witness Sweet kissing Wise's
hand as Sly addresses Wise publicly.)
JAN-THE-SLY
Glory to you, Wise One, that you have rejoined Sweet to her
king! But 'twould not now be the moment to present the
sample that explains why my brother is not here to share in
our happiness as well?!

9/30/19 - 61 - Act I, Scene 8
(Second steps forward.)
Oh, but I am here, sister, and have been for some time!
ALL(But Second)
WHAA- ?!
YES! IT’S I! JAN, THE FIRST BORN SON!
ALL(But Second)
FIRST-BORN OF THE KING!
I’VE BEEN OUT! I'VE BEEN ON THE RUN!
WISE & SLY

SNEAKY LITTLE THING!
SHAME ON YE, MY ROYAL FATHER!
SHAME ON YE, AND JAN-THE-WISE.
YOU WOULD STARVE US ALL UNTIL OUR NATION DIES!
YOU MAY RULE US AS IF YOU'RE BLAMELESS,
BUT YOUR STRICTURES ARE SIMPLY SHAMELESS!
IT’S A CANNED JAMBOREE OF SAMENESS!
JAN-THE-ELDER
What is the meaning of this, my son, that you would so
enter our jamboree in such a fashion?!
A meaning I shall reveal soon enough. And what is the
meaning of you, Sweet One, that I find you here, and in
attendance with Jan-the-Wise?!
JAN-THE-SLY
Here, floating about on the bottom of the sea, which is
more than I can say for YOU!
(On “YOU!”, Sly produces some muck for all to

see.)
ALL
[Gasp?!]

9/30/19 - 62 - Act I, Scene 8
JAN-THE-SLY
IT IS MUCK!
JAN-THE-ELDER
MUCK?!
JAN-THE-SLY
IT IS MUCK!
ALL
MUCK!
JAN-THE-SLY
FROM THE PLACE WHERE YEASTS CAN'T GO!
ALL
(Beginning to put it together)
Huh.
JAN-THE-SLY
AND IT BECKONED
JAN-THE-SECOND
AND HE BROUGHT THAT MUCK BELOW.
CHORUS-1
Wow.
JAN-THE-SLY
OUT OF LUCK!
LUCK?!
JAN-THE-SLY
WHEN HE GAVE THAT MUCK TO SWEET
FOR HER TO STOW.
ALL
(Scandalized)
Oh.
JAN-THE-SLY
BUT THE MUCK THAT HE HAD TENDERED
TO THE SWEET HAS BEEN SURRENEDERED.
THANKS TO HER WE'RE ALL IN THE KNOW!
NOW YOU MUST CONDEMN MY BRO!

9/30/19 - 63 - Act I, Scene 8
SECOND SWEET
SECOND JAN, IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS -
YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME-
I AM WISE'S DATE, YES, THAT IS TRUE.
TO SLY AND WISE!
YOU REMAIN THE YEAST OF MY DREAMS.
AND YOU HAVE PLAYED
ME-
THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THAT I COULD DO.
INTO THEIR LIES!
I HAD HARD DECISIONS TO MAKE.
YOU HAVE CONVEYED ME-
I DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEST FOR YOU.
INTO THEIR PLOT!
IF YOU SPURN ME, WHERE WILL I GO?
YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!
IF YOU LEAVE ME, WHAT WILL I DO?
GEE, THANKS A LOT!
PLEASE BELIEVE I'M SWEET, AND STAND
AGAINST DECEIT.
JAN-THE-WISE
And what’s more, he has eaten of this muck! He would have
us all eat this muck soon enough!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Wise One, our bargain! Have you lied to me?!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Is it true, my son? Have you not only floated up to the
Upper Reaches, but actually eaten of the filth you found up
there?
YES, I HAD SOME MUCK FOR DINNER
AND I HAD SOME MUCK FOR LUNCH!
FOLLOWING A BIG MUCK BREAKFAST,
I ATE MUCK A WHOLE BIG BUNCH!
SALT CAN MAKE OUR CELLS DIVIDE UP.

MUCK DOES ALSO, THAT'S MY HUNCH!
THAT'S BECAUSE THE MUCK HAS SPLIT ME
AND A BRAND NEW CREATURE QUIT ME!
SHE'S A CHICK FANTASTIC'LLY WILD!

SO PLEASE WELCOME MY NEW CHILD!

9/30/19 - 64 - Act I, Scene 8
(A figure steps into the light: It’s the New

One, an altogether new life form!)
ALL
[GASP!!]
(The yeasts recoil, horrified and aghast, as the

New One scurries over to Second, seeking
protection beside her father.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Dear God! What is the meaning of this?!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
All tales have their twists, Wise One!
CHORUS-1
And all twists their tale!
JAN-THE-SLY
But - - what IS that thing?!
CHORUS-2
It's supposed to be a new life form, but what she really
symbolizes is-
ALL(Except Chorus-2)
(To Chorus-2)
SILENCE!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
(To Sly)
You shall know soon enough - in Act Two!
(To the audience)
We shall all know what there is to be known -
ALL(Except New One)

In Act Two!
(Second protects his daughter as the yeasts

circle, gawk, object, advance, retreat, wail, and
generally respond to the baffling, fascinating,
terrifying presence of this alien creature.)

9/30/19 - 65 - Act I, Scene 8
CHORUS PRINCIPALS
IT’S A FLUKE! THERE’S
IT’S A FREAK!
IT’S A BEAST! A
YET SO SLEEK!
NOT A YEAST NEW
IN PHYSIQUE,
OR THE LEAST WORLD
BIT LIKE US!
IT’S A FIEND! HERE
IT’S A FRIGHT!
DOES IT STING WITH-
OUT OF SPITE?!
KEEP THAT THING IN
WITHIN SIGHT -
IT MAY SPRING US!
AND BITE US!
HEAVEN HELP ME! THERE’S A NEW WORLD!
MY MIND IS SPINNING! THERE’S A NEW WORLD!
THIS IS SURELY THERE’S A NEW WORLD!
A NEW BEGINNING! THERE’S A NEW WORLD!
JUST WHICH WAY IS THERE’S A NEW WORLD!
THE WATER FLOWING? THERE’S A NEW WORLD!
WHAT NEW WAVE ARE WE THERE’S A NEW WORLD!
UNDERGOING? THERE’S A NEW WORLD!
ALL(Except Second & New One) SECOND

HEAR THE
SONG! HEAR
THE SONG!
OF THE BEGINNING OF
TIME! HEAR
THE SONG!
WHEN WATER COVERED THE
EARTH, HEAR
THE SONG!
AND IN THAT BLACK SHINING
SEA, BLACK
SHINING SEA!
DOWN BY THE ROCKS AND THE
SAND, ROCKS
AND THE SAND!
WOMEN(Except New One) MEN(Except Second)

THE VERY
FIRST THE
LIFE FORM APPEARED: VERY FIRST LIFEFORM
APPEARED:

9/30/19 - 66 - Act I, Scene 8
ALL(Except Second & New One)

IT WAS THE YEAST!
SECOND ALL(Except Second & New One)

BUT THERE’S A NEW
WORLD! IT WAS
THE YEAST!
BUT THERE'S A NEW WORLD!
ALL(Except Second & New One)

HEAVEN HELP US! A NEW BEGINNING!
END ACT ONE

9/30/19 - 67 - Act II, Scene 1
ACT II
Scene 1
(The Grand Hall of the Yeasts. Unnamed and The

Chorus enter to address the audience directly.
As they sing, Wise storms on with Sly, Famished
and Youngest dragging Second and The New One
behind them in chains.)
(#11) YOU DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT LOVE
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
YOU THERE, LOOKING SMUG AND CONTENT
IN YOUR CUSHIONED THEATER SEATS,
YOUR TIME HERE IS GRAVELY MISSPENT
IF YOU WANTED HAPPY CONCEITS.
HUSBANDS, SONS, AND DAUGHTERS AND WIVES

PLACIDLY OBSERVING OUR PLAY -
YOU THINK LOVE'S CEMENTING YOUR LIVES.
YOU THINK LOVE WILL CARRY THE DAY.
UNNAMED & CHORUS

WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT LOVE!
LOVE COMES ON WITH HURRICANE FORCE,
DRIVES A DIRE, DISASTROUS COURSE.
LOVE OUTKILLS DISEASE AND FAMINE!
CHORUS
HEAR US!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
AS WE SING ABOUT LOVE!
CHORUS
LOVE IS LIKE
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
A HELL UPON EARTH!
CHORUS
TORTURE!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
THAT BEGINS UPON BIRTH!
UNNAMED & CHORUS

JOIN US NOW AS WE EXAMINE:

9/30/19 - 68 - Act II, Scene 1
UNNAMED & CHORUS(Cont'd.)

LOVE-TINGED SADNESS,
LOVE-FUELED MADNESS,
STEAMING PILES OF
WIGGED-OUT, PIGGED OUT
LOVE!
(Sly, Famished & Youngest confer privately as

Elder enters to take his seat on the Seat of
Power and Sweet rushes on to plead with Wise.)
JAN-THE-SLY
Floating above? Collecting muck? Eating muck?! Birthing
a beast?! 'Tis more than I hoped for!!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
And so your brother is doomed because of it!
JAN-THE-SLY
At last!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
And the Sweet One?!
JAN-THE-SLY
Who cares?!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
And the New One?!
JAN-THE-SLY
Ah, she’s a sleek one, that new creature, she could have
her uses. But behold! Each turns upon each! The
political waters are parting - for me!
(Wise confronts Sweet.)
JAN-THE-WISE
(To Sweet)
YOU THINK LOVE PROTECTS YOU FROM FATE!
YOU THINK LOVE EXCUSES YOUR LIES!
JAN-THE-SWEET
(To Wise, threatening suicide)
MARK MY WORDS, IF SECOND IS KILLED
HE WON'T BE ALONE WHEN HE DIES!

9/30/19 - 69 - Act II, Scene 1
(The New One cowers beside Second who pleads with

Elder as Elder inspects the muck.)
(To Elder)
YOU GAVE BIRTH TO ME IN THE MURK!
YOU'RE THE VERY SOURCE OF MY LIFE!
JAN-THE-ELDER
(To Second)
HOW CAN I FORGIVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
AND DEFEND MY NATION FROM STRIFE?!
UNNAMED & CHORUS

(To the audience, refering to the principles)
WELL, THEY DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT LOVE!
WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE, THEY'RE NOT BRIGHT!
STEP UP FOLKS, IT'S AMATEUR NIGHT!
LOSERS ALL - NOT ONE A LOVER!
WISE, SWEET, SECOND, ELDER, UNNAMED & CHORUS

YOUNGEST, FAMISHED, & SLY (To Wise, Sweet,
(To Unnamed & Chorus) Second, Elder,
Youngest, Famished, &
Sly)
YES, WE KNOW A THING ABOUT
LOVE! YOU DON'T KNOW!
HAVEN'T YOU BEEN WATCHING OUR
SHOW?! YOU DON'T KNOW!
WISE, SWEET, SECOND, ELDER, YOUNGEST, FAMISHED, & SLY

(To Unnamed and the Chorus)
YOU DON'T KNOW THE THINGS THAT WE KNOW!
ALL(But New One)

(To the audience)
BUT YOU'LL SEE AS WE UNCOVER:
LOVE-TINGED SADNESS,
LOVE-FUELED MADNESS,
STEAMING PILES OF
WIGGED-OUT, PIGGED OUT-
JAN-THE-WISE
(To Unnamed and the Chorus, refering to Second)
Now, pop him open!!!!!
JAN-THE-SWEET
NO!

9/30/19 - 70 - Act II, Scene 1
JAN-THE-WISE
YES!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
NO!
JAN-THE-WISE
Pop!
JAN-THE-SLY
YES!
SWEET, FAMISHED, & YOUNGEST

NO!
WISE & SLY

OH, YES!
CHORUS
Pop?!
OH, NO!
JAN-THE-WISE
Pop!
CHORUS
YES!
JAN-THE-SLY
Pop!
JAN-THE-ELDER
NO!
JAN-THE-WISE
(To Elder)
Pop?!
(To Elder, answering his previous “No!”)
YES!
JAN-THE-ELDER
(To Second, confused)
Pop?!

9/30/19 - 71 - Act II, Scene 1
(To Elder)
NO!
WISE & SLY

Pop!
CHORUS
YES!
WISE & SLY

Pop!
SECOND, SWEET, FAMISHED, & ELDER

NO!
WISE & SLY

Pop!
CHORUS
YES!
THE-NEW-ONE
NOOOOOOO!!!
ALL
[Gasp]!
(All back away, terrified. The New One struggles

to make herself understood.)
THE-NEW-ONE
No! No, um... desss-troy! He good. Me good.
JAN-THE-ELDER
What did you say?!
THE-NEW-ONE
Me good. Me from you. Me good.
(Beat.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
Bring the beast closer.
JAN-THE-WISE
Your majesty, this creature is a danger, clearly!

9/30/19 - 72 - Act II, Scene 1
JAN-THE-ELDER
Bring it!
(The New One is escorted closer.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
Speak, creature. Let me hear your words again.
(She sings, gently, sincerely, uncertainly.)
(#12) ME GOOD
THE NEW ONE

ME GOOD.
ME GOOD.
ME FROM HIM (referring to Second).
ME GOOD.
HIM GOOD.
HIM MAKE ME.
ME ALONE WITHOUT HIM.

ALONE NOT GOOD.
ME GOOD.
HE GOOD.
ME AND HE GOOD.
WE ARE GOOD.
HERE!
I AM HERE!
WHY?!
I DON’T KNOW!
JAN-THE-ELDER
(Entranced by The New One)
HERE!
WE ARE HERE!
WE ARE HERE TOGETHER!
ELDER & THE NEW ONE

WHY?!
WHO KNOWS WHY?!
BUT WE ARE HERE!
AND WE ARE NOT ALONE!

9/30/19 - 73 - Act II, Scene 1
ALL(Except Elder, Wise & Sly)

WE GOOD.
WE GOOD.
WE FROM YOU (Referring to Elder).
WE GOOD.
JAN-THE-ELDER
I GOOD.
I MAKE YOU (Referring to all the yeasts).

YOU ALONE WITHOUT US.
JAN-THE-ELDER
ALONE NOT GOOD.

I GOOD.
WE GOOD.
JAN-THE-ELDER
MAYBE SHE GOOD (Referring to The New One)!
ELDER & THE NEW ONE

WE ARE –
WE ARE GOOD!
The muck released from me the very best of me and let me
give birth to her. Imagine the tomorrows we might have
with offspring such as this.
JAN-THE-ELDER
So sleek. So fresh. Maybe I have been wrong about more
things than I care to admit.
JAN-THE-WISE
Majesty, please, what do you mean to do?!
JAN-THE-ELDER
I don’t know just yet. It’s all beyond my reference level,
if truth be told.
JAN-THE-WISE
But what about the Strictures?! What about everything
we’ve believed in since the disasters brought on by the
excesses of the Do-As-You-Please Program?!

9/30/19 - 74 - Act II, Scene 1
JAN-THE-ELDER
Yes, what about those things.
(To Famished & Youngest)
You two, take Second away, to the Fatty Cellars or some
such. Enchain him there until I know what to do.
JAN-THE-WISE
Take him away!
(Famished and Youngest drag Second away.)
The time of the Strictures is over, Father! I have found
the way! I have found the way!!
(They exit, Sweet kneels before Elder.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
The muck may have released the best in your son, Lord, but
the New One released the best in you, for you have shown us
the true meaning of kindness this day.
(Sensing her statement may have been premature,
and eager to get to Second, Sweet backs away)
Um - - yeah. And so, if you'll excuse me, I have business
of my own to attend to - in my private nook. Good day!
(Sweet exits in a hurry.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Can this really be what you want, Old One?
JAN-THE-ELDER
For the time being. Now, to the chambers with us. I wish
to peruse the creature more closely during this, my time of
deliberations.
JAN-THE-WISE
Escort them.
(The Chorus moves to take hold of the New One,

but Elder stops them.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
No need. This beast is but a baby. And me? I am but the
oldest living thing on Earth. Now come, before my
membranes burst of their own accord.
(Elder escorts the New One out with him.)

9/30/19 - 75 - Act II, Scene 1
JAN-THE-SLY
Well, that was disappointing.
JAN-THE-WISE
The King has lost his mind!
JAN-THE-SLY
Mad with love for his son.
JAN-THE-WISE
He allows that traitor his life?! He welcomes that beast
into his chambers?! Who knows what peril he faces, alone
as he is with that thing!
JAN-THE-SLY
Perhaps ‘tis a peril worth permitting.
JAN-THE-WISE
What’s that?!
JAN-THE-SLY
(To Unnamed)
You, go to Sweet's nook and keep her there. Wise will have
business with her soon enough, no doubt.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
As you wish - - majesty.
(Unnamed and the Chorus exit.)
JAN-THE-WISE
She's calling you majesty now?
JAN-THE-SLY
I asked her to. Wouldst that Sweet call you majesty
instead of Second.
JAN-THE-WISE
Sweet calls Second "Majesty"?!
JAN-THE-SLY
In the privacy of her mind, certainly. And here's the thing,
Wise One, as long as my father lives, then so shall my
brother. But if some bad thing were to befall my father...
JAN-THE-WISE
"Bad"?! What kind of "bad"?

9/30/19 - 76 - Act II, Scene 1
JAN-THE-SLY
An accident, for example, or something made to look like an
accident. Pinning it on the beast would be a simple matter.
JAN-THE-WISE
(Putting it together)
"Some bad- "? "Accident- "?! Pinning it on the- "?!!
ENOUGH!!! Even to think it is an abomination!
JAN-THE-SLY
You'll do the dirty work and I'll, whatever, create a
distraction or something.
JAN-THE-WISE
He is our king!
JAN-THE-SLY
Wrong, Wise One, he was our king! No more!
JAN-THE-WISE
It is the highest treason!
(Begin vamp for “Traitor to Love”.)
(#13) DON'T BE A TRAITOR TO LOVE
JAN-THE-SLY
Oh, there is a higher treason, mark me! And you are
dangerously close to committing it!
(She sings.)
JAN-THE-SLY
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD, THERE'S A NEW KING WHO RULES IN THE SEA?
HE'LL NEVER SIT ON A THRONE, OR PRONOUNCE A DECREE.
AND YET HE'S ALL AROUND YOU.
HIS POW'R AND LAWS SURROUND YOU.
GIVE INTO YOUR PASSION, THAT'S HIS ONLY COMMAND.
IF YOU SURRENDER TO YOUR LUST, THIS KING WILL MORE THEN UN-
DER-STAND.
DON'T BE A TRAITOR, A TRAITOR TO LOVE.

DO WHAT YOU NEED TO, TO QUENCH YOUR DESIRE.
LOVE IS THE KING, NOW. HIS KINGDOM IS FIRE.
DON'T BE A TRAITOR TO LOVE!

9/30/19 - 77 - Act II, Scene 1
JAN-THE-WISE
It is madness!
JAN-THE-SLY
It is your path to possessing Sweet, and my path to, you
know, whatever, things that interest me!
JAN-THE-WISE
It is unthinkable!
JAN-THE-SLY
And yet we must think it!
JAN-THE-WISE
No!
JAN-THE-SLY
Yes!
JAN-THE-WISE
NO!!
JAN-THE-SLY
OH, YES!!
(She sings some more.)
JAN-THE-SLY
SWEET IS THE PRIZE YOU'VE BEEN ORDERED BY LOVE TO ATTAIN.
BUT SECOND STOLE YOUR REWARD, SO HE NEEDS TO BE SLAIN.
BUT ELDER WON'T OKAY IT
NO MATTER HOW WE PLAY IT.
THE PRINCE NEEDS TO DIE, IT'S REALLY CLEAR AS CAN BE.
BUT FIRST THE OLD ONE NEEDS TO GO, THAT'S WHAT LORD LOVE IS
TELLING ME!

LOVE IS THE RULER YOU NEED TO OBEY.
FOLLOW HIS ORDER AND ENTER THE FRAY.
DON'T BE A TRAITOR TO LOVE.
LOVE'S THE HIGHEST FUN,

IT'S LIKE TWO SEP'RATE CELLS COMBINED AS ONE
WITH ALL THE PSYCHIC CLOSENESS THAT DERIVES FROM BEING
REALLY CLOSE.

9/30/19 - 78 - Act II, Scene 1
JAN-THE-SLY(Cont'd.)
I'M IN LOVE WITH ME,
SO I'M AS CLOSE TO ME AS ONE CAN BE.
BUT WHEN YOU JOIN WITH SWEET IT'S LIKE YOU'LL SCORE A
DOUBLE DOSE!
JAN-THE-WISE
"Join"?
JAN-THE-SLY
A DOSE OF JOY THAT'S REALLY GREAT,
IS WHAT YOU'LL GET WHEN SWEET'S YOUR MATE!
AND THIS IS JUST THE START
OF WHAT KING LOVE HAS PLANNED FOR YOU!
JAN-THE-WISE
A DOSE OF STRENGTH, A DOSE OF LIFE,
I'LL OVERDOSE ON MY NEW WIFE!
AND ONCE I'M JOINED WITH HER
I'LL RULE LIKE I'M IMMORTAL, TOO!
JAN-THE-SLY
"Rule"?
JAN-THE-WISE
ELDER BETRAYED ALL OUR KIND WHEN HE SPARED HIS FIRST BORN.
AND YES, IT'S TRUE, I DIG SWEET, THAT'S THE REASON I'M
TORN.
SO LOVE'S BOTH GOOD AND CRAPPY.
IT MAKES US CRUEL AND SAPPY.
GIVE INTO HIS STRICTURES, YES THERE'S NO OTHER CHOICE.

ONCE ELDER GIVES HIS LIFE FOR LOVE WE'LL ALL HAVE REASONS
TO REJOICE.
ME? I'M NO TRAITOR! NO TRAITOR TO LOVE!

I'LL KILL THE OLD KING, AND BOW TO THE NEW!
NOW LOVE WILL RULE ME IN ALL THAT I DO!
JAN-THE-SLY
IT WON'T BE A BOTHER
TO MURDER MY FATHER.
JAN-THE-WISE
I WANT TO CO-MINGLE,
IT BEATS BEING SINGLE.

9/30/19 - 79 - Act II, Scene 1
JAN-THE-SLY
THEN QUIET ALL QUIBBLING
BY KILLING MY SIBLING.
JAN-THE-WISE
THEN JOIN WITH THE SWEET ONE
TO BE A COMPLETE ONE.
WISE & SLY

OH!
DO WHAT YOU NEED TO, TO QUENCH YOUR DESIRE.
LOVE IS THE KING, NOW. HIS KINGDOM IS FIRE.
JAN-THE-WISE
DON'T BE A TRAITOR TO LOVE, NO!
JAN-THE-SLY
DON'T BE A TRAITOR TO LOVE, NO!
JAN-THE-WISE
WON'T BE A TRAITOR TO LOVE,
WISE & SLY

OH, DON'T BE A TRAITOR TO LOVE!
(Blackout.)

9/30/19 - 80 - Act II, Scene 2
ACT II
Scene 2
(The Fatty cellars. Second is chained to a rock.

Sweet, unseen by Second, is confronting Famished
and Youngest.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
You betrayed me, what with your cleaning service and all!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
How could I not?! It was all about saving myself, you see.
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
And her young one.
JAN-THE-SWEET
Then save yourself again! Go to the King and tell him all,
about the Wise One and the Sly!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
What madness is this?! Obstruct the Wise One and suffer
the pop!
JAN-THE-SWEET
How long do you expect to survive once Wise starts
enforcing The Strictures again?!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
Not too long, I suppose.
JAN-THE-SWEET
What's more, Elder is teetering on the edge. With a whiff
of truth he’ll topple onto the right side of history yet.
Can I trust you?
(Famished and Youngest confer quickly. Then)
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
We sense which way the tides are flowing.
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
Likewise, we have no desire to be squished when the King
falls - - onto the right side of history - - or whatever it
is you’re talking about!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Go, then! I shall join you soon enough!

9/30/19 - 81 - Act II, Scene 2
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
To the King's private chambers, lest we be squished!
(Famished and Youngest race off. Sweet

approaches Second.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
One so right now turned so wronged.
Indeed. But by whom?
JAN-THE-SWEET
You once asked pardon for an offense, Second Jan, and so I
come to do the same. I beg of thee, let me help you.
Perhaps together we might pull these chains from their
anchors, then petition the King anew.
"Help" me? I had meant to present the muck to my father
under the best of possible circumstances. How would you
describe the "help" you provided by attending the jamboree
with Wise as his - well, I might as well say it! - as his
date?!
(Music begins; Second sings.)
(#14) YOU'RE NOT THE YEAST YOU USED TO BE
ONCE YOU WERE A TENDER SOUL WHO NEVER LIED.
YOU WERE FULL OF SWEETNESS; YOU WERE GOOD PERSONIFIED.
I FELL FOR YOUR ACT
WHEN WE MADE THAT SECRET PACT.
I ENTRUSTED YOU WITH MY PRECIOUS MUCK.
NOW I’M ALL OUT OF LUCK!
THE WAY THAT YOU USED ME WAS OBSCENE,
FOR NOW I SEE

YOU NARCED ON ME.
YOU’RE NOT THE YEAST YOU USED TO BE!

NOT IN THE LEAST
ARE YOU THE YEAST
YOU USED TO BE!

9/30/19 - 82 - Act II, Scene 2
JAN-THE-SWEET
Oh, Jan, you misunderstand me!
Perhaps I merely misunderstood you!
JAN-THE-SWEET
ONCE YOU WERE A DREAMER WITH A NOBLE PLAN:
FIND A SOURCE OF FOOD AS RICH AS WHEN THE WORLD BEGAN.
I TOOK UP YOUR CAUSE
WHILE YOU ROSE AND BROKE THE LAWS.
I PROTECTED YOU WITH FALSE ALIBIS.
YES, I TOLD A FEW LIES!
I WORK FOR YOUR FREEDOM EVEN NOW!
BUT WHAT I DO,
YOU MISCONSTRUE!
YOU’RE DIFF’RENT SINCE THE JAMBOREE!

ARE YOU THE YEAST YOU USED TO BE?
OR HAVE YOU CEASED
TO BE THE YEAST YOU USED TO BE?!
SECOND & SWEET

I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU,
KNEW YOU THROUGH AND THROUGH.
ALL OF YOUR JELLIES WERE CLEAR TO ME,
DEAR TO ME!
NOW I SEE THROUGH YOU

AND YOUR THOUGHTLESS WAYS!
THEY APPEAR TO ME!
THEY STRIKE FEAR IN ME!
JAN-THE-SWEET
ONCE I COULD ADMIRE YOU AS KIND AND JUST.
NOW THE VERY SIGHT OF YOU CAN FILL ME WITH DISGUST.
JAN-THE-SWEET
HAVE I BEEN A FOOL?
HAVE YOU USED ME LIKE A TOOL?
JAN-THE-SWEET
HOW I LOVED YOU ONCE, DID YOU LOVE ME TOO?
NOW I HAVEN’T A CLUE!

9/30/19 - 83 - Act II, Scene 2
SECOND & SWEET

THE TRUST THAT WE COUNTED ON IS GONE.
IT’S REARRANGED!
COMPLETELY CHANGED!
SO HERE’S THE POINT WHERE WE AGREE:

KAPUT! DECEASED!
Now go!! To your private nook, or some such!
JAN-THE-SWEET
And so I shall, but not to my nook!
To where you will, then! Just Leave me to await my
father’s decision in peace!
JAN-THE-SWEET
YOU LANGUISH UNDER LOCK AND KEY!
GOOD LUCK AS WISE’S DEVOTEE!
JAN-THE-SWEET
YOU’RE NOT THE YEAST,
JAN-THE-SECOND
YOU’RE NOT THE YEAST
SWEET & SECOND

YOU USED TO BE -
EE!
USED TO BE!
(Blackout.)

9/30/19 - 84 - Act II, Scene 3
ACT II
Scene 3
(The Outer Reaches, a blank, barren wasteland.

Unnamed and the Chorus race on.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Quickly, children! There’s little time to lose!
CHORUS-1
But Mistress, were we not to go to Sweet’s Nook?!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
We were!
CHORUS-3
To keep her there till Wise could do his business with her?!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
‘Tis what was commanded of us!
CHORUS-4
But - - this is not Sweet’s Nook!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
‘Tis Sweet’s Nook, now! For behold! We have come to none
other than - the Outer Reaches!
CHORUS-5
The Upper Reaches?!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
The OUTER Reaches! Those most barren, blank and unknowable
sea-beds far beyond the frontiers of our traditional feeding
grounds. For ‘tis to this wasteland that she who believes
her soul to be a wasteland comes – even as we speak!
(Sweet enters, lost, despairing, and not yet

noticing Unnamed and the Chorus.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
To the shadows, then, children! The future of life on Earth
may well depend upon it.
(The Chorus fades back. Sweet begins to cross;

Unnamed steps forward, intercepting her.)

9/30/19 - 85 - Act II, Scene 3
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Off to your nook, then, Sweet Jan?
JAN-THE-SWEET
Hwaa- ?! Nameless One, you startled me.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
‘Tis a new address for you if it be here.
(Sweet takes hold of her own membranes, preparing

to pop herself open.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
I’m off to join my father - in oblivion. These badlands, so
far from the hurly-burly of our familiar domain, will
provide a fitting launching place for my trip to the beyond.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
And yet, you have brought the hurly-burly with you.
JAN-THE-SWEET
I have?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
A disturbance rages within you. ‘Tis hard to ignore.
JAN-THE-SWEET
‘Tis a disturbance I hope to quiet if I can. I gave my
honor for Second and so he wounded me. ‘Tis the source of
my disturbance.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Nay, Sweet One, ‘tis but the symptom.
JAN-THE-SWEET
The symptom?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Indeed.
(The Chorus sings “Wah”s from the shadows in tempo

to the music as Unnamed sings over them.)
(#15) LOVE EQUALS PAIN

9/30/19 - 86 - Act II, Scene 3
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
YOU’RE STANDIN’ THERE, AND YOU’RE FEELIN’ CONFUSED.
YOUR NERVES ARE SHOT, AND YOUR FEELIN’S ARE BRUISED.
YOU JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ‘CAUSE YOUR HEART HAS BEEN USED FOR
GAMES,
UNNAMED & CHORUS

CRAZY -
(The Chorus sings “Wah”s, “Doo”s, and, eventually,

“Pah”s under the following verses.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
- GAMES THAT LEAVE YOU WEAK AND WITH NOWHERE TO TURN.
YOU’VE GOT A SOUL THAT CONTINUES TO BURN.
WELL, HERE’S A LESSON THAT I THINK YOU SHOULD LEARN TODAY.
HEY, HEY,
LOVE EQUALS PAIN!
MIND-NUMBING PAIN!
YES, ON EVERY OCCASION,
OF LOVE, THAT’LL BE THE EQUATION.
LOVE EQUALS PAIN!
JAN-THE-SWEET
I do love him, even now. ‘Tis what drove me to this most
unknowable place.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Animals in pain do crazy things.
(Sweet considers this, then sings.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
I’M AT THE END OF A VERY LONG ROPE.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
I hear that, sister.
JAN-THE-SWEET
I’M BEATEN DOWN, AND I’M ALL OUTTA HOPE.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Tell me about it.
JAN-THE-SWEET
IT BUMS ME OUT THAT I’VE BEEN PLAYED FOR A DOPE BY HIM.

9/30/19 - 87 - Act II, Scene 3
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
You’re no dope.
JAN-THE-SWEET
I’M NO DOPE! NO, I AM SMART. I CAN ADD AND SUBTRACT.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Pretty advanced.
JAN-THE-SWEET
I CAN DIVIDE, AS A MATTER OF FACT.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
And multiply.
JAN-THE-SWEET
BUT SINCE OUR FIGHT, I FEEL ALONE AND ATTACKED, YOU SEE.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Actually, I can’t see.
SWEET & CHORUS

WHY ME?
UNNAMED SWEET
LOVE EQUALS PAIN!
LOVE EQUALS PAIN?
SOUL-CRUSHING PAIN!
THAT’S SO MUCH PAIN.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
NOW YOU’RE HIP TO THE TOTAL OF LOVE,
AND IT’S NOT ANECDOTAL.
LOVE EQUALS PAIN!
(The Chorus emerges from the shadows and sings on

an “Ooh” as Unnamed sings.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
BUT PAIN IS PART OF LIFE,
THE LIFE YOU HAVE DOWN DEEP WITHIN YOU.
GO ON AND FEEL THAT LIFE!
DON’T LET THAT PAINFUL LOVE CHAGRIN YOU!
(The Chorus sings on an “Ah!” as Sweet sings.)

9/30/19 - 88 - Act II, Scene 3
JAN-THE-SWEET
THE PANGS OF LOVE ARE SIGNS, YOU SAY,
THAT SOMETHING GOOD IS ON THE WAY.
THOUGH IT HURTS TO LOVE, I MAY COME TO KNOW
HOW A WORLD OF LOVE MAY GROW!
UNNAMED & CHORUS SWEET

LOVE EQUALS PAIN!
LOVE EQUALS PAIN!
WORLD-STOPPING PAIN!
WON’T LET IT STOP ME!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
FOR IN SPITE OF THE TROUBLE OF LOVE,
THERE’S NO BURSTIN’ YOUR BUBBLE!
(The Chorus sings “ah” under Sweet’s verse.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
I’VE GOT SO MUCH TO GIVE,
SO MUCH SWEET LIFE TO LIVE.
THOUGH IT MAY HURT,
I KNOW THERE’S OH, SO MUCH TO GAIN!
BRING ON THE PAIN!
UNNAMED & CHORUS SWEET

LOVE EQUALS PAIN!
BRING ON THE PAIN!
LOVE EQUALS PAIN!
UNNAMED & SWEET

LOVE EQUALS
JAN-THE-SWEET
PAIN!
UNNAMED & CHORUS

YEAH!
(Sweet races off.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
It is joined, then, children, and so now comes the journey -
into doom! Now away with us! 'Twill be our tale again when
the tale is at its end.
(All exit. Segue into...)

9/30/19 - 89 - Act II, Scene 4
ACT II
Scene 4
(The Royal Chambers. Elder holds out a fatty for

a skittish but very hungry New One.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
Eat, creature. 'Tis a simple matter. Here, let me show
you how.
(He eats some of the fatty. She sniffs it.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
You see? Delicious! Now, show me how you eat. Let me
understand you.
THE NEW ONE

No.
JAN-THE-ELDER
No?!
THE NEW ONE

Not like.
(He holds out some muck.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
How about this then?
THE NEW ONE

Bad, um, taste.
JAN-THE-ELDER
'Tis all that's on the menu, my dear.
THE NEW ONE

Not taste for me.
JAN-THE-ELDER
No, I don't suppose it is. For 'tis the debris of our
existence, this stuff! Wayward jellies. Membrane
fragments. And all of it molded into a gelatinous mash and
super-charged by the rays of a dim, red sun.
THE NEW ONE

You know of the sun?

9/30/19 - 90 - Act II, Scene 4
JAN-THE-ELDER
I know of the clouds. I know of the stars. And, yes, I
have known of the muck - for eons! I feared its power and
so forbade our risings. But my son has tasted of it! It
has not destroyed him! It has given us you!
THE NEW ONE

Me good!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Indeed! And so maybe my son has found the way!
THE NEW ONE

The way?
JAN-THE-ELDER
The salts will be gone one day, that's for sure! But this
stuff?! It covers the globe! We could embark upon a whole
new Do-As-You-Please-Program, wouldn't that be wonderful?!
And all I would need to do is put aside my vague but long
held belief that doom awaits within the fibers of this goo
and embrace it. And so, I shall embrace this goo. I
shall! Like - - so!
(Vamp for “Rising Song - Reprise” begins as Elder

eats some muck and immediately feels it’s power.)
(#16) LET US RISE - REPRISE
THE NEW ONE

You - - like?
(Elder, strangely invigorated, sings.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
HOW DELIGHTFUL I FEEL!
AND HOW WRONG I ONCE WAS
TO HAVE KEPT US FROM MUCK
THAT CAN GIVE US THIS BUZZ!
NOW YOU MUST TRY A BITE!
(The New One retreats as Elder advances.)
THE NEW ONE

Try a bite of the muck?!

9/30/19 - 91 - Act II, Scene 4
JAN-THE-ELDER
TRY THE TINIEST TASTE!
THE NEW ONE

But me not like the goo!
JAN-THE-ELDER
IF WE ARE TO SURVIVE -
THE NEW ONE

Me afraid of you now!
JAN-THE-ELDER
IT MUST NOT GO TO WASTE!
THE NEW ONE

Me not like what you do!
(Elder tries to force-feed muck to The New One.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
SHALL WE RISE TOWARD THE SUN?
SHALL WE RISE TOWARD OUR DREAMS?
TOWARD A LIFE RENEWED!
LET US RISE, RISE- !
(The New One, having had enough, strikes. Elder

staggers back and collapses, mortally wounded.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
Aiieee! What have you done to me?! My materials, they’re
floating every which way!
(The New One creeps toward Elder's materials with

sudden, and growing predatory interest.)
THE NEW ONE

Mmaahh - terials?
JAN-THE-ELDER
Yes, creature, the assorted fluids and structures that,
when bounded by a membrane, make life possible! And
without which, life becomes IMpossible!
(#16A) MEAT

9/30/19 - 92 - Act II, Scene 4
THE NEW ONE

Mmaahh... Mmeee...
JAN-THE-ELDER
But stay away from them, do you hear! They're not for you!
(Ignoring this, she sings.)
THE NEW ONE

MEAT...
MEAT! MEAT!
JAN-THE-ELDER
"Meat"?
(Sly rushes on.)
JAN-THE-SLY
What this?!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Daughter!
JAN-THE-SLY
Father!
(The New One, sensing trouble, backs away.)
JAN-THE-SLY(Cont’d.)
Your materials! What's become of them?!
JAN-THE-ELDER
It is the beast! I tried to feed her, so she struck me
down!
JAN-THE-SLY
She’s murdered you?!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Well, she hasn’t murdered me yet, obviously-
JAN-THE-SLY
Wise was right! She is a danger to our kind!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Vicious and lovely!

9/30/19 - 93 - Act II, Scene 4
JAN-THE-SLY
Or perhaps just hungry.
(Wise rushes on.)
JAN-THE-WISE
What's this?!
JAN-THE-SLY
It is the beast! My father tried to feed her so she, you
know, struck him down!
JAN-THE-WISE
She murdered him?!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Well, she hasn’t murdered me yet, obviously-
JAN-THE-WISE
The deed is done, then!
JAN-THE-SLY
And we need not even pin it on the New One!
JAN-THE-WISE
For she has actually done the deed!
JAN-THE-SLY
And most conveniently so! She may yet prove more
convenient, still!
(Sly retrieves some of Elder's material.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
(To Wise, starting to put it together)
“The deed is done”?!
JAN-THE-WISE
Yeah, about that...
(Sly offers the New One the materials.)
(#16B) MEAT - FIRST REPRISE
JAN-THE-SLY
Come, creature. Let me understand you.
(The New One creeps closer - and sings.)

9/30/19 - 94 - Act II, Scene 4
THE NEW ONE

MEAT...
MEAT! MEAT!
JAN-THE-ELDER
Stop! She must not taste of the "meat"!
JAN-THE-SLY
And yet she must! This creature requires living food,
apparently, and once fed she will serve me!
JAN-THE-WISE
You?!
JAN-THE-SLY
Us! She will serve us!
(Unnamed and the Chorus rush on.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
We searched Sweet's Nook, Sly One, but she was nowhere
there to be- !
(The New One, startled by their entrance, hisses

fiercely at Unnamed the Chorus.)
(#16C) MEAT - SECOND REPRISE
THE NEW ONE

HHSSSSSSSS!!!
UNNAMED & CHORUS

Hwaa- ?!
(The New One sings...)
THE NEW ONE

MEAT...
MEAT! MEAT!
(...then races off.)
UNNAMED & CHORUS

(Frightened, but also impressed)
OOoooooo!!

9/30/19 - 95 - Act II, Scene 4
JAN-THE-WISE
The Beast has murdered the king!
UNNAMED & CHORUS

Huh?!
JAN-THE-SLY
The King tried to feed her, so she, you know, whatever,
struck him down!
JAN-THE-ELDER
SILENCE!!
ALL(But Elder)
[Gasp!]
(All gather around the prone, dying king.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Yes, let us be silent.
JAN-THE-SLY
While keeping in mind that it was Second’s daughter, and
neither me nor Wise, who actually murdered the king.
JAN-THE-ELDER
It’s all over, then. We sought to preserve food with our
Strictures. Now we are food.
(Begin vamp for "Doom! Love! Doom!" Famished &

Youngest enter unseen to witness the following.)
(#17) DOOM-LOVE-DOOM
JAN-THE-WISE
"Now we are food"?
JAN-THE-ELDER
Jellies. Alas. If only we had put the breaks on our
excesses a thousand years ago, things would be better now.
JAN-THE-WISE
We couldn't have known, Majesty.
JAN-THE-ELDER
Couldn't we have?
(He sings.)

9/30/19 - 96 - Act II, Scene 4
JAN-THE-ELDER
LOVE HAS UNDONE ME;
LOVE HAS DESTROYED ME.
YOU, WHO ARE LIVING,
MARK THIS WELL.
LOVE HAD COMPELLED ME;

NOW IT HAS FELLED ME.
THOUGH I AM GOING,
HEAR WHAT I TELL YOU:
TRY AS YOU MAY YOU CANNOT TURN FROM LOVE.

LOVE IS THE TEMPTRESS OF CREATION,
THE LOVELY DEADLY POWER,
THE BEAUTY, YET THE DOWNFALL OF YOUR BEING.
AND YOU, MY CHILDREN, WILL FEEL ITS DEADLY SPELL.
(All but Elder hum as Elder sings and steps out

of his gown/membrane and ascends to Heaven.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
THIS IS MY BODY.
THIS HAS AN ENDING,
YET HOW MY SPIRIT
STARTS TO RISE.
LOOK ON MY SPIRIT;
THINK OF THE LIFE
YOU NOW SHARE AMONG YOU.
LIFE THAT I BLESSED AND
HAPPILY GAVE YOU.
DOOM IS THE OUTCOME!
DOOM IS THE LOVE-CHILD!
DOOM ALL AROUND YOU!
DOOM NOW HAS FOUND YOU!
ALL
DOOM! LOVE! DOOM!
(Elder disappears.)
JAN-THE-WISE
So ends the reign of the first of our kind.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
And so begins a new period, by necessity headed by a new
sovereign.

9/30/19 - 97 - Act II, Scene 4
JAN-THE-WISE
The Beast is out there somewhere. And there’s still the
business of your brother.
JAN-THE-SLY
Murder him, I so order it. Murder all who might thwart me.
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
“Murder all”?!
(All turn, shocked to discover Famished and

Youngest have been listening in.)
JAN-THE-WISE
You there! What business have you here?!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Sweet was right! Away, then, child! Back to the Fatty
Cellars, there’s little time to lose!
(Famished and Youngest race off.)
JAN-THE-WISE
"Sweet was right"?!
JAN-THE-SLY
Plotting with those two, by the sounds of it.
JAN-THE-WISE
Your brother is now technically King, Sly One! If word
gets out, all is lost!
JAN-THE-SLY
Word is getting out even as we speak!
JAN-THE-WISE
(To The Chorus)
After them, then! Murder all who obstruct us!
JAN-THE-SLY
(Also to The Chorus)
That’s right, do that! As your de facto queen, I so
command it!
JAN-THE-WISE
(Trying to lead)
Let’s go!!

9/30/19 - 98 - Act II, Scene 4
JAN-THE-SLY
That’s right! Go away! Except, um...
(Grabbing Unnamed)
You!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
[GASP!]
JAN-THE-SLY
With the stick!
(Sly takes Unnamed's stick from her, rendering

the blind oracle even more helpless.)
UNNAMED & THE CHORUS

[Gasp?!]
JAN-THE-SLY
You stay with me!
CHORUS-2
Mistress?!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Fear not, children! All is as it was meant to be!
JAN-THE-SLY
'Tisn't yet, but 'twill be! Now away with you, to your
individual goings-on!
(Wise charges off with his choral posse in tow.

Sly lingers a moment with Unnamed.)
JAN-THE-SLY
As for you and I, we shall after The Beast and co-opt her!
We shall co-opt everything!!
(They race off. Segue to...)

9/30/19 - 99 - Act II, Scene 5
ACT II
Scene 5
(The Fatty Cellars. Second still sits, still

bound. From off, we hear the approaching cries
of Famished and Youngest.)
JAN-THE-FAMISHED(O.S.)
The King has fallen!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST(O.S.)
He has fallen!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED(O.S.)
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST(O.S.)
He has fallen!
(Famished and Youngest race on.)
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
He has fallen!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
He was teetering on the edge! Now he has fallen, not onto
the right side of history, but onto the wrong side - - of
mortality!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
Forgive us, Second Jan, the news is not good!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
We went to your father’s chambers to plead your case! Too
late! Others had pleaded their case beforehand, an
argument that ended in butchery!
My father is dead?
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
And at the hands of Wise and Sly, apparently!
Murderous.

9/30/19 - 100 - Act II, Scene 5
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Oh, they’re murderous all right. They wish to murder more,
murder you!
And Sweet? Was she among the plotters?
FAMISHED & YOUNGEST

Sweet?!
(Famished, disgusted, slaps Second hard across

the face.)
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Have you really no idea what Sweet has done on your account?!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
I am but a baby, but even I understand.
(Youngest, outraged, slaps Second so repeatedly

that Famished has to pull her son off Second.)
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
'Twas Sly who ordered me scope Sweet's nook! 'Twas Sly who
ordered me steal your muck!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
That I might live!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
But there will be no living for anyone if Wise and Sly have
their way! We have enabled them! We have enabled
everything!!
What have I done?
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Wise approaches with his Choral Guard even as we speak! He
comes to deliver you the POP, then visit some
unspeakableness upon your beloved!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
We were wrong to serve Sly and Wise! But how right it
feels to try to serve you now!
(They kneel.)

9/30/19 - 101 - Act II, Scene 5
FAMISHED & YOUNGEST

Your majesty!
And so you shall. Stand, the both of you!
(They do so)
Now, rise!
FAMISHED & YOUNGEST

Rise?!
We three are a poor match for Wise and his bunch! But with
more beasts by our side, it is he who will be outmatched!
FAMISHED & YOUNGEST

Huh?!
Rise to the surface, eat muck, and give birth to an army of
New Ones!
FAMISHED & YOUNGEST

An “army”?!
Yes, an army of New Ones to stand by my side! Do you reach me?!
FAMISHED & YOUNGEST

We do!
Now, go!
(Begin vamp for “Look At What Love Made Me Do.”

Famished and Youngest start to exit.)
(#18) LOOK AT WHAT LOVE MADE ME DO
Wait! The chains!
FAMISHED & YOUNGEST

Right!
(Famished and Youngest work on unlocking or

breaking the chains while Second sings.)

9/30/19 - 102 - Act II, Scene 5
JAN-THE-SECOND
I WAS BORN A PRINCE,
THE FIRST BORN OF MY FATHER.
I SOUGHT HIS APPROVAL IN ALL THAT I DID.
NOW I'M ON THE LAM.

COULD THIS BE WHO I REALLY AM?
I'M GOING 'ROUND IN CIRCLES AND I'M FLIPPING MY LID.
LOOK AT WHAT LOVE MADE ME DO!

LOOK AT THE CLOUD I'M UNDER!
HAS IT ALL BEEN A BLUNDER,
OR WORTHY OF FOLLOW THROUGH?
LOOK AT WHAT LOVE MADE ME DO.
(Famished and Youngest free Second then race off

in one direction, Second in another. Wise and
The Chorus race on.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Too late!
CHORUS-1
Freed!
CHORUS-3
But by whom?!
CHORUS-4
(Seeing them off in the distance)
Look there! It’s Famished and Youngest!
JAN-THE-WISE
(To Chorus 1, 2, & 3)
You three, after them!
(To Chorus 4, 5, & 6)
The rest of you, seek out Second and rub him out! I myself
shall find Sweet and do with her the dirty deed I have for
too long delayed!
(The Chorus races off in all directions.)
JAN-THE-WISE
I WAS KNOWN AS WISE,
A TRUSTED ROYAL COUNSELOR,
EVEN-KEELED AND PRUDENT, I ALWAYS KEPT COOL.

9/30/19 - 103 - Act II, Scene 5
NOW I'M FULL OF LUST,
MY MEMBRANES ARE ABOUT TO BUST!
I'M FULLY IN COMMAND AND YET I'M FEELING THE FOOL.

LOOK AT MY SHAKY CILIA!
CROSS ME AND I MIGHT KILL YA!
NOW DEATH IS MY NEW WORLD-VIEW.
(Wise exits. Elsewhere, Famished & Youngest

enter, chased by Chorus-1, 2, & 3.)
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
Quickly, mother! They're gaining on us!
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Swim on, child! I shall divert them elsewhere!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
But mother- !
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
I said go!
(Youngest rises.)
CHORUS-1(O.S.)
There they are! After them!
(Famished races off, pursued by Chorus-1, 2, & 3.

Sweet lets them pass, then emerges from the
shadows to sing to us.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
LOVE IS A PRIMAL POWER!
LOVE IS A THUNDER SHOWER!
LOVE IS A LORD AND MASTER,
LEADING US TO SURE DISASTER!
(Second enters, now in the house.)
LOVE IS A TIDAL TWISTER!
LOVE IS A COSMIC BLISTER!
LOVE IS A KIND OF MADNESS
THRIVING IN A WORLD OF BADNESS!

9/30/19 - 104 - Act II, Scene 5
(Somehow sensing Second, Sweet sings to him.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
(Somehow sensing Sweet, Second sings to her.)
SWEET & SECOND

I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
(Wise appears on the throne and sings to Sweet.)
SWEET, SECOND, & WISE

I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
(Famished appears and sings to Youngest, who

sings to Famished while rising to the surface.)
SWEET, SECOND, WISE, YOUNGEST, & FAMISHED

I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
(Sly & Unnamed appear in one spot, Chorus-1, 2, &

3 in another, and Chorus-4, 5, & 6 in yet
another. All sing to each other.)
ALL(Except The New One)

I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
(All but Sly and Unnamed race off. Then, seeing

The New One, Sly cries out.)
JAN-THE-SLY
There she is! After her!
(Sly races off with Unnamed in tow. The Chorus

appears and narrates as The New One enters.)

9/30/19 - 105 - Act II, Scene 5
CHORUS-1, 2, & 3
SEE THE NEW ONE
ALL ALONE,
AND SEE HOW FIERCE
THE NEW ONE’S GROWN!
(Youngest appears elsewhere, now floating on the

surface.)
CHORUS-4, 5, & 6
AND SEE THE YOUNG ONE
NEAR THE LIGHT.
HE’S EATING MUCK
WITH ALL HIS MIGHT!
(Wise, Famished, Second, and Sweet appear

elsewhere as Sly, with Unnamed in tow, races on
stage and approaches The New One.)
WISE CHORUS
NOW SEE THE BEAST, SEE
APPROACHED BY SLY! WHAT
FAMISHED
WHILE YOUNGEST MAKES MORE LOVE
BEASTS ON HIGH! MAKES
SWEET CHORUS/WISE/FAM.
BUT WHERE IS SECOND? ALL
SECOND
WHERE IS SWEET? OF
SECOND & SWEET

WITHOUT HER/HIM I US
FEEL INCOMPLETE! DO!
(Sly holds Unnamed as The New One creeps closer.)
JAN-THE-SLY
They say you are a seer, Unnamed One. What do you see now?
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
(Somehow seeing into the future)
I see - - joining, Sly One! I see the many becoming one!
JAN-THE-SLY
“Joining”, indeed! Your meat and The Beast’s belly!

9/30/19 - 106 - Act II, Scene 5
(Sly rips open Unnamed’s membrane.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Aieee!
(Unnamed collapses.)
JAN-THE-SLY
I WAS OVERLOOKED,
DENIED MY TRUE INHERITANCE,
THIRD IN LINE FOR POWER, UNLIKELY TO RULE.
(Sly offers Unnamed’s materials to The New One,

who sings, then eats.)
THE NEW ONE

MEAT...
MEAT! MEAT!
JAN-THE-SLY
NOW I'M ON A ROLL
TO STEAL THE CROWN AND GAIN CONTROL!
THE TAMING OF THESE NEW ONES IS MY ULTIMATE TOOL!
(All look on as Sly feeds Unnamed’s materials to

The New One.)
ALL(Except Sly, Unnamed, and The New One)

LOOK AT WHAT LOVE MAKES US DO,
FREE OF ALL CALCULATION,
THREATENING OUR YEAST NATION
WITH PASSIONS THAT BURN TOO TRUE!
LOOK AT WHAT LOVE--
MAKES US-
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Jelly! All of my- !
(Unnamed dies.)
ALL(Except Sly, Unnamed, and The New One)

DO!
(The New One, learning fast, pushes Sly out of

the way to eat on her own. Blackout.)

9/30/19 - 107 - Act II, Scene 6
ACT II
Scene 6
(The Grand Hall. A figure is seated on the

throne. Sweet enters and kneels.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
It is I, Majesty, Jan-the-Sweet. I come to beg for the
life of Jan-the-Second-Oldest.
JAN-THE-WISE
(Standing to reveal his identity)
Beg you may, but not for him.
JAN-THE-SWEET
(Staggering back, aghast)
Jan-the-Wise!
JAN-THE-WISE
Indeed!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Where is the King?!
JAN-THE-WISE
He stands before you. I am he.
JAN-THE-SWEET
You murdered him!
JAN-THE-WISE
Your lover's daughter did him in, not me! And so now I
must deal with you!
JAN-THE-SWEET
You lie! That beast is but a baby!
(#18A) MEAT - THIRD REPRISE
JAN-THE-WISE
A murder-baby!
(From far off in the distance, but still audible,

we hear The New One sing, and Chorus-1 cry out.)
THE NEW ONE(O.S)

MEAT...

9/30/19 - 108 - Act II, Scene 6
CHORUS-1(O.S.)
Aiieee!!
THE NEW ONE(O.S)

MEAT!
MEAT!
CHORUS-1(O.S.)
My jelly! All of my- !
JAN-THE-WISE
And that baby is on the slaughter, it would seem.
JAN-THE-SWEET
If Elder is dead, then Second is King!
JAN-THE-WISE
Second is dead! I hope! And besides, the crown belongs to
he who is most powerful! And that he is me - once I join
with you!
(Vamp for "Life Goes On" begins.)
(#19) LIFE GOES ON
JAN-THE-SWEET
"Join" with me?!
JAN-THE-WISE
The moment of our union is upon us, sweet yeast! What was
figurative must now become literal!
(He sings.)
JAN-THE-WISE
I HAVE A NOTION TO RESCUE OUR RACE.
I HAVE A WAY FOR OUR KIND TO KEEP PACE.
I KNOW THE METHOD, THE TIME AND THE PLACE -
IT’S HERE, AND NOW!
LET US COMMINGLE IN ONE GREAT, BIG CELL!

BILLIONS OF YEASTS INTO MY YEASTLY SHELL!
WHEN I’M A SUPERYEAST ALL WILL BE WELL!
IT’S TIME TO ACT,
NOT BE ATTACKED!
IF WE SHOULD DELAY, THE NEW ONE WILL HAVE SNACKED!

9/30/19 - 109 - Act II, Scene 6
LIFE GOES ON
IF WE MINGLE CELLS!
LIFE GOES ON!
NO MORE SINGLE CELLS!
NO YEAST WILL STOP ME,

NO NEW ONE WILL POP ME,
AND LIFE GOES- !
(From not quite as far, we hear several New Ones

sing, and Chorus-3 & 4 cry out.)
NEW ONES(O.S)
MEAT...
CHORUS-3(O.S.)
My jelly!
NEW ONES(O.S)
MEAT!
MEAT!
CHORUS-4(O.S.)
My jellies!!
JAN-THE-WISE
The Murder-Baby approaches!
JAN-THE-SWEET
(Putting it together)
But if you- ?! And they- ?! My God, she IS a Murder-Baby!
JAN-THE-WISE
So, let's see...Joining...
(Wise somehow begins fusing/"joining" with Sweet

so as to become one being. Second races on.)
JAN-THE-SECOND
Stand away, mad beast! Stand away, or you'll be sorry you
didn't stand away!
WISE & SWEET

Jan-the-Second-Oldest!
(Second tears Sweet away from Wise and sings.)

9/30/19 - 110 - Act II, Scene 6
SWEET ONE, FORGIVE ME FOR DOUBTING YOUR TALE!
I KNOW THE TRUTH, NOW, IN EVERY DETAIL!
WISE KILLED MY FATHER, HE'LL KILL WITHOUT FAIL
TO GET HIS WAY!
JAN-THE-WISE
Oh, I’ll get my way!
JAN-THE-SWEET
SECOND, YOU'VE SAVED ME, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE!
WISE TALKS OF "JOINING", HE'S CRAZY, I FEAR!
JAN-THE-WISE
I DID NOT KILL ELDER! JAN-THE-SWEET
THERE HE'S SINCERE!
I WANTED TO!
YOUR DAUGHTER’S WHO
IS KILLING ALL THE YEASTS!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE!
SECOND & SWEET

LIFE GOES ON,
IF YOU FIGHT WITH ME!
SECOND & SWEET

LIFE GOES ON!
JAN-THE-SWEET
SO TAKE FLIGHT WITH ME!
JAN-THE-WISE
I WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
THEN WE'LL UPSET YOU, SO
ALL
LIFE GOES ON!
JAN-THE-WISE
You'll upset me?! I'll upset YOU! Like so!

9/30/19 - 111 - Act II, Scene 6
(Wise and Second throw some fatties at each other

as they trade barbs.)
Aiieee!
JAN-THE-WISE
Feel the sting, damn you! Feel the sting of their impact!
We’ll both know the sting, if need be! You more than me,
I’m hoping!
(We hear even more New Ones hunting their prey,

now closer than before.)
NEW-ONES(O.S.)
MEAT! MEAT!
MEAT! MEAT!
(Having been caught, Chorus-2, 5, & 6 scream.)
CHORUS-2, 5, & 6(O.S.)

Aieee!!
(Hearing this, Sweet sings, appealing to Second

as he fights.)
YOU’RE ON FIRE,
I’M ON FIRE,
AND YOU’RE BLINDED BY THE
LIGHT!
KILLING WISE WILL MAKE IT
ALRIGHT!
IT’S QUITE DIRE -
I’M ON FIRE!
‘CAUSE SHE’LL EAT US UP
TONIGHT!
CAN’T BE TALKIN’, NOW,
JUST GOT TO FIGHT!
JAN-THE-SWEET JAN-THE-WISE
YOU’VE GONE MAD!
HE’S GONE MAD!
‘CAUSE YOU’VE CLEARLY LOST
CONTROL!

9/30/19 - 112 - Act II, Scene 6
ALL
OF YOUR/HIS/MY BURNIN’ SOUL!
(Now even closer, and in greater number, The New

Ones sing and Chorus-2, 5, & 6 call out.)
NEW ONES(O.S.)
MEAT! MEAT!
CHORUS-5(O.S.)
My jelly!
NEW ONES(O.S.)
MEAT! MEAT!
CHORUS-6(O.S.)
My jelly!
NEW ONES(O.S.)
MEAT! MEAT!
CHORUS-2(O.S.)
Even my jellies!!
NEW ONES(O.S.)
(Now quite close to us)
MEAT...
MEAT! MEAT!
MEAT! MEAT!
(Hearing this, Wise and Second fight harder.)
SECOND & WISE

LIFE GOES ON!
JAN-THE-SWEET
LET’S GET GOING!
JAN-THE-WISE
THOUGH YOU’RE GALLING ME!
SECOND & WISE

LIFE GOES ON!
JAN-THE-SWEET
STOP YOUR THROWING!

9/30/19 - 113 - Act II, Scene 6
JAN-THE-SECOND-OLDEST (To Sweet)

NO USE STALLING ME!
JAN-THE-WISE
YOU, YOU’RE UNTEACHABLE!
ME, I’M UNBREACHABLE!
SECOND, WISE & SWEET

LIFE GOES –
(Wise signals for a time out, then throws sand in

Second’s face, temporarily blinding him.)
SECOND WISE SWEET NEW ONES(O.S)

LIFE GOES ON! LIFE GOES ON! LIFE GOES ON! MEAT! MEAT!
NOW WE MEAT! MEAT!
NO RE- ! MUST RUN! MEAT! MEAT!
-VERSING IT! MEAT! MEAT!
LIFE GOES ON! LIFE GOES ON! LIFE GOES ON! MEAT! MEAT!
FROM THE MEAT! MEAT!
NO USE NEW ONE! MEAT! MEAT!
CURSING IT! MEAT! MEAT!
JAN-THE-SECOND-OLDEST NEW ONES(O.S.)

SEE THE MEAT! MEAT!
ENORMITY MEAT! MEAT!
OF YOUR MEAT! MEAT!
DEFORMITY! MEAT! MEAT!
JAN-THE-WISE NEW ONES(O.S.)

YOU WERE THE MEAT! MEAT!
SALTIEST MEAT! MEAT!
NOW YOU’RE THE MEAT! MEAT!
FAULTIEST! MEAT! MEAT!
SECOND, WISE & SWEET NEW ONES(O.S.)

YOU’RE SO COM- MEAT! MEAT!
PETITIVE, MEAT! MEAT!
YOU NEED A MEAT! MEAT!
SEDATIVE! MEAT! MEAT!
LIFE MEAT! MEAT!
GOES MEAT! MEAT!
ON!
(Wise hurls Second to the floor, besting him.)

9/30/19 - 114 - Act II, Scene 6
JAN-THE-WISE
Now to finish the job.
(Sweet grabs her own membrane, threatening

suicide.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Do so and you murder me.
SECOND & WISE

Sweet One?!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Murder Second and I’ll burst myself open. Then who will
you commingle with?!
(Sly enters.)
JAN-THE-SLY
Murder him anyway! I so order it.

[Gasp!]
Sister?!
JAN-THE-SLY
NOW POP HIM OPEN!!
JAN-THE-WISE
Not if it means losing Sweet.
JAN-THE-SLY
There are other yeasts to mingle with, Wise One, if mingle
you must.
JAN-THE-WISE
And yet, it must be with her. Love must dominate the core.
JAN-THE-SWEET
Love?
JAN-THE-WISE
How could I spend eternity nestled in the center of the
world’s first multi-cellular organism with anyone but her?

9/30/19 - 115 - Act II, Scene 6
JAN-THE-SLY
Fine! If you won’t do your duty, I’ll leave it to my
niece! New One!
(The New One enters, hugely pregnant.)

[Gasp!]
JAN-THE-SLY
You belong to me now, due to my gift of materials! Murder
my brother, your father! I so order it!
THE NEW ONE

Meat you gave me, but not enough, I'm afraid.
JAN-THE-SLY
Slay my brother and you may have his "meat".
(The New One stalks Sly.)
THE NEW ONE

And slay I will.
JAN-THE-SLY
Great. Wait a minute, what are you doing? Slay him, not
me!
(#19A) MEAT - FOURTH REPRISE
JAN-THE-SLY(Cont'd.)
I'm the Queen! I'm basically the- !
(The New One sings, then rips Sly open.)
THE NEW ONE

MEAT...
JAN-THE-SLY
Aaiiee!
THE NEW ONE

MEAT! MEAT!
(Sly collapses. The Chorus enters, now

transformed into New Ones.)

9/30/19 - 116 - Act II, Scene 6

[Gasp!]
JAN-THE-WISE
Dear God, look at them all!
My army!
JAN-THE-WISE
Your what?!
My army of New Ones! I commanded Famished and Youngest to
rise to the surface, eat muck, and give birth to an army of
New Ones to stand by my- !
JAN-THE-WISE
(With profound irritation)
ALL RIGHT!! Okay, I got it!
THE NEW ONE

Come, cousins! The feast is on!
(The New Ones devour Sly.)
JAN-THE-SLY
But it was my idea to give you jelly!! Now you’re eating
my jelly?!! It’s happening so quickly! My rule! My
reign! MY JELLY!!
(Sly dies. Wise, Second, and Sweet look on,

horrified, as the New Ones feast.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Our only hope was to reverse time by reversing procreation!
What are the chances of accomplishing that now?!
(The New Ones seize Wise.)
THE NEW ONE

Now for a taste of wisdom!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Wait! Don’t let her destroy him. The murdering must end
somewhere, let it end here.

9/30/19 - 117 - Act II, Scene 6
Spare him, daughter, if only to please my beloved.
THE NEW ONE

Spare him? Him good - - to eat!
(The New Ones share an evil laugh.)
I am your king, and you will obey me!
THE NEW ONE

You may be a king, father, but not over the likes of us!
Enough talk!
(#19B) MEAT - FIFTH REPRISE
THE NEW ONE(Cont'd.)

Our kingdom commences - like so!
(The New Ones sing, then rip Wise open.)
THE NEW ONES

MEAT...
JAN-THE-WISE
Aieeee!!!!
THE NEW ONES

MEAT! MEAT!
(The New Ones ravage Wise.)
JAN-THE-WISE
Jellies! Jam - - bo-reeee.....
(Wise dies, the New Ones eat.)
What have I done?! Do you mean to butcher us all?!
(Unnamed, still blind, and Chorus-2, still a

servant child, enter - but now as new ones.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
‘Tis their nature, Second Jan.

9/30/19 - 118 - Act II, Scene 6
SECOND & SWEET

[Gasp!]
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Their appetites know no bounds just as your appetites knew
no bounds. They will feast as you feasted, until the
billion billions who yet float beyond the comfy confines of
these immediate surroundings are no more.
But - - if they eat us all they will destroy themselves!
CHORUS-1
Indeed.
CHORUS-3
We are not so unlike you, you see.
CHORUS-4
And the creatures who come after us?
CHORUS-5
They will be not so unlike you as well.
THE NEW ONE

But enough talk! A few more bites, mistress, and I might
yet bring forth the creature that grows within me!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Ah, yes! She has a creature growing within her just as
you, Second Jan, once had a creature growing within you!
THE NEW ONE

Fitting that you might be the morsel to expunge your
grandchild.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
You and/or the Sweet One.
THE NEW ONE

So let us bite, cousins! Let the story of life continue!
(The New Ones hum ominously and stalk Second and

Sweet, circling closer and closer.)
(#19C) OMINOUS HUMMING

9/30/19 - 119 - Act II, Scene 6
JAN-THE-SWEET
I guess this is it!
Wise was right! These creatures really are a danger to us
all!
JAN-THE-SWEET
“Wise was right”?!
We thought the muck released the best in me when, in truth,
it released our doom!
(From off, we hear a tone, or perhaps a "Big

Bang" style explosion indicating that Sweet has
just had an important revelation.)
JAN-THE-SWEET
Wise WAS right!
Maybe they’ll gobble us together! At least then our souls
will be joined in Heaven! If indeed there is a heaven!
(Vamp for “The World Won’t Wait” begins. Second

and the New Ones move in slow motion as Sweet,
thinking it through, crosses in regular time to
confer with Unnamed.)
(#20) THE WORLD WON'T WAIT
JAN-THE-SWEET
Wise spoke of “joining,” not in Heaven, but here on Earth!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Wise spoke of many things!
JAN-THE-SWEET
Something about mingling our membranes as protection
against the beasts!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
I told you you’re no dope!
(Sweet sings, eventually crossing back to the

still slow motion Second to “join” with him.)

9/30/19 - 120 - Act II, Scene 6
JAN-THE-SWEET
THE WORLD THAT WE KNEW IS FADING FAST,
FOR TIME KEEPS ON MARCHING AHEAD.
THE LOVE THAT WE HAD WILL NEVER LAST,
AND IF WE DON’T CHANGE OUR WAYS, WE’LL BE DEAD.
BUT I KNOW HOW TO MOVE BEYOND THE PAST,
AND FIND NEW LIFE INSTEAD.
BABY, COME CLOSE TO ME!

BABE, WE’RE GONNA SEIZE THE DAY!
YEAH, BABY, GET CLOSE TO ME!
I’LL SHOW YOU HOW TO JOIN IN A BRAND NEW WAY!
THE WORLD WON’T WAIT, SO HOLD ME TIGHT,

AND WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS NIGHT OF DOOM!
THE WORLD WON’T WAIT! YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.

SO COME ON, BABY, LET ME IN
AND WON’T YOU MAKE ME SOME ROOM?
FEEL THE HEAT

WHEN OUR BODIES COMBINE,
BUT QUICK BEFORE IT’S NOT TOO LATE!
BECOME ONE WITH ME, BABY, NOW,
BECAUSE THE WORLD WON’T WAIT!
(Second and Sweet become one. All snap back to

real time. The New Ones stumble back.)
CHORUS-1
Dear God, they have become - - multi-cellular!
CHORUS-3
We can no longer penetrate the barrier!
THE NEW ONE

Let us leave this freakish colossus, then! And let us
feast on the billion billions! Let us do as we please for
as long as circumstances allow!
(The New Ones race off; Unnamed and Chorus-2

linger. Famished & Youngest race on.)
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
MY BOY, YOU HAVE GOT TO SAVE YOURSELF
AND GRAB ANY CHANCE TO SURVIVE.
SO DON’T FOOL AROUND - - BEHAVE YOURSELF,
AND KEEP YOUR FOCUS ON STAYING ALIVE!

9/30/19 - 121 - Act II, Scene 6
(The New Ones re-enter and move in on Famished as

Second & Sweet call to Youngest.)
SECOND & SWEET

AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO BE SO BRAVE YOURSELF,
JUST GET HIP TO OUR JIVE:
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
YOUNGEST, GO JOIN WITH THEM!
SECOND & SWEET

AND YOU’LL MAKE US STRONGER STILL.
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
MY CHILD, GO JOIN WITH THEM!
YOU LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER! DON’T BE A PILL!
(The New Ones sing and pounce on Famished)
THE NEW ONES

MEAT...
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
Aieeee!!!
THE NEW ONES

MEAT! MEAT!
(The New Ones Feast as Youngest joins with Second

and Sweet.)
SECOND & SWEET

THE WORLD WON’T WAIT
FOR TINY CELLS
TO GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER AND UNITE.
THE NEW ONES

THE WORLD WON’T WAIT
FOR WHINY CELLS
TO STOP THEIR MOANING AND COMPLAINING WHEN IT’S HIGH TIME
TO FIGHT!
JAN-THE-YOUNGEST
THANK YOU, MOTHER, FOR ALL YOUR ADVICE!
FOR NOW I CAN CONTROL MY FATE!

9/30/19 - 122 - Act II, Scene 6
JAN-THE-FAMISHED
SEE NOW, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
MOTHERS KNOW THE WORLD WON’T- !
(Spoken)
My jelly! All of my- !
(Famished dies. As Elder Sings, the New Ones

race off and Wise, Sly & Famished rise to join
Elder in Heaven.)
JAN-THE-ELDER
JOIN ME NOW,
HERE IN THE REALM OF THE DEAD.
'TIS HERE I RULE ONCE AGAIN.
YOU'LL BE THE FIRST OF THE SOULS
TO JOIN ME HERE IN MY REALM.
GOD KNOWS YOU WILL NOT BE THE LAST,
NOT IN THE LEAST.
(The dead turn to sing to us, the audience.)
ELDER, SLY, WISE & FAMISHED

YOU, THERE!
YOU'LL COME TO US IN GOOD TIME.
YES, WE WILL HAVE QUITE A TIME!
TIME WE WILL BE HAVING - -
IN TIME!
(Unnamed and Chorus-2 turn to us.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
And so ended the great society of salt eating yeasts, first
creatures to roam-
CHORUS-2
So to speak.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
The Earth.
(The original New One enters, now in labor.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
But ‘twas from this humble beginning that life began to
proliferate, first into New Ones, then into multicellular
organisms - - like that one over there - - and then into, I
don’t know, dinosaurs or something.

9/30/19 - 123 - Act II, Scene 6
(The Multicellular Organism stalks the New One.)
JAN-THE-UNNAMED(Cont'd.)
A ceaseless succession of species rose, then fell, blooming
triumphantly, then collapsing into dust, but not before
playing their own particular parts in the story of life.
(The Multicellular Organism “eats” the New One.)
THE NEW ONE

Aieee! My jelly! All of my- !
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
It has been quite a project, this evolution of life, a
progression that has led to you, Man, new lords of the
Earth.
(The Multicellular Organism, with its New One

core, gives birth to a human baby. All ululate.)
CHORUS-2
Just so you know, Mistress, what you’re suggesting has
absolutely NO BASIS in science!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Child, by the time the Creatures-Yet-To-Come hear our tale,
they will have known their science for decades and still
they will have refused to change. So, if science can’t
save them, perhaps a piece of bio-historical musical
theater can!
(All sing.)
CHORUS-1
THE BEASTS OF THE WORLD, THEY RISE AND FALL.
THEY EAT TILL THEIR EATING IS DONE.
CHORUS 3 & 5
THE BEAST NEVER THINKS ABOUT IT ALL.
HE SIMPLY LIKES TO EAT FOOD AND HAVE FUN.
CHORUS
FROM THE TIME HE BEGINS HE CANNOT STALL
UNTIL HIS RACE IS RUN.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
CHILDREN, COME CLOSE TO ME.
HEAR A TALE BOTH SAD AND TRUE.

9/30/19 - 124 - Act II, Scene 6
JAN-THE-UNNAMED(Cont'd.)
OH, CHILDREN, GET CLOSE TO ME.
AND CREATURES-YET-TO-COME, YOU SHOULD HEAR THIS, TOO.
ALL
THE WORLD WON’T WAIT, SO BE PREPARED
TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES THAT COME DUE.
THE WORLD WON’T WAIT. BE VERY SCARED.
BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED TO THE YEASTS’LL ONE DAY HAPPEN TO
YOU.
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
GET A GRIP ON THE HARM YOU HAVE DONE,
AND WAKE UP FROM YOUR BLINDED STATE.
ALL
FOR IN TIME YOU WILL SEE QUITE CLEARLY
THAT THE WORLD WON’T WAIT!
JAN-THE-UNNAMED
Break it down, now!
ALL
WORLD WON’T WAIT!
WORLD WON’T WAIT!...
(All sing “World won’t wait!” under the

following.)
JAN-THE-WISE
DO YOU HEAR THE SONG
OF THE BEGINNING OF TIME?
IT’S A SONG WE’VE BEEN SINGING FOR YOU.
SECOND & SWEET

LIFE HAS GONE ALL WRONG
SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME!
BUT YOUR FATE RESTS WITH WHAT YOU ALL DO.
(Singers free-form over the group “World won’t

wait!”s, eventually to be anchored by...)
WOMEN MEN
GET A GRIP ON THE HARM
YOU HAVE DONE, AND WAKE GET A GRIP ON THE HARM
UP FROM YOUR BLINDED STATE YOU HAVE DONE, AND WAKE
UP FROM YOUR BLINDED STATE!

9/30/19 - 125 - Act II, Scene 6
ALL
IT’S THE END OF OUR SHOW!
BY NOW YOU KNOW THE WORLD WON’T
WAIT!
THE WORLD WON’T WAIT!
END

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YEAST NATION

(the triumph of life)

Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann

Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann

The bottom of the primordial sea

CHARACTERS (Note: Jan is pronounced “Yahn”)

JAN-THE-UNNAMED.............. Chorus Leader, blind seer,

JAN-THE-ELDER................ First creature to swim the

JAN-THE-WISE................. First counselor to the King,

JAN-THE-SECOND-OLDEST........ The King’s son, first in line

JAN-THE-SWEET................ A sweet soul, daughter of

JAN-THE-SLY.................. The King’s daughter, second in

JAN-THE-FAMISHED............. A hungry soul, mother of

JAN-THE-WRETCHED............. A wretched soul, father of

JAN-THE-YOUNGEST............. Youngest of the yeasts, newly

THE NEW ONE.................. A new life form, daughter of

THE CHORUS................... Guards, attendants, citizens

CHORUS-2..................... Unnamed’s servant child

More New Ones................ More creatures altogether new

1. Hear the Song Unnamed & Company

11. You Don’t Know a Thing Unnamed & Company

All corresponding musical material is indicated in the

(The Primordial Soup. Darkness. A deep tone,

(#01) HEAR THE SONG

(Jan-the-Elder, a grim, ancient figure, becomes

(A Chorus oozes forth from the foggy blackness to

UNNAMED & CHORUS

ELDER & SECOND

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

ELDER, SECOND, UNNAMED & CHORUS

(The full company enters to sing.)

(Unnamed and Chorus address the audience.)

UNNAMED & CHORUS

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

(The company floats about, feasting on salts.)

JOIN THE YEASTS

(Unnamed and the Chorus warily step forward to

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

(All except Elder sing as Elder leads in Wise,

(#02) YOU ARE MY CHILDREN

JAN-THE-ELDER ALL(But Elder)

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

(Jan-the-Wise, first councilor to the king, reads

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

ALL(But Wise & Elder)

ALL(But Wise & Elder)

ALL(But Wise & Elder)

ALL(But Wise & Elder)

JAN-THE-ELDER ALL(But Elder)

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

JAN-THE-ELDER(Cont’d.) ALL(But Elder)(Cont’d.)

(Jan-the-Wretched, a destitute soul, is dragged

(Jan-the-Sly, Second’s sister, steps forward.)

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

ALL(But Wise, Elder, & Wretched)

ALL(But Wise, Elder, & Wretched)

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

(Jan-the-Sweet, a gentle soul, races on and kneels

(All sing on an "Ooo" as Sweet sings.)

(Elder considers Sweet's plea. Then)

JAN-THE-ELDER ALL(But Elder & Wretched)

© Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann 2019

JAN-THE-WRETCHED ALL(But Wretched)