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A7-Effective Writing Feedback and Grading

Student’s Name

Institutional Affiliation

Course

Instructor

Date
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A7-Effective Writing Feedback and Grading

Student Paper with Comments and Corrections

Running head: CULTURAL AND GENDER DIFFERENCES

Cultural and Gender Differences in Emotion

Anne Student

Abstract

This paper aims to discuss the concept of emotion as related to cultural and gender

differences.
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Cultural and Gender Differences in Emotion

Emotion

“Emotions are the cornerstones of our social worlds, affecting our interactions with

others in countless ways” (Soto, Levenson, and Ebling, 2005). The domain of emotion is

vast with many aspects to investigate and discover. Research suggests that there are basic

emotions of anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise and also more complex

emotions such as contempt, embarrassment, pride, and shame (Tracy & Robins, 2008). Two

areas of interest in the literature culture (e.g., Tsai, Levensen, & McCoy, 2006) and gender

(e.g., Hess, Adams, & Kleck, 2004).

Culture

Culture refers to socially shared and transmitted patterns of ideas (values, norms, and

beliefs) that are instantiated in everyday practices, institutions, and artifacts (Tsai, Levenson,

& McCoy, 2006). Culture may play an important role in emotional regulation and

expression. Of particular interest is the interplay between collectivistic and individualistic

societies and social expectations and customs.

Tsai, Louie, Chen, & Uchida (2007) explored cultural factors that influence idea

affect. There are many ways that individuals within a culture can be influenced or biased.

One such way is young children being influenced that certain emotions are more acceptable

or more desired than others. The study focused on the central themes of children’s

storybooks and the emotions connected with the themes whether calm or active. American

children tend to prefer books connective with activity whereas children from Western

cultures tend to prefer books with a calmer demeanor. According to Tsai et. al.,

“Individualistic cultures, such as American culture, encourage their members to

influence others (i.e., assert personal needs and change others’ behaviors to fit those
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needs) more than collectivistic cultures. In contrast, collectivistic cultures, such as

many East Asian cultures, encourage their members to adjust to others (i.e., suppress

personal needs to accommodate others’ needs) more than individualistic cultures.

Whereas influencing others initially requires immediate action (e.g., asking someone

to do something), adjusting to others initially requires suspended action (e.g., waiting

for others’ instructions). Immediate action involves increases in physiological arousal,

whereas suspended action involves decreases in physiological arousal” (p. 18)

This may explain the findings that American children connect happiness with activity while

East Asian children connect happiness with calm.

Continuing with the theme that different cultures express emotion differently is a

study by Soto, Levenson, & Ebling (2005) where they compared the emotional experiences

of Chinese Americans and Mexican Americans. It is believed that those in Chinese cultures

tend to moderate their emotions, while those in Mexican cultures tend to be more openly

expressive. Members of Chinese cultures “view emotions as dangerous, value emotional

moderation, and emphasize social harmony over individual expression” (Soto et. al., 2005, p.

154) and some believed that extreme emotions caused illness. Although Mexico is also

considered a collectivistic country, there are many emotional difference between the cultures.

In Mexico, relationships have high levels of affection and affect is more “openly accepted

and more highly valued” (Wikipedia, 2012). In fact, Murillo (1976, as cited in Soto et. al.,

2005) stated that in Mexican American culture, “It is through…an ability to experience, in

response to environment, emotional feelings and to express these to one another and share

them that one experience the greatest rewards and satisfactions in life” (p. 155). The

researchers results supported this notion. However, since the subjects live in America it

would be interesting to compare the results with participants living in China and Mexico.
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In a study by Tsai, Levenson, & McCoy (2006), the authors examined the degree to

which cultural and temperamental factors accounted for variation in emotional response

during an interpersonal task. They found that temperamental factors accounted for 0%-1% of

the variance while cultural factors accounted for 6%-7& of the total variance.

Gender

There are many theories as to the differences in emotion between males and females.

One theory is that of stereotypes. The stereotypical female has a more affiliative demeanor

and is more likely to show happiness while a stereotypical male tends to be more dominate

and more likely to show anger (Hess et. al., 2004). Women report more sadness, fear, shame,

and guilt, whereas men report more hostile emotions such as anger (Fischer, et. al, 2004).

Men and women also display emotion differently, as women smile more. It has been

suggested that lower social power is correlated with increased smiling. These stereotypic

expectations are in part a result of early socialization. For women, it is expected that they are

nurturers. They need the have an increased ability for interpersonal skills and non-verbal

communication. It is essential that they be able to sustain nurturing relationships; whereas

men are expected to have more goal-oriented displays (Hess et. al.).

Fischer, et. al. (2004) were interested in examining cross-cultural variability of gender

differences in emotion by analyzing these differences in countries with different gender roles.

More specifically they looked at whether women were reporting more powerless emotion and

men reporting more powerful emotions would continue across cultures considering the

variability in gender roles. Overall they found this emotional pattern to be accurate with

some interesting gender differences. Men from countries that have high male empowerment

rated their powerless emotions less intensely.

In a study by Hess et. al. (2004), the researchers looked at facial features, gender, and

emotional responses. They suggested that physicals facial features of men are disposed to
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dominance including a high forehead, square jaw, and thicker eyebrows. They looked at

three emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, and disgust and their results suggested that the

main indicator of emotional response to a face was that of facial appearance.

Conclusion

I found cultural and gender differences in the realm of emotion quite interesting.

Much of it makes sense in a commonsense kind of way. When we see a young boy showing

the stereotypical emotions of a girl, then he just doesn’t quite fit in with his peers and vise

versa. The emotional modeling by those around and the reinforcement of these stereotypes

begins when the individual is very young and becomes second nature.

The completed grading rubric for the paper

CATEGORY EXCELLENT GOOD FAIR POOR SCORE

Content Assignment Assignment Assignment Assignment 55

demonstrates an demonstrates demonstrates a fair demonstrates a

(70% of excellent a good understanding of the poor

possible understanding of understanding concepts and key understanding

points) all of the of most of the points as presented in of the concepts

concepts and key concepts and the text/s and and key points

points presented key points Learning Resources. of the text/s

in the text/s and presented in Assignment may be and Learning

Learning the text/s and lacking in detail and Resources.

Resources. Learning specificity and/or may Assignment is

Assignment Resources. not include sufficient missing detail

provides Assignment pertinent examples or and specificity

significant detail, includes provide sufficient and/or does not

including moderate evidence from the include any

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multiple relevant detail, readings. pertinent

examples, evidence examples or

evidence from from the (49%–55%) provide

the readings and readings, and sufficient

other sources, discerning evidence from

and discerning ideas. the readings.

ideas.

(56%–62%) (0–48%)

(63%–70%)

Writing Assignment is Assignment Assignment is Assignment is 23

well organized, is mostly somewhat below well below

(30% of uses scholarly consistent graduate-level writing graduate-level

possible tone, follows with style, with multiple writing style

points) APA style, uses graduate- smaller or a few major expectations

original writing level writing problems. Assignment for

and proper style. may be lacking in organization,

paraphrasing, Assignment organization, scholarly tone,

contains very few may have scholarly tone, APA APA style, and

or no writing some small or style, and/or contain writing, or it

and/or spelling infrequent many writing and/or relies

errors, and is organization, spelling errors; or it excessively on

fully consistent scholarly shows moderate quoting.

with graduate- tone, or APA- reliance on quoting vs. Assignment

level writing style issues; original writing and may contain

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style. and/or it may paraphrasing. few or no

Assignment contain a few Assignment may quality

contains multiple writing and contain inferior resources.

appropriate and spelling resources (number or

exemplary errors, and/or quality). (0–20%)

sources somewhat

expected/required less than the (21%–23%)

for the expected

assignment. number of or

type of

(27%–30%) sources.

(24%–26%)

Instructor comments: 1. The student has a well-developed vocabulary, writes with depth and

insights and mostly expresses ideas clearly.

2. Student should work on improving the few grammar and punctuation errors.

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Total Score (100% of possible points): points

Problems Identified

Issues identified from the student’s paper include punctuation errors, grammatical

issues, conflicting APA 7 and APA 6 format, vague sentences, difficulties in the choice of

words, and a hasty abstract. The student mixed up both APA 7 and APA 6 writing formats.

For instance, the cover page is written in APA 6 format while the body is written in APA 7
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format. For consistency of this paper, the student should use APA 7 format where the cover

page does not include a running head but should include a page number and a title head,

which must be bold, centered, and written in title case.

The paper has many punctuation errors, which include the omission of commas before

prepositions such as with and conjunctions such as while. Additionally, the student repeatedly

fails to correctly punctuate the abbreviation (et al.) by always placing a period after (et.),

which is wrong (Scales, 2018). Grammatical issues are also noted in the paper. For instance,

subject-verb agreement errors which make sentences confusing to read and understand.

Another grammatical issue that was identified is wrong word usage and wordy sentences,

which demonstrates a somewhat below graduate-level writing.

Vague sentences that do not have a clear meaning are also noted in the paper. For

instance, the sentence “Tsai, Louie, Chen, & Uchida (2007) explored cultural factors that

influence idea affect.” is not explicitly expressed to give a clear understanding of what the

student is communicating. Lastly, the abstract is too short and hasty. The student has simply

paraphrased the title of the paper in sixteen words. An abstract should be a short paragraph of

at least six sentences that explain the primary purpose of the paper.

Strategies for Improving Grammatical Errors

Grammar can sometimes be confusing and complex for some students, but it is crucial

and important that all students get to flawlessly use correct grammar both verbally and in

writing. There are several simple strategies that students can use to refine their grammar.

They include regular reading, having a grammar manual for referencing, for example, a

dictionary, proofreading and regular writing.

Regular reading and writing is one of the most effective strategy that has a 100%

efficacy in writing grammatically correct sentences with scanty errors. When students

normalize a reading habit, they reinforce accurate grammar and phrases in their minds. When
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reading, students can also solidify their fluency by reading out the words making them both

exceptional writers and distinguishable speakers (Singh, Singh, Razak, & Ravinthar, 2017).

Additionally, students enrich their vocabulary, making it easy for them to avoid wrong word

usage, wordy sentences and repetition of words common words and phrases.

Another effective student self-assessment strategy is unfolding a proofreading culture

whereby students re-read their written work to identify their grammatical mistakes. Usually,

our brain is faster than our hands, and therefore when writing, the mind perceives that one has

written all words in a sentence, but then one or two words could be missing or misspelled. It

is, therefore, a good practice for students to review their work to correct misspelled words,

fill out missing words, rephrase words and refine their points. When proofreading, a student

can speak out the words to increase the chances of identifying grammatical errors. Therefore,

it is important to note that correct grammar benefits both the writer and the reader. Readers

comprehend useful information from well-written publications and articles. Getting rid of

grammatical errors rewards readers with credible work that is well structured and with

coherent information.

The efficiency of Feedback on Student-Self Efficacy

Feedback to students is a salient part of the student assessment in the learning process.

It is a powerful tool and moderator that enhances a student’s progress. The main objective of

giving feedback in writing is to motivate students to improve their writing skills, which

include fluency and clarity (Kourgiantakis, Sewell, & Bogo, 2019). Specific objectives

include justifying to students that their work was reviewed, graded and delivered on time,

rewarding student work with the right grade, using comments to guide learners on what areas

to improve on and nurturing a student self-evaluation culture to monitor and review their

work.
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Highlighted comments on the student paper point out the major areas where the

student has a weakness. The comments set out hints which the student will use to enhance the

work. Therefore, the feedback will help the students to rethink and reflect on their work

hence improving their writing skills. Further, the feedback will help the students narrow

down and work on specific areas of improvement. For instance, this particular student needs

to polish grammar errors and punctuation errors only. In the process of self-evaluation,

students will gain satisfaction from their work because the approach is student-centered.

Additionally, students acquire an understanding of their own reading, writing and learning

methods hence guiding learners to adjust their learning techniques.

Feedback will `promote communication between the teacher and students hence

facilitating the learning process. Consequently, the teacher-student dialogue will as well give

the teacher insight on the students' needs enabling the teachers to adjust their teaching

methodologies to accommodate the needs of all students. Primarily, student feedback is

crucial and greatly encourages students to continuously manage and improve their skills.

Feedback is helpful when received on time, acknowledged and acted upon.

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References

Kourgiantakis, T., Sewell, K. M., & Bogo, M. (2019). The importance of feedback in

preparing social work students for field education. Clinical Social Work

Journal, 47(1), 124-133.

Scales, J. (2018). LibGuides: Writing and APA Citation Resources: APA 7th.

Singh, C. K. S., Singh, A. K. J., Razak, N. Q. A., & Ravinthar, T. (2017). Grammar errors

made by ESL tertiary students in writing. English Language Teaching, 10(5), 16-27.