WRITING

E12
WRITING PORTFOLIO

PORTFOLIO
TRAN NGOC LINHTRANG, 11A7
TABLE OF CONTENT.

WRITING PORTFOLIO

ENTRY 1 - 1 ENTRY 2 - 5
Draft 1 - 2 Draft 1 - 6
Draft 2 - 3 Draft 2 - 7
Draft 3 - 4 Draft 3 - 8

001 002

SELF-REFLECTION
ENTRY 3 - 9 13
Draft 1 - 10
Draft 2 - 11
Draft 3 - 12

003 004
 OPINION
ENTRY ESSAY
1
Topic: Write an essay of 300 words on the following topic:

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should
live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful
in preparing younger generations for modern life.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

ENTRY—— 1—— ENTRY—— 1

 DRAFT 1
The previous generations possess a conventional mindset of the way people live,
think and behave, which are widely deemed not practical enough for younger
generations to get conversant with modern life. Although I agree with the con-
viction, I think that their view of life can still be applied in some situations.

On the one hand, since modern life requires more flexibility and versatility of
world view, old-school thinking of the past generations might be too nar-
row-minded and conservative. With the advent of technology, state-of-the-art
gadgets are indispensable and prove to be beneficial for one’s academic success
while parents and grandparents develop an aversion to digitalization. This could
prevent offspring from approaching newly updated knowledge and the children
may lack the skill set related to the digital world.

On the other hand, former generations can still help the latter ones with their
life lessons absorbed in the past. (lack transition words)Our prior generations
have gone through hardships and those with communication manners and
etiquette are their strengths. Table manners and interpersonal skills are an inte-
gral skillset of today’s society.
=> lack ideas and explanations

In brief, although the views of older people may sometimes seem unsuitable in
modern times, we should not discard all traditional values as irrelevant.

CHECKED BY Tri Hai, Duy Minh:

-Made a claim/thesis on the topic, supported it with reasons, and provided a
variety of evidence for each reason
-Lead to a claim/thesis, giving readers information about what was significant
about the topic
-Connected back to and highlighted what the text was mainly about
-Give reasons to support opinions that were parallel and not overlap

2
 DRAFT 2
2
DRAFT 2

The previous generations possess a conventional mindset about the way people
live, think and behave, which is widely deemed not practical enough for younger genera-
tions to get conversant with modern life. Although I do not agree with the conviction, I
think that their views of life are still applicable in some situations and should not be
forgotten.

On the one hand, since modern life requires more flexibility and versatility of world
view, the old-school thinking of the past generations might be too narrow-minded and
conservative. For instance, with the advent of technology, state-of-the-art gadgets are
indispensable and have proven to be an intricate part of one’s academic success. Mean-
while, some parents and grandparents develop an aversion to digital technologies and
ban their offspring from using the devices until they reach "maturity" for fear of addic-
tion. Locking offspring away in a tech-free tower until they are adults is rather count-
er-productive. This could hamper their ability to approach recently updated knowledge
and the children may lack the skill set related to the digital world.

On the other hand, former generations can still help the latter ones with their tradition-
al views and life lessons absorbed in the past. For example, the elderly deem communi-
cation skills the key to our interconnected world. In this era, young adults can expect to
come into contact with people from all walks of life, and it is ever more important to
equip yourself with proper interpersonal skills. As our ancestors have gone through all
hardships in life and are the masters of communication etiquette, they can impart to us
their lived experiences. I firmly believe that we can form more resilient and better-pre-
pared societies if younger people can balance tradition and modernity.

In brief, although the views of older people may sometimes seem unsuitable in modern
times, we should not deem all traditional values irrelevant.

3
 DRAFT 3

The previous generations possess a conventional mindset about the way

people live, think and behave, which is widely deemed not practical enough for
younger generations to get conversant with modern life. Although I do not agree
with the conviction, I think that their views of life are still applicable in some
situations and should not be forgotten.

On the one hand, since modern life requires more flexibility and versatility of
world view, the old-school thinking of the past generations might be too nar-
row-minded and conservative. For instance, with the advent of technology,
state-of-the-art gadgets are indispensable and have proven to be an intricate part
of one’s academic success. Meanwhile, some parents and grandparents develop
an aversion to digital technologies and ban their offspring from using the devic-
es until they reach "maturity" for fear of addiction. Locking offspring away in a
tech-free tower until they are adults is rather counter-productive. This could
hamper their ability to approach recently updated knowledge and the children
may lack the skill set related to the digital world.

On the other hand, former generations can still help the latter ones with their
traditional views and life lessons absorbed in the past. For example, the elderly
deem communication skills the key to our interconnected world. In this era,
young adults can expect to come into contact with people from all walks of life,
and it is ever more important to equip yourself with proper interpersonal skills.
As our ancestors have gone through all hardships in life and are the masters of
communication etiquette, they can impart to us their lived experiences. I firmly
believe that we can form more resilient and better-prepared societies if younger
people can balance tradition and modernity.

In brief, although the views of older people may sometimes seem unsuitable in
modern times, we should not deem all traditional values irrelevant.

4
 expository
ENTRY Essay
2
Topic: Write an essay of 300 words on the following topic:
Explain one social issue that largely prevails in your country.

ENTRY—— 2—— ENTRY—— 2

 DRAFT 1
Today, Viet Nam is one of the most prosperous countries in the world, and now
has a window of opportunity to leverage past successes and climb the develop-
ment ladder. However, reforms in terms of mental health are necessary and the
need for action is mounting. This essay presents Viet Nam’s constraints to devel-
opment and provides a strategic outlook to form more resilient and better-pre-
pared societies.

The omnipresent situation is that Vietnamese high school and undergraduate

students had a low level of mental health literacy. UNICEF study revealed that
approximately 13 percent of adolescents aged 10 to 19 suffer some forms of
mental disorder. Mental illness in Vietnam is one of the top three contributors
to years lost in the workforce due to illness, and this is detrimental to adoles-
cents and children since it can affect their future careers and the people who
come after them. Furthermore, according to one recent survey conducted by the
Faculty of Psychology and Education Da Nang, most students held negative
judgements about the patients and misunderstood the mental illness. The
students reported that they were likely to be with those in need; however, they
were unlikely to try their best to support the patients. Having acknowledged the
situation in Vietnamese adolescents, in today's virtual, hybrid, or in-person
classrooms, mental health and social-emotional learning curiculum is more
important than ever. It is suggested that schools must also cooperate to raise
awareness and take care of people's mental wellbeing. 6
Despite the fact that the prevalence of neurological and mental illnesses has
risen dramatically in Vietnam, current mental health treatments do not satisfy
public demand. The most significant barriers are the limited availability of and
accessibility to health professionals and services in rural areas. According to one
research in 2016, 200,000 people struggle with severe mental illnesses in a
country that lacks a proper treatment model. And it was found that only 20-30
percent of the patients receive treatment and usually with medication rather than
psychological therapy. => lack evidence, too short compared to the 1st para

To recaptulate concisely, the concern in terms of mental health still exists that
seemingly obstruct Vietnam's development. Fortunately, there is a ray of hope to
create an integrated, transparent, and sustainable economy.

CHECKED BY: Hai Anh, Duy Minh

Lead to a claim/thesis, giving readers information about what was significant
about the topic
Made a claim/thesis on the topic, supported it with reasons and provided a
variety of evidence for each reason
 DRAFT 2
Today, Viet Nam is one of the most prosperous countries in the world, and now
has a window of opportunity to leverage past successes and climb the develop-
ment ladder. However, reforms in terms of mental health (paraphrase) are neces-
sary and the need for action is mounting. This essay presents Viet Nam’s con-
straints (elaborate) to development and provides a strategic outlook to form
more resilient and better-prepared societies.

The omnipresent situation is that Vietnamese high school and undergraduate

students had a low level of mental health literacy ((elaborate)). UNICEF study
revealed that approximately 13 percent of adolescents aged 10 to 19 suffer some
forms of mental disorder. Mental illness in Vietnam is one of the top three
contributors to years lost in the workforce due to illness, and this is detrimental
to adolescents and children since it can affect their future careers and the people
who come after them. Furthermore, according to one recent survey conducted
by the Faculty of Psychology and Education Da Nang, most students held
negative judgements about the patients and misunderstood the mental illness.
The students reported that they were likely to be with those in need; however,
they were unlikely to try their best to support the patients. Having acknowl-
edged the situation in Vietnamese adolescents, in today's virtual, hybrid, or
in-person classrooms, mental health and social-emotional learning curriculum is
more important than ever. It is suggested that schools must also cooperate to 7
raise awareness and take care of people's mental wellbeing.

Despite the fact that the prevalence of neurological and mental illnesses has
risen dramatically in Vietnam, current mental health treatments do not satisfy
public demand. The most significant barriers are the limited availability of and
accessibility to health professionals and services in rural areas. According to one
research in 2016, 200,000 people struggle with severe mental illnesses in a
country that lacks a proper treatment model. And it was found that only 20-30
percent of the patients receive treatment and usually with medication rather than
psychological therapy. This situation is a breeding ground for further severe
problems such as substance abuse, as well as interpersonal, family, and social
deficits, inappropriate incarceration, and reduced life expectancy. Hence, the
authorities should introduce new models of mental health treatment to mitigate
the severity.

To recapitulate concisely, the concern in terms of mental health still exists that
seemingly obstruct Vietnam's development. Fortunately, there is a ray of hope to
create an integrated, transparent, and sustainable economy.
 DRAFT 3
Today, Viet Nam is one of the most prosperous countries in the world, and now has a
window of opportunity to leverage past successes and climb the development ladder.
However, amendments in terms of mental health are necessary and the need for
action is mounting. This essay presents Viet Nam’s barriers to mental health care and
provides a strategic outlook to form more resilient and better-prepared societies.

The omnipresent situation is that Vietnamese high school and undergraduate students
had a low level of mental health literacy. According to Jorm et al (Reference Jorm,
Korten and Jacomb1997), the term ‘mental health literacy’ is defined as knowledge
and beliefs about mental disorders which aid their recognition, management or
prevention. UNICEF study revealed that approximately 13 percent of adolescents
aged 10 to 19 suffer some forms of mental disorder such as depression, bipolar
disorder and autism. Mental illness in Vietnam is one of the top three contributors to
years lost in the workforce due to illness, and this is detrimental to adolescents and
children since it can affect their future careers and the people who come after them.
Furthermore, according to one recent survey conducted by the Faculty of Psychology
and Education Da Nang, most students held negative judgements about the patients
and misunderstood the mental illness. Stigmatizing attitudes that were endorsed by a
8
majority of students included believing that people with mental illness cannot have
regular jobs (60.2%), that people with mental illness are dangerous (65.7%), and that
they would not marry someone with a mental illness (88.9%). Additionally, 33.6%
of students indicated they would be ashamed to mention if someone in their family
or they themself, had a mental illness. Having acknowledged the situation in Viet-
namese adolescents, in today's virtual, hybrid, or in-person classrooms, mental health
and social-emotional learning curriculum is more important than ever. It is suggested
that schools must also cooperate to raise awareness and take care of people's mental
wellbeing.

Despite the fact that the prevalence of neurological and mental illnesses has risen
dramatically in Vietnam, current mental health treatments do not satisfy public
demand. The most significant barriers are the limited availability of and accessibility
to health professionals and services in rural areas. According to one research in 2016,
200,000 people struggle with severe mental illnesses in a country that lacks a proper
treatment model. Moreover, it was found that only 20-30 percent of the patients
receive treatment and usually with medication rather than psychological therapy. This
situation is a breeding ground for further severe problems such as substance abuse, as
well as interpersonal, family, and social deficits, inappropriate incarceration, and
reduced life expectancy. Hence, the authorities should introduce new models of
mental health treatment to mitigate the severity.

To recapitulate concisely, the concern in terms of mental health still exists that seem-
ingly obstruct Vietnam's development. Fortunately, there is a ray of hope to create an
integrated, transparent, and sustainable economy.
 argumentative
ENTRY Essay
3
Topic: Write an essay of 300 words on the following topic:

Some people believe that it is a good idea for parents to put constant pressure on their
kids to do well. Others think otherwise, claiming that such pressure from parents is
detrimental to their children’s development. What is your opinion of this matter?

9
 DRAFT 1
While many parents believe that mounting pressure on children is a necessity to fetch
their kids' success, others claim the opposite. I agree with the latter that such pressure
does more harm than good and further might obstruct their children’s overall develop-
ment.
-Clear thesis

Forcing kids into a cut-throat competition of parents stems from their old-schooled
mindset that getting into high-stakes schools is the only way to future success. In
Japan, for example, children are forced to attend “cram schools,” where they spend
many hours beyond the rigorous school curriculum supplementing their studies and
preparing for entrance exams. Besides academic competitions, kids have to indulge
themselves in non-academic nature as to follow their parents’ conventional mindset.
Parents also feel a sense of satisfaction when their child excels in various areas, and
they frequently correlate it with their social status, which adds to the compulsion.
Hence, the underlying reasons behind parents exerting pressure on children are seem-
ingly irrational and selfish.

Turning to the positive side of this trend, children have an increased chance of future
success. When it comes to the good aspects of this trend, the higher success rate
stands out. When a child is placed under more strain, he is more likely to embrace
success. This also strengthens a student's determination on his 'path to success.' To be
more specific, when a student is forced to cut down on entertainment activities in
order to focus on his academics, in one way it helps him to abstain from distractions.

On the other hand, parental pressure can be at the root of childhood depression. This
is what might happen with children unable to cope with the unreasonably high
demands set by parents. The worst-case scenario for a student is excessive stress, which
disrupts a child's natural psychological development and leads to poor academic
performance. Another downside is that children are subject to emotional maldjust-
ment, which can cause difficulties in interactions with their parents. => spelling

To recapitulate concisely, today’s world is obsessed with the desire to succeed. In my

point of view, overpressurization to satisfy the desire rather counteracts as it might
drive children into mental illness and creates a communication barrier between family
members.

CHECKED BY Bao Trung, Dang Son

10
 DRAFT 2

While many parents believe that mounting pressure on children is a necessity to fetch
their kids' success, others claim the opposite. I agree with the latter that such pressure
does more harm than good and further might obstruct their children’s overall develop-
ment.

Forcing kids into a cut-throat competition of parents stems from their old-schooled
mindset that getting into high-stakes schools is the only way to future success. In
Japan, for example, children are forced to attend “cram schools,” where they spend
many hours beyond the rigorous school curriculum supplementing their studies and
preparing for entrance exams. Besides academic competitions, kids have to indulge
themselves in non-academic nature as to follow their parents’ conventional mindset.
Parents also feel a sense of satisfaction when their child excels in various areas, and
they frequently correlate it with their social status, which adds to the compulsion.
Hence, the underlying reasons behind parents exerting pressure on children are seem-
ingly irrational and selfish.

Turning to the positive side of this trend, children have an increased chance of future
success. When it comes to the good aspects of this trend, the higher success rate
stands out. When a child is placed under more strain, he is more likely to embrace
success. This also strengthens a student's determination on his 'path to success.' To be
more specific, when a student is forced to cut down on entertainment activities in
order to focus on his academics, in one way it helps him to abstain from distractions.
=> (abstain from distractions => strengthen students' determination)

On the other hand, parental pressure can be at the root of childhood depression. This
is what might happen with children unable to cope with the unreasonably high
demands set by parents. The worst-case scenario for a student is excessive stress, which
disrupts a child's natural psychological development and leads to poor academic
performance. Another downside is that children are subject to emotional maladjust-
ment, which can cause difficulties in interactions with their parents.

To recapitulate concisely, today’s world is obsessed with the desire to succeed. In my

point of view, overpressurization to satisfy the desire rather counteracts as it might
drive children into mental illness and creates a communication barrier between family
members.

11
 DRAFT 3

While many parents believe that mounting pressure on children is a necessity for
better performance at school others claim the opposite. I agree with the latter that
such pressure does more harm than good and further might obstruct their children’s
overall development.

Putting children in a competitive environment might increase the chances of their

future success. When a child is placed under more strain, he is more likely to embrace
success. To be more specific, when a student is forced to cut down on entertainment
activities in order to focus on his academics, in one way it helps him to abstain from
distractions. This, therefore, strengthens a student's determination on his 'path to
success.'

Turning to the negative side of this trend, forcing kids into a cut-throat competition
stems from parents' old-schooled mindset that getting into high-stakes schools is the
only way to future success. In Japan, for example, children are forced to attend “cram
schools,” where they spend many hours beyond the rigorous school curriculum supple-
menting their studies and preparing for entrance exams. Besides academic competi-
tions, kids have to indulge themselves in non-academic environments so as to follow
their parents’ conventional mindset. Hence, the underlying reasons behind parents
exerting pressure on children are seemingly irrational and selfish. Furthermore, paren-
tal pressure can be at the root of childhood depression. The pressure parents put on
children counteracts when they become unable to cope with the unreasonably high
demands set by parents. The worst-case scenario for a student is excessive stress, which
disrupts a child's natural psychological development and leads to poor academic
performance. Another downside is that children are subject to emotional maladjust-
ment, which can cause difficulties in interactions with their parents.

To recapitulate concisely, today’s world is obsessed with the desire to succeed. In my

point of view, overpressurization on children does more harm than good as it might
drive children into mental illness and creates a communication barrier between family
members.

12
 self-reflection

I've always thought of myself as a natural communicator. I seemed to have a natural

ability to properly communicate my ideas and feelings through words and expressions.
Nevertheless, it wasn't until my school's writing course pushed my thoughts and
sentiments about writing to the breaking point that I realized how lacking my
academic writing skills were.

For me, figuring out the best approach to organize my time was a major challenge.
Procrastination has always been a part of my personality. I used to put off doing my
schoolwork until the last minute. My emotions generally control my day-to-day
activities. However, after the first entry, which required little/no preparation and a
significant amount of research time, I recognized I'd have to change my mindset and
approach to assignments. I wasn't able to totally overcome my procrastinating habit
from secondary school, but I did get some much-needed time management skills as a
result of the course. I now do my homework and accomplish critical deadlines ahead
of time, and I schedule them with such a clear mind.I felt I could master all forms of
creative expression essays at first... until I started writing the drafts. Not only did I
improve my academic writing skills, but I also learned how to conduct research using
various methods. It was difficult to go beyond the three essays that depict social
issues. My inability to write smoothly is due to a lack of foundational information.
This writing lesson taught me that learning has no bounds and that I should read
more articles and materials to have a better comprehension of the world.

I've mastered how to study each one to discover perfection in my written words, and
I've perfected how to express a complex activity precisely. By expanding my horizons
of expression, I was able to gain greater freedom in my writing. It's tough to put into
words all of the changes this class has made to my work. But, throughout the course
of our three months together, I improved my writing skills. Not only do my words
have more scholarly expressions, but my knowledge and awareness have expanded into
a realm I never imagined imaginable.
I now have a solid foundation and a rich writing arsenal for future endeavors, as well
as an incentive to read articles on a daily basis and be fully prepared with time-man-
agement skills, thanks to my practice writing various types of essays and investigating
other sources.

13

self-reflection