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THE HORSE BROTHERS

Written by Stephen Shoemaker

The stage is dark. A spotlight begins swirling around. A

SHOWGIRL walks on in a sexy magician’s outfit (that was her
idea.)

SHOWGIRL
And now…what you’ve all been
waiting for…the Horse Brothers!

The HORSE BROTHERS trot out in a two person horse costume

led in by SHOWGIRL. STEVE is the head, and EASTON is the
rear.

STEVE
How’s everyone doing tonight?

S
(Doesn’t wait for audience
response.) Ok now for the jokes.

He holds up joke cards in front of him.

STEVE
SM
Which animal makes the best pet?
(Pause.) A cat because he’s
purrr-fect. (Flips to the next
card.) Why is a library so tall?

EASTON is heard slurping, SHOE backs his ass into EASTON

some more.

Because it has so many stories.

EASTON
(Muffled eating.) Mmmm.

STEVE
Alright here’s another one for ya.
How do celebrities stay cool?

EASTON
(Muffled.) Oh man this tastes sooo
good.

STEVE
They have many fans.

EASTON
I love eating my brother’s ass.
 2
STEVE
What do you call a fake noodle.

EASTON
Bon-ass-e-tite.

STEVE
An impasta.

EASTON
And now for dessert (EASTON eats
ass more aggressively.)

STEVE
What did Baby Corn say to Mama
Corn?

EASTON
Yummy yummy in my tum-

S
STEVE farts really loudly. EASTON starts gagging.

STEVE
Where’s Pop Corn!
SM
EASTON pulls away from the horse costume gasping for air.

STEVE
Brother…BROTHER NO-

He decks STEVE and knocks him out.

STEVE falls on his face, with his ass sticking in the air.
He’s wearing the little kid pajama bottoms with an ass flap
open.

EASTON
That’s it! The Horse Brother’s are
over. We’re never performing
again.

EASTON walks off, STEVE remains unconscious.

END.