Be A Modern Master

Initiation & The Sutras

Ego Problems With Initiation

Every initiatory level brings with it a higher level of responsibility. From that moment on,
you are to become even more “in service,” and you receive broader powers so you can do
your part in this time of world crisis. With the increased power comes the temptation to go
into ego, so you’re constantly fighting to stay humble as you are given more and more
power.

This can be very difficult. After all, initiations are a big ego boost. It's like Spirit is saying, “I
am well pleased with you.” Isn’t that what you’re really secretly craving: the ultimate
approval that you once tried to get from your parents? It's like the voice coming from
heaven after Jesus is baptized: "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

This cause two big problems with ego: the first is wanting an initiation too much. The more
you want one, the farther away it seems to go. If you want an initiation for the wrong
reasons— like to boost your status or to feel spiritually higher than others—I guarantee
you’ll never have one. Initiation simply won’t happen. The only time I’ve ever had them is
when I’ve completely forgotten about myself and just been in full service. Then, wham,
another one comes out of the blue.

The second problem concerns losing an initiation. Scary as that thought is, it's true. And
once an initiation is lost, it's much, much harder to regain. My experience is that you will be
given three tests in the weeks or months after an initiation. If you fail all three tests, Spirit
takes away your new awareness.

I saw it happen to one of my most gifted spiritual teachers. He was hands down one of the
most clairvoyant people I’d ever worked with. One day, he took a big initiation, and after
that, he found he could conduct healing energy. This new power became a real big ego
problem. Before the end of the year, he had totally lost not only his new healing ability, but
also his clairvoyance. He never got back either gift. What a humbling experience!

I’ll tell you my own embarrassing initiation story. I had been working for about four years
with a shaman as his apprentice. While I was home for the summer, I had a major initiation
with all the bells and whistles, with the assistance of a guy back in my home town.
 Be A Modern Master
Initiation & The Sutras

Ego Problems With Initiation

I was secretly sorry it had happened during summer vacation; I would have rather it had
happened when I was with the shaman and in front of the other apprentices. Talk about
having a problem with pride—mine was huge!

When I came back to my apprenticeship after summer vacation, I stupidly bragged to my

fellow apprentices all about my big initiation.

Several days later, the head shaman came back and, of course, saw my big ego, like I had
a giant sign on my forehead. He promptly took me out of the healing room and demoted
me to work in the kitchen for a full year. Very very humbling.

But thanks to the shaman’s quick action, I didn’t lose the initiation. While I had failed the
first test that spirit had sent me, to keep my mouth shut about my initiation, the subsequent
tests I saw coming and I stayed humble.

We will revisit this topic in our next chapter when we talk about the levels of initiation.

Now back to the sutras, which are in themselves an initiatory experience.