"Perfect. Thank you, princess.

" Deena teases as they begin to climb out of the car, Sam doing a
little playful curtsy as Deena laughs.
"You're welcome!" Sam waves her off, disappearing into the store as Deena pops open her gas
cap to begin filling the tank.
Almost two minutes.
That’s all the peace Deena gets, Deena in her bright, sunshine filled daydream of a trip that was
about to unfold. She didn’t think they’d be disrupted so early, that fate would be so cruel as to
throw out a last ditch effort to spiral Deena deeper into the grave she kept trying to claw out
from. Two minutes, barely even two when the rev of a motorcycle begins to draw close, pulling
up to the spot right behind Deena’s car.
Now, Deena would have ignored it. She would have never even bat an eye until she hears a
string of curses from a voice that was still so fresh from her memory. With her hand flush on the
pump, Deena shakily peeks over her shoulder at the man cursing to himself as he filled up his
own tank. When she gets a good look at him, bandages and all, Deena’s heart stops. It stops just
as her world does, frozen on axis like she was frozen to the ground.
“Hey, hey kid.” He says to her, Deena’s eyes wide and glued to the floor until she feels a hand
on her shoulder and she flinches.
“You’re leaking.” Is all he says, voice low and flat, just as it was last night. Deena is trembling,
looking up at him before whipping down to the pump in her hand that she was still pressing,
gasoline spilling from the hole as she abruptly yanks it out.
“You best get that cleaned up unless you want to set yourself on fire.” He comments, walking
back to his motorcycle with the bandages aside his head still fresh with blood.
Deena hurriedly screws on her gas cap, locking her car doors as she bolts inside the store to find
Sam. Deena’s heart is in her ears, beating like a timebomb ticking to explosion. She’s going
down the isles, sneakers squeaking against the poorly polished floor until she finds Sam by the
row of coolers, holding a Jell-O cup with a bright smile on her face as a basket of snacks and
drinks hung from her forearm.
"They have Jell-O cups! Fuck yes." Sam mumbles to herself as Deena practically runs up to her,
looking pale as ghost as Sam holds up the cup almost as if to show Deena proudly.
"Sam, we gotta go." Is all Deena says, completely ignoring Sam’s little moment of victory but
Sam was too invested in the snacks to notice the utter panic lingering in Deena’s tone.
"Just give me a minute." Sam casually coos, tossing about two of the Jell-O cups into the basket
as Deena places a very shaky hand on the small of her back.
"No, Sam we really have to go." Deena reiterates, this time not bothering to hide the worry in her
voice as Sam finally looks back at her, furrowed brows and all.
"What? Why?"
"I'll tell you in the car, okay?" There’s a desperation in Deena’s tone that leaves Sam no choice
but to comply without question, her hand never leaving Sam’s back even up until they get to the
counter to pay for their stuff.
Foot tapping anxiously against the floor, Sam is trying her hardest to stay calm as well but that
was pretty hard when Deena was right next to her looking about as restless as a prisoner on death
row. The moment all of their things are bagged, Deena slaps down a fifty dollar bill for the food
and the gas, leaving with a hurried thank you, Sam only giving her the strangest looks when
Deena practically pushes her to the door.
Sam gets out first, but Deena, who was holding their bag of snacks bumps right into the very
man she was trying so hard to get Sam away from. She didn’t care for herself at all, she only
cared that Sam wouldn’t be put in danger, especially not because of her. Deena doesn’t even
meet his eyes, she just mutters a quick apology before stepping around him and heading to the
car where Sam stood, watching intently.
"Hey." He calls out for her, just a few steps until she reaches the blonde. She wires her eyes shut
and takes a breath, turning around to put on the most nonchalant face she could muster.
"Yeah?"
"Dropped this." He holds out a packet of candy, one that must have tumbled out of Deena’s bag.
"Thanks." Deena takes a reluctant step closer, barely able to hold eye contact as she takes the
candy from his calloused, burly hands.
"Do I know you?" He asks, eyes never leaving her face as Deena’s heart drops.
"I don't think so." Deena quickly responds, turning on her heel to walk away once more until
she’s stopped by his voice.
"You uh... go to the high school here?" He calls out to her, Deena peering over her shoulder as
the man keeps his gaze so chillingly steady. Deena isn’t breathing, not a single gasp of air as she
spoke.
"Why?" She questions, ears ringing as she gripped the bag for dear life. She was already thinking
of what to do if the already fragile situation went south, how to get Sam away, that was all she
cared about.
"Know anyone named Paul?" He asks, and just like that— Deena breathes.
"No, sorry."
So she rushes towards Sam, unlocking the doors and putting the bag in the backseat as she starts
the car and drives off so quick, she was sure her tires left marks on the concrete. They had to cut
through Sunnyvale, if Deena kept going in that direction but she really didn’t care for it anymore.
She just kept driving; hands so tightly wound around the wheel that her knuckles whitened. She
was going well above the speed limit, only ever slowing down once they pass the Shadyside
town marker, going over the division that led to Sunnyvale.
"Who was that?" Sam finally breaks the thick silence, her heart just as restless as Deena’s while
she waited for her girlfriend to answer.
"The guy that wanted to shoot me." Deena replies almost emptily, staring blankly ahead as she
drove.
"Fuck, seriously?" Sam exclaims, whipping around to look back as Shadyside continued to get
farther and farther.
"Yeah. I had a mask on so he probably didn't recognize me." Is all Deena offers, then everything
just mellows out in her head. It almost feels like she’s plunged underwater, every sound around
her muffled, replaced by the same incessant ringing in her ears as she never dared break her eyes
away from the road.
"Deena." Sam tries, getting no response as her own frustration begins to build.
"Deena!" She says again, effectively snapping Deena out of her trance as she looks over at Sam.
"Sorry, yeah?"
"We need to start figuring this out." Sam says in somewhat of a frustrated plea, disappointment
swimming in her eyes as Deena deflates. She knew where that conversation would lead them,
and she really didn’t want to have it on a day that was meant to be good.
"Sam—"
"I know, okay? You're doing it for me and Kate but we can't just... let it go on. It's getting
serious." Sam cuts her off before she could push it under the rug, adamant on talking about it
especially when danger seems to keep inching closer.
"I can handle it, Sam. You gotta trust me." Deena says quietly, glancing at Sam who just wasn’t
satisfied with such a vague reply.
"It's not about trust, it's about ending this. Are you just going to let him string you along
forever?" Sam pushes, and Deena was trying really hard to hold onto her patience when the
lingering aftermath of her heart nearly ripping out of her chest still swam through her veins. She
wanted to forget, that was the whole purpose of leaving— of that trip but Sam wasn’t going to let
it go anytime soon.
“Deena—”
"Do you think i'm happy with this?" Deena cuts her off, her words coming out sharper than she
had intended as Sam shakes her head.
"I never said that." Sam replies just as coldly.
"You're talking like it's as easy as walking out my front door." Deena mumbles, the bitterness in
her tone spilling like a leak she couldn’t patch up as Sam looks at her incredulously.
"I don't see you trying to get out of it." Sam fires back without thinking, regretting her words
almost the exact moment it rolled off her tongue.
"Okay." Is all Deena says, glancing at her then back to the road without another word and Sam
deflates, slumping back into her seat as she drags a hand down her face.
"Deena, come on. I don't want to do this, I don't want to argue." Sam tries a little gentler, but
Deena only shakes her head.
"No, you said what you needed to say. I get it." Deena says flatly, hoping for Sam to let it go
before it gets worse, but Sam’s been keeping it to herself for long enough that another second
more would have broken her heart.
"I don't think you do."
"I get it, okay?" Deena snaps, but she wasn’t the only one standing on the edge of her limit. Sam
was right there with her, holding baggage Deena didn’t even seem to take the time to notice
because when you're drowning in the darkest sea, sometimes you miss that you might not be the
only one in the water.
"No, you don't because you're not the one sitting in your room wondering if your girlfriend is
going to see the light of day. You disappear into the night and come back to me telling me stories
of how you barely dodge these crazy situations like it's just part of your life now— like you've
accepted it." Sam doesn’t mean to, but she raises her voice. It comes out in one, deep breath like
a breaking dam that floods the cold air of Deena’s car.
"I didn't—"
"No, you didn't but it’s not going away and it sucks, okay? It sucks for me too. We just started
and i'm already wondering if i'm going to lose you. I don't want to, not when I think that we
might have finally gotten it right." Sam concludes, heaving as she buries her face in her hands
trying to stop herself from crying at the mere thought of it.
She had just learned to be braver, she wasn’t perfect but she wasn’t caged. Not like before, not
with her demons and her misery. She had just started to see the world, she just started to know
what it feels like to fall in love, to shed her masks, to be truly happy.
Deena makes her happy, Deena who broke off her locks and pulled her out of the dark, Deena
with her mixtapes and pretty smile and gentle touches that make Sam feel like she’s made of
magic when she had believed all her life she was nothing but hollow stone and she was not ready
to give it all up again.
She wasn’t ready to go back.
So with Sam holding in tears in her passenger seat Deena peeks her head out of the water enough
to see Sam was drowning too. She didn’t stop to think how it was affecting Sam, how she was
unknowingly hurting the girl she cared for most until Sam said it with her whole, breaking heart.
And Deena feels horrible, she’s beating herself up for missing the way her problems also
burdened Sam, so Deena does the only thing she can do. They’re just a few minutes out of
Sunnyvale, trees surrounding them as Deena pulls over to the side of the road to gently pry
Sam’s hands off of her face.
"You're not going to lose me." Deena quietly says, guilt and apology swimming in her eyes as
Sam looks back at her with just as much devastation.
"You can't promise me that while you're with him. You know you can't." She replies somberly,
Deena slipping her hands into Sam’s to intertwine their fingers.
"I'll find a way out, okay?" She offers, because she means it. Deena would blow up the sun if
Sam was too warm, she’d scoop up the oceans if Sam wanted the sea, she’d steal the stars and
move mountains and strike down anything that could ever hurt the girl she was falling for.
She’d do it all, just for Sam.
"You promise?" Sam mumbles softly, hope in her eyes as Deena nods, leaning in to connect their
lips for a kiss that promised Sam all the light to best her darkness.
"I'll always make it back to you, Sam." Deena whispers, resting their foreheads together as Sam
breathes out a small sigh of relief, relaxing in Deena’s grasp.
"Okay good because I really... like you." She smiles slightly, still traversing through her own
emotions with a little bit of reluctance that Deena completely understood. She felt the same way.
"I really like you too, princess."
When Simon arrives to school, hair damp and backpack slung over his shoulder there’s a
prominent crowd down one of the halls. He’s barely gotten a wink of sleep, pulling extra shifts
just to cover the time he lost during the storm, trying his best to make up enough to pay the bills
when he spots Kate in the crowd. With curiosity looming over his still exhausted head, he wades
through the abundance of murmuring students just to get to the girl who stood with her arms
crossed over her chest with furrowed brows.
"What's going on?" He nudges her, light enough for Kate to look at him in slight surprise.
"Apparently Bronson quit. His office is empty, everything is gone." She says, nodding over to
the principal’s office.
The door with his name on it was now empty, letters pried off leaving nothing but little stains of
the glue that held it there while the room was spotless, not a single sign of inhabitance in sight.
Simon’s jaw nearly drops to the floor as the whispers begin to get clearer, most if not all
containing Anna’s name in the mouths of the faceless crowd that slowly begins to dissipate as
the bell rings.
"Shit, really?" Simon turns to Kate right as Josh approaches, mumbling his little string of cheat
codes to himself as he comes to a stop in front of the two.
"Yeah. Kyle said he was arrested but can you really trust a guy who thinks the earth is flat?"
Kate scoffs, turning on her heel to head to her locker but stopping in her tracks when she nearly
crashes into Josh.
"Where's Deena? She's gonna love this." Simon beams, Josh getting wind of his words as he
takes it upon himself to answer.
"Oh, she left with Sam. She's not coming today." Josh informs them, both Kate and Simon
exchanging a strange look before turning back to the younger boy.
"Where'd they go?" Simon asks for the both of them, but Josh only shrugs.
"Didn't say. She just told me she wanted to get away."
It wasn’t exactly new for Deena to disappear. It began when her mom died, Deena steadily
popping in and out of school just when she felt like it. The first few times were worrying for
Kate, but after a while she just realized it was Deena’s way of coping. So they set up the spot by
the tracks, Kate roping Simon into her little scheme of giving Deena a place to run to, because at
least if Kate ever needed her she’d know where to look first. It was just a precaution, since
Deena always comes back anyway.
"They went on a trip without me?" Simon gasps, a hand on his heart as he shakes his head.
"Oh, uh— could you give me a ride home later?" Josh chuckles a little, clearing his throat as he
turns to Kate with a nervous smile.
It would have been the first time they’ve spoken properly since the incident at the witch hunt
after party, with Josh unintentionally revealing Deena’s secret and confessing his feelings. Kate
didn’t really know what to think of the latter, having been buried behind her week of rage and
self-doubt, it had never come to the forefront of her thoughts until Josh stood there, awkwardly
tapping his fingers against the side of his leg.
Kate was only glad he didn’t remember, or that he didn’t bring it up because if he had asked her
for some sort of answer, she’d come up short. She was already having a complicated time trying
to figure out how she felt for Sarah, and having Josh add to that was just something Kate wasn’t
ready for in the slightest.
She wasn’t ruling it out, though.
"Yeah, of course." Kate smiles, nodding as Josh subtly releases a relieved breath.
"Thanks." He says before bidding the two goodbye and walking away, leaving Kate and a very
overdramatic Simon standing in the hallway.
"We're losing her, Kate. They grow up so fast." Simon wipes a fake tear from his eye as Kate
shakes her head, walking away from the boy as quickly as she can while Simon struggles to
catch up.
"It's too early for this."
While Kate is running from an overeager Simon, Sam and Deena have well past Sunnyvale and
have somehow made their way to the part of the state that seemed to only inhabit fields, farms,
small counties and the occasional roadside truck stop. If they were lucky, they’d even see some
livestock roaming around which Sam didn’t miss a beat in pointing out. Deena thought it
adorable, smiling to herself every time Sam abruptly screams at her to ‘look at the cow’.
Deena has been down that road before, having driven to the part of the state that was brighter,
bigger, where the sun shined and the grass was greener but it had never felt that way. Never the
way she felt with Sam by her side, windows down with the wind wisping through the car
muffling the sound of Deena’s mix playing on the stereo. Deena doesn’t think she’s ever felt
happier, with nothing in sight for miles but the most beautiful girl she has ever seen right next to
her.

Sam was halfway through her last Jell-O cup when they spot it, a little row of shops at the side of
the road. The most prominent one, though, was the big souvenir shop with the hanging sign of a
cowboy hat. Deena thinks it was so cliché but Sam on the other hand, was too intrigued to just let
it pass them by.
"It is worth stopping for!" Sam argues when Deena refuses to stop for it, hell bent on getting her
way as Deena shakes her head.
"It’s a souvenir shop in the middle of nowhere."
"It's also a tree farm!" Sam doesn’t miss a beat in presenting her case, motioning out the window
to the shop that was steadily getting closer.
"We're not buying a Christmas tree." Deena coos, trying to keep a stern face even when she
wanted nothing more than to laugh at Sam’s persistence.
"Then let me at least get something!" Sam crosses her arms over her chest, eyes burning through
Deena who eventually gives in, slowing the car down to a stop in front of the big wooden shop,
right next to a few pick-up trucks and motorcycles.
"Jesus— fine. We'll go in." She huffs and Sam immediately leans over to place a quick kiss on
her cheek before climbing out of the car, Deena shaking her head as she trails after her buzzing
girlfriend.
A resounding bell rings the moment they walk in, Sam pulling her by the hand as her jaw drops
at the sight. For what it looked like outside, the interior sure wasn’t what they’d expect. The
walls were plastered with different little trinkets, from hand carved wooden statues, to beaded
necklaces, to an array of hats that personally, Deena thought belonged in an incinerator with how
hideous they were.
There were racks of shirts with printed illustrations of cows and even more unbearable cowboy
hats, stands filled with postcards, notebooks and even snacks. The walls were a deep, varnished
brown, the kind that reminded Deena of those Saloons from old movies about the Midwest. She
wouldn’t be surprised if they sold guns there too but just as unimpressed as Deena was, Sam was
quite the opposite.
She was amazed.
She had always loved to look at places like those when she’d be on a trip with her parents,
sometimes she’d even ask to stop and see inside but they never complied, giving her half assed
excuses like it would be a waste of time or it was closed, even when the sign clearly said open.
Sam doesn’t remember the last time she had been out of Shadyside, she thinks it was when she
was twelve, visiting her grandparents for the last time before they passed away.
So Sam was just as excited as a little kid, eyes peering over every little measly thing with so
much wonder, tugging Deena around just to show her what cool thing she found and Deena,
Deena smiles so big and she listens to Sam ramble on about how she thinks she’d be good at
woodcarving because of her steady hands. Deena had absolutely no interest in anything in there,
but she would happily listen to Sam talk about the most mundane things all day just to see her
smile like that.
"We should get hats." Sam lights up, her bright idea already sounding like a dread filled time for
Deena who was quick to shake her head.
"Those? Oh no. No.” Deena cringes in disgust, because she did adore Sam but nothing in the
world could make her willingly put on any of the ugly hats on display.
They ranged from cowboy hats, to these cheesy baseball caps with state leagues nobody had ever
even heard of and Deena was also pretty sure she saw a few berets in there somewhere. Deena
would much rather drink expired milk that put any of those on her head but Sam had other plans.
And Sam wasn’t going to give up.
"Why are we here, Deena? Why did you take me on this day trip." Sam slips her hand into
Deena’s, effectively forgetting that they were indeed, in public as she began her little
motivational monologue.
"To... get away. To forget." Deena answers with a sigh, already knowing where the conversation
would lead.
"Exactly. Forget. So let's forget who we are back there and let's have today to be... anyone else
but us. Anyone we want to be." Sam says, a hopeful, warm smile on her lips as she notices the
man by the counter eyeing their intertwined hands, along with a few other shoppers glancing
their way too.
And so Sam drops her hand, she does it as subtly as she could, trying not to show Deena the way
her heart skipped a beat— and not in the good way. Disappointment floods Sam’s insides,
because she thought for a good while she was stronger than that. To get a reminder, no matter
how little, that the part of her that was instilled by her parents still existed enough for her to have
a panic attack over a few stares was almost like a punch to the gut.
But Sam hid it well, she really did because Deena doesn’t even notice.
"And you want to be the girl who buys ugly hats?" Deena questions, smiling back at her as Sam
wills herself to nod, trying her best to ignore the way her stomach turned.
"Yes, you got a problem with that?" She raises a brow, Deena looking at her for a few moments
before turning to the stand filled with hats.
"I call dibs on this one." Deena snatches the most decent looking baseball cap with an illustration
of a cow’s head on the front and Sam playfully gasps, feigning offence at Deena’s choice.
"I wanted that." Sam clicks her tongue, glaring at Deena who only shrugs proudly.
"Too late, loser." So Sam picks out another one, settling for a sky blue cap that matched her eyes
as she puts it on and looks at Deena, wiggling her brows almost as if to show it off and Deena, in
all her sincere honesty, feels like she’s falling much harder than she had ever expected for the
pretty girl wearing an ugly hat.
She even made the hat look pretty.
"Let me just pay for this and we can go. Also, I do have to pee." Sam takes it off, grabbing a
postcard to keep in her room as they headed up to the counter.
Sam could still feel the man staring, an older fellow with greying hair and wrinkles by his mouth
and eyes and Sam feels so painfully uneasy, like she wanted to crawl under a rock and hide.
Before she could take her wallet out of her back pocket, Deena grabs the hat and the postcard
from her hands and nods towards the door with the sign that said ‘restrooms’, much to Sam’s
confusion.
"Go to the bathroom already, I'll pay for everything." Deena hums nonchalantly, with Sam
raising her brows as she nods.
"Maybe your sketchy job isn't so bad after all." Sam teases, only earning an eye roll from Deena
as she walks away, leaving her girlfriend to lay down their items atop the surface of the counter.
"This all?" The man asks Deena, who was too busy looking over his shoulder at the shelves
behind him to notice the way he stared her down, almost with disdain that shone through with
just his demeanor. A few boxes laid atop the wooden shelves, more trinkets, but one in particular
catches her eye.
"Oh and that one too, please." Deena points up at one of the small boxes behind him, only a few
left which was strange to her, but she goes with it nonetheless.
"Talkin' bout the camera?" He asks, almost in surprise as Deena politely nods.
"Yes."
“That’s forty. You sure?” He questions again, this time not bothering to hide his prejudiced tone
as Deena uncomfortably shifts in place.
“That’s fine.” She reiterates awkwardly, watching as the man reaches up to grab the box, stuffing
it in the bag where the rest of the stuff Deena brought up to the counter was already placed.
He tells her the price, a challenge in his tone that really didn’t sit well with Deena as she pulls
out a hundred dollar bill, and asks him to keep the change purely out of spite. He even checks the
bill in the light, right before her eyes like he didn’t trust that it was real and Deena would have
said something snarky, but Sam arrives with her kind eyes and warm smile and Deena feels like
all the anger that was starting to bubble up just fizzles away with just one look from her
girlfriend.
"Ready?" Sam asks, unaware of the tension filled situation as Deena nods, leading her out but
never missing the chance to shoot the man behind the counter a pointed look before they walked
through the doors.
"Their bathroom smells like weed. Somebody around here was totally smoking bright and early."
Sam shares with intrigue as they climb into the car, Deena only offering her a small chuckle as
she hands Sam their things.
"I got you something, by the way." She says, nodding to the bag now sat on Sam’s lap as the
blonde gives her a curious look.
"You're giving me gifts already? Am I like... your mob wife?" Sam asks jokingly, wiggling her
brows and smiling so big her dimples were on display.
"Just shut up and look inside." Deena laughs, rolling her eyes as Sam pries the bag open and
spots the little rectangular box inside. She takes it out, her heart in her throat once she realizes
what Deena got her.
"Wait, seriously?" She looks at Deena, wide eyed and in awe, an explosion of warm butterflies
spreading in her chest as Deena nods with a small smile.
"Yeah. It's disposable and I just thought you'd want to take cool pictures. I don't have to be in
them I just figured since we're headed towards the countryside then we'd got a lot of nice views."
Deena explains sheepishly, clearing her throat because she wasn’t exactly the smoothest gift
giver there was. Truthfully, she dreaded giving anyone gifts just for the fear of missing the mark
but she didn’t, not with this.
Sam just stares at her, silence blanketing them as Deena’s restless mind begins to get anxious.
She can’t pick apart the look on Sam’s face, it’s one she hasn’t really seen before. Deena
wonders if she’s overstepped, or had done the wrong thing because Sam wasn’t saying a word.
Not a single word, but it wasn’t for the reasons that made Deena’s insides feel like she was on a
rollercoaster drop.
Sam was just realizing that she loves Deena.
In that single moment, sitting in Deena’s car miles away from Shadyside in the middle of
nowhere, with nothing but green and sunshine as far as their eyes could see Sam realizes she
loves Deena. She knows it this time, she wasn’t fumbling around trying to see the bigger picture.
Not a smear of doubt, of confusion in her mind. It was as clear as the road before them, she loves
Deena and that is both relieving and terrifying for Sam, who has never loved anyone her entire
life— not even herself. But she knows, she knows for whatever it’s worth that she loves Deena.
Whatever love meant.
So Sam takes the camera out of the box as Deena watches, holding her breath, waiting for Sam to
say she didn’t want it— or say it was utter shit but Sam quickly learns how to put it together,
never hesitating to point the camera in Deena’s direction as a quick flash of light emits from the
little device in her hands. Deena, stunned and totally unprepared looked like a deer in the
headlights, but Sam thinks she’s beautiful anyway.
"What was that for?" Deena asks in surprise, looking at Sam with widened eyes.
"I needed to start with the most beautiful view." Sam smiles warmly, her words only half true
because she had another motive. She just wanted to remember the exact moment she knew what
love felt like, and who she felt it for.
Sam knew that life was filled with uncertainties, especially theirs. All the twists and the turns, all
the grueling falls that knock the air from their lungs, Sam wasn’t naïve enough to think nothing
would ever go wrong between them. She knew anything could happen, she knew fate wasn’t the
kindest to people like them, the past few months having proved that but she just wanted to keep
that moment forever.
Her perfect moment.
The moment she knew, on the day she lived more than she ever has in her entire life. In the
picture, inside that little camera just waiting to be developed lived a memory of them that was
unbreakable. Untouchable by the world around them, a memory that can never be altered or
burned down, never bound by demons or the dark. She could have it forever, no matter what life
throws their way. In the golden sunshine of nowhere town, Samantha Fraser felt love for the very
first time.
And it was the most beautiful thing she had ever known.
"That's cheesy." Deena teases, pulling back into the road as Sam laughs.
"Yeah, not my best one." She agrees, shaking her head as she fiddles with the camera a little bit
more.
"Hey." Sam turns to Deena after a few moments, gently placing the camera back into the box as
Deena glances her way.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. I love it." Sam says with so much sincerity, wondering if Deena could tell she loved
more than the camera. She hopes Deena knew, because she wasn’t sure she could say it just yet.
It felt sacred, fragile, and Sam was afraid that letting the words see the light of day could wane
the magic of it all.
"You're welcome. Is that your first camera?" Deena asks, slipping her free hand into Sam’s to
plan a gentle kiss at the back of it.
"Well, the first one I own. I've taken pictures before."
"How?"
"Just borrowed a friend's. It was like this funny yellow polaroid, all of the pictures I took were
shit but it was fun to use." Sam shares with an airy chuckle, tracing absentminded circles on the
back of Deena’s hand.
"Well now you have one that's yours. Even if it is... disposable." Deena hums, and Sam looks at
her just to look at her. Just to admire her, to love her in silence, in the peace of their escape.
"I'm going to hold onto it forever." Sam says, meaning so much more than just the camera but
Deena didn’t have to know just yet.
While Sam and Deena are finding peace miles away, back in Shadyside chaos still ensued in the
form of rampant whispers, most of which were directed at Anna and the very sudden resignation
of their principal just two days after Kate’s revealing little stunt. At that point, the truth to it
became obvious. With nowhere to hide and all eyes on her, a fuming Anna bursts through the
lunch room, heading right for Kate and Simon’s table with puffy red eyes, looking like she
hadn’t slept in weeks.
"Where is she?" Anna demands, coming to a stop in front of the two with a burning glare and her
arms crossed over her chest.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kate asks, face cringed up in disgust as Anna rolls her
eyes at the girl’s feigned confusion.
"Where's Deena?"
"She's not here. She didn't come in today." Simon says, eyeing her just as sharply as Kate did.
"Fucking typical. She ruins everything and runs away like a coward." Anna spits, turning on her
heel when Kate makes a reeling comment amidst an airy, mocking chuckle.
"What crawled up your ass? Is it your boyfriend getting fired?" Kate says loud enough for the
people around them to hear, fueling the already prominent whispers and stares as Anna whips
around to glare her way.
"You tell your friend that i'm not letting what she did go. That stunt she pulled with the lockers?
It only made everything worse." Anna warns, but her venom filled lips and her scorching gaze
was no match for Kate’s ice cold heart, she wasn’t the tiniest bit fazed as Kate breaks into a slow
smirk.
"She didn't do it." Kate announces happily, watching confusion flood Anna’s features.
"What?" Anna mutters, brows furrowed as her eyes stayed unfaltering from Kate’s equally
fearless gaze.
"She didn't even know it was going to happen." Kate gets up, clicking her tongue as she shook
her head, almost to poke condescension at how long it took Anna to catch on.
"You?"
"Oh look, you do have a brain." Kate hums, stepping so close the tips of their shoes pressed
flush. Anna was a few inches taller, but it wasn’t like it mattered to someone like Kate. She’d
take Anna down in a heartbeat, and she knew she’d look good doing it too.
"Didn't I warn you? You fuck with her and I'll tear you down. You have no one now, with
Bronson gone you've fallen from grace so don't test me, Anna. My record is already stained,
don't think for a second I wouldn't set it on fire just to make you eat shit. Leave us alone, for
good." Kate takes her sweet time, every burning word digging into Anna like a dull knife that
tore through her chest.
"You'll never understand what you've done to me." Anna shakily mumbles, but Kate only smiles.
"Don't act like you didn't deserve it."
After a few more hours of driving, singing along to the songs on Deena’s new mix which Sam
has played on repeat the entire time, they finally find a spot good enough to stop at. They were
past the fields and vastly empty spaces, driving up a mountain where the air was a little colder
and the views were a little better. It’s only a few hours past noon, neither having had a proper
lunch aside from a few bags of candy and chips when they pull into a small clearing, one riddled
with RV’s and campers.
"It's like a hiking trail, I think." Sam was first to notice the little sign, and a path that led into the
trees and further up the hill.
"You want to have lunch there?" Deena questions, putting the car into park as Sam nods.
"Yeah, we still have the sandwiches. We could just bring them along and look for a nice, quiet
spot." Sam offers, which Deena posts no protest to.
It was a good plan, it seemed populated enough not to come off as creepy, like the woods in
Shadyside with a few families gathered around their own campers, eating and talking while some
hikers head up the trail or out of it. Deena really didn’t mind a good walk, but what she did mind
was Sam taking her camera and making Deena stand in nicely lit spots, or just places where the
background was nice enough for Sam to want to take a picture of.
"Stand over there." Sam nudges her for the third time since they’ve gotten on the trail, Deena
deadpanning her way with an exhausted look.
"Sam." She complains, but Sam isn’t letting go. She only motions for Deena to go stand in front
of a few tall trees where the sunlight beamed down at the perfect angle, creating a pool of
sunshine on the soil beneath.
"Come on, it's so pretty. You look great!" She urges Deena, who begrudgingly complies. Huffing
and stomping the entire way as she stood where Sam directed her too, shoulders slumped as Sam
began to point the camera.
"People are staring." Deena mumbles pleadingly when a few hikers glance her way, but Sam
only waves her off.
"Well it'd be faster if you wouldn't be so fussy." Sam chastises, looking through the viewfinder
to see Deena pouting a few feet away.
"Smile! Ohmygod, could you look less pained?" Sam huffs, looking up at Deena with a stern
gaze as Deena puts on a very obviously forced smile. She still looked pained, but adorable
nonetheless.
"There! Perfect!" Sam snaps the picture, Deena almost immediately treading over in
embarrassment.
"If I knew you'd make me pose for pictures I never would have gotten you that." Deena
mumbles, shaking her head as they begin to walk up further into the trail.
"Shut up, they're going to look so cute when I get them developed."
After a few more minutes of walking, they find a spot deep into the woods, just a few feet from
the path where a shallow ravine sat. With the sound of birds and running water, Sam and Deena
find a rock big enough to host them both, sitting atop it as Sam hands her girlfriend a sandwich
and takes one out for herself.
It was almost picture perfect, the scene before them. It looked like it was plucked from a
painting, tall trees and shallow water, sunshine beating down on them in little rays that cut
through the leaves above. It wasn’t isolated enough for them not to hear the hikers just nearby,
but it was silent enough for them to build their own little bubble of peace away from the world
around them.
"This is beautiful." Deena notes, looking around them in awe with a serene smile on her face.
"I know. It just made me realize just how... shitty our town is. Everything is so much brighter
here, it feels different." Sam agrees, just as spiraled into wonder as the girl right next to her.
The change was unmissable, the way things existed out of Shadyside made their bleak town look
even bleaker. Sam hadn’t truly noticed until they sat there, miles away in the radiant vibrance of
everything around them. Shadyside had this uneasy, rotting feeling to it. Like everything that it
held was so desaturated, devoid of life, bound to darkness that seemed to linger in every corner.
It almost made her wish to stay in that spot, forever, with Deena.
"Are you okay?" Deena asks after a brief pause in comfortable silence, her question taking Sam
by surprise.
"What?" Sam looks at her, curiosity written all over her face as Deena shrugs, taking a bite of her
sandwich.
"I know i've been busy and I know things have been rough. I just... want to know if you're okay.
I'm sorry I haven't been around as much." Deena apologizes once she’s finished what’s in her
mouth, offering the blonde a somber smile as Sam moves just close enough for their shoulders to
press together, almost as if in reassurance.
"I'm as okay as my life can let me be. I'm here with you and... i'm happy." Sam says with
complete honesty.
"Happy." Deena reiterates with a hum, like the word felt foreign on her tongue, like she was
trying to disassemble every part of it, just to understand what happiness truly was.
Days have been rough for Deena, rougher than they usually are. The strain of all they had been
through the past couple of months left a prominent scar, a tear in her entirety she couldn’t seem
to wash off. She felt like she was always nearing the edge, nearing her limit, wondering what
could ever be left of her once she goes crashing down and she hits the ground. She wonders if
she’d ever be able to piece herself together, she wonders if she’d want to.
In the peace and silence came melancholy, Deena truly feeling the exhaustion of the aftermath,
even as she sat there with Sam. She thought she could completely forget, that she could leave her
broken pieces behind in Shadyside even for a day, but there she sat with the same feeling in her
chest. Sam made it hurt less, though. Just being so close to Sam made the turning in her stomach
bearable, a distant, dull ache that crawls beneath her skin.
"Do you ever... think of what your life could have been if you were somewhere else?" Deena
asks another one of her curious questions, but Sam doesn’t mind answering. She liked talking to
Deena, it was easy, even with all the weight Sam knew she carried in her heart.
"Like if I didn't live in Shadyside?" Sam clarifies, taking a sip of the water bottle she brought out
there for the two of them as Deena nods.
"Mhmm."
"Yeah, I guess I think about it sometimes." Sam admits. She thinks about it more than
sometimes, but that all stopped when she met Deena.
"What kind of person do you think you'd be?" The brunette asks, fingers restlessly tapping on her
thigh as she held her half eaten sandwich in her other hand.
"Maybe i'd be braver. A little tougher. I'd definitely still like cheeseburgers and Jell-O cups,
though. No big city can take it away from me." Sam lightly replies, hoping to ease the burden on
Deena’s mind. Deena smiles a little, it doesn’t meet her eyes but it was enough for Sam.
"You think you'd be happier?" Her voice was a little more careful this time, a little more
reserved, like the question had to be filtered a thousand times before it saw the light of day.
Deena was trying really hard not to kill the light atmosphere, but her head was just not able to
comply. It never stops running, even in a place as beautiful as where they sat.
"I don't know. I think the things that hurt me... are inside me. I could be on top of the world and
still feel it." Sam answers sincerely, watching as Deena eagerly holds onto her every word.
"But you know... I wouldn't change a thing. Even if I could." Sam adds with a small, gentle smile
as she nudges her elbow against Deena’s as lightly as she could.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I don't think any place is worth not knowing you. Shadyside isn't... great, but it's where I
found you." She says it with her whole heart, Deena only laughing softly, almost as if she didn’t
believe she could mean so much but she does to Sam.
"I'm serious. You've done so much in so little time; I don't think you ever stop to see it
completely. All the ways you changed me, all the world you've shown me." Sam says it with a
sterner tone, just enough for Deena to understand that she wasn’t, in the tiniest bit, exaggerating.
"Before I met you I felt like... I was in this cage made of glass that only I could see through. I
could watch the world, watch everyone else but nobody could ever see me. Nobody can get close
enough to touch me." Sam tries to hide the somber hint in her words, but it always shines
through.
Deena was so much more than she could ever imagine to a girl like Sam. All of her patience, all
of her kindness, all of her bravery flipped Sam’s world upside down. Deena was a sweeping
storm, but she was the best kind. Sam couldn’t have ever seen her coming, Sam lived all of her
life content with the emptiness. The hollow, the darkness became Sam’s friend, accepting that
her life was never meant to mean anything more than what was already set in stone by hands she
didn’t own.
Then Deena comes along and even with all of the heartache and all of the problems, Sam had
never felt more real in her life. She has never felt so magically unearthed, like a whole universe
was revealed just for her. Deena was the brightest thing Sam has ever seen in a town like theirs, a
masterful stitch of flawed parts that made the most heart stopping masterpiece in the form of a
girl merely trying to survive a life designed to tear her apart. Sam adored every bit of her, much
more than her limited ability in expression would allow her to impart.
"I've always seen you, Sam." Deena quietly, almost shyly, admits.
"I know. That's why it took me so long to accept that you did, to accept that you shattered all of
that glass just to get to me like I was worth all the cuts and the bruises. I didn't ever think I'd be
worth anything more than the life that was already planned out for me." Sam spoke with so much
love, so much gratitude that she didn’t even need to say those three words because just as Sam
found what it was like to love, Deena found what it was like to be loved.
A girl who lived for others, invisible to the world until another struggle ensues for her to rip off a
piece of herself just to patch up. Deena has spent all of her life loving and losing, so much so that
she couldn’t ever believe she’d be on the other end but as Sam spoke, that unfamiliar feeling
begins to clear up to her. In the forest of a town far away from their troubles, Deena Johnson
found what it felt like to be loved. To be truly, utterly, loved with all of her worst parts on
display Sam still looked at her like every beautiful thing bloomed from her grasp.
And it was perfect.
"You deserve to be free." Deena says to her, because it was the truth. She’d burn a path with her
bare hands to set Sam free, to see her happy. Deena would go to the ends of the universe for a
girl like Sam, a girl she felt like she had known a thousand lifetimes before their own.
"I only want to be free if it's by your side." Sam replies without missing a beat, every syllable
holding the purest love a heart like hers could muster up.
"What if we don't go back?" Deena thinks aloud, never looking away as she takes her time to
study every little detail of the girl next to her. She’d never get tired of looking at Sam, never in a
million years.
"What?" Sam asks curiously, urging Deena to go on as the brunette hums in thought.
"What if we get back in the car and we chase the sun, we keep driving and never look back. If I
said I wanted to do that, would you come with me?" She asks, speaking purely of imagination—
or as she’d like to make herself believe.
"Yeah. I would." Sam honestly replies.
"We could keep going, sleep in shitty motels, find more shops in the middle of nowhere and i'd
keep buying you cameras and we could have burgers at every state. We could even change our
names. We can just... run. Run from all of that pain, run from all of that darkness." Deena finally
breaks away, looking ahead and into the vast distance of trees and sunlight, her heart dangling
from every word as Sam then watches her.
"You know it means leaving everyone behind too, right?"
"I know. Sometimes... I feel selfish. I don't mean to be, I don't want to be but some mornings
when i'm driving alone I think of never stopping. Never saying goodbye to Josh or Simon or
Kate. I'd just go, watch Shadyside slowly turn into a little dot on my rear view mirror." Deena
reveals, the sting of the guilt that came with her choked down desires crawling up her throat. She
knew the pain she’d cause, but she couldn’t help herself from wondering where her road would
end if she just… kept going.
"Why?" Sam asks, not out of judgement, not out of offense, she asks because she wanted to
know what went on in Deena’s mind. She always wants to know, no matter how much it hurt.
She promised Deena they’d do it together and even if she still struggled to be brave, she wanted
to keep that promise to the best of her abilities.
"I feel like the walls are closing in all the time. It's like every good thing comes with a price.
Everywhere I turn, i'm either losing someone, hurting someone or hurting myself." Deena quietly
discloses, the shame that hung from her lips out for Sam to see.
"But I know if I go, no matter how far I get, I'll never be able to rest knowing what I left behind."
Deena adds, meeting Sam’s eyes with a dull, melancholic smile.
"Can you promise me something?" Sam gently pleads, looking down at her hands as Deena
hums.
"Yeah?"
"If one day you wake up and decide to go, do you promise you'd ask me to come with you?" She
asks, almost fearful to look at Deena. She knew it was a vast ask, that it meant a lot— and she
promised herself to understand if Deena didn’t want her there, but god, Deena wanted her
everywhere.
"I promise."
When school ends and Kate walks through the doors, she spots Simon and Josh waiting by her
car. They’re animatedly conversing about something out of earshot when Kate scans the lot, a
strange feeling in her gut that proved to be right when she sees Paul in the far end corner, once
again talking to a few guys on the football team with a cigarette hanging from his lips. Kate
tightens her grip on her backpack, walking over to him with the weight of her angered
convictions burying into ever thundering step.
"Hey asshole, she's not here." Kate says to him, paying no mind to the boys that looked at her
like she was crazy. Paul quickly bids them goodbye before crushing his cigarette under his shoe
and grabbing Kate by the arm, practically dragging her to the side of the building where he and
Deena spoke a few days before.
"Where is she?" He asks sharply when Kate shoves off his grip, dusting off her sleeve like his
touch equated to garbage.
"Hell if I know. If I did, why would I tell you?" She spits, not bothering to hide the hatred in her
gaze as the boy scoffs at her words.
"Because you're smart, aren't you? You know what's good for you." He warns, but Kate was far
past her limit. If she couldn’t play it smart, she was most definitely going to play it big.
"I told you to leave her out of your mess." Kate fires back, unfazed as Paul peers down at her, a
bitter chuckle falling from his lips.
"All the pills you sell might be burning into your brain for you to think you can tell me what to
do." He says through gritted teeth, but Kate only smiles.
"You’re playing a losing game. I’m very competitive, Paul.”
"So am I." Is all he says, turning on his heel to walk away leaving Kate standing by the side of
the building to make a decision she should have made ages ago.
"What was that about?" Simon asks when Kate approaches, having caught glimpse of her
emerging from the same spot he saw Paul walk away from.
"I'm going to end this. It has to be me." Kate vaguely replies, unlocking her car and tossing her
bag into the backseat while Josh and Simon exchange a strange look.
"What are you talking about?" He asks once again, everyone climbing into the car as Kate looks
right at him with a confident smile.
"Winning, Simon. I'm too pretty to be a loser."