Why cry-it-out parenting could backfire

New parents have been using the cry-it-out technique for making a baby sleep as baby learns to self
soothe, it may mean that the baby will exhibit less co-dependence growing up. But studies have finally
started to show solid results claiming that this technique might have scarring outcomes in their later
years.

It may finally be the right time to put the ‘ferberizing’ trend to bed. New parents have been using the
cry-it-out technique developed by Richard Ferber in the 80’s as they have been under the impression
that if a baby learns to self soothe, it may mean that the baby will exhibit less co-dependence growing
up. But studies have finally started to show solid results claiming that this technique might have scarring
outcomes in their later years.
Here are a couple ways in which ferberizing could backfire onto you:

Stressed out:
All babies cry, period. It’s their only way to communicate that one of their needs haven’t been met.
Studies show that a baby left crying for too long exhibits stress cortisol levels that go through the roof,
and worse, the same study shows that even once a baby learns how to self soothe, their salivary glands
shows the same level of stress cortisol even when they’re not crying. This is shown to have a long term
impact in stress reactivity. So, a child could resort to increased levels of temper tantrums and aggressive
behaviour in their prepubescent years or late adolescence.

Behavioral problems:
Studies from Harvard, Baylor and other prestigious universities show that the continued practice of
ferberizing your child could kill off brain synapses at a very young age, leading to behavioral issues,
antisocial tendencies, poor academic performances and a slightly higher risk of ADHD.

Co-dependence:
Though the process of ferberizing promises to foster a child’s independency in their later years, it
actually accomplishes the opposite. Ferberizing has been shown to have a long term impact on your
child, imbibing an immature mindset on life, one where they feel the need to scream to get people to
meet their demands.

IQ issues:
The killing off of the brain synapse is the root problem of ferberizing, which unfortunately leads to lesser
brain cells, thereby resulting in a lower IQ, and very slow rates of motor skills development.

On the other side of the fence, there are anti-ferber parents who have a different and more effective
method of parenting. They vouch for the fact that contrary to popular opinion, if they go to soothe their
child when they’re in tears, they usually stop after 10 minutes and don’t cry again. However, if a baby is
crying not for physical comfort, but for other reasons, a parent should be able to provide for them. Here
are a list of the most frequent cries and what a parent can do to soothe them.
Hunger:
This is the most basic need of every human being and when your child smacks his/her lips, puts their
hands in their mouth of turns to look at what’s in your hands expectantly when you go to caress them,
you know what you have to do.
Gas:
Don’t worry. It’s not uncommon for your child to develop gas. In fact, the average baby has gas
problems at least 4 times a week. There is no distinctive gas cry, but if your baby cries after a feeding,
chances are they’re suffering from a gas blockage, at which point you have to pat and burp them.

Physical Intimacy:
A baby’s post womb journey can be very confusing for the child. As a result, they may cry to demand
physical intimacy. Just the smell of the parent, being held close so they can hear your heartbeat could
easily silence them. Once they sleep, which shouldn’t be hard as they feel safe, you can put them back in
their crib.

Hair tourniquet:
This is one of the first things a doctor checks for when a parent brings their child into the hospital
claiming that the child’s crying is inconsolable. This is a very sensitive thing, like the simple act of a hair
being stuck on a finger could be extremely painful for the child, even though it’s so minute.

Temperature:
If you’ve ruled out all the obvious outcomes, like burping your infant, and changing their diapers, check
if your child is feeling too hot or too cold. If your crying baby is swaddled in a warm room, maybe
unwrap the cloth and wait for a few minutes to see what happens. Chances are, they’ll stop bawling and
you won’t feel like such a bad parent after all.

Using the cry-it-out method was usually justified as being easy for the parents and easier for the child in
the future. But that has since been disproven, evidently. By really reading your child’s behavioral
patterns instead of reading a self-help book, you can make a true difference in your child’s emotional
growth, and save yourself from the helpless torture of watching your child cry from a distance, while
telling yourself it’s the right thing to do.