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UNDERSTANDING MEN WOMEN IN A RELATIONSHIP

11 reasons he left without

saying goodbye (and what it
means for you)
by Paul Brian
November 21, 2021, 10:11 am

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Breakups are bad enough without the extra

drama of being ghosted.

At least when a guy leaves and tells you it’s over

you know what’s going on.

But when he just disappears without saying

goodbye and never truly opens up about what
went wrong it just feels so much worse.

Here’s how to decode and recover from this

hurtful move.

11 reasons he left without saying

goodbye (and what it means for you)

1) He’s weak

I’m going to cut straight to the chase here.

It’s easy to say things a thousand different ways

but I want to be clear:

One of the most common reasons he left without

saying goodbye is that he’s weak.

It’s really not more complicated than that.

Your guy may be a bodybuilder or a famed

martial artist, but he’s as weak as they come if
he left without saying goodbye.

Ghosting someone in a serious relationship is

about as weak as it gets.

And fading out slowly while never fully breaking

up and then just disappearing is the coward’s
way out.

You may be in love and want to believe the best

about this guy, but you need to realize that what
he did is utter shit.

As Tara Brown writes:

“If he had the courage to say hello

to you, he should’ve had the
courage to say goodbye as
well. You don’t show courage by
jumping off a cliff or driving a car
at the maximum speed.

“You show courage by looking the

person you promised love to
straight in the eye and saying
whatever it is that you have to say.
You look the person in the eye and
you say you’re leaving.”

Solution: Promise yourself never to be the kind

of person who’s this weak. Leave this guy in the
dust where he belongs. Develop your personal
power.

2) He fell in love with another woman

Another one of the top reasons he left without

saying goodbye is if he fell in love with another
woman.

How would this relate to him ditching you

without breaking up?

It’s related to the last point: cowardice.

This guy wants to have his cake and eat it, too.
He wants the new girl but without the messiness
of breaking up with you and talking about
feelings and all that…

He knows that leaving without a goodbye makes

him the bad guy, but he won’t have to deal with
the fallout.

It’s like the type of scum who joke about hooking

up with girls without protection and then say
they don’t care about any consequences for the
women after.

These people want to have their fun and good

times, but they have zero willingness to face the
consequences of their decisions or be open
about what they’re really doing.

Good luck to the new girl, I guess.

Solution: Forget this guy. He’s scum. The least

he could have done is tell you he fell for
someone else.

3) You didn’t trigger his inner hero

Leaving without even saying a “goodbye” is

mean. However, not every guy has the courage
to face an uncomfortable conversation. And
while there might be plenty of his personal
traumas he deals with, the reason he acted this
way may partly lay in some of your actions.

You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their

inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct.

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this
fascinating concept is about what really drives
men in relationships, which is ingrained in their
DNA.
x

And it’s something most women don’t know

anything about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the

heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love
harder, and commit stronger when they find
someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the

hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like
superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need

to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a
cape.

The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to

you. With only a few small changes in how you
approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no
woman has tapped into before.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James

Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares
some easy tips to get you started, such as
sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his
hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to

say to make him realize that he wants you and
only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

Solution: Don’t blame yourself, we all learn as

we live. Analyze your behavior for the sake of
getting a better version of yourself (but not to get
him back) and make sure you apply the “hero
instinct” rule in your future relationships.

4) He has deep wounds from childhood

Another one of the biggest reasons he left

without saying goodbye can be if he has deep
wounds from childhood.

This in no way excuses him, but it does help

explain a lot.

Many men who were abandoned in childhood or

faced traumatic mistreatment, may be unable or
unwilling to face the pain of the end of a
relationship.

Rather than talk it out or tell you straight up that

he’s leaving, this guy may have opted to hit the
road and never look back, blocking you on
social media and disappearing like a ghost.

It’s sad and it’s cowardly, but when he has deep

wounds from childhood you can definitely see
some of his motivations to not be honest with
you.

Sidewalk Talk has an insightful article on this and

observes that:

“My therapist self knows why

people leave without saying
goodbye. I know the inner
landscape, the abandonment
wounding, and the avoidance of
intimacy in that.

“Heck, I have done it myself.”

Solution: Look at your own wounds from

childhood that are also holding you back.
Understanding them can help you grow in your
next relationship.

5) He has deep wounds from past

relationships

On a related note, another of the reasons he left

without saying goodbye can be if he has deep
wounds from past relationships.

Ironically, many of the men who end up

committing the disgusting act of leaving without
a goodbye are men who were themselves
ghosted by a woman they loved.

That pain of being left with no goodbye or being

discarded like nothing drags on them like a
deadweight.

Then when there are issues in your relationship

they take it off like a rain-soaked overcoat and
throw it on the floor, disappearing down the
street.

They take all the pain that was put on them and
put it on you.

It’s depressing, awful and you don’t deserve to

be treated that way!

Solution: Look at your own wounds from past

relationships that are also holding you back.
Understanding them can help you grow in your
next relationship.

6) He had a life-changing crisis and didn’t

want to drag you into it

This is unlikely, but it does happen and can be

one of the reasons he left without saying
goodbye.

Sometimes a man has a problem so bad, so

intense and so depressing that he spares you
the pain of knowing about it.

I’ve had women tell me that even in this case

they just wanted to know and be involved.

It could be interpreted as a noble act to leave

with no goodbye, but when you’re in love with
someone that kind of action is going to leave a
deep scar regardless of why it was done.

If a man has terminal cancer, is wanted by the

law or has experienced an intense personal
mental health breakdown, for example, he may
just disappear, hoping that he can spare you the
drama.

At the same time there’s always some element of

self-interest in his hope that he won’t have to
reveal all the messy details either.

It’s just such a sad thing to do.

Solution: Try to find out what happened if you

can. Knowing might make you feel a tiny bit
better and you can offer him positive vibes for
whatever he’s going through that made him do
such an awful thing to you.

7) He wants to hurt you

This is not something anyone wants to consider,

but one of the possible reasons he left without
saying goodbye can be that he intentionally
wants to hurt you.

If you cheated on him or upset him in some way

that he can’t process and deal with, he may
have decided that ghosting you is his best
option to stab you in the heart.

Everyone knows that leaving with no farewell is

one of the worst things you can do.

It’s definitely possible that’s exactly why he did

it.

“Because using indifference to send a message

does one thing and one thing only: it hurts
people.

“If that’s your purpose, if you want to hurt them,

to make them wait, maybe you should face the
mirror and ask yourself why are you playing with
a goodbye you don’t want to deliver,” notes
Ioana Holt in an article with advice for someone
who’s tempted to leave without saying goodbye.

Solution: Key his car (I’m joking). Plus, how can

you do that if he already took off..

8) You hurt him beyond his ability to forgive

or communicate

I don’t know what happened in your relationship

or right before he stopped being around.

Sometimes a man leaves without saying

goodbye because you hurt him beyond his
ability to forgive or communicate.

Even an action which may seem not bad to you

somehow wounded him beyond repair.

He then slunk off into the smog like a coward,

unable to face the feelings of betrayal, sadness
and anger you brought up him.

Fair or unfair, it is possible this happened.

He still should have faced you and told you he

was leaving, though.

This relates back to the unique concept I

mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man feels respected, useful, and

needed, he’s more likely to be open about his
thoughts and plans and treat his lady with
respect.

And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct

can be as simple as knowing the right thing to
say over a text.

You can learn exactly what to do by watching

this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

Solution: Face up to what you did, but never

blame yourself for his decision to leave without
saying goodbye. Think of how to apply the “hero
instinct” concept in your future relationships.

9) Future plans scared and intimidated him

Many men get scared off when talk of future

plans gets too intense.

Even if he was quite in love with you, one of the

top reasons he left without saying goodbye can
be that you scared him by thinking too far
ahead.

A man likes some freedom, and he likes to