THE GOSSIP

GAB
June 26 Volume 1

Marilyn Monroe the new

Bachelorette???

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!! Marilyn Monroe-

American actress, comedienne, singer, and
model is now the new Bachelorette! After a
few failed marriages she finally gets a ALSO IN THIS ISSUE!!
chance at real love. The blonde bombshell
will have 15 men AND 15 women fighting SHELDON IN SHORTS!?
for her attention on ABC’s hit show. The
new twist is men AND women will be THE CHALLENGE MEETS
fighting for Marilyn’s heart. Maybe this is
what Marilyn was missing all along… a THE CIRCLE!
woman! Fans across America cannot wait
to watch Marilyn fall in love and break
hearts along the way! The Bachelorette airs Lizzie McGuire cast takes a
Tuesdays from 8:00-10:01 p.m. ET on ABC. chance on reality television
THE BACHELORETTE LIVE STREAM with the Kardashians!
INFO: If you have a valid cable login, you
can watch The Bachelorette live on Tom Cruise Declared King
ABC.com or with the ABC app. Don’t miss of Hollywood!
this new twist only on the Bachelorette!
Written By: Kathryn Abbs Wednesday Addams, The
new Kardashian?

The Missing Orange Cat

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Vs. Bella Swan: Social
Media is Taking Bets

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 Sheldon in Shorts!? Lizzie McGuire cast takes a chance on
Unbelievably, mathematical genius and ultra-geek reality television with the Kardashians!
Sheldon Cooper is going to enter the lair of the
Love Island villa, in a bid to find romance and Lizzie McGuire, David Gordon, and Miranda
scoop the $100,000 jackpot! How will the socially Sanchez just graduated high school. After their
inept Cooper communicate, let alone survive, and school trip to Rome and watching Lizzie perform
triumph in the ferocious battle of the brawn to win a with a famous singer on stage, it inspired them to
fair maiden? The two-shirt clad intellectual has want to try out reality television. You would think
been warned that baring one’s chest is obligatory Lizzie's parents would be upset that their daughter
for male contestants, (and not completely frowned was sneaking around with a male singer when she
upon for the females either!), along with revealing was supposed to stay with her classmates. I guess
inner emotions in the quest to win the hearts of the her parents are excited for the fame that can follow
voting public. Can Sheldon rise to the challenge, this scandal. The Kardashians felt their show would
will he be able to translate the ‘dummy speak’ be the perfect fit for them since well who doesn't
language of lesser individuals, or comprehend the like watching drama unfold on television. Kim,
social cues, and sexual innuendos that abound on Khloe, and Kourtney are so excited to bring on
Love Island? Pour yourself a cocktail, relax and Lizzie, David. and Miranda since this would be the
enjoy the sun on the Island with tonight’s first perfect storyline to start with the first episode. It's a
episode at 8pm on CBS. win win situation where the Kardashians can give
Lizzie the opportunity to become a famous singer
Written by Giselle Lowe while giving the audience a chance to see the
nonmaterialistic side of the Kardashians. They want
to show how to use their platform to help a rising
star rather than building up their make-up and
The Challenge meets The Circle! clothing businesses.
Good morning, Hollywood! Last night we were
given a tip that some characters from the Popular Written by: Kristy Chanel G. Saccavino
show called, “The Challenge” will be appearing on
the Tv show, “The Circle”. Our source tells us that
eight of the rookies have been selected but that is
not the juicy gossip. The juicy part is that Jonny
Bananas and Sarah Rice will be on the show, and
they have no idea that each other are on the same
gameshow. These two have a huge rival between
each other, that started on season 28 when bananas
stole the winning prize money from his partner who
helped him win, who was Sarah Rice. So, it will be
interesting to see if they choose to go on as
themselves or chose to be other people. Cannot wait
to see the attempted guesses. Stay tuned to see if
they will go on as themselves or choose to be
someone else.
Written By: Kallie Bowers

2

Tom Cruise Declared King of Hollywood!
Long-time film actor Tom Cruise was declared the
official “King of Hollywood” today by the Motion
Picture Academy. The “Top Gun” star was granted
the title due to his ability to act in, quite literally,
any movie there is. Cruise is also a licensed pilot,
singer, rock climber, and Scientologist, and is
considered to be a very good-looking
individual. John Bailey President of the Motion
Picture Academy, said, “We pretty much had to
make the guy King, like seriously he can do it all…I
mean besides, keep a marriage together.” As the
new ruler of Hollywood, Cruise's first decree is to
banish all actors from Hollywood over the height of
5’7’’ and send them to Ohio. When asked why he
felt the need to do this, his royal highness
responded, “Because I’m Tom Cruise, that's
why” Cruise also plans on having the Oscar award
stature remolded after his own body and renamed
“The Cruisies”. All hail King Cruise, long may he
reign.
Written by: Amanda Leake
Wednesday Addams, The new
Kardashian?
Wednesday Addams is known for her chaotic
family. She was found tweeting with Kourtney
Kardashian last month saying, "I love your new
gothic touch, Kourt!" We are thrilled to announce...
They became the best of friends and announced that
they are teaming up with KKW for a new gothic
palette that is coming out this Halloween. They said
this will capture the chaos between their two
families, and it will show their love of the gothic
culture. They also released a teaser to the rest of the
collection on their Instagram's Sunday morning to
get ready to celebrate!
Written by: Mikayla Ewell
The Missing Orange Cat
We have heard from our inside source that the
famous Garfield the cat has gone missing. Our
source says that he was filming the next Garfield 3
in the works but mysteriously he went missing in
the middle of filming. One of the workers at
Garfield 3 had said they saw Garfield enter his
trailer and the next minute he was gone. As we
speak Garfield the cat is missing if anyone has seen
Garfield the cat, please call this toll-free number
1(800)591-3274. We have a cash prize if you have
any information on the whereabouts of Garfield the
cat. Please speak now before it's too late.
Written By: Logan McClement
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Vs. Bella Swan:
Social Media is Taking Bets
The supernatural realm of vampires has been
everywhere over the last three decades. We’ve seen
the fall of our favorite high school cheerleader by
day and vampire slayer by night, Buffy the Vampire
slayer played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, as well as
the rise of our tenacious sparkly vampire lover and
friend of the Wolf Pack, Bella, played by Kristen
Stewart. Buffy TV Geeks and Twilighters have
been at each other’s throats for years but it’s time to
finally settle who is the best heroine once and for
all. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Kristin Stewart will
be facing off during a pay-per-view “High Stakes”
cage match hosted by AEW Wrestling. Who is
going to rise up from blood and guts to glory? Tune
in this Sunday at 7/8c on TNT to find out.
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 Title: Can Raven Baxter survive the
Upside Down.
We all know Raven Baxter has psychic powers.
Although, her visions may not always be what it
seems, with eleven's psychokinetic and telepathic
powers. Will it be enough to help Eleven and her
friends survive in the Upside down? Is it possible
for Eleven and Raven to combine powers? The
The Long-Lost Kardashian/Jenner Sister attempt may risk both losing their powers.
According to sources, a 34 year old female has However, if they succeed, what will happen next?
come forward claiming that she is a long lost Written by: Crystal Garcia
Kardashian sister. The family has yet to come forth
and speak on the matter. However, it has become
public evidence that the family has ordered a DNA
test from the individual. Could she really be related
the Kardashian/Jenner sisters? I guess we'll find out
after receiving the results. Although the family has
not spoken on the matter on their socials, their
initial reactions are set to air on their show
“Keeping Up With The Kardashians” in the next
season. It will be airing in the Fall.
Written By: Dayanara Garcia

New Guest Judge Will Shock You!

This just in! Mr. Darcy Tim Conway Back From the Dead to
will be a guest judge in Save Comedy?!?
the latest season of The
Great British Baking Can the long dead Carol Burnett Show alumni save
Show. With his modern comedy? He will sure try!! Tim is planning
impeccable taste in on joining the upcoming season of SNL bringing
women the handsome some much-needed physical comedy chops to cast.
bachelor will be Fans have feared for the next season after some cast
dabbling in taste testing greats announced their retirement at the end of the
Britain's last season. Can Tim fill the hole left by the great
Kate Mackinnon despite his time in the ground?
best baked goods. The Only time will tell. Stay tuned!
tastes of the 1700’s
meets 2022. Can these modern pastry chefs impress Written By: Sarah-Jessica Wikle
Mr. Darcy’s vintage tastes? Can anyone in the same
room as him resist the urge to fall in love with him?
We’ll see March 2022!
Written By: Taylor Anderson
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