Do I stay with my boyfriend, or break up to go on a family vacation overseas?

He says
I can’t go on a vacation with us still being together, but I really want to go.

Originally Answered: Do I stay with my boyfriend, or break up to go on family vacation

overseas? He says I can’t go on vacation with us still being together, but I really want to go.

You break up with him.

Any guy who would give you an ultimatum like this is not a keeper.

I took a quick look at the more detailed information you provided on a separate question, and I
got the distinct impression your reasons for staying with this guy are not healthy. What I
observed was:

1. Fear that if you break up with him, you won’t be able to find a suitable
replacement; and
2. Guilt about hurting his feelings.
Your reasons for staying with a boyfriend should not be (1) fear of uncertainty and (2) guilt.

My boss threatened to fire me because I usually leave work at 6pm and don’t stay
until 8/9 like other employees. How should I handle this?

If you are a blue collar worker and in a union, check to see what is in writing in the rules
concerning overtime.

If you are a white collar worker and you signed an offer letter when you started working there,
read it very carefully and if it states what hours you are required to work and you are not
required to work after 6:00 P.M., take that letter to HR and have them settle the issue for you.

My son was working in IT for a very large company. Members of his group would take turns
taking a laptop home with them in case there would be problems on the system at night.

One night when it was my son’s turn to take the laptop home, he got a call at 1:00 in the morning
and it took him until 4:30 in the morning to resolve the issue. When doing what he was doing, at
certain stages he will send a group E-Mail out stating what he had done so far and my son’s
manager was on that list so he knew how late my son worked.

That morning when my son went into work, he was 10 minutes late and his manager
immediately said to him, “How about if you try to make it on time from now on.” My son said,
“You know I was working to resolve an issue until 4:30 a.m.” His manager said, “Still, it is the
perception of others seeing you coming in late and we can’t have that. Be on time going
forward.”

Now you need to know that I have always considered myself a master of revenge but my son has
me beat by a long shot and he will not allow anyone at all to walk all over him.

When my son went over that day and laid the laptop on his boss’s desk, his boss said, What are
you doing?” My son said, “What am I doing? I am not working from home any more so I can be
sure to be here on time every morning. I will leave my house so early that I will be in this
parking lot by 6:00 a.m. and I will then swipe my card to get into the building by 6:58 every
single day so you can’t bitch at me for being late.”

The manager raised holy hell with my son, demanding that he work his rotation shift from home
when it was his turn. No matter what my son’s manager said, my son refused to work from
home.

Now my son is smart enough that he wouldn’t consider doing something like this unless he has
an ace in the hole and he let this escalate to the point where he was called down to HR to be
reprimanded.

That morning when he went to HR and was now being told by the HR Manager and his manager
that he must work his rotation of taking the laptop home, my son pulled out a copy of his offer
letter from when he was hired.

My son handed the letter to the HR Manager and said, “Now you read this and tell me if I am
required to work from home?” The HR Manager read the letter and said to my son’s manager, “I
am sorry but you can’t require him to work from home.”

My son never worked a day from home after that.

From the way you describe your relationship history, I get the impression there has been a lot of
drama with this guy and you feel like your needs aren’t being met. I also get the impression you
feel like you’ve been doing most of the heavy lifting to keep this relationship going. I have no
way of knowing whether or not my perception is accurate. But if it is accurate, this doesn’t strike
me as being a healthy relationship