Falling For You

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/40181424.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Relationship: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Kim
Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Character: Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook, Min Yoongi | Suga, Park Jimin
(BTS), Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops &
Cafés, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unrequited Love, Pining,
Internalized Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Explicit Language,
Falling In Love, Secret Relationship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit
Sexual Content, Jealousy, Insecurity, Dysfunctional Family, Idiots in
Love, Angst with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Series: Part 2 of Fools in love, Part 3 of My Commission Works
Stats: Published: 2022-07-09 Chapters: 1/3 Words: 11160

Falling For You

by Amyungv

Summary

Taehyung tastes of the cigarette he just had and something sweet. Strawberries. The
lollipops he always chews on, Jungkook figures.

Kim Taehyung tastes like strawberries and cigarettes.

Jungkook might never forget how those tastes mix so well together in Taehyung’s kisses.
His arms tighten on Taehyung, and he thinks that he might never forget how Kim Taehyung
kisses.

Tender, sweet and fruity like strawberries, and…

Raw, urgent and burning like cigarettes.

Notes

— This is a work of pure fiction. An alternate universe entirely made up from my mind.

— This work has homophobia/internalized homophobia/past trauma (nothing non/dub-con)

— Please keep in mind the tags. Read those carefully. All of them!
 — PLAYLIST FOR THE STORY

See the end of the work for more notes

The music is loud.

The cheers are louder.

Taehyung leans against a pillar of the underground club and watches the boys perform their set.
His eyes move from Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok to… Jungkook.

Jeaon Jungkook.

Their lead singer and guitarist.

The boy’s voice rings in the small place of the underground club. His presence fills each and every
corner of the room. Taehyung knows the crowd has eyes on each one of them, but his own eyes are
kind of glued on Jungkook.

They always are.

Jungkook’s voice curls in the pit of his stomach, something fluttering erupts and spreads
throughout his veins.

Taehyung takes a sip of the beer, hisses at the taste, before pouring the drink down in the bin,
along with the red cup.

“Fuck, they are not done yet?” Jimin wraps his arm around his shoulder then, the other hand
holding a cup of the same liquor Taehyung just threw away, “I thought I would dodge this if I
come late.”

Taehyung eyes his best friend. He notices how those eyes are glued on their bassist. He says
nothing about it though.

He hums instead, “I just got here. Apparently, the crowd requested two more songs.”

Jimin curses under his breath, “people and their choices sometime make me wonder what’s wrong
with them.”

Taehyung wonders about that too.

In his case, he is that ‘people.’

His eyes find Jungkook again. Now the guy is leaning down to accept a rose from the girl in the
front row.

Taehyung knows what it means. Almost everyone in the club knows if the way the cheer rippling
through the crowd is anything to go by.

She is going home with him tonight.

Taehyung turns on his heels to go to the backstage. Jimin closely follows.

 ────✧❅✦❅✧────

Taehyung watches with dread when the group start to walk down the stage and through the crowd
towards their booth. He notices how Yoongi has his eyes fixed on Jimin and Jimin’s are already on
him. He looks at the table to see if there’s any more drinks left. He would much rather have that
sour taste on his tongue and blame his disgruntled face on it than say how these ‘face-offs’ bother
him.

His eyes move from Yoongi to the man beside him.

Jungkook’s expression is neutral. His eyes skim over each one of them, pausing on the guy in Jin’s
lap, roaming over him with a frown.

Taehyung snorts, taking a look at the bar and thinking if he should just get up and go. But Jimin
hates it when he leaves in situations like these.

Tells him about the importance of the front. How they should all face the enemies together. Half of
those don’t really make sense to Taehyung and the other half makes him laugh instead.

“Sorry for taking up so much time there, punk,” Yoongi leans against the table, “the crowd knew
you were the next performance and I guess, dreaded it? Begged us to do a few more.”

Taehyung lets out a breath, leaning back against the couch to look at anything but Yoongi and
Jimin.

His eyes flicker once more and freezes when he sees Jungkook looking at him. Those eyes are
calculative, flicking over Taehyung with a frown that Taehyung understands. He gets that frown a
lot for how he looks or presents himself.

He is wearing a black tank top and red shorts. His hair a mess of brown mop. His eyes are smoky
from the eyeshadow and has beads stuck underneath his lower eyelashes.

His nose is pierced. A golden ring sits snugly there. His lips are glossy, a little pink and a lot
plump.

Jungkook’s eyes lower and Taehyung’s chest fills with air.

His necklace feels cold against his heated skin. It dangles between his collarbones that is
highlighted deliberately with some products. Taehyung knows the strap of the tank top is slipping
off his shoulder on the left side. He grips it and drags it up and over his shoulder.

Jungkook’s eyes lower some more.

Taehyung feels his stomach tightening when those eyes find that waist-chain he is wearing. It’s a
simple chain of pearls. Wrapped snugly against his waist.

Then those eyes lower to his smooth legs and down to his feet where the anklets shine.

Jungkook’s eyes finally flicker up and those lips curl in distaste.

Taehyung arches a brow, “you did well up there.”

Jungkook seems a little shocked and a lot disturbed. His eyes go from Yoongi to him again. He
nods. The side of his jaw ticks. Once. Twice.

Then he looks away. Taehyung watches those eyes skim over the crowd before fixing on a girl. As
if finding a target.

Jungkook says something to Namjoon before he is off.

Taehyung watches him walk up to the girl. Without any confirmation or questions those arm wrap
around her waist and pull her closer. Her eyes widen before she is looking over her shoulder and
then she relaxes. Her smile wide and seductive.

Jungkook grips the hem of the girl’s skirt, slowly pulling it upwards while his lips press against the
back of her ear. His lips move and the girl nods. A giggle breaks out of her when Jungkook grabs
her hand and they are off the dancefloor.

Taehyung sighs.

He looks back at the others to see Hoseok and Namjoon are in a jabbing match with Jin and the
boy on his lap, while Yoongi and Jimin are glaring at each other.

Taehyung gets out of the booth to find himself something to drink.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

The café is slow during the afternoon. Not really a lot of people come in and Taehyung enjoys the
calm before the evening rush starts.

Only a few people come in during this time and Taehyung can manage them alone without losing
his shit over it all and cursing Mr. Kim for not hiring another help.

Jisoo resigned a few days ago. Now Mr. Kim is looking for someone and as long as he doesn’t find
someone he likes, Taehyung has to work alone.

He lets out a breath when the door opens and walk in those rowdy boys. Their shouts and giggles
filling the café to the brim. Namjoon leads them down the aisle, his head held high and smile wide.
As if he owns the place.

Well, technically he does. It’s his father’s café after all. Taehyung rolls his eyes when no one
acknowledges him, running down the aisle to arrange the last two tables together near the window.

Everyone settles in, talking in loud voices, shouting at each other to be heard and Taehyung winces.
He watches how Yoongi stands up, asks everyone what they would like to have and then starts
towards him.
Taehyung nods at Yoongi when the man comes up to him with their orders, narrating it slowly
while Taehyung writes it all down.

“A lemonade,” Yoongi nods, “an Americano. A chai latte. Seven chocolate muffins. One diet coke.
Two…” he counts on his finger while he speaks.

Taehyung thinks Yoongi is nice. Calm, collected, confident. The man is way nicer when Jimin is
not around.

“It will take some time, hyung,” Taehyung slips on the ‘hyung’ and goes with it, “I am working
alone.”

Yoongi nods, a small twitch of his lips, “that’s okay. We have a lot to work on, anyway.”

Taehyung looks at the man, “new songs?”

Yoongi hums, “you can say so.”

Taehyung’s eyes flicker over to the table where they all sit. They are throwing paper balls at each
other. Some are rolling off of each other and on the floor. Taehyung tongues the inside of his
cheek, thinking how he has to clean it all up when they leave.

Yoongi looks over his shoulder too, wincing, “sorry for the mess. I’ll tell them to gather it all up on
the table.”

Taehyung nods, “thanks. Enjoy your work, hyung.”

Yoongi walks off, joining the others on the table in a discussion Taehyung cannot make sense of.

He busies himself with the drinks. He is almost half-way done when he hears the ring of the door
and breathes out a sigh.

Then he turns with a practised smile to greet the customer, “welcome, please order from the menu
and I’ll—” his voice trails off when he sees Jungkook.

Jungkook and a girl wrapped around him.

Jungkook’s eyes are on him, “one black coffee,” then he looks at the girl and she smiles at
Taehyung to ask for a soft drink.

Taehyung nods, “I will deliver it shortly.”

“No sugar,” Jungkook says curtly before walking down to his table.

Taehyung huffs out a breath and goes back to work.

He looks at the trays on the table before deciding to carry out one by one. He picks up one and
walks down the line to the table. He holds it against his waist and slowly starts to place the orders
on the table.

Yoongi looks at him and back at Jungkook, “kookie, go and help him.”

Jungkook looks over at Yoongi with a frown, “why does he need help? He gets paid to do this and
I am not the waiter here!”

Yoongi sighs, “he’s alone. Go and bring out the food. What’s tripping you?”
Jungkook curses, looking over at Namjoon, “help him. You are the future owner of the cafe.”

Namjoon pats his back with a dimpled smile, “owner. Not worker. Go.”

Jungkook gets up then, leaving the girl on the couch to follow Taehyung down the aisle.

Taehyung puts the red tray on the counter and starts to load it while Jungkook waits on the other
side. His eyes move with Taehyung’s hands. Taehyung can’t help but sneak a few glances until
those sharp eyes snap to his face and he is ducking under the counter with the excuse of finding the
straws.

“The straws are on your left, on the counter,” Jungkook speaks, a mocking tilt of his voice that
makes Taehyung’s skin crawl with embarrassment.

He stands up, brushes his apron and reaches for the straws. Then he drops them on the tray. When
he holds the tray out, Jungkook takes a hold of it. In the process his index finger brushing over
Taehyung’s thumb.

Jungkook flinches, pulls his hand away and Taehyung freezes before retreating himself. He pushes
the tray forward on the counter, towards Jungkook.

“There you go,” Taehyung gestures for Jungkook to go, “finished.”

Jungkook hums, picks up the tray and turns to leave.

Taehyung’s eyes skim over the man. Once. Twice. Before he is turning away.

He misses the way Jungkook looks over his shoulder at him once. Then walks up to his table,
drops the tray and settles himself.

Jungkook can’t help but notice. Taehyung stands out for his flamboyant personality. He is
everything Jungkook abhors and everything that pains him to be around.

And, yet… they are always meeting in this small town.

He watches how Taehyung wears a yellow bandana; a fucking daisy tucked behind his ear. How
that cheap white shirt stretches over him because he has grown out of it ages ago and yet kept it.

The shorts he wears hugs him snugly around the ass. Jungkook notices how Taehyung’s legs are
almost three-fourth of his body. They are smooth, probably waxed, and tanned. Jungkook can’t
help but wonder how they would look wrapped around—

He stops himself, looking back at the table where Yoongi and Namjoon are busy with the lyrics
while Hoseok adds a few words here and there, correcting some rhymes.

He turns to the girl in his arm, smiling at her when she leans in for a kiss. He lets himself have that,
closes his eyes into her mouth and sees Taehyung’s eyes behind his eyelids. Large and wide and on
him.

Jungkook tugs the girl up on his lap and flips his bandmates the finger when they snicker and curse
at him for being so horny so early in the day.

On his way out he puts some tip into the jar, eyes on Taehyung who is busy making another drink
for a guy. He is smiling, attentive and borderline flirty.
His voice is a low vibration, purr almost, and those eyes are gleaming with mirth.

The guy across from him is a mess. Blushing, giggling and eyeing Taehyung as if he has never
seen someone as salacious as Taehyung.

Jungkook wants to laugh. He wants to tell the guy Taehyung does it with everyone for some extra
tip. He wants to…

Jungkook frowns. Why does he give a fuck to begin with?

He takes one last look at Taehyung who is reaching out to wipe something off the guy’s chin…

Jungkook leaves.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

Taehyung wears a white shirt with his white shorts, legs wrapped in a white fishnet and Jungkook
finds himself staring again.

The boy has his hair blue. Electric blue. It reflects the lights of the stage on it while they perform.

Jungkook ignores their main vocalist and finds himself following Taehyung whose smile is
brighter than the lights in the club.

“God, they are nothing but a chaos,” Namjoon winces, “and slutty! What the fuck are those
clothes?”

Yoongi says nothing. His eyes are boring on the main vocalist. Jungkook chews the inside of his
cheek, breathes out a snort while he stares at the three of them.

The music is, if Jungkook is honest, good. The beats fill his ears and make him want to dance. He
can dance. He can feel eyes on him. So many eyes on him. He just has to stand up and step onto the
dance floor for those eyes to take shape and form a circle around him.

He needs to choose one to grind against and go home with. He can choose more than one, if he
feels or wants. But tonight… tonight he finds himself staring. His eyes take in how Taehyung
moves.

Taehyung’s moves are seductive, unknowingly so. Taehyung is just dancing, in his element, and
totally unbothered of the crowd whose eyes are stuck on him. Then he is looking back at the
crowd. Those eyes are sultry. He sways side by side, as if someone can easily fit themselves behind
or in front of him. Someone can easily take a hold of that shapely waist and pull him closer.

Those lips part, as if around a moan, when he throws his head back, a smirk caresses that face
when his tongue comes out to map his lower lip before he sucks it into his mouth and teeth bite
down on it.
Jungkook moves on his seat. He crosses his right leg over his left. His eyes boring into Taehyung
when the boy whips around to show the crowd his back.

He drops low, arches his back once before slowly standing up. His ass wiggles and Jin smacks it
with his drumstick. The crowd is going feral. Their chants grow louder when Taehyung giggles,
turns to face them and holds the mic for his lines.

Jimin comes to hold Taehyung by his waist, moving easily against his side.

Jungkook grips the edge of the plush seat he is on. He feels his throat running dry the more he
stares.

“He is a guy!” Jungkook finds himself hissing, “he is a fucking man!”

Yoongi’s eyes travel to him, settles, observant, “yeah…?”

Jungkook chews the inside of his cheek, “what the fuck is he doing?”

He is grinding on Jimin.

Yoongi snorts, “he is enjoying himself while performing. What’s wrong, kook?”

Jungkook tears his eyes away when Taehyung turns to wrap his arms around Jimin, they are
moving face to face.

“Nothing,” Jungkook hisses before he is standing up, “I will see you for the performance.”

He can’t really sit and watch two guys grinding against each other like that. So vulgar. So cheap. It
makes something unfurl in him and Jungkook does not like it.

He walks down the steps to step onto the dance floor and as always, bodies start to press in on him.
With one last look at the stage, Jungkook fits himself against a girl who is eyeing him.

He gives her a slow smirk and pulls her closer. She comes easily, arms wrapping around
Jungkook’s neck.

Jungkook knows Namjoon won’t be home tonight so he goes home with the girl and fucks her on
their couch and then again on his bed before he falls asleep with the image of Taehyung swaying
on the stage, his smile wide and those eyes glued on Jimin.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

The basement The Vipers share with Zeinth needs renovation according to the landlady. She talks a
little loud because she thinks everyone has a hearing problem like her, or maybe because she thinks
that’s her normal pitch.
She reminds him that they need to cover up the instruments because the floor above needs
plastering and it might cause some damage to the roof of the basement and dust might gather all
over the place.

Also, she would like the rent before the end of the month.

She dutifully ignores Taehyung’s plea for a new light in the room and hurries back to her kitchen.

Taehyung stares at her for a few seconds before he turns towards the stairs.

Taehyung yawns behind his hand while he ascends the stairs to the basement. He rubs the heel of
his palms over his eyes while he takes the steps and finds himself standing on the last one when he
sees it.

Jungkook is sleeping on the couch and a girl is wrapped around him, sleeping on top of him.

Taehyung’s skin crawls. His eyes moving to take in how Jungkook’s clothes are in a heap on the
floor and the girl is wearing a top and nothing else. Both of them are wrapped in a blanket they
keep here for the times when someone stays over.

Mostly their group because it’s them who have the night shift.

Taehyung inhales deeply, to calm himself, before he moves. He knows if Jimin walks in on this,
Zenith will lose their lead vocalist.

He coughs in his hand, “excuse me,” he calls, watches how the girl frowns in her sleep, burying her
face against Jungkook’s neck, “hello,” he raises his voice, “wake up. It’s time for you to leave!”

Jungkook’s arms wrap protectively over the girl and he is frowning in his sleep. He does not wake
up. Taehyung chews his lower lip and looks at the clock on the wall. Jimin and Jin will be here
any moment now. Normally he and Jimin come here together from their shared apartment but last
night Jimin went home. So, Taehyung is here alone.

Some luck for Jungkook.

Taehyung leans to push at Jungkook’s hand, “hey,” he speaks “wake the fuck up!”

The girl stirs, her eyes bleary when she looks back at him and then they widen. Taehyung stands
up, preparing himself for the chaos that he knows is coming.

Her wide eyes start to make sense of the situation and she is squeaking before grabbing the blanket
to pull around herself.

“What the fuck!” she hisses, wrapping it around herself and finally getting off of Jungkook to stand
up.

Taehyung ignores how Jungkook is wearing just his boxers as he starts to stir awake too.

“What are you doing here?” she knows Taehyung, of course, in a small town like this, people
know each other, “you just barged in. Without any warning—”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, ignores how Jungkook slowly opens his eyes and looks around before
looking at the two of them. He is frowning, hand going up to press against his forehead.

Taehyung looks at the girl, “get out. It’s our practice time. I don’t owe you a knock or shit when
you shouldn’t be here anyway.”
She fumes, her eyes moving with Taehyung as he goes to start the kettle.

“Good morning, baby,” she gets inside her shorts and leans to press her lips against Jungkook’s,
“do you want to grab something to eat for breakfast?”

Taehyung pulls the small cupboard open, looking inside to check if the cookies he keeps there are
intact. They are opened and eaten from. Taehyung knows Jimin hates cookies, so he won’t do it.
Jin hates the chocolate flavour so he won’t have it either.

It’s one of the Zeinth members. Taehyung sighs. He watches how the packet is wrapped with a
Sellotape to prevent the cookies from going soggy. He pulls at the Sellotape and concentrates on it
while his ears pick up the way Jungkook groans and stand up to crack his bones with a yawn.

“Mmh,” he hums, “sure, babe. But, how about you go home for now and we meet up for lunch
instead? I am too tired to go around right now.”

She giggles, “sure, darling. I will see you for lunch then.”

Taehyung hears the clicking of heels and then the quiet rustling of clothes. He taps his foot while
he waits for the kettle to boil the water.

Then he hears it. The approaching footsteps that stop right behind him. Taehyung holds the edge of
the slab while Jungkook reaches around him wordlessly. His body warm against Taehyung’s back,
breath almost ghosting on Taehyung’s nape, ruffling his hair there.

Taehyung squeaks when Jungkook’s hand wraps around the packet of the cookies and he pulls at
it, “that’s mine!”

Jungkook does not answer because he already has the packet in his hands. Taehyung turns with it,
finding himself between the wooden slab and the man himself. His eyes are on the cookies and
then on the man. Just to see Jungkook’s eyes already on him.

“It’s mine,” Taehyung tries again, “you ate from it already!”

Jungkook’s eyes are droopy from sleep, he pulls out a cookie and bites it between his teeth before
holding the packet out for Taehyung.

Taehyung takes it wordlessly, looking at the man who takes a hold of the cookie and bites down on
it. Crumbs fall from the cookie, littering around Jungkook’s lips. Taehyung’s eyes drop on those
lips instinctively. His hands twitch where they hold the slab when he sees lipstick stains on those
lips. A deep maroon smear of colour around his lips.

Taehyung’s lips twist and he turns swiftly to face the kettle as it whistles right on time. He pours
himself some hot water and plucks out a teabag to drop into the mug.

Jungkook rounds him to stand beside him, leaning against the slab while he watches.

Taehyung stirs the cup, eyes on the liquid and how it’s slowly turning dark, “get moving,” he
murmurs, without looking at Jungkook, “otherwise—”

Jungkook tilts his head, calculative eyes on Taehyung, “otherwise, what?”

Taehyung bites the corner of his lower lip, shrugs, “just… leave.”

Jungkook keeps his eyes on Taehyung, “or, what? You will throw me out and throw some girly
tantrum?”

Taehyung’s eyes find him and he snorts, “girly? Why am I girly?” his lips twitch up, “because me
and Jimin like to wear things that you all pricks don’t agree with? Or, because we are more
comfortable in our masculinity than you will ever be?”

Jungkook snorts, “you are wearing a fucking skirt. Skirt—”

“Is a piece of clothing,” Taehyung murmurs, soft enough to reach only Jungkook, strict enough to
halt him on his words, “clothes don’t have genders written on them, Jungkook,” his voice comes
out absent, “people’s mind attach gender to it. We don’t really care. I don’t really give a fuck as
long as I feel comfortable and feel beautiful.”

He risks a glance at Jungkook to see Jungkook’s eyes are still on him.

“Well, then you are failing in that department too,” Jungkook pushes off of the slab and goes to
shrug on his shirt, buttoning it, “you look weird. Not beautiful.”

Taehyung chews the inside of his cheek, takes a sip of the tea. It’s hot, too hot, on his tongue. It
burns him and he finds solace in that sensation.

Better than the stinging he feels from those words.

His eyes stay glued on the kettle while he hears Jungkook move around the room to collect his
things.

“Clean the couch,” Taehyung speaks over his shoulder, “the blanket was over the backrest.”

Jungkook curses, “yeah, yeah!”

Taehyung’s phone vibrates with an incoming message and he pulls it out to check it.

‘Me and Jin hyung are going to Seoul to buy the sound system we need, Tae,’ it reads, ‘won’t be at
the rehearsal. My dad agreed to pay for it and I want to get it before he changes his mind. Will
show it to you tonight. Jin hyung is staying over. Will get some dinner. Don’t go near the kitchen.’

Taehyung smiles, sends back a thumbs up before he looks at Jungkook.

Jungkook has a frown itched on his forehead and he is blinking with efforts. Taehyung can clearly
see the hangover rolling off of him. Can feel the headache he is going through right now and a sigh
escapes him.

“Want some tea?” he offers, arches a brow when Jungkook looks at him, “Jimin and Jin hyung
won’t come to practice. You have time.”

Jungkook falters, his eyes moving from the tea to Taehyung really quick before he straightens up.

Taehyung knows the rejection is coming. He accepts it before it leaves Jungkook’s tongue and
shrugs to turn around.

“No sugar,” Jungkook says instead.

Taehyung looks over his shoulder, “what?”

Jungkook goes to sit on the couch, hands rubbing over his face, “no sugar. In the tea. Thanks.”
Taehyung watches the man grimace when his hands come off with the lipstick stain. He rubs his
hands together before wiping them on his pant.

Taehyung turns to the counter and prepares another cup before walking up to Jungkook and
handing the cup to him.

Jungkook takes it with a nod and sips slowly before letting out a satisfied groan. Taehyung goes to
sit on the stool behind the drums, drinking from his cup.

His eyes keep moving to find Jungkook. Jungkook, who has his eyes closed and head tilted
backwards on the couch. Who is holding the mug tightly in his hands, as if absorbing the warmth.
Jungkook’s hair is a mess, his entire demeanour is a mess.

But still…

Taehyung finds himself staring. His eyes glued on the man who is slowly sitting up to take another
sip of the tea. Then Jungkook turns to him and Taehyung is startling, flinching to a point where the
tea sloshes and falls on his thigh. He winces, placing the mug on the drum to wipe at his reddening
skin.

Jungkook watches him, eyes glued on Taehyung while Taehyung tries to get himself cleaned. He
looks up at Jungkook when the man snorts.

“Here,” Jungkook holds out a bottle of water, “cool water helps the burn.”

Taehyung takes the bottle with hesitancy before he pours a little on the burning skin and sighs. He
looks up and Jungkook is still watching.

“Thanks,” Taehyung murmurs, going back to his tea.

Jungkook nods. His eyes are now on the floor between his feet, face hidden in the shadows, while
he drinks the tea.

Taehyung can’t help but stare. His eyes slowly trailing down the man’s body. Jungkook has
tattoos. A lot of them. Taehyung lines those tattoos with his eyes. He wonders what they mean. He
wonders if some of them are attached to Jungkook’s past, some kind of memory itched in them. He
wonders who goes with Jungkook when he gets those tattoos. Or, if he goes alone. His eyes slowly
move down to those muscled arms that hold the mug tightly. Those fingers twitch, the grip
tightening.

“Sorry for staying late here,” Jungkook is saying next, “for taking up your time.”

Taehyung shrugs, “it’s okay. Happens,” he eyes the man, a small twitch of his lips, “don’t make it
a habit though. Jin hyung or Jiminie will have your head if they find out.”

Jungkook’s face is blank but those eyes are calculative, “why didn’t you?”

Taehyung blinks, lips part on a silent, startled, breath, “what?”

Jungkook observes him, “why didn’t you say anything?”

Taehyung tries to look nonchalant, his eyes going back to his tea, “I am not really fond of fights.
They make me anxious,” he looks anywhere but at Jungkook, hopes the boy doesn’t notice how his
fingers tremble around the cup. Or, how his legs bounce erratically.
Jungkook hums, eyes still on Taehyung, “if it bothers you so much, how did you end up in that
petty kitty gang?”

Taehyung’s eyes snap to Jungkook, he frowns, “hey, your friends mess with us too, okay? It’s not
just my friends.”

Jungkook has no expression on his face, he sips the tea, eyes stuck on Taehyung, “right.”

Taehyung bites his lower lip, “anyway, if you are done, you should leave. I do have to practice and
I don’t want—”

Jungkook stands up, nodding, “right,” he goes to wash the mug on the sink at the corner of the
room before he is looking back at Taehyung.

Taehyung pulls out his guitar, strumming it.

Jungkook comes closer, “thanks for the tea.”

Taehyung looks up at that face, “you are welcome.”

Jungkook hesitates for a few seconds and Taehyung waits. Then the man is nodding to himself and
leaving.

Taehyung lets out a sigh, going back to his guitar.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

“I have an interview today,” Namjoon sighs, cursing loudly while he runs around the apartment,
“damn, do I look good?”

Jungkook is making breakfast, his eyes find Namjoon and he nods, “you always do. Can you calm
down?”

“Where is the interview again?” Yoongi comes to sit on the bar stool, beside Hoseok, “for a
nursery, right?”

Namjoon nods, “just a part-time job to earn some extra cash,” he looks at Yoongi over his
shoulder, “you know where. The Kim’s Nursery.”

Yoongi picks up a toast and starts to butter it, “that place? You got a job at that homophobe
bastard’s place?”

“It’s in a different town,” Hoseok frowns.

Namjoon shrugs, “it only takes twenty minutes on the train, and, yeah,” he nods at Yoongi, “that
homophobic Kim. I frankly don’t care. I will take his money and get out of here as soon as I am
done with university. The man is toxic as fuck!”

Yoongi chuckles, his lips curled on a disgusting sneer, “man is disgusting.”

Jungkook frowns, “what?”

Yoongi nods, placing the toast on Hoseok’s plate, “Kim Taehyun, the nursery owner, is a
homophobic piece of shit. He threw his son out when he came out as gay. You know the son.
Taehyung?”

Jungkook freezes for a second, his eyes on Yoongi, “Taehyung?”

Youngi nods, jaw ticking, “Taehyung came to this town and took shelter in a friend’s house. Then
he started working. He wasn’t even an adult. Just… what? Sixteen? Since then, the boy feeds
himself and works his ass off to support himself. I respect him, you know? So much,” Yoongi
frowns down at his plate, “imagine leaving home at the age of sixteen? Just because you are
homosexual? He was so young and probably so terrified.”

“He still managed well,” Hoseok sighs, “that’s why he works at so many places. He has to look
after himself.”

Yoongi snorts, “unlike his rich, bratty friend, who left his house because papa didn’t want him to
join the band. Taehyung really is something else…”

“And the fact that he still manages to be so cheery and…” Hosoek gestures with his hands, “I don’t
know the word, positive? It blows me. I would be bitter and gloomy!”

Yoongi nods, “don’t tell anyone though. I got a whiff of it because my dad worked with the Kims.
That’s how I knew. But, let’s not spread it. I mean, I don’t think a lot of people know and frankly,
it’s not our business to talk about his past.”

Hoseok and Namjoon nod in understanding.

Jungkook frowns, looks down at the pan on the oven. He does not say anything else throughout the
breakfast.

That day, when they go to the café and Jungkook sees Taehyung working again, he leaves 30% tips
in the jar.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

“We have to stay to get the payment,” Jimin comes to their booth with a tired tilt of his lips, “the
manager won’t pay until all the acts are done. We still have two more to go.”

Taehyung and Jin groan. Jin leans back against the booth and mutters how his bones are cracking
with exhaustion and Taehyung feels the same. He gets up, points at the door of the club.
“I will just take a drag,” he tells Jimin before walking off towards the back alley of the club.

He finds himself in that familiar alleyway, leaning against the cold brick wall and pulling out the
cigarettes to light one. Taehyung holds it to his lips, taking a drag while his eyes move around
leisurely.

He can hear the thump of the music from inside. The wall is vibrating with the noise. Taehyung
leans his head against the wall and feels the beat in his veins. His tongue plays with the butt of the
cigarette.

The door of the club opens, someone walks out and Taehyung knows the guy. He watches, lazy
almost, how Yujoon comes up to him. Those eyes roaming over Taehyung before the guy comes to
stand right in front of Taehyung.

“Wanna go home with me tonight, darling?” Yujoon is always a smooth talker, in bed, outside of it,
“saw you up there and couldn’t hold myself back. You were mesmerizing as always.”

Taehyung likes Yujoon. Always did. He never lingers. He knows what Taehyung and him, both,
want from each other and he is up for it time to time. Taehyung smiles, takes a hold of Yujoon’s
shirt and pulls him closer so they are inches apart.

“How about you remind me why I like you so much, Yujoon ssi?” Taehyung murmurs, eyes
gleaming with the playfulness that gets Yujoon going.

Yujoon’s hands rest on Taehyung’s waist, he steps closer, “how about I suck you off like I always
do before you fuck me and realize how tight and warm I am for you. Only you, Taehyung ssi.”

It’s all in the words. They both are far from being exclusive. Both know it’s all a stupid roleplay
that gets them going.

Taehyung hums, takes a long drag before he takes a hold of Yujoon’s hair, “get to work then.”

He is worked up. Might as well.

He pushes Yujoon down on his knees. Taehyung wants a quick fix tonight. He doesn’t have time
for foreplay.

Yujoon takes him well. His mouth engulfs Taehyung as if he is familiar and Taehyung is.
Taehyung knows that mouth and Yujoon is just as familiar with him. Taehyung takes another drag
from his cigarette, looking down at Yujoon who is looking up at him studiously.

Taehyung breathes out a curse when those lips start to suck him hungrily. His eyes are almost
closing.

The door of the club opens again. Taehyung ignores it. If someone sees, they might throw a few
insults and move along or simply ignore. He never really cared. He has nothing to lose anyway.

But he hears the sharp inhale and amusement courses through him. He tilts his head to see the
source of the voice because it’s always amusing to see a scandalized man glaring at them when he
can easily walk off.

Taehyung turns his head and freezes when he sees who it is.

Jungkook stands by the door of the club. His eyes on Yujoon and then up at Taehyung. Those
round eyes are wide and now fixed on Taehyung’s startled ones. Taehyung feels shock course
through him while Jungkook’s eyes travel from him to Yujoon on his knees.

Taehyung’s chest fills with air, he holds the cigarette between his lips and reaches to take a hold of
Yujoon’s hair. He pulls Yujoon down on him while his eyes stay glued on Jungkook who is still
watching them.

“Come on, baby,” Taehyung moans, turning away to close his eyes, “make me cum and I might let
you fuck me tonight.”

Yujoon grunts, working fast.

“You realize I can call the manager and he can ban you from coming here?”

Taehyung lets out a curse, eyes snapping to the source of the voice and Yujoon flinches before he
looks up at the man too.

“Damn, keep moving, man,” Yujoon wipes his lips with the back of his hand, clearly irked, before
he stands up, “if you don’t want to see it, go to the other direction.”

Taehyung zips himself up, already feeling the dread settle on his shoulders, “Yujoon—”

Jungkook stares at Yujoon and at Taehyung before he snorts, “or, you two can take your sick asses
somewhere else!”

Taehyung freezes. The words ringing a bell that takes him back to the past. A past he doesn’t visit
often. He doesn’t like to visit often.

Jungkook has his arms crossed, his eyes penetrative on Yujoon and then on Taehyung. Taehyung
stands up, dropping the cigarette to step on it. Jungkook keeps his eyes on Taehyung.

“What the fuck?!” Yujoon takes a step up to Jungkook, “keep your fucking mouth—”

“Yujoon, get inside,” Taehyung takes a hold of Yujoon’s elbow, shaking his head, “ignore him,
okay?”

Jungkook snorts, “yeah, listen to the twink. Otherwise, he might refuse to put out for you and
judging by how desperately you were sucking him off,” Jungkook’s lips twitch with disgust, “you
might not have that again.”

Yujoon glares at Taehyung, “Tae, you want me to ignore this?!”

Taehyung nods, looks at the angry man and lets out a sigh, “go inside, Yujoon. I will find you.”

Jungkook stands, eyes moving from Yujoon to Taehyung. Taehyung holds Yujoon’s eyes and
Yujoon holds his. Then Yujoon sighs, cups the side of Taehyung’s face to give him a small and
tired smile.

“I’ll wait,” Yujoon looks back at Jungkook, glares, before he is walking back inside, “come soon.”

The door of the club closes, the sudden burst of music and voices dimming again. Taehyung leans
against the wall, breathing deeply. Jungkook stands a few feet away from him. Eyes still on him.

Taehyung looks at the dark building ahead of himself, the fading graffiti of a middle finger stares
back at him. He counts till ten before he looks back at Jungkook.

“You could have easily minded your own business,” he tells Jungkook, “easily—”
“You homos could have easily took this back to your place,” Jungkook chews out, emotionless
eyes fixed on Taehyung, “I came out for a drag. I don’t need to see this!”

Taehyung watches the man, “this… you have never done this?” his lips quirk, “fucked one of your
birdies here? Got a head? What’s tripping you?”

Jungkook’s jaw ticks, those eyes are intense on Taehyung, “you,” he murmurs, “you repulse me!”

Taehyung chokes on a laugh, the words ring different. He doesn’t hear it in Jungkook’s voice. He
hears it in his father’s voice instead. He sees that old man’s face instead. There are not a lot of
insults from strangers that hit him anymore because he has heard them from his father. They hurt
less. Doesn’t hurt as much as it did coming from someone he grew up considering his ‘hero.’

Taehyung looks back at the building ahead of himself again, “well, then,” his voice comes out
tight, “get inside and stop seeing me.”

Jungkook stands exactly where he was, and Taehyung searches for another cigarette. He lights it
without acknowledging the presence and inhales. He needs to settle himself.

“I will never understand how taking it up the ass can be pleasurable,” Jungkook grits out, as if the
notion of the idea makes him sick to the stomach, “I will never get it!”

Taehyung chuckles, “you don’t have to. Just, respect the ones who get it and move along. Simple.”

Jungkook lingers and Taehyung closes his eyes. He inhales the smoke, wills himself to stop
thinking about Jungkook’s words. They leave an impact. They poke at a wound Taehyung would
rather forget. It makes him restless, anxious, jittery.

“I have no idea how anyone gets it.” Jungkook snorts, leans against the wall himself and pulls out
his own cigarette, “I have no idea how a person looks at another person of their same gender and
gets the idea of fuc— forget fucking, kissing them!”

Taehyung hums, makes rings with the smoke he exhales, “maybe you should kiss someone of your
gender and get the idea.”

Jungkook stills beside him, eyes snapping to Taehyung, “don’t fucking try to drag me in your homo
agenda.”

Taehyung laughs, looks at Jungkook with a giggle bursting out of him, “homo agenda? What do
you think we are, Jungkook? A cult or something?”

Jungkook looks at him, holds his gaze. Those eyes are somehow grounding, holds Taehyung’s
scattering mind in place. He watches how Jungkook’s eyes move all over his face, and Taehyung
looks away to inhale the smoke again.

“Yeah, it’s probably scary, huh?” Taehyung speaks in a mocking tone, “the idea of kissing a dude,
and God forbid,” he leans a little towards Jungkook as if to spill a secret, “liking it!”

Jungkook’s jaw ticks, locks, “I would never like kissing a guy. I am not homo like you people.”

Taehyung nods, looks back on the right side, where he can see the alleyway meeting the main road.
The lights are dim and do not reach where they stand. They are almost guarded in the shadows of
the night.

Taehyung sighs, “don’t knock it till you try it, Jungkook ssi,” he murmurs, eyes finding Jungkook
again, “you never know, you might like it,” he smirks, “like kissing a guy. Love having your cock
down a guy’s throat or a guy’s cock down your—”

He expects a blow. Maybe a kick even. What he doesn’t expect is Jungkook taking a hold of his
throat and pressing him up against the wall.

“Keep your fucking mouth closed, okay?” Jungkook hisses, “just because you like wearing gay
clothes and being openly disgusting, doesn’t mean everyone will like it. I personally find it—”

“Intriguing?” Taehyung takes a hold of Jungkook’s wrist, tightens his hold there, “interesting?” he
smirks, “why else are you out here, standing with a homo and trying to change his way of living
when you can easily slip back inside? Easily find a girl for the night and fuck her to orgasms to
satisfy the fear in you? Huh? I am not insecure of my sexuality, Jungkook,” he pushes at the hand
around his throat, “but you surely are of yours.”

Jungkook chokes on a gasp when Taehyung takes a hold of Jungkook’s wrist instead and twirls
them to press Jungkook up against the wall.

“Does this terrify you?” Taehyung wonders, leaning closer, “that, a skirt-wearing, heel-clad guy
with fucking flower in his hair, can overpower you anytime?” he leans, so his lips are inches away
from Jungkook’s ear, “does this hurt your masculinity, that a homo can overpower you any
moment he—”

Jungkook’s snort is cutting, chilly, he shoves Taehyung off of him and Taehyung stumbles,
backing away.

Jungkook breathes out, eyes glued on Taehyung, “stop fucking talking nonsense before I break
your jaw!”

Taehyung scoffs, exhales the smoke, “nonsense, huh?” he steps closer again, “what is nonsense?
That you are terrified of figuring out how it feels to kiss a guy?” he snorts, “or, how you are scared
that you might actually like it?” he steps in front of Jungkook, “or you are terrified that you want
it? You want to kiss a guy but you are—”

Jungkook is angry. He is pissed. He walked out here to take a drag and seeing Taehyung like
that… with a guy between his legs, something snaps in him.

He never really bothered about someone’s sexuality. As long as they were on their own and left
him alone, he didn’t care.

Not like this. Never like this.

But Taehyung always edges him on. Jungkook can’t seem to ignore the boy because… he is so
vibrant. All the time. He easily takes a hold of Jungkook’s attention and maybe it’s because of the
outrageous clothes he wears. Maybe it’s because of the way he is ‘different.’ Maybe because he is
everything Jungkook grew up knowing as ‘abnormal.’ Maybe because… in his abnormal,
uncommon, weird way Kim Taehyung outshines everyone so easily. Even tonight. In his sheer
white shirt and white jeans, he shines. The moonlight glisten on him and his damn blue hair and
Jungkook can’t seem to look away.

He cannot help but take notice. Notice how Taehyung moaned when Yujoon was sucking him off.
He cannot help but notice how Taehyung arches his back off the wall to push his cock down the
man’s throat more. He hates how he notices that face, pleasured and sated. Jungkook hates how
Taehyung speaks to him. Dismissive, mocking, tantalizing. As if he owns Jungkook in a way. As if
he is confident in his hold on Jungkook. As if he has Jungkook all figured out, categorized and
labelled.

Jungkook hates how Taehyung provokes him, and he loathes how he falls for it. He shouldn’t. He
doesn’t. Most of the time, others’ judgements mean nothing to him. He listens to them like white
noise and moves on. He is in a band, a career he wants to choose with that band. His own relatives
talk shit about him for that. His own friends say words way more provocative for that. He doesn’t
care. Never did.

But… there’s something about Taehyung. His words linger. Those eyes mocking him cuts deep. It
infuriates him.

He doesn’t think. Let his anger shimmer through his veins like liquid lava while he reaches out and
grabs Taehyung by his elbow. With a twist he has Taehyung against the wall and then their lips are
on each other.

Taehyung jolts in his grip, his eyes gaping at Jungkook who has his eyes fixed on a fierce glare.
Their lips don’t move. They just stay pressed against each other. Jungkook is not sure what he
wants to do next and Taehyung is too stunned to move a muscle in his body.

Their breaths are hot and heavy on each other. Their heartbeats pick up. Heat sizzle through the
two of them while their brain fails to identify the feelings they both share in that moment.

Jungkook feels something snap in him the moment Taehyung relaxes in his arms. His eyes softly
closing, head tilting sideways to fit their lips together more accurately. His left hand goes over
Jungkook’s shoulder to hold onto his nape, fingers tangling in Jungkook’s hair there. While his
right hand rests on Jungkook’s chest. Right over his heart.

Jungkook’s hands grasp Taehyung by his waist, clings to him while the kiss deepens. Taehyung
kisses him ardently. His lips move slowly, coax Jungkook’s lips to part. Jungkook fits his lips
around Taehyung’s and suck his lower lip into his mouth.

Taehyung tastes of the cigarette he just had and something sweet. Strawberries. The lollipops he
always chews on, Jungkook figures.

Kim Taehyung tastes like strawberries and cigarettes.

Jungkook might never forget how those tastes mix so well together in Taehyung’s kisses. His arms
tighten on Taehyung, and he thinks that he might never forget how Kim Taehyung kisses.

Tender, sweet and fruity like strawberries, and…

Raw, urgent and burning like cigarettes.

Jungkook presses closer, growls into Taehyung’s mouth when his hands lower to feel the arch of
Taehyung’s hips. His hand fits perfectly over that globe. He squeezes, hears how Taehyung gasps
into the kiss.

Jungkook squeezes harder, hopes he leaves some type of prints. For Taehyung to feel, for
Taehyung to think of him.

Taehyung’s nails are blunt on his shoulder. They press down there, scratching Jungkook’s skin
there.
He leaves his own marks on Jungkook between the kisses.

As if Jungkook needs a reminder. As if this kiss is not going to stay burnt in his memory forever.

He frowns.

It shouldn’t.

Why should a kiss, a filthy, rushed, angry kiss, hidden in the shadows of a dirty alleyway, linger in
his memory?

It shouldn’t.

It’s with a guy. He is kissing a guy!

It’s dirty. It’s disgusting.

Jungkook pushes Taehyung away. He stumbles back, lips tingling from the kiss and his tongue
comes to out sooth the skin. Taehyung leans back against the wall, panting.

He should look like a dirty whore. Jungkook thinks. Taehyung should look like a dirty, cheap,
desperate hooker. Standing like that against the wall of a dingy club. Sucked by a man, kissed by
two.

He should look the part of a cheap hooker. Just what he is.

But… Jungkook watches Taehyung close his eyes to breathe in deeply. Then the boy wipes his lips
with the back of his hand and looks at Jungkook.

He is anything but cheap. Dirty.

He is pressed against the brick wall. Cobwebs and moss spread over the wall. The low light of the
street barely illuminating a side of his figure and he looks ethereal.

He looks like a creature of Jungkook’s nightmare. A creature that paralyses him, his thoughts and
holds him in place while the creature takes a hold of his thoughts. A demon. Kim Taehyung looks
like a demon from hell. Sent to allure Jungkook in and ruin him.

Taehyung puts his left leg on the wall behind him. His right leg on the pavement. He leans his
body more on the wall, throws his head back to suck in some much-needed air.

Jungkook’s chest fills with air, too. He did that. Taehyung looks dishevelled and more affected by
Jungkook’s kiss than that homo’s blowjob, and somehow that makes something swell in Jungkook.

Taehyung’s eyes are on him then. They stare, roots Jungkook on the spot. They hold something
utterly devastating, and Jungkook knows he should leave. He should get inside and get the fuck
away from this devil.

So, he moves. He walks those two steps up to Taehyung, grabs him by the neck and jerks him back
into another kiss.

Taehyung whimpers, his hands coming up to hold Jungkook as well.

Jungkook does not hold back this time. He forces his way into Taehyung’s mouth. He kisses, bites
and licks into Taehyung’s mouth.
Taehyung moans so prettily for him. Jungkook swallows it all in.

At the back of his head, he feels the anxiety building. He is kissing a boy. A boy like Kim
Taehyung.

But, Jungkook lets it grow while he presses Taehyung up against the wall and kisses him senseless.

He will deal with that anxiety later.

For now, he will let the devil dance in his mind while his senses stay paralysed.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

“He is such a pretentious prick,” he hears Jin say beside him, “they don’t even sing well!”

Jimin hums. Sips his drink. Gulps.

“Who is ‘he’ for you?” Taehyung asks, “because the main vocalist can sing pretty well!”

Jin curses, “I meant that Namjoon guy and please, stop. Your crush on that pretentious rockstar is
showing.”

Taehyung wants to protest. He does not have a crush. Whatever he felt for Jungkook is now gone
after that kiss. Not because of the kiss.

But because of how Jungkook treated the kiss afterwards. How that hand had pressed against
Taehyung’s throat, not cutting off his air but hinting of it anyway, while Jungkook had threatened
to arrange his bones for him if Taehyung spoke about the kiss to anyone.

Then he had spit on the pavement, grimaced, called the kiss his life’s biggest regret before he left.

So… Taehyung is surely not harbouring any feelings towards the man anymore.

“All of them are obnoxious pricks,” Jimin says, “talent has no place on that stage right now.”

Jin hums, chugs his beer, “I can’t believe we have to sit through this before we get to perform.”

Taehyung has his eyes fixed on Jungkook, even when he wants to look away and forget, he can’t,
“you all are way too judgmental. They are not bad at all!”

No matter what, he is not going to be blinded by petty anger and malice. He knows talent and those
four are, indeed, talented.

Jimin and Jin ignore him, looking at the stage and waiting for the performance of ‘Zenith’ to end.

When it does, the four hold hands, bow and wave at the crowd.

Everyone is packing up to leave the stage when Yoongi comes forward, his tattoos glistening
under his transparent white shirt that is now sticking to his skin because of the sweat he worked up.
He grabs the mic and lets out a breathy chuckle.

“I am sorry that we are leaving you high and dry in the hands of a few indie wannabies. I hope you
all can forgive us for that.”

Taehyung sighs.

Okay, maybe those four are just as petty. He rubs his temple, looks at Jin and Jimin. They are
positively glowering at the stage.

Taehyung turns to grab his guitar, fixes the strap over his shoulder, and focuses on evening out his
breathing before he hits the stage. He coughs, hums low in his throat to warm it up. They are the
next performers.

The Vipers.

“Punks are here, guys.”

Taehyung lets out a deep breath, slowly turning to face the four who are now standing by the edge
of their booth. Their eyes mirthful and on the three of them.

Well, except for Jungkook’s eyes. They are uninterested, that face is blank, and his jaw is, as
always, locked. He looks pissed and bored.

Taehyung hates how he notices stuff like this. He hates how his eyes always find Jungkook. He
thinks he should move past him. He thinks he should ignore the boy and leave.

But…

“Let’s go, guys,” Jimin calls, already out of the booth. Taehyung follows him down the steps and
crosses Jungkook. Then he looks over his shoulder at the man and blurts out…

“You sang really well,” Taehyung blurts out.

For a second everything stops.

Taehyung stops breathing, his heart lodged in his throat. Jungkook stops on his way to the booth,
gaze flickering over to match Taehyung’s wide eyes. Everyone around them stop to stare at the two
of them. Waiting for Jungkook’s reply.

Taehyung’s fingers tighten over the strap of the guitar, he waits for Jungkook to simply turn and
get inside the booth or worse, laugh at his face.

Jungkook nods instead, jerky, awkward, ““uhh… thanks.”

Taehyung’s chest fills with so much air, he feels breathless. He hates himself for giving Jungkook
so much control over his emotions. He hates how those simple words make him feel.

Taehyung nods, forces a grin up at him, “you are welcome.”

“I think we should move!” Jin hurries them, jaw set, “it’s time.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon sighs, “Time to plug in my headphones and pray for the set to be over quickly.”

“Why don’t you leave if you are in so much pain?!” Jin asks, glares.
“Oh, I wish,” Namjoon wails dramatically, “but the owners of the gig won’t pay us until the shows
are over. So…”

“You really think,” Yoongi breathes out a chuckle, “We will sit here, and listen to you all’s cry as
high-notes with baby-pop lyrics and stupid hip-thrusts if we could help it?”

Jimin breathes out a laugh, “well at least we have lyrics. All you people do is growl into the mic
and hump your guitars because no one would hump against you.”

Namjoon curses, trying to stand up but Hoseok grips his shoulder and forces him down on his sit.

“Guys,” Hoseok sighs, “I am tired, can we order something?”

It’s a clear indication of the conversation ending. The ‘Zenith’ lounges on the sit and Taehyung’s
band turns away for the performance. Taehyung takes one last look of Jungkook before he turns to
follow Jimin and Jin down the club.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

Winter is not a time Taehyung enjoys anymore. No matter how big of a party Jimin, Jin and his
friends throw for his birthday, Taehyung finds himself out of place and detached.

It starts with the month.

1st December.

The Kim’s Cafe starts with its Christmas goodies since the first day of December and Taehyung
hates the jingles by the end of the month.

He hates the merriment this time of the year carries and hates the family-friendly environment
around himself in the cafe.

The snowflakes in the air, the freezing snow under his feet, the chill of December air… it all
reminds him he was born in this month and makes him wonder, why was he born? He shouldn’t
have.

This month reminds him of home. A place he left and never found again.

His parents. His siblings.

He wonders if they feel this miserable during this month or they just moved on as if they never had
him in their lives? As if this month is a month of festivals and celebrations of lights when they
sucked that light out of his life.

He wonders if that house still celebrates Christmas, decorates the tree with the ornaments he loved
so dearly and sits around the tree with their presents in hands while all of them ignore a certain
someone around them. If they ever leave a present under the tree for him. Or a wish of his
wellbeing.

Maybe not.

Maybe, just like his father said, he is dead to them.

Maybe his mum makes the cookies and does not miss him around her. Hopping around, asking
how far along it is. Begging for her to let him have the dough. Maybe she forgets to put in a little
more Choco chip in the mix because Taehyung is not there anymore.

Does she miss him?

Does she make those woollen sweaters and seek him for measurements? Does she call someone
else her ‘babybear’ now?

Taehyung blinks, turns away from the coffee machine when the doorbell rings. He looks at the
door and a smile grow on his lips.

This month gets a little bearable when his childhood neighbour and one of the closest friends
comes to visit him.

Every year.

Bogum smiles, his eyes warm and always so full of love. He brings the warmth of the fireplace
Taehyung had back in his home. Beside which he would fall asleep with a book on his lap. Bogum
carries the scent of home.

A piece of home in this cold wintry world.

Taehyung rounds the counter to throw his arms around the man. He hugs Bogum close, buries his
face against Bogum’s neck and lets out a shuddery breath.

“I missed you, hyung,” Taehyung chokes out, “you came here after four months this time!”

Bogum wraps his arms around Taehyung, pulls him closer, “sorry, bub,” his voice stays gentle,
always has been, “Seoul never stops working us to our bones.”

Taehyung pulls back to look at the man, “look at you. Working for a law farm. My personal
lawyer!”

Bogum laughs, pats him, “how are you, taetae?”

The question can be answered in so many ways.

Taehyung always chooses the happy one. A positive one.

“I am good,” he nods, squeezes Bogum’s arms in assurance, “I am better.”

Progress.

Bogum once told him, if he takes one step at a time, that’s better. That’s progress. He doesn’t need
to run. He just needs to move. Not stay stuck in that past. In those memories.

Taehyung holds that advice very dear to himself.

Bogum’s eyes crinkle with he smiles, tender, understanding, “I am glad then,” he looks around,
“this place is already festive. No?”

Taehyung laughs, drags Bogum to sit at a table near the counter, “I will get you the special.”

Bogum relaxes, eyes moving with Taehyung, “how is Jimin and Jin?”

Taehyung rounds the counter and pulls out the freshly baked cookies, “awesome. You can meet
them soon. They have practice. I am about to leave.”

Bogum nods, “I am staying the night. I will meet them anyway.”

Taehyung puts two cookies on a plate, fills a cup with Bogum’s favourite chai latte and brings it
out. He places them in front of the man, watches Bogum take a few bites and smile up at him.

Taehyung goes back to working, “we will leave soon, okay, hyung?”

Bogum nods, leaning back on his chair, “okay, Taetae. No need to hurry.”

“How long are you gonna stay, hyung?” Taehyung wonders, looks over his shoulder at the man,
“how long you can stay?”

Bogum shakes his head, “I am going back tomorrow, but I will be here for your birthday.”

Taehyung’s hand trembles where it holds the cup, his eyes find the man who is already looking at
him.

Taehyung forces a smile on his lips, “I am working on my birthday. Extra shift—”

“You are not,” Bogum’s voice tints with determination, “I came here to inform you, you, Jimin
and Jin are coming with me to Iseul’s house. Just the five of us. A small gathering. For your
birthday,” Bogum leans on the table, his elbows rest on it, “to celebrate,” his voice dips on the last
word, “your birthday.”

Taehyung’s tongue presses against the roof of his mouth. His eyes hold Bogum’s heavy gaze and
he is not sure. He is not sure he feels it. Celebratory. He looks down at his hands, wiping the cup
with vigour.

“Hyung, she lives in Gyeongsan,” Taehyung whispers, “more than ten miles away!”

Bogum chuckles, “I will be there. You three just show up, okay? Me and her are going to cook the
food and she is already learning how to bake a cake. You have to come, Taehyungie. Otherwise,
she will be very upset.”

Lee Iseul.

Bogum’s girlfriend. His high school sweetheart.

Taehyung knows her as his elder sister. She makes him feel like it. Being from a family where he
is the oldest one, she has always been there to guide him through things that suffocated him.

She is another reason Taehyung is surviving alone. She took him in when he left his house and
when Taehyung told her he wants to be on his own, she made him promise that he will be in touch.

Taehyung does.
He values the few people he still can trust and hold onto.

He bites the inside of his lip, “I will be late then. I already promised seonsaengnim that I will take
care of the shifts that day. So,” he makes an apologetic face, “is it okay, if I get there around half-
past nine?”

Bogum shrugs, “your birthday is not till twelve and we four were planning of staying the night
there and celebrating the whole next day till the New years. Jimin already talked to Mr. Kim and
he said it’s okay. He knows, Tae. You just show up whenever.”

Taehyung sighs, “thank you.”

Bogum goes back to his drink, “now finish up. Let’s meet them. I missed them too, you know?”

Taehyung smiles, wide, going back to his chores, “they missed you too, hyung.”

He looks over at the window to see the snowflakes, sticking to the windows, falling all over the
road. Taehyung looks at the layer of white snow on the pavements and oddly feels warmth seep
through him.

He looks away.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

Jungkook reads the lines for the fourth time. The words mix up right in front of his eyes and no
matter how hard he tries the song does not portray a story. To him, a song needs to tell a story. He
likes songs that has a meaning.

His songs always do.

Jungkook chucks the pencil on the notepad and throws his head back on the couch.

“You look fucked,” Namjoon walks in, shrugging out of his coat, behind him is Yoongi and
Hoseok.

Jungkook goes back to closing his eyes, “wrote the chorus and now I want to fuck myself for such
a shitty song.”

Yoongi comes to sit beside him, “let’s read, shall we?” he takes the notepad and skims through the
lines, “hmm,” he frowns, “they seem alright to me?”

Jungkook deadpans, “alright is not enough. They should sound ground-breaking.”

Yoongi chuckles, “everything can’t be ground-breaking, kookah. You need to love the process and
then the end result will be ground-breaking.”
Jungkook stares at the window behind his back, the sun is setting, “it’s supposed to tell a story.”

“A story…” Yoongi eyes him, watches how Jungkook’s face glows with the late afternoon
sunrays, “what story?”

“A story,” Jungkook shrugs, “a love story.”

“This does sound like one,” Yoongi picks up the guitar, plucks the strings, “yeah, it does.”

Hoseok comes to sit on the carpet on the floor, a mug of coffee on the tea-table, “that sounds sad.”

Jungkook agrees. The song sounds unbearably sad.

Yoongi breathes out a soft smile, “every love story doesn’t have to be happy, Hoba. Some can be
sad.”

Jungkook turns to frown at Yoongi, “how can love be sad?”

Yoongi’s eyes hold something decipherable; he looks down at the sheets in his hands, “isn’t love
always sad?” he wonders aloud, “loving someone with your everything, not knowing if they will
ever feel the same. Not knowing if you will ever be able to move on if they don’t… isn’t that
sad?”

Jungkook looks out of the window again, “you are way too philosophical for a peppy rock song.
Just,” Jungkook sits up, shrugs, “I will write something about sex. That’s better.”

Namjoon comes to sit beside him on his other side, “it’s always a hit,” he agrees, winking at
Yoongi over Jungkook’s shoulder, “sex sells.”

Yoongi chuckles, looks at Jungkook, “just don’t throw this song away,” he taps Jungkook’s knee
with the papers, “keep it. Maybe one day you will find someone who you fall in love with. Who
you fuck up and who fucks you up just as majorly? That day you can complete this.”

Jungkook takes the papers from Yoongi, scoffs, “right. Yeah, let’s keep it for the person I will fall
in love with.”

They all laugh.

“Yeah,” Hoseok giggles, hand held out for Jungkook to slap, “the most beautiful princess who will
kiss your frozen heart awake.”

Everyone laughs, the sound bouncing off of the walls and ringing in his ears.

Jungkook looks down at the papers.

‘Your eyes,

deep like an abyss,

It’s scary how—

I’m falling

I am falling for you.’

Jungkook grips the edge of the of the papers, eyes skimming over the lines…
 The lines make no sense. He never fell for someone. Jungkook doesn’t ‘do’ love. He is not sure he
ever will. So… the song goes in his files. He zips it all up and shoves it into his bag.

A princess… a princess will come to kiss his frozen heart awake. Hoseok said.

Jungkook hopes by then he forgets how kissing Kim Taehyung felt like.

────✧❅✦❅✧────

End Notes

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