I feel very hesitant to tell you this because telling you this means I’ve been lying to you

since day 1 which

I regret very much. I’m sorry for a lot of things you can’t even imagine. I am not who you think I am. This
is all just an online persona that my friends and I created meaning this whole Lee Jaeyoung existence is a
lie. So, here’s the truth… Let me introduce myself. I am a Malaysian who travels a lot currently studying
to become a pilot, but going to take a degree engineering in the UK first as piloting has been on hold. I
am born in 1999 so that makes me 5 years older than you but I feel so fucking stupid for lying to you as
I’m supposed to be the mature one but instead you’ve been everything. So basically, Jae is actually a
nickname my Korean friends call me. Azraen. Since there is no Z in Korean language, It is pronounced a
bit weird like Ajraen. So my friends were like struggling I just told them oh, why not AJ and they were Jae
then since it’s easier. So that’s how it turned out. One time, I went out with my friends’ friend and she
asked about my name so my friend said Jaeyoung instantly so it became sorta like my Korean name even
thought it’s just a nickname. Being 5 years older than you is going to be such a turn off for you and now
you know why I didn’t pop the question of asking you to be my GF or smth like that. It’s because of the
age gap. That’s why I just said that I like you, nothing more, nothing less. So one day, my Singapoeran
friend invited me to play VRC. And all of us like vowed like okay online and real life are two different
things so yea. I was playing around doing all kinds of dumb shit and I liked kushu. But the thing is, I
introduced myself as the persona instead of my real self so I just played along thinking ah, it will be over
soon after September. Then shit happened, Idk my friend wanted me to sing for her and I just didn’t
have the confidence to sing at that time, so I messaged you NOT because of not knowing how to
pronounce, I just wanted to know what you thought about my singing like if you, someone who just
knows me by my voice says that it’s nice, it’s kind of a confidence booster. So yea, and then I actually got
interested in you and all of the things I said to you about how I feel are all true. I was just hoping that it
would last until September, because it’s like I wanted to tell the truth to you before I actually go to the
UK. And after telling you the truth at that time, I was hoping that you decide whether to still keep talking
to me or just ignore me. I know this is so dumb and I’m so fucking sorry for hurting you and the others.
Like I regret a lot of things, like a lot of things but I honestly don’t regret falling for you. Why am I even
trying hard to explain things to someone I met online, right? Like I can just disappear but why am I still
here? Not being able to sleep thinking about this? I know I did a lot of shit and I don’t even deserve your
trust now because I’m like a fucking stranger. Idk even if you lose your feelings towards me, that would
hurt yeah, but I just hope we can still talk like idk maybe not like we used to? Because this could be the
start or end of something. I’ll just try my best to answer your questions truthfully from now on if you
have any or you could just say fuck you and just leave me. One thing is for sure though, like please, if
you decide to leave because you can’t trust me, at least believe that my feelings towards you are real.
I’m so fucking stupid and I’m sorry for hurting you. I just wish we didn’t meet like this. And the stories
about my childhood and parents and stuff, I didn’t lie about them. Math and Science being my fav
subject. I enjoy reading books. Those weren’t lies, the only thing that’s fabricated was about myself. The
feelings are real. You know, I was contemplating on whether I should tell you the truth or not. It was
either don’t tell her the truth and lose her because of something stupid and regret it or telling her the
truth and lose her because I’ve been lying to her since day 1. But will I regret telling her the truth? No.
You are the first online person to know about me like this. Even if you lose your feelings and can’t trust
me because of this, I just hope we can still talk. Maybe not like we used to, just talk whenever you feel
sad or lonely or just need some company. I mean, why would you since you have your other friends. But
if it’s me that you want to talk to, I’ll be here. Idk maybe I should just delete discord as well. Fuck I hate
vr chat. Shouldn’t have played that game. I’m going to sleep now. Sorry to stop this bomb before your
class starts. Idk I can’t sleep thinking about this and idk it hurts as well. I’ll answer your questions if you
have any after I wake up. Or you can just say fuck you and leave. But idk I’m sorry for hurting you, for
making you defend me. Idk I’m sorry for talking to you in the first place. If only I could go back in time,
I’d just tell my past self to not disturb you. Like legit, if you’re laughing, please don’t laugh. You should
be mad and angry and disappointed. Because I feel like sometimes, you laugh because it’s how you cope
things like before when you confronted me. Focus on school and only reply after school. Honestly, it’s
going to feel different going through June, July and August without you. I’m sorry it took me a while to
tell you the whole truth. I was also agreeing to the “better late than never” quote which is kinda dumb. I
hope these answers most of your questions. Please don’t say that you’re the stupid one because of this
because I’m the stupid one who ruined what could be something unbelievable.