2.

0 Introduction to
Professional Etiquette

2.1. Understanding the

Rules of Etiquette

2.2. Creating Positive First

Impression

2.3. Maintaining
Professional
Relationships

1
 Learning Outcomes
At the end of the chapter, you are expected
to be able to:
Understand the rules of etiquette

Describe ways to create a positive first

impression

Discuss the essential elements in

maintaining professional relationships

2
iNTRODUCTION

Ethic Vs. Etiquette

Ethic- Moral principles that control or

influence a person’s behavior
Vs.
Etiquette- Formal rules of correct or polite
behavior in society or among members of a
particular profession (Accepted Rules of
Conduct)

3
 2.1. Understanding the Rules of Etiquette

Etiquette lesson from history on table manner

Medieval 17th Centuries 20th Centuries

16th Centuries
19th Centuries 21st Centuries

4
 2.1. Understanding the Rules of Etiquette
Etiquette lesson from history
Medieval era
 The ideas of Chivalry (ˈShivəlrē)- the medieval
knightly system with its religious, moral, and
social code
 Seating arrangement- Wait for the highest ranked
to be served
 Plate sharing- where the knight share the
“trencher” with his lady, cut the meat into pieces
and serve only the best part of the meat pieces to
his lady.

 Eating utensils- how fork replaced hand

 Turkish princess who married the prince of Venice
introduce fork as eating utensil & became a public soar
due
 Catherine de' Medici of Florence was the one responsible
to reintroduce the fork to European 300 years after the
death of the Turkish princess.
 & chopstick come into being
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 Medieval table manners
Rules for the table
- Persons of lower rank stand upon the head of the house and important guests
entering or leaving the room
- One uses one's own knife which was brought with oneself.
- Forks were cooking utensils. Never eat with them.
- Food is picked up by stabbing with the knife but NEVER did the knife go to
the mouth. The food must be removed with the fingertips to eat.
- Do not make many selections and gather them to your plate.
- Keep your elbows off the table while eating.
- Do not belch or spit at the table.
- Do not stuff your mouth full.
- Do not dip meat or fingers directly into the salt bowl. Use the knife tip.
- Do not leave a spoon in a dish when you were finished.
- Do not use the knife to pick your teeth.
- Do not take all the choicest morsels for yourself.
- Meat should be cut from the joint.
- Bread should be cut, not broken and the upper crust offered to the guest.
- It is acceptable to select fruits, tarts and morsels with one's fingers.
- A spoon should be used for broth. Do not lift the plate to your mouth.
- Under no circumstances eat the trencher (plate of stale bread).
- Napkins to be placed over the left shoulder or left wrist and used.
- Do not wipe your mouth on your sleeve- use a napkin.
- Take a cup with both hands to drink if it is shared.
- Wipe your mouth on a napkin before drinking from a shared vessel.
http://oakden.co. - If you are offered a drink from the host's cup, do not pass the cup around.
uk/a-medieval-
feast-menus- Source: http://rosaliegilbert.com/manners.html 6
etiquette/
 16th Century - the work of Erasmus
on “Civility in Children” became
guidelines

 17th century table manners – the

French term l’estiquette first used
in the 1600s as a guidelines on
entering palace grounds on ceremonial
occasions

 19th Centuries- a specific etiquette

book focusing on table manner

 20th centuries- Emily Post shaped the

modern etiquette development as her
book “Etiquette: The Blue Book of
Social Usage (1992) began to gain
acceptance by the middle class 7
 Why business etiquette is vitally important?

 To create harmonious work environment and for

representing the company in the best manner
possible.

 Being well mannered means- (i) respecting others, and

(ii) treating people with courtesy and kindness.

 Career advancement (enhancing credibility and good

self- image)

 Understanding and practising basic business etiquette

shows that you care and desire to be taken seriously as
a member of a professional community
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The Basis of Etiquette Today
Remember the little things
Be civil- show courteousness
Follow the Golden Rule
Don’t try to be perfect
Change with the times
Beware of the generation gap
Be ethical

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10
 Basic Business Etiquette
1. Self- conduct (self-image)
 Making a good impression
 Working in diverse environments
 Dressing well
2. Communication skills
 Polish your introductions
 Mastering the art of conversation (in person and in
phone)
 Understanding business writing, online and off-line.
 Taking care when using technology
3. Establish effective working relationships.
 Good socialising skills
4. Handling challenges
 Dealing with difficult people (understand personal traits)
 Coping with conflict
 Handling sexuality
5. Being a well-mannered traveller 11
12
2.2. Creating Positive First Impression

If you can’t make

it good, at least
make it look good
-Bill gates-

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 2.2.1. Dressing to make good impression
 First impression will establish
the tenor of the relationship.

 Rule of thumb- Let your

wardrobe reflects the
position you wish to aspire.

 Work attire vary according

to country and industry.
Whatever you choose to wear,
keep it clean and neat. 14
 Dressing to make good impression
Common terms used for professional
attire:
Term Description
Formal  Dinner jackets (tuxedos),
wear evening gown or cocktail dress
Business  Suits with collared shirt and
attire conservative tie or tailored
dresses and suits with
conservative blouses
Business  Slacks with sports coats and
casual buttoned up shirts or dresses
and pant suit
Dress  Slacks or skirt ( no shirts or
down well worn denim) and shirt with
day collars or blouses (no tee-shirts
or tank top) colleagues do not
need to see belly button and
biceps)
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16
Business casual wear
is a growing trend
and accepted dress
code that started in
white-collar
companies in the
late 1980s and early
1990s, particularly
in the information
technology in Silicon
Valley, California.

Business casual is
also referred to as
smart casual.
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 Guidelines for Everyone:
 Strive for a tailored and professional look
 Solid colored blouses and shirt are the best bet in almost every
setting
 Don’t mix stripes and pattern
 The proper length for your sport jacket should be about ¾ inch
longer than your thumb(when your arms are straight down)
 Sleeve cuff should be approximately 5 inch from the tip of your
thumb and show about ½ inch of material below the coat sleeve.
 Don’t wear anything that can be identified with educational,
social, political or religious organizations.
 Don’t wear sunglasses inside a building
 Wear clean, polished shoes. Never wear sneakers
 Remove any body or facial piercing and wear clothes that cover
any tattoos.
 Be freshly bathed and wear clean, wrinkle-free clothes
 Stand and sit up straight, walk with pride and purpose in all you
do.

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 Guidelines for Men:
 Wear a suit with a long sleeved, colored shirt and a
conservative tie
 Never let the shirt show between the tie and the waist of the
pants
 Choose a belt that blend or match with your shoes
 Wear mid-calf socks so that you bare leg does not show when
you cross your leg
 If you wear double breasted suit, be sure to keep it buttoned
 Remove your hat as soon as you enter a building
 Remove change and keys out of your pockets to avoid unsightly
bulges and jingling sounds.
 Keep freshly shaved or trim facial hair neatly.

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Men’s attire

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21
Men’s attire

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 Guidelines for Women:
 Create a professional image
(E.g: choose a solid colored
suit and a conservatives
blouse.
 Always wear hose when
wearing skirt or dresses.
Carry an extra pair in case
you develop a run
 Select hemlines and necklines
with modesty and
professionalism in mind
 Carry a small portfolio or
purse or both
 Don’t wear backless or open-
toed shoes
 Practice moderation when
applying fragrances and make
up so that it is you who get
noticed, not the ‘extras’ that
you have added to your
appearance.
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 2.2.2. Introducing Yourself and Others

The Art of Meeting and Greeting

Making graceful introductions.
 Goal for making intro- to provide information about
each other to carry on a conversation.
 Graceful introduction – provide room for
concentration to make positive impression and
empowerment.

General guidelines on making proper introduction in business

 Formal- the most senior exec of the host co. plays
the role to make intro.
 Less formal- You play the role to facilitate the intro in
your group.
 When intro has already been made- Just introduce
yourself to everyone.

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 General guidelines on making proper introduction in business CONT…………..

 Never use the first name only unless you are invited to do so.

 To introduce a junior to a senior = senior over junior

 Name the senior person 1st, to introduce a junior to a senior.

 To introduce your boss to a client = client over boss

 Name the guest/client first, to introduce your boss to a client.

 To introduce two people of equal ranks = guest over pal

 Honour the guest from another office over your pal in
introducing two people of equal ranks (guest over pal)

 To introduce people in a group= VVIP over others

 Name the ‘important’ person first; the person being introduced
is last when introducing people in a group.

 To introduce yourself to a stranger = you over stranger

 Introduce yourself first to an alien/stranger.
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Applying titles and form of address.
 Title is crucial as they put people being introduced into
context for others.
 Always use honorific until you are invited to use the
other person’s first name.

How to behave properly when you forget names?

 Apologize

Tips on remembering names.

 Repeat the person’s name a few times.
 Use the person’s name during the conversation.
 Introduce the person to someone you already know

Correcting other’s intro.

 Be polite

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 Business Cards
Using business cards
 The wise use of business cards can be a great means of connecting you with
others on a more personal basis.

Designing business cards

 Choose a simple design. Have them printed on standard 3” x 2” card stock. Make
sure to include all you business and important information.
 Don’t get cute with your business cards. Shows professionalism.

Exchanging business cards.

 Taking someone’s card and just slip it into your pocket is insulting behaviour.
 Keep you card handy, clean and neat. Tattered or crumpled card sends the wrong
message
 Lay the card on the table or desk in front of you. This keeps the names straight
when you have several people in the setting.
 Read the business card thoroughly, repeat the person’s name for correct
pronunciation, asks something about the company or his position.
 If you forgot to bring your card, write your phone number on a piece of paper or
at the back of the other person’s card if they don’t mind.

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 Name Tag
 Name tag should be placed on
your right shoulder
 Print your first and last name
making them big and bold
 If the setting calls, print yours
and your organization’s name
 Refer to the name tag and use
the person’s name to make
introduction
Responding to an
introduction
When you are introduced:
 Use the person’ name
whenever necessary but do
not overdo. This will help
you to remember the
person’s name better.
 Be sure to smile and make
eye contact
 Treat people with respect
 Speak clearly
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Standing for an introduction
 When someone enters your Disengaging yourself
workspace while you are sitting, it  Look for cues when it is a
is polite to stand and shake hands time to move on and make a
with the person before going down graceful exit.
to business.  Provide appropriate excuse
if the conversation is too
Making small talk long or if you are after
 Small talk is vital to establish something/someone
rapport
 Spark the conversation with ok
topics like weather, current issues
and common interests
 Refrain from sensitive topics like
politics or religion

Connecting with people

Know your group and the context
of situation
Make a lively discussion.
Include everyone in the
conversation
Ask questions
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 2.2.3 Shaking hands
 Handshaking- physical greeting that accompanies a verbal greeting.
 A firm shake with good eye contact is the sign of self- confidence.

Using the perfect form.

 Extend your hand and grip the other person’s hand in such a way that
both are pushed all the way in to meet web-to-web and your thumbs are
facing straight up.
 Shake just a couple of times in a vertical up and down motion.
 End the handshake cleanly, before the introduction is over (good
handshake is held for 3 or 4 seconds).

Which category you fall into? - Let your handshake do the speak!
 Overpowering handshake- indicates dominance or control.
 Weak handshake- indicates insecurity, disinterest, shyness, and
aloofness (unfriendly).
 Awkward handshake- indicates nervousness or lack of social skills.

Consider:
 When to shake hands
 When to extend your hand 32
 When not to extend your hand
2.2.4 Interviewing basics

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 2.2.4 Interviewing basics

Do your homework on the

company
Practice your questions &
answers .
Dress the part.
Arrive early.
Make a lasting first impression
on the interviewer.
Keep it simple & stay focused.
Play it cool (give specific,
concise answer).
Use your best table manners.
End the interview with high note
Send a thank you note & follow
up.

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2.3. Maintaining Professional Relationships
 Life and workplace are permanent battlefield.

 With hierarchy comes competition, and with

competition come rivalries.

 Learn to know your team and rivals

 Why some people are unpredictable and hard

to handle?
 Attack the problem, not the person.

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 2.3. Maintaining Professional Relationships
2.3.1 Conflict Resolution
Learn to control yourself
Create a climate that foster open communication
Keep your emotions balance
Do not force others to agree with you. Appeal to common goals
that everyone can strive to achieve
Stay calm
Tap the power of silence. Use the time to compose yourself and
listen carefully
Avoid being too defensive
Learn to accept criticism
Be empathy
Keep communication open. Paraphrase, clarify and listen to
others
Manage your body language
Attempt to understand the other person
Don’t solve problem too soon 36
 2.3.2 Special Conflict Resolution

Dealing with
difficult
supervisors

Special
Conflict
resolutions

Dealing with
Office
office
romances
politics

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 Dealing with office politics
Managing office conflict.
- Every thunder has a silver lining…

• The positive side of conflict:

- Bring up issues that need attention.
- Give birth to excellence ideas & superior result.
- Nurture respect onto others.

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 Dealing with difficult supervisors
Some useful tips:
- Study his/her behavioral profile.
- Take a positive approach & solution.
- Don’t take criticism personally
- Understand his priorities and the reason behind his criticism
- Keep the line of communication open.
- If there seems no hope, be prepared to leave.

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 Dealing with office politics
managing conflict with peers..
-Vent if you must, but not at
work.
- Put yourself in the other’s
shoes.
-Practice active listening.
-Clarify your doubts.
-Compromise ideas but not your
ethics.
- Restrict comments to behavior,
not personality.
-Watch your language.
-Look at things positively & in the
big picture.
Some tips to limit potential damage
to yourself and career.
 Help your organization and
coworkers achieve positive goals
 Be positive in all your
interactions
 Create a professional image by
avoiding whining and complaining
 Don’t criticize or belittle your
coworkers.
 Make it clear to anyone that you
are not a gossiper and prove it.
 Don’t burn your bridges behind
you by making enemies or
developing reputation as a
trouble maker.
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 Dealing with office romance
Romantic relationship at
work.
- Flirting.
-Dating.
-Problematic romances.
 between two people of
unequal rank,
 company reps and clients.
* Check your company policy!
Some tips to limit potential damage
to yourself and career. Don’t:
 Date any married coworker
 Date a direct supervisor or
subordinate
 Flirt
 Be a serial dater
 Engage in sexual harassment
Probably Okay
 Date a colleague
 Staff from other department
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Sexual harassment.
- A form of sex discrimination that violates Penal code Section 509
(Malaysia).

-Occurs whenever:
-Someone promises you a job or promotion in return for sexual
favors.

-You are demoted or fired refusing to comply with a request for

sex.

-You are explicitly required to engage in certain sexual behavior

to get or to keep a job.

-Someone else’s sexual behavior creates a hostile or abusive work

environment that changes the conditions of your job.

- 3 types of sexual harassment:

i) Quid-pro quo;
ii) the creation of a hostile environment, and;
iii) explicit harassment.
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i) Quid pro-quo harassment (this for that)
- The most obvious.
- Employee is physically propositioned by another party.

ii) Creation of a hostile work environment.

where employee may comment on your appearance,
circulates obscene pictures, gives sexual objects, asking
about your sex life, or tells an offensive jokes.

iii) Explicitly stated sexual harassment.

- Rises above the previous two in severity (harshness).
-You are given hint.

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SEXUAL HARRASSMENT AND Avoiding sexual harassment.
PUNITIVE DAMAGE.
- Conduct yourself
Basis of defense in sexual professionally.
harassment suits. -Take care of your
appearance.
- Where (i) an employer can prove -People’s personalities change
that he has exercised when traveling.
“reasonable care” to prevent - Keep your ears open to
and promptly correct any sexual rumors about sexual harassers.
harassing behavior; and (ii) The -Check your company policy.
plaintiff unreasonably failed to -Don’t discuss your sex life at
take advantage of any work.
preventative or corrective
opportunities provided by the * Check your employee policy
employer, or otherwise handbook!
unreasonably failed to avoid
harm; then (iii) the employer
will not be liable for the hostile
work environment to that point.
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 2.3.3 Business Travel
Learn to cope with the unexpected when
travelling to avoid stress and frustration
Taking the “war” out of the road warrior
Recognize the importance of manner in all encounters
to avoid confrontations and their negative fallouts.
But how?
 Planning ahead- your attire & schedule your time
 Dealing with service employees
Explain your problem courteously
Seek out for solutions that work best for both of you
Thank the personnel for the assistance even if it does not up
to your expectation
 Remain professional
Dealing with seatmates
Go with the flow 45
 2.3.4 Personal Workspace Courtesies
Before entering
 Respect others’ workspace
 Knock or pause before
entering a private office
 Wait until the person
finishes the call before
entering
 Respect others’ cubicle as
a personal workspace
 Don’t’ disturb others with
your act or voice
After entering
 If you are infrequent
visitors, wait to be
seated
 Don’t move anything or
spread your papers on
others’ desk
 Excuse yourself if the
person needs to make a
phone call
 Keep your visit short and
to the point
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 2.3.5 Basic Etiquette for the Golf Course
 Be knowledgeable
 Dress appropriately
 Be quiet
 Respect the course
 Respect all players
 Decide the order of the play
 Keep the game moving. Respect
others’ time
 Understand the rule of the game
 Practice fair play

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48
2.3.6 Leaving a Job
Regardless of the reason, remember
to:
 Keep your resume updated
 Be positive. Acknowledge your
strengths and weaknesses. Never
badmouth your previous company
 Provide sufficient notice
 Never “burn bridges”. Be
professional
 Learn from the situation, make
necessary changes and prepare for
the new situation/job
 Thank your well wishers. Write
thank you notes to everyone
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