Andie Thompson

Communication Skills Journal

Communication 1010
Paul Skousen
Communication Competence
The assessment showed that I communicate my best in smaller groups. I tend to be the
most comfortable in more intimate settings and I am more aware of my interpersonal
communication skills and that helps me connect with others more feely.
I struggle with public speaking and communicating in large group settings. I
struggle with social anxiety so when I have to present I worry a lot and feel very tense.
In larger groups I feel I have a harder time processing others non verbal and verbal
communion because I am nervous. The reading gave lots of great advice about taking
deep breaths, using grounding techniques to feel more comfortable in these situations.

Perception and Self

I am a former member of the LDS Church, although I don’t support the church
anymore the values I was taught as a child impact my perception of others. The culture
in Utah has always been very open and friendly which has also had a big impact on how
I tend to judge people asbeing friendly or not nice people. After reading about the
primacy effect where we place more value on first impressions, I realized I have written
a lot of people off as being mean, or closed off, based off only one interaction with them.
Now that I am aware of the primacy effect, when I meet someone instead of
making instant judgments about their character, I can remember that this interaction in a
very small representation of who that person actually is.
My family has had a very important impact on my self perception. I was the
oldest child and was given the role of a leader and caretaker at a very younger age. To
this day I still see myself as someone who is a leader and I am a professional full-time
caregiver.
One area I plan to improve is my own self efficacy. As a student, I often
underestimate my own abilities to succeed and engage in lots of negative self talk when
I am stressed. Being able to soothe myself and say “hey, I got this” in a stressful
moment is something I work on everyday.

Verbal and Non Verbal Messages

Everyone should be in tuned to their non verbal communication habits in order to
effectively communicate. As a nanny, I have to translate non-verbal communication
every day as well as be aware of my own non-verbal communication. I have to be
aware of the cues that the kids I am watching are projecting because they tell me if they
are sleepy, hungry, overstimulated, hurt, or content. I used to make my of my girls
laughs every time I told her no. I soon realized she was laughing because she was
uncomfortable and nervous and not because she thought it was funny I said no. I
misread her communication and now that I am more aware of it I can help her feel safe
when I do have to say no to her request.
When I think of examples of people who cross the line with non verbal
communication, I first think of the many experiences I have had with men in the work
place where they have felt the right to touch my body in a non sexual Manner. There
have been times I have had men put their hands on my lower back to pass by me I find
it to be a very inappropriate display of power in the workplace.I have heard of studies
that suggest men use psychical touch to assert dominance where women use psychical
touch to create connection.

Interpersonal Communication
I am choosing to focus on the relationship between myself and my best friend of
many years. We have been friends fo such a long time we have had our fair share of
conflict. We both have a lot of respect for each other and have had many discussions
on our own unique conflict
styles and what we both feel when there is conflict between us. One theory of
interpersonal communication I think is really useful to learn about is identifying conflict
patterns. The four most common triggers for conflict are criticism, annoyance, demand,
and rejection. One thing I have noticed when we needs some space in our friendship is
we can be really critical of each other. This for me is always the first sign that there
might be tension in our relationship that needs to be addressed. I think that by being
aware of conflict triggers, we can do better to avoid conflict all together. When we
become familiar with conflict patterns, we also can be more
reflective communicators and adjust our own behaviors to manage conflict.

Listening Skills
I believe I am an effective listener, but I have not always been one. I have was
diagnosed with ADHD as a child which is a cognitive processing disorder that can effect
our attention span and listening skills. As a child and young adult I didn’t really
understand my ADHD diagnoses and it lead me to be a bad listener.
I would constantly interrupt people, never held eye contact during conversations,
and couldn't keep conversations on track. I have had to learn to hard way that I wasn’t
the best listener because my relationships would suffer. My friends would accuse me of
being careless when my attention wander off during conversations, my teachers could
always tell when I was daydreaming and not tuned into lectures.
 Small annoyances like noises, change in climate, or the
sounds of others talking would make me instantly lose my train of thought. I often still
am caught in situations where I have to apologize mid sentence for not remembering
what I am going to say.
Now that I am an adult, I am hyper aware of my listening skills because I know
that being a good listener is a life skill and I have experienced the stigma associated
with bad listening. I always apologize if I interrupt someone unintentionally and make
sure they have room to finish their thought. I now know that eye contact communicates
not only that you are listening, but that I respect your time as a speaker.

Final Summary
One the biggest take aways I have learned about my own communication
abilities is that effective communication takes work and lots of self awareness. In the
past I rarely took the time to self reflect on my own communication habits and was not
very self aware of myself or how others perceived me.
One Aspect of my communication that I want to work on is being more present
when I am socializing with people. I struggle with anxiety and I can see that reflected in
all of my journal promptings. I really loved learning about non verbal communication
because it has helped me be more aware of the non verbal cues and signals I send out
when trying to make friends.