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Sara Li 

Professor Ogden

English 001A

6 July 2022

No Fear to Writing 

It was the summer of 2020, the summer before my senior year, and the summer of

the pandemic. The 17th-year-old me stayed up until the middle of the night eating soggy

noodles from the leftovers. I counted the days that I have left before the college

application deadline. My door was opened, and the light from outside brought brightness

into my room. It was my mom rushing me to go to sleep. I finished the food then cleaned

myself. I close my eyes and continue brainstorming in my head.    

For days, I sat in front of the computer for a whole afternoon staring at the blank

documents as time went by. I cannot tell how many nights I have stayed up or how much

paper I have used for brainstorming. The UC School requires students to respond to a

total of 4 personal insight questions. Each response is limited to a maximum of 350

words. It went well during the brainstorming. I know exactly what to write about myself.

I went over all the afterschool activities and clubs I participated in high school. The first

topic that popped up in my mind was speech. I joined the speech and debate team

throughout my high school years. There it is! I set my first topic on the Speech. Once I

make up my mind, I do not change it anymore. I knew somewhere in my college

application I must talk about how much effort and time I have dedicated to the speech

team and tournaments. I completed my first rough draft in one sitting. My back hurt from
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sitting too long, but I did not stop typing. I did not want to lose my inspiration and ideas

in my head. 

My rough draft was about one paragraph long, and the draft covered all my

speech experiences. I listed the hours I put in and the award that I received. However,

after reading the draft, I just felt something was missing. There are some things that I

have missed out on in my writing. It feels like my writing is dead, and there is no life in

it. My writing is neither sweet nor sour; it is indeed plain and tasteless. That is when I

found out how stuck I was in writing. I ask myself if I am just summarizing a paragraph

of what I have done in school, how my writing make me stand out as a strong candidate. I

know myself too well. It is just difficult to make people know about you with 350 words.

There are masses of information that I wanted to share with the admissions officer, but

when it came to writing it was hard to get the word on paper.

I developed so much fear in writing. Eventually it stopped me from making

progress. I turned to the school counselor for help and advice. It gave me some hope

since counselors are the expert in college application essays. That was during COVID;

we could not have any in-person meetings with our counselor. I wrote a formal email

asking her if we can go over my essay through zoom. She replied to me within a day and

told me that she would love to help and go over the essay with me. At that moment, my

heart was full of joy. I just felt a warm stream flow down from my heart to my belly. She

gave me a hand when I needed help. It is like encouragement to me saying, “Don’t be

scared, I got you back.” We met up through zoom. When I joined the meeting, she had

already turned on her camera, then greeted me with the warmest smile. I smiled back too.

Her kind smile and sweet voice brought light to my world. When she turned on her
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camera, I also felt my world turn on too. It has been so depressing facing black words

every day. Her encouragement and advice brought color to my writing. It seemed all of a

sudden my world was full of life and color. 

Step by step, my counselor taught me how to write an application essay. She

shared that creative writing is not about the style or complex sentences. The key is to

answer why the challenges made you become a better person or what you have learned

from the obstacle. It is important to understand the prompt. She said imagine you were on

a battlefield; you must learn about the enemy before your attack. In the article Reduce

Anxiety about Writing College Papers with These Tips from Rutgers–Camden Professor'',

the author shared, “A real paper doesn’t just report information about a topic or

summarize what you have read. Instead of topics, think about questions you want

answers to and that your readers want answers to” (McLaughlin). It is not about

answering the question, but understanding what the question is looking for. Learning to

analyze prompts is the first step in writing. In the short essay I explained how I learn

from failure and challenge. Instead of whining, taking a negative approach, or feeling

bitter, I learn to adopt a positive attitude. I have overcome those obstacles and made

myself a better person. In the last paragraph, I explain how this positive attitude helps to

enhance my academic achievement in school. Understanding the prompt makes the

writing less scary. 

It is hard to find direction in this mist. I was like a lost sheet in the wildness.

There is no companion and no guidance by my side. My counselor is my shepherd, and

she gave direction and care. In Sherman Alexie’s narrative story, Alexie shared how he

loved reading under his father's influence. “My father loved books, and since I loved my
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father with an aching devotion, I decided to love books as well” (Alexie). Alexie falls in

love with reading like his father. His father is the one who introduced Alexie to reading.

As for my counselor, she taught me how to enjoy writing.

With the counselor's guidance, I was able to find the direction in writing my

college essay. Not only that, my counselor also introduced me to a college application

workshop. In the workshop, there are many students who are also facing the same

struggles and problems as me. I was not the only one who struggled with the personal

insight question. In the group, we share writing ideas and give general advice to each

other. According to the advice from a professor at Rutgers University, “Writing at the

college level is learning to revise on the basis of how actual readers, including the writer,

respond to the writing” (McLaughlin). I learn how to revise from my peers. With the help

of the counselor and peers, I was able to overcome the fear of writing a college

application essay.  

From the writing experience, I learned bad writing came out of fear. This is what

the famous horror novelist once said, “I'm convinced that fear is at the root of most bad

writing…Good writing is often about letting go of fear and affectation” (King 82). The

fear of deadline pressure has taken all my passion away. It is so intense to write under

pressure, and there is no joy in writing. Without my counselor or my peers, I would not

have had the courage to overcome the fear in writing. To write, I must overcome fear

first. 

Again, I was drafting and brainstorming my next personal insight question for

college in the middle of the night. This time I had full confidence in myself. Slowly, I

type out the essay word by word. The moonlight shines through the window. There was
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not much light in the room. It was dark as always, yet, my writing was brighter than ever

before. If you get a chance to read my essay, you will definitely have a good

understanding of me. I write for joy, and I write without fear. To write with fear is like to

write without personality. Looking back, the college application essay was such a big

deal at the time. I appreciated this learning and growing experience in writing. 

 
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Works Citied

McLaughlin, T. (n.d.). Reduce anxiety about writing college papers with these tips from

Rutgers–Camden professor. RutgersCamden Campus News. Retrieved July 10,

2022, from https://news.camden.rutgers.edu/2019/08/reduce-anxiety-about-

writing-college-papers-with-these-tips-from-rutgers-camden-professor/

Alexie, Sherman.  "Superman and Me."  [Los Angeles Times 19 Apr. 1998.]  The

McGraw-Hill Reader: Issues across the Disciplines. Ed. Gilbert H. Muller. 11th

ed. Boston: McGraw-Hill, 2011. 580-583. Print.

King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. New York: Scribner, 2000. Print.
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Sara Li
1226 Euclid Ave
San Gabriel, CA,91776

July 11, 2022

Professor Ogden

Dear Professor Ogden,

I did not take too much time in deciding which literary events I wanted to reflect on.
Once I set my topic on the college application story. I immediately started drafting it. I
truly appreciated that the professor introduced us to freewriting in class. That is the
strategy I try to use during my drafting process. It turned out great. I type none stop as I
am transferring my ideas and thoughts onto paper. One challenge I face during the
composting process is to include a text-to-self connection to Sherman Alexei or Mike
Rose. At first, I was limited to the idea that I could only connect their story to my literacy
experience. I was trying to find the connection between the learning outcomes in our
literacy experience. After rereading Sherman Alexei’s narrative, I was able to find the
connection in the inspiration part of our literacy experience. In the revision phase, I try to
add more detail and development at the beginning and the end of my essay. I believe one
issue that my essay still has is to work more on the scenes. I hope to use vivid details to
make my narrative more practical and related to life.

Yours faithfully,

Sara Li