The Utah Foster Care and Adoption Facts and Myths

There are thousands of children in foster care all over the world, sitting there waiting for
someone to come give them a chance to be part of a family again. Utah Foster Care believes that
every child deserves a loving family and a safe environment. By committing to help, heal, and
enhance the lives of abused and neglected children, you are also contributing your strength, your
home, and your future (Utah Foster Care, 2022). Many people think that fostering a child is too
much work and they make excuses as to why they think they cannot become a foster parent.
However, most of these thoughts are myths and I will show you why.

MYTH #1: Fostering is the best way to adopt a child.

FACT #1: The objective for children in foster care is to
reunite them with their biological families, adoption is not
the greatest approach to extend your family. Foster
parents should be supportive of reuniting families. There
is a different pathway for families who wish to adopt
children, but fostering is not the ideal option to
permanently grow a family.

This myth makes me think of the movie The Blind

Side. In this movie, the family that takes in Michael does
so willingly. They do not expect for Michael to stay with
them, and if he decided to go back to his biological mother, they would let him make that
decision. What the Tuohy family wants if for Michael to be safe. They give him clothes, food,
and a roof over his head. They willingly shelter and protect him right off the bat. They were not
expecting to adopt him, and even though they technically were not foster parents, they acted as
they were.

MYTH #2: I am too old to foster or adopt a child.

FACT #2: According to Utah law, a person must be ten
years older than the kid they are adopting. However,
unless the pair is a cousin of the kid, the Division of
Child and Family Services (DCFS) may be unwilling to
place a two-year-old with a couple in their late 50s or
early 60s. However, parents in this age range could be
ideal for teenagers and school-aged children.

MYTH #3: I cannot foster a child because I am single.

FACT #3: In some cases, the Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS) might believe that a
particular child would benefit from being raised by a single parent. DCFS does offer priority to
two-parent families by regulation, but they are truly seeking for a home that can effectively
satisfy the child's needs.
MYTH #4: Fostering a younger child would be more beneficial than a teenager.
FACT #4: Teenagers might
be a more difficult transition
into the home. However, they
remember more of their
biological family and the
trauma than younger kids.
Almost half of Utah's 2700
foster children are 11 or older.
Children who "age out" of
foster care are more likely
than their peers to encounter
unemployment, early
pregnancy, homelessness, and
jail (Statewide Facts, 2016).

We see this myth of

teenagers being more difficult
heavily portrayed in the
movie Instant Family. In this movie, the couple (Pete and Ellie), go to a foster care community
days event to meet a child to potentially adopt. They find a group of teenagers and are scared to
approach them. One of the teenagers sees this and calls them out telling them to go play with the
little kids. They end up being struck with her attitude and they take in her, who is fifteen, and her
younger brother and sister. While she comes with her fair share of challenges, she is exactly what
they needed, and at the end she realizes she needed them too.

MYTH #5: Foster care is an expensive route (What

is Foster Care, 2022).
FACT #5: Like caring for any child, it can come
with its expenses. However, foster parents receive
monthly stipends from the state. This helps cover
essentials such as personal hygiene, clothing,
allowance, and food. Children also have support such
as a Medicaid card for dental, medical, and mental
health services until they turn 18 years old.
MYTH #6: All foster parents must be a heterosexual married
couple.
FACT #6: Foster parents can be any sexual orientation and
gender. They must be able to fit the necessary categories, such as
age, a stable home for the child, and pass the background check.
Some states might have certain requirements, like in Utah they
must be married. However, three to four percent of adoptions are
made by same sex couples (LGBT Adoption, 2022).

MYTH #7: The biological family can take them back even after adoption.
FACT #7: Children adopted from the foster care system have had their parental rights revoked or
their original parents have given DCFS custody. DCFS attempts to seek kin or close family
friends who may be able to take the children in and are usually ruled out by the time a kid is
publicly recruited. No one from the original family can take them away from their adoptive
family once the adoption is finalized in court.

MYTH #8: Fostering a child would be too hard emotionally.

FACT #8: While it can be emotional and easy to get attached to the
children, emotional connection is beneficial for the children. These
children suffer from trauma and sometimes abuse. It can become
dangerous in the home if the foster parents do not get attached.
When experiencing attachment issues in infancy and young
adolescence, this can cause the child to form a Reactive Attachment
Disorder (Wright, 2019). They need a person to deeply care for them
and make them feel safe. The more vulnerability and connection
expressed in the home can lessen the damage of the attachment
issues.

MYTH #9: There is a perfect time to foster a child.

FACT #9: Many people use the wrong timing or being too busy as
an excuse to not foster a child (Fcmedia, 2021). You can be a full-
time employee and still foster a child as there are daycare
services. While there are circumstances such as family, health,
and financial emergencies that would not be suitable to foster in
the midst of. However, what children need is a stable home, a
family in agreement, and the desire to care for a child who needs
help.
MYTH #10: The fostering process is too complicated.
FACT #10: The process of becoming a foster parent in Utah is simpler than you would expect.
The basic steps of becoming a foster parent in Utah are listed below (What is Foster Care, 2022).
1. Complete an online application.
2. Schedule a home interview
3. Meet the consultant in home and discuss the process as well as relevant family history.
4. Complete necessary paperwork and documentation.
5. Complete necessary courses.
6. Complete a walk-through of the house and neighborhood to ensure it is safe for the
child. Then make any changes if necessary.

Fostering a child, or many children, can be a scary thought. Of course, it comes with its
share of difficulties. The goal of foster care is for the child to be reunited with the biological
family if that is an option. This can hurt, because you can grow to love these children,
especially after making a connection with them. However, this is about them. A child needs
nourishment and nurturing. They need to be able to express vulnerability and to feel
protected. They can’t do this when they are stuck in a shelter until they turn eighteen and age
out. Then, they are left on their own. You can help guide them and teach them and show
them there are people all over that care about them. They need to feel wanted and loved. You
can help them heal the trauma they have been through. Fostering a child does not have to be
scary and there are plenty of resources to go to and receive assistance. Those children need
someone to go home to everyday. They need stability and most importantly, love. You can
make that difference in a child’s life.
 Works Cited

Become a foster parent. Utah Foster Care. (2022, June 22). https://utahfostercare.org/become-a-
foster-parent/

Fcmedia. (2021, October 22). 18 common myths about foster care: Foster care. Fostercare.
Retrieved August 4, 2022, from https://fostercare.com/18-common-myths-about-foster-
care#:~:text=Foster%20Care%20Myth%20%2317%2D%20I,job%3B%20or%20during
%20financial%20struggles.

Key facts and statistics. National Foster Care Month - Child Welfare Information Gateway.
(n.d.). https://www.childwelfare.gov/fostercaremonth/awareness/facts/

Laiche, C. (2018, May 31). Common Foster Care Myths and Misconceptions. Walden Family
Services. Retrieved from https://waldenfamily.org/common-foster-care-myths-and-
misconceptions/

LGBT adoption: FAQ's: A new beginning: Infant adoption agency. A New Beginning | Infant
Adoption Agency. (2022, June 30). https://adoptanewbeginning.org/adopting/lgbt-
adoption/

Positives and negatives within the foster care system. Adoption.org. (n.d.).
https://adoption.org/positives-negatives-within-foster-care-system

Statewide facts: Teens in foster care - home - utah foster care. (2016, September).
http://utahfostercare.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ufc-factsheet-teens.pdf

What is Foster Care: Utah foster care: Utah youth. Youth Village. (2022, February 24).
https://youthvillage.org/our-programs/become-a-foster-parent/?
gclid=Cj0KCQjwlemWBhDUARIsAFp1rLWD-
_AsRsK6yspZPuOLU7l2SPkYIWUmJrYSeXe1HgIiDbnPSKW6zlMaAnBREALw_wcB

Wright, R. (2019, January 11). The 7 most common foster care myths. Hope & Home - Foster
Care Colorado Springs. https://hopeandhome.org/foster-care-myths/