The Essence Of Patriarchy In Liberal Spaces

In the early 20st century, the Indian middle class was charmed by the principles of Mahatma
Gandhi about non-cooperation, civil disobedience and wearing and using ‘swadeshi goods’. The
added influence of western liberal values gave the sense to rise above their menial caste
discrimination, prejudices, avoiding dowry and a new identity for the people who belonged to the
lower strata of the society (outside the conventional system). A new chapter had started to
unfold in India, a chapter that was believed to have given weightage to the pragmatic way of
living, bit by bit leaving behind the traditional approaches. India saw the cases of inter-caste
marriages, the same was the case with the parents of Kamala Das, a union made to avoid
giving dowry and breaking the rigid caste norms. Kamala Das's father was a great disciple of
Gandhi who followed the principle of simplicity religiously, hence, ordering his wife to only wear
Khadi - white or off white and no jewellery or additional ornaments except the ‘mangalsutra’.
Although even with this sense of modernity that started to develop in India, we can witness the
entry of Kamala Das in the autobiographical piece - Park Street Home. One can't ignore the
toned down patriarchy of the Indian Household. The fact Kamala Das describes the event of
their parent's wedding as, “when my father got married”, indicates the lack of choice her mother
had when deciding when to get married as if her opinion about getting married doesn't matter.
The way Indian culture values the symbols of suhag (sindur or mangalsutra), and only to be
followed by women who are married and not their partners. The symbols which have mostly
acted as the signs of ownership of husbands on their wives are again beautifully cited in the
chapter when Kamala Das's father asks her wife only to retain the mangalsutra on her visibly
widow-like appearance. The lack of protest from her mother's side indicates the domestic
brainwashed upbringing of Indian women, ‘Never to question your father and husband, treat
them like gods’. The fact her mother was mortally scared of the visible male figurines in her life
further clarifies the point. This episode again forces us to see that the Indian women often act as
puppets to their husbands, going as far as infringing their right to choose what to wear and what
not to wear, what ideologies to follow or not follow. As if the women are not smart enough to
make decisions in their life, implying on them being the weaker sex with a poor sense of
judgement.
The concept of Indian marriages is flawed, even though dowry, sati and other women-centric
conventional practices are removed, the existing double standards for the roles to be played by
the male partner and the female partner are painstaking. All the compromises and adjustments
are to be expected from the women who have just migrated to an alien environment. Even
though it is the most toxic union the women are being pushed in unwillingly, they still bear the
pressure to make it appear functional for the society. They have subdued their voice, their
demands and possibly their right of being treated with respect and equity. To keep up with the
demands and physical desires of the husband at the stake of one's physical and mental health.
Kamala Das similarly explores their parent's relationship as, “dissimilar and horribly mated” and
the reason she states why it worked was “mother's timidity helped to create an illusion of
domestic harmony which satisfied the relatives and friends.” Justifying the ongoing toxic trait of
women being the sole authority of keeping the marriage intact.
The next string of pressure on the newly married Indian couple especially on the women is to
bear a child. A stated fact of the old people in our family to have children at a specified age as
the biological clock is ticking, again undermining the choice of the woman who has to carry the
baby. Taking control over her fertility rights, also to produce an offspring with desired looks and
sex. Although, in Kamala Das's piece it is not evident whether her gender was the area of
concern to her parents. Though the absence of ideal skin colour and features was an unspoken
issue, the former and her brother faced, “We must have disappointed our parents a great deal.
They did not tell us so, but in every gesture and in every word it was evident.” It is usually
considered a shortcoming of a woman for being not able to reproduce desirable offspring.

Kamala Das with her honest and bold confessions in the autobiographical piece about the
relationship of her parents has tried to make it relatable content for any woman on the planet. To
make them understand what they have faced is not something restrained to them, it is a
universal implied pain. She has in the broadest sense tried to make vividly clear the loneliness
of her mother in the marriage. The lack of point of view narration in the piece from her mother's
perspective further speaks of the dominance of her father and the patriarchal atmosphere in her
family, the lack of her mother's opinion about the things she has to adhere to. The subtle
objectification of her mother by her father, as if the former doesn't have a purpose or desires of
her own. She has also wonderfully shown the traditional roles that are thrust upon the women in
the so-called liberal society. She has successfully embodied the pain and agony the women
have to go through physically, mentally and emotionally in the patriarchal society under the veil
of liberal values. Hence the autobiographical piece does justice in symbolizing the toned down
patriarchy in liberal spaces.