Remember when both of us were asking each other, wondering whether poems

are inspired when we are sad or probably when we have everything in our life?

I knew what it is, but I have no courage to tell you.

That one muse.

You deserve to know how perfect you are and these letters are all those unspoken words of
mine to you. I want you to know I valued the time whenever we are together. I do not want to
lose you.
MILESTONE PAGE 1
the musical carousel - Apr 2013

This was the beginning that I could feel myself engulfed with notes of worries and
fears.

When I saw you again with all of our friends after years, my heart tried to tell me that
you will be the one who will be filling that empty space. I could feel that when I looked
into your eyes and we hug.

I was trying to warmth myself by not looking into those lingering beautiful eyes of
yours, piercing through the walls which I have built over the years.
April 27, 2013

I have no control on how this happens

Now, you are the one who stays in my mind

Stealing my daydreams with all of the what ifs

And the fleece to the coldness of my nights
till five – April 22, 2013

Every time you asked me out, my nerves will be out of tune with the beat of my heart.

Anticipating every moment that I could hold onto.

I will try to remember your laugh and voice so that I will not crave for it at the end of the
night.

I could repeat the jokes that you made, making sure you know that I listened to every bit of it.
Laughing casually hiding my fluttering heart.

I always find your sweet smiles genuine. I have seen hundreds of dimples, but I did not
anticipate that yours could make me steal glances whenever you look away.

Those perfectly shaped lips of yours makes my mind imagine its tenderness.

I look forward to those moments of intentional touches and stealing glances.

At the end of the night when we bid each other goodbye, the scent of your perfume and
flashbacks keeps me awake till five.

I told you I like you more than just how I felt towards a friend.
April 2013

I know you could hold onto that fear. There is nothing frightening in the scene of the
movie.
Yet, you decided to scream at the end and hugged me.

In that moment, if we were the only two people without our friend, I would have hold onto you
back, longer. Those have been in my mind, the things I would like to do with you.

The only moments that I remember about this movie is how bland it is. The moment when
our fingers held onto each other’s and how I could not stop thinking about you when you are
right beside me.
miss me...miss you – May 16, 2013

The rays of sun shines saturating the dusk

Your text said that you missed my nonsensical

While here I am missing you too

That awkward wants burning my days

The weird unexplainable flashbacks of you in my nights

I am hoping you do something to this

You know how I am worried that I will hurt the deep part of my being.
I will not be making any first step towards you.
Rather than enduring the possibilities of getting my heart hurt, I will rather leave everything
and let you be with the person you are in love with.
fears – May 17, 2013

This unknown ticks of assumptions and worries are back in place again
Wild guesses start to haunt my mind

I kept asking myself the reasons for this overwhelming uncertainty

Whenever the moment this uncertainty clouded my unclear mind
My immediate decision is to let you go.

You have the rights to be with anyone.

How can I go on with this relationship if this fear never leaves?

yellow motorbike – June 23, 2013

I have never stood still staring into someone else’s form like how I did yesterday with you.
You on your motorbike, riding to the lot passing through the others making your gorgeous
self known to everyone.

I was speechless.
My heart stopped beating.

I could not stop smiling the whole time since you arrived.
Surprisingly, my brain and the blood to my heart could still function the whole time my eyes
were fixated at you.

You never stopped smiling since you get down from your bike with grace.

When you were walking towards us, I had to search for my breath to revive my whole being
again.

Those beautiful dimple smile of yours. You looked so beautiful under the dim streetlight.
Charming and stunning. That smile that could probably heat anyone from the cold.

Our lingering looks, fixating our eyes with each other nearly made me forgotten about your
friend who was beside me all that time.

That intense air between you and me could tune-up the soundtrack of those bland films.
Illustrating musical notes of longings and anticipations.
secret feelings – June 23, 2013

Sometimes
There are moments that happened or feelings that need to be kept forever

Anything that could possibly turned out to be negative consequences

Consequences that could involve losing this friendship

My solutions to these were to avoid meeting you as often as we have been doing for the past
months. I could tell you what I feel with specifics but my worries of being rejected and
avoided by you eventually made me think of it many times. When I am still not sure about
what I am feeling is all about.
I have no idea what I am expecting from you when I am not sure about myself.