English Assessment Australian Perspectives Annabel Ramsay & Gabriella OGrady Annie: A dramatic dialogue and an appropriation of Alice

Pungs Unpolished Gem. Bella: My family were struggling Cambodians when my father took it upon himself to learn English. When our family were this close to being refugees, we were asked the question. Canada, or Australia? My father knew nothing about either country, except that Canada had snow. So Australia, it was. 3 years later in Footscray Melbourne, I still felt slightly unsettled and missed home. Migrants dont assimilate, I was told by my classmates in politics class. They all come here and stick together and dont bother to learn the language. Annie: Pursuing the Australian Dream, hah, as if. I didnt know the English, it hurt me to see my children, my husband chattering on night after night at the dinner table. Despite my tireless work to reinvent our culture into our new life, to hold onto some of our Asian customs, my family were oblivious to the traditional meals I laid before them each night. Bella: We hardly noticed the food, so engrossed in our babble about our lives. Annie: I sat there staring at them, trying to make sense of the aliens I called my family. It was the next afternoon and I bundled my four children into the car, telling them of my plan. Bella: She told me to look up on the map a place my father had suggested. Annie: I was going to learn the English. Bella: Now she said to me, no matter what. Annie: Attending my first class I didnt understand half of what the stupid woman said and the stupid worksheets about a man with a tin on his head. Stupid idiot. Bella: She knew how to say that at least. My mother didnt understand the relevance of Australian history, I on the other hand found myself fascinated during my schooling years. I took particular shine to the democratic government, as did my Grandmother who blessed Father Government every day for giving old people money. Annie: It was such a dramatic change to go from a Communist nation to a place like Australia. My fears were still present, though irrational. Bella: Although I ticked English as a second language on official forms, I was beginning to think in English. The more I studied the dumber I got. I could not even answer the simplest questions my mother posed to me. Annie: I grew frustrated, when Alice was unable to answer the simplest questions, nor translate.

Bella: My mothers questions became more difficult than the literature we had to study in class. I felt as if I was losing my Asian heritage. Annie: I stopped the English lessons one day. Bella: WHY? I asked her. Annie: Who would I speak the English to? Bella: Hearing this I ended the conversation silently left feeling guilty. Constantly sighing and lying and dying - that is what being a Chinese woman meant, and I wanted nothing to do with it." I wanted to shadow the Australian style. Annie: She wanted to shadow the Australian style. My desire came to be similar. I began with food. I got Alice to take me to the grocery store. There we would buy slabs of meat, steak, tomato sauce, and broccoli. On the way, there were loud boys, yelling Chink, go home, swearing. I turned to Alice in unfamiliarity of these words. Bella: It doesnt matter mum, they are just telling us to walk on the left. Thats what they do here, in Australia Mum. In all honesty, here was a turning point. From now on, my priority was conforming. Annie: My own mother passed away due to a stroke. This was so hard to deal with, I felt housebound. I was mean to my children, I was rude. But I only realised this much later. Bella: After moving here to Australia it became evident of the many stereotypes and assumptions. I seemed to fit that criteria perfectly and it made me wonder why Australians think that way. I was the typical Asian student. High marks, selective school, study, study, study. My parents had aspirations for me, that I may go on to be what a traditional Cambodian woman may be. Annie: I am very proud of Alice. Although she did become a lawyer, she has pursued writing also. At first I was disgraced by this, however it was important to Alice to be able to voice her emotions through literature. There were some things that Alice did when she had reached the peak of her adolescence that made me worried, sad, ashamed. I thought to myself, Soon she would make ghost food, for her white ghost husband who had just finished working at his ghost law firm. It felt as if slowly our culture was diminishing. Bella: I remember high school. That final year was tough, soon enough my results were a mirror of my hard work and resilient attitude. I left home. With this move, I left my old self too. I was the changed Alice. Australian but Asian. With an understanding of my past and an appreciation of where I was presently. The degree of opportunities put before me were endless, and I was able to choose my life. From then on I knew I had drifted, perhaps from the ideal, who or what I was mean to be.

Annie: At this point, my firstborn was leaving me. My husband had a purpose. I had an internal struggle. I wished we had chosen Canada. Maybe then Alice wouldnt want to leave me for university. Cold and snow stops that desire, you know. Bella: My father, siblings and I slowly morphed as the years grew on. Annie: As my husband prospered I had no need to work. I lived a life of luxury, or so it was to me. However I found myself lost, turning the TV on to hear broad Aussie accents with syllables I could not comprehend nor piece together. Bella: I am so grateful. I feel like I owe so much to my family, after all their hardship. Its hard for others to understand migration, and how difficult, how lonely or how brilliant it can be. Annie: I am eternally thankful. I am happy and healthy. I am capable. I work with my husband. We run two electrical stores. My mother taught me, Bella: My grandmother taught me Annie and Bella: to cultivate a heart of love, that knows no anger. The boat sails by but the shore remains. Negotiate a river by following its bends; enter a country by following its customs. A Cambodian Proverb.