FINAL Demigods Aliens and Ordinary People 06.02.2021-1

What Business leaders have to say
about Demigods, Aliens, and Ordinary

People...
“In his newest book, Paul offers a creative look at three

archetypes of leadership. Then, using some wonderful case
studies and anecdotes, he shows how ordinary people –
those of us who realize we aren’t Bill Gates and his peers –
can enjoy super success. It’s an easy, quick read that will give
you some new insights about how to lead and succeed.”
— Andrew Neitlich,
Director, Center for Executive Coaching
“I recommend the book for its easiness to read, wittiness

and clarity. Every chapter brings a new perspective, adding
another brick to the final edifice of excellence in human
achievements. For the young generation it’s excellent
material about how to become better, not necessarily
winning but by simply trying to win and to be amongst the
best in your domain.”
— Hary Olaru,
Vice President and Partner, IBM Services
“With his personal experience in international business

and broad general interests, Paul Renaud always succeeds
in providing new insights and giving readers something to
further think about. In his latest book, he draws interesting
parallels between the road to success for top athletes and
business executives. A great read!”
— Herman Wierenga,
Chief Operating Officer for North America at ORTEC
“Paul Renaud’s coaching experience and passion for Peak
Performance are obvious in his new book. The storytelling
approach makes the principles easy to apply, real, and
relevant.”
— Joseph A. Doucet,
Stanley A. Milner Professor and Dean, Alberta School of Business
“Paul’s passion, skills, and experience as an executive coach

flow through the book enthralling the reader with very
interesting case studies that highlight the factors of goal setting
and winning. A must-read for coaches, demigods, aliens, and
ordinary people who set out to do ‘more’ than average!”
— Kim Budolph Johansen,
Commercial Leadership Advisor,
Active Budolph Consulting
“Paul’s stories are reachable and relatable. I found his stories

and the depicted parallelism inspiring and eye-opening.
Paul manages to push you to the ‘aha’ moment with small
steps, a mixture of rational, deductive thinking and real-life
examples. Bringing in the sports examples gives the book
legitimacy as well as a kick for the reader to find out more
and to self-explore their demigod side, if any.”
— Marian Vasile,
Global Talent & Leadership Partner,
Personal Health, Royal Philips
“A wise man once said – if you do not know how to handle

yourself, then you are handling everything else only by
accident. Unless you want to go with the flow during your
entire life, please read this book.”
— Marcin Molin,
General Manager, Personal Health Romania, Philips
“Being ‘just an ordinary person’ may sound negative; it
almost categorizes you as a loser or someone spending
their whole life without achieving anything. This book
shows and proves the opposite: ‘Anyone can achieve
greatness.’ The recipe is there. It’s just a matter of
embracing it and having the self-discipline and the right
environment around you to make it possible.”
— Olivier Ravon,
Sales Director Europe, Gosselin (Moving Division)
“Paul has done a masterful job of weaving firsthand

accounts from Olympic athletes and coaches, with his
own experiences as a business executive and coach. Each
chapter presents actionable ideas for anyone seeking to lift
their performance.”
— Steve Langkamp,
Founder, Jobhawk Labour Marketplace
“This engaging book makes a fascinating connection

between demigods, aliens, and ordinary people. History
is full of examples of humans outperforming beyond
imagination and Renaud’s story telling approach
demonstrates that anything is possible.”
— Jan Alberdingk Thijm
Founder/Executive Coach at Alberdingk Thijm
| Leadership Transitions
DEMIGODS,
ALIENS, AND
ORDINARY
PEOPLE
Peak Performance Lessons
from Coaching
PAUL J.R. RENAUD

Copyright © 2021 Paul J. R. Renaud
All rights reserved
ISBN 978-973-88604-3-8
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be

reproduced in any form or by any electronic or
mechanical means, or the facilitation thereof,
including information storage and retrieval systems,
without permission in writing from the author
(www.paul-renaud.com), except by a reviewer,
who may quote brief passages in a review.
Illustrations © 2021 ITwebmedia.ro

Layout by Liviu Rusu
Published by Style & Nature
Printed in Romania
This book is dedicated to the thousands of Olympic
athletes who had to pause their dreams in 2020
because of the COVID-19 pandemic and to the devoted
healthcare workers worldwide who worked tirelessly to
make the world safe again.
In loving memory of George DeMarchi,
boss, friend, and mentor.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements III
Preface V
Introduction 1
Part 1 Setting the Tone: The Characters 5
Section 1.
Olympian Gods and Olympians:
Do you Remember Your Ancient History? 7
Section 2.
Aliens: Are They Really What You Think? 13
Section 3.
Ordinary People: Is it Cool to be Ordinary? 19
Section 4.
Ordinary People Case Study:
Chris, the Backstroke Swimmer 25
Part 2 The Tools and Methods: Ready to Test Drive? 35

Section 5.
Goal Setting: Have You Really Given
It Your Best Shot? 37
Section 6.
Imagery and Visualization: Do they Really Work? 47
Section 7.
Heroes: Do They Really Make a Difference? 59
Section 8.
The Team Effect: Can it Push You Forward? 75
Section 9.
Stamina and Stress Reduction:
Are you a Happy Camper? 83
II Demigods, Aliens, and Ordinary People
Section 10.
Diet: What Does Your Fuel Consist of? 93
Section 11.
Sleep: Is Sleeping on the Job Good for Your Career? 101
Section 12.
Fitness: How Many Times Have
You Been Reminded? 111
Section 13.
Fame and the “Big 4”: What’s Your Vice? 117
Section 14.
Giving up: Giving Up or Letting Go 123
Section 15.
Your Support Group: Do You need a Coach, a Mentor,
or a Big Brother/Sister? 133
Section 16.
Persistence: Fall Down 7 times Get Up 8? 155
Section 17.
Belief and Commitment: Have You Got Fire in your
belly? 163
Section 18.
Attitude Isn’t Everything, It’s the Only Thing! Have you
got the right attitude? 175
Section 19.
Fear: Are Your Choices Based on Fear? 181
Section 20.
Reality Check: So, What Are You?
Demigod, Alien, or Ordinary Person? 193
Conclusion 207
Which of the 14 tools or methods will you undertake
starting today? 213
Acknowledgements
This book is the result of a collaborative effort by the

many readers who responded positively to help me get it
right. They understood that putting ideas together is one
thing, making them flow is another. Their contributions,
insights, and advice are truly appreciated.
Chris, the main character of this story, is a role model
for many and yet he’s as humble as they come. He’s why
this book was written. Hearing about his milestones was
not enough. I wanted to make them timeless. I’m grateful
he agreed to letting me share them.
I’m grateful to all my teachers: Marshall Goldsmith,
Dale Carnegie, Stephen R. Covey, Malcolm Gladwell, Peter
Hawkins, Walter Isaacson, Patrick Lencioni, Maxwell Maltz,
Andrew Neitlich, Richard Nelson Bolles, Earl Nightingale,
Eckhart Tolle, and Neale Donald Walsh. Through their
books and teaching, they have inspired me to become a
better researcher, communicator, and storyteller.
Thanks to my colleagues spread all over this beautiful
world who provided content control and were frank
enough to tell me what was wrong including Richard D.
Eaton my HR mentor from Canada, and Cristian Butariu
of the Romanian Olympic and Sports Committee.
This book is the product of many talents: marketing
advisor Eduard Tone whose book-writing expertise was
fundamental to packaging and promoting this book;
IV Demigods, Aliens, and Ordinary People
DTP expert Liviu Rusu who delivered great, easy-to-read

formatting; designer Lucian Dinu Costin who brought
my three archetypes alive through his magic; and editor
Mary Murphy who helped me spin my ideas into a free-
flowing story. Thank you all.
I needed brutally honest feedback, so I called on my
brother Ray and my two sons, Olivier and Phillippe. I’m
grateful you didn’t hold back.
To my treasured clients who are already unbelievably
successful and are on the path of greatness. It’s an honor
to work with you; you’ve taught me more than I’ve ever
taught you.
Finally, to my business partner, best friend, creative
di
rector, and soul mate Maria Andrei. You have my
devoted thanks for reading, researching, and adding
insights that I missed and for agreeing to spend most of
our free time on finishing the book.
Preface
In Greek mythology, Mentor was a friend who Odysseus

put in charge of his son Telemachus when he left for the
Trojan War. Mentor was a faithful friend; he was wise,
sober, and loyal. Telemachus was just entering manhood
and was very conscious of his duty and his father’s
reputation as a hero, something he felt he had to live
up to. Centuries later, the appellation mentor is given to
someone who imparts wisdom and shares knowledge
with a less experienced colleague.
A mentor is someone who has enormous influence
on our lives. We trust them to provide feedback and
advice. Since they don’t have any skin in the game, (i.e.,
nothing to gain), mentors provide valuable opinions. We
feel better after a discussion with them. We relax. We’re
more confident in pursuing the path we have selected.
George DeMarchi was my mentor.
I was 29 years old. I had finished a good year in the
Sales department of a small mobile phone company.
My boss Luc told me that George wanted to talk me.
Whenever anyone mentioned George, no clarification
was needed. Luc told me that George had an opening
on his marketing team and wanted to know if I’d be
interested in talking about it.
VI Demigods, Aliens, and Ordinary People
My heart stopped. To have someone like George

DeMarchi call me to discuss career options made me
feel like a kid in a candy store.
The phone interview was momentous. In George’s
soft way, he thanked me for taking the time to discuss
this job. I was flattered. Anyone would have been
honored to meet George and to be part of his team,
given the clout, influence, and charisma that he had
developed. Half-way through the interview, I wanted to
interrupt him and ask when I could start. But I didn’t.
I tempered my unbridled enthusiasm and let the man
finish speaking. We agreed that I’d take the job. I moved
my family from Ottawa to Montreal to start my role as
Marketing Manager a month later.
After introducing me to my colleagues, George
shared his values and plans with me. The rest is textbook
perfect. Looking back on my career, to be exposed to this
kind of boss was one of those truly magical moments. I
was given an exciting opportunity to work for a tireless
leader who was bright and humble. He trusted us. He
talked to us. He combined kindness and experience
while focusing on business issues; he had a strategic mind
and commanded tremendous respect and loyalty from
everyone. George discouraged destructive comments
about anyone in the organization. He had impeccable
listening skills and was eloquent in convincing us to see
things his way. I was constantly amazed watching him
in action.
A few years later, George left corporate life to start
his own business. We were all shocked, but we knew he
would do well in his new endeavors. And he did. We
Preface VII
kept in touch over the years. He’d give me advice and

show me unique ways of looking at business issues to
put me back on track. By this time we lived in different
countries, but we spoke at least once a year. In 2019,
I heard that that George was battling cancer. We
reconnected. He explained his aggressive type of cancer.
No matter what kind of hell he was going through with
exploratory treatments and tests, George remained
predictable, consistent, and optimistic. He wasn’t ready
to give up. Other complications crept in and weakened
him even more.
In spring 2020, I called him, but he wasn’t up to
talking. His condition had deteriorated. He suggested
calling the following week. I did. We spoke for only a few
minutes. He explained to me that he wanted to spend his
remaining time with his family. I wasn’t ready for this
kind of conversation. I tried to open up as best as I could
by telling him that I appreciated what he had done for
me. He’d been my mentor and a true friend. I told him
I missed him and begged him to take care of himself. I
could tell in his voice that he knew this would be the last
time we would speak.
George passed away two weeks later on April 5, 2020.
I’m not doing very well in dealing with his loss. Life
seems unfair. I miss him as a role model. I miss his
teachings. I miss his insights. But most of all I miss his
kindness and his generosity. George excelled not only as
a mentor but also as a loving father, a caring husband,
and a builder of communities.
My goal is to emulate his greatness. He taught me to
be great in my own way, in my career, in my life, and
viii Demigods, Aliens, and Ordinary People
with the people that surround me. His guidance, charm,

and good nature will live in my heart forever.
This book is a milestone on my journey toward
reaching my goal. I’d like to think George would have
been proud of me.
Introduction
I notice people. I’m a people person. There’s something

about what people say, how they interact, and what they
do that fascinates me. Not everyone, mind you, but
particularly those who have made inroads into their
areas of expertise. They don’t have to be celebrities,
although people who have done great things often
become celebrities. It’s rather the eminence of what these
people have done or achieved that gets my attention.
It’s the substance, not the brand. It’s the reality, not
the perception. It’s their truth, not fake news or media
folklore. It’s what they’ve had to do in terms of effort to
reach a particular milestone, or many. This is what grabs
my attention. I want to know how they’ve achieved all
they’ve achieved.
If you think about it, we really haven’t changed much
as humans. I challenge you to read any history clip, story,
or book without thinking that history repeats itself or
that we, as people, haven’t really changed over the years.
If this is true, then human accomplishments are not new
either – or so it seems. Human achievement consists of a
series of ingredients that pooled together make someone
take on demigod or alien attributes (more on this later).
We’re born. We struggle. Perhaps we’re given a chance
to outdo ourselves. Some grab that once-in-a-life-time
opportunity and fly with it. Others ignore it altogether.
2 Demigods, Aliens, and Ordinary People
More still don’t even recognize it for what it is. What are
the ingredients, the magic sauce, the combination of all
that’s right, and how can we apply it to ourselves, so that
we too can be great or at least a better version of who
we are? Shouldn’t achieving something truly great be an
aspiration for us all?
Be they great athletes, intellectual giants, creative geniuses,
or ordinary people who touch our lives, we all have heroic
figures to whom we look up; talented people from whom we
draw inspiration; real people who guide and mentor us in
our quest to become the best version of ourselves.
Heroes are not a modern-day invention. In the
ancient world, inspiration came from the heroes of
mythology, and the mythical and yet very real divine
beings who ruled over the world. We know them as the
Pantheon, the name given to sacred deities and heroic
figures, immortal spirits and demigods of ancient times.
And while noticing people is a hobby for me, I’m not
alone. Other people notice people, admire them, envy
them, disbelieve them. In some funny way we’re all the
same. We’re all spectators and fans in some way. At a
minimum we hear about, read about, and notice others.
Noticing people is a great way to learn new things or
about how people react under some circumstances.
Inasmuch as businesses use benchmarks to solve issues,
when we notice people it opens our minds to new
perspectives and helps us get better at something. We
might even discover something new.
In this book I share my thoughts on peak performance,
the lessons I’ve learned from observing leaders. For the
last eight years, I’ve been coaching individuals and teams
Introduction 3
and discovering a new passion to help people grow in their

careers. Living in 10 countries has added another dimension
to my observations of leaders in various cultures.
When it comes to peak performance, surely we can
all agree that goal setting is important but here, through
examples, and more specifically through interviews
with three people involved in Olympic sport, the notion
of goal setting becomes more tangible, more relatable,
more applicable. This book incorporates 14 tools
and methods that will help you to improve your peak
performance.
Learning how to use peak performance tools is a lot
easier when you have role models who can attest to them.
With this in mind, I use expert opinion, not hearsay.
These peak performance concepts are endorsed by an
Olympic athlete who represented Canada, an Olympic
athlete who 44 years after stunning the world enjoys still
enduring notoriety, and a world class Olympic coach.
I use the overlying theme of the Olympics because
of the years of intense preparation required to compete
for just moments on the world stage. Why do these
athletes put in so much effort? Careers work the same
way. We spend time learning our craft, be it a new trade
or profession. This learning implies a great deal of
training and sacrifice, but does it make a difference? Do
we get accolades from our peers validating that we’re on
the right track or performing well? By exploring these
parallels, this book offers a unique way to understand
the concepts, assimilate the expert’s opinion, test-drive
the tools, and recognize that if you apply the same level
of effort to your career, to your life, then you too, can
reap the benefits and become a role model or get the

recognition you desire.
Using three archetypes or models – the demigod,
the alien, and the ordinary person – I’ll give context
to where you may fit on your journey of greatness. I’ll
show you how everyone can master peak performance
tools. My experience of noticing people has shown,
without doubt, that we all have a latent talent that’s often
undiscovered. But even if we have the motivation to
become better at something, sometimes that motivation
is not enough. Other ingredients need to be added. This
book contains the recipe.
You get to pick and choose from these tools and
methods. In Part 2, at the end of each section you’ll
find three powerful questions. I use powerful questions
in coaching to help my clients find their own answers
as opposed to me telling them what to do. These
questions will help you incorporate the learning from
each section into your lifestyle and practice. Come back
time and again to these questions (and your answers)
to figure out what works best for you and what you
want to accomplish. Right after the powerful questions
is a separate area where you can add your notes and
reminders, or any actions you plan to undertake.
Everything you read here is true. Some names (marked
with an *) have been changed to protect confidentiality,
yet the stories are not fictionalized. Unlike the fantastic
stories of superheroes in novels and comic books, you,
dear reader, can ask for greatness, believe in it, and
receive it. And once you’ve done so, you’ll discover how
it feels to be a demigod, an alien, or an ordinary person.
PART 1
Setting the Tone:
The Characters
1
Olympian Gods and Olympians:
Do you Remember Your
Ancient History?
The Greek legacy
Olympians: Heroes of Past and Present
Any good sports coach will advise warming up and

stretching before starting any kind of exercise or fitness
routine, even before going on a brisk walk. Stretches and
warmups prevent injury and enable our muscles to get
the oxygen they need. If we emulate great athletes by
preparing before engaging in sport, then we’re getting our
muscles ready for what’s going to be an endurance test.
Let’s step into the shoes of our Olympian protagonist, the
main character in our story. Let’s appreciate and address
the relevance of the Olympic gods, and Olympians in
general, to make our hero’s story resonate.
The term Olympians derives from the world of the
Ancient Greeks, which, so they believed, was ruled over
by the deities of the pantheon – immortal spirits, gods
– and demigods, which we will look at later in more
detail. The canonical number of Olympian gods was 12,
including Zeus, the most important. But besides those
principal figures, there were other residents of Mount

Olympus who thus might be called Olympians. One such
figure was Heracles, who, after his apotheosis, i.e., when he
became a demigod, also became a resident of Olympus.
Greece is a fascinating place and Greek pride is alive
and well today. Any visit to the numerous archaeological
sites and temples will tell a wonderful story of courage,
civility, and invention in infrastructure and thinking.
The “Mighty Greeks,” as they love to be branded, were
responsible in many ways for facilitating the progress of
the Roman Empire.
The Greek legacy was a huge catalyst that enabled
the Romans to rule for many centuries. Stories of the
Greek gods are truly wonderful, even though history
quickly points out that maybe the same gods were also
present in other eras, in completely different parts of the
world, under different names, yet with similar power
and influence.
This is where it gets messy and complicated. To ready
ourselves for the parallels we’ll make later, let’s agree on
a proper definition of a demigod.
Demigod defined
Rarely used in the Ancient world, the term

demigod can refer to a minor deity, a mortal, or an
immortal who is the offspring of a god and a human, or
a figure who has attained divine status after death. The
earliest recorded use of the term is in the archaic period
in Greek history lasting from the eighth century BC to
the second Persian invasion of Greece in 480 BC. The
Olympian Gods and Olympians 9
Greek poets Homer and Hesiod both describe their dead

heroes as “half-gods.” It’s a common misconception that
this term means that the characters had one parent who
was divine and one who was mortal. Instead, those who
demonstrated “strength, power, good family, and good
behavior” were termed heroes, and only after their death
could they be called demigods, a process that is referred
to as heroization. The term demigod first appeared in the
English language in the late sixteenth or early seventeenth
century, when it was used to render the Greek and Roman
concepts of semideus and daemon, a Latin word that
means lesser deity.
Since then, the term demigod has been applied
figuratively to people of extraordinary ability:
Revolutionaries in their own place and time in history;
people with astonishing strength; leaders blessed with
power, influence, and persuasion; and forward thinkers.
In the period in which they lived, they commanded entire
territories and extended their clout. Their existence was
felt by those under their command and by their opponents.
Some demigods that come to mind are Hatshepsut,
Alexander the Great, Joan of Arc, Napoleon Bonaparte,
Mahatma Gandhi, and Mother Teresa. Just look at the
biography of Joan of Arc and you’ll understand how, as
a teenager, she developed the courage to succeed and
face her opponents during the Siege of Orleans in 1429.1
Alexander the Great was tutored by Aristotle and by the
age of 30 he had created one of the largest empires of the
Ancient world, stretching from Greece to Northwestern
India. Undefeated in battle, some of his battle tactics are
still taught in military academies today.
The mystique here is that although we will never know

if they were demigods or not, their accomplishments lead
us to believe that they achieved immortality.
Heracles
We no longer worship the Olympian deities as the

ancients once did. Their legacies, however, live on
in popular literature and movies, and, of course, the
Olympians: Participants in the Olympic Games. They
are athletes who, through their achievements, gain an
almost god-like status in today’s culture. They are heroes
of the modern age who become role models for budding
young athletes and ordinary people alike.
Who exactly was Heracles? Well, he was a demigod,
a divine hero in Greek mythology, and the son of Zeus.
Zeus was God of Olympus and King of the Gods, the
heavens, the weather, destiny, and law, and the mortal
Alcmene.2 Heracles was destined to become the greatest
of the Greek heroes, revered as a paragon of masculinity,
but also marked by tragedy. Initially given the name
Alcides,3 it was only later upon reaching immortality
and attaining his status as a demigod that he became
known as Heracles.
A major factor in the well-known tragedies surrounding
Heracles is the hatred that the goddess Hera, wife of Zeus,
had for him. Heracles’ very existence was the result of at
least one of Zeus’ many illicit affairs. Hera often conspired
against Zeus’ mortal offspring, including Heracles, as
revenge for her husband’s infidelities.
Olympian Gods and Olympians 11
Tragedy unfolds when, driven mad by Hera, Heracles

slew his own family. Desperate and willing to expiate the
crime, he was required by the Oracle of Delphi to carry
out a number of supposedly impossible tasks, or labors,
to wash away his sins, to show his regret, and to prove
that he was worthy of Hera’s respect.
Eventually, despite the difficult nature of the challenges,
Heracles performed each of his tasks successfully, bringing
the total number of labors to 12. Hera’s efforts to ruin
him while he was still on Earth had failed and ironically,
Heracles was finally killed by the exact trait that Hera had
hated so much…infidelity. It wasn’t until after his ascent
to Mount Olympus that he took the name of Heracles in
an unsuccessful attempt to mollify Hera. His heroic name
means “The Glory of Hera.”
The Romans later adopted the Greek version of his
life and work essentially unchanged but gave him the
name more commonly used today: Hercules. They added
anecdotal details of their own, some of it linking our
hero with the geography of the Central Mediterranean. In
popular culture today, we talk of a particularly challenging
task as being Herculean.
However, Heracles (let’s stick with his original name) is
not just known for the completion of grueling, seemingly
impossible labors. He is also credited with the birth of a
long-standing tradition which is continued and celebrated
today: The Olympic Games.
According to the ancient Greek poet Pindar, in his
Eleventh Olympic Ode to Victory, Heracles is behind the
first Olympic Games. One day, Augeas, a mortal, insulted
Heracles’ father Zeus. Incensed, Heracles challenged him
to a wrestling match. The battle raged for hours until

Heracles, the more powerful of the two, beat his opponent.
Heracles later ordered that a temple be built to Zeus at the
site and in addition, every four years, games were to be
held in honor of Zeus.4 Hence the creation of the Olympic
Games. This ancient tradition was rekindled in Athens by
Pierre de Coubertin in 1896. From the original combat
sports and athletics, we now have 33 summer sports and
15 winter sports, with their many disciplines, including
that of swimming, which we’ll come to later.
2
Aliens: Are They Really
What You Think?
Le mystère de la foi
Aliens, I hear you say? You mean, those little green beings
from outer space? Or those Area 51 aliens with a small
body and a large head that houses their larger brains since
they’re presumably far more advanced than we are? Or the
cute ET who wants to phone home? Science fiction has
the topic well covered. Debates about humans not being
alone in the billions of galaxies that exist are endless.
Discussions about what an alien would look like if we
were to have an encounter of the third kind continue to
be had. We simply don’t know. But the word alien can
also mean foreign, unknown, or out of this world. If we are
to believe Barry Sonnenfeld’s 1997 movie Men in Black,
unbeknown to us, these aliens are already walking among
us disguised as ordinary people.
My theory on aliens
Aristotle, Hypatia, Avicenna, Leonardo da Vinci,

Galileo Galilei, Sir Isaac Newton, Mozart, Nikola Tesla,
Albert Einstein, and Stephen Hawking are just a few who
fall into my category of aliens. But why call them aliens?
To grasp the greatness of these aliens, it’s wise to

compare them to people we’ve known or met. Think
for a moment, about the most intelligent person you’ve
met in your life. The smartest person you’ve followed.
The most charitable and altruistic person you’ve had the
pleasure to see in a crowd of fans and followers. Think
about times you got to sit at the same table with or be in
the same room as a noted professor, a pioneer, or a leader
in some area. I’ve had the good fortune to meet some
well-respected leaders. And no matter how confident and
proud I feel about my own achievements, five minutes
in their company made me realize that I still had a long,
long way to go. And that’s a good thing. They’re smart,
successful, and well respected, and I’m not even close to
them. And that’s ok, because it just means that I need to
push myself even more. These people whom we admire for
their greatness don’t even come close to the magnificence
of the aliens I mentioned at the beginning of this section.
Aliens have achieved what is seemingly impossible.
They’re superhuman. They’re not of this world. Hence
the appellation alien. How can anyone be a smart, wealthy
leader, accomplished in music, sports, or technology and
still be an ordinary person? This is my theory: In our
lifetime, some of us, very few of us, are blessed, touched by
God, and talented beyond imagination. These individuals
toil on Earth with human qualities for a short time and
their contributions enable humanity to move forward in
an exponential manner.
To illustrate what I mean, let’s take a quote from
Yuval Noah Harari’s book, Sapiens: A Brief History of
Humankind.
“6 million years ago, a single female ape had 2

daughters: One of them became the ancestor of all
chimpanzees; the other… is our own great-grandmother.
There are many theories to help explain our evolution as a
species, from Charles Darwin and Alfred Wallace’s ideas
on natural selection to the belief in divine intervention.
Some even believe that an advanced alien civilization
could have helped change the DNA sequence in one of
the apes and then witnessed all the progress we take
for granted today – but whatever the case, something
happened along the way and helped just some of the
chimpanzees, while the others were left hanging in the
trees of the old continent, brought to the edge of an
extinction orchestrated by their ‘smarter’ relative.”5
It seems that as a species, for whatever reason, we’ve

had a helping hand from somewhere to become what we
are. And like the chimpanzees, some of us have gotten
more help than others. Throughout history certain
individuals have walked among us, game-changers who
have had such a profound influence on our culture that
they have become almost mythical, super-human figures.
And even if these people looked like humans, they must
have had alien abilities, right? These so-called aliens or
idea leaders were responsible for advancing science. They
are our muses, giving us inspiration and knowledge. These
people of science, art, and philosophy changed the way we
think. They sped up technology. They realized new ideas.
They advanced mankind across borders with the power of
thought. They were intellectuals, savants, and polymaths.
Their impact was not only felt or linked to the people or

nation that surrounded them – both friend and foe – but
their impact on mankind was significant because their
contributions were pervasive and everlasting.
Still need convincing? Consider the great minds that
you’ve known, or you’ve had the good grace to meet.
Now, compare these people to the aliens I’ve mentioned.
Perhaps reading the biographies of these aliens will
convince you that what they’ve created was not entirely
due to them and them alone. Their level of greatness is
almost inexplicable. I don’t envy these aliens, but I do
benefit from their contributions in some way. I admire
these individuals because of the contributions they’ve
made to a better life for us and to our understanding of
the laws of nature.
Therein lies my theory. It’s unproven and personal.
Alien is just a word, and a catchy one at that (my other
passion is marketing). It’s a label. It’s a label that implies
a form of extraordinary being that made a difference and
is making a difference as we speak.
I’m not a devout Christian by any stretch of the
imagination, but I did receive some really good lessons
when I was 10 years old, during one of my first lectures in
Catechism from Father Sauvé, our parish priest in Aylmer,
Quebec or French Canada. Father Sauvé was a kindred
soul who had a genuine and sincere interest in helping
us understand God. In his lectures, he opened my eyes to
the idea of believing things that were not easily explained.
I had asked him the following question: “If God is
so good and present, why are there so many bad things
happening in the world?” An entire family in our
community had recently perished in a fire. When I added

this to racial hatred, hurricanes, and wars, I was at a loss.
Father Sauvé replied: “Paul, ceci est le mystère de la foi,”
(Paul, this is the mystery of faith). In other words, one of
the mysteries that are hidden in God, which can never
be known unless they are revealed by God. That answer
still confuses me today. Bewildered, I couldn’t understand
how faith could make all this acceptable. In other words,
we had to succumb, to tolerate and endure, to accept. We
had to understand that in the general scheme of things
although God had a plan for us, understanding it was not
necessarily an option.
I apply the same logic here with my alien theory. I can
accept that we have indeed been helped. We are being
helped right now. We will continue to be helped till one
day when the Mystère de la foi is better understood,
validated, or proven by a more advanced civilization than
ours, and we will get confirmation that indeed aliens were
roaming free and for good reason. For now, this label is
my way of speculating and prophesizing that they exist.
3
Ordinary People: Is it Cool
to be Ordinary?
“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good.
It’s the thing you do that makes you good.”
̶ Malcom Gladwell
Demigods are heroes, leaders, revolutionaries of their

time. People followed them because of their tremendous
influence. I would add that the need for people to be led
is as important today as it was throughout history.
According to my theory, the alien is an individual
touched by genius connected to an outside force, or some
form of energy whose influence has no borders, physical or
temporal, then or now. Their contributions are pervasive
and impactful. They’ve enabled us as ordinary people, you
and me, to thrive by developing new technology, creating
new art, imparting new knowledge, making scientific
discoveries, giving us access to unlimited information
and a combination of solutions to solve our problems.
This leads us to a simple question: Are those who
inspire us always demigods or aliens? If you’ve ever had
the good fortune to meet someone who made an impact
on your life – a scholar, a doctor, a scientist, a great teacher
or philosopher, or a mentor – you may conclude, like me,
that in some way these people were neither demigods nor

aliens. To have done what they have done, to have learned
and applied what they have discovered, to have achieved
something significant, begs the questions: Why are they
so special? Who made it possible for them to do what
they’ve done and for what reason?
One possible explanation of how ordinary people
reach greatness can be traced from Malcolm Gladwell’s
theory. In his book Outliers, Gladwell tells “a story of how
the outliers in a particular field reached their lofty status
through a combination of ability, opportunity and utterly
arbitrary advantage.”6 He elicits a “10,000 hour rule”7 in
an intriguing chapter that highlights gifted individuals, be
they musicians such as The Beatles or Mozart, athletes such
as Nadia Comăneci (Olympic gymnast), programmers
such as Bill Joy (co-founder of Sun Microsystems) and
Bill Gates (Microsoft), who were able to achieve stardom
through practicing for 10,000 hours what they liked so
much. More importantly, Gladwell adds, “Practice isn’t
the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do
that makes you good.”8
Gladwell explains that the reason The Beatles, the
English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960, did so
well is not because of their one-hour play sessions in
Liverpool, but rather their 8-hour gigs in strip clubs in
Hamburg, Germany. On their first trip to Hamburg in
1960, The Beatles played 106 nights for five or more hours
each night. This pace continued till 1962. By the time they
were recognized in 1964, the band had performed live an
estimated 1200 times. “Most bands today don’t perform
twelve hundred times in their entire career.”9 The Beatles
are a prime example of people who reached their pinnacle

because of the 10,000-hour rule.
If practice is the thing that makes you good, is it also
the key to determining the difference between demigods,
aliens, and ordinary people? Or put another way, if
ordinary people practice 10,000 hours (which in itself
is quite exceptional when you think about it), can they
emulate the characteristics of demigods or aliens?
Think about yourself in your profession, job, or trade.
Perhaps you advise clients, fix sinks, fly planes, write code,
operate on patients, or manage teams. How many hours
have you dedicated to this activity? 1000 hours? 2000
hours? If you’re an airline pilot the question is easier,
since pilots track their number of flying hours. My father
had a good friend who drove an 18-wheeler. He told my
dad one day that he was quite proud of having driven
1.5 million miles in Canada, another way of reaching a
10,000-hour milestone.
When you’re leading teams, however, how do you know
how many hours of management time you’ve covered?
OK, you might often refer to how long you’ve worked in
business, how long you’ve practiced dentistry, or how long
you’ve worked in engineering since graduating, but how
many hours can you attribute to leading people, repairing
cavities, or drafting plans? The question remains elusive. If
you believe and agree with Gladwell’s theory of greatness
(and assuming you’re not a trucker or a pilot), then how
can you meet this milestone if you cannot account in a
simple way for the magic number of 10,000?
Whether they prove 10,000 hours or not, ordinary
people can do amazing things compared to their peers,
but they have to put in the time. There are no shortcuts.

As Stephen Covey says in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly
Effective People: “Many of the great things in the history
of our civilization have been achieved by the independent
will of a determined soul.”10 In this case, we don’t need
to ascertain if great things are achieved by demigods, but
rather by simple people, ordinary people like you and me.
Thomas Edison, who has been described as America’s
greatest inventor, once said: “I have not failed 10,000 times.
I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that
those 10,000 ways will not work. When I have eliminated
the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will
work.”11
I like the way Gladwell adds that “Achievement is
talent plus preparation. The problem with this view is
that the closer psychologists look at the careers of the
gifted, the smaller the role innate talent seems to play and
the bigger the role preparation seems to play.”12
And so, we see that some otherwise ordinary people
can become special through hard work and dedication.
Some of them go on to not only do good things, but to
do great things, whereas most of us can’t seem to wake
up with the first snooze alarm in the morning.
But what of those who appear to have been born
special, those aliens, those who have a spark of genius
which seems to be given to some humans, from time
to time? Whenever someone really impresses me, the
thought occurs to me that maybe, just maybe, this person
is really an alien, a visitor from a different time and place.
When I’ve asked them – all in the spirit of testing my
theory of course – if they come from another planet,

they’ve politely said “No.”
Of course, they said no. If they truly were an alien, they
wouldn’t know it or, they would be undercover, right?!
And if they knew it, or admitted it, then there would be
no doubt; we would all indeed be just a part of a much
bigger plan.
Now that you’re clear on how I define demigods,
aliens, and ordinary people, let’s see what you think of
someone I have known since birth and interviewed on
many occasions.
4
Chris, the Backstroke Swimmer
“The Olympics are the culmination of 4 years of intense
work; the intense requirement of specific focus on a
moment in time where it is difficult to perform at your
peak, but intensely gratifying because you have achieved
what many have not done.”
̶ Chris
Every two years, when I watch an Olympics – either the

summer or winter games – I choke up. When I watch the
opening ceremonies and the delegation of each country
being led by a flag bearer, I get emotional. I get teary-
eyed because these games represent to me all that it is
to be human. They epitomize the spirit of fair play and
collaboration. Time is suspended. There are no wars
during this magical moment, no famines, no pain. History
tells us that in ancient times wars would stop for the games
– the enactment of Olympic Truce, the world’s longest
lasting peace declaration. On that day we can forget for
a brief moment the pain that we endure on a daily basis
as a species. We can set aside our differences and focus
on a happy moment, the smiling faces of young adults
who have come to compete with pride after working
so hard for so many years to prepare. This global event

has humanity at its heart. It is a moment of peace and
friendship, where we see that we’re not so different after
all as human beings, cultures, religions, and people.
When it comes to the Olympics, someone I know very
well describes them as “the culmination of 4 years of
intense work; the intense requirement of specific focus on
a moment in time where it is difficult to perform at your
peak, but intensely gratifying because you have achieved
what many have not done.”13
My friend Chris was born in Fredericton, New
Brunswick, Canada on August 29, 1976, the year of
the Montreal Summer Olympics and the same year
Nadia Comăneci scored the first perfect 10 in Ladies
Gymnastics, representing Romania. He was a scrawny
kid just 8 years old when he faced his first true challenge
in a swimming pool.
On that pivotal day, Chris was at day camp with Dan,
his older brother. Part of the activities included a field
trip to Canyon Meadows in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
There was swimming involved. A lot of the kids were
gathered around the dive tank. Remember, it was 1984,
long before tanks had air pushed from the bottom of the
pool to release bubbles on the surface to reduce injuries
(some indoor swimming pools have this bubble creation
function). This dive tank was bubble-free. Chris recalls
that the pool looked like it had no bottom, at least so it
seemed to his mind. Nonetheless, he decided to check out
the diving board. But before he had the chance to dive,
his brother Dan pushed him into the water. As a joke.
Chris the Backstroke Swimmer 27
The lifeguard, a fellow called Mike Saunders, jumped

into the water, pulled Chris out, and made him sit on a
chair to recover. Chris almost drowned that day. Dan
realized – much to his horror – that his little brother didn’t
know how to swim or float! He had swallowed a lot of
water, choked, and cried, but luckily, he didn’t pass out.
Chris got the scare of his life but fortunately no serious
harm was done.
After his lucky escape, Saunders suggested that Chis
take swimming lessons. And he did.
Chris’s first lessons were far from easy, but despite
struggling with his fears and swallowing some water –
and again some more – he did ok. He touched bottom
a few times, but as swimming lessons were held in the
shallow end of the pool, this was nothing like the terror
of his first experience.
Did he remain fearful? Not really. He was still young
enough to know that he could do this swimming thing even
though his first experience had not been pleasant. Luckily
for Dan, Chris did not hold a grudge. In any event, Chris’s
motivation was to get back into the pool and compete.
As he progressed, his lessons got a little easier. He met a
lot of kids in his swim group including Russell, who is still a
friend today. Russell explained to Chris techniques such as
flutter-board kicking, single-arm swimming, progressive
drills, and two-arm swimming. After completing his set
of lessons, Chris was assessed during a 100-meter race.
He passed. He joined the Cascade Swim Club, a tightly
knit group of kids with good values. Chris liked the fact
that his friends were very competitive, giving him the
incentive to try for more.
A natural athlete?
In those early days, Chris tried many sports: Basketball,

volleyball, cross country running, track and field, and
wrestling. But swimming was his only dedicated sport
outside of school. At that time, he did average to good, in
competition. Nobody could say if he was a natural born
athlete or not. But he liked the challenge and his parents
encouraged him to try everything he could or wanted to
do for himself.
Eventually, Chris noticed that when he swam with
much faster swimmers, they didn’t last as long as he did.
While his intuition told him he couldn’t compete with
taller or stronger swimmers, he soon discovered that he
had the edge over his peers, helped by the diversity of
other sports he had been practicing from a young age.
Was this going to be Chris’s latent talent?
Chris, 11 years old, Cascade Swim Club awards banquet, trophy for
most improved/outstanding swimmer.
A defining moment
Chris didn’t get off to a good start when it came

to work ethic and discipline. Rather than plan for his
swim training, he preferred to joke around and make
his friends laugh. Basically, he did nothing…and yet he
was winning all the competitions! Was this a natural
gift for swimming? Chris says that he really didn’t take
it seriously till he turned 14. Between 8 and 14, it was
all about pure enjoyment. It wasn’t serious for him. By
the time he hit 14 though, something made him realize
that there could be a latent potential hiding somewhere.
When he was 12, some kids were selected to compete
in Regina, Saskatchewan. Chris wasn’t included in the
first pick. But two kids got sick and the team needed two
reserve swimmers. He made the list. This was a defining
moment for him: His first time to leave Alberta and
compete. At the time, Regina was a hotbed of swimmers
in Canada. Yet, despite all the excitement, Chris still
tried to cut corners with his training. As far as he was
concerned, the cool part of going to Regina was all about
being with his friends…not about winning.
Then, at 13, something clicked: Chris realized that he
absolutely hated losing. He was ready to do anything to
win. So, he came up with his own motivational method.
He would take 10 A4 sheets (8 X 10) of paper and
tape them along the top of his wall. He’d then use these
to create a chart on how he felt he’d trained. For example,
if he was swimming three times that week, he would
grade himself for each training session:
Monday Wednesday Friday
P P P
P P G
P G G
VG VG VG
P – poor; G – good; VG – very good.
This gave him a visual view of where/when he didn’t

train enough. It was to be his Foundation of Goal Setting.
At first, he would see a trend of Ps: PPPP. Then PPPG
PPG PGG. Then PGGG G-GG. And then GG-VG, GG.
This was a very effective visual confidence gainer.
He would look at the previous 30 days and tell himself,
“Man, you gotta get better.” And all this was his own work,
without any feedback from his coach.
But would this get him to train more? He’d changed not
so much the quantity of his training as the quality, focusing
more on the upcoming competitions. It was easy for him
and it worked. Chris called it his “personal assessment.”
In his personal assessment, he would look at the mistakes
he’d made. He’d ask himself how he could have improved
his performance. And he’d reflect and wonder what lessons
he could learn from his last competition.
In his all-time classic How to Win friends or Influence
People, Dale Carnegie relates the story of a Wall Street
bank president who monitored his performance and

personal assessment for self-improvement:
“Each evening I opened my engagement book, and

thought over all the interviews, discussions and meetings
that had taken place during the week. I asked myself:
What mistakes did I make that time? What did I do
that was right—and in what way could I have improved
my performance? What lessons can I learn from that
experience? I often found that this weekly review made
me very unhappy. I was frequently astonished at my own
blunders. Of course, as the years passed, these blunders
became less frequent. Sometimes I was inclined to pat
myself on the back a little after one of these sessions.
This system of self-analysis, self-education, continued
year after year, did more for me than any other one
thing I have ever attempted. It helped me improve my
ability to make decisions—and it aided me enormously
in all my contacts with people. I cannot recommend it
too highly.”14
Just like Chris, Carnegie’s Wall Street bank executive

used a simple method that required discipline and time.
Furthermore, Carnegie adds: “Keeping such a record
will inspire you to greater efforts; and how fascinating
these entries will be when you chance upon them some
evening years from now!”15
But Chris, at 14, still wasn’t taking training very

seriously. Despite this, he qualified for a national age
group championship in Quebec City. During the morning
heats he had a very good race and went on to the finals

in the evening, finishing in second place. Then, thirty
minutes after the race, a coach from Winnipeg realized
that Chris had broken a national record in the 100m
backstroke: Chris was the fastest ever in Canada in his
age group! He didn’t get much by way of recognition for
this achievement; no plaque, no trophy, no medal, but
his name and age were placed in a group listing under
Swimming Canada, the Canadian national governing
body for competitive swimming.
After this, things started to get more serious for Chris.
But he still wasn’t motivated to train seriously. After the
Quebec City Championship, he took every single medal
or ribbon that he had ever won and placed them on
display in his bedroom; eventually there were around
250 of them. This now became his visual reward, and he
called it “The Room of success” …no need for wallpaper!
At the age of 15 came crunch time. Chris needed to
make a decision. His friends had started to leave the team
and he had to evaluate whether he should leave as well.
He needed to decide what his priorities and goals would
be: On the one hand, he hated to train, but on the other,
he loved to compete. He had two choices:
1. Stay at the Cascade Swim Club, which was more of

an amateur age group swim club.
2. Join the University of Calgary (U of C) Swim
Club, which was more elite and would give him the
opportunity to go pro.
He chose the second option. There was no smooth

transition for Chris. He almost didn’t finish the team’s first
practice. It was a group training session and a lot more
work in 1.5 hours than he had ever done, but in the end,
he managed to finish it. For this particular training, all
the university teams were thrown together to make up
the Varsity team and the coaches’ team, so it really was a
baptism by fire for him.
Did he have the right stuff? Would he make it?
PART 2
The Tools and Methods:
Ready to Test Drive?
5
Goal Setting: Have You Really
Given It Your Best Shot?
“Compared to what we ought to be we are only half
awake. We are making use of only a small part of our
physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly,
human individuals thus live far within their limits.
They possess powers of various sorts which they
habitually fail to use.”
̶ William James
Goal setting means a lot of things to a lot of people. To

set the record straight, we’re not talking about those New
Year’s resolutions – they usually last as long as it takes you
to fill your second glass of champagne right after you’ve
counted down to midnight.
The easy questions to ask yourself are: Where would
you like to get this year and how will you know when you
get there? But taking such a loose approach to setting your
goals may result in not getting what you really deserve.
Here are a few ideas on how to structure your own goals.
First, it’s OK to be selfish for a few moments. Being too
selfish is wrong, but not being selfish enough robs you of
the time you need to spend for you. I’m not referring to
your spouse or your kids or your parents, but to YOU.

But why set goals at all?
1. Setting goals works. I’ve read books by and bios

of many peak performance authorities – not those
motivational speakers who give you a good feeling
for 30 minutes and then it goes away in a swoosh,
but authors of substance. These authors always
come to the same conclusion: If you take the time
to put pen to paper and write down your goals,
you will achieve them. It has worked for me and
for the countless leaders I have interviewed and
the myriad clients I have coached.
2. Goals give you focus. Preparing what you want
to achieve gives you the direction you need when
you’re too busy with the hundred things you have to
manage. By setting your goals, you subconsciously
program your mind to achieve them and focus
in one direction. This focus will have benefits for
your family and loved ones as well.
3. Accomplishing your goals gives you a feeling of
fulfillment.
4. Knowing where you’re going reduces stress and
worry: If the way ahead is clear and the finish line
is in sight, stress and worry become less daunting.
5. Having goals sustains your promotability with
your employer. Think about it. If you as a person
are structured and have direction, this will reflect
in your work. Your employer expects you to be
focused, and inherently that should also mean that
you know where you are going as a professional.
6. Goals add order to your personal life or life

priorities. Order means discipline and a greater
chance to succeed.
Wanting to be a good parent, although an admirable

goal, does not qualify as being what Peter Drucker
would call a SMART goal. It’s not Specific, Measurable,
Achievable, Realistic, or Time bound.
One way of formulating this goal could be:
“As a parent, I will be happy when my daughter has

been accepted to a good university of her choice, either
in the UK or the Netherlands, studying in an area that
she loves, such as artificial intelligence and the savings
my wife and I have accumulated are sufficient to pay for
my daughter’s Bachelor’s degree.”
By describing your goal in full detail (SMART),

it becomes vivid, it becomes easier to target, easier to
measure. And when your daughter does graduate, it’s
more meaningful since you were fully focused on making
that happen. At any point in time, if I were to ask you how
parenting was going for you, this vivid goal would come
up and you’d be able to give me a reasonably good progress
report because you’d have a clear image in your mind.
Had you remained with “I want to be a good parent,” the
answer to that question would be more elusive or vague.
These time-tested steps will also make the goal-setting
process easier for you:
1. F ind the time to just sit and think about your

goals, without interruptions like text messages,
emails, mobile phone, staff, social media, etc.
Sit down for about an hour and come up with a
plan for what you want to do for yourself in the
next year, be it read 6 books, become financially
literate, go to the gym three times per week, etc.
2. Write these goals down on paper. Writing will
help you consolidate your ideas and put your
thoughts in order.
3. When it comes to the achievable aspect of your
goals, make them attainable, but don’t set the bar
too low either. Set yourself a challenge.
4. Set as many goals as you want, but again, be
realistic with the actual descriptions and number
of goals, i.e., anything over 10 goals is going to be
harder to manage.
5. Once you’ve decided on the content, rank your
goals in order of priority or category.
6. Determine the best way to see/review them
weekly or daily (MS Excel, smartphone or hard
copy).
7. Determine a scoring method.
8. Rate them on a quarterly basis – rating them
too often is not suggested because you need time
to make these goals happen. Checking them
too often may give you the impression that goal
setting is not working.
9. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, a
glass-half-full attitude will encourage you to
reach your goals.
10. Reward yourself when you reach a goal. Buy

yourself a Snickers bar, go fishing with your
friends, or shopping in London with someone
special – this is important!
While this activity may not seem difficult, the challenge

will be to sit and think for one hour uninterrupted. When
was the last time you did this? Sat and thought for one
hour. Sixty minutes. Uninterrupted. It’s not only a good
way to establish your goals, but it’s also a proven method
for resolving issues you face. We rarely sit and think
anymore as we’re bombarded by social media, work,
family duties, and entertainment.
Don’t bother wondering how writing down goals
work. It doesn’t matter whether the explanation is
scientific, metaphysical, spiritual, coincidental, driven
by luck, inexplicable, or just plain eerie. The more you ask
yourself how it works, the more time you waste: Accept
and embrace that IT JUST DOES!
William James (1842–1910), an American psychologist,
philosopher, physician, and author on the concept of
pragmatism, summarizes why this process works when
he reminds us that the average person develops only 10%
of their latent mental abilities:
“Compared to what we ought to be we are only half

awake. We are making use of only a small part of our
physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly,
human individuals thus live far within their limits. They
possess powers of various sorts which they habitually
fail to use.”16
Chris’s view on goal setting
On the topic of goal setting, Chris agrees with James.

In fact, his goal-setting process was very detailed. He
categorized his goals as short-term and long-term, and
all of them SMART. But first, he asked himself: What is
my dream goal? His answer: Winning an Olympic gold
medal.
Chris worked backwards. He started with his long-
term goal, the Olympic gold medal, and saw what he
needed to do in each training session to achieve this
goal: nine months, then six months, then three months
before a race. Next, he set targets to reduce his time by a
given number of seconds. A kind of reverse engineering,
as he called it. The size of the boxes indicates the size
of the goal.
Goal: Olympic gold medal!
3 months before a race:

1 second off my best time

1.5 seconds off my best time

2 seconds off my best time
Another goal-setting method Chris used was to plan

the outcome and challenges of a 4-length (or leg) race,
for example 200 meters, consisting of 4 legs of 50 meters

each. He developed strategies to cope with his weaknesses
during the race. He also used his dryland training to
improve his strength and stamina for Leg 3.
Workouts:
Leg 1
Leg 2
Leg 3 Focus here to improve performance on
third leg.
Leg 4
Chris admitted that identifying his weaknesses was

a difficult process. “If you reverse engineer, this helps
you discover your weaknesses.” Even today, in his post-
Olympics life, when applying for a job interview, he goes
through the same process.
After getting Chris’s complete view on goal setting, I
mentioned to him that at times, some of my clients push
back on goal setting. He wasn’t surprised to hear this.
“Great companies foster this kind of planning, whereas
many companies don’t know how to foster goal setting
and they don’t know how to engage employees.” He gave
me useful advice by telling me to ask my clients the
following questions regarding goal setting:
• What does goal setting mean to you?

•W hat nuggets of knowledge would you obtain if
you were successful because of goal setting?
• What’s an “aha!” moment for you?
• Is there a lack of accountability on your part to

avoid setting goals? If so, what’s behind that? What’s
holding you back from setting goals?
• Why won’t you address these goals?
Powerful questions
hese questions will help you formulate and recall

T
the learning in this section.
1. Based on what you’ve read, why should you
adopt goal setting?
2. Why is setting SMART goals important?
3. Why is it important for you to write down your
goals?
Key points to remember

Notes, reminders, or actions you plan to undertake.
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6
Imagery and Visualization:
Do they Really Work?
“What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
̶ Earl Nightingale
Wouldn’t it be amazing to stop, focus, think, and then get

what you want? A promotion, a new friend or partner,
a new client? Perhaps resolve a conflict with someone
who matters to you?
Earl Nightingale, American radio speaker and author,
once said: “What the mind can conceive and believe, it
can achieve.”17
There is a lot of debate when it comes to the brain’s
potential. Some experts say that we’re using only a very
small part of your brain’s potential or DNA – anywhere
between 5 and 8%. Others say that we only understand
about 10% of how our brain functions.18 If we can tap
into the rest of that potential, we can definitely achieve
what we believe.
A leading authority in neurosciences, Dr. Srini Pillay,
explains that there are important areas in the brain that
are affected when imagery is activated. Pillay states that
imagery acts as a precursor to action. Imagery fires up
the brain:
“By imagining what you want, you stimulate the

action centers of the brain. Also, if you observe other
examples of this being achieved, it will make it feel
more real. It is important for this to feel real and when
you do imagine it, try to imagine yourself doing (or
thinking) in the first person so that you are in the
picture.”19
Great. Ok, so how do you do this?

One effective way of creating imagery is to think and
concentrate on seeing yourself as you do something. For
example, if you plan to run a race, then imagine yourself
running, and looking at your opponents as you strive
for the finish line. Be you. Feel the pressure as your feet
hit the ground. Feel your breath quicken as you sprint
towards the finish line. Experience the race as if you
were running it. This is what Pillay describes as a first-
person visualization. Alternately, try observing yourself
in the race as if you were filming yourself from above,
watching yourself progress to the point of coming from
behind your opponents and winning the race, what
Pillay describes as a third-person visualization.
In both cases (either being or seeing), you are
effectively creating a mental image of you achieving
something important. Now apply this to your job
or a task: Closing that important deal, delivering an
important presentation, getting that important funding
approval. It doesn’t have to be too complicated. Think,
focus, and see yourself meeting the objective or the
milestone.
Imagery and Visualization: Does it Really Work? 49
On the topic of imagery or focusing your mental

attention on attaining a specific goal, Maxwell Maltz’s
book Psycho Cybernetics reinforces the need to visualize
what you want in order to get what you want. Maltz says:
“There is within each one of us a ‘life instinct’

which is forever working toward health, happiness
and all that makes for more life for the individual.
This life instinct works for you through what he calls
the Creative Mechanism or when used correctly, the
‘Success Mechanism’ built into each human being.”20
He goes on to say:
“This automatic Creative Mechanism within you
can operate in only one way. It must have a target to
shoot at.”21
Maltz explains that instead of deploying conscious

effort to reach what you want when you’re mostly
wondering if you can, or worried that you’ve never done
it before or even when self-doubt sets in, it is far better to
relax and stop the strained effort. As Pillay suggests, you
should picture yourself reaching the target and let your
“Success Mechanism” take over. Both experts claim the
same effect where you ultimately get what you want. It
requires the following two efforts however:
1. Change your current habits of doubt and worry,

and neutralize the impostor syndrome, a thought
pattern where you see yourself as some kind of
fraud or imposter and don’t deserve your success,
and you believe that you can’t keep it up and will

inevitably fail.
2. Mentally focus by picturing yourself doing,
pushing, and achieving what you’ve decided to do.
My coaching clients have explained to me that they
weren’t successful with either effort. And even when we
got past the first effort, they still struggled with picturing
themselves; some found it awkward or even clumsy.
Even after practicing – which is part of the effort,
by the way – and applying the first effort, they were
still challenged by the second effort because they’re
not conditioned to think like an Olympian. This stuff
is easier said than done, but it requires both efforts to
get what you want and what you’ve visualized. Want
more examples?
Thomas Edison, the inventor, would find answers to
seemingly unsolvable problems right after a nap. Many
people have told me that they get their best ideas in
the shower or walking on the beach. Perhaps water has
the effect of digging deep in our subconscious to find a
solution. Some athletes have told me that they are able
to run the entire race or competition entirely in their
mind, to the point of picturing themselves breaking a
sweat. Formula 1 drivers will map the race in their head
with amazing accuracy, to shave milliseconds off their
best time. These are all examples of where imagery can
help. You just need a bit of effort!
Charles Garfield’s book Peak Performers is based
on extensive research stemming from the world of
sports and business. His research shows that almost
all world-class athletes and other peak performers are
visualizers; they see it, they feel it, they experience it

before they actually do it. They begin with the end
in mind.22 Quoting Garfield, Covey explains: “To
begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear
understanding of your destination.”23 Beginning with
the end in mind is based on the principle that all things
are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and
a physical or second creation to all things.24 Imagery
facilitates this.
What I’ve discovered is that with imagery or
visualization, because you’re picturing yourself winning
you are essentially asking the universe for what you
want. Once I’ve seen some hard effort and progress, I’m
quick to remind my clients of these two approaches:
1. You must believe that imagery works because, well,

it just does. My research with athletes, notable
people of science, or ordinary people running
marathons or ultra-marathons demonstrates that
before they go to bed and when they wake up in
the morning, they watch a movie. That movie is
a vivid replay of each step or move they make,
getting closer to the finish line, seeing themselves
win or having that eureka moment when they
discover something truly innovative.
2. People spend too much time trying to understand

how it works. If you want to gain from it, don’t
bother asking how it works. Just apply it. Don’t
spend one single minute wondering why these
two efforts work when used in tandem. Over
thinking, analyzing, or contemplating why and

how this works is pointless.
Chris’s view of imagery and visualization
Chris agrees with the Serenity Prayer used by those

recovering from addictions such as alcohol, drugs,
gambling, or addictions of any kind. The first verse
goes like this:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I

cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”
In Ryan Holiday’s book The Obstacle is the Way, he

explains that behind the Serenity Prayer is a 2000-year-
old Stoic phrase: “Ta eph’hemin, ta ouk eph’ hemin”25
(What is up to us, what is not up to us). This encourages
people to realize that they can change.
Chris would always run through a race in his mind
by visualizing. He would tell himself: “There’s only so
much I can control.” He wouldn’t allow himself to fixate
on what he couldn’t control.
He told me he discovered a 10-minute relaxation
audiotape when he was 13. The author of the program
had a thought process that Chris adopted. He’d find a
quiet spot, lie down, and flex his muscles for 5 seconds,
then release them. Flex. Release. Flex. Release. He’d repeat
this 5 times. During this relaxation technique he’d think
about his race and in the process make the connection.
In other words, he’d use his muscles to try to feel the race.
During intense competition, Chris had a warmup

routine – his methodology, as he calls it. It consisted of
working on flexibility and stretching 30 minutes before
a race. Also, he’d continue working on flexibility 30
minutes after the race, though most athletes would not
do both.
People tend to get fixated on what they can’t control,
but not Chris. He did routine warmups, then got down
to business. “Let’s get it done!” was his motto. He always
went through this methodology, while anticipating and
preparing for worst case scenarios. Having a mantra is a
great way to remain focused and motivated. His coach
expected him to have his own way of preparing and did
not interfere.
In his mind, throughout the race, he could feel how
his body felt at each stage and then compensate. He
visualized the feel of the water on his face, how his body
would feel after the first 25 meters of a 100-meter race,
the sensation of tiredness and how to overcome it. In
training he would elevate his legs on a wall, picture the
race in his mind, and tell himself: “This is how my body
is going to feel and this is what it’s going to look like
when I’m racing. There’s only so much I can control.”
In doing so, Chris confirms Pillay’s method of
visualizing in the first person. This is now routine for
him.
Moments before a race, all competitors are put in
the same waiting room. This is nerve-racking and
intimidating because they’re all facing each other. To
turn off such distractions, Chris would drape a towel
over his head. This also enabled him to get into the
competition zone, to concentrate and imagine himself

in the pool, going over every move and turn in the water,
and seeing himself hit the finish wall.
This imagery method worked. Chris says it was one
more element responsible for getting him to his goal –
representing Canada in two Olympics (Atlanta in 1996
and Sydney in 2000) and reaching for a gold medal.
“This is what worked for me and this is what my body
did well,” he says.
You may not be gifted with Chris’s athletic skills, but
can you apply this visualization method to business?
Indeed. Chris now works for a large multinational as a
Business Development Manager. He applies this same
imagery method to business. He does his planning before
his meetings and visualizes the outcome, imagining
himself in the first person and also the third person. In his
mind he plans and prepares for discussions with clients:
For example, when planning a meeting he visualizes the
venue, the people in the room, where he will be seated
at a table or negotiation. He creates an image of “how
they look, how will they respond and what will they say
to me,” he tells me. Imagery helps him remain calm for
potential conflicts with distributors.
While my interviews with Chris were stimulating,
interesting, and fun, I wasn’t at all surprised about the
benefits of imagery. I have met many people who have
embraced this concept, from athletes, executives, and
entrepreneurs to students and stay-at-home moms. It’s
also helped me reach my goals. In Chris’s opinion, “It’s
never wasted time to visualize – you can’t lose!”
I’ve found that in discussing the merits of imagery,

it’s becoming less and less about spirituality or the
unexplained and more about our ability to reach into
that untapped potential of the brain, thereby giving
us more control and ultimately, success. Whatever the
mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
Imagery vs. positive thinking
In imagery, you create a clear picture of the outcome.

You ask for the outcome, you proceed to believe in the
outcome, and you then receive the outcome – hence the
Ask/Believe/Receive thought process.
Positive thinking methodology, on the other hand,
requires you to repeat a phrase or idea such as “I will
sell a house today… I will sell a house today…” Which
method is more effective? Are they not similar? Is one
better than the other?
In Chris’s view, the subconscious engrains/transforms
a thought into an emotion. They both could translate
into a deliverable because some people need perpetual
reminders. One person may prefer one method over the
other.
When I asked Chris if he picked up this knowledge
about imagery from benchmarking, or if a fellow
swimmer had shared this knowledge with him, he told
me that no one had shared it with him. Although he had
read a book called The Secret26 and enjoyed some of its
knowledge, he’d designed his own way of visualizing
success. Besides, it would have been pretty difficult to ask
an opponent for tips on imagery, he told me! According
to Chris, with some things you will only know if they

work through a process of trial and error.
Going through a visualization process each time
you compete or get ready for an important presentation
does not guarantee its success. Like many of the topics
discussed throughout this book, these ingredients will
help you, yet none of them are silver bullets that will
deliver immediate and guaranteed success. I enjoy
presenting imagery to my audiences by raising the
enormous benefits of programming and focusing
thought, yet despite my claims and numerous examples
of successful people, my clients often shy away from it.
One thing is for sure. If you don’t try it, it can’t help
you. That applies to all principles. If you combine one or
many of the ingredients that you believe may work for
you and you enjoy the exercise, this will amplify your
chances of success.
Powerful questions
1. Given what you’ve read about imagery, what are

the differences between visualizing yourself in
the first person or the third person before a race
or competition?
2. If you invest time in imagery and you don’t get
what you asked for, what’s the worst thing that
can happen?
3. If you were standing on the peak of a mountain
looking down over your personal life, what
would it look like?

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7
Heroes: Do They Really Make
a Difference?
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”
̶ Muhammad Ali
Some people are drivers; they know exactly where

they’re going and what direction to take. Some people
are wanderers; they spend a good portion of their lives
wandering, trying to determine what’s next in life. Yet
others have a fire in their bellies, a passion that transforms
what they’ve done into something simply remarkable.
These are the ones who reach greatness. My personal
heroes are in that third category. They’ve displayed
courage time and time again and have risked everything
to get what they want. Like most of us, they’ve had fears,
but those fears were replaced with determination. What
they’ve done makes people think: “I’ve still got a long
way to go, and that’s OK.”
How far can you push your limits? How can you push
your fears? Can you also become truly remarkable or great?
Think about someone you admire today, a leader in
sports or politics or business perhaps. As you read about
my three heroes, consider your hero and ask yourself:
“Does my leader have similar traits? Can I do the same?”
I often ask my clients at the beginning of our

coaching discussions when we set goals: “Who is your
hero? It can be a work-related mentor, a demigod, a
grandparent, a big brother or sister, or a peer you’ve
worked with who has made a long-lasting impression
on you.”
I use the concept of heroes because Coaching is
about change. In the case of many senior leaders, what
needs to change is their behavior. Once we agree which
behavior needs to change, we make a plan, and the
client commits to making that change. If they’re still
having a problem changing that behavior to the point
of giving up or renegotiating the need to change it at
all, I will ask the key question: “Tell me what your hero
would do in a similar situation?” My clients usually
pause and reflect for a few moments, then smile, and
with renewed commitment say something like: “My
hero would have the courage to make that change in
their behavior – they would not retreat.”
The hero angle always prevails. It puts a desired
change back on track. It’s very effective as a method,
one that I use often while coaching clients. If you
admire someone like your hero, it’s probably because
they do or have something that you cannot do or don’t
have; and besides, don’t you want to be just like your
hero?
I have many heroes. My list gets longer as I get older.
Some of my heroes have already come and gone, but
their effect has been timeless, and their influence has
helped me to get back on track when I needed a boost.
Therein lies the power of the hero!
Hero #1
Muhammad Ali was born on January 17, 1942, in

Louisville, Kentucky. He won a gold medal at the 1960
Olympic Games in Rome in boxing and turned pro on
October 29, 1960. Then in 1964, he defeated Sonny Liston
in six rounds to become heavyweight champion of the
world. Ali was black and colorful in every way you can
imagine. He was both a great boxer and a showman.
As a child I remember seeing his left jab – it was like
a lightning bolt. His favorite expression was “Float like a
butterfly, sting like a bee.”27 He had an unusual boxing
strategy. He’d let his opponents hit him repeatedly till
they got tired, and then he’d finish them off. He was loud,
cocky, funny, and yet in the boxing world he was a true
gentleman. As a child, I wanted to be like Ali. “I am the
Greatest!” he would say… and he truly was. I still have
many pictures of him in his boxing gear.
Like most successful professional athletes, Ali com
manded the headlines and had the bank account to
show for it. He was at the pinnacle of his career while
still quite young; boxers can’t be on top for very long. No
opponent could beat him and all the fans loved him. Then
it happened. That moment of courage I referred to earlier.
On April 28, 1967, with the United States at war in
Vietnam, Ali refused to be inducted into the armed forces,
saying “I ain’t got no quarrel with those Vietcong.” Later in
1967, Ali was convicted of draft evasion, sentenced to five
years in prison, fined $10,000, and banned from boxing
for three years. While his case was on appeal, he stayed
out of prison, returning to the ring three years later. On
March 8, 1971, Ali fought Joe Frazier in the Fight of the

Century and lost after 15 rounds. It was the first loss of
his professional boxing career. On June 28 of that same
year, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned his conviction
for draft evasion.
In January 1974, seven years after refusing to go to
Vietnam, Ali made his comeback when he defeated Joe
Frazier. On October 30 of that same year, although an
underdog, Ali bested George Foreman and reclaimed his
heavyweight champion belt at the hugely hyped “Rumble
in the Jungle” in Kinshasa, Zaire (now known as the
Democratic Republic of the Congo), with a knockout in
the eighth round.
So, what’s so special about this fellow? Refusing to
enlist was a major gamble for Ali on all fronts. He could
have lost the respect of his worldwide fans, “Hmm,
Heavyweight Champion and yet afraid to go to war?!” He
risked being imprisoned and worse still, he was banned
from boxing while in his prime.
1967: Muhammad Ali punches the bag. Reprinted with permission

from: The Palm Beach Post/ZUMA Wire/Alamy Live News
But Ali was courageous. He believed that Vietnam

was a mistake and he refused to enlist despite losing
his title, his future income, and the celebrity status that
came with them. How many people do you know who
would take that kind of risk?
The fighter in Ali decided to start over and prove
again to the world that he was The Greatest. It took him
seven years to regain the title, a truly Herculean task.
When he died in 2016, I was sad. Very sad. The man
was a legend, an icon, a role model. I often wonder if his
boxing strategy of being hit repeatedly somehow led to his
developing Parkinson’s disease. He continued to inspire the
young and oppressed by reminding them that if he could
make it, anybody could make it. He, too, was oppressed.
This excerpt was taken from an interview with Oprah
Winfrey that appeared in the June 2001 issue of O, The
Oprah Magazine:
The home office where Muhammad Ali greets me is

a photo gallery of a legend’s life. There’s a framed cover
of a 1974 naming a young, tuxedo-clad Ali Sportsman
of the Year; a snapshot of him opposite Nelson Mandela,
their hands clenched into fists as if they’re boxing; a poster
of Ali and Michael Jordan, with two words inscribed
beneath them: “The Greatest.” Those are his words —
the declaration of a man who, now 59 and stricken with
Parkinson›s disease, shakes uncontrollably, speaks slowly,
and slurs his words; you have to listen with your ear turned
up. Yet at the height of his boxing career in the racially
turbulent 1960s, Ali did something no black person had
ever done: He hailed himself as «the greatest of all time.»
That controversial proclamation catapulted him further

into the spotlight. A few years later, after he received death
threats because he refused to serve in Vietnam, he realized
his bold declarations might eventually cost him his life.
Oprah: Your brother said that when you came

home after winning the Olympic gold in 1960, you
were refused service at a restaurant in Louisville.
Muhammad Ali: I walked in and tried to order
two hamburgers, and I was told, «We don›t serve
Negroes.» I said, «Good—because I don›t eat them
either.» They said, «You’re a smart nigger—get out of
here!» So I left and drove to the bridge and threw my
gold medal in the river. A black man in America can
win an Olympic gold medal, but he can’t even come
home and be served a hamburger.
Oprah: Do you regret throwing your medal in the
river?
Muhammad Ali: Now I do!
Oprah: Ever since you began boxing, others
have seen potential in you. When did you know that
boxing was your gift?
Muhammad Ali: When I won the Golden Gloves in
1960, that made me realize I had a chance. And when I
won at the Olympics, that sealed it: I was the champ.28
In 1999, Time magazine named Ali one of the 100

most important people of the twentieth century.29 He
was crowned Sportsman of the Century by Sports
Illustrated30 and was presented the Presidential Medal
of Freedom on November 9, 2005.31
Bethany Hamilton. Reprinted with permission from Mary

Cernsdorf @rockingseaphotography
Hero #2
Surfer Bethany Hamilton, who I first discovered on

social media, also had the courage to push on when
she really wanted something. She suffered a terrible
life-threatening injury, yet she had the courage to face
her fear. Read her story and ask yourself: If Bethany
can do what she did, perhaps my challenge pales in
comparison, so could I do this, too? Can I push away
my fears? Can I also become truly remarkable or great?
On October 31, 2003, at the age of 13, Bethany
was attacked by a 15-foot tiger shark while surfing off
Kauai’s North Shore in Hawaii. She lost over 60% of her
blood and was lucky to be left alive. The shark severed
her left arm just below the shoulder, seemingly ending

her career as a rising surf star just as it was beginning.
In January 2005, Bethany made her return to surf
competition. She’d gotten up on a surfboard just a
month after the attack. She continued to enter and
excel in competitions. Just over two years after the
attack she took first place in the Explorer Women’s
division of the 2005 National Scholastic Surfing
Association National Championships, winning her
first national title.32 Let’s pause for a second. Even after
this terrible encounter, this young lady goes back in
the water knowing full well that sharks are plentiful,
and she keeps surfing. I can only imagine what was
going through her mind, as she was getting back in
the water.
If you fall off your bicycle, or your horse, or your
motorcycle, the only way to face your fear is to get right
back on, no matter how bruised up you are. But in
Bethany’s case, we’re not talking about simple bruises
– the sharks were still there, somewhere. Undeterred,
in 2007, Bethany realizes her dream and turns pro. She
gets back in the water. She competes. She wins. Given
the circumstances, what are the odds of combining all
three actions?
So, the next time your dream goal seems
challenging, remember that a dream takes courage
and faith, and it requires that you face your fears. And
like Bethany, no matter what dangers exist, no matter
how severe the consequences, you can survive and
live to see another day.
Hero #3
Jeff Immelt from General Electric once quoted

mentors as being “People you trust to provide
feedback and advice.”33 Mentors open doors, are
generous of spirit and time, and best of all, a mentor’s
time is free.
Back in 1998, I met a fellow called Bob Henson
who described himself as “a good ole boy from
Birmingham, Alabama.” He had the skills I needed
and after six weeks of consulting, mentoring, and
design, he’d helped me to completely redesign my
national sales team in Romania. Bob delivered on
his promise. He became not only my mentor, but
also my third hero. In our careers, I believe we all
need to look up to a hero to help us meet our goals.
Bob was not only a hero; he was also a role model.
He has displayed courage time and time again and
has risked everything to get what he wants. The
difference with Bob and some of my other heroes is
that Bob is now 85 years old. Most people at this age
start to slow down. But not Bob: He had one objective
in mind and to achieve it, he pushed himself to his
very limit.
Bob Henson, Paul Renaud and Phyllis Henson.

Reprinted with permission from Bob Henson.
Source: Maria Andrei, Style and Nature 2016.
I’ve recorded a couple of interviews with him, if

you’re interested.34
Bob worked for an international agency doing tele
com munications consulting work across the world,
which allowed him and his wife Phyllis to travel to some
countries that were not as easily accessible, like North
Korea and Cuba.
Because of his work, by 2011 Bob had visited 200
countries. He then decided to go for it. His goal? To visit
them all. Now according to The Travelers’ Century Club,
in 2011, there were 324 territories or sovereign states,
exclaves, and island groups (by 2019, this would grow to
32935 ). Although some are not actually countries in their
own right, they are considered as such because they are
removed from their parent, geographically, politically,

or ethnologically.
While Bob was attempting to visit all 324, his most
important challenge was to visit the last country on his
list in order to hit the magic number of 324, probably the
most violent and certainly a country that is not advisable
to visit: Libya. How would they do it?
Both Bob and Phyllis hid from armed Libyan soldiers
behind the backseat of a 1976 Mercedes coupe at the Libya-
Egypt border. Not too many Americans try to smuggle
themselves into Libya at midnight. But they made it. Bob
made some quick telecommunication equipment tests
and documented them. That was all he needed.
“When we crossed back into Egypt, I cannot tell

you the peace we felt,” Bob says. “It was a weight off
our shoulders. When we truly realized we were safe, we
realized we had done it. 324! It was done!”
Hitting a record of 324 countries carried a price tag.

But it was an adrenaline rush. What compelled the then
80-year-old fellow and his wife to put themselves into so
much danger and cross into Libya to finally tick the box?
Passion? Courage? Fate? Or, as Bob puts it: “It just felt like
the thing to do.” Bob and Phyllis are the real deal. In Bob’s
opinion, they are probably 2 out of only 8 to 10 people in
the world to have accomplished this important milestone.
The next time your dream goal seems unattainable
in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, think again. Remember that
a dream takes time, tenacity, and courage, and more
importantly, it’s never too late to do what you want to
do. As Muhammad Ali, Bethany Hamilton, and Bob

Henson have shown, you can always win, no matter the
risk, the obstacles, or the danger.
What have you planned that is exciting and gutsy?
What have you always wanted to do?
My heroes: Demigods, aliens, or ordinary people?
In the case of my three heroes, are we talking about

demigods, aliens, or ordinary people?
Like Heracles, Muhammad Ali faced what seemed
like impossible challenges, and despite intense pressure
and personal sacrifice, he stuck to his principles and
made his comeback. He showed great strength, both
mental and physical.
Bethany would not give up her surfing dream. Despite
her horrific experience she overcame her fears, got back
on her surfboard, and turned pro. Was she touched by
the hand of God? She certainly is gifted with talent and
perhaps her faith did give her a helping hand along the
way, but what is crucial: She wanted it.
And Bob? At 80 years old, he set his sights on his bucket
list – to visit every country, territory, exclave, and island in
the world no matter what it took. In the face of extreme
danger, he crossed that finish line into country No. 324.
Not bad for a good ole boy from Birmingham, Alabama.
They may or may not be demigods. They may or
may not be aliens. But they are all special. They are
all role models. And what they all have in common is
determination, willpower, tenacity, and self-belief. These
human strengths allowed them to overcome the odds

and realize their dreams. They got what they wanted.
Chris’s view on looking up to heroes
Chris had two heroes at home: His mom and dad.

It’s not uncommon for parents to support their kids
by getting them to try different sports, or have music
lessons on different instruments, or take art classes till
something hopefully sticks. However, when it comes
to Olympic sports in Canada, on many occasions,
parents must pay for expenses including supplementary
coaching fees, training, and travel.
I remember Chris’s father Ray telling me that when
Chris finally qualified for his first Olympics in Atlanta,
the cost of each ticket per competition was about
$600USD per person, in 1996 dollars. These tickets
had to be paid for six months in advance without any
guarantee that Chris would make it to the finals. In other
words, both parents bought tickets without knowing
if Chris would qualify for the finals. The prices were
extremely high given the scarcity of the tickets, the size
of the venue, and the number of people worldwide on
waiting lists to buy Olympic tickets. Add to this air travel
and hotels which also had to be prepaid given the busy
Olympic period.
Ray was a thriving entrepreneur back then. He’d left
the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to start his own
business in special investigations consulting and like any
small business, his cash flow was sometimes precarious.
Added to this was Chris’s grueling 14-hour days

consisting of daily training for 6 hours, plus 8 hours at
school. Swim training was from 5am to 8am. Then Chris
would go to school from 9am to 5pm only to return to
the pool from 6pm till 9pm. He trained every weekday
and on Saturdays. It was also his job to wake up his dad
at 4.30am each morning to drive him to the pool.
Chris’s mom Kathy also had to sacrifice her schedule
to accommodate Chris’s swimming. She contributed to
his swimming expenses by working night shifts at a large
supermarket, from 2am till 8am. When Chris needed his
mom’s car to get to school after swim training, he’d get
his dad to drive him to the supermarket rather than to
the pool. This then created a problem since Kathy had to
walk home. Now a 4 km walk may not seem like a big deal
but in Calgary, Alberta, winter temperatures can drop to
-40°F (-40° C) so indeed walking home in this kind of
weather after a night shift was tough. This was Kathy’s
way of supporting Chris’s school and swimming schedule.
Clearly both parents were committed and although
we’re not all lucky to have parents to support us, it does
beg the question: Would I go through this kind of 6-day
routine and could I ask my parents do the same?
Aside from his mom and dad Chris did not mention
a specific hero or person he admired, but there were
athletes that he’d read about, and he did keep inspirational
quotes in his wallet. He would look at his peers on the
team and ask himself what they would do to beat him or
what he’d have to do to beat them. After tough training,
he would ask himself, “How can I do more when my
body says no more?”
Chris used quotations to help him. He’d post them in

his locker as he trained for the ’96 Olympics. One read:
No pain, no gain.
Powerful questions
1. Picture your most cherished hero in your mind.

Now think about your biggest challenge or that
decision you need to make: How would your
hero prevail or decide?
2. Do a bit of research on your favorite hero and
single out a mistake or failure they had to
endure. How can you apply this learning to
your situation? If you fail at something, which is
a learning experience in itself, ask yourself how
your hero would react to this kind of situation.
3. What else about your hero are you curious to
discover?

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8
The Team Effect:
Can it Push You Forward?
“Elite performers hang around elite performers.”
̶ Chris
In his book The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick

Lencioni often refers to teams in a business context. One
of these 5 dysfunctions is the avoidance of accountability.
Lencioni defines accountability as:
“The willingness of team members to remind one

another when they are not living up to the performance
standards of the group… peer-to peer accountability
and it is based on the notion that peer pressure and
the distaste for letting down a colleague will motivate
a team member more than any fear of authoritative
punishment or rebuke.”36
I could not agree more. It’s easier to remember that

you are accountable to your peers rather than wait for
the boss (or the team’s coach) to remind you.
According to Lencioni:
“Teams that trust one another are not afraid to engage in

passionate dialogue around issues and decisions that are key
to the organization’s success. They do not hesitate to disagree
with, challenge and question one another. All in the spirit of
finding the best answers, discovering the truth, and making
great decisions.”37
He reminds us that a team that focuses on collective

results benefits from individuals who subjugate their
own goals/interests to the good of the team.38
Being part of a team, like a football team, or even if
competing in an individual sport like swimming, makes
you part of something bigger than just yourself. Much
of the wisdom gained from being part of a team is the
disciplined pursuit of greatness. Working as a team can
bring exponential results.
Adding to this, you can derive energy when you’re
part of a team. You can get energy by watching a peer
struggle and you decide to help them out or, on the
contrary, if a peer does better than you, this pushes you
to persevere and finetune some of those weaker skills
you’ve been avoiding. I had such a peer. His name was
François. He had more energy than most of us. He’d fight
for his ideas. He’d eventually wear us out and ultimately,
we’d succumb. François was the loudest voice in our
meetings. He was relentless. Inasmuch as his personality
annoyed me at times, in some weird, twisted way, I
admired him.
When the boss promoted the next in line, who do
you think got the nod? François. Was I happy about this?
No, not really but I do remember that after a brief while,
his promotion had put me back on track for my next

promotion. He gave me energy. Looking back on my
career, François was a catalyst who pushed me to become
better. I understood why my boss chose François and
I gave him my support. I learned an interesting lesson
in management when my boss told me: “Paul in a team
of leaders, it should come as no surprise as to who will
be next for a promotion.” My boss was right. The one
who leads without having been promoted should be
promoted! That lesson serves me well today when my
clients are confronted with a similar situation.
Chris’s view on the team effect on people
For Chris, being part of a team was everything! Being

surrounded by his swimming buddies, there were perhaps
true moments of listening to his inner voice or his inner
compass. He was part of club and something bigger
than just himself. Chris liked the swimming lessons. “It
was all about friends at the swim club.” At a young age,
he understood that this was not in fact work but fun, all
because of his friends, who were part of a team.
The friends appeal of the swim team didn’t change.
As Chris got older, he was competing head on with his
friends and he also learned from them. Training was
more intense among the higher caliber swimmers and
Chris got stronger physically. When contemplating the
Olympics, his teammates were all convinced that they
would make it. Chris figured he would, too. He hated
to lose or miss out, so this “my peers are going to the
Olympics” mentality rubbed off on him. After all, why

shouldn’t he make it to the Olympics?
“When you’re in a group of kids that want to

compete intensively, you get into a cadence with
your peers. So naturally you’re expecting to go to
the Olympics. We all had the same mindset, an ‘elite
performance’ mindset. We were winning all the time
and we were pushing each other. All of us contributed
to each other on the team.”
Even if sometimes you compete against your peers,

“you are a byproduct of the people you are surrounded
by,” as Chris puts it. “We were like-minded, which meant
we wanted to have more success.”
According to Chris, “elite performers hang around
elite performers.”39 You want to hang around someone
who’s judged by their performance. It’s a source of
inspiration; a source of alignment. It pushes you forward.
Was it a matter of physical strength? Strength helps of
course, but with the mindset of an elite athlete, you’ll do
what most others can’t and won’t do.
Chris told me that when you train for an individual
sport like swimming it’s common to be sidetracked and
demotivated after a series of setbacks. Yet observing
your peers when they struggle or when they overcome a
challenge can have a significant effect on anyone. During
a peer’s difficult moment, you can think to yourself:
I know the pain they’re going through. During a peer’s
moment of joy, you think to yourself: I can do this too. In
fact, I can do better and if I don’t do better, they’ll beat me.
This is the same in business. When you lead a team

of people and you miss the mark, the target, or the goal,
your team members look to you for guidance. How do
you get the energy you need to get back on track in a
difficult moment? One way is to pull the team together
and remind them that you all need each other. True,
everyone works on their own and basically, you’re all
individuals hired to do a job in an area in which you’re
presumably a subject matter expert. However, when a
challenge comes up, it’s nice to be able to rely on a peer
or on your boss for guidance and ideas. This is where the
team effect becomes potent. It’s potent because you can’t
do it all on your own, and by having your peers support
you, this can create a phenomenal boost.
Another angle I like to emphasize is when it comes to
the team effect cliche: “A team working together is much
stronger than the sum of its individual parts.” I know
you’ve heard this before. In my experience, the effect
happens over and over again, and it proves that when
you work as a team, the results are amplified. Look at any
team that has accomplished a significant milestone and
you’ll find a group of individuals who don’t hesitate to
disagree with, challenge, and question one another. Yet
despite the tension and the pressure, they come together,
combine their expertise and experience and prevail:
They create something unique, beautiful, or disruptive.
Even if you’re exceptional at what you do, even if
you’re a superstar, even if you’re best in class, one day you
may not be at the top of your game for whatever reason.
It could be poor timing, a bad vibe, terrible weather. You
might be too tired or have had a break down. You won’t
be top dog when you need to be and you won’t be able to

perform at your optimum.
Now, if you had the foresight, the generosity, and the
good judgement to help out a fellow team member in
the past when they had a terrible run, rest assured that
your act of altruism will come back to help you when
you’re faced with a setback. If you’ve achieved a victory
and praised your team members for having helped you,
acknowledging their merits, then this is when you fully
understand why the team effect works. It works because
team members help out fellow team members.
Clearly, Chris had to compete alone given the nature
of his sport but working in a team enabled him to move
beyond difficult moments. It energized him when his
peers were beating their best times. This motivation for
Chris to outperform would come in handy when say, the
team swam a 4 X 100-meter Medley Relay; it gave him
another chance to win that gold. Chris understood and
embodied the team effect.
The team effect at the University of Calgary pushed
Chris to aim much higher than he would have had he
stayed at the Cascade swim club. It’s said that a man is
known by the company he keeps, and by surrounding
himself with the best possible elite teammates, Chris
had a chance to become an elite performer as well.
And he did. He went on to represent his country in the
Olympics – twice.
Chris at 1994 Commonwealth Games in Victoria where his team

won the silver medal for 4 X 100 meter Medley Relay event.
Source: Ray Renaud.
Powerful questions
1. I f you agree with the team effect, which

essentially shows that people do better when
they work as a team, who can you recruit
tomorrow to be part of your team?
2. I f you expect your teammates to support you,
then what are the advantages of having your
peers challenge you?
3.In your next team meeting, what could you do
differently?

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9
Are you a Happy Camper?1
There is good stress and there is bad stress.
Stamina
On the topic of stamina, there’s a section in The 7

Habits of Highly Effective People, where the author
Stephen R. Covey tells how he was instructed by his
coach to try some bench presses, and to see how many
repetitions he could do with a significant weight.
Covey learned through this experience that the body
gets stronger when you reach breaking point. It’s the point
when your body says, “I can’t lift this weight anymore”
and the brain says, “You have to.” That breaking point is
where the muscle gets the maximum impact, causing it
to grow and get bigger. It’s what most body builders look
for. You don’t gain muscle by doing easy repetitions.40
I asked Chris if training for the Olympics was similar
to what Covey had discovered during his weightlifting
1 Happy camper is a North American expression that describes

complete happiness experienced by a kid at summer camp. In a
business context, it means someone who is happy and satisfied,
for example, with their job or a product.
experience. It was. During his training sessions, Chris

would find those moments daily when he’d find the
pain in the last 25 meters. In those 25 meters he was
essentially pushing himself to a point where his muscles
could seize up at any time. It became mental as well as
physical exercise. His body said “no” but his brain said,
“we have to!”
Chris knows all about seizing up. It happened to
him. Once in a competition, in the last 50 meters, he
stopped and couldn’t go on. He barely made it out of the
pool on his own. He had pushed himself so much that
he could no longer move. His muscles had seized up;
they couldn’t fire anymore because there was too much
lactate in them. Luckily, there was no physical damage
to the muscle, only the embarrassment of being pulled
out of the pool. Both Covey and Chris would agree,
“no pain, no gain.” To reach your potential you need to
stretch yourself to and past your limits.
Stress reduction
Stamina is what you need to push yourself, to make

your muscles grow and to develop the resilience to keep
going. But what if stress is added to the mix?
There is good stress and there is bad stress. Statistics
are consistent. There is enough research that suggests
that stress will make you ill. According to the National
Institute of Health in the USA, 80%–90% of all illnesses
are either directly or indirectly linked to stress.41
That’s the gist of an Associated Press story, too, about
a report by the International Labour Organization (ILO).
Job Stress: The 20th Century Disease says that stress-

related injury claims on the job “have climbed from 5
percent of all occupational disease claims in 1980 to 15
percent a decade later.” The ILO, an arm of the United
Nations, estimates the cost of job stress in the USA alone
to be at $200 billion annually.42
Countless reports indicate that most of the stress that
people feel is due to work-related issues such as time
management (or a lack thereof), workload, deadlines,
and dealing with difficult co-workers. The good news
is that you can do something about stress in your day-
to-day activities and regain control of your life. As we’ll
see later, exercise and rest are ideal ways to relieve stress.
But what else can you do to relieve stress? The Internet
is full of ideas, but I’d like to point out the ones that have
worked for me and some of my clients:
Get that morning edge. Getting up 10–-15 minutes

earlier and packing a lunch or getting your clothes ready
the night before can help you get organized.
Avoid procrastination. One sure way to add to your

stress is to put off decisions and actions. Action itself will
always reduce mounting stress. Try the simple trick of
writing down all the tasks you face, however unpleasant.
Rearrange them in order of urgency. Allot a definite
time to each. And get them done.
Breathe right. When you’re stressed, you’ll have a

tendency to take shallow breaths, which can result in
feeling more tense. Try this: Start by inhaling deeply
through the nose and counting to 6, then hold for 3 and

exhale for 3. Do this 5 times. Then change it around:
inhale and count to 3, hold for 6, and exhale for 3. Then
inhale for 3, hold for 3, exhale for 6. Concentrate on your
counting and breathing. You will notice how amazing
this is in getting you into a more relaxed state.
Avoid e-mail jail. E-mail is still the most common

and pervasive form of communication, alongside text
messaging and WhatsApp-type applications. These
combinations can be stressful to manage. Opening a full
e-mail box can be overwhelming, not to mention time
consuming. I was debating between using Tim Ferris’ s
model in his book called The 4 hour work week but one of
my clients gave me an even better way to avoid e-mail jail,
especially after coming back from a holiday. I was amazed
when we met up on his return on how fast he was able to
get back to work at a low stress level. Here it is:
During my vacations, I switch myself off from

work. Now, back to business, I have another familiar
challenge to deal with. How to clean up the hundreds
of unread emails, respond to meeting invitations, and
deal with escalations and questions while still keeping
at least a little bit of that summer holiday spirit alive?
Here’s what I suggest:
1. Go back to work on a Thursday or Friday. You’ll

only have one or two days before it’s the weekend
again, making it easier to stay in the holiday mood.
2. Go undercover. Block the full first day in your agenda

as if you are still on vacation. Don’t accept any meetings
or appointments. Preferably, don’t even go to the office.
3. Open your laptop and your Outlook. Synchronize

your inbox and when done, immediately go offline
(use the “Work Offline” button in Outlook). This is
an important step. If you don’t do this, as soon as you
respond to the first email, people will notice you’re
back in the office and will start sending you emails,
reaching you on Zoom, etc.
4. Go through your emails from top to bottom,

from the most recent to the oldest. Often questions
asked two weeks ago have been answered already by
someone else. And many times, a single email will
end up in an entire thread. By reading the most recent
one, you’re immediately done with all the others.
5. Read the emails and act immediately (no

exceptions). There are basically three types of emails
that require three types of actions:
a. Emails with information. Easy. Once you read

the email, you are done (SPAM and newsletters
fall into this category).
b. Emails with questions or requests. If you can
answer or take action in no more than three
minutes, do it immediately and you’re done. If
not, the email falls into Category c.
c. Emails that require you to spend a substantial

amount of time. For these, keep an action list.
Write down in one sentence what you need to
do, and if possible, estimate how urgent is it and
how long it will take. Put this type of email into a
separate folder, so that your inbox will be empty
when you’re done.
6. When done processing emails in this way (it

normally takes a few hours), your inbox will be
empty, your outbox full, and you’ll have a list of fresh
to dos. Now start scheduling these to dos (meetings
or phone calls, too). Finally, when you have sorted
out your schedule, respond to all senders to let them
know when they can expect your answer.
7. Prepare yourself for the real world. Go back

online and send out all those emails that were placed
in your outbox. From this moment, your cover is
blown. Make sure you are ready to go back to work,
because within the next hour you’ll receive many
immediate responses to your emails. People will start
conversations on Zoom and your phone will start
ringing.
8. Deal with the responses like you dealt with the

other emails in step 5 (but this time in online mode)
until you have a clean inbox again. Wait another half
hour to ensure that the storm is over. Close your
laptop knowing you have survived the first day after
your vacation and you are completely up to date.
Think positive. Take a few minutes to find gratitude

for all the good things in your life. Recognizing what
you have (and at times take for granted) can instantly
improve your mood and outlook.
Do things you enjoy. Try to do something for

YOU or something you love every day to give yourself
something to look forward to. Most stress arises from
feelings of being out of control and doing things for
everybody else. By taking care of yourself first, you can
begin to gain control and ensure that your workday is as
relaxed as possible. Go ahead… spoil yourself.
Chris’s view on stress reduction
During our discussions, Chris revealed that he

reduced stress through sports. Even before his first
milestones in swimming, he had acquired an interest in
other sports such as hockey, basketball, volleyball, cross
country running, track and field, and wrestling, which
actually helped him in swimming. He still plays hockey,
where he can let his frustrations out. He practices yoga,
which he considers to be the best thing ever to relax.
Reading is another form of relaxation he uses to avoid
everyday stress.
When day-to-day or work-related issues come up,
it’s always good to have a sanctuary. This could be
meditating, reading, spending time with the kids and/or
your partner, socializing with friends, going to a movie,
anything really that gets you out of the stress zone, if only
for few minutes. Many people who love sports and, like
Chris, have been able to inject sports into their weekly

routine. The benefits are noticeable when it comes to
stress reduction. If you engage in a sport you like, your
stress goes away, because for that brief moment your
mind is thinking about something else. It doesn’t have
to be any more complicated than that. If it works for you,
then as the Nike commercial says: “Just do it!”
Powerful questions
1. If you agree that there is good stress and there

is bad stress, how do you plan to manage stress
moving forward?
2. Try to remember a recent stressful situation.
What physical and emotional effects did you
feel?
3. Given the answer to Q#2, how are you going
to use the learning in this section to be more
aware and proactive about the dangers of bad
stress?

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10
Diet: What Does Your Fuel
Consist of?
“You are what you eat.”
̶ Victor Lindlahr
Diet
Do diets and rest really matter when it comes to

performance? There is no shortage of articles, books,
classes, and fad-type programs that claim to help you
to miraculously lose 10 kg in 10 days. These ongoing
programs say they’ll get you back on track and coach
you on the benefits of a proper diet. Everything from
avoiding eating unhealthy snacks to getting enough
fruit and vegetables. Vegan menus are touted to increase
your level of energy, because we all know that junk food
depletes stamina. One thing is for sure: A great diet has
the right fuel to energize you to meet your milestones.
If you ask anyone’s opinion about the diet of an
Olympian, they’d probably mention a strict intake
of foods, scientifically controlled and measured to
guarantee top performance. Good input translates into
good output, right?
As an athlete, Chris did not always treat his body as

a temple. After the Atlanta Olympics, he was getting
less than four hours of sleep on average; 60%–70% of
his diet was fast food. He started to party on Friday
nights and discovered alcohol. This led to parties on
Saturday nights, too. He was 21 or 22 at the time. His
poor diet was compounded by several factors. The
Internet offered some information back then in the
late 1990s (remember Netscape?), but Google was
not yet established. There was published information
on proper diet and nutrition, but not nearly as much
as there is today. There were research materials, but
that meant going to the library to get information on
a proper diet. Chris didn’t find the idea going to the
library very appealing.
Neither did he get any orders from his coach with
respect to sleep and diet. Diet was neither mandated
nor scrutinized by the Canadian Olympic Team. It
was completely up to Chris as to what he ate and how
much sleep he got. The Canadian Olympic Association
had prepared guidelines, but it was up to the athlete to
follow them…or not.
After his first Olympics, Chris was living on his
own and responsible for his own diet, nutrition, and
lifestyle. He found it difficult to get a balanced meal on
a tight budget; mom was no longer buying the food he
needed.
In the lead-up to his second Olympics, Chris got
worse: “When you’re in the middle of it, you can’t
evaluate what you are doing.” Diet was a huge blind
spot for him.
Chris remembers that in the early 1990s, for

professional hockey players (a very popular sport for
most Canadians), you could show up at training camp
in August, out of shape and overweight, and you’d
probably still make the team. Today though, hockey
players train all year. If you show up unfit at camp,
someone else will take your place.
Chris now knows better, and his message is: “Don’t
assume you know everything; today you have the right
specialists to give you the right information at the
right time!” He believed that Lenny Krayzelburg, the
Olympian who beat him in 2000 and went on to take
the gold medal probably had a lot more support from
the US Olympic Team regarding diet, nutrition, and
rest. He most likely got more advice on how to improve
his times and how to crank up his caliber as an athlete.
Or maybe he was simply more willing to accept a very
strict way of life. Was it now Krayzelburg’s turn to earn
the status of demigod? He won two medals that year –
both golds.
Fast forward to today: Why treat your body like a

temple if you’re no longer an Olympian?
At the height of his swimming career, Chris weighed

79 kilos (~174 lbs) and was 180 cm (5’9”) – the typical
shape of a demigod. However, after the Olympics he
didn’t take care of himself. He put on 30 kg (~66 lbs).
Eating fast food (still the same bad habit he had
while competing) was depriving him of the energy he
needed. And he wasn’t sleeping well. He felt tired all
the time. Clearly something had to be done. He went

to Weight Watchers for about a year.
Weight Watchers has been around for decades as
a time-tested system which doesn’t include fad diets
where you can lose 10 kg in one week or get your money
back. It uses a simple, easy to understand point system
or daily allowance of foods that you can eat. Each
food item carries certain points. For example, you’re
trying to lose weight and you have a daily allowance
of, say, 26 points. A cheeseburger carries 10 points
so if you eat one cheeseburger, you’re going to put a
serious dent in your daily points allowance. If you eat
two cheeseburgers (and that’s ok because you can eat
whatever you want), there’s very little else you can eat
for the rest of that day. Vegetables, on the other hand,
have no points so you can eat all the vegetables you
want.
The outcome? After following Weight Watchers
and eating broccoli as a nighttime snack, Chris got
back down to 79 kg (~174 lbs) – the same weight as
when he was training. His only indulgence: 70% dark
chocolate. Believing that sugar addiction is the same
type of cocaine addiction, he cut out desserts. He ate
fish or organic chicken.
Today, at age 43, how does Chris feel about proper
diet and rest? He calls it a complete 180-degree turn.
He exercises four times a week for about 1 to 1.5 hours.
He’s changed his diet to eat more vegetables, less meat,
and more high fiber. He stays away from sugar. He has
more energy. “At 43 years old I’m in better shape than
when I was 21,’’ he says.
Rest cannot be underestimated. Chris decided to

turn off the laptop at 10.30pm every night without fail.
He tries to get some rest at that time, or just lies awake
till about 11pm before sleeping. He gets up at 6am,
giving him at least 7.5 hours of rest and sleep. As a single
father he understands the meaning of juggling work,
life, and family. “My energy levels are tied to lying in
bed, sleep, nutrition, and lots of reading,” he explains.
He wanted to get in the best shape possible and he did.
He eats a more balanced diet, and he gets enough sleep.
He’s done it all for personal health reasons and for day-
to-day performance. It helps him cope with stress and
to create solutions at work.
Now you’re probably thinking, well of course it’s
easy for a former Olympian to take care of himself.
But is it? Clearly Chris had to do something once he
ballooned to 109 kg (~240 lbs). It’s quite common for
hard-core athletes who retire from professional sports
to gain weight, and in some cases, excessive weight. The
discipline that carries them to perform and look like
demigods takes its toll on their body and, well, like most
of us, they’d love to kick back and relax a bit for a while.
In some ways, former athletes are a lot like you and
me. Just because they’ve mastered top physical form
doesn’t mean they’ll always keep the same discipline
to continue. Like us mere mortals or ordinary people,
they too need discipline, especially if they’ve gained a
lot of weight.
You have the same challenges. You just need to make
up your mind if you’re going to do something about
them. Chris sure did and he’s reaping the benefits.
Powerful questions
1. What is the relevance of the expression “You

are what you eat”43 in the context of this
section?
2. Imagine your ideal diet. What comes to mind?
3. How will you consider changing your diet one
small step at a time while incorporating the
right amount of patience?

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11
Sleep: Is Sleeping on the Job
Good for Your Career?
“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest.
Use both and overlook neither.”
̶ Alan Cohen
The study of sleep is quite extensive. It includes topics

such as sleep deprivation, sleep disorders, REM sleep,
dreaming, insomnia, narcolepsy, snoring, and sleep apnea.
Are you getting enough sleep? Do you notice yourself
becoming moody or laughing for just about any reason
when you are tired? Probably. But you may not notice how
lack of sleep can affect your ability to deal with stress.
When facing a difficult decision, you may decide to
“sleep on it.” You may be confused, undecided, over
whelmed by a decision, and not sure what to do, but
after a good night’s sleep, you find you can think much
more clearly. You wake up knowing what to do to get the
job done or make the best decision. Not feeling rested
can make you feel overwhelmed. Sound familiar?
A usual guideline is a minimum of 8 hours as a goal
for adults – unless of course you are physically fit, then
you’ll notice that you need less sleep. If you didn’t get
a full night’s sleep, how about the perfect solution for

you: The power nap. According to leading brain science
authority Dr. Srini Pillay:
“Power naps are brief periods of sleep (15–30

minutes) that give the brain a chance to rest. It has been
found that these brief naps may be rejuvenating and
therefore help register and consolidate memories.”44
Yet no matter how much you’ve read about the merits

of a power nap, you still don’t find the time to take one.
When I suggest power naps to people, I usually get two
kinds of reactions: Some say they can’t do it; it doesn’t
work. Others say they’ve tried it, but they wake up
feeling worse after napping for 2 or 3 hours.
I’ve known about the benefits of power napping for a
long time ago. A while back, I decided to test it again to
see what worked and what didn’t work. I wanted to finish
my first book and I needed at least one more hour per
day of productive writing. I tried different nap times and
durations. In my case, the best time was at 7:00 or 7:30pm
or so for about 20 minutes max! Anything longer made
me feel drowsy for almost 45 minutes to an hour after the
nap and I had difficulty waking up, or worse: I decided to
turn my power nap into deep slumber for the whole night
– there goes the productivity I was looking to gain!
Less than 10 or 15 minutes at first for me was not
enough, since I could never be completely sure that
I had dozed off. Then I started realizing that if I had
dreamt about something, I could be pretty sure that I
had in fact slept.
Napoleon used to do it and so did many leaders

through history, including many athletes. But if naps are
supposed to make us more productive, why is that we
don’t find the time? Is it a question of proof? Okay, let’s
see how sleep works.
Stage 1 is the drowsy period just as you are falling
asleep. This is followed by Stage 2 (light sleep). These
first two stages take place in the first 20 minutes. Stage
3 is a moderately deep sleep. Stage 4 is the deepest level
of sleep. Stage 5 is the final stage of sleep, REM or Rapid
Eye Movement sleep, so called because in this stage of
sleep we have bursts of rapid eye movements. This is the
stage of sleep in which most of our dreaming occurs.
A power nap captures the benefits of the first two
stages in the sleep cycle, but there are a few other types
of naps that can be beneficial for performance. If you’re
recovering from fatigue, a 15–20-minute nap is ideal.
Some research suggests a nap as short as 5 minutes
could be beneficial!45 The farther along you are in your
sleep stages, the harder it is to get over that grogginess or
drowsiness you sometimes feel when you first wake up
(known in the sleep world as sleep inertia).
Power napping works because, in addition to making
you feel more rested and alert, the electrical signals in
your nervous system strengthen the connection between
the neurons involved in muscle memory, making your
brain work faster and more accurately – all this because
of a nap.
Another variation of the power nap dubbed the nap
puccino, can include a caffeine shot. Drink some caffeine
and immediate take a 15-minute power nap. The caffeine
prevents adenosine, a chemical responsible for making you

feel drowsy, from being received by the brain, making you
feel alert and taking away the drowsiness. However, caffeine
takes between 20 and 30 minutes to kick in, giving the body
just enough time to rest before the caffeine wakes you from
your power nap.46
Sleeping on the job is not exactly a great way to
promote your career. However, some companies47 are
beginning to encourage and recognize the benefits of
an afternoon nap by providing sleep pods. Many studies
have found that naps render employees more productive
than conventional coffee breaks and that power naps are
best taken in the afternoon. It’s also been proven that
adequate sleep and daytime power naps are critical to
faster, more efficient new learning.
Even if your employer can’t help, you could test a
power nap at home and enjoy the benefits in say, early
evening. First, set a time when you come home after
work, and no matter what personal or family demands
you may have, dedicate 20 minutes. Tell your spouse or
partner you only need 20 minutes. Set your alarm, shut
the door and after 20 minutes you will see a difference.
If, of course, you slept. In my experience, just lying in
bed for 20 minutes won’t do it.
If you didn’t feel or see the results the first-time round,
try taking a power nap 2 or 3 times again that week. At
first you may feel too guilty to actually take a nap. Don’t
get hung up on this since the time you lose by taking a
power nap will more than compensate at the other end
in terms of added productivity that evening. In my case
it gave me not one additional hour, but almost +2 hours

of writing time.
Now you won’t notice this immediately after the nap.
Give yourself 15 minutes to get over the slight stage 2
grogginess or inertia, then get back to work. About 30
minutes later or so, you’ll feel reenergized; you’ll wonder
where this newly found energy came from! You’ll get
more work done in your day and get that extra edge.
Give your brain anywhere between 10 and 25 minutes of
rest and close down your system. I call it my shutdown.
It’s the best investment I can suggest.
If you need a reminder to commit, remember what
happens in your brain when you do in fact give it a
power nap: Rest is repair.
Peter* is a good friend of mine and he isn’t just
smart…he’s brilliant. Think Russel Crowe in A Beautiful
Mind. Think of some of the peers you’ve studied with
in the past. No doubt at least one of them was blessed
with so much intelligence it was scary. Peter is one such
person. The average person has an IQ of 100, but Peter’s
is between 120 and 140. He’s scary smart, luckily minus
the delusions of Crowe’s character – John Nash.
After attending local university in his home town,
Peter went to study in the United Kingdom (UK) under
the tutelage of one of the best minds in engineering,
who’d advised the move to advance Peter’s career. Later,
Peter was admitted to an Ivy League school in the USA
on a scholarship and graduated summa cum laude.
After finishing his studies, Peter came back to Romania
and got a cool job at a prominent telecommunications
company. It’s a global role. He’s been there for a few years
now, climbing the corporate ladder.
It’s difficult to be humble when you’re blessed with this
kind of intelligence. One of the things Peter had to work
on was communicating with his peers with a bit more
finesse. He told me once that he had a hard time debating
with peers or bosses who couldn’t challenge him. This
kind of arrogance earned him the reputation of being
anti-social and the label of a snob. Peter slowly accepted
that he had to improve his emotional intelligence (EQ)
skills if he wanted to progress in his career, manage larger
teams, and build relationships with people.
Even after having discussed these key elements of
interpersonal skills with me, something was still getting
in the way. He was often moody and found it hard to
concentrate at work. I’m not a doctor, but I do know
that lack of sleep affects behavior and productivity. I get
moody (oh yes) when I don’t get enough sleep. I don’t
like this cranky behavior; it turns off people who are
accustomed to knowing me in a different way.
Peter simply wasn’t getting enough sleep. His
colleagues were in different time zones around the
world with as much as a 10-hour time difference. When
5pm local time for Peter came rolling around, the calls,
the emails, and the meetings would get busier for him.
Being diligent and career-minded, he thought it would
make sense to stay at the office till 8pm, or 9pm or even
11pm to get the job done and reply to his colleagues.
It was clear to me that his fatigue was affecting Peter’s
mood; it had reduced his productivity and taken a toll
on his ever so elusive social skills.
We discussed options:
1) Go home at 5pm and take 10-hour time zone calls
from home.
2) Same as above but incorporate a power nap; then
take calls from home.
3) Don’t change anything.
As it turns out, Peter was also feeling a bit guilty
about going home at 5pm when most of his colleagues
hung around till 8 or 9pm. This was a cultural thing in
his company. I was quick to remind him that as a leader,
his job was to perform and meet his key performance
indicators (KPIs). How he did that was not contingent
on staying at the office till 11pm.
We agreed it would be a good idea to proactively
mention to his staff that he was testing a new way of
taking calls and that they would also be encouraged to
try something different in their calendar to stay in touch
with their long-distance colleagues.
Peter tried different power nap times until he found
the ideal time and duration. His wife was happy to see
him home earlier and have dinner as a family. He was
also able to spend Dad time with his three boys. At one
point after dinner, the family knew that Peter had to take
calls in a separate room he had converted into an office.
The results? Improved efficiency and more time at
home. The power nap gave him more energy and he
could assume quality Dad duties in a much more relaxed
way. Sleep and routine changes were the key elements
for the new Peter.
When I asked Chris about power naps, he said he’s
a fan and has tried power naps, but they can’t exceed
20 minutes. He’ll try a power nap at home, but if he’s

exhausted, the power nap will only work 8 out of 10
times. If the power nap is taken too late, Chris finds it
difficult to sleep at night.
So, there you have it. Historical leaders, today’s
athletes, and a leading brain science authority all telling
you that power naps make you more productive, which
has positive effects on your brain, learning, and memory.
I rest my case.
Powerful questions
1. What have you noticed about your work

productivity when you’ve had enough sleep?
2. What do you need to change in your current
lifestyle to incorporate more sleep and rest?
3. In what other areas of your life do you see a
benefit of getting more rest?

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12
Fitness: How Many Times Have
You Been Reminded?
“Yoga really gets the crap out of your head.”
̶ Chris
People who exercise regularly agree that exercise is one

of the best ways to relieve stress. Like many professionals
raising a family, I too neglected my exercise time because
I was too busy. That was wrong. If you dedicate some
personal time for your fitness, even 30 minutes, 3 times
per week, you will be able to take on a lot more of life’s
stressful moments. I was always active in sports as a
teenager: I stopped in my 20s and then rediscovered the
virtues of fitness in my late 30s.
Right after a workout, jog, or cycle, I am reminded
of that amazing feeling that comes through my mind (it
actually lasts only for a few seconds) when I think to
myself, “nothing can bother me now.” My fitness session
has completely drained me.
When you work out, endorphins and the hormone
oxytocin are released into the blood, causing you
to experience a feeling of wellbeing, euphoria, and
optimism. Runners often talk about a runner’s high after
a run48 or a state of flow. Exercise can help you see life in

a more positive light.
Often, I suggest a baby-steps approach to my coaching
clients who are challenged or haven’t been consistent
with some form of fitness in the past. I suggest they
consider taking a brisk 10-minute walk during the day,
even just around the office or building. Walking helps
to get your blood circulating and gives you a mental
break. Combining a slow but gradual fitness regime
like walking and adding stretching can help to relieve
stiff muscles, which can hold tension and make you feel
more stressed. I suggest stretching in the morning when
you wake up (ever notice how dogs always stretch after
they wake up…? maybe they know something we don’t).
After sitting for more than an hour at the computer, get
up, stretch, go for a little walk before you come back to
your desk.
Exercise should be fun to do. By testing and
discovering different kinds of fitness regimes, you’ll
eventually connect with something you enjoy doing.
This is a great motivator and reduces the chances of
backing out.
My expertise and passion for fitness has paid off
for some of my clients. Nikos,* the Chief Commercial
Officer of a fast-moving consumer goods (FMCG)
company, gave me an emphatic “No” when I asked in
our first meeting if he was involved in some form of
fitness. This is part of my routine as I build a profile on
a client. Fitness is one of those areas I call an outlet, a
great way to forget about work. I replied: “No, as in, not
lately?” and he countered with “No, as in never!”
Fitness: How Many Times Have You Been Reminded? 113
I came back again: “You’ve never done any form of

fitness?” “Nope, except the compulsory ‘Phys Ed’ in high
school.” Given that I deal mostly with businesspeople,
I’d rarely heard of anyone not involved in at least some
form of physical activity, even if they had stopped lately
or a long time ago. There was always a trace of walking
or jogging or swimming…something. “Oh well,” I said,
and proceeded to highlight the obvious benefits of
exercising such as freeing the mind, forgetting about
work and finding one’s sanctuary, not to mention getting
fitter and keeping the doctor at bay! Then I dropped the
subject completely, moved on – I had done what I could.
But something had clicked. Nikos’s latest Facebook
post was of him riding an electric bicycle. As I saw his
post I chuckled briefly while thinking to myself, “Well,
at least it’s a start.” Fast forward 6 months. I bumped into
Nikos at his office. He had lost about 5 kg. He was never
overweight just, well, not in shape. “Hey,” I said, “Did
you melt?” while hiding a sarcastic grin.
“Nope” said Nikos. “I’ve been going to the gym.” My
jaw dropped. I asked him how often he went. He replied:
“2 times a week, and next week I’m planning to start 3
times per week.” Nikos looked great and I told him so, in
addition to telling him how happy I was with his new-
found habit!
Clearly the endorphin rush or the other
neurochemicals that Nikos felt right after a workout was
enough for him to take fitness to the next level. Maybe
that was the reason for Nikos to simply drop a bad habit
(in this case not exercising) and recognize that magic
moment right after a workout. In any case, something
was triggered, and I was happy to see that maybe, just

maybe, our discussions on the topic of fitness had
something to do with it. I’ll have to ask him the next
time I see him.
Chris’s view on fitness
According to Chris, exercise has to be completely and

personally aligned with your interests, otherwise you
just won’t do it. Chris went to the gym for 10 years, but
he can’t anymore. He plays hockey twice per week, either
early or late evening depending on the day of the week.
This requires discipline, because playing hockey isn’t
over in 30 minutes. By the time he gets to the hockey
arena, gets dressed, plays and comes back home, three
hours have gone by.
He also does hot yoga twice a week. Yoga provides
great breath control, meditation, and bodily posture. The
yoga studio is 5 minutes from his house. “Yoga really gets
the crap out of your head,”49 says Chris. He considers yoga
an outlet dedicated to himself. He once tried a hot yoga
“Power flow class” where the average room temperature
was between 36 and 38 degrees Celsius with 60%–70%
humidity. The yoga room uses infrared heaters.
The classes last 75 minutes, but the first time he
went, Chris could only do the exercises for 5 minutes
before almost collapsing on the floor. He then did the
child’s pose (a yoga position) for the remainder of
the 75-minute session, thinking in a relaxed state. He
gradually extended the exercises to 15 minutes, then 20
Fitness: How Many Times Have You Been Reminded? 115
minutes, to finally 75 minutes. This, he says, is when “I

turn off for 75 minutes to focus on the brain.”
Does yoga provide a good, decent aerobic session?
Chris clocked between 190 and 200 heartbeats per
minute (heart rate) at the height of his swimming career.
At the end of the yoga class, he gets 180 beats per minute.
He’s a massive advocate of yoga, because through breath
control it changes the chemical patterns in your brain.
Yoga can change stress levels within minutes.
Powerful questions
1. When starting a fitness regime why is it

important to adopt a baby-steps approach that
is, starting slow and building up?
2. What is another way for you to develop your
confidence in and commitment to a fitness
regime?
3. What sports or physical activity have you
promised yourself and tried lately? If you can’t
think of any, why not?

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13
Fame and the “Big 4”:
What’s Your Vice?
“If there is such a thing as good leadership,
it is to give a good example.”
̶ Ingvar Kamprad
Many sports fans associate success in sports with

fame, money, and the good things in life. I asked
Chris if he ever felt famous because of the Olympic
Games he competed in. He said no. In the swimming
world, he was known, he was famous. Outside the
swimming world, nobody knew him. Fame was never
a motivator to keep him going. “If I had won a gold
medal, then I would have been recognized as a gold
medal swimmer in Calgary. So, what’s the big deal?”
The number one motivator for Chris was a
huge distaste for losing. He was competitive, ultra-
competitive; he enjoyed winning. I asked him if
becoming an ultra-competitive athlete and being a
decent, humble human being were mutually exclusive?
He laughed and said, “Of course not.” Most athletes
who have had success are down-to-earth people. In a
matter of seconds Chris debunked the myth that a
lot of athletes are self-centered, vain prima donnas
with an attitude. He also reminded me that back in

the late 90s, before Michael Phelps set the world on
fire by winning 23 Olympic gold medals, swimming
was not the main target for large sporting brands like
Nike or Adidas. Getting endorsements in swimming
pre-Michael Phelps was almost impossible back then.
In his book What Got You Here, Won’t Get You
There, Marshall Goldsmith, a bestselling author and
leadership coach, talks about the four motives behind
self-interest for leaders: Money, power, status, and
popularity. I asked Chris how he felt about the Big 4:
1. Money: Money wasn’t a motivator for Chris to

follow his dream of becoming an Olympic athlete. When
he was training, he had to study and work. Because he
managed to get to a certain level on the world swimming
front, the Canadian government provided “carding” or a
small sum of money to encourage athletes. The amount
paid was $450/monthly, which even in the late 90s would
barely pay rent.
Money is not always a motivator even for highly

successful people. In his biography of Steve Jobs, Walter
Isaacson writes that despite Apple’s success, Jobs never
really cared about money. His views were that he grew up
middle class, West Coast and his parents made enough
money to make ends meet and that was fine for him.
Living as a hippie for many years validated this point.
True, in the latter part of his life he did have a mansion
and a summer home, but Jobs did not equate these with
success. It would take him months to decide on a sofa
for his living room because he just couldn’t understand

the usefulness of a sofa!50
It’s hard to believe, but when it came to money
matters, I think that Jobs had a similar lifestyle to Ingvar
Kamprad, the founder of IKEA. Despite IKEA’s huge
success, Kamprad drove a 10-year-old Volvo to work, he
always wrote on the back side of pages to save on paper,
and he had lunch in the IKEA canteen for two good
reasons: 1) It gave him a chance to mingle with staff and
2) the food was inexpensive. In fact, Kamprad’s motto
was: “If there is such a thing as good leadership, it is to
give a good example.”51 In other words, leaders can’t give
a good example if they’re showing off how wealthy they
are. So, as we can see for Ingvar Kamprad, despite his
wealth, money was secondary to his personal life.
2. Power: If we’re talking power in terms of influence,

as an athlete Chris didn’t command a certain degree of
power over friends or colleagues.
3. Status: Chris agreed that status had intrinsic

motivation for him. If he competed on the international
level, he hoped a potential employer would recognize
him and support him. As a former Olympian he had
status.
The paradox for him today is that a lot of people

don’t even know that Chris has competed twice in
the Olympics. He recalls speaking to someone 12
times before mentioning that he had competed in the
Olympics, despite wearing the symbolic Olympic ring.
But he couldn’t remember if this status had helped him

land the large multinational job.
4. Popularity: Did he become more popular? Chris

said that if popularity aligns with status, then “being
an Olympic swimmer is not the ‘be all and end all’ of
things. Sure, it was nice to have buddies cheering for me.
In the outside world however, no one knew about me.”
In short, according to Chris, Goldsmith’s Big 4

motives behind self-interest for leaders depend on the
person. Chris considers himself very different than most
leaders.
Powerful questions
1. Goldsmith’s Big 4 motives behind self-interest

for leaders are linked to vanity. If you agree with
this, how do you remain balanced with your
interpersonal communications with peers and
friends?
2. How do you intend to develop your integrity,
confidence, and self-esteem without adopting
these Big 4 motives?
3. What are the repercussions of adopting any
of these Big 4 motives in either your work or
personal life?

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14
Giving up: Giving Up or Letting Go
“The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.
The second is to look things in the face and know
them for what they are.”
̶ Marcus Aurelius
Setbacks are common in our careers. Most of the time

we can endure them, but in some cases, because of
timing, the environment, our boss’s expectations, the
general mood of our employer, the industry, inequality
between what our employer expects and what we can
deliver, many of us start looking for a new job. It might
make sense to give up and look for something new.
Stan* was feeling this way. After seven years with the
same company he’d already been demoted once. His new
boss was giving him signals that he would no longer fit
in the team. After all, why keep someone who has been
demoted, right? Stan made his own decision. He decided
to work with a coach. He wanted help, but he wasn’t too
sure where to start, how to read the new boss, and quite
frankly, he was waiting for something good to happen.
Sound familiar?
As Stan gave me additional background about the
sales team he was leading, the services he was selling,
and the internal competition he was dealing with, my

instincts immediately kicked in. His employer was getting
ready to dismiss him. The writing was on the wall. To this
day I’m not sure if my hunch was correct, but I was sure
that Stan needed to get into action mode real fast. How
did he address this potential setback? He prepared his
resume. Now, you’re probably thinking he did so because
he had to look for another job. Well, not exactly.
A few years prior to meeting Stan I received a nasty
(!) email from a dear friend of mine, Richard Eaton.
Richard was a long-time executive recruiter. He also
worked for DBM, an outplacement firm that helped
executives find new jobs or careers after their job was
terminated, or they’d been made redundant, or they’d
been removed because of cuts and reorgs.
The subject line of Richard’s email read: “Buddy! Your
resume looks terrible and it needs a facelift!” Richard went
on to tell me that there was no way any potential employer
would ever hire me. After getting beyond the ribbing of
a good friend, we agreed that improving my resume was
a good idea. Richard explained that the most common
mistake that people make is that their resume looks like
a job description, for example, “I did this in this job, and
I did that in that job.”
Indeed, my resume was full of boring minutia and
lacked achievements or milestones. Lucky for me, Richard
was a seasoned Human Resources professional and I was
getting top notch advice. Richard suggested putting 1-2
significant “wow moment” achievements for each job
and removing all the “I was responsible for this or that.”
A trained HR professional would know by the title what
the job was all about. Achievements had to read as follows:

“Increased sales by 20% in a tough year” or “Cut costs by
15% while maintaining the same client base” or “Launched
two new products that generated an incremental 7% of
revenues after the first year of launch.” The achievements
or milestones had to be significant, real, and memorable so
that I could discuss them comfortably during interviews.
That was the facelift my resume needed. By the time
we were finished, it was impressive. Richard was right.
My resume no longer sucked. I’ve been offering it as an
example to friends and clients who are looking for a job.2
Now back to Stan. We decided to give his resume a
facelift. It took us four 2-hour sessions to do so. You’re
perhaps now wondering why am I so inefficient in
building resumes? It took four sessions because we
needed to find Stan’s achievements and milestones.
When I probed him on these, he drew a blank. He could
not think of or remember any. His resume had not been
updated for 7 years and when he showed it to me, I was
haunted by Richard’s nasty email.
Stan had given up. He had simply given up trying,
hence the situation he was facing with his employer.
The demotion made sense. So, we went digging for any
small achievement we could put as a metric or statistic
to highlight a milestone. I emphasized to Stan that this
resume-building exercise was not only necessary, but
imperative. Lucky for me, he bought into the idea.
2
If you would like to take advantage of my offer, email me at
Paul@Paul-renaud.com and put “My CV needs a facelift“ in the
subject line. I’ll send you my resume as a reference.
The result? After four sessions his resume was…

impeccable, but this isn’t the point of the story. By
digging and finding strong positive accomplishments,
Stan started to change. By simply digging deeper and
remembering moments where he’d been successful
and by emphasizing these moments on his resume, he
regained his confidence and his self-esteem improved.
That was the reason we spent four sessions on re-writing
his resume.
Stan found a new zest and enthusiasm for his job and
employer. Since he had done background work for a
large governmental agency and because of this renewed
vigor, he managed to close the biggest deal in the history
of the company. As you can imagine, the new boss’s
perception changed dramatically. Fast forward to today
and Stan has been promoted, he loves his job, and he’s
been given a new market to develop. Because of Stan’s
diligence and trust in the coaching process he was able
to make a quick turnaround.
But what about Chris? How does a dedicated athlete
view the notion of giving up?
Chris’s view
Right after the Atlanta Olympics in August 1996, Chris

took four months off to rest. In February 1997, he broke a
world record in the short course (25-meter pool).
In June 1997, despite this world record and right after
a long-course national championship, Chris gave up. He
got a poor swim time and decided to retire. He was still
carrying the negative experience of not winning at his
first Olympics. At the time, he still lacked experience of

such high-level competition and was disappointed that
he hadn’t finished in the time he had expected.
On retiring in the summer of 1997, Chris decided to
go back to university full time. Looking back now, he
says he should have taken a longer break rather than
retiring completely: “You can’t evaluate something on
your own, when you’re stuck right in the middle of it.”
Chris didn’t lose his burning desire to compete (despite
the fact that he hated training). After four months, he
missed competing so much he went back to swimming.
He was really motivated for the Commonwealth Games.
Chris qualified for the Commonwealth Games in early
1998 and at 22, he won a Bronze medal. “It was great and
exciting,” he says. Then in early spring 2000, at the age of
24, he qualified for the 2000 Sydney Olympics. So, despite
these two significant milestones, Chris said that his racing
times didn’t improve after he qualified for Sydney. I was
curious as to why.
“At 21–23 years old, I wasn’t focused. My eating habits
were not the best. I wasn’t getting 8 hours of sleep.” He
didn’t know what he didn’t know, yet his talent and
desire to compete kept driving him.
What were the differences between the Atlanta and
the Sydney games? The 1996 games in Atlanta were a
learning experience. Chris recognized how difficult
it was to swim well at that level. He felt forced to race
“super hard.” It wasn’t fluid, as he recalls. The Olympics
were the hardest races of his career. The Olympics “were
more muscle than technique.”
In Sydney 2000, Chris managed to qualify in the

morning heats (100m and 200m), and he made it to the
semi-finals, the fastest 16 swimmers in the world. The top 8
times made the final. Sadly, Chris’s time wasn’t fast enough.
As it turns out, Lenny Krayzelburg from the USA won both
100m and 200m gold at Sydney in backstroke.
Chris also swam with the Canadian relay team. They
made it to the finals and took 6th place. After Sydney, he
took another four months off. He was 24 years old.
At one point, Chris was encouraged by his team
mates to come back. So, he went back for a practice. He
got into the water, swam some, and then told his coach:
“Nope, I can’t do this anymore.” So, in late 2000 he went
into his second retirement. Did he have any regrets?
“When I retired too soon the first time instead of taking
a longer break…yes, I regretted that decision but the
second time…no, no regrets. I just knew it was time.”
Letting go – and not necessarily giving up – when it’s
time can be a positive move. It’s a perfect opportunity
to reconsider and to take time to reflect on you, your
skills, your interests, and your plan(s). It frees up your
mind and enables you to focus on who you are and what
you’re good at. One door closes as another door opens.
Richard Nelson Bolles wrote a book I recommend
to my clients. What Color is Your Parachute? This book
helps in a variety of ways:
1. It identifies your real skills. There is an exercise

to this end that takes about four hours. This is pure
gold. Don’t assume that you know your skills. In fact,
you may not even know what a skill really is.
2. It enables you to re-discover yourself. Perhaps

you are in the wrong job or industry, working
with toxic people, not really able to explore your
potential or maybe you are there just for the money.
3. It offers practical advice when you’re looking for
a job, and it’s also a good read to develop yourself
and to progress in your career.
4. It helps you make a choice. If you were not happy
with your last job, it identifies the reasons and helps
you avoid doing something similar.
5. It shows you how to develop a network. I looked
at how I found my last 10 jobs as an executive: Seven
were through people I knew; two were through
head-hunters, and one was through cold calling.
This was a revelation for me. Network or not work:
The choice is yours.
Reading this book was one of the best investments

I’ve ever made in myself. I discovered my latent
skills at 37 years old through this exercise. Sure, my
gut feeling told me what I was good at, but by being
aware of my skills I could better target my next jobs.
I’m convinced that if you spend the time to really dig
deeply to identify your skills, you will realize that this
was a good time to invest in YOU.
Although your job is important (perhaps too
important), as ever in life, what really matters is your
support group, the people who are cheering for you:
Your spouse, your kids, your family, your friends. They
are your fans. You can get a job anytime but keeping
real fans like these is far more precious.
Chris put this in perspective as he embarked on the

new chapter of his life and as we’ve seen, he knew by the
end of the second Olympics it was time to retire.
Powerful questions
1. It’s common for athletes and leaders to give up

at some point. Before you do however, how do
you know if you’ve done all you could in this
situation?
2. Before giving up, ask yourself what else could
this be about?
3. If you do give up and move on, how can you
look back on this time as a steppingstone and
a learning experience to prepare for something
greater ahead?

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15
Your Support Group:
Do You need a Coach, a Mentor,
or a Big Brother/Sister?
“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it
is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”
̶ Sidney J. Harris
Some definitions
At times, mentoring can be the right solution. At

other times you need a coach, or maybe you just need
to have a conversation with your big brother or sister.
What’s the difference?
Mentors impart knowledge and experience. The
focus is on career and personal development. Mentoring
is about giving advice, providing training, transferring
knowledge, and providing you with contacts. The
mentor gives advice and “tells.”
Business coaching is about drawing out personal
experiences and answers from the coachee. The focus is
on specific development areas. Coaching is a discussion
about goals, strengths, potential, insights, and action.
The coach doesn’t give advice, nor do they tell the
coachee what to do – it’s up to the coachee to find the

answers. Coaching discovers your blind spots, those
annoying habits that you don’t notice that are limiting
your career. Coaching is not consulting or mentoring.
You can’t estimate or understand the power of a coach
until you’ve tried and felt what coaching is all about.
I wish I’d had a coach earlier in my career. At times
I felt alone and needed a sparring partner that I could
trust. This fulfilling outcome is hard to describe in words.
I suggest finding a coach with whom you’ve got good
chemistry. Learn from what they know. Follow where
they guide you. Your inner strength will awaken, and
you’ll feel like a demigod. This may sound farfetched.
But is there anything more satisfying than setting a goal,
reaching it, and then looking back on it? The task may
have seemed Herculean at the time, but you prevailed!
Now, a big brother or big sister can really be your
older brother or sister. In my case, I call my big (older
and more experienced) brother for advice or direction
or just to bounce an idea off him. He’s not personally
involved in my issues so it’s easy for him to give me an
objective assessment of the situation.
Sometimes he empathizes with me by saying anything
from “that sucks” all the way to “that really is an unfair
situation for you.” Other times he’s very direct and slaps
me around by saying, “What you are doing makes no
sense,” or “Paul, you’re missing the obvious here and
let me tell you why.” I don’t enjoy being told that I am
completely missing the point, but I benefit from these
conversations in the following ways:
Your Support Group: Do You need a Coach,
a Mentor, or a Big Brother/Sister? 135
1. I discuss something that has been bothering me to

a point where I can’t make a decision.
2. I get an opinion from someone who does not have
any skin in the game. It doesn’t matter to my big
brother what decision I make since it does not affect
him.
3. I feel better after our discussion.
4. I relax and calm down.
5. I am more confident in pursuing the path I’ve selected.
Mentoring, coaching, or talking to a big brother/sister

all have therapeutic effects. The mere fact of opening
up and discussing your issue will make you feel better.
Some of us try to resolve issues with our spouses or
partners but sometimes, they might already be dealing
with the same issues, so re-hashing them is not always
productive. My big brother has helped me with many
problems in the past – big and small, but I diligently
remember to respect one fundamental rule before I call
him: I need to have an open mind.
If you’re seeking advice or counsel and you have
an open mind, you are willing to think differently and
perhaps move outside your comfort zone or what you
felt was the right approach. This is easy to say but not so
easy to do. But an open mind is important when seeking
advice from your big brother/sister.
You don’t have a big brother or sister? Then it’s time
to find one! They could be a longtime friend or a close
relative. You need to establish some confidentiality
rules at the outset and ideally, they should have more
experience than you.
Give it a try. You’ve got nothing to lose aside from the

issues and problems that have been bogging you down.
What more incentive do you need?
Demigod, Supercoach
About 14 years ago, I was assigned to a seat at a dinner

event. Next to me was a fellow called Octavian. I didn’t
know him. I hadn’t heard of him. The conversation we
had made me realize, once again, the importance of
people power, the tremendous effect people can have on
your life. After speaking to an expert in a field you may
walk away motivated, informed, charged up, inspired,
and even blessed that life gave you a chance to meet a
wonderful human being. Octavian was such a person.
I tried to converse in my limited Romanian, but
then, when I mentioned my mother tongue was
French, that was it. We spoke for three hours in French.
Octavian Bellu was the coach of the Romanian women’s
gymnastics team. “Cool!” I said, as I proceeded to tell
him about my personal passion for the Olympics. The
timing was perfect for me. I was Marketing Director for
a telecommunications company which happened to be a
large sponsor of the COSR (Comitetul Olimpic și Sportiv
Român), the Romanian Olympic and Sport Committee,
responsible for supporting athletes in Olympic sports.
We had a sizeable sponsorship deal with the COSR. I
was able to promote athletes and the Olympic team in
our marketing materials and TV commercials, especially
during the period leading up to the Olympic Games.
Both Octavian and I had been invited to the COSR
dinner event, and since we were the only ones sitting at

that table, luck was on my side. I must have asked him
a thousand questions about the Olympics, the athletes,
the games, the opening ceremonies, the tribulations,
and the losses. Octavian spoke about the athletes he
had coached and the number of medals the team had
accumulated. The conversation was very matter-of fact
for him, no big deal about “this gold medal” or “that gold
medal,” and certainly no hint or indication of bragging
about the number of medals he had earned through the
hard work of the athletes. Then it hit me: He was not a
run-of-the-mill coach; he was a supercoach.
The conversation moved to Beijing 2008. Octavian
mentioned that the Chinese government had expressed
an interest in hiring him as coach for their women’s
gymnastics team. But Octavian was Romania’s national
treasure when it came to Olympic sport. His accolades
are many. He holds the world record as the world’s most
successful coach according to the World Record Academy
as of 2007.52 Of a total of 305 medals, including the World
and European Championships as well as the Olympic
Games, 16 are Olympic golds. He led the Romanian
gymnastics team to five world and two Olympic titles,
as well as coaching numerous individual gold medalists.
His dedication and commitment to excellence have
been the key to success for Romanian gymnastics. As
well, Octavian Bellu and Mariana Bitang, another coach
helped Romania win five consecutive team gold medals
at the World Championships from 1994 to 2001 and team
gold medals at the 2000 and 2004 Summer Olympics;
their teams have combined to win a total of 305 medals
at the European and World Championships and Olympic

Games, thus setting the new world record for being the
World’s Most Successful Coaches (Duo), according to the
World Record Academy.53 Octavian became the national
team coach at a pivotal time when many girls in Romania
aspired to become the next Nadia Comăneci.
That evening, I met a decent, humble, devoted man
who had found his calling in promoting, supporting,
and caring for his athletes. I could see the pride in his
eyes as he described special moments with his team. It
was truly a magical moment to witness such greatness
alongside so much humility.
Years passed since our COSR dinner. I was hoping
to interview him for my book. Would he remember
me? Would he have the time to reply to my email? If so,
would he have time to answer a few questions?
Things hadn’t changed for Octavian. He acknowledged
my email, replied that he would gladly answer my
questions, and within two days he came back with answers
to all of them.54 I was a like a kid in a candy store – the
same candy store I had found 14 years earlier.
One of my questions related to goal setting, which
I have understood over a 30-year career as being
fundamental for business leaders. Given Octavian’s gold
medal-winning success, I wondered if goal setting was
important in winning an Olympic gold, and if so, which
goal-setting method had he used to enable athletes to
win Olympic medals?
Octavian’s view was that when defining performance
objectives, you must consider factors such as having a
clear vision of the technical and competitive development
of the task in question, the steps that you can define

according to the time available, the real possibilities of the
athlete, their health status, the resources and finances you
have available for the athlete, and the potential for recovery
after training. Also important are the athlete’s degree
of motivation, the athlete’s threshold of resistance for a
special training regime and the athlete’s relationship with
their family. Finally, you have to factor in other aspects
such as the athlete’s social environment; their emotional
balance; their previous sporting history, education, and
any other factor that defines their personality.
Setting goals consists of establishing realistic and
rigorous steps with deadlines in order to attain results.
The coach sustains the development of all essential
factors relating to physical, technical, and psychological
training, and the careful balance of effort deployed
against time required to recover represents important
pillars of preparation which will lead to a medal. It’s
essential that the coach anticipates the progress of
the preparation with regard to opponents, the public,
proper gear and equipment, refereeing, etc., and adapts
it according to these extremely important factors.
In today’s terms there’s a lot of talk about “mental
coaching” and “mental training.” Octavian said:
“We always used mental coaching, but we had

another name for it. We called it ‘modelare’, which in
Romanian means to sculpt into shape or to adapt to
some specific conditions of a contest. We were actually
obsessed by it and we found that repetition of an
exercise was fundamental to winning gold.”
I was curious about the role of the coach and if there

was a correlation between having an outstanding coach
and winning gold medals?
Octavian told me that the coach must be a perfect
psychologist. It is essential to have the talent to temper
the exaggerated enthusiasm after a victory and to find
the means to rejuvenate the athlete after a failure.
Knowing the athlete and finding the best means of
communication with them ensures an emotional balance
without which performance is not possible. The athlete
must understand what factors have contributed to either
scenario. Here, the role of the coach is crucial. “When
you have small objectives, you have small performances.
But if you set yourself some big objectives, you might
obtain them and have bigger satisfaction,” according
to Octavian. “Also, if you really want the gold medal
you need help, and the coach’s role is paramount. In
many cases the coach will help the athlete set up a self-
evaluation of him or herself. The coach helps the athlete
to evaluate his or her own progress.”
Octavian continued by explaining that the main
role of a coach is to be backstage, somewhere behind
the scenes, away from the limelight or the podium. Not
too many people will remember the name of a medal-
winning athlete’s coach, yet their role is essential and
indispensable.
What about importance of proper diet and sleep. I
wondered if Octavian monitored his athletes’ diet and
sleep patterns?
Octavian’s influence worked in areas much wider than
just diet and rest. All aspects related to recovery after
intense effort, ongoing intense effort, nutrition, discipline,

and thoroughness in an athlete’s personal life are linked
to the responsibilities of those specialized in their fields.
It’s the athlete’s responsibility to follow the basic rules
established jointly with the coach and the team.
To maintain the optimal health required for training
and competition, the coach must supervise within the
limits of their own skills, and ensure the athlete complies
with the established rules and programs for each stage
of preparation. This is not easy because issues arise
when the athlete wins important medals. There’s an
increased public awareness of the athlete and increased
interactions with sponsors and the athlete’s family. The
coach must find solutions for each stage of the athlete’s
life. The coach must be their mentor, their confidant,
their advisor, and even their friend. Once the athlete
matures and understands the benefits of this type of
relationship, they must also respect the limits imposed
by the one who’s trained them.
I discovered here a much more direct involvement
between the coach and the athlete if we compare Chris’s
experience with his coaches. Is this one of the main
differences between medalists and non-medalists?
Interested in the role of persistence in terms of
winning gold, I asked Octavian if he had heard of the
Japanese proverb Fall down 7 times, get up 8? What does
a coach do when the athlete starts losing self-confidence?
Lack of confidence, he said, can occur at any time.
During training, after numerous repetitions and
methodical exercises, the athlete may not be at the level
established in the plan. After a poor result in competition,
the lack of self-confidence, or a lack of confidence in the

coach or in the training methods can occur. The worst
part is when the coach begins to lose confidence in their
work methods and the athlete’s ability to reach their goal.
These moments require a lot of calm reassessment of
the methods used. The most important thing is that the
coach and the athlete remain aware of the dysfunctions
and that everyone takes responsibility for their mistakes.
The coach’s perseverance and their ability to not
give up on the goal, but to quickly find solutions to
the training model and attract the athlete to this new
challenge are linked to their previous experience, their
commitment to coaching and the awards earned.
To alleviate any lack of confidence and sustain
persistence, Octavian would remind his athletes that
you can’t become someone remarkable by skipping
some steps in your career or faking your training. You
need to respect your training steps in their exact order.
Does giving up or losing self-confidence lead to fear,
I wondered? If so, how does a supercoach deal with fear?
Octavian explained:
“I have experienced many situations where I had

to intervene with tact and diplomacy; with patience
and strong, credible arguments, using examples from
the careers of successful athletes, role models, courage
and determination to dispel the fear, to stimulate
and develop the spirit of victory for my athletes. I
explained to them that their opponents are always
human beings, with the same anatomical structure,
with the same nervous system, and with their limits
and their fears. They are not robots. This can make a
difference, as well as attitude, poise, emotional control,
and the spirit that I mentioned earlier. I explained to
them that all these qualities can also develop in them.
Personally, I have never suffered from an inferiority
complex seemingly justified by the superior condition
of preparation of others. I managed to educate the
athlete in this spirit. The greatest opponent of a top
athlete is himself/herself! It is also important to trust
the coach and the training method. Winning a world
championship with the team is a huge success, but
success can also be attributed to the circumstances, the
situation of the opponent, luck, etc. Clearly winning
five consecutive titles with different teams, indicates to
me that the method is good and that the system works
almost perfectly. This aspect gives a lot of confidence
to the coach and the athletes!”
Research shows us that we develop increased

commitment to our choices after we make a decision.
Given Octavian’s track record in training and results, I
asked him what role commitment plays in winning gold.
A moral contract must exist from the start. The young
athlete’s parents and the athlete must be informed in detail
of the rigor that comes with performance sports, the level
of effort required, the lifestyle and the preparation. The
parents must understand their role in this project, the
possible outcomes in performances, and the subsequent
benefits, either, financial, or other. In addition, the
responsibilities of the coach and their status must be
clear. The family must accept all the basic requirements
and provide all the support necessary for the athlete to

integrate into the system as easily as possible.
With performance objectives in mind, such as
participation in major competitions, and increased self-
awareness, especially after they’ve reached the age of
majority, the athlete should have a legal contract where
their rights, and those of the trainer, manager, sponsor, and
other members of staff (doctor, masseur, physiotherapist
psychologist, physical trainer, etc.) are clarified following
discussions with decision-makers and sponsors. Such
a document ensures rigor and continuity of training,
motivates both the athlete and the coaches, and establishes
a relationship with sponsors, family, media, etc.
Unfortunately, many times an incomplete, confusing,
and uninterpretable contract has put a medal in jeopardy.
It takes energy and time to resolve disputes that could
have been avoided. Being on the Olympic podium is an
opportunity that an athlete may never have again, which
is why all these agreements must be set up at the outset
with the help of professionals such as lawyers, health
professionals and trainers.
According to Octavian, to be a top performer, you
need ability, talent, and desire. Some give up along the
way, but some can reach the summit if they remain
committed. Since learning that Octavian had coached
many athletes who had won a gold medal, I’d wanted to
ask him what other important attributes or ingredients
are required for the athlete to win gold?
“Realism, sincerity, creativity, imagination, courage,

credibility, spontaneity, in-depth knowledge, open
communication, a strong spirit, a lack of complexes of

any kind, an accessible philosophy adapted to realities,
intuition, pedagogical tact, perfectionism, personal
development, versatility, and mental endurance.”
That’s a long list and that’s just the athlete. The

coach must be a model of professionalism, punctuality,
discipline, attitude, fairness, rigor, and intransigence.
Only then can they ask all of this from the athlete they are
preparing. If these ingredients are incorporated daily to
address technical improvements and increased physical
support, the long-awaited medal can become a reality.
Another important factor, he said, is doing what you’re
good at. I couldn’t agree more! I challenge clients who are
considering a career change by asking two simple, yet
fundamental questions: “What do you like to do?” And
“What are you good at?” By combining both you become
deadly; you can face any competition, you become true
experts in your field, and you are far superior than others
who cannot combine “good at” and “like.”
And all this without compromise.
“I [Octavian] followed a set of rules with which I

tried to inoculate the ones I was preparing, because
they were what had helped me in my life and my career.
I think that in life we cannot do many things very
well and we cannot pretend that we know everything.
Very few of us can boast of complex abilities like the
geniuses of another era (Leonardo da Vinci), but
nothing prevents us from trying. Let us focus on an
area where, with a little vocation and a lot of work, we

can excel.”
Here, Octavian and Chris would agree. Chris always

ran through the race in his mind by visualizing. He
would tell himself: “There’s only so much I can control.”
Octavian Bellu at the 2004 Olympics, Athens / Reprinted with

permission from Cristian Preda (Gazeta Sporturilor).
Putting the coach in context
According to Chris, a coach is fundamental in sports.

The coach knows how to push you and when to push
you, but they also know when to let the athlete be creative
in training in order to enhance their performance. For

example, Chris’s warmups before and after a race were
his method, not his coach’s. Clearly, he was responsible
for owning and designing his warmup routine. But at
the same time if the coach leaves too much room for
the athlete’s creativity what are the risks? Here, we notice
two different mindsets: Octavian Bellu’s direct, in-your-
face involvement with the athlete vs. Chris who prefers
more of a laissez-faire approach with respect to his
warmup routines.
Therefore, does a coach’s involvement pave the way to
a higher likelihood of winning medals? I really needed
to get clarity or some form of reassurance, sort of a third
opinion. This opinion came from Chris’s father, Ray,
specifically with respect to the coach’s influence. For any
Olympian, it’s paramount to have the parents involved
on the journey to the podium. Getting the input of a
parent who was fully onboard was not only relevant, but
I thought he would also answer my burning question
about the likelihood of winning medals.
When he read a draft of this book, Ray insisted that
Chris was too much of a diplomat to tell me the real story
behind his first retirement. Chris’s original coach at the
University of Calgary Swim Club was Deryk Snelling.
He was considered one of the best swim coaches ever,
especially in Canada.55 When Deryk started working
with Chris, he recognized some of his deficiencies.
Chris was not easy to coach for all the reasons he’d
shared with me. Deryk knew what buttons to push and
how hard to push to get the most out of him. He often
confided in Ray and Kathy (Chris’s mom) telling them
that Chris was like an unbroken stallion and that he was

committed to putting a saddle on him because he knew
what potential he had.
Deryk, with a lot of persistence, finally managed to
put on that saddle. Chris began to trust him and really
started to commit with all his heart. They formed a
bond. Chris began to train harder and harder. Deryk
took Chris to the Atlanta 1996 Olympics, and shortly
thereafter Chris became the first Canadian to break
the 2-minute barrier in the 200-meter backstroke in
the National Championships. He’d go on to clock and
hold a world record in the 50 meters backstroke for 23
months (from 28 February 1997 to 11 December 1998).
His training and tapering for peak performance were a
bit off; had he swum those times at the 1996 Olympics
he likely would have finished in fifth place.
Chris was totally committed to giving it all he
had under Deryk’s coaching to win in Sydney 2000.
Unfortunately, that year Deryk accepted an offer to
return to England to continue coaching there. Canada
would lose one of the top swimming coaches in the
world. Chris was devastated. Gone was his mentor.
Gone was the spiritual trust and bond that were essential
to forging Chris’s commitment. Gone was that special
relationship that Chris needed to drive him to achieve
his ultimate goal.
Chris was then introduced to the new head coach.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t re-ignite that same deep
connection and commitment he was prepared to make
with Deryk. Emotionally withdrawn, he decided to retire.
Despite his retirement, fellow athletes and colleagues
encouraged Chris to come back and give it one more

shot for the 2000 Olympics. “The chemistry between the
new coach and Chris was just not the same as it was with
Deryk in order to bring out the best in him.”
For Ray, it was difficult to understand what was
happening.
“It’s interesting sometimes how fate can hand

someone a card that changes everything. If all things
happen for a reason then we accept that, but we have
often reflected on why. Like Father Sauvé told you Paul
when you were 10 years old, ‘This is the mystery of
God’s fate.’ We, as parents, were left bewildered as well.”
Ray’s input was exactly what I needed to answer my

question about the degree of a coach’s involvement and
the higher likelihood of winning medals. This input hit
the mark for me. A demigod coach who is pervasive
in all aspects of an athlete’s life, and the opinion of a
parent who was able to observe the difference between
two coaches and the merits of an exceptional coach.
You can’t change history but had Chris continued with
Deryk Snelling, he may well have won a bronze, silver, or
even a gold medal in Sydney.
To add more insight to the element of changing
coaches, Chris was offered the chance to swim for
another country, namely Australia. At face value, Chris
could probably receive better training with an Australian
coach and possibly rekindle the kind of magic he’d had
with Deryk. Surely, Chris thought this could be a way out
to solving the lack of chemistry with the new head coach.
The flip side of moving to Australia however would

mean Chris losing his friends, his swimming buddies.
Finally, this was what made Chris continue to work with
the new head coach. By moving to another country,
Chris felt he would be abandoning his team and his
friends. That was not an option. For Chris, the fun in
swimming was all about friends!
Chris prioritized. You can all understand this. It
seems like a simple decision. Where it gets a little
murky are the repercussions of such a decision, i.e., to
stay with friends. How do you really know while you’re
prioritizing, which is the right decision? Worse, what
happens if you regret your decision?
One can find solace with regard to regret by remem
bering what Sidney J. Harris, American journalist and
author said: “Regret for the things we did can be tem
pered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do
that is inconsolable.”56 Looking at the parallels between
coaching athletes and coaching business leaders, focus
and intensity are equally important. I also see noticeable
differences. My most motivated coaching clients show
up before I do at our sessions. They never cancel our
appointments. They’re concerned about how I will
feel if they don’t do what we’d previously agreed. We
communicate more often outside of our sessions. They
inform me on a regular basis of any quick wins, and they
prefer when I challenge them every time we meet, as
opposed to simply supporting them. They want me to
push them hard if they don’t meet their commitments.
I can feel the fire in their belly that drives them to carry
out the changes they’ve committed to,
If I compare these clients with those who prefer more

of a loose approach, they may want for me to act as a
sparring partner, provide emotional support or long-
term career help, and exchange some ideas. They are
perfectly happy with this kind of interaction.
One thing is for sure, however. When I push hard
because they want me to push them hard, they achieve
better, systemic, and long-lasting results. That extra
level of commitment is often what makes a difference.
Interesting parallels indeed.
Powerful questions
1. What are your thoughts on the benefits or

working with a coach?
2. What would be the most important thing you
would want a mentor or coach to help you with
right now?
3. Within a framework of complete confidentiality,
working with a mentor or a coach can help
you along your journey to greatness. What is
holding you back from working with a coach
or mentor?

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16
Persistence: Fall Down 7 Times
Get Up 8?
“You train for 3 years in order to get ready for a 2-week
period at the Olympics in order to get ready for a one or
two-minute race. In other words, you train and get ready
99.9% of the time in order to compete and perform for
that 0.1% of the time.”
̶ Chris
Naoki Higashida is a young, contemporary Japanese

author, poet, and essayist who, before his 25th birthday
had published over 20 books in Japanese. Through his
writing (translated into 30 languages including English),
he has reached many people in the world, offering his
philosophy on life from a different perspective.
Communication does not come easy to Higashida. He
has autism and is only able to communicate a few words
or phrases verbally. When he was a child his parents
discovered that he could communicate in text with an
alpha grid or keyboard. At the age of 13 he published
his first book, The Reason I Jump.57 In it, Higashida
shares the challenges of his autism, his frustration at his
inability to communicate, as well as the challenges of
day-to-day living that he faces.58
In 2017, Higashida’s Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8 was

published.59 The title comes from a Japanese proverb
which means never giving up, always striving for more.
It means focusing on a distant reality yet to come and
having the courage to stand up again after being knocked
down.60
The thrill of competing and the joy of winning is
what a lot of us dream of. The reality, however, is that
you can’t win them all. Case in point: Babe Ruth. Ruth is
one of only three baseball players to hit more than 700
home runs in a baseball career.61 At one time, he also
held the record for the greatest number of strikeouts at
bat.62 “With his reputation as the King of Home Runs
came the title of the King of Strikeouts. Alongside his
714 career home runs stood a legacy of 1,330 strikeouts
– a figure a purist of the time would find appalling.” 63
Who would have thought that such a powerful slugger
could also lead in strikeouts? In American baseball, a
home run is defined as batting the ball out of the baseball
park and getting at least one point, or up to 4 points if
the bases are loaded (i.e., there’s a runner on each base).
A strikeout means showing up to bat and swinging three
times without striking the ball. Ruth’s reputation was
that of a slugger. He could easily hit the ball out of the
park, but he also had many strikeouts. This seems to be
a bit of a paradox. Or is it? The message here is that you
don’t need to execute perfectly all the time to be a leader
in American baseball, or for any other type of leadership
for that matter!
In the early years of competition, Chris admits he
lost a lot more than he won. However, as his strength
Persistence: Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8? 157
developed, at the age of 16, especially at national level,

the balance changed. Chris was winning more often than
he was losing. At international level, it was a different
story; Chris won less. As an Olympian, how did he deal
with losing?
Chris would say: “You cannot diminish persistence.
It’s not possible.” When Chris did lose, he would analyze
what had happened in the race, mentally and physically.
He’d look at the strategies he’d used and then document
that experience to help him deal with it. He’d figure out
how to incorporate these lessons on a day-to-day basis
moving forward. He summed it up nicely:
“You train for 3 years in order to get ready for a

2-week period at the Olympics in order to get ready
for a one or two-minute race. In other words, you train
and get ready 99.9 % of the time in order to compete
and perform for that 0.1% of the time.”64
Despite the overwhelming possibility of losing, how

do athlete’s stay motivated? Chris had a few ways. When
he found motivating quotes, he’d cut them out and put
them in his wallet. He’d also read stories of other athletes
that had faced challenges and persevered. Swimming is
a static sport. There’s not a lot of diversity. Chris says:
“You’re in water and it’s the same water for all

competitors. The landscape hasn’t changed nor are there
any weather impacts. We’re all going in one direction of
the length of the pool and we’re coming back from the
other length of the pool. In this case the goal is to try to
improve your performance in this kind of environment,

but there’s really not 100 ways of doing this aside from
what I developed as a methodology to prepare.”
Parents have told me how their kids were involved

in some sport and were competing, but then, at one
point, the child decided to stop competing. There are
many reasons for this: Losing interest in the sport, a
bully picking on fellow team members, becoming a
teenager, changing friends, moving to another school,
city, or country. However, these parents recalled that
their kid was having fun when suddenly, boom, they
decided to stop competing. The same happened to me as
a kid. I lost and I wanted out. In some ways the pressure
of competing and the possibility of losing was just too
much. You feel you’ve disappointed your parents and
your team members; this is too much of a burden to
carry when you’re small.
To overcome this and to accept losses as a part of the
sport, you have to keep moving forward and to learn
from the losses. During my interviews with Chris, he
told me that he had lost many, many more times than,
he had won. And for him, losing was a motivator.
Perhaps as adults we feel the same about competing.
Maybe it conjures up old memories of doing so when
we were kids. We didn’t have the wisdom or hindsight
then to realize that losing toughens both the spirit
and the soul. It’s pretty hard to know that kind of stuff
when you’re a kid, even if parents do console us on the
notion of losing. We carry that with us as adults, which
explains why some adults hate competing. We carry the
memories of sport, and most crucially of losing, which

explains why some people don’t fight for advancement:
They don’t like competing in a work setting.
By sticking to competing, albeit losing often at the
outset only to be replaced eventually by winning, you
strengthen the connection between effort and reward.
In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell explains the
difficulties of immigrants who came to settle in New York
in the early 1900s. Some of these became entrepreneurs
while working back-breaking 18-hour days. Some had
success, and their success inspired the song line “if you
can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” They
embodied the American dream. Of those who did
succeed, Gladwell explains:
“Autonomy, complexity and a connection between

effort and reward are the three qualities that work has
to have if it is to be satisfying. It is not how much money
we make that ultimately makes us happy between nine
and five. It’s whether our work fulfills us. […] If you
work hard enough to assert yourself, and use your
mind and imagination, you can shape the world to
your desires.”65
Chris recognized autonomy, complexity, and the

connection between effort and reward, but this realization
didn’t come overnight. It came after many years, often at
the expense of money. His rigorous training regime over a
three-year period to prepare for a one or two-minute race
encapsulates the quintessential definition of hard work.
Who makes this kind of sacrifice? You train for three years
to able to access the world stage, and if you get there, you
compete for two minutes and you can lose by milliseconds.
This is a Herculean effort, the stuff of demigods.
As a teenager my parents would tell me: “There’s no
substitute for hard work.” Clearly their lectures didn’t
work on me. They were obviously misled and had no idea
of what success was all about. I was going to show them
a thing or two about success because I knew everything!
Does this sound familiar? Despite thinking “that’s
a bunch of baloney” every time they reminded me of
how hard work correlated with success, 35 years later,
I can attest that hard work is, in fact, the common
denominator between those who succeed and those who
don’t. In fact, the ones who succeed are so busy working
at what they believe in, they don’t have time to second-
guess themselves. When you’re in that zone or trance:
- You’re not worried about what people think.
- There’s no impostor syndrome, that thought
pattern where you are convinced that you’re a fraud
and you don’t deserve what you’ve achieved.
- You’re not thinking you’re going to fail.
To sustain persistence, Octavian would remind his
athletes that they couldn’t become someone remarkable
merely by skipping some steps in their career or faking
their training. Winning athletes had to respect their
training steps in their exact order.
Like Babe Ruth holding records for home runs and
strikeouts, and Chris’s reminder of losing more times
than winning, Higashida’s Fall Down 7 times get up 8
also speaks to persistence.
Powerful questions
1. T here will always be barriers to meeting your

goals. How do you usually deal with barriers?
2. I nstead of looking at setbacks as failures how
will you reframe setbacks as a way to bring you
closer to your goal?
3. I f you agree that there’s no substitute for hard
work, how do you plan to deploy more effort in
reaching what you desire?

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17
Belief and Commitment:
Have You Got Fire in your belly?
“Remember that both behavior and feeling spring
from belief.”
̶ Maxwell Maltz
We’ve talked a lot about the physical preparation required

to emulate an Olympian, but what about the inner side
of things? How much do you believe in yourself? Are
you committed to pushing till you crack? Do you have
that fire in your belly we discussed earlier?
Belief
In Psycho Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz indicates that

“Both behavior and feeling spring from belief.”66 Often,
you might think you can’t do something just because it’s
never been done. You might think you lack the capability,
the intelligence, or the ability to do something. You
quickly rationalize it, often to a point where the task or
goal looks impossible. Something is holding you back.
In these times of hesitation, you should stop and take
some time to reflect. Why? Maltz asks: “Is this belief based
on an actual fact or an assumption – or a false conclusion?”

He suggests asking yourself the following questions:
1. Is there a rational reason for such a belief?

2. Could it be that I am mistaken in this belief?
3. Would I come to the same conclusion about some
other person in a similar situation?
4. Why should I continue to act and feel as if this
were true if there is no good reason to believe it?67
As we’ve seen in Chris’s case, the power of goal setting

is demonstrable. The moment you set a goal for yourself,
you’re half-way to meeting it. Why? The very act of
thinking about the problem/issue or goal, directing
focused attention towards it, sets your subconscious
mind in action to find ways to make it attainable. Your
thinking about the goal may provide the environment to
proactively discuss your idea with friends, family, and
stakeholders. You may get a set of different views – both
good and bad – on how to tackle your goal. And if you
remember to ask yourself how to reach your goal just
before going to bed and ask your subconscious mind to
come up with ideas, you may find that, while you sleep,
your subconscious will go to work and give you some
pretty staggering insights by the time you wake up.
This focused attention on goal setting and achievement
works. It’s worked for me and countless clients. It’s what
Olympians and demigods do all the time. It’s what
ordinary people don’t do. But what happens when you
can’t get past that first 50%; if you simply don’t believe you
Have You Got Fire in your belly? 165
can do it. Then what? Maltz has the answer: “Remember

that both behavior and feeling spring from belief.”68
In coaching, there are two moments that create

systemic, long-term behavioral change: Awareness and
responsibility.
Awareness is that magic light-bulb moment when

you realize that you are doing something that is annoying
others, either in a work or social setting. If you consult
your peers and stakeholders, they will help you discover
“blind spots,” those moments when you’re faced with
the blind truth. For example, you might often cut in
when people speak and don’t listen. Becoming fully
aware that you’re annoying people by not listening is the
first step to accepting that: 1) not listening to people is
not acceptable social behavior, and 2) that you want to
change. The creation of awareness becomes curative,
which essentially means that you’ve decided to fix it.
Responsibility is quite simply taking the learning

from the awareness stage and doing something different
– in this case adopting an active listening and learning
stance when people are speaking to you and actually
doing something about it.
Pretty simple concepts, right? But awareness and
responsibility require maturity and diligence, because
if you think about it, it may have taken you a long time
to realize (and accept) that you weren’t listening and
therefore annoying people. You probably didn’t pick up
on the fact that you weren’t listening and perhaps the
first time you were told that you don’t listen, you simply
brushed off the feedback. Only after repeated attempts to
tell you the same thing and working with a coach pointing
out the same results from a 360-degree feedback does the
realization occur that you need to change this annoying
habit. This is the moment of maturity that I’m referring
to. Once you know and believe that you’re not listening,
that becomes the moment when you alter your behavior.
Commitment
We’ve settled the belief side of things by acknowledging

that you need to change your behavior. That should be
simple to accomplish because you’ve become super-aware,
correct? In theory, yes, but you need to be committed to
changing a long-standing behavior. So, we’re back to why
you feel you can’t reach your goal. In addition to Maltz’s
four questions, perhaps the reason you think you can’t
reach your goal is because you’re simply not committed.
You’re stuck and you’re not progressing. But why?
There may be a variety of reasons. But one of the most
important elements relates to commitment and how you
perceive commitment. You may think and feel that you
are committed to change, yet you are not getting to that
first base of progress.
You may think that you must develop commitment to
a choice before you make a decision, but research shows
that we develop increased commitment to our choices
after we make a decision. To quote Srini Pillay:
“One way to increase the chances of commitment

to a new goal is to make small decisions along the way.
Every time you make this decision, you reward the
brain and its signal becomes even stronger, propelling
you in the direction of the desired change.”69
I call these small decisions, “baby steps’ as a metaphor

to show that taking even small steps, similar to a baby
learning how to walk is the best way to enable progress.
My study of brain science is fascinating in helping us
understand commitment, because it demonstrates that to
make a change – albeit a large change – it is best to act
and think rather than think and act. As you build up your
commitment, you become more emotionally invested
in your choice, ensuring your continued progress and
development.
Sometimes you may not want to change your way
of doing things. You rationalize previous methods. Let’s
assume that after careful feedback from your leader you
need to delegate more effectively, since it’s been discovered
that you prefer to keep control. To climb the corporate
ladder, you need to address this shortcoming quickly.
The change you seek can be accomplished in small,
progressive steps. At each step the brain is rewired
for the new task or way of doing something and these
newfound skills in turn motivate the brain even further
hence acting first then thinking.
This situation reminds me of a childhood joke:
Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One small piece at a time!
So, bit by bit you get to achieve the major change or

goal that you seek. Daniel Pink said it clearly in his book
Drive, “Reminding yourself that you don’t need to be
a master by day 3 is the best way of ensuring that you
become a master by day 3000.”70
Often the word commitment implies a written agre
ement between two parties. But does a real commitment
require a legal document? Or does it require passion, a
true purpose, and endless energy to make a difference?
Jerry Lewis – comedian, actor, singer and filmmaker
and all-round very funny man – entertained audiences
from the 1950s till 2010. He is remembered for his
slapstick comedy, pairing up with fellow crooner Dean
Martin in many Hollywood movies. Lewis’s own movies,
including The Nutty Professor, became all-time classics.
He was the epitome of the nice guy next door, capturing
the hearts of young and old.
Lewis became associated with the Muscular
Dystrophy Association (MDA) in 1952, shortly after the
organization was formed by a few adults with muscular
dystrophy and parents of children who had it. Muscular
dystrophy is a group of diseases that cause weakness
and degeneration of the skeletal muscles. Lewis, seeing
people with this terrible affliction, decided to so do
something about it. He found a novel and powerful way
of reaching out to his audience: He made a TV show
that screened to millions of Americans and Canadians
on Labor Day weekend every year: The Jerry Lewis
Muscular Dystrophy Association Labor Day Telethon.
Over the years, the TV show became the must-see event
over the Labor Day weekend.
The telethon lasted 22 hours – from Sunday evening

till late Monday evening. I’d often wonder how Lewis
managed to stay awake as the host of the show. He
invited fellow entertainers, singers, artists, and movie
stars to come in for a few songs, artistic moments, or
interviews, without pay. Often these celebrities would
donate to the MDA to help Jerry reach the target that
he’d set for the weekend. The program grew in terms
of popularity through the years, with local TV stations,
celebrities, children, and schools getting involved in
raising funds.
Viewers called in via telephone to make a small
donation. They’d see their name scrolling on TV showing
their donation. This amplified the hype and excitement.
Friends challenged each other to donate or organize an
event where even small sums were collected. Local or
city organizations such as fire departments came to the
local TV shows or met Lewis in person to explain their
fund-raising activities and the amount they’d raised for
the MDA.
The telethon ended on Labor Day, Monday evening,
with a drum roll and much fanfare. Lewis would show a
flickering board of US dollars that had been raised over
the weekend. It was a magical moment for Lewis, for the
viewers, for the MDA, and for the children involved. Lewis
committed to doing this two-day event for his lifetime.
It took a good part of the year leading up to Labor Day
to prepare. His efforts supported a worthwhile charity to
the tune of USD$2.45 billion. The MDA credited Lewis
by stating: “His tireless humanitarian efforts were the
hallmark of the MDA Telethon for 45 years.”71
As I look back through my life to remember how

I have come to define the word commitment, those
weekends come to mind. Lewis had done it again. He
had captured our hearts. He had entertained us. He had
let us into his personal life. He had raised the profile of
the foundation for generations to come. And he had
made everyone involved feel like a hero.
The philosophy behind Lewis’s years of devotion to
the MDA is summed up in his motto he often quoted:
“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good,
therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show
to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer
nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”72
Jerry Lewis was a committed, ordinary person who did
extraordinary things.
Chris displayed commitment, in numerous ways,
too. At the age of 11, he dived too deep into the pool
and ruptured both ear drums. He loved swimming
but to continue to do so, implied that he would need
professional ear plugs. Despite the ear plugs helping Chris
in the water, he was prone to painful ear infections. Pain
and discomfort didn’t deter him; he kept competing.
At the age of 14 while having fun at Lake Midnapore,
Alberta, Chris was playing on a swing. It broke. He fell.
Trying to break his fall he broke his wrist in the process.
He tells me his wrist did not set properly; it’s still not
symmetrical with his other wrist. In swimming, wrists
are pretty important. Outside the pool to build and
strengthen his muscles, Chris needed weight training and
these kinds of exercises were difficult and painful for him.
Pain and discomfort didn’t deter him; he kept competing.
On another occasion, Chris had good intentions of

running up and down the pool side bleachers (or benches
for spectators) to get warmed up for a competition that
evening. Rather than helping him, he broke one of his
toes. Yet, giving up on an important swim meet was not
an option. Luck was on his side since Chuck Dixon, the
family doctor, was nearby. He taped Chris’s toe. Pain and
discomfort didn’t deter him; he kept competing.
Chris got beyond the pain by remembering what an
assistant coach had once told him: You have to “train with
pain” because if an even more important event comes
up, such as the Olympics, you’ll need the confidence and
resistance to train with pain and still commit to the race.
Clearly, these setbacks did not stop Chris. Most of us
take a break when we get a mild headache. Competing
while in pain is what commitment is all about. How
you would deal with an ear infection while swimming?
Would a broken wrist have stopped you training? Would
a broken toe be enough for you to give up altogether?
Commitment at this level is the sign of a great athlete,
the sign of demigods.
Getting back to our previous ideas about how belief
and commitment help in reaching our long-term goals,
we can observe the following points:
1. Accept that brain science research shows that you

develop increased commitment to our choices
after you make a decision.
2. Make multiple small decisions on the way to a big
decision, because at each step of the way, the path
chosen will increase your commitment to that

decision.
3. Avoid making big leaps, since they are very
difficult, and you may postpone change.
4. Recognize that it takes a long time to develop
commitment to a large change in your life, but
by making small decisions you can help yourself
because each decision increases commitment.
So, there you have it: Belief and commitment for

ordinary people. It works.
Powerful questions
1. Remember that both behavior and feeling

spring from belief. Before achieving something
important for you, ask yourself if is there a
reason why you cannot do this?
2. You develop increased commitment to your
choices after you make a decision, hence the
importance of deciding something. How will
you approach your next challenge now that you
are armed with this knowledge?
3. One way to increase the chances of commitment
to a new goal is to make small decisions along
the way. How do you intend to use this “baby
steps” approach to help you reach your goal?

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18
Attitude Isn’t Everything, It’s the
Only Thing! Have you got the
right attitude?
“A quitter never wins, and a winner never quits.”
̶ Attributed to both Napoleon Hill and Vince Lombardi
Have you ever noticed that some people seem to have

it together? They’ve a keen sense of reality and do good
things? Often, I’ll hear: “Do you know why I like them
so much? It’s because they’ve got the right attitude.”
We use the word attitude to replace adjectives such
as great, resourceful, compassionate, and mature. In
a work setting I use the word attitude all the time –
it’s one of my favorite words best illustrated by the
expression “A quitter never wins, and a winner never
quits.”
In a job setting, attitude can make a world of
difference. You are not born with attitude. It’s
something that results when you develop the right
frame of mind, a sense of optimism, and dedication.
Attitude means trying what you’ve never done,
regardless of the result. It means coming up with
solutions to a problem as opposed to just bringing up
problems. It means helping someone without needing

to be recognized or praised. Attitude is making sure
the team wins and not the person. It means not
complaining about your work, your boss, or your
colleagues, since complaining quickly becomes a
habit. It means never, never quitting.
When I was a Commercial Director in the
Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) for a mobile
telephone operator, I desperately needed a model for
forecasting revenues. Models can be sophisticated
software but, in my case, in Africa, it had to be simple.
Microsoft Excel was the only tool we could use.
Modelers back in the early 2000s in the DRC were
rare. Even using Excel was a rarity. This one fellow,
Alain, was working in the call center, troubleshooting
and solving issues for our mobile subscribers. He was
doing a really good job on the front line with our
customers. When I asked him if he knew anything
about models or Excel, he told me that he’d dabbled
with Excel in university.
Was he smart? Yes. Was he gifted? Not particularly.
Did he have experience? No. What he did have was the
right attitude and determination to take on this new
challenge of modeling. This idea of trying something
regardless of the outcome was exciting for him.
Attitude is what transformed Alain into a professional
who is now a seasoned Vice President of Brand &
Communications at Airtel.
Nothing pleases me more than when I see former
team members from previous employers prosper and
get hired by Fortune 500 companies. This happens
Attitude Isn’t Everything, It’s the Only Thing! Have you got
the right attitude? 177
because they have the right attitude. What is the

secret? Instilling in your team the difference between
the right attitude and the wrong attitude. This is our
role as leaders. We all need to be reminded of this at
times when our behavior, our actions, our language,
our approach are not cohesive with the attitude of
getting things done.73
I’m a strong believer in changing attitudes. William
James, a leading thinker of the late nineteenth century
and one of the most influential US philosophers
discovered how to, “alter your life by altering your
attitude.”74 Like anything in life, we need a little
feedback and direction.
Octavian Bellu’s view on what it takes for athletes
to win gold medals embodies what I define as the right
attitude: Courage, spontaneity, and a strong spirit; an
accessible philosophy adapted to realities, versatility,
and mental endurance. This really isn’t any different
for business leaders. Think of someone you have
worked for in the past, someone you truly admired as
a boss. Chances are that this person commanded your
respect and loyalty, and if you’re really lucky, perhaps
you still have access to them or you’ve considered
working with them as your mentor.
The attitude I’m talking about is the representation
of an attitude displayed by a great leader, day in
day out. It’s the power of example. Olympic athletes
represent role models with the right stuff…the right
attitude. Attitude has been proven to pave the way to
success.
Powerful questions
1. If attitude is a state of mind, what is the best

way to shift your attitude the next time barriers
pop up?
2. How will you remember to import the following
motto A quitter never wins and a winner never
quits, the next time you plan something?
3. If you alter your life by altering your attitude,
what effect will this have on your confidence
level and self-esteem?
Attitude Isn’t Everything, It’s the Only Thing! Have you got
the right attitude? 179

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19
Fear: Are Your Choices
Based on Fear?
“Fear is the mind-killer.”
̶ Frank Herbert
Fear in a work setting
How does fear affect demigods, aliens, and ordinary

people? Is there such a thing called fear when we refer
to demigods or aliens? How would we know? Sure,
ordinary people like you and me have fears, even if we
hate to admit to them.
Think about it. It’s nearly impossible to establish a
productive outcome when you feel even slightly afraid
of something. In a work setting, even if your colleagues
are acting competently and in perfectly good faith,
any agitation you feel is likely to interfere with your
recognizing or accepting as much – and any fear they
feel is likely to have the same effect relative to you. I have
known people who are more afraid of losing something
rather than being motivated or winning something they
don’t have? Perhaps that’s why so few people are able to
motivate themselves to reach their goals?
The solution? Identify fear-based responses wherever

they reside and short-circuit them as swiftly as possible.
American science fiction author Frank Herbert penned
the popular aphorism “Fear is the mind-killer.”75 Brain
science says that fear impedes logical thought, makes
objective analysis difficult, and gets in the way of taking
the appropriate, effective steps to achieve your objectives.
The fear that you (and in all likelihood your prospective
team members) feel is related to the “unknowns”
associated with your objectives.76
Let’s break your objectives down with a typical work-
related scenario:
1. Your primary goal is to achieve a favorable result

for your firm or company. The associated fear:
consequences of a negative outcome.
2. To achieve this objective, you need to work
effectively with others you have not worked with
before. The associated fear: Colleagues may not be
competent, committed, or willing to work well with
you in a team setting.
There are two things to immediately notice in this

scenario:
1. The fear is based on hypothetical factors, not real
ones – there may be a bad outcome, your colleagues
may not do their jobs well. Rationally, there is no
reason to respond to possibilities as if they were
actualities. Fear is a response best reserved for clear
and present threats.
2. You are not powerless in these situations. You

maintain a measure of control, or at least influence,
over the outcomes. You can apply your knowledge,
experience, and skill to promote a positive outcome,
and you can take measures to help guide the attitude
and actions of your colleagues.
When you look at situations this way, feared

“unknowns” move towards manageable “knowns,”
allowing fear to evaporate and fostering an environment
where trust can grow. By limiting or eliminating your own
fears, you project an image of confidence and capability,
engendering a similar sense in your colleagues. That
helps mitigate any fear they might feel, encourages them
to feel at ease – and develops their trust in you.
American psychologist Phillip McGraw states that
“Eighty percent of choices are based upon fear. People
don’t choose what they want; they choose what they feel
is safe.”77
Maltz reminds us that “there is an old psychological
axiom that says that constant exposure to the object
of fear immunizes against the fear.”78 If you surround
yourself by what you fear, not in a passive way but in an
active way, there’s a pretty good chance that you will get
rid of your fear. On the topic of networking, for example,
I have met many people who had a fear of meeting new
people and would avoid networking at work, events, or
conferences. With some advice and practice I helped
them meet new people through networking, to actively
engage in what they feared most, and the results were
staggering. All that was required was a change in their
beliefs, a bit of commitment, and a desire to get rid of

their fear.
Diffusing fear is one of our most vital tasks. Dr. Srini
Pillay observes:
“Trust and fear are inversely related and affect the

brain in opposite ways. Fear increases the amygdala
activation while trust decreases it. The amygdala
(which a pair of small organs in the brain) is the fear
center in your brain. It’s the area that prepares you for
‘fight or flight’ when faced with a stressful situation.
The amygdala stores and perpetuates the anxiety
response and anxiety disorders. Therefore, developing
a trusting work environment is important in similar
ways to creating a non-fear based motivational space.
It frees up the thinking brain to focus on relevant issues
rather than using up thinking resources to resolve trust
conflicts. Trust is also rewarding since it affects several
components of the reward system. These components
feed back to the action centers in the brain, preparing
the brain to act. Without trust, action is inhibited or
infused with fear; this compromises actions.”79
Will there still be instances of distrust and moments

of irrational fear? Of course. Ordinary people aren’t
robots, aren’t perfect, and aren’t predictable. It’s
possible, though, to greatly reduce their frequency and
significance – and engender the spirit of cooperation
needed to be members of a high-functioning team,
rather than an internal competition.
Sometimes a career move might mean a big change,

with a significant risk attached to it. It’s natural to feel
some apprehension and trepidation when faced with
such a change. It takes a lot of courage to take the plunge
to leave the familiar behind and step into the unknown
but taking a calculated risk can pay off and make it all
worthwhile.
Monica* was a high-energy, dynamic HR director
working for an FMCG (fast moving consumer goods)
manufacturer. Her last few years however had worn her
down. The pace of the environment was accelerating.
She had to work harder with fewer resources in her
HR team. She was challenged more and more with her
work/life balance, juggling work with family duties as a
mom. With three changes of Managing Director in as
many years, Monica was constantly having to adapt to
a new boss and a new direction. In her 40s, she had the
good sense to ask herself: “Is this all worth it?” She had
considered a promotion in the past but it meant moving
abroad. After careful thought, consideration, and
discussion with her husband and kids, she refused the
promotion, only to receive a poor performance review
the following year. Were these connected, she wondered?
Clearly the environment had dramatically changed, and
Monica had to look for her new port of call.
But other jobs in FMCG companies were also rare in
the city where she lived. When asked about her passion,
Monica told me she always wanted to be an entrepreneur,
a HR consultant. We discussed the challenges of going out
on her own with no salary security. The allure of being
her own boss was stimulating, yet the fear of letting it all
go was daunting. She was a true subject matter expert

in HR, but how would she find new clients? She had
experience, but how long would it take for her clients to
trust she could do the job as an advisor? How would she
close business deals since she had never done this before?
What if her husband lost his job and the family became
dependent on Monica’s new business to survive? How
much cash flow would she need to weather a slow period?
That’s when the fear set in, and for good reason.
We discussed the options: Staying with her current
employer or leaving her current job. In the end, she
chose to prepare for her move out of her FMCG job and
to do “her thing.”
How did Monica resolve her fear? The first step was to
plan her exit and start networking. She needed to assess
the market and validate the appetite for her services. The
next step was to have frequent, unfettered discussions
with her family about the “what if ” situations. Lucky
for Monica, her husband fully supported her (this
was another component that was incorporated in her
decision-making process). They both agreed to limit the
new venture to a reasonable time period – a deadline or
a go/no-go decision if prospecting and winning clients
proved to be overbearing. In this case, she would look
for another HR job.
Monica was now clearer that she had to leave and
opted to give her employer not the standard two
months’ notice, but rather six months, which they
gladly accepted. Suddenly, Monica was able to relax.
I suggested that she look at her current employer as a
potential client. Monica was now able to take anything
her employer threw at her because she had made her

decision, and more importantly, she had a finish date in
mind, a light at the end of the tunnel. She also had the
foresight to keep the door open, as opposed to slamming
it behind her on her last day, because her employer
could very well become a client for ad hoc services. The
result: She made her decision. She’s now calmer and she’s
looking for new clients.
Monica is happy because she’s following her dream.
Our coaching sessions became more related to her
business, how to prospect for clients, how to close deals,
and how to keep her networking skills warm. She’d
need to work the room during conferences to gain new
clients. Monica is now well under her way to becoming
a full-fledged entrepreneur. What happens next? No one
knows.
Is the fear gone? No. But she’s now more in control
of her destiny and although this entrepreneurial venture
is at times intimidating and stressful, it is good stress.
She no longer feels vulnerable by having someone else
dictate her career.
Monica’s scenario is no different to that of many of
my clients taking the plunge to become an entrepreneur.
It’s risky for sure, but planning ahead, getting knowledge
about the business and the market, and getting full
support from your family are sure ways to avoid painful
situations should the new venture not work out. It’s
happened to me on two occasions. I vividly remember the
mistakes I made and their corresponding pitfalls. Now,
on my third attempt as an entrepreneur, those painful
lessons have served me well. I noticed, something also
echoed by my clients: The toughest part of the process

is actually making the decision to leave a secure job and
go out on your own. Once the decision is made, a higher
level of control sets in.
To include Chris in this conversation, a coach once
told him and his parents that it would be unwise for him
to compete against older swimmers. For example, it was
quite common for him at say, 14 years old, to compete
with kids that were 16-18 years old. In fact, the coach
had later decided against it. Chris then had a discussion
with his parents. Clearly with this kind of counsel from
a coach may have initiated some feeling of fear or self-
doubt and that maybe, just maybe he should not rock
the boat too much.
Chris, however, made this decision and told his
coach: “You know what… I want to move up”! He would
continue to compete with older opponents. Besides he
thought to himself: What’s the worst that could happen?
It turned out to be a great decision and he took the same
approach when he was 16 years old, competing with
20-year-old swimmers. This extra push and his ability
to quash any potential fear paid off for Chris.
How many times do you settle for “status quo”, in
other words, keep things the way they are? Chris’s
example shows undoubtedly that pushing yourself is the
best route if you want to emulate demigods!
Powerful questions
1. F ear impedes logical thought, makes objective

analysis difficult, and gets in the way of taking
appropriate, effective steps to achieve your
objectives. The next time you are hesitating
because of fear ask yourself: What’s really
driving this fear and why?
2. If you agree with American psychologist, Phillip
McGraw that people don’t choose what they
want; they choose what they feel is safe, then
what have you learned from situations which
you were fearful, that can help you today?
3. If you agree that developing trust in your
work environment creates a non-fear based
motivational space, how do you plan to dispel
fear under your leadership?

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20
Reality Check: So, What Are You?
Demigod, Alien, or Ordinary
Person?
“Passion. Commitment. Be better every day. Every single
small thing, every single detail has a massive impact on
your work… give 100% of your best and try every day to
be even better than yourself.”
̶ Nadia Comăneci
There’s one more important ingredient to add to the

mix when it comes to the Olympics: The Goddess of
Montreal.
When I fell in love, I was 16 years old; she was
14. Glued to the TV watching the Olympics, this
wonderful young lady had stopped the world turning.
I daydreamed about asking her out on a date. But I was
living in Canada. She was from a country closed off
from the Western world. How could I ever meet her?
I watched her Olympic moment on national television,
over and over again in instant replays. Instead of seeing
a whole bunch of scores such as: .98, .97 .96, .95, all I
could see was 1.0. Was the scoreboard defective? Was
there a power shortage? For the next hour or it seemed,
audiences around the world held their collective breath.

The world was stunned. It watched in disbelief, waiting
for confirmation before it could breathe again. Nadia
Comăneci had done what had never been done. She had
scored a perfect 10. She became the first gymnast to be
awarded a perfect score of 10 at an Olympic Games and
she had done so for the Romanian women’s gymnastics
team.
Nadia Comăneci jubilates on the podium after winning the gold

medal in Gymnastics Women’s team during the Summer Olympic
Games in Montreal, 20 July 1976. / Reprinted with permission
from: Dpa picture alliance / Alamy Stock Photo.
Reality Check: So, What Are You? Demigod, Alien,
or Ordinary Person? 195
Although only 16 years old, I was old enough to

question how could anyone get a perfect score at the
Olympics? The world still remembers. My admiration
for this young lady from a remote country called
Romania grew even more. I wondered how cool it
would be to meet Nadia Comăneci in person. I filed
that thought under wishful thinking and got on with
my life.
Around the same time, I met Octavian Bellu in
Bucharest, back in 2005, I was invited to another COSR
event. It was a well-to-do affair full of athletes, coaches,
and sponsors like my employer. When I noticed the
guest speaker on the agenda, my heart stopped: Nadia
Comăneci. Wishful thinking? I was over the moon.
There she was. Elegant, classy, with a warm smile
for everyone she met. She spoke perfect English. After
her speech, accompanied by the COSR’s top brass, she
took time to meet those who approached her. She gladly
allowed pictures to be taken of her and autographed
whatever people could get their hands on for her to sign.
The line of admirers seemed endless. This was clearly
not a moment to interrupt, but what if I missed my
chance to meet her? She was now living in Oklahoma,
USA, not exactly a short commute from Bucharest,
Romania. So, like a rock band die-hard fan I waited for
her to leave before I seized the chance to say hello. As
she walked by me, I said something. I can’t remember
what. But she stopped, shook my hand, and we spoke
for three great minutes. I mentioned that my employer
at the time was the COSR’s biggest sponsor, a fact Nadia
immediately recognized. I then mustered the courage
to ask her if we could meet over coffee and discuss her

endorsements for some of our products. She agreed.
We met for coffee. I shared my enthusiasm for the
Olympics and seeing her on TV earning her perfect
score in Montreal. I had about 100 questions to ask her,
but I needed to get to the point real fast as she only had
45 minutes. We agreed on a few ideas. I was to come
back to her with a few endorsement suggestions.
It was indeed a great day for me; 45 minutes of pure
bliss. There I was, sitting down with Romania’s best-
known ambassador, a celebrity called Nadia whom I
found to be humble, open, and kind, and a friendly,
professional sportswoman and businesswoman. I was
indeed blessed that day.
Fast forward to early 2020. I thought I might reach
out to Nadia and interview her for the book. Would
she remember me? Would she be too busy? By the time
the 1976 Olympics ended, Nadia had earned seven
perfect tens, three gold medals, one bronze, and one
silver. Four years later at the 1980 Moscow Olympics,
Nadia earned two more gold medals and two silver to
bring her Olympic total to nine medals. In 1996, she
was inducted into the International Gymnastics Hall
of Fame. In 1999, she was honored by ABC News and
Ladies’ Home Journal as one of the 100 Most Important
Women of the 20th Century.80 In 1999, she received
a World Sports Award after being elected Athlete of
the Century during a gala dinner in Vienna, Austria.
As one of the world’s most well-known gymnasts, she
would surely have a very full schedule.
Again, in true Nadia style and professional spirit,

she replied to my email and answered my questions,
questions designed to validate the points made here
and, more importantly, to get her view on them.
Given Nadia’s exceptional success, I asked her what
goal-setting method she had used to win her Olympic
golds and achieve perfection at such a young age?81
“Passion. Commitment. Be better every day. Every

single small thing, every single detail has a massive
impact on your work. You have to really pay attention,
to focus on your work, to work harder and harder,
to be creative, and to not give up. You can succeed,
you can get closer to perfection. You just need to give
100% of your best and try every day to be even better
than yourself.”
Still curious about the role of persistence and

that Japanese proverb, Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8, I
wondered what roles persistence and commitment
played in terms of achieving excellence?
“Everyone is put to a series of challenges almost

at every step, no matter what the work. But these
challenges and the way you overcome them help your
individual progress, make you better at your work
and as a person. And probably nothing teaches you
more about overcoming obstacles and not giving up
when it’s hard than sports. In sports, there’s almost
no progress without challenge, and by challenge I’m
not referring to competition, but the training itself.
Probably each solved challenge brings you in front of

another one. And confronting the challenges makes
you the best in whatever you do.”
Given her incredible success as an athlete, I had to

ask how important her coach was in her gold-winning
journey?
“No win is only for the player. Or the sportsperson.

It takes more than a good or even an excellent
sportsperson to win. You need the support of a good
coach, and even more, the support and confidence
that only your family can give. When you have a very
supporting family by your side, even if they’re your
parents, your children, your siblings or your partner,
you feel their energy with you. They give you strength
and confidence that you can achieve any goal. Of
course, you need to work hard and train with your
coach, but there is nothing more powerful than your
family having your back. “
The role of the parent is implicitly important. This

was the case for Chris; it was reiterated by Octavian
Bellu, and now Nadia. Indeed, the role of family
members cannot be underestimated in terms of its
impact on the athlete. This component, this ingredient
in the mix, is essential.
Would Nadia qualify as an alien? It’s hard to tell
since no one is privy to this information. However, my
intuition tells me that this is the case. Her contributions
to the sport were amazing and unique. I am convinced
that some other gymnasts will score a perfect 10 in the

future because of Nadia’s influence. Aliens, if we recall,
enable humanity to move forward in an exponential
manner.
Back to Chris. What label can we give him? His
milestones might label him a demigod. He has certainly
achieved what very few athletes in the world have been
able to do. But to qualify as a demigod, however, he’d
need to have won a gold medal or perhaps many gold
medals.
That leaves us with the label of ordinary person. The
paradox is, however, that very few people have achieved
as much in their life. He had tremendous latent talent
at a young age. He exploited that talent. He surrounded
himself with strong teammates and a great coach. He
won more national competitions in his teenage years
than he lost, and he persevered.
He competed at the Olympics without adequate
financial support, lacking a proper athlete’s diet and
sufficient sleep, yet he remained steadfast in his drive
to compete and win. This is what led Chris to meet his
milestones.
My interviews with Chris also revealed a spiritual
strength to his character. Not necessarily in terms of
religious spirituality, but a view of how the universe
pays back based on what you give. It’s as if his focus on
imagery and his double exposure to a milieu of great
athletes on a world stage had opened his eyes to the
importance of reaching out and give to the universe as
opposed to taking from the universe. This extra element
is in addition to the basics such as talent, diet, sleep,

stamina, persistence, and relentless training sessions.
His exposure to one of the greatest platforms of
global competition has given him insights and, more
importantly, wisdom that he uses today as a professional
manager.
Despite the success, the status, the accolades, the
world travel, the wall of plaques, and the numerous
medals, Chris feels today that he gave it all he could
and has no regrets whatsoever. In our conversations, I
never heard him say: “I should have done this or that.”
It was a great ride. It fueled his competitive spirit to a
point of helping him today in business, yet despite this
enormously rich experience, he has remained humble.
What I did notice is because of the discipline, the
sacrifice, the focus on pushing himself to the next
limit and compete, Chris developed a sense of altruism
and empathy. He believes in Karma. He believes that
he was fortunate enough to compete and it’s probably
because he was helped by someone along the way. This
warm touch of spirituality motivates him today to help
someone in need, to help when he can.
“Paul, you get what you put out in the universe.

Karma is the quintessential runner of the universe.
Don’t expect anything back. Make someone smile.
Help someone save 10 minutes, offer your time. There
are a lot of takers in the world. We need more givers.”
Chris would occasionally ask people what they’ve

done to help someone quite simply because when you
help others, you develop as a human being. When

people either don’t comprehend or accept the notion of
giving back, Chris would hear a common reply: “Well,
of course you give back to the community and feel this
way; you were an Olympian and it’s easy for you to do
so.” To which Chris reflects and tells me, “Paul… people
don’t appreciate small victories. People don’t push
themselves, hence they’ve probably not done enough
with their lives.”
Chris is an ordinary person with demigod attributes
who perhaps in some ways has been touched by God,
which makes him an alien. Yet he’ll be the first one to
tell you that he’s no better than anyone else. But he is
someone who pushed the limits, accomplished so much
at a young age, persisted and needed to compete, all of
which continues to help him today in his career. All
that practice has helped Chris survive business and to
be ready to tackle the rat race every day.
His next challenge to reach? To get an MBA at
a reputable school. He told me that he won’t need to
take the GMAT (Graduate Management Admission
Test) since his grades during his undergraduate studies
were high enough. Indeed, yet one more achievement:
Excellent grades earned during his brutal Olympic
training sessions. This would qualify as challenging in
my opinion.
Chris has accomplished what very few could fathom,
yet he remains personable, friendly, open-hearted,
caring, and a helluva nice guy. Are all ordinary people
with demigod attributes this humble?
Chris Renaud is my nephew. My big brother Ray has

two sons, Chris and Dan. Yes, the same Dan who threw
Chris into the pool all those years back! This picture
was taken after the 1996 Olympics when Chris was 19.
As a family, we’d been following Chris’s journey to
the Olympics since he was 12. This might explain my
interest in the Olympics and why I choke up every time

I see the opening ceremonies, or the look on the face
of the gold medalist when they raise the flag and play
their national anthem. Through Chris, I realize more
than most what it takes to get on that podium and to
hear your national anthem being played in your honor.
When that flag is raised and the anthem begins, they
cry. Then I cry.
This is a moving, emotional experience for me
because I’m happy for that athlete. It’s the culmination
of all that hard work. That moment for the athlete
is surreal. The athlete has prepared, visualized, and
practiced and now it is paying off.
Now that you know what it takes to get onto the
global podium, I challenge you to watch the next
Olympic Games. Observe and witness the faces and
emotions of the medalists. It is indeed a beautiful
human experience that makes us one as a civilization.
My interviews with Chris confirmed to me that
ordinary people can do extraordinary things. With goal
setting, determination, belief, commitment, a winning
attitude, persistence, hard work, and passion you can
surpass yourself and achieve greatness. Perhaps you
won’t become an Olympian or a demigod, but you can
draw on your inner strength, stamina, and imagery
with the right combo of rest, diet, and fitness to work
towards your goals and achieve success.
You can emulate demigods and aliens because you
have superhuman abilities to direct your efforts and
thoughts. Yes, you’re superhuman but perhaps you
don’t know it.
Powerful questions
1. Given what you’ve read, what are your next

steps on your journey to becoming a demigod or
an alien?
2. What have you learned or reconfirmed about
yourself after reading these 14 tools?
3. What potential barriers might get in the way of
you sticking to your commitments?

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Conclusion
The ideas presented in this book identify what drives

people to excel by providing role models to prove that
anyone, be they a demigod, an alien, or an ordinary
person, can achieve greatness, including you.
Whenever you’re faced with what seems like an impossible
goal, remember Chris and the more than 16 years of hard
work and determination he put in to reach the Olympics.
He aspired to winning an Olympic gold medal. He felt
the challenge of setting such a goal in his younger life.
Despite not winning gold, setting this goal allowed Chris
to experience incredible achievements. He set a world
record in the 50-meters backstroke that lasted 23 months.
He developed excellent awareness of his limitations
and his strengths, using the opportunity for continual
personal development. The tactics he developed when he
was committed to winning an Olympic gold set him apart
from most people and certainly gave him credible insights
into his personal capability and growth. Waking up his
father at 4.30am to drive him to swim practice, enduring
constant pain from ear infections, training with a broken
wrist, and competing with a broken toe…for what in life
would you do this for?
The word that comes to mind is purpose, which
essentially means why we do things. Chris had a sense
of purpose. When you’ve discovered your sense of
purpose, this can flatten the mountain you need to

climb. Your sense of purpose prepares you for failure as
well. Chris lost many competitions before making it to
the Olympics.
This is true for all ordinary people. We learn. We
practice. We work hard. And even if our eye is on that
promotion, that new job, that new career, life happens,
and we end up not getting it. No gold medal for us either!
However, the real value of striving to reach that
important milestone is not the promotion, the new job,
the top prize, but the learning and special moments that
were acquired throughout the journey. For many of
us, the payoff is a great deal of hard-earned, precious
experience. No one ever told Chris it would be easy.
That message applies to all of us as well.
If you’ve been blessed with a better-than-average
talent with less than optimal resources and training
facilities at your disposal, remember what Nadia said.
To succeed, you need passion, commitment, and
the drive to be better every day. Regardless of your
circumstances, be they good or bad, you can embrace
these three ingredients. Sports teaches a thing or two
about overcoming obstacles, whether you’re starting a
basic fitness routine like a daily walk or you’re getting
ready for your first Iron Man competition.
If you’re feeling alone in this drive for passion and
commitment, remember Nadia saying that while the
coach is important, there’s nothing more important that
your family having your back. Are you doing enough to
recruit family members to get involved no matter how
difficult that may seem?
Conclusion 209
When you lack self-confidence, common enough for

many people, remember what Octavian Bellu had to say
about competition: A top athlete’s greatest opponent is
themselves. Other opponents are also human beings;
they have their limitations and fears as well. Having a
good coach helps you remember basic truths.
The ideas presented herein also demonstrate the need
to have a support group if you’re on the path to greatness.
The notion that successful people achieve great things on
their own is a myth. Nobody can do it alone. You need to
reach out to those people who can help you succeed.
Few people have the privilege of seeing what is behind
the Olympic medals, the losses, and the triumphs. Even
fewer can draw parallels between being an Olympic
swimmer and how each and every one of us can emulate
an Olympian by using the tools of the trade. This stuff is
real, and it works. How much are you prepared to do to
meet your goals?
What Chris achieved was truly significant. Compare
what he has done to the work it would take someone to
earn a high school degree and then graduate from an Ivy
League school in the USA. Now, double it. Treble it. This
is what it takes to get to the Olympics. Yet his genuine
story is the story of an ordinary person.
When I coach people, I can tell them what to do
till I’m blue in the face; what’s missing for my client is
obvious to me. But “telling” is not coaching. Instead, as a
coach, I remind my client of their heroes. I add parallel
stories to what they tell me, about how Chris or some
other leader handled a similar challenge. And then I
ask them: How would you deal with this issue or problem
differently in the future? If I’m lucky, I’ll get a click, a

pause, a moment of reflection. I might even get a smile
or something as direct as: “Ok Paul, I got it.” That’s the
moment I know that my client will aim for their peak
performance zone. In this wonderful moment I know
I’ve made the connection my client needs to address the
issue or problem differently on their own.
The goal of these interviews was to give you
“something to chew on”, to make you pause and click,
but more importantly, it was to tell you a story. A story
of how one ordinary person was able to display demigod
or alien attributes. If Chris could do this, then we can all
do this. We, as ordinary people can do this. Demigods
and aliens need not apply.
You now have the formula. As you contemplate how
to lose weight, start a fitness regime, strive for a work/
life balance, build your mental muscles by reading more
books, get that dream job or promotion, write poetry, or
resolve long-standing conflicts between you and family,
friends or work colleagues, the principles that applied to
Chris can also help you.
Chris’s achievements didn’t happen in a day or a week.
They required constant, undivided discipline, starting
at the young age of 8 till he turned 24. I’ve met other
Olympic athletes who started gymnastics, for example,
at the age of 3. Time is an important factor when it
comes to paving the road to success. Although Chris’s
journey was not easy, it was certainly exhilarating.
Regarding the traits required by an athlete to win
gold, we’ve heard answers from Octavian Bellu and
Nadia Comăneci. In Chris’s experience of competing
Conclusion 211
internationally, the difference between him and a gold

medal winner boiled down to three factors: Firstly, a
stronger body that is, a body that can work harder and
is more resilient. Secondly, a more developed athlete,
by having access to innovation in physical training, diet
and imagery. Thirdly, just a bit more talent.
Chris is one of my heroes. I’m extremely proud
of who he is and what he has become. Because of the
benchmarks he has set with his experience, I’ve learned
and become wiser, too. I can, in turn, share this insight
and wisdom with clients and anyone who aspires to
peak performance.
Chris worked hard to get onto the world stage.
He learned the true meaning of competing and is
wise beyond his years. Perhaps his most gratifying
accomplishment would not have been the medal, but
the journey itself.
In his bestselling biography Steve Jobs, Walter
Isaacson includes an interesting and very emotional
passage at the end of Jobs’s life when he asked Ann
Bowers3 an unusual question:
“Tell me Ann, what was I like was when I was young?”

Bowers was floored. She tried to give an honest
answer.
3 Ann Bowers was the widow of Intel’s cofounder Bob Noyce.

She was Apple’s HR Director who would step in and look after
many staff members in the early 1980s, and was in charge of
reprimanding Jobs after his tantrums and tending to the wounds
of his co-workers.
“You were very impetuous and very difficult. But

your vision was compelling. You told us, ’The journey is
the reward.’ That turned out to be true.”82
The journey is the reward. Let your journey be your

reward. And let your journey start now.
Chris - Reprinted with permission from Ray Renaud, personal

archives.
Please write me at Paul@paul-renaud.com if you

want to be part of my I Feel Good newsletter (GDPR
requirement) and share your thoughts on what you’ve
read here. www.paul-renaud.com
Conclusion 213
Which of the 14 tools or methods will you undertake

starting today?
Reread the sections, choose and enter here as part of
your annual goal setting plan.
They’re not in chronological order and you don’t
need to choose all of them.
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About the author
A native of Aylmer, Quebec, Canada, Paul J.R. Renaud
is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), Networking
specialist, TEDx Speaker, and author. Driven to
help people perform above expectations, he coaches
individuals, teams, and organizations. At the intersection
of doing what he enjoys and what he’s destined to do,
he facilitates complete client transformation while
embracing change.
With a career that spans 35+ years in business, Paul
has worked at senior management and executive levels
and coached multinationals such as Adobe, Bitdefender,
Coca-Cola, Endava, Fokker, Google, ING Bank,
ORTEC, Philips, Toyota, UPS, and other great clients.
He has lived and worked in Asia, South America, North
America, Europe, and Africa.
An energetic communicator, his I Feel Good newsletter

deals with coaching and peak performance. His first
book, A Networking Book, is available on Amazon.com
and Audible.com. He has also written two white papers:
What I’ve Learned from Steve Jobs and Going for Growth:
Generating Top Line Revenues with Marketing. Both are
available at www.paul-renaud.com,
Paul@Paul-Renaud.com
Twitter: @PaulJRRenaud
https://www.linkedin.com/in/pauljrrenaud/
Endnotes
1
Encyclopaedia Britannica. (n.d.). Action at Orléans.
Retrieved from https://www.britannica.com/biography/
Saint-Joan-of-Arc#ref61029
2
The Theoi Project. (n.d.). Zeus. Retrieved from https://
www.theoi.com/Olympios/Zeus.html
3
Encyclopaedia Mythica. (n.d.). Hercales. Retrieved from
https://pantheon.org/articles/h/heracles.html
4
Greek Thesaurus. (n.d.). Olympic Games: The Greek
Gods Creation – Herakles. Retrieved from http://www.
greek-thesaurus.gr/Olympic-games-greek-gods-creation.
html
5
Harari, Y. N. (2011). Sapiens: A Brief History of
Humankind. New York, NY: Harper Perennial.
6
Gladwell, M. (2008). Outliers: The Story of Success.
Boston, MA: Little, Brown and Company, p.37.
7
8
9
10
Covey, S. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People. New York, NY: Free Press. p.10.
11
Dyer, F. L. & Commerford M. T. (1910). Edison: His
Life and Inventions, Vol. 2. New York, NY: Harper &
Brothers. p.615.
12
Boston, MA: Little, Brown and Company, p.38
13
From one of a series of interviews conducted with Chris
Renaud during the period 22.10.2017 to August 12. 2020.
14
Carnegie, D. (1936). How to Win Friends and Influence
people. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
15
Cited in Carnegie, D. (1936). How to Win Friends and
Influence people. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.
16
Cited in Carnegie, D. (1936). How to Win Friends and
Influence people. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.
17
Nightingale E. (1990). Lead the Field. Chicago, IL:
Nightingale Conant. p.32.
18
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-people-
only-use-10-percent-of-their-brains/
19
Pillay, S. (2011). Your Brain and Business: The
Neuroscience of Great Leaders. Upper Saddle River, NJ:
Pearson FT Press.
20
Maltz, M. (2016). Psycho Cybernetics. New York:
Penguin Random House. p.12.
21
Ibid., p.46.
22
23
Ibid., p. 98.
24
Ibid., pp. 98-99.
25
Holiday, R. (2015). The Obstacle is the Way. London,
UK: Profile Books. p.43.
26
Byrne, R. (2006). The Secret. New York, NY: Simon &
Schuster.
27
Ali, M. (1974). World Heavyweight Champion boxer
Muhammad Ali addressing a Nation of Islam meeting
at the New Victoria Theatre in London, December 2.
Endnotes 221
https://www.denverpost.com/2016/06/04/in-his-words-
muhammad-alis-most-famous-quotes/
28
Winfrey, O. (2001). Oprah talks to Muhammad Ali.
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/oprah-talks-to-
muhammad-ali_1/all
29
Time Magazine. (1999). TIME 100 persons of the
century. http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/
0,9171,26473,00.html
30
CNN. (1999). Sports Illustrated honors world’s greatest
athletes. https://web.archive.org/web/20110819000437/
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/features/cover/
news/1999/12/02/awards/
31
ESPN. (2005). Bush presents Ali with Presidential
Medal of Freedom. https://www.espn.com/sports/boxing/
news/story?id=2219166
32
Biography.com. (2020). Bethany Hamilton. Retrieved
from https://www.biography.com/athlete/bethany-hamilton
33
Renton J. (2009), Coaching and Mentoring, London,
The Economist Newspaper ltd, p.37.
34
Renaud, P. (2016). Define the word ‘mentor’.
Interview with Bob Henson. www.youtube.com/
watch?v=ecZmpi3vTis and www.paul-renaud.com/define-
the-word-mentor-bob-henson/
35
Travelers Century Club. (2019). Countries and
Territories. Retrieved from https://travelerscenturyclub.
org/countries-and-territories
36
Lencioni, P. (2002). The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. San
Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
37
Ibid.
38
Ibid.
39
40
41
Clemson Extension. (1997). Stress Management for the
Health of It. Retrieved from http://nasdonline.org/1445/
d001245/stress-management-for-the-health-of-it.html
42
JAOA. (1993). Job stress costs €200 billion annually
in the United States alone. The Journal of the American
Osteopathic Association 93:570. Retrieved from https://
jaoa.org/article.aspx?articleid=2710935
43
Lindlahr, V. (1942). You Are What You Eat: How to Win
and Keep Health with your Diet. https://www.phrases.org.
uk/meanings/you-are-what-you-eat.html
44
Pearson FT Press. p.168.
45
https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/got-
60-minutes-for-a-nap-how-about-6
46
Healthline. (n.d.). Timing your coffee intake and naps.
Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/
coffee-nap#timing
47
Kickresume. (n.d.). These 7 companies encourage
sleeping on the job. But why? https://blog.kickresume.
com/2018/09/10/these-7-companies-encourage-sleeping-
on-the-job-but-why/
48
WedMD. (n.d.). Exercise and Depression. Retrieved
from https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-
depression#1
49
50
Isaacson, W. (2001). Steve Jobs. New York, NY: Simon
& Schuster, p. 275.
51
Cited in Dudovskiy, J. (2019). IKEA Leadership:
Endnotes 223
Effective application of leading by example. https://

research-methodology.net/ikea-leadership-effective-
application-leading-example/
52
World Record Academy. (n.d.) Most successful world
coach record set by Octavian Bellu. Retrieved from:http://
www.worldrecordacademy.com/sports/most_successful_
coach_world_record_set_by_Octavian_Bellu_70940.htm
53
http://www.worldrecordacademy.org/world-records/
sports/most-successful-coaches-duo-world-record-set-by-
mariana-bitang-and-octavian-bellu-220624
54
All quoted text in this section came from an interview
with Octavian Bellu on February 4, 2020.
55
Swimming Canada. (n.d.). Deryk Snelling. Retrieved
from https://www.swimming.ca/en/deryk-snelling/
56
Harris, S. J. (1951 January 5). Syd Cannot Stand
Christmas Neckties. Akron Beacon Journal, p. 6. Cited in
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2018/02/01/regret/
57
Higashida, N. (2007). The Reason I Jump. New York,
NY: Penguin Random House.
58
Kosaka, K. (2017). ‘Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8’:
‘The Reason I Jump’ author returns with new English
collection. Japan Times. Retrieved from https://www.
japantimes.co.jp/culture/2017/07/08/books/book-reviews/
fall-7-times-get-8-reason-jump-author-returns-new-
english-collection/
59
Higashida, N. (2017). Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8.
New York, NY: Random House.
60
Kosaka, K. (2017). ‘Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8’:
‘The Reason I Jump’ author returns with new English
collection. Japan Times. Retrieved from https://www.
japantimes.co.jp/culture/2017/07/08/books/book-reviews/
fall-7-times-get-8-reason-jump-author-returns-new-
english-collection/
61
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Major_League_
Baseball_career_home_run_leaders
62
Kaufman, G. (2020). Strikeouts have rocketed since
Babe Ruth. Retrieved from https://howtheyplay.com/team-
sports/strikeouts-have-skyrocketed-since-Babe-Ruth
63
Asghar, B. (2014). Permission to fail: Leadership lessons
from Babe Ruth. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/
sites/robasghar/2014/06/17/permission-to-fail-leadership-
lessons-from-babe-ruths-bat/#8fe3d6044b26
64
65
Boston, MA: Little, Brown and Company. pp.150-151.
66
Penguin Random House, p.80.
67
68
Maltz, M. (2016). Psycho-Cybernetics. The Deluxe
Edition. London: Penguin. p. 81.
69
Pearson FT Press. p.1.
70
Pink, D.H. (2009). Drive: The Surprising Truth about
what Motivates Us. New York, NY: Canongate Books,
p.156.
71
MDA. (n.d.). In loving memory of Jerry Lewis. Retrieved
from https://strongly.mda.org/in-loving-memory-of-jerry-
lewis/
72
Ibid.
73
People. New York, NY: Free Press. Habit #1: Be proactive.
Endnotes 225
74
Nightingale, E. (2007). Lead the Field. Hawthorne, CA:
BN Publishing.
75
Herbert, F. (1965). Dune. Philadelphia, PA: Chilton
Company.
76
Pearson FT Press, p.33
77
McGraw, P. (n.d.). https://www.imdb.com/name/
nm1114695/bio
78
Maltz, M. (2016). Psycho Cybernetics. New York,
79
Pearson FT Press.
80
Overman, S.J. & Boyer Sagert, K. (2012). Icons of
Women’s Sports Vol. 1.Santa Barbara, CA: Greenwood.
p.100.
81
All quoted text in this section came from an interview
with Nadia Comaneci on February 4, 2020.
82
Isaacson, W. (2011). Steve Jobs. New York: Simon and
Schuster, p.537.
ALSO BY PAUL RENAUD
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM
“Networking is absolutely essential to success in virtually any

field, and there is no more trustworthy advisor on the topic
than Paul Renaud. All of us can learn from Paul’s experience
and advice; that he makes it a fun read is a terrific bonus.”
Marshall Goldsmith
Author or editor of 42 books including the New York Times and
global bestseller ‘What Got You Here Won’t Get You There’

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What Business leaders have to say

about Demigods, Aliens, and Ordinary

“In his newest book, Paul offers a creative look at three

“I recommend the book for its easiness to read, wittiness

“With his personal experience in international business

“Paul’s passion, skills, and experience as an executive coach

“Paul’s stories are reachable and relatable. I found his stories

“A wise man once said – if you do not know how to handle

“Paul has done a masterful job of weaving firsthand

“This engaging book makes a fascinating connection

PAUL J.R. RENAUD

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be

Illustrations © 2021 ITwebmedia.ro

Part 2 The Tools and Methods: Ready to Test Drive? 35

This book is the result of a collaborative effort by the

DTP expert Liviu Rusu who delivered great, easy-to-read

In Greek mythology, Mentor was a friend who Odysseus

My heart stopped. To have someone like George

kept in touch over the years. He’d give me advice and

with the people that surround me. His guidance, charm,

I notice people. I’m a people person. There’s something

and discovering a new passion to help people grow in their

reap the benefits and become a role model or get the

Olympians: Heroes of Past and Present

Any good sports coach will advise warming up and

principal figures, there were other residents of Mount

Rarely used in the Ancient world, the term

Greek poets Homer and Hesiod both describe their dead

The mystique here is that although we will never know

We no longer worship the Olympian deities as the

Tragedy unfolds when, driven mad by Hera, Heracles

to a wrestling match. The battle raged for hours until

Aristotle, Hypatia, Avicenna, Leonardo da Vinci,

To grasp the greatness of these aliens, it’s wise to

“6 million years ago, a single female ape had 2

It seems that as a species, for whatever reason, we’ve

Their impact was not only felt or linked to the people or

community had recently perished in a fire. When I added

Demigods are heroes, leaders, revolutionaries of their

that in some way these people were neither demigods nor

are a prime example of people who reached their pinnacle

but they have to put in the time. There are no shortcuts.

theory of course – if they come from another planet,

Every two years, when I watch an Olympics – either the

so hard for so many years to prepare. This global event

The lifeguard, a fellow called Mike Saunders, jumped

In those early days, Chris tried many sports: Basketball,

Chris didn’t get off to a good start when it came

Monday Wednesday Friday

P – poor; G – good; VG – very good.

This gave him a visual view of where/when he didn’t

bank president who monitored his performance and

“Each evening I opened my engagement book, and

Just like Chris, Carnegie’s Wall Street bank executive

But Chris, at 14, still wasn’t taking training very

heats he had a very good race and went on to the finals

1. Stay at the Cascade Swim Club, which was more of

He chose the second option. There was no smooth

Goal setting means a lot of things to a lot of people. To

your spouse or your kids or your parents, but to YOU.

1. Setting goals works. I’ve read books by and bios

6. Goals add order to your personal life or life

Wanting to be a good parent, although an admirable

“As a parent, I will be happy when my daughter has

1. Setting goals works. I’ve read books by and bios

6. Goals add order to your personal life or life

1. F ind the time to just sit and think about your

10. Reward yourself when you reach a goal. Buy

• Is there a lack of accountability on your part to

hese questions will help you formulate and recall

1. Change your current habits of doubt and worry,

1. You must believe that imagery works because, well,

2. People spend too much time trying to understand

1. Given what you’ve read about imagery, what are

1. Picture your most cherished hero in your mind.