Paisa Hindi movie

By jagadish

Scene 1

Manoj bajpayee : narad muni ki jai , bahut din huye aapse mile bina

Arshad warsi : bahut udas baithe huye ho, kya hua

Manoj bajpayee : aapko malum hona hain ki main kuber hun aur mere paas paisa nahi hain

Arshad warsi : malum hain , isliye milne aya hu , ki kuber ke paas paisa kyon nahi hain

Manoj bajpayee : main Budda ho gaya hun aur maine sare paise gava diye

Arshad warsi : kaam

Manoj bajpayee : kuch saal pehle chod diya tha , socha ki paise se apni zindagi bitaunga

Arshad warsi : paisa gavaya aur paisa ikhata bhi nahi kiya aur gumshuda

Manoj bajpayee : main bhul gaya tha ki paisa kuch shano ke liye hota hain

Arshad warsi : substitute paisa with paisa

Manoj bajpayee : nahi kiya , baith gaya isliye laxmi mate ke paas jana hain , kuch milega

Arshad warsi : laxmi mate bahut dayalu mate hain , who jaroor apki sahayta karegi

Manoj bajpayee : yahi aas lagaye main ja raha hun unke pass

Arshad warsi : kuch dene ja rahe hain ya kuch lene ki baat karke chale jane ki cheshta

Manoj bajpayee : yeh duniya len den se banti hain l, isliye kuch de hi raha hun

Arshad warsi : aapke paas ab bacha kya jo mate khush ho jayegi

Manoj bajpayee : guru dakshina knowledge

Arshad warsi : laxmi mate ke paas saraswathi ka gyaan , avashya , kya sikhlane ki koshish

Manoj bajpayee : paisa kabhi tikta hi nahi hain kisi manushya ke liye

Arshad warsi : wah wah. Aage

Manoj bajpayee : paisa tabhi tikta hain , jab log dusro ki bhalayi ke bare mein sochte hain

Arshad warsi : thankyou, who baat to theek hain , main sehmati deta hun

Manoj bajpayee : to main chloo , bahut door prayan karna hain , kya milega kuch nahi janta

Arshad warsi : jaroor , main bhi ab chalta hun , aapki samasya hal karne ke liye

Manoj bajpayee : mere paas paise nahi hain aapko le jane ke liye sorry
Arshad warsi : khud ka paisa hain , main kisi ke saamne jhukta nahi , swabhimani hun

Manoj bajpayee : phir to chaliye main ab budda nihata ho chukka , kuch sikhlane ki koshish

Arshad warsi : main bhi kuch seekhoonga , chaliye laxmi maate ke dwaar hamesha khule hote hain

Scene 2

Vidya balan : kuber ki jai , yaha ane ka karan

Manoj bajpayee : bhikari ko sharan chahiye

Vidya balan : aisi vipda aapko huye , khed hain

Manoj bajpayee : saare paise gava chukka

Vidya balan : kaise

Manoj bajpayee : hyper inflation

Vidya balan : mere yah ape bhi chal raha hain , par kaise
Manoj bajpayee : maine passive income lene se inkaar kar diya tha, socha tha jo kuch bhi paisa hain ,
kafi hain , par malum nahi tha ki duividha brahma is taraf se mujhe sharmindgi mein dalenge

Vidya balan : brahma ne kya kiya

Manoj bajpayee : maine apne bacho se panga liya aur sharan mein brahma se milne gaya to brahma
ne updesh diya ki paiso ka aagman rok do to bache sudhar jayenge, maine waisa hi kiya ulta mera
sara paisa lekar bache chale gaye aur main kisi ko bhi rok nahi saka , sara paisa gumshuda aur kuch
bhi investment nahi kiya apne upar to paisa ayega bhi nahi aur jab ayega hi nahi paisa mere naseeb
maine to main bhikari ban hi jaunga kisi an kisi di

Vidya balan : aapke khate mein ab paisa kitna hain

Manoj bajpayee ; teen lakh

Vidya balan : bas

Manoj bajpayee : biwi chod ke chali gayi , gareeb insaan hoon , khana banana nahi ata to khareedne
chal pada , paisa lutta diya , ab main apki sharan mein aya hoon , kya karoo
Vidya balan : aids ka zamana hain , doosri shaadi ka updesh nahi de sakti hi hoon , apne biwi se
samjhauta karna hi kudrat ka niyam hain

Manoj bajpayee : asee saal hain uske khate mein , kabhi na kabhi to gujar hi jayegi

Vidya balan : oh !!!!!

Manoj bajpayee : main apne parivar se door jana chahta hoon , budape mein kisi ne na dekhne ki
thaan li hian , khuddari hain , apne pairo pe khada hona chahta hoon aur kuch nahi chahne ki iccha

Vidya balan : umr

Manoj bajpayee : nabe saal

Vidya balan : to aap yeh kaam karenge

Manoj bajpayee ; boliye

Vidya balan :Vishnu se puchiye upay apna kissa dohra ke , shayad kuch upay mil jaye

Manoj bajpayee ; beshak ,shukriya

Vidya balan : theek hain main iktilah kar deti hoon aapke aagman ka , bye

Manoj bajpayee : shukriya , Vishnu se jarror milna tha apni takdeer se khel chukka , dekhta hoon kya
mamla sulajhta Hain, bye

Scene 3

Manoj bajpayee : Vishnu ki jai

Akshay kumar : kaise ana hua , humare dwaar har samay aapke liye khule hain

Manoj bajpayee : laxmi ne bheja hain aapke dwaar

Akshay kumar : suna hain aapke paise gumshuda aur aapke bete nalayak sabit huye

Manoj bajpayee : shiva ne kaha tha ki meri ayu sattar saal ki hogi , par pata chal raha hain ki main
nabe saal tak jee chukka , sara paisa waise bhi beto ko jayega karke maine manmani karke satar saal
se pehle hi gavane ki sochi , ab bhugut raha hoon ki nabe saal mein paise chahiye hain hi nahi ab
mere paas

Akshay kumar : ayu aapki nabe saal ki aur maut ki ghanti bajne ko this sattar saal mein aur galti se
aapki ayu ghata di aapke shiva ne jaanbujhkar ya aise hi without mistake

Manoj bajpayee : nahi pata

Akshay kumar : to pata lagayiye aapka virodhi kaun hain

Manoj bajpayee : mera nuksaan shiva kyon karenge , main to kisi se milta hi nahi

Akshay kumar :shiva paiso ka bhukha hain aur jalte honge aapke paiso se , aap kuber jo hain

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!! paisa

Akshay kumar : haa , isliye kehte hain jo paiso ki ginti karte hain unhe bhikari ke dwaar kabhi
khatkhatane ka nahi , dhajiye de jate hain log , akalmand log paiso ki ginti paiso wale se hi karni
chahiye tabhi paisa barkarar rehta hain

Manoj bajpayee : bhikari ke paas gaya tha , nuksaan ho gaya , ab main kya karoo

Akshay kumar : kaam kariye , pustake le jayiye hamare dwaar se aur kamayiye paisa khushi se

Manoj bajpayee : muft mein pustake mil sakti hain

Akshay kuamar : paiso ki keemat wohi jaan sakta hain jo pustako kit ulna paiso se ki jaye to isliye
muft mein paise aur muft mein pustake andhkaar la sakta hain , paisa jo bhi hain deejiye aur pustake
lekar ke aaram se kamane ki koshish kariye tabhi aap bach sakte hain is upay ke liye bees hazaar
rupay

Manoj bajpayee : bees hazaar nakad , shukriya

Akshay kumar : paisa bacha kar rakhiyega , ek baar haath se gayi to phir dobara nahi a sakta

Manoj bajpayee : jaroor amal karoonga , mafi is baar

Akshay kumar : paisa aapke paas jyada nahi hain , isliye kum pustake lijiye jo aapke kaam a sake

Manoj bajpayee : jaroor

Akshay kumar : shiva se jarror miliyega , kya pata bhikari ko bhi kuch batane ka mauka mil jaye

Manoj bajpaye : ek daali ke phool hain hum , jaroor miloonga

Akshay kumar : acha phir milenge

Manoj bajpayee : main chalta hoon shiva se milne , bye

Akshay kumar : avashya

Scene 4

Salman khan : kuber aaj krodit dikh rahe hain , kya baat hain

Manoj bajpayee : mere sara paisa japt ho gaya aapke wajah se

Salman khan :oh !!!! consultation

Manoj bajpayee : haa

Salman khan : paiso ke bare mein consultation

Manoj bajpayee :aapne kaha ki bacho ko paise dijiye , aapki baat man kar brahma ne bhi yahi ray di

Salman khan : to aapko consultation pasand nahi aya

Manoj bajpaye : nahi aya , ab aur ek consultation dijiye ki bina paiso ke main kya karoo

Salman khan : Vishnu ke paas to gaye honge kyonki bina laxmi mile chain ayega bhi nahi aapko

Manoj bajpayee : gaya tha Vishnu ke paas aur pustake thama ke bees hazaar ki rakm bhi puch liya

Salman khan :bhaiyjaan , hum shaadi shuda log ghar chalana chahte hain rakm to puchenge

Manoj bajpayee : bina paise ke reh nahi sakte

Salman khan ; aap reh sake

Manoj bajpayee : chaha to tha par umr beet gayi , marna tha , abhi tak zinda hoon

Salman khan : oh !!!!

Manoj bajpayee : is umr mein padayi, maine to socha hi nahi tha

Salman khan : khana chahiye to muft mein koi bikta bhi nahi hain , padna to padega

Manoj bajpayee : doosra koi samadhan

Salman khan : be a consultant

Manoj bajpayee : who kyon

Salman khan : sab black money chalta hain isliye bachne ka sadhan agar chahiye to consultant ban ke
jab paisa biwi puchti hain tabhi kaam par lag jayiye apne aap paisa white money banega istemaal
karke chain ki neend soyiye

Manoj bajpayee ; meri biwi se talakhnama ho gaya paisa nahi hain , biwi bhi nahi

Salman khan : oh !!!!!

Manoj bajpayee : har samay jab kaam chahiye to kaam deta kaun hain aapko aur white money kaise

Salman khan : phd

Manoj bajpayee : oh creation to theek hain self independent , is tareeke se to sab job oriented

Salman khan : being dependent is heinous crime

Manoj bajpayee : malum hain , jab aapko paisa chahiye tab koi nahi deta , jab kisi ko aapse kaam ho
tabhi paisa milta hain , aur har samay aapko paisa chahiye doosro ko nahi to bhookh kaise mitaye

Salman khan :excellent $$$$

Manoj bajpayee : Parvathi se milta hoon , pata to chale ki paiso ka who karti kya hain

Salman khan : beshak , bye

Manoj bajpayee : Parvathi ki jai

Salman khan : Parvathi ki jai

Scene 5

Manoj bajpayee : Parvathi mata ki jai

Madhuri dixit : kuber ki jai, suna hain aap kisi vipda mein phas gaye hain

Manoj bajpayee : mere saare paise mere beto ne japt kar liya

Madhuri dixit : passive income

Manoj bajpayee : main stupid , socha tha sattar saal mein gujar jaunga , chod diya

Madhuri dixit : wapas lene ki koshish

Manoj bajpayee : again stupid , sochte reh gaya ki bacho ko dena padega mauka , guse par kaboo
nahi hain , bacho se ghruna , bhugat raha hoon ,

Madhuri dixit : aage ki ran neeti

Manoj bajpayee : bacho se ghruna thi , to biwi bhi chal di apne mayke , akela reh raha hoon , khan
nahi , neend ud gayi , bahut dukhad avastha mein main aapke paas aya hun

Madhuri dixit : hum dono to consultation karte hain , passive income to dekha hi nahi , black money
se dar lagta hain , to phd karne baith gaye, jo bhi rakm ati hain , land mein invest kar dete hain

Manoj bajpayee : itne saalo se land mein investment , bhool nahi jate kya khareeda kya nahi

Madhuri dixit : bachne ke liye food is important , main who hi long term investment karti hun

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!! short term contracts on food

Madhuri dixit : nahi lump sum transfers long term contracts cum short term paiso ke balbute par

Manoj bajpayee : aur ghar

Madhuri dixit : aap dekh hi rahe hain , chota sa aashyana , ek hi bacha abhi tak aur short term
contracts for food

Manoj bajpayee : doosra bacha

Madhuri dixit : vilayat , bhejta rehta hain paisa

Manoj bajpayee : paida kaisa hua yeh doosra bacha aapka

Madhuri dixit : bada beta ganesh ,

Manoj bajpayee : haa !!!!!

Madhuri dixit : 7 chakras of human beings

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!! bahut naam suna hain uska , kabhi milna

Madhuri dixit : jaroor

Manoj bajpayee : brahma se milna hain , mujhe agya dijiye chalna hain bahut door

Madhuri dixit :jaroor , ghar aye hain kuch phal kha kar jayiye

Manoj bajpayee : raste mein main kha lunga

Madhuri dixit : jaisi aapki marzi

Manoj bajpayee ; acha chalta hoon ,shukriya

Madhuri dixit ; shukriya

Scene 6

Amir khan : bude kuber ki jai

Manoj bajpayee : aap ne kaise bata diya ki main satar saal ki umr mein gujrunga

Amir khan : gussa abhi tak nahi utra

Manoj bajpayee : kaise utrega jab itni badi ayu de di mujhe

Amir khan : dekh chukka aapki ayu abhi tak shesh hain

Manoj bajpayee : yeh kaise ho gaya possible

Amir khan : aapke dushman gujar gaye aapse pehle isliye yeh sambhav hua

Manoj bajpayee : to aap kuch predict hi nahi kar sakte kisi ke bare mein

Amir khan : haa jab jan sankhya had se bad jaye to predict karna mushkil ka kaam hain

Manoj bajpayee : to aap karte kya hain is shanka ko dur karne ke liye

Amir khan : parlay bhejta hun aur jan sankhya kum karne ki koshish mein jut jata hun

Manoj bajpayee : to ab meri ayu kitni hain marne ke liye

Amir khan : parlay bhej raha hoon tabhi pata chalegi

Manoj bajpayee : itni badi jan sankhya apne kaise bhej di

Amir khan : shiva ne apna kaam nahi kiya aur phd laga di

Manoj bajpayee : to isse aap ka kya talukat

Amir khan : teeno mile to duniya bach sakti hain

Manoj bajpayee : aap to pralay bhej rahe hain , isse to nuksaan hain , fayda kiska

Amir khan : pashu pakshi ka vikas

Manoj bajpayee : manav jaati

Amir khan : duniya ek se nahi chalti kuber ji , jab maine dharti ka nirman kiya to maine pashu pakshi
ka astitva bhi banaya hain , main ek manav jati par nirbhar nahi hota , pura vikas shetra mein sab ka
yogdaan hota hain aur hona chahiye tabhi use bhu mate ke naam se jana jayega

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!!!

Amir khan : waise bhi humare dwaar aye hain to hamari srimati se mil ke jayiyega , aap se milne ki
utsukta usko bhi hain

Manoj bajpayee : budo ko dekhna aurato ka swabhagya hain , jaroor

Amir khan : thank you

Manoj bajpayee : acha to main chalta hoon

Amir khan : bye

Scene 7

Manoj bajpayee : saraswathi ko pranaam

Juhi Chawla : pranaam

Manoj bajapyee : main ek vipad avastha mein pad gaya hoon

Juhi Chawla : boliye

Manoj bajpayee : main padna nahi chahta itne sare pustake jo Vishnu ne mujhe saump diye hain

Juhi Chawla : upay chahiye mamla se hat jane ka

Manoj bajpayee : haa

Juhi Chawla : khana banana seekhiye

Manoj bajpayee : who kyon

Juhi Chawla : jo log padayi na karte hain we bhi khush hain is duniya mein kyonki unko khana banana
ata hain

Manoj bajpaye : khana banakar ke mein kya karoonga

Juhi Chawla : phd

Manoj bajpayee : oh to phd se mein ameer ban sakta hoon khana seekh kar
Juhi Chawla : har ek ki pehli takleef bhookh hain na ki pustako ka ghamand , jo bhookh mita sakte
hain we pustako se door hi rehte hain

Manoj bajpayee : to pustako ki avashyakta hi nahi hain

Juhi Chawla : apna chawal apna khet kaise bach sakte hon iske vipreet janne ki koshish bekaar hain

Manoj bajpayee : basic of agriculture

Juhi Chawla : aap buddhe ho chuke isliye aapko pustake venom sa lagega isliye yeh salaah

Manoj bajpayee : pustako mein mujhe dhyaan lagana padega

Juhi Chawla : haa

Manoj bajpayee : beej bone ka tareeka surya dev se seekh leta hoon , thankyou

Juhi Chawla : surya lok ja rahe hain kuber ji

Manoj bajpayee : haaa, thank you for advice

Juhi Chawla : its my pleasure

Manoj bajpayee : bye

Juhi Chawla : bye

Scene 8

Manoj bajpayee : surya dev ki jai

Anil Kapoor : kuber ki jai

Manoj bajpayee : aapko mera ana pasand nahi hain

Anil Kapoor : aapne apna kaam nahi kiya , dharti bhugat rahi hain ,
Manoj bajpayee : rest lene ke chakar mein maine sara paisa gava diya

Anil Kapoor : apne bacho par ghruna thi to back up plane passive incme bhi gava chuke

Manoj bajpayee : main apne bacho se pyaar nahi karta

Anil Kapoor : shaadi compulsory hain , ,main is par updesh nahi de sakta

Manoj bajpayee : meri biwi ne samjhaya tha , maine amal nahi ki

Anil Kapoor : biwi aur bacho se ghruna , understood not just children

Manoj bajpayee : main bhi kuch nahi kar sakta ,budha ho chukka , kuch to maafi

Anil Kapoor : kaisi mafi, whole administration collaboration ke upar mein chalti hain

Manoj bajpayee : main nahi bhula hoon par meri strategic department mein main akela kaam karta
hoon

Anil Kapoor : who kaise

Manoj bajpayee : sabko aajkal paisa chaiye kaam karne ke liye aur mere pass paisa nahi hain

Anil Kapoor : kuch saal pehle

Manoj bajpayee : lethargic

Anil Kapoor : aisa kahiye aap ko kaam se nafrat hain , retirement kyon nahi li

Manoj bajpayee : main kaam karna chahta hoon , bete kyon

Anil Kapoor : nabe saal abhi tak kursi nahi chodi

Manoj bajpayee : nahi , aane wali peedi mere gujarne ke baad ayegi sambhalne ke liye

Anil Kapoor : aur duniya ka kya hoga , yeh aapne kabhi nahi socha

Manoj bajpayee : agar aap batana nahi chahte to main vayu dev se puch loonga

Anil Kapoor : jaroor , vayu dev ko amantran karo , main vishraam karna chahta hoon kuch ghanto ke
liye

Manoj bajpaye : thank you

Anil Kapoor : bye

Scene 9

John Abraham : kuber ji ki jai

Manoj bajpayee : vayu dev ki jai

John Abraham : surya dev gusse dikh rahe hain , kya hua

Manoj bajpayee : maine galti kar di

John Abraham : who kya

Manoj bajpayee : maine apna netratva puri tarah zimmedari se nahi ki

John Abraham : aap bude dikh rahe hain umr

Manoj bajpayee : nabee

John Abraham : bache

Manoj bajpaye : haa hain ek nahi chaar

John Abraham : aapko to khush hona chahiye ki aapko sambhalne aur apaka kaam batane ke liye
chaar hain

Manoj bajpaye : main unse ghruna karta hun

John Abraham : kyon

Manoj bajpayee : kyonki who mere se bhi bade vidwaan hain

John Abraham : aap se bhi badkar in managing money

Manoj bajpayee : haa

John Abraham : to aap netratva apne bacho ko kyon nahi saumpte

Manoj bajpayee : mere marne ke baad

John Abraham :aap marenge kab

Manoj bajpayee : nahi pata

John Abraham : aapne experience bhi dena nahi seekha apne bacho ko aapke hote huye

Manoj bajpayee : main purine zamane ka khiladi

John Abraham : agar ladke bigad gaye to

Manoj bajpayee : to kya karne ka

John Abraham : jab aap rahenge bhi nahi to jaan ke kya karna

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!! kya main hanuman se mashuvrah le sakta hoon

John Abraham : jee avashyak

Manoj bajpayee : thank you

John Abraham : bye

Scene 10

Sanjay dutt : kuber ji ko pranam

Manoj bajpayee : hanuman ki jai , sab kushal mangal

Sanjay dutt : apni batayiye, main to yahi ka wasi hoon

Manoj bajpayee : Vishnu se baat huyi thi , mere sare paise mere bete lekar chale gaye , ab main
nihatha kaam ki khoj mein nikla to pustake haath mein thama kar chal diye devtao ke pujneeya

Sanjay dutt : who to achi baat hain , main to hun hi akela , kya chahte hain mujhse aap hi farmayiye

Manoj bajpayee : kuch aisa upay jisse mera paisa dugna ho jaye aur mujhe in purstako se lagav nahi
ana chahiye , aisa kuch vardaan dijiye

Sanjay dutt : vardaan bole to consultation

Manoj bajpaye : haa

Sanjay dutt : use vocal chords muh se kuch aisi vani nikaliye jisse aap bhi khush aur dusre bhi khush

Manoj bajpayee : kaam muh se aur paisa dugna

Sanjay dutt : main to yahi kaam karta hu, aapki tarah main bhi budaa ho chukka aur kuch kaam nahi
mila to muh ki vani se kaam chala le raha hoon

Manoj bajpayee : aur yahi salah aapne mujhe saump di

Sanjay dutt : jisko jo aata hain wohi to batlata hain , age

Manoj bajpayee : is umr mein kamayi , sharmindgi ati hain , itna paisa tha ki kaam karna shobha nahi
deta

Sanjay dutt : hum to sochte bhi nahi , na hamare koi bache hain na biwi , kisi se bhi pucho kamana
padega nahi to jiyoge kaise ki shiksha pradaan kar di , raam ka bhakt hun samajh gaya ki jeena ka
naam hi bhagwar raam ka naam ujwal karna , to chal pada ram ka naam, liya aur kaam kar raha hoon

Manoj bajpayee : thank you for advice

Sanjay dutt : aapne English kaise seekhi

Manoj bajpayee : jab paisa tha to uska istemal kar diya

Sanjay dutt : samajhdar

Manoj bajpayee : yaha se indra lok kitni doori pe hain

Sanjay dutt : kuch teen ghante ka raasta

Manoj bajpayee : acha to main chalta hoon

Sanjay dutt : indralok ke liye prasthaan

Manoj bajpayee : haa , is dukhad avastha mein kuch updesh mil jaye to saubhagya

Sanjay dutt : jaisi aapki soch

Manoj bajpayee : achaa to main chalta hoon , thank you

Sanjay dutt ; bye

Scene 11

Manoj bajpayee : indra dev ki jai

Shahrukh khan : indra dev bhavan mein aapka swagat hain

Manoj bajpayee : aate samay dekh raha tha ki aapka raasta bahut teedi medi se banaya hain

Shahrukh khan : wars

Manoj bajpayee ; aap paisa warfare ki madad se kamate hain

Shahrukh khan : nahi asuro ke bure vyavhaar se

Manoj bajpayee ; main samjha nahi

Shahrukh khan : hamari kamayi partnership se hoti hain na ki warfare , hum jaha bhi jate hain logo
ka swabhav hain ki humse dosti kare , is dosti ko badane ke liye hum diplomacy karte hain jo asuro
ko pasand nahi ata to hum par war declare kar dete hain

Manoj bajpayee ; partnership

Shahrukh khan : haaa

Manoj bajpayee : partnership karne ke kuch asaan tareeke , hum bhi paisa kamane ki zid mein hain

Shahrukh khan : jaise ki aapko pata hain ki hum sab ab bude ho rahe hain , jab bhi bhi hum
partnership karte hain budape ki avastha ko darsha ka partnership ka contract sign karte hain

Isse hum bhi khush aur unko bhi pata chal jata hain ki kitni der tak hamse dosti kar sake

Manoj bajpayee : yeh unko ka matlab

Shahrukh khan : agni , varun , ityadi log hamare dost

Manoj bajpayee : we aapke angrakshak nahi hain

Shahrukh khan : nahi dosto ki list

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!!

Shahrukh khan : to aap janna chahenge ki mere angrakshak kaun hain

Manoj bajpayee : beshak , agar aap batana chahte hain to

Shahrukh khan : mera mahal aur mera parivar

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!! to aapke hisab se aapki shaadi ho to aap bache nahi to mare gaye

Shahrukh khan : haa

Manoj bajpayee : to aapki beti ki shaadi ho rahi hain

Shahrukh khan : haa !!!! karna padta hain

Manoj bajpayee : kya main mil sakta hoon aapke son in law se

Shahrukh khan : beshak

Manoj bajpayee : agar mujhe gyat ho to aapki beti ki shaadi kartikeyan se ho rahi hain

Shahrukh khan :¨theek farmaya kisse milna chahenge pehle beti se ya beta se

Manoj bajpayee : dono aap ke chahete, ghruna ho rahi hain aapko dekhkar

Shahrukh khan : jab aap unse milenge to who to bhool jayenge

Manoj bajpayee : aaapke muh mein ghee shaker , chalta hoon unse milne

Shahrukh khan : pehle yeh to batate jayiye kisse milenge pehle

Manoj bajpayee ; kartikeyan

Shahrukh khan : beshak

Manoj bajpayee : to main chaloo

Shahrukh khan : bye

Scene 12

Manoj bajapayee : kartikeyan chiranjeevi

Ranbir Kapoor : Namaste kuber maharaj

Manoj bajpayee : main ab maharaj ke yog nahi raha

Ranbir Kapoor : suna hain ki aapko apne beto se ghruna hain

Manoj bajpayee : haa

Ranbir Kapoor : aisa kyon, who to aapke bete hain paraye thode hi na hain

Manoj bajpayee : mera baap banne ki koshish

Ranbir Kapoor : to kya hua , kabhi na kabhi to atmnirbhar hona hi to hain aap thode hi na permanent

Manoj bajpayee : main aisa nahi sochta aap logo ki tarah , purane zamane ka maharathi

Ranbir Kapoor : oh!!!!

Manoj bajpayee : aap meri jagah hote to kya karte

Ranbir Kapoor : tourism lesson , zindagi kaise katni chahiye par ek lecture and pragmatism

Manoj bajpayee : that was clever

Ranbir Kapoor : beshak

Manoj bajpayee : aap ne sochi kaise

Ranbir Kapoor :concern

Manoj bajpayee : pehle thi mere ko bhi concern for children

Ranbir Kapoor : aage chalke kya hua

Manoj bajpayee : vad vivaad hote hote we mere se bhi age nikal gaye mujhe ghruna ho gayi unhe
dekhkar

Ranbir Kapoor : maine to apni baat kar li , aage jakar ladki ki shikayat sunege to mein apni patni ko
bula let ahu

Manoj bajpayee : aapki hone wali biwi

Ranbir Kapoor : haa

Manoj bajpayee : beshak , unki tarafdari bhi seekh loonga , waise bhi apki rai bahut nirali thi

Ranbir Kapoor : thank you , to chal doo

Manoj bajpayee : besahk , thank you

Ranbir Kapoor : its pleasure

Scene 13

Manoj bajpayee : devasena ki jai

Katrina kaif : kuber dadaji ko namaskar

Manoj bajpayee : aapke pati dev se mil kar a raha hoon

Katrina kaif : oh !!!! aapke ane ka karan

Manoj bajpayee : aapse mashuvarah lena tha paiso ke bare main

Katrina kaif : soch samajh ke shaadi karne ka netratva

Manoj bajpayee : batayiye

Katrina kaif : kabhi bhi aapka pati fisal sakta hain , isliye kam se kam aapko tayar hona chahiye ghar
grahasti apne kandho par chalane ka experience , agar nahi ho aur dar lagta hain to postpone karke
jab kabliyat ho tabhi shaadi ko sweekar karna ladki ki fidrat mein honi chahiye

Manoj bajpaye : oh !!!! minimum qualification

Katrina kaif : post graduation in business

Manoj bajpayee : aisa kyon

Katrina kaif : jab aap shaadi karte hain to bacha dekhna padta hain aur kuch saal tak aapko bacha
dekhte dekhte umr beet jati hain , company aapko kabhi bhi kaam nahi de sakta agar degar to kuch
saalo tak isliye business set up kar do to puri zindagi aamdani aur pura hoga aapka uddeshj isliye
mba compulsory agar aapke paas paisa nahi ho to

Manoj bajpayee : agar aapke paas paisa ho to

Katrina kaif ¨agar main kuber hu to

Manoj bajpayee ¨haa

Katrina kaif : agar paise aapke paas hain aur kamane ki jigyasa ho to hotel management ka course
karo to subhan allah

Manoj bajpayee : is umr mein

Katrina kaif : ladkiyon ke bare mein jigyasa aur batane ki cheshta

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!!! profession dusra ho jaise kin ach gana to kya karte hain paisa kamane ka
anubhav

Katrina kaif ¨uske liye to aapko Rambha Urvashi menaka se puchna padega

Manoj bajpayee : hain ab unse mil sakta hoon

Katrina kaif : haa, unke kaksh mein pravesh karne ke liye aapko appointment leni padegi

Manoj bajpayee ¨kitni der

Katrina kaif : paanch minute yani teen ghante bhumi ke waqt ke anusaar

Manoj bajpayee ¨ thank you

Katrina kaif : you are welcome

Scene 14

Manoj bajpayee : teeno apsarao ki jai

Aishwarya rai : aapne humko apsara kaha, thank you

Priyanka chopra : kuber guruji ko pranaam

Manoj bajpayee : guruji ab main nahi raha

Deepika padukone : aapke paas paisa nahi hain to kya hua , education to hain

Aishwarya rai : theek farmaya , shiksha paiso se badkar mani jati hain

Priyanka chopra : aur jo shikshit hote hain unhe guruji ka darja diya jata hain

Manoj bajpayee : budda ho gaya hun , phir bhi thanks

Aishwarya rai : budde to sabhi hote hain guruji , par jo shikshit guru hote hain we kabhi bhi marte

nahi hain

manoj bajapyee : amar hone ka vardaan

Priyanka chopra : aisa hi samajh lijiye

Deepika paudukone : marne ka saubhagya aur sada ankhon ke samne jivit , kabool hain

Manoj bajpayee : kabool hain , girls are sensible

Aishwarya rai : aaapko apne beto se padti nahi hain

Priyanka chopra : suna hain aap ghruna karte hain unke shikshit hone ki khabar aapko bhala nahi
laga

Deepika padukone : batayiye to sahi aisa kyon

Manoj bajpayee : disrespect

Aishwarya rai : unhe hamare paas chod dijiye

Manoj bajpayee : kyon

Priyanka chopra : shastriya sangeet seekhne ke liye

Manoj bajpayee : usse kya hoga

Deepika padukone : respect for elders

Manoj bajpayee : shastriya sangeet seekhenge to respect a jayegi maine socha hi nahi , kya hai yeh

Aishwarya rai : bahut kuch

Priyanka chopra : to sustain religion bujurg ka zinda hona avashyak hain

Manoj bajpayee : wow !!!!

Deepika padukone : bujurg ko zinda rakhne ke liye shastriya sangeet ka avishkaar kiya hain

Manoj bajpayee : excellent

Aishwarya rai : to apna powerful position chodiye aur hamare dwar ka nimantran sweekar kijiye

Priyanka chopra : apne bacho se kahiye sukh shanti se pitaji ka post lekar duniya ka kalyan karne ka

Deepika padukone : aur desh bhar mein apne baap ka naam roshan kar devtao ko pujniya ki stithi
mein bhagidaar hone ki shiksha dijiyega

Manoj bajpayee : thank you for advice

Aishwarya rai : yama dharmaraj se miliyega

Manoj bajpayee : who kyon

Priyanka chopra : unhi ke netratva ki wajah se yeh ghar swargalog surakshit hain

Deepika padukone :paropkare idham shareeram

Manoj bajpayee : thank you , waise to maine plan to nahi kiya par agar aap ki maang hain to jaunga

Teeno : thanks wish you all the best in your long life as kuber

Scene 15

Manoj bajpayee : yama dharmaraj ki jai

Ajay devgan : kuber maharaj ki jai sadar pranaam

Manoj bajpayee : aapke desh mein ane se mujhe bahut bhay lagta hain
Ajay devgan : yeh hain hi nagarwasi unethical ka desh bhay to lagega

Manoj bajpayee : aap jeete kaise hain

Ajay devgan : chitragupta ki wajah se

Manoj bajpayee : karte kya hain yeh chitragupta

Ajay devgan : likhne ki bimari aur manoranjan hamare liye

Manoj bajpayee : kaisa manoranjan

Ajay devgan : bhukh kisko lagi aur pyaas kisko ayi

Manoj bajpayee : meaning

Ajay devgan : hamare yaha par sanskar hain jo bhi ata hain sudhar jata hain , jisko bhukh lagi wah
yaha par tik nahi sakta aur jikso pyas lagi wah is duiniye mein neki ka kaam hi karega , dushmani
wohi mol lete hain jise bhay na ho , jo bhay se darta hain who neki ka kaam karta hain , jise bhay
nahi who unethical ke naam se jana jata hain

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!! bhukh pyas is important

Ajay devgan : is important

Manoj bajpayee : to aap bhookh pyaas se vanchit jab aap is desh mein itne saalo se reh rahe hain

Ajay devgan : meri biwi hain is desh mein , mujhe khane ki kya parvah

Manoj bajpayee : jo is desh mein ate hain are bachelors

Ajay devgan : yes

Manoj bajpayee : agar aap is desh ko bhookh pyaas se vanchit rakhenge to log jayene kidhar

Ajay devgan : hamare desh mein bhookh pyaas kabhi lagti hi nahi kyonki kisi ko chahiye hi nahi

Manoj bajpayee : aur jisko lagi bhookh pyaas

Ajay devgan : who hamare desh a hi nahi sakta kyonki he is ethical

Manoj bajpayee : to paiso ka kya karte hain

Ajay devgan : jo unethical hain spend kar deta hain , jo ethical savings aur jo ethical hain hum
theharne hi nahi dete to hamare paas paisa kabhi rehta hi nahi , sab kangaal

Manoj bajpayee : oh !!!! samajh gaya , maine abhi suna hain ki aapki biwi hain

Ajay devgan : haa bataya to tha , miloge , bahut hasmukh hain

Manoj bajpayee : wow !!!!! hasmukh bilkul

Ajay devgan : done ,main iktilah kar deta hoon milne ke liye

Manoj bajpayee ; jaroor , bye

Ajay devgan : bye

Scene 16

Manoj bajpayee : yama dharmaraj patni ki jai

Kajol : pranaam

Manoj bajpayee : ache sanskaar hain aapke

Kajol : hone nahi chahiye kyon

Manoj bajpayee : jab itne anyay hote hain aapke desh mein , maine socha nahi tha bartav

Kajol : kuch positive people are sacrificed for the sake of negative people non domination

Manoj bajpayee : aap positivism mein yakeen rakhte hain

Kajol : bhookh pyaas lagti hain isliye manna apne ko padega ki we are positive people

Manoj bajpayee : aapke pass to khane ki samagri bhi nahi hain to khate kaise hain

Kajol : devtao ki socializing har din

Manoj bajpayee : har din socializing

Kajol : har din indra or yama ki baithak hoti hain entropy to determine evil good

Manoj bajpayee : us samay aap kha leti hain khana

Kajol : biwi hoon khana to padega

Manoj bajpayee : paisa ata kaha se hain to do get togethers har din

Kajol : positivism se achi kamayi ho jati hain

Manoj bajpayee : main samjha nahi

Kajol : maine kaha na bhookh pyaas jisko lagti hain who sudhar gaya , jo sudhar gaya who bhoo lok
ka niwasi aur indra khush to paisa mil jata hain , jitney log bhoo mandal par wapis chale gaye utni
taraki aur utna paisa

Manoj bajpayee : get to gethers is cheap

Kajol : costly

Manoj bajpayee : har roz get together phir bhi costly

Kajol : health is wealth

Manoj bajpayee : manna padega aapke netratva is fantastic

Kajol : thank you

Manoj bajpayee : to main chalta hoon , phir milenge

Kajol : chitragupta se to mileye , pata chalega ki shasan ek ki bas ki kaam nahi hoti

Manoj bajpayee : thanks for letting me know , jaroor

Kajol : acha to main chalti hoon , chitragupta ka ane ka waqt bhi ho gaya
Manoj bajpayee : who har roz kaam nahi karte har samay

Kajol : nahi

Manoj bajpayee ; interesting , bye

Kajol : bye

Scene 17

Manoj bajpayee : chitragupta ko pranam

Amitabh bachan : kaise ana hua hamare dwaar

Manoj bajpayee : bas aapke darshan karne the isliye chale aye

Amitabh bachan : kya seva kar sakta hoon apki

Manoj bajpayee : logo ke saath apka vyavhar chosen one ke saath kyon link hain

Amitabh bachan : logo ke saath , yeh isliye kyonki log bhatak jate hain aur bhikari banne ke sapne
dekhte hain isliye mujhe har samay brahma ke pass jana padta hain chosen one ke bare mein janne
ke liye taki mein apni kamayi kar sakoo is akaal desh mein jeena bahut mushkil ka kaam hain

Manoj bajpayee : akaal desh to main samajh gaya par yeh brahma kyon

Amitabh bachan : mere pujya pitaji ko charansparsh kiye bina main apna kaam karya sampurna nahi
kar sakta

Manoj bajpayee : brahma aapke pita hain

Amitabh bachan : haa

Manoj bajpayee : aur apke pitaji ne aapko kya sandesh bheja hain aur sandesh bhejte rehte hain

Amitabh bachan : har samay sach ka saath do jivan mein kabhi bhi paiso ke liye tum vyakul nahi hoge

Manoj bajpayee : aap bhumi lok chalate hain kabhi aisa samay aya ki logo ne chosen one ko gali di
aur aapka kaam beech mein hi ruk gaya kyonki chosen one was unethical

Amitabh bachan : brahma has to introduce newer chosen one to negate away the old

Manoj bajpayee : aur unethical

Amitabh bachan : is duniya mein na koi ethical hain na koi unethical situation ko samajhna padta
hain ki akhir insaan ne galat decision liya hain ya nahi , agar galat decision liya hain aur pata chala to
who hamare lok mein padhar ke samajh kar bhoo lok chala jayega agar papi nahi to sitara ban ke
duniya se adheen ho jayega samapt kuch din duniya ko apna naam chinh dekar

Manoj bajpayee : sach kaise jaan lete hain ki aapko kaise pata chal jata hain

Amitabh bachan : we bhoomi wasi khud bata deta hain ki maine kya galti ki kyonki use bhi apne
paiso se pyaar hain

Manoj bajpayee : paisa

Amitabh bachan : yeh brahmand chalta hi paiso se isliye bhoomi mate is crucial for sustenance of
constellation , yaha se aya hua paisa sab wasi baat kar apna pet puja karte hain

Manoj bajpayee : parantu paisa is different in different forms to paisa ekatra kaise hota hain under
different denominations

Amitabh bachan : science of writing

Manoj bajpayee : phd in finance

Amitabh bachan : that’s why all knowegeable people are finance pundits, rich as financial consultant

Manoj bajpayee : isse yeh mujhe pata chala ki aapke brahmand mein bhumi is writers wing hence
crucial for whole constellation to follow it

Amitabh bachan : correct

Manoj bajpayee : to main bhoomate ko pranaam karta hoon

Amitabh bachan : aliens take an agreement contract with the chosen one to share knowledge with
them, trade secret why we always sent chosen one to earth

Manoj bajpayee : taki pura brahmand kuch seekh sake is duniya se bhoomate, is it permanent

Amitabh bachan : ask bhoomate herself when you visit earth

Manoj bajpayee : jaroor

Amitabh bachan : thank you ab main chaloo

Manoj bajpayee : beshak , main ravan hota hun bhoomate se milne ke liye

Amitabh bachan : saraswathi namasthubyam

Scene 18

Manoj bajpayee :bhoo mate ki jai

Sushmita sen : bhoo mandal mein aapka swagat hain

Manoj bajpayee : main andar pravesh nahi kar pa raha hoon kyon

Sushmita sen : bhoo mandal choti ho chuki hain

Manoj bajpayee : main bahar se hi pranaam kar leta hoon

Sushmita sen : jaisi aapki marzi

Manoj bajpayee ; sandesh laya hoon bhumate ke liye

Sushmita sen : aapko experience nahi hain bhoo mate ko handle karne ke liye

Manoj bajpayee : pehli baar kaksh se bahar aya hun duniya dekhne ke liye

Sushmita sen : sandesh padiye

Manoj bajpayee : bhoomate ko bataya gaya hain ki jab tak manushya nivas kar sakte hain bhoo mate
ko koi takleef nahi di jayegi , parantu agar manushya apni gufa yani ghar se beghar ho gaye to bhoo
mate ko wahi dafna diya jayega , manushya apni rakhwali khud kare kyonki koi bhi bahar ke sadasya
ab bhoo mate par kabja karne ki stithi mein nahi hain aur agar hain bhi to bhoo mate is miniscule to
be left alone to die

Sushmita sen : aage

Manoj bajpayee : laxmi maate aur sab pujneey brahmand ke samasth pauranic bhagwan swaroop ab
bhoo mate se na khush hain aur parlay bhejne ki zid mein hain kyonki waha par sach ki staphna nahi
ho rahi hain , log ek dusre ke vipreet ja kar apna khud ka Kendra bimbu banana ki zid mein hain , aisa
mana gaya hain ki log ab science ko bhagwan mante hain isliye bhoo mate ko asweekar kiya ja
chukka hain , jo kuch bhi log shesht bach huye hain we apna karobar bhoo mandal par hi stapith kare
to samasth grah manushya ke is laparvahi se bach sakte hain

Sushmita sen : sach

Manoj bajpayee : haa mate sach ki staphna hi Kendra bimbu is samasth brahmand ka niyam hain ,
isse jo kuch bhi niyam ko todega parlay ayegi jaroor

Sushmita sen : thank you

Manoj bajpayee : acha maate main chalta hoon , apna dhyaan rakhna , kuch minto ka mehmaan hun
khana milega

Sushmita sen :jaroor

Kuber apne nivasthan par chale jate hain aur samasth bhoo mandal is in tension

OM NAMAH SHIVAAY