10/6/22, 20:58 Unit 3.

1 Notes

Unit 3.1 | Ten characteristics

Ten characteristics of effective business writing
Whether you are writing a thirty-word Twitter post or a thousand-page scientific report, you want to write in a
way that will lead your reader to:

understand your message easily the first time they read it.
respond in the way you intend.

In other words, you want a message that is clear and effective.

What makes a message clear and effective? To help guide our writing and revision, this course groups the
qualities of a clear and effective message into ten categories:

Effective business writing is:

Natural. Choose everyday words and phrases.

Concise. Use few words.
Direct. Get to the point.
Specific. Illustrate what you mean with concrete examples.
Reader-focused. Approach the situation from the reader’s point of view.
Tactful. Avoid offending the reader.
Positive. Highlight benefits and welcome news.
Unified. Include only relevant information.
Coherent. Connect your ideas so they are easy to follow.
Mechanically sound. Eliminate spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors.

Let’s look at each of these characteristics in more detail.

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10/6/22, 20:58 Unit 3.2 Notes

Unit 3.2 | Natural

Business messages should use familiar words and sentences that would sound normal in an everyday
conversation. This approach is often called plain language.

Some writers think they need fancy words, complicated sentences, and stock phrases to sound formal or
professional, but what happens is that they sound pompous and baffling.

Rephrase stuffy, bureaucratic, or legalistic phrases to say plainly what you mean.

✗ STUFFY: We are fully cognizant of the fact that you are predisposed to concurrence with our opinion.

✓ NATURAL: We know you probably agree.

✗ STUFFY: In accordance with our previous discussions, we duly enclose the correspondence in question for
your perusal.

✓ NATURAL: Please review the enclosed letter.

✗ STUFFY: This modification will positively impact the population.

✓ NATURAL: This change will help people.

The goal is not to over-simplify your writing or make it childish, but to choose words your readers will be
comfortable with.

What are natural alternatives to these stuffy words?

Stuffy Natural

utilize

ascertain

increment

terminate

Click or tap on the following sentence to read some alternatives.

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10/6/22, 20:58 Unit 3.2 Notes

You may have said:

Stuffy Natural

utilize use

ascertain learn

increment grow

terminate end

Buzzwords and clichés

Business buzzwords and cliches may sound impressive at first, but when examined they often turn out to be
shallow or meaningless. Express your ideas in your own words to make your meaning clear. If the point is too
obvious when put into plain language, just leave it out.

✗ We’re seeking proactive solutions.

✗ This will be our ask.

✗ It’s time to think outside the box.

✗ We must apply best practices.
✗ Our teams must synergize to find a quick win.
Technical terms
When deciding whether to use technical terms, abbreviations, or acronyms, think about your audience. Will they
be familiar with what you mean?

An archaeologist writing for other archaeologists could confidently use words like stratigraphic or debitage, but
they would need to explain these words or find more common alternatives when writing for a broader audience.

If you choose to explain a technical term, reread your sentence when you’re done. Could you remove the
technical term and use the explanation on its own?

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10/6/22, 20:58 Unit 3.2 Notes

✗ TECHNICAL: The activists wanted to lower speed limits on arterial highways.

✓ EXPLAINED: The activists wanted to lower speed limits on arterial highways, which are the highways
passing through a city.

✓ SIMPLE: The activists wanted to lower speed limits on highways that pass through a city.
Spell out acronyms and initialisms the first time you use them, unless you’re certain your audience will know
what you mean.

Resource

PlainLanguage.gov

The U.S. federal government maintains an excellent website about plain language.

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10/6/22, 20:58 Unit 3.3 Notes

Unit 3.3 | Concise

Use as few words as necessary to get your point across. This will allow your readers to grasp your meaning
quickly.

✗ WORDY: We hope that any and all of your questions have been answered, but if you have any additional
inquiries whatsoever, we trust you will not hesitate to call us.

✓ CONCISE: Please call if you have any other questions.

Here are some strategies to making your writing concise:

remove unnecessary words

simplify wordy expressions
express the main action as a verb
remove redundancies
remove hedging words
divide long sentences into smaller ones.

Remove unnecessary words

Some words clutter a sentence without adding meaning and simply be cut.

How would you improve these four sentences by deleting words?

Investors are in the process of reviewing the proposal.

I wish to inform you that your application is approved.
There were fifty customers who came to the presentation.
Basically, we need to move ahead etc. with this project.

You might have said:

Investors are in the process of reviewing the proposal.

I wish to inform you that Your application is approved.
There were Fifty customers who came to the presentation.
Basically, We need to move ahead etc. with this project.

Simplify wordy expressions

Many phrases can be replaced by a single word.

What are short substitutes for these phrases?

in all probability
close proximity
at a later point in time
if you would be so kind
due to the fact
in order to
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10/6/22, 20:58 Unit 3.3 Notes

in the event that

You may have said:

probably
near
later
please
because
to
if

Express the main action as a verb

Business writers sometimes hide the main action of the sentence as a noun. Choosing the right verb will make
your sentences more concise and clear.

Don’t camouflage your verbs!

✗ the board came to the decision

✓ the board decided

✗ the team gave consideration to

✓ the team considered

✗ scientists performed an analysis

✓ scientists analyzed
✗ they attended a meeting with the analyst

✓ they met with the analyst

✗ we will undertake a reassessment of

✓ we will reassess
Remove redundancies
Writers sometimes include redundant words for emphasis or because they are using stock phrases.

How would you remove the redundancies in these sentences?

The two cars were exactly identical.

His salary increase was small in size.
We need some new changes.
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Let’s meet at 3:30 p.m. in the afternoon.

You may have said:

The two cars were identical.
His salary increase was small.
We need some changes.
Let’s meet at 3:30 p.m.

Another type of redundancy to watch for is making the same point in multiple ways. Pick the clearest and most
effective expression of your idea and remove the others.

Remove hedging words

If you are confident in your claims, don’t clutter your sentence with qualifiers.

✗ I believe that the new software is pretty promising.

✓ The new software is promising.

Divide long sentences into shorter ones
Shorter sentences are easier to understand. If a sentence has multiple parts and is much longer than 20 words,
consider using shorter sentences to make the same points.

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10/6/22, 20:58 Unit 3.4 Notes

Unit 3.4 | Direct

Sentences should be straightforward.  Don’t make readers wait to understand what you’re trying to say or read
your sentences twice to decode them.

To ensure your sentences get straight to the point:

remove padded introductions

put the important part first
address the reader directly
use the active voice.

Note that we’re talking about sentence structures, not the overall message. Some types of messages do need to
be indirect. You wouldn’t start a sales letter with “Buy this $3000 laptop” or a bad-news letter with “Everyone’s
vacation days are cancelled.” However, even in those letters, most sentences should be direct.

Remove padded introductions

Sometimes writers meander at the start of sentences as they search for what to say.

Trim or revise the padded introductions to these sentences:

I am writing to inform you that your lease expires at the end of the month.
This message is to invite you to our annual conference.
My view is that we should renew the contract.
It is widely known that babies need vitamin D to build healthy bones.

You may have said:

Your lease expires at the end of the month.
Join us at our annual conference.
We should renew the contract.
Babies need vitamin D to build healthy bones.

Put the important part first

Readers should not have to wait to the end of a sentence to find out what you are talking about. A business
message is not a mystery novel—there is no reason to keep your readers in suspense.

✗ From the dusty foothills of Alberta to the peat bogs of New Brunswick, mammals live everywhere in
Canada.

✓ Mammals live everywhere in Canada, from the dusty foothills of Alberta to the peat bogs of New Brunswick.
Similarly, keep ideas intact in a sentence, rather than interrupting them with digressions. (In grammatical terms,
keep the subject and predicate together.)

✗ Our programmers, many of whom have designed smart phone apps and responsive websites, which are key
parts of today’s online environment, have modern skills.

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✓ Our programmers have modern skills. Many of them have designed smart phone apps and responsive
websites, which are key parts of today’s online environment.

Address the reader directly

Give instructions or advice directly to your reader.

✗ Employees are advised they should arrive early to get the best seats.
✓ Arrive early to get the best seats.
✗ I would appreciate it if you would send me the file.

✓ Please send me the file.

Use the active voice
Business messages should favour the active voice, where the person doing the action is foremost. This makes
your message more direct, emphatic, and concise.

✗ PASSIVE VOICE: The contract was negotiated by the president.

✓ ACTIVE VOICE: The president negotiated the contract.

If you are not familiar with the concept of active and passive voice, here is a refresher. The active voice is a way
of structuring sentences so that the doer of the action comes first. The passive voice, on the other hand, put the
object of the sentence first.

Which of these sentences uses the active voice?

The dispatcher relayed the call.

The call was relayed by the dispatcher.

The dispatcher is the one doing the action, therefore:

Active voice: The dispatcher relayed the call.

Passive voice: The call was relayed by the dispatcher.

The active voice is more transparent

Using the active voice also makes your message clearer because it avoids hiding important information about
who is doing the action.

✗ PASSIVE VOICE: It was agreed that salaries should increase by three percent.

✓ ACTIVE VOICE: Management and union leaders agreed that salaries should increase by three percent.
Sometimes the passive voice is the right choice

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Although the passive voice is less direct, sometimes that’s what is needed. You may want to choose the passive
voice to:

emphasize the recipient of the action: “You have been awarded the scholarship.” It’s more important to
know who receives the scholarship than who awarded it.
hide who is responsible for the action, perhaps to spare an individual’s feelings: “A major clerical error
was made.”
de-emphasize who is responsible, even when the reader knows: “Your car has not been repaired.”

Remember that “active” and “passive” here are grammatical terms. They do not describe how lively or mild
your language is.

For more information on active and passive voice, Education First has a useful guide about how passive voice
sentences are constructed, as well as some guidelines for use.

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10/6/22, 20:58 Unit 3.5 Notes

Unit 3.5 | Specific

Choose precise, concrete, and vivid words over general or abstract ones. Your reader should not have to guess or
assume what you mean.

✗ GENERAL: Someone will contact you soon.

✓ SPECIFIC: Our division supervisor will email you tomorrow morning.

✗ GENERAL: Company profits were affected by the news.

✓ SPECIFIC: Company profits declined by 27 percent following the news of the CEO’s arrest.
✗ ABSTRACT: We are adding resources to address the concerns.

✓ CONCRETE: We have hired safety officers and launched training programs to reduce injuries on the
assembly line.

✗ VAGUE: The building was in poor condition.

✓ VIVID: Several windows were broken, the front door was off its hinges, and all the hallway carpets had bare
patches.

Anticipate your reader’s questions

Develop your message so your reader will not be left with unanswered questions.

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10/6/22, 20:59 Unit 3.6 Notes

Unit 3.6 | Reader-focused

As we saw at the end of Unit 1, one of the core lessons of this course is to look at situations from the reader’s
point of view, not your own.

An easy way to get started is to focus your sentences on “you” not “we” or “I.” For this reason, many business
textbooks call this strategy "you-focus." Our textbook calls it the "you view" (page 36).

✗ WRITER-FOCUSED: We are sure you will enjoy the many benefits of our new health care plan.

✓ READER-FOCUSED: You will enjoy the many benefits of your new health care plan.
✗ WRITER-FOCUSED: I am glad to inform you that you have been chosen as our new head of marketing.

✓ READER-FOCUSED: You are invited to be our new head of marketing.

Many BMBA 110 students forget the importance of reader-focus, so I have enlisted this kitten to help reinforce
the concept.

Source: meme generated at imgflip.com for educational purposes

Another important aspect of reader-focus is highlighting the explanations and details that will matter to the
reader, rather than the ones that matter to the writer.

For example, suppose a grocery store wanted to explain to a customer why it uses ceiling fans rather than
electric air conditioning. The store could explain its reasoning to the customer in a writer-focused or reader-
focused way:

✗ WRITER-FOCUSED: Natural ventilation is less expensive, which helps keep our grocery stores profitable.

✓ READER-FOCUSED: Natural ventilation is less expensive, which helps keep grocery prices low for
customers like you.

Check your recall

Without looking back, can you name the five characteristics we have discussed so far and explain them in your
own words? If not, perhaps it’s time for a break and a glance back when you return.

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10/6/22, 20:59 Unit 3.7 Notes

Unit 3.7 | Tactful

If you offend or alienate your reader, they will probably resist anything else you have to say.

Use inclusive language and be aware of cultural differences

Modern business writing must be inclusive and free from bias, both overt and unconscious.

One simple place to start is using gender neutral language.

✗ A lawyer without ethics compromises his integrity.

✓ Lawyers without ethics compromise their integrity.

However, gender neutral language is only the beginning. As we saw in Unit 1, you need to take care to
respectfully consider everyone in society, the different ways people lead their lives, and the difficult histories
behind many modern situations.

What advice about inclusive language and intercultural communication can you remember from Unit 1? See
sections 1.3 and 1.4 for a refresher.

Ensure your tone is not accusatory

Avoid questioning your reader’s intentions or competence.

✗ LACKING TACT: If employees can't get out of bed in time, they should at least call and let their supervisor
know they will be late.

✓ MORE TACTFUL: Please notify your supervisor if you are going to be late.
Be cautious with humour

Before you try to use humour in a message, think very carefully if it could offend or alienate your audience,
including other readers who may see the message. People have widely varying ideas about what is funny, and
humour often touches on sensitive topics. Attempts at humour are often misunderstood, especially across
cultures.

Only include humour if you are confident that readers will not take offense and it makes your message
significantly more effective.

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10/6/22, 20:59 Unit 3.8 Notes

Unit 3.8 | Positive

Use a tone that encourages a positive interpretation.

Make language upbeat and tone “can do.”

✗ NEGATIVE: Unless you have any other ideas, we are abandoning the notion of a merger.

✓ POSITIVE: Do you have any other thoughts to help us make a final decision about the merger?
Emphasize what can be done, rather than what cannot.

✗ NEGATIVE: Unfortunately, we no longer carry the Zippy copier.

✓ POSITIVE: We have replaced the Zippy with the new Rapido, which has many interesting features.
Avoid words with negative connotations. Use neutral descriptions instead.

✗ NEGATIVE: I have shared your complaints with our social media team.

✓ POSITIVE: I have shared your comments and suggestions with our social media team.
Even if you’re responding to someone who is angry, keep your own tone calm and neutral. Don’t repeat
accusations or other negative language.

✗ NEGATIVE: I can assure you that our employees are not “unforgiveable snakes and liars” as you claim in
your letter.

✓ POSITIVE: I have investigated your concerns about how your insurance claim was handled.
Place positives prominently
Highlight positive information by placing it at the beginning or end of the message.

If you must deliver unwelcome information, first explain the reasons and highlight any reader benefits. (We’ll
look more at this strategy for delivering bad news in Unit 5.)

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10/6/22, 20:59 Unit 3.9 Notes

Unit 3.9 | Unified

Ensure all ideas and details in your message:

advance the specific purpose of the message

relate to the main message.

Remember from Unit 2.5 that the specific purpose is what you want your presentation to accomplish in the
short term, while the main message is the key point you want to communicate to your audience to accomplish
that purpose.

Cut everything else. Any discussions, announcements, or facts that do not relate to these central ideas should be
removed.

This means that even relevant details may not belong in the message. For example, suppose a customer asks why
they have to wait so long on your company’s tech support line. The purpose of your reply will be to retain the
customer’s goodwill. You may know that corporate budget cuts slashed staffing levels by fifty percent, which is
one reason waits are long, but informing the customer of that fact will not make them feel better about doing
business with your company. You will need to look for other strategies, such as telling them about a call-back
service, offering a higher tier of tech support, or sharing plans for future improvement.

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10/6/22, 20:59 Unit 3.10 Notes

Unit 3.10 | Coherent

A message is coherent when its parts connect in a logical way. Your reader should be able to follow you from
idea from idea without getting lost.

To help your reader understand how your ideas fit together, use:

Paragraphs. Effective paragraphs help your reader organize and logically process the information.

Linking words. Show relationships between ideas by connecting them with linking words such as and, but, if,
when, before, after, however, or therefore.

Bulleted lists. Put items in bulleted lists to make them stand out.

Numbering.  Number points to clarify steps or relationships. You can use numbered lists or phrases like “first…
second.”

Headings. Introduce main ideas with headings to highlight them and help readers spot the sections they care
about.

Paragraphs
Most written messages should be subdivided into paragraphs.

Each paragraph should contain one main idea only, and that idea must be clear to the reader. Usually the first
sentence of the paragraph—the topic sentence—reveals the main idea. All the other sentences in the paragraph
explain or support that idea.

If you find that a paragraph has two main ideas, divide it into two or more shorter paragraphs.

The end of a paragraph indicates a pause; the message is about to move to a new main idea. Subsequent
paragraphs introduce new thoughts to further develop the main message.

Business messages tend to use shorter paragraphs than academic writing or fiction. This makes the message
easier to navigate and absorb. If a paragraph is longer than five lines, check carefully if it could be divided into
smaller pieces.

Paragraphs in business letters usually follow the full block format (see page 406 of the textbook):

All lines are flush against the left margin. The first line is not indented.
Paragraphs are single spaced. A blank line separates each paragraph.

Read this message, presented without paragraph breaks:

We are often unaware of how important it is to use paragraphs to convey our written messages. Without
paragraphs, unrelated ideas are linked together, making it difficult for us to effectively convey the main message.
Skilled communicators know that a continuous flow of words can prevent their readers from clearly
understanding the intended relationship between the main ideas. Because there is no separation or pause
indicated between the main points of the message, it is challenging for the reader to know when new or different
ideas are presented. While writing our draft, and again at the editing stage, we must carefully check to ensure
related ideas are presented together. If not, those ideas that don’t seem to belong must be either moved, omitted,
or given their own paragraph.
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10/6/22, 20:59 Unit 3.10 Notes

Now, look at version two, with appropriate paragraphing:

We are often unaware of how important it is to use paragraphs to convey our written messages. Without
paragraphs, unrelated ideas are linked together, making it difficult for us to effectively convey the main message.

Skilled communicators know that a continuous flow of words can prevent their readers from clearly
understanding the intended relationship between the main ideas. Because there is no separation or pause
indicated between the main points of the message, it is challenging for the reader to know when new or different
ideas are presented.

While writing our draft, and again at the editing stage, we must carefully check to ensure related ideas are
presented together. If not, those ideas that don’t seem to belong must be either moved, omitted, or given their
own paragraph.

Show how ideas are linked

Clearly indicate how ideas within sentences relate to one another.

✗ DISJOINTED: I appreciated the opportunity to speak with you yesterday, and I have redesigned the floor
plan for the studio.

✓ CONNECTED: I appreciated the opportunity to speak with you yesterday. Based on your advice, I have
redesigned the floor plan for the studio.

Lists

Recall from unit 2 that items in a list should follow a parallel structure. Each item should also complete the
opening sentence, if one exists.

✗ Not Parallel

The project will improve our:

morale
retaining employees
revenues
we will be more competitive.

✓ Parallel

The project will improve our:

morale
retention
revenues
competitiveness.

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10/6/22, 20:59 Unit 3.11 Notes

Unit 3.11 | Mechanically sound

Eliminate spelling, grammar, punctuation, and other technical errors to ensure your readers understand you. A
polished and correct document also looks more professional and credible.

Verify all sentences are complete and properly structured.

Check your punctuation.
Double-check your spelling.
Use automated spelling and grammar checkers, but do not rely on them to find all errors.
Use a dictionary, a thesaurus, and your organization’s style guide.
Whenever possible, use a peer editor.

Common mechanical errors in this course

Comma splice
This is the most common error in the course, so beware!

The comma splice is an error where a comma joins together two independent clauses—that is, two parts of a
sentence that could be sentences on their own. Here’s an example:

✗ The client requested an early meeting, I suggested a 7 a.m. start.

“The client requested an early meeting” and “I suggested a 7 a.m. start” could both be their own sentences. They
need more than a mere comma to hold them apart.

To fix the problem, you can:

split the sentence into two sentences.

join the clauses with a conjunction, such as “and” or “because.”
use a semi-colon instead of a comma.

✗ The client requested an early meeting, I suggested a 7 a.m. start.

✓ The client requested an early meeting. I suggested a 7 a.m. start.

✓ The client requested an early meeting; I suggested a 7 a.m. start.

✓ The client requested an early meeting; therefore, I suggested a 7 a.m. start.

✓ The client requested an early meeting, so I suggested a 7 a.m. start.

You could even use an em dash, although this is less formal.

✓ The client requested an early meeting—I suggested a 7 a.m. start.

If you ever write a sentence where two clauses are joined by a comma, ask yourself “if this comma were a
period, would both sentences make sense?” If so, you have a comma splice to fix.

Incorrect apostrophe use

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The possessive form of “it” is “its.” The only reason to add an apostrophe to “it” is to abbreviate “It is.”

✗ The bird flaps it’s wings. Its beautiful.

✓ The bird flaps its wings. It’s beautiful.

Never use an apostrophe to pluralize a word.

✗ Our customer’s are the best.

✓ Our customers are the best.

The course textbook covers several other common errors. After reading the required selections from chapter 3,
see if you can invent your own original example of:

a sentence fragment
a misplaced modifier

Write down your answers in a personal notebook.

 
Now is a good time to start working on Assignment 1: "The Ten Characteristics" Revision.

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