PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Quarter 2 – Module 1:
Personal Relationship
 QUEZON COLLEGES OF THE
SCHOOL-BASED S

Introductory Message
Welcome to the Personal Development School-Based Learning Module
(SBLM). I am JEYSEL S. CALUMBA, your teacher or facilitator in this subject.
This learning material is especially crafted to provide you with independent
and self-directed learning experiences and to have more autonomy and control over
your learning. This will help you improve your academic performance, increase
motivation and confidence, make choices and decisions about how to meet your
learning needs, take responsibility for constructing and carrying out your own
learning.

The competencies included in this module are considered as the most

essential competencies which need to be mastered by a Grade 11 student like you.
These competencies are anchored on the general principles, goals, and objectives of
the K to 12 Basic Education program for Grade 11 student like you to become
productive and effective participant in the society you are in.

For the Parents/Guardians:

Greetings!

The world is currently in a very challenging situation due to the corona virus
2019 pandemic. All are affected including the education system. In this time of crisis,
learning must continue. That is why the Quezon Colleges of the North initiates this
School-Based Self-Learning Module for the students to continue learning even at
home.

You, as the parents, play an important role in this new way of learning. Kindly
give your child enough lesson time. Check their modules if they seriously do the
activities. Your support would mean so much for them. Help them to become a
productive learner even at home. This is just a temporary situation. Everything would
go back to normal when this corona virus is over. Thank you for the unconditional
support to your child’s education. Let us join, hand in hand, for your child’s future.

For the Learner:

Welcome to the new normal way of learning!

This self-directed module is designed for you to be equipped with the

most essential competencies you need to learn for your grade level. For you to
become successful independent learner, you must have a good time management
so that you would be able to complete this course. In reading, you need to pay close
attention to the words you are reading and their meanings. In times that you need to

do some research, try to draw from a variety of different courses and if things are
getting difficult, do not give up. Please ask assistance from your teacher or anyone
whom you know that can help you. Love and enjoy this beautiful and meaningful
learning experience!

1. Read the module title and the module introduction to get an idea of what the
module covers. Specifically, read the first two sections of this module
carefully. The first section tells you what this module is all about while the
second section tells you of what you are expected to learn.

2. Never move on to the next page unless you have done what you are expected
to do in the previous page. Before you start each lesson, read first the
INSTRUCTIONS.

3. Work on the activities. Take note of the skills that each activity is helping you
to develop.

4. Take the Post-Test after you are done with all the lessons and activities in the
module.

5. Meet with your teacher. Ask him/her about any difficulty or confusion you have
encountered in this module.

6. Finally, prepare and gather all your outputs and submit them to your teacher.

7. Please write all your answers of the tests, activities, exercises, and others in
your separate activity notebook.

If you encounter any difficulty in answering the tasks in this module, do not
hesitate to consult your teacher or facilitator. Always bear in mind that you are not
alone.

We hope that through this material, you will experience meaningful learning
and gain deep understanding of the relevant competencies. You can do it!
 What I Need to Know

Welcome to this module! You must be very eager to start with the learning activities
prepared for you. The activities in the module have been designed to provide you
with rich and stimulating learning experience.

After going through this module, you are expected to:

1. Discuss an understanding of teen-age relationships, including the acceptable
and unacceptable expressions of attractions. (ESP-PD11/12PR-Iii-9.1);week1
2. Express his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment. (ESP-
PD11/12PR-Iii-9.2); week 1
3. Identify ways to become responsible in a relationship. (ESP-PD11/12PR-Iii-
9.3); week 1
Good luck as you begin this module!

Exploration
Directions: Journal Reflection

Use these guide questions to share your thoughts, feelings, and opinion about your
personal relationship.
1. What kind of relationship do you have in your family, friends, or partner (if there’s
any)?
2. What is your role in the relationship?
3. Are you satisfied with the type of relationship that you have with them?
4. Do you believe that your relationship with them can be improved?
5. In what ways can you help to improve your relationship with them?
6. Write your love language and the love languages of your listed family members
such as parents and siblings, friends and significant other.
7. How you can further express your love to them?
8. List down the things on how you wanted to be loved and how you can share your
love to them.
9. Assess your relationship with your family, friends or significant partner by
identifying the things that make it healthy and unhealthy.
10. Write possible ways on how you will change your unhealthy relationship to them
into healthy relationship (if there’s any).
11. What are the things you can possibly do or promise to yourself to become
responsible in maintaining the healthy relationship you have to other people?
Lesson Proper/Discussion of Concepts

LESSON 1- PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

As you have listed all the people in your life right now that you have close
connection, so let us know what this close connection that you have with them is.

Personal Relationship refers to the association and close connections

between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often
grow from and are formed by mutual experiences. Teenagers commonly have
relationships with their family, friends and significant other. The changes in a teen’s
physical and cognitive development come with big changes in their relationship with
family and friends. In adolescence stage, a new understanding of one’s self occurs.
This may include independence, identity and self-esteem.

Family Relationships

Family is defined as “two or more persons who are related by birth, marriage,
or adoption, and who live together as one household.” It includes siblings and
parents who may with you as you grow up, and relatives such as grandparents,
aunts, uncles, and cousins who you may not see frequently.

Family bond plays a vital role in person’s well-being since it may form other
kinds of relationships such as friendships and romantic relationships. Having strong
family relationships is ideal although it doesn’t happen always. There should be
love and closeness. Parents and older relatives role is to guide discipline and
support you when needed. Arguments, disagreements, moments of anger and hurt
are normal in a family since you spend so much time together, and these are short-
lived for families still love and care about each other. There is an increase of
arguments and conflicts with parents when teenagers assert their independence and
find their identity as adult. These shall pass after teenage years.

In some families, there is little physical contact whereas in others, it is

common for family members to express affection by means such as hugging, kissing
on the cheek or forehead, patting the head or tousling the hair, patting on the back
etc. It is common for babies and younger children to be carried or held.

Friendships

Friends are the people who we are not related to but who we choose to
interact with. They are the people who we trust, respect, care about and feel that we
can confide in and want to spend time with. A friendship is a reciprocal relationship.
Both people must see each other as a friend for it to exist.
 There are different degrees of friendship. You may find that you feel closer to
some friends than others. This is perfectly normal. Some friends, especially if they
have only been known for a short time or are not seen very often, may not be
appropriate to confide in about personal issues or concerns. You may find that you
feel more comfortable and able to confide in friends whom you have known for
longer or spend more time with.

Furthermore, friends who are very close and know each other well are
referred to as “best friends or close friends”. Some people have many friends, while
others may only have one or two. There is no right or wrong number of friends to
have and everyone is different. Good friendships are mutually respectful, supportive
and share common interests and ideas. It should be built on honesty, support and
loyalty.

Some friendships can be close while some friends choose to greet each other
by hugging or kissing on the cheek, other friendships may have no physical contact,
or may simply shake hands. Romantic contact or Being intimate physically is not
appropriate in a friendship.

Romantic Relationships

A romantic relationship is when you feel very strongly attracted to the other
person, both to their personality and, often, also physically and should be
reciprocated by the other person in the relationship. A romantic relationship exists
between a boyfriend and girlfriend (in a heterosexual relationship) or a boyfriend and
boyfriend or girlfriend and girlfriend (in a homosexual relationship) or spouses (in a
marriage) or life partners (in a civil partnership or long-term unmarried relationship).
People in a romantic relationship often see each other and when apart will find ways
to contact each other by phone and the like. A romantic relationship is the closest
form of relationship in which, the two people who are involved will often describe
themselves as being attracted to each other and/or “in love”. They feel a strong
connection and bond to each other that they do not feel with anyone else, even close
friends. The bond is also exclusive and monogamous.

Arguments and disagreements occur in romantic relationships sometimes.

These arguments can be overcome through effective communication, understanding
and compromise. In other cases, if there are frequent arguments, the two people
involved my decide to end the relationship. Relationships can be of varying duration.
Some relationships quickly become apparent that the two people involved are not
compatible and do not want to spend their lives together, and so the relationship may
end after only a few months. In other cases, both may be together for many years or
may stay together for the rest of their lives.

Successful romantic relationships are built on love, trust, respect, support,

acceptance, shared interests and a desire for the two people involved to share their
lives together and end with marriage. For teenagers, various kinds of physical
contact are not appropriate. These include prolonged cuddling and holding, kissing
on the lips and sexual intercourse. Pre- marital sex is unacceptable.
LESSON 2- ATTRACTION, LOVE AND
COMMITMENT
In the biological model of love as proposed by anthropologist Helen Fisher,
love can start with any of these three feelings: lust, attraction and attachment
depending on the person. Each involves different neurochemicals in your brain.

Three Brain Systems of Love or Stages of Falling in Love

1. Lust refers to an urge or desire that motivates us to partake in sexual activity.

2. Attraction is described as the love-struck phase. This is the stage when a person
loses sleep and appetite over someone and become excited to someone while
daydreaming of special person. It is part of lust because it involves focusing our
attention to a particular person or desire. Many factors influence attraction.
Factors of Attraction

a. Physical Attractiveness
It is one of the primary determinants of romantic attraction. Most people prefer
whom they consider physically attractive especially in the early stages of
dating.
b. Proximity
People tend to get attracted to people who are geographically closer to them.
They are more likely to develop feelings of mutual familiarity with the people
who live close to us or go to school with us and increased level of comfort
when there is regular contact and no prior negative feelings.

c. Similarity
People pick partners who we have similarities with such as social class,
background, religious beliefs, age and education. The more attitudes and
opinions two people share, especially when they are similar, the more they
will want to do the same activities, and would create a strong bond between
them.

d. Reciprocity
People like others who like them back. People feel indebted when someone
does something good for them and tend to reciprocate the action. The more
we are liked by someone they equally like, the more we behave in ways that
promote mutual feelings of liking.

3. Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to
another across time and space. It is when long-lasting commitments are
exchanged.
 Robert Strenberg (1988) suggests that there are three main components of
love. Love relationships vary and it depends on the presence or absence of each of
these components.

Three Components of Triangular Theory of Love

1. INTIMACY is an intimate interpersonal relationship that involves physical or

emotional intimacy. It is characterized by friendship, familiarity, or romantic love.
It involves closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
2. PASSION is an intense emotion, a compelling enthusiasm or desire for
something.
3. COMMITMENT is the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support
something. It is an act deciding to consistently fulfil and live by agreements
made with another person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity
and respect serve as a guide to one’s behaviour and thinking. The easy ways to
express your commitment to your relationships is to show love and loyalty,
respect and appreciate others, convey honesty and trust, work as a team and
compromise, and disagree agreeably.

The combination of the three (3) components can produce eight (8) types of love.

Types of Love Intimacy Passion Commitment Example

Nonlove No No No
Liking Yes No No Friendships
Infatuation No Yes No Experiencing love at first
sight or being obsessed
with a person
Empty Love No No Yes Stagnant Relationships or
Arrange marriage
Fatuous No Yes Yes Relationships motivated
by passion
Companionate Yes No Yes Relationships lacking
passion such as those
between family members
or close friends
Romantic Yes Yes No Being bonded
emotionally and
physically to another
person
Consummate Yes Yes Yes Complete love
 Love occurs not solely between romantic partners only. Humans can experience
different types of love in various relationships, such as with romantic partners,
friends, family and even strangers. Ancient Greeks studied love and denote each
type by giving each one a Greek name. Lee (1973) offers a theory love styles which
are derived from an analysis of writings about love through centuries.

1. PHILIA – Affectionate Love

It is a love that runs deep in true friendship. Love without romantic attraction and
occurs between friends or family members. It is called brotherly love when both
people share the same values and respect each other.

Ways to show this love:

 Engage in deep conversation with a friend.

 Exchange beliefs and imperfections with close friends.
 Be open and trustworthy
 Be supportive in difficult times.

2. PRAGMA – Enduring Love

It is a mature love that develops over time. Commitment and efforts are needed
to reach “Pragma”. Instead of “falling in love”, you are “standing in love” with the
partner by your side.

Ways to show this love:

 Continue to strengthen the bond of long-term relationships
 Seek and show effort with your partner.
 Choose to work with your partner forever.

3. STORGE – Familiar love

It is naturally occurring love rooted in parents and children, as well as best
friends. It’s an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional connection.
This love come easily and immediately in parent and child relationships. It flows
between parents and children or childhood friends.
Ways to show this love:

 Sacrifice your time, self or personal pleasures.

 Quickly forgive harmful actions.
 Share memorable and impactful moments.
 Show gratitude towards the people close to you.

4. EROS – Romantic Love

It is a personal infatuation and physical pleasure. It is a passionate love displayed
through physical affection.
Ways to show this love:
  Admiring someone’s physical body
 Engage in physical touch such as hugging and kissing but it is not
appropriate for you yet.

5. LUDUS –Playful love

Flirting and beginning stages of intimate love. It is a child-like and flirtatious love
found in the beginning. This type of love consists of teasing, playful motives and
laughter between two people.

Ways to show this love:

 Spend time together to laugh and have fun

 Exemplify childlike behaviour together.

6. MANIA –Obsessive Love

Obsessiveness or madness over a love partner is mania. It leads to unwanted
jealousy or possessiveness.

Ways to avoid this love:

 Recognize obsessive or possessive behaviour before acting upon it.

 Focus on yourself more than another person.
 Put trust into your relationships

7. PHILAUTIA –Self Love

It is having a healthy “self-compassion” love towards one’s self.

It is when you recognize your self-worth and don’t ignore your personal needs.
Self-love begins with acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being.

Ways to avoid this love:

 Respect, accept ad appreciate yourself.

 Create environment that nurtures your well-being.
 Take care of yourself like a parent would care for a child
 Spend time around people who supports you.

8. AGAPE –Selfless Love

It is an empathetic attitude of love for everyone and anyone. It is the highest love
to offer. It is given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. It is
considered as unconditional love.

Ways to avoid this love:

 Dedicate your life to improve the lives of others.

  Stay conscious of your actions for the good of humankind.
 Offer your time and charity to someone in need.
 Express unconditional love in any situation

LESSON 3- BEING RESPONSIBLE IN A

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

The situations given in the previous activity can all be applicable among your
family and significant other or partner. Learn to recognize examples of people who
engage in negative behaviors that lead to unhealthy relationships. These are some
important aspects for healthy relationships.

Important Aspects for Healthy Relationships

Adapted from Woititz, J. , Adult Children of Alcoholics
Mutual Respect Do I treat the other person as if he/she is of value?
Compassion Do I have genuine concern for the issues that cause the other
person concern?
Empathy To what degree am I able to allow myself to be open to what
he/she feels?
Understanding Do I try to understand the other peson, what they say or do?
Acceptance Can I feel I am okay the way I am? Do I accept him/her as he/she
is?
Honesty Is the relationship built on truthfulness, or are there games
involved?
Trust To what degree am I willing to let the other person know private
aspects of my thoughts, feelings, and life?
Good Can we talk freely about issues that are important to the
Communication relationships?
Do we know how to talk so we each are understood and sharing is
safe?

Consideration Am I mindful of the other person’s needs as well as my own?

Compatibility To what extent do we like and value the same things?
Mutual In areas of disagreement, are we able to agree or disagree?
Enjoyment
Personal Am I able to maintain my beliefs and sense of self as well as offer
Integrity my time and attention to the relationship?
Vulnerability To what degree can I let down my barriers and allow the other
person to see my perceived weaknesses, without fear of negative
reactions from them?

Exercises/Developmental Activities

Exercise 1. The People around Me

Draw a rectangle on blank sheet of paper. Connect three more rectangles as shown
below. Lists down the people you have close connections with and who considered
family, friends, or partner. You may draw or put pictures of them if you want.

FAMILY

PARTNER YOU FRIENDS

(if there’ any)

Exercise 2. : Love Combination

Identify the perfect combination of different theory of love styles that can create
something beautiful on your connection with your family, friends and significant
other. Though there isn’t a perfect equation for every relationship, these
combinations can provide a perspective on how to work various types of love into
your relationships.

Relationship Combination of Types of Love

Family ___________+____________+_____________
Friendship ___________+____________+_____________
Significant Other ___________+____________+_____________

Exercise 3.Characteristics of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Divide your paper into two columns and identify healthy and unhealthy relationships
1. You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person.
2. You do not try to control each other. There is equal amount of give and take.
3. You feel sad, angry, scared, or worried.
4. There is communication, sharing and trust. You feel safe to share secrets.
5. You feel that you give more attention to them than they give to you. You feel
controlled.
6. You don’t communicate, share or trust.
7. You like to spend time together but also enjoy doing things apart.
8. You feel pressured to spend time together and you feel guilty when you’re both
apart from each other.
9. You feel the need to be someone that you are not.
10. It’s easy to be yourself when you are with them.
11. You respect each other’s opinion. You listen and try to understand their point of
view even if you don’t always agree with them.
12. You feel the need to be someone that you are not.
13. There is no fear in your relationship.
14. You feel there’s no respect for you or your opinion. You are not able to disagree.
15. You feel fear in your relationship.

Generalization

Would you mind to make a summary on what you have learned from our lessons?

Assessment

Multiple Choice. Select the letter of the best answer among the given choices.

1. It is an act deciding to consistently fulfil and live by agreements made with

another person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect
serve as a guide to one’s behaviour and thinking
 A. Passion B. Commitment
C. Attraction D. Attachment
2. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered having a
healthy “self-compassion” love towards one’s self.

A. Philia B. Agape
C. Storge D. Philautia
3. Which of the following influence the person to get attracted to people who are
geographically closer to them?

A. Physical Attractiveness B. Similarity

C. Proximity D. Reciprocity
4. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for your
family?

A. Storge, Agape, Philia B. Pragma Eros, Ludus

C. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia
5. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others who like
them back?

A. Physical Attractiveness B. Similarity

C. Proximity D. Reciprocity
6. It is described as the love-struck phase which is part of lust because it
involves focusing our attention to a particular person or desire.

A. Passion B. Commitment
C. Attraction D. Attachment
7. Which of the following is an element of a healthy relationship?
A. One person make all the decisions B. Be disrespectful
C. Trust one another D. You are threatened
8. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is characterized by
intimate, non-passionate type of love with long term commitment.

A. Consummate B. Romantic
C. Companionate D. Fatuous
9. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered as the
selfless or unconditional love.

A. Philia B. Agape
C. Storge D. Philautia
10. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for
friendship?

A. Storge, Agape, Philia B. Pragma Eros, Ludus

C. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia
11. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is ideal and complete
form of love with intimacy, passion and commitment.
 A. Consummate B. Romantic
C. Companionate D. Fatuous
12. Which of the following is a good sign of an unhealthy relationship?

A. You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person.
B. There is communication, sharing, and trust.
C. You feel fear in your relationship.
D. You feel safe to share secrets.
13. Which of the following is a good sign of a healthy relationship?

A. You are afraid of your friends temper.

B. Your friend is happy when good things happen to you.
C. Your friend threatens to hurt you
D. You friend makes fun of you.
14. Which of the following is appropriate to do in expressing your attraction to
your significant other?

A. Kissing B. Smiling at each other

C. Intimate activities D. Invading personal space
15. This refers to the close connections between people, formed by emotional
bonds and interactions.

A. Personal Development B. Intimacy

C. Personal Relationship D. Commitment

Closure/Reflection
Direction: On a separate sheet of paper, answer the following questions: (5
points each)
1. What concepts or skills did you learn well?
2. What concepts or skills was difficult to understand?
3. What activities did you enjoy the most?
4. What activity was hard to execute?
5. Did you ask help from your teacher? (Yes or No). If Yes, did you immediately
receive the needed assistance? Was the given assistance helpful for you to
understand better the lessons?

References

Apurado, A., “Learning Acitivity Sheets in Personality Development”,

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1PVQyOM1Z1kJjhb-ZkpubByS1qA6iZMFK

“Personal Relationship”, accessed last June 13, 2020,

https://www.slideshare.net/PennVillanueva/personal-relationship
“Module12:Attraction”, accessed last June 13, 2020, https://opentext.wsu.edu/social-
psychology/chapter/module-12-attraction/

“Which of 7 Types of Love Relationships Fits Yours?”, accessed last June 13, 2020,
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201308/which-7-types-love-
relationships-fits-yours

“Chapter 10 Personal Relationship”, accessed last June 13, 2020,

https://www.slideshare.net/RupertGarryTorres/personal-relationship-72885304

“Sternberg's Triangular Theory and the 7 Types of Love”, accessed last June 13, 2020,
https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-love-we-experience-2303200

“Know! The Five Love Languages of Tweens/Teens”, accessed last June 13, 2020,
https://preventionactionalliance.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Know-The-Five-Love-
Languages-of-Tweens-and-Teens.pdf

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