Upon crosschecking the data derived from the narrative essays written herein:

It has come to my conclusion that the Regional Implementation of the Support to Barangay
Development Program (SBDP) 2021 has allocated P20 million to fund 164 projects in the 49 barangays of
Camarines Norte, Masbate and Sorsogon.

As of August 5, 2022, Camarines Norte has reported 100% project completion rate (25/25) whilst
Masbate and Sorsogon are at 71.25% (57/80) and 37.29% (22/59) respectively.

K. H. C. Lozano

“Good day sir,…XXX”

Although it’s polite to start your report with your quaint way of greeting a higher authority but in writing
narrative reports-it is no longer necessary.

Narrative reports are designed to deliver something as the principal purpose of writing but the author
has to keep his facts straight – make it brief and simple as much as possible in consideration that the
reader doesn’t have the ample time to read everything in text. Taking into account of the foregoing, it
must be anticipated that the vital information of the message the writer is trying to convey to his/her
reader can be easily identified, that is, in plain view. With this, the writer should might as well include
the baseline information relative to the derivation of percentages since the reader will probably have a
hard time identifying and calculating what those percentages stand for.

“…as of August 05, 2022..XXX”

Same timeline on the SBDP reporting has been repeated a lot of time in the same sentence. The writer
could have written it off and limit it to one.

R. L. Catura

“Support to Barangay Development Program (SBDP)…xxx” The writer has unnecessarily extended most
of his sentences. He could have written it in a manner that‘s short and to the point where his/her
prospective reader could easily identify the information that they need as quickly as possible.

For example:

If in the first paragraph, the Support to Barangay Development Program (SBDP) was emphasized and
defined what that term really means in full text then the acronym SBDP should suffice to stand alone in
the foregoing sentences.
Corollary to this, the writer should might as well combine the complementary information relative to the
subject matter at hand.

For example:

Projects completion rates in percentage (%) could be combined with the actual number of projects
completed.

“…(The) (r)egion 5 has a total of 49 barangays…xxx” Omit the article “The” in the presentment of pre-
determined collective nouns.

“…05 August 2022..xxx” In writing technical reports, the writer should have written the date through this
format Month/DD/YYYY.

J. M. Burce

The writer has also unnecessarily extended most of her sentences. I have also observed that there are
some dangling sentences; left unfinished halfway of which the foregoing could be combined with the
former to create a single thought.

Since December 31, 2022 is a date from the future, the writer doesn’t have supplementary data to prove
her stance. She have assumed that by December 31, 2022, the projects’ completion rate could robust by
100%.

She may have tried to combine the projects’ completion rates (%) with the actual number of projects
completed but the way she have written it out plus the excessive use of commas (,) have compromised
the cohesion of the sentences particularly on how they’ll actually build the foundation of the message
they’re trying to convey.

H. G. Atendido

There are some minuet grammatical errors observed in some sentences but they’re tolerable. However
he did went into a lot of details and reading his output sounded like he’s trying to narrate SBDP of the
Region in a story telling style. There’s coherence and unity in his writing but he doesn’t need to
elaborate the details further just to make sure that the “words are there.”

Furthermore, I also suggest that he should have also written out the project completion rates with the
actual number of projects completed in order to help the readers find the “measurable” and
“determinate” information they seek.

K. S. Jacob

Speaking in the same vein, there are also some minor grammatical errors observed in some sentences
but they didn’t affect the entirety of the message- the report was trying to imply. The way she have
written the details out was arranged in a manner with the most important information coming first;
project completion rates are supplemented with the actual number of projects completed where such
information laden out in the surface, the reader will be able to identify information at first glance. With
some minor improvements, it’ll be a one well-written narrative report.

J. E. PL. Penolio
Again, it is relatively polite to start your report with a cordial greeting addressed to a higher authority
but it should be pulled off unless you’re giving a verbal report. The writer has also unnecessarily
extended some of his sentences where he could have combined some of the closely-related sentences
into one.

The paragraph composition felt as if it was rushed and it was needless to say that the writer shouldn’t
even consider on the proposition to have his/her reader check on the ”attached…” if he could better
summarize the important points and write it out on his report. Narrative reports are there to serve as a
report briefer to briefly apprise the reader of what “…it is all about”. Also, the writer shouldn’t even
bother adding such sentence if there’s no attached.

M. J. E. Endoma

The writer has utilized one of the tools in writing narrative reports – the outlined writing. With this, he
has found opportunities to combine or eliminate potential points where relative drafts often contain
repetitive ideas or sections that could stall his writing stance.

I have observed that his writing was detailed and he got over his findings by putting them in order of
priority but I suggest that he could have presented his report in a simple and concise style that will not
make his reader read it for a lot of times. Data indicated in nos. 4 and 5 will be better off if they are
written and presented in a table. Nevertheless, it’s also a well-written narrative report.

E. V. Cuya

There are some relative grammatical errors that have compromised the structure of her sentence
composition particularly on the context that they are trying to convey. I had the feeling that the writer
might be overwhelmed by the external factors such as time constraints resulting to omitting some of the
words and rushing the whole writing process. The thought of her report was already there but reading
the sentences felt as if I’ve been left hanging. Should she be given an ample time to rewrite her report,
she could have written a fine one.

M. J. G. Atendido

The report’s short and brief and it could be your typical response for a Q&A. Relative to this, the writer
had failed to indicate what his report was all about since it didn’t even mentioned the key terminologies
and reporting time frame particularly the SBDP in constituting the “What-“and the August 5, 2022 on
“When-“ in the WH Questioning.

Initially, the writer was tasked to prepare a narrative report that should primarily entail all the technical
details that the experts in the field will read. He was supposed to inform not to create and impose
decisions unto them. Hence, he shouldn’t have included premature assumptions without any basis to
strengthen his claims.