Elkinds adolesecene

Adolescent egocentrism describes the tendency for adolescents to have

differing perceptions between what they believe others think about them
and what other people actually think about them. This is a component of
David Elkind's theories on child development which are based on Piaget's
theory of developmental cognitive stages.

Adolescents typically think others are more aware and attentive of their
behavior and appearance than people actually are. A common way of
thinking for an adolescent that trips over the sidewalk at school is that
everyone saw them and noticed and are going to think negatively about
them for being clumsy. The entire world revolves around them in some
manner.

Two components of adolescent egocentrism identified by Elkind are the

imaginary audience and the personal fable.

The imaginary audience is essentially a mentally constructed anticipation of

an event or situation in a future social setting. A person will imagine how
others will react to them and how they will behave in this future setting
which forms the imaginary audience. Unfortunately situations rarely work
out the way a person imagines because adolescents imagine themselves
as the absolute center of attention for the audience and social settings that
are rarely this way.

The personal fable is comprised of adolescent beliefs that their feelings are
unique and uncommon. They are profound and special and no one can feel
the same way that they do. The personal fable often works with the
imaginary audience to strengthen an adolescent's egocentrism. Typically
these traits fade away as development towards adulthood occurs.

Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development

Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust
The first stage of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development occurs between birth and 1 year
of age and is the most fundamental stage in life. Because an infant is utterly dependent,
developing trust is based on the dependability and quality of the child's caregivers.

At this point in development, the child is utterly dependent upon adult caregivers for
everything they need to survive including food, love, warmth, safety, and nurturing. If a
caregiver fails to provide adequate care and love, the child will come to feel that they cannot
trust or depend upon the adults in their life.

Outcomes

If a child successfully develops trust, the child will feel safe and secure in the world. Caregivers
who are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or rejecting contribute to feelings of mistrust in
the children under their care. Failure to develop trust will result in fear and a belief that the
world is inconsistent and unpredictable.

During the first stage of psychosocial development, children develop a sense of trust when
caregivers provide reliability, care, and affection. A lack of this will lead to mistrust.

No child is going to develop a sense of 100% trust or 100% doubt. Erikson believed that
successful development was all about striking a balance between the two opposing sides. When
this happens, children acquire hope, which Erikson described as an openness to experience
tempered by some wariness that danger may be present.

Subsequent work by researchers including John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth demonstrated the
importance of trust in forming healthy attachments during childhood and adulthood.
Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt

The second stage of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development takes

place during early childhood and is focused on children developing a greater
sense of personal control.

The Role of Independence

At this point in development, children are just starting to gain a little

independence. They are starting to perform basic actions on their own and
making simple decisions about what they prefer. By allowing kids to make
choices and gain control, parents and caregivers can help children develop a
sense of autonomy
Potty Training

The essential theme of this stage is that children need to develop a sense of
personal control over physical skills and a sense of independence. Potty
training plays an important role in helping children develop this sense of
autonomy.

Like Freud, Erikson believed that toilet training was a vital part of this
process. However, Erikson's reasoning was quite different than that of
Freud's. Erikson believed that learning to control one's bodily functions leads
to a feeling of control and a sense of independence. Other important events
include gaining more control over food choices, toy preferences, and clothing
selection.

Outcomes

Children who struggle and who are shamed for their accidents may be left
without a sense of personal control. Success during this stage of
psychosocial development leads to feelings of autonomy; failure results in
feelings of shame and doubt.

Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt

The third stage of psychosocial development takes place during the

preschool years. At this point in psychosocial development, children begin to
assert their power and control over the world through directing play and
other social interactions.

Children who are successful at this stage feel capable and able to lead
others. Those who fail to acquire these skills are left with a sense of guilt,
self-doubt, and lack of initiative.

Outcomes

The major theme of the third stage of psychosocial development is that

children need to begin asserting control and power over the environment.
Success in this stage leads to a sense of purpose. Children who try to exert
too much power experience disapproval, resulting in a sense of guilt.
Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority
The fourth psychosocial stage takes place during the early school years from
approximately ages 5 to 11. Through social interactions, children begin to
develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments and abilities.

Children need to cope with new social and academic demands. Success leads
to a sense of competence, while failure results in feelings of inferiority.

Outcomes

Children who are encouraged and commended by parents and teachers

develop a feeling of competence and belief in their skills. Those who receive
little or no encouragement from parents, teachers, or peers will doubt their
abilities to be successful

Stage 5: Identity vs. Confusion

The fifth psychosocial stage takes place during the often turbulent teenage
years. This stage plays an essential role in developing a sense of personal
identity which will continue to influence behavior and development for the
rest of a person's life. Teens need to develop a sense of self and personal
identity. Success leads to an ability to stay true to yourself, while failure
leads to role confusion and a weak sense of self.

During adolescence, children explore their independence and develop a

sense of self Those who receive proper encouragement and reinforcement
through personal exploration will emerge from this stage with a strong sense
of self and feelings of independence and control. Those who remain unsure
of their beliefs and desires will feel insecure and confused about themselves
and the future.

Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation

Young adults need to form intimate, loving relationships with other people.
Success leads to strong relationships, while failure results in loneliness and
isolation. This stage covers the period of early adulthood when people are
exploring personal relationships.

Erikson believed it was vital that people develop close, committed

relationships with other people. Those who are successful at this step will
form relationships that are enduring and secure.
Building On Earlier Stages
Remember that each step builds on skills learned in previous steps. Erikson
believed that a strong sense of personal identity was important for
developing intimate relationships. Studies have demonstrated that those
with a poor sense of self tend to have less committed relationships and are
more likely to struggler with emotional isolation, loneliness, and depression.
Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation

Adults need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often by
having children or creating a positive change that benefits other people.
Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure
results in shallow involvement in the world.

During adulthood, we continue to build our lives, focusing on our career and
family. Those who are successful during this phase will feel that they are
contributing to the world by being active in their home and community
Those who fail to attain this skill will feel unproductive and uninvolved in the
world.

Care is the virtue achieved when this stage is handled successfully. Being
proud of your accomplishments, watching your children grow into adults,
and developing a sense of unity with your life partner are important
accomplishments of this stage.

Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair

The final psychosocial stage occurs during old age and is focused on
reflecting back on life At this point in development, people look back on the
events of their lives and determine if they are happy with the life that they
lived or if they regret the things they did or didn't do.

Erikson's theory differed from many others because it addressed

development throughout the entire lifespan, including old age. Older adults
need to look back on life and feel a sense of fulfillment. Success at this stage
leads to feelings of wisdom, while failure results in regret, bitterness, and
despair.

At this stage, people reflect back on the events of their lives and take stock.
Those who look back on a life they feel was well-lived will feel satisfied and
ready to face the end of their lives with a sense of peace. Those who look
back and only feel regret will instead feel fearful that their lives will end
without accomplishing the things they feel they should have.
Outcomes

Those who are unsuccessful during this stage will feel that their life has been
wasted and may experience many regrets. The person will be left with
feelings of bitterness and despair.

Levinson's Theory
Psychologist Daniel Levinson developed a comprehensive theory of adult
development, referred to as the Seasons of Life theory, which identified
stages and growth that occur well into the adult years.
His theory is comprised of sequence-like stages. Each stage is shaped by an
event or action that leads into the next stage. The stages are:
1. Early Adult Transition (Age 17-22). This is the stage in which a person
leaves adolescence and begins to make choices about adult life. These
include choosing to go to college or enter the workforce, choosing to enter a
serious relationship, and choosing to leave home.
2. Entering the Adult World (Age 22-28). This is the stage in which a
person makes more concrete decisions regarding their occupation,
friendships, values, and lifestyles.
3. Age 30 Transitions (Age 28-33). In this stage, there are often lifestyle
changes that could be mild or more severe. For example, marriage or having
children impact one's lifestyle, and these changes have differing
consequences on how a person develops depending on how they embrace
the event.
4. Settling Down (Age 33-40). In this stage, one often begins to establish
a routine, makes progress on goals for the future, and begins behaving like
an adult. People in this stage are often parents or have more responsibilities.
5. Mid-Life Transition (Age 40-45). This time period is sometimes one of
crisis. A person begins to evaluate his or her life. Values may change, and
how society views these people may change also. Some people make drastic
life changes, such as divorce or a career change. At this point, people begin
thinking about death and begin to think about leaving a legacy.
6. Entering Middle Adulthood (Age 45-50). In this stage, choices must be
made about the future and possibly retirement. People begin to commit to
new tasks and continue to think about the legacy they are leaving.
7. Late Adulthood (Age 60+). In this stage, one begins to reflect on life
and the decisions they have made.
Levinson also indicated that each stage consists of two types of periods:

 The Stable Period, in which a person makes crucial choices in life.

  The Transitional Period, in which one stage ends and another
begins.

Unit 5
Socio emotional development
Meaning of emotions any emotion that depends on one’s appraisal or
consideration of another person’s thoughts, feelings, or actions. For example, pride
arises when one feels favorably evaluated by others and perceives concurrent gains in
one’s status and rank relative to those others, whereas shame arises from one’s feeling
poorly evaluated by others and perceiving losses in status and rank. Other commonly
studied social emotions include admiration, embarrassment, envy, guilt, and jealousy.
Recent neuroimaging studies reveal the involvement of the medial prefrontal cortex in
the processing of social emotions, with adolescents activating more lateral (anterior)
regions and adults more posterior (temporal) regions of the medial prefrontal cortex .

Emotional regulation
What is it?

Emotional regulation, sometimes called self-regulation, refers to the way we deal with
big feelings like anger, excitement, frustration, anxiety or low mood. Regulation skills
can be taught at home and at school. Some people need extra help from a professional
like a counsellor.
Big feelings like anger can be helpful because they prepare our bodies to fight when we
feel threatened. They can also help us get things done or speak up for our own needs.
The way we feel and show feelings are affected by many things including our gender,
culture and religion. For children and youth, anger can be a way to show strong
feelings. Anger or avoidance may be the only way they know how to show they are
frustrated or unhappy. 
How do I know?

At different stages of development, children and youth have different ways of showing
or acting on their feelings. It's important to remember that feelings of excitement,
anger or frustration, are all normal feelings; we all feel these emotions at times.

Meltdowns

Young children may have meltdowns when they are upset. They may cry, yell and
swing their arms and legs when they're asked to do something they don't want to do.
Children may also have meltdowns when they are having a hard time learning
something new, when they are tired, overstimulated or under stress.
 Most young children have meltdowns but usually "grow out" of them by about the age of
four. As they get older, they learn how to deal with big feelings and find better ways to
show their feelings.
Meltdowns are a problem if they:
 continue past age four
 are violent (the child hurts themself, other people or other things)
 happen often and last for a long time (longer than 15 minutes, more than 3 times a
day)
Problem meltdowns can show that a child needs help learning to manage and express
big feelings. They may also be a sign of physical or mental health challenges like
seizures, learning problems, autism spectrum disorder, or a mental illness like ADHD
(attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) or anxiety.
What can be done?

Children and youth can learn how to manage their feelings. Here are some things to try:

Tips for dealing with big feelings at home

Preventing a meltdown
 if a child seems close to having a meltdown, try to distract them. Remove them from
the situation or guide them to a less frustrating activity
 know your child and prepare for their reaction. What situations or events might trigger
a meltdown or make them lose control? Can the situation be avoided? If not, how can
you prepare your child?
 is there an unmet need you can meet?
 give simple choices,this gives the child confidence and may help lower frustration
 show them a safe space they can go to calm down
 set clear, reasonable expectations using simple language
 have predictable routines and rituals
 use a timer for transitions
 use visuals such as a schedule
During a meltdown
 stay calm and don’t take the behaviour personally
 be present, if needed it is okay to take a break from the situation (if it is safe to do so)
 assess why the child is upset
 speak calmly, have a clear message using simple language (such as “when you are
sitting on your bed we can talk”)
 ensure the environment is safe
 being calm and working through an upsetting situation can help you teach your child
strategies to handle frustration
After a meltdown
 praise the child when they calm down
 talk to the child about the situation and their experience
 ask your child about the feelings they experienced (you may need to help them put
words to their experience)
 problem-solve for the next time and create a calm-down plan 

Emotion regulation skills

Children learn how to deal with big feelings from parents or caregivers, so these are
skills the entire family can practice together:
 Problem-solving skills - anger and other “big feelings” give you energy to deal with
situations. Problem-solving skills help you use that energy to fix problems - not make
them worse by taking your anger out on others or keeping your anger bottled up
inside.
 Steps in problem-solving:
o figure out what the problem is from your child’s perspective
o share your concerns with your child
o work together to make a plan for next time
o put the plan into action
o look back to see what worked and what didn't work
 Assertiveness skills are a way of communicating your needs or feelings in a way that
respects everyone involved. An example is telling someone what you need without
acting like your needs are more important than their needs.
 Healthy thinking skills are about thinking in a balanced way. It means you look at situations
realistically. Look for things that support or don't support your feelings, and think about other things that
may have caused the situation. For example, you might feel very angry when a friend cancels plans,
and you tell yourself that your friend always backs out of plans and must not like you. But if you think
realistically - your friend usually doesn't back out of plans, they mentioned that they've been very busy
at work lately - you can see that your angry thoughts might not be balanced. 

Emotional competence describes the ability a person has to express his or her
own emotions with complete freedom, and it is derived from emotional
intelligence, which is the ability to identify emotions. Competence is the level
of skill with which someone interacts constructively with other people.
This personal emotional competence is based on a person’s recognition of
individual emotions and how emotions affect other people, and it is also based
on the ability to maintain emotional control and adapt. We must keep in mind
that a person has to be capable of understanding their personal emotions
before they evaluate the emotions of other people.
Social competence
 Another individual aspect of emotional competence is social
competence, which refers to empathy towards others. It encompasses
the skills we need to be successful in a work atmosphere and in
relationships. It is very important to use effective communication and to
know how to manage conflicts.
 Through emotional competence, human beings have the ability to react
to their personal emotions and those experienced by other people. An
individual can respond correctly when someone experiences emotions
like anger, fear, and pain.
 Recognizing one’s own emotions opens up the possibility of responding
properly to the emotions that other people experience. Without knowing
one’s own emotions, it is difficult to help or feel empathy for another. 

Health problems related to emotional competence

 It has been shown that internalizing emotions can lead to a
deterioration of the physical and mental health. This can include an
increase in stress levels, which can cause dangerous conditions like
hypertension, a rapid increase or loss in weight, or fatigue.
 Suppressing emotions can lead to depression and relationships with
other people can suffer to due emotional incompetence. Although there
are many kinds of emotional problems that can cause difficulties with
 emotional competence, emotional intelligence plays a significant role in
the ability that a person has to learn these skills.
 For those people who suffer from mental illnesses or problems that
interfere with their skills, it is important as an initial step to develop
emotional intelligence. When a person is capable of distinguishing
between one set of emotions and another, they can start to learn how to
apply these emotions to their daily life.

Kohlberg's theory
What Is Moral Development?
How do people develop morality? This question has fascinated parents,
religious leaders, and philosophers for ages, but moral development has also
become a hot-button issue in psychology and education. Do parental or
societal influences play a greater role in moral development? Do all kids
develop morality in similar ways?

American psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg developed one of the best-known

theories exploring some of these basic questions His work modified and
expanded upon Jean Piaget's previous work but was more centered on
explaining how children develop moral reasoning.

How did the two theories differ? Piaget described a two-stage process of
moral development Kohlberg extended Piaget's theory, proposing that moral
development is a continual process that occurs throughout the lifespan. His
theory outlines six stages of moral development within three different levels.

In recent years, Kohlberg's theory has been criticized as being Western-

centric with a bias toward men (he primarily used male research subjects)
and with having a narrow worldview based on upper-middle-class value
systems and perspectives

Stages of Moral Development

Kohlberg's theory is broken down into three primary levels. At each level of
moral development, there are two stages. Similar to how Piaget believed
that not all people reach the highest levels of cognitive development,
Kohlberg believed not everyone progresses to the highest stages of moral
development.

Level 1. Preconventional Morality

Preconventional morality is the earliest period of moral development. It lasts

until around the age of 9. At this age, children's decisions are primarily
shaped by the expectations of adults and the consequences for breaking the
rules. There are two stages within this level:

 Stage 1 (Obedience and Punishment): The earliest stages of moral

development, obedience and punishment are especially common in
young children, but adults are also capable of expressing this type of
reasoning. According to Kohlberg, people at this stage see rules as
fixed and absolute. Obeying the rules is important because it is a way
to avoid punishment.

 Stage 2 (Individualism and Exchange): At the individualism and

exchange stage of moral development, children account for individual
points of view and judge actions based on how they serve individual
needs. In the Heinz dilemma, children argued that the best course of
action was the choice that best served Heinz’s needs. Reciprocity is
possible at this point in moral development, but only if it serves one's
own interests.

Level 2. Conventional Morality

The next period of moral development is marked by the acceptance of social

rules regarding what is good and moral. During this time, adolescents and
adults internalize the moral standards they have learned from their role
models and from society.

This period also focuses on the acceptance of authority and conforming to

the norms of the group. There are two stages at this level of morality:

 Stage 3 (Developing Good Interpersonal Relationships): Often

referred to as the "good boy-good girl" orientation, this stage of the
interpersonal relationship of moral development is focused on living up
to social expectations and roles. There is an emphasis on conformity,
being "nice," and consideration of how choices influence relationships.

 Stage 4 (Maintaining Social Order): This stage is focused on

ensuring that social order is maintained. At this stage of moral
development, people begin to consider society as a whole when
 making judgments. The focus is on maintaining law and order by
following the rules, doing one’s duty, and respecting authority.

Level 3. Postconventional Morality

At this level of moral development, people develop an understanding of

abstract principles of morality. The two stages at this level are:

 Stage 5 (Social Contract and Individual Rights): The ideas of a

social contract and individual rights cause people in the next stage
to begin to account for the differing values, opinions, and beliefs of
other people. Rules of law are important for maintaining a society, but
members of the society should agree upon these standards.
 Stage 6 (Universal Principles): Kohlberg’s final level of moral
reasoning is based on universal ethical principles and abstract
reasoning. At this stage, people follow these internalized principles of
justice, even if they conflict with laws and rules.

Kohlberg believed that only a relatively small percentage of people ever

reach the post-conventional stages (around 10 to 15%) One analysis found
that while stages one to four could be seen as universal in populations
throughout the world, the fifth and sixth stages were extremely rare in all
populations.

Marcia’s Identity Statuses

Marcia used the term identity status to label and describe four unique developmental
identity stations or points. These are: identity diffusion, identity foreclosure, moratorium
and identity achievement. Each identity status represents a particular configuration of
youth's progress with regard to identity exploration and commitment to the values,
beliefs, and goals that contribute to identity. Though the different identity statuses are in
some sense progressive (in the sense that they flow one to the next), Marcia's theory
does not assume that every adolescent will pass through and experience all four identity
statuses. Some youth may experience only one or two identity statuses during
adolescence. Additionally, there is no assumption that a youth's identity status is
uniform across all aspects of their development. Youth may have different identity
statues across different domains such as work, religion, and politics. In this sense it is
possible for youth to have more than one identity status at a time. Furthermore, unlike
Erickson's stage theory, Marcia's theory accounts for multi-directional movement
between and among the various identity statuses. For instance, youth may experience a
traumatic event such as parental divorce, or a violent assault, which may cause them to
re-evaluate their understanding of the world and their value system. This type of crisis
may cause them to retreat to a previously enacted identity status as they integrate this
new information.
The first identity status, identity diffusion, describes youth who have neither explored
nor committed to any particular identity. Thus, this identity status represents a low level
of exploration and a low level of commitment. These adolescents haven't considered
their identity at all, and haven't established any life goals. They are reactive, passively
floating through life and dealing with each situation as it arises. Their primary motivation
is hedonic; the avoidance of discomfort and the acquisition of pleasure. By way of
illustration, consider the example of Tyler, who stumbled his way through high school
and graduated last year (but just barely). Tyler still doesn't know what he wants to do
with his life. In fact, he hasn't really given much thought at all to what he'd like to
accomplish. He hasn't applied to any colleges or technical schools. He still works part-
time at the pizza shop; a job he started while in high school so that he could have a little
extra spending money. He doesn't earn enough money to live on his own so he lives
with his parents, but he doesn't pay them any rent or even pay for his own groceries.
Nonetheless, he hasn't even considered applying for a better paying, full-time job.
Whenever his frustrated mother asks, "What are you doing with your life?" he just
mutters, "I dunno." Tyler hasn't even considered this question, and has no goals or
plans of any sort.

The second identity status is the identity foreclosure status. This identity status
represents a low degree of exploration but a high degree of commitment. At this identity
status adolescents are not actively trying to determine what is important to them. They
are not questioning the values and beliefs they have been taught. Instead, these youth
obtain their identity simply by accepting the beliefs and values of their family,
community, and culture. In a sense, they passively accept the identity assigned to them.
While these youth are committed to values and life goals assigned to them, they do not
question why they should be, nor do they consider any alternatives. For example,
Jasmine, 17, is applying to the same college that her mother and grandmother both
attended, and she has "decided" to major in elementary education. She really hasn't
thought about whether or not she wants to go to college, or what other colleges she
might like to attend. Nor has she considered any other career options besides
elementary school teacher. If asked about her plans she might say, "All the women in
my family became elementary teachers for a few years and then stayed home with their
own children. My mom and grandma seemed to do just fine, so it seems good enough
for me." Jasmine has accepted she will be just like all the other women in her family.
She has not questioned whether the life path chosen by the other women in her family
is acceptable to her, but simply accepts that her goal is to proceed according to the
usual and customary path of the women before her.

The third identity status is called moratorium. This identity status represents high degree
of exploration but a low degree of commitment. At this status, youth are in the midst of
an identity "crisis" which has prompted them to explore and experiment with different
values, beliefs, and goals. However, they have not made any final decisions about
which beliefs and values are most important to them, and which principles should guide
their lives. Thus, they are not yet committed to a particular identity. They are keeping
their options open. For example, Tim, 14, may suddenly begin to argue with his parents
about going to the Sunday worship service at the Methodist Christian Church, even
though he has attended this service with his family since childhood. Instead, he likes to
spend his timing reading about all the different world religions and plans to visit several
mosques, temples, and churches around the area to see what their worship services
are like. Or, he may question the logic of religion altogether, and he may even wonder
whether God exists at all. It is clear that Tim is not quite certain what he believes yet,
but he is actively exploring and considering what values, principles, and beliefs he
wants to live by.

The final identity status is identity achievement. This identity status represents both a
high degree of exploration and a high degree of commitment. Youth are said to have
achieved their identity by a process of active exploration and strong commitment to a
particular set of values, beliefs, and life goals that has emerged from this active
exploration and examination. At this identity status youth will have decided what values
and goals are most important to them, and what purpose, or mission will direct their life.
Youth at the identity achievement status are able to prioritize what is important to them
and have sorted through the many possibilities of who they want to be. They will have
experimented with many different beliefs and values, and analyzed their pathway in life.
To fully achieve this type of identity youth must feel positive and confident about their
decisions and values. For example, Miranda cast her vote for the presidential election
the very first year she was allowed to vote. But, she did so only after carefully
researching all the different candidates and their positions on issues that were important
to her. First, she gave a great deal of thought by considering her own beliefs and values
system. Next, she figured out which issues were most important to her based on her
beliefs and values. And finally, she determined which candidate best matched her
beliefs and values on the issues she considered most important.

As mentioned, these four identity statuses describe points along a continuum moving
from an initially diffuse, undefined individual identity to a highly specific and well-
defined, individual sense of self. Inherent in Marcia's theory is the assumption that a
mature and well-adjusted person possesses a well-defined and individually determined
identity. This assumption reflects an implicit set of values common to many developed
Western societies concerning the desirability of an individually defined identity; but, this
set of values may not be universally shared. In contemporary Western cultures, there is
a great value placed upon individual needs, rights, and freedoms. Therefore it is only
natural that such societies would define maturity in terms of a highly evolved sense of
an individual self. But some other cultures value the needs of the larger community over
any single individual. In such cultures, maturity is defined by the ability to subjugate
individual pursuits and desires in the service of the group's greater good. Ironically,
these cultures would consider the importance Westerners assign to individual identity
an indication of immaturity.

Love Stenberg
The triangular theory of love holds that love can be understood in terms of three components
that together can be viewed as forming the vertices of a triangle.  The triangle is used as a
metaphor, rather than as a strict geometric model.  These three components are intimacy,
passion, and decision/commitment. Each component manifests a different aspect of love. 

Intimacy.   Intimacy refers to feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in loving

relationships.  It thus includes within its purview those feelings that give rise, essentially, to the
experience of warmth in a loving relationship. 

  Passion.  Passion refers to the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual
consummation, and related phenomena in loving relationships.  The passion component
includes within its purview those sources of motivational and other forms of arousal that lead
to the experience of passion in a loving relationship.

  Decision/commitment.  Decision/commitment refers, in the short-term, to the decision that

one loves a certain other, and in the long-term, to one's commitment to maintain that love. 
These two aspects of the decision/commitment component do not necessarily go together, in
that one can decide to love someone without being committed to the love in the long-term, or
one can be committed to a relationship without acknowledging that one loves the other person
in the relationship. 

Types of Love
The three components of love interact in a systemic manner. The presence of a
component of love or a combination of two or more components create seven
kinds of love experiences. These types of love may vary over the course of a
relationship as well.
Friendship

This type of love is when the intimacy or liking component is present, but feelings
of passion or commitment in the romantic sense are missing. Friendship love can
be the root of other forms of love
Infatuation

Infatuation is characterized by feelings of lust and physical passion without liking and commitment. There has not been enough
time for a deeper sense of intimacy, romantic love, or consummate love to develop. These may eventually arise after the
infatuation phase. The initial infatuation is often very powerful

Empty Love

Empty love is characterized by commitment without passion or intimacy. At times, a strong love deteriorates into empty love.
The reverse may occur as well. For instance, an arranged marriage may start out empty but flourish into another form of love
over time

Romantic Love
Romantic love bonds people emotionally through intimacy and physical passion. Partners in this type of relationship have deep
conversations that help them know intimate details about each other. They enjoy sexual passion and affection. These couples may
be at the point where long-term commitment or future plans are still undecided
Companionate Love

Companionate love is an intimate, but non-passionate sort of love. It includes the intimacy or liking component and the
commitment component of the triangle. It is stronger than friendship, because there is a long-term commitment, but there is
minimal or no sexual desire. 

This type of love is often found in marriages where the passion has died, but the couple continues to have deep affection or a
strong bond together. This may also be viewed as the love between very close friends and family members

Fatuous Love

In this type of love, commitment and passion are present while intimacy or liking is absent. Fatuous love is typified by a
whirlwind courtship in which passion motivates a commitment without the stabilizing influence of intimacy. Often, witnessing
this leaves others confused about how the couple could be so impulsive. Unfortunately, such marriages often don't work out.
When they do, many chalk the success up to luck

Consummate Love

Consummate love is made up of all three components and is the total form of love. It represents an ideal relationship. Couples
who experience this kind of love have great sex several years into their relationship. They cannot imagine themselves with
anyone else. They also cannot see themselves truly happy without their partners. They manage to overcome differences and face
stressors together.