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Psychological Differences Between Men and

Women

Yangdi Xu

Dunn School's upcoming senior

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Psychological Differences Between Men and Women and Why This Matter

Introduction

When men and women observe the same event, their interpretations of the incident often

are to different conclusions. This can sometimes be attributed to one's psychological makeup. As

Griet Vandermassen (2011) asserts, “human males and females should have evolved to be

psychologically identical, which is, however, not only a theoretical impossibility but also turns

out to be untrue” (2011). Indeed, the recognition and expression of emotions exhibit great

differences between genders, which could be influenced by evolutionary biology, socio-cultural

tendencies, and physiological differences. Moreover, the psychological differences are

profoundly reflected in the interaction between the two genders. This essay will, hence, be

focused on the aforementioned differences and the root causes of those differences, as well as

their implications in relationship scenarios. Through this essay, I will reveal the idea that

psychological gender differences do exist, of which we all should be aware, and at the same

time, these differences should not amount to any type of discrimination or stereotypes toward

any gender.

Emotional Expression

Women are often labeled as more emotional than men, which is not fully accurate. Women

are only more emotional under certain circumstances, and this fact can be explained by societal

impact and biological structure. As suggested in the following inquiries, women, more complex

and conflicted than they appear, and men, more consistent but not without self-inflicted

struggles, are both shaped by biological and sociocultural influences.

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One possible explanation for the common misunderstanding of women as being more

emotional than men is that women tend to express their emotions more, especially through facial

expressions. According to Becker and Kenrick’s research, women do display higher smiling

frequencies than men (2007). However, in most situations, women’s high frequency of smiling

occurs when they are expected to smile more (LaFrance, Hecht, & Paluck, 2003). Hence, social

compliance and the willingness to meet social expectations may play a large role in the common

perception of women here. In addition, female smiles are often recorded as being an appeal to

males and enhancing their physical attractiveness and sex appeal (Kret&Gelder, 2012), which

can also account for more smiles being seen among females, at least not just because they are

more emotional.

Though women do express more emotions, especially positive ones, they also harbor a

greater amount of internalized emotions than men. Those include the emotions of guilt,

embarrassment, sadness, shame, and fear (Else-Quest et al., 2012). As a result, women often

score higher in neuroticism1 (Schmitt et al., 2008) than men, which could explain more stress and

anxiety under adverse circumstances.

Nevertheless, men are more inclined to externalize certain emotions (Chaplin, 2013)

compared to women. For example, according to Potegal, men generally express more anger.

Men’s higher expressions of anger are especially recognized from ages 7 to 8 (Potegal & Archer,

2004). Men’s anger is also more likely to be expressed through aggressive behaviors than

women's. The reasons behind this are worth investigating. In the current socio-cultural context,

anger and aggression in men are perceived to be socially acceptable. Men who express more

1 Neuroticism is the trait disposition to experience negative affects, including anger, anxiety, self‐
consciousness, irritability, emotional instability, and depression. Persons with elevated levels of
neuroticism respond poorly to environmental stress, interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and can
experience minor frustrations as hopelessly overwhelming (Widiger 2017)
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aggressiveness are more likely to be viewed as being more positive and more attractive (Hareli &

Shomrat & Hess, 2009). Other than cultural influence, high levels of testosterone are also a

potential explanation for aggressiveness in men. Testosterone could interact with vasopressin,

which leads to fight and flight reactions, a typical aggressive behavior. The third contributing

factor to more aggressiveness and more externalized emotions in men is that they

psychologically tend to possess a higher level of self-esteem (Josephs & Markus & Tafarodi,

1992; Bachman & Patrick,1977). From adolescence to manhood, males on average tend to have

higher levels of self-esteem than women worldwide. High self-esteem makes men more

confident to express their emotions.

In conclusion, women are expected to, and indeed, show more facial expressions for certain

emotions, such as frequent smiling, out of the need to meet social expectations and attract males,

potentially. They also tend to internalize guilt and fear, which does warrant a certain self-

awareness, meaning that women might benefit from talking out aloud some of their guilt, fear,

and embarrassment and working them through instead of getting hurt internally and silently.

Men, on the other hand, tend to disclose more anger and aggression, which is also in a way

expected and even encouraged by society. One might argue that allowing males to show

vulnerability when frustrated rather than using anger to channel frustration goes a long way

toward a wholesome being. Their ease of expression brought about by a high level of self-esteem

could also contribute to their successful channeling of negative emotions. Overall, an

understanding of each gender’s expressiveness towards certain emotions could shed light on

improving their coping mechanisms and guide them through emotional turmoil, instead of just

assuming that women are more emotional and men aggressive.

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Self-awareness and Awareness of Others’ Emotions

Firstly, based on a study by Tasha Eurish, women’s self-awareness is slightly higher than

men’s (2019). Other direct reports from Eurish using feedback from peers showed similar

results. The reasons were not explored by Eurish but one might argue that caretaking of young

children, the evolutionary charge of women, could explain the high level of awareness exhibited

in females. Men, on the other hand, tend to default to physical remedies instead of self-reflection

when encountering stress and victimization (Kret & Gelder, 2012). Again, evolutionary biology

could offer a potential explanation. Namely, men, in charge of hunting, could reap more benefits

from physical activities than from being aware of certain human emotions.

When it comes to each gender's reactions to other people’s emotions, women, in general,

also tend to have an edge. Unlike men, women have a larger beta response when observing facial

expressions as compared to men (Guntekin & Basar, 2007). Specifically, females are better at

recognizing facial expressions of fear and sadness (Nowicki & Hartigan, 1988). In fearful

recognition, females show a greater extent of amygdala activity and more activeness in the left

amygdala than males (Williams et al., 2005). Men, in contrast, are better at recognizing the angry

faces in males over females (Goos & Silverman, 2002). Thus, more activities of the right

amygdala occur in men’s brains when recognizing dynamic anger (Schneider et al., 2011) as

compared to women. With a better recognition of fear and sadness, women are more sensitive to

the turbulence of the outside world, and, therefore, tend to be more anxious and lack security,

which in turn could explain the greater level of internalization of the aforementioned emotions.

In summary, women are generally better at emotional recognition of others, especially in

the fear and sadness categories. Women are also more aware of their own negative emotions, and
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the impact of those negative emotions also lasts longer in women. Conversely, men are better at

recognizing anger emotions, especially other males. Also, men’s negative emotions are of a

shorter duration, and, instead of bearing the sadness, they more often express them through

physical or verbal ways.

Relationships

There is a certain famous saying — “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” (John

Gray,1997).

A cliché, yes. But nevertheless a somehow adequate statement in describing the

discrepancies in the different approaches to romantic relationships.

Women are more insecure, and men are more avoidant, according to the three types of

relationship models in Working Models2. With such an immense difference, one is constantly

attracted to the other. The reasons and implications behind this fact are worth an investigation.

As a result of their stronger stress reaction, women are more likely to seek help and

support when experiencing negative emotions (Tamres et al., 2002) and hence favor closeness in

relationships. They are more likely to participate in dyadic relationships. On the other hand, men

show a less favorable attitude toward close emotional connections with friends and support-

seeking actions, which can be related to their high self-pride (Kret & Gelder, 2012). Their high

self-esteem makes them view the action of seeking support as detracting from their manhood. In

addition, men prefer group friendships, instead of dyadic relationships, that likely involve

hierarchical selection.

2 Working Model is a mental representation formed through a child’s early experiences with their
primary caregiver (Li,2022)
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Similar to friendships, men and women also display great differences in how they approach

their romantic relationships and breakups, including their mindset during and after relationships.

In relationships, men display more self-worth in their emotional states and happiness (Soller,

2014). Men are also more likely to grow into a “player” identity due to the impact of the culture.

Similarly, men more normally view the romantic relationship as a game that includes “one’s

cultural repertoire involving habits, styles, and scripts” (Soller, 2014). In addition, more

sexuality will be involved in their relationships than women, which can be explained from

numerous perspectives. Higher testosterone levels in men are one of the most relevant

explanations. Sexual-relational, stress-mood, and body-embodiment levels can also be

responsible for the strong sexual desire in men.

. Conversely, women tend to prefer sustainable and authentic relationships. One well-

established fact is that women form psychological bonds with the fetus during pregnancy due to

hormonal changes. Such bonds refocus their emotional goals on maintaining longer

relationships. Moreover, after suffering inauthenticity3 in a relationship, women are more likely

to experience higher stress levels than men. Davis, Shaver, and Vernon’s experiment shows that

even in grown-up relationships, women were more likely to experience intense emotional

involvement in breakups than men. The general stress caused by inauthenticity in breakups can

be classified into three types: depression, suicide ideation, and suicide attempt. Based on Soller’s

experiment, an one standard deviation increase in romantic relationship inauthenticity caused a

29% increase in the odds of severe depression, a 21% increase in the odds of suicide ideation,

and a 30% increase in the odds of attempting suicide in women (2014). However, men show no

significant increase in all three types of stress.

3 Inauthenticity - the extent of incongruence between one's thoughts, feeling, and actions within romantic
context (Soller,2015)
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This investigation is far from settled, but one could argue that the different expressions of

emotion and recognition of oneself and others' emotions, result in different actions and mindsets

of each gender in all relationships.

Conclusion

Exploration of the psychological differences between the genders reveals that, while

women tend to display higher levels of emotional expression, the intensity of emotion is

dependent on the situation and type of emotion. Women outwardly display positive emotions

while men display feelings of anger. Social expectations and different hormone levels may be

responsible for this phenomenon. However, in general, women tend to harbor more internalized

emotions than men, who display their emotions externally. In terms of recognition of emotions, it

is clear that women are more attuned to discovering and recognizing people’s emotions in

contrast to men, especially those depicted through facial expressions. Women also possess a

higher degree of self-awareness as compared to men. Evolution theory and the biological

formation of the body play a great role here. When it comes to romantic relationships, men and

women have different expectations and goals as well.

In the words of Simone Beauvoir, “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” The

same goes for men. This meta-research essay is not intended to form stereotypes around genders

but rather to render full awareness of the existence of the differences. To know is to act. This

knowledge could potentially help each gender tap into their specific advantages, live up to their

potential, and face their innate shortcomings.

Even though the individual-level idiosyncrasies are not explored in this paper, they should

not be ignored when we try to apply this conclusion to a particular case. There are exceptions, as
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always. We should, therefore, explore and apply the differences in each gender with the

existence of individuals idiosyncrasies in mind.

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