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Marriage is a Private Affair

Chinua Achebe’s short story, “Marriage is a Private Affair” is about two young lovers

Nnaemeka and NeNe. The two fall in love despite having come from different tribes that have

varying cultures. The difference in cultures for the two tribes creates a conflict mostly due to the

different beliefs for the old and young generations. I deeply loved Chinua Achebe’s work,

“Marriage is a Private Affair” due to the way he demonstrates the theme of personal freedom and

conflict.

In my view, the main theme of this story is personal independence. On things that are of

personal interest such as marriage, personal opinion has to be most prioritized rather than giving

in to other people’s opinions and wishes. Okeke fails to approve NeNe as his son’s wife because

of tribal differences. Okeke’s opinion does not stop his son from marrying NeNe because he

knows what makes him happy. Personal independence helps him to save his relationship since he

realizes that love is a private affair between the couple in love. The statement “the old man at

once felt the resolution he had built up over so many years falling in” (Chinua, p.1) shows the

father’s disappointment.

The theme of conflict is demonstrated when Nnaemeka finally informed Okeke that he

was engaged to NeNe and could not marry Ugoye a girl whom Okeke had chosen for his son to
marry. Okeke becomes furious because he couldn’t imagine his son marrying another woman

and especially from a different tribe. Okeke does not pay attention to his son’s opinions. When

the conflict between the two increases Okeke disowns Nnaemeka as his son for marrying an

outsider. Chinua demonstrates the level of conflict through a statement, Nnaemeka saw there was

no hope along the present argument line” (Chinua, p.1).

The two themes of personal independence make this story much interesting, the author

uses the themes to deliver his message successfully. This analysis has helped me to learn the

importance of prioritizing my opinions on matters that are of personal interest and also

enlightened me on how to deal with conflicts.

 Work cited

Achebe, Chinua. "Marriage Is a Private Affair." Girls at War and Other Stories: London:

Heinemann (1982).