BEATING THE POLICE

INTERROGATION
BY ANONYMOUS
COPYRIGHT © 2012. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,

photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under

section 107-4108 of the 1876 United States Copyright Act, without either the

prior written permission of the Publisher or authorization for payment of the

appropriate per–copy fee outlined in Amazon’s Kindle Agreement.

Disclaimer: This book is not legal advice and is solely for amusement

purposes. If you need legal advice, you are strongly encouraged to contact an

attorney who specializes in this area law and who is licensed in your state to

provide legal advice.

FORWARD

I wrote this book many years ago when I was a police

detective in Florida. Unfortunately, it sat forgotten and idle

since then, and I never did anything with it.

I recently rediscovered its electronic manuscript, and

after reading it, I realized there is a wealth of information

contained within it that is truly useful to anyone interested

in how police officers and detectives conduct

interrogations. Additionally, you never really know when

you or a loved one might be falsely accused of a crime,

and when it happens, it is usually far too late to try to

figure out what is going on.

I talked police officers with the state of Florida calls

Interviews & Interrogations, or sometimes, Investigative

Interviewing. It all comes down to this, no matter what you

call it: Making you confess to a crime by using advanced

psychological techniques against you.

Unfortunately, those same techniques have been

scientifically proven to cause false confessions too. We

have seen this in the Central Park Jogger case, and the

Innocence Project, which uses scientific DNA testing to

clear people of crimes that they did not commit, has

proven that many innocent people who have sat on death

rows for decades usually gave false confessions because

they succumbed to the psychological tools.

I am no longer a police officer, and I no longer teach

interrogation techniques. I also have the highest respect

for police officers, but I also realize that the game is

unfairly stacked in law enforcement's favor.

I hope you enjoy this book. When reading it, I realized

just how much I loved interviewing people, and how much

fun I had writing the damn book. It is almost as if I was

telling a dirty secret.

One last thing: I am not an attorney, and this is not

legal advice. If you have a legal problem, please consult

an attorney who is licensed in your state and specializes in

your particular area of concern. This book is for

amusement purposes only, nothing more, and if I were

you, I would hope that you never ever have to sit in the

same room with an interrogator. If that happens to you, I

hope the only words out of your mouth are, “I want my

attorney, right now!”

INTRODUCTION

I performed interrogations for years and taught the subject

in police academies. Usually it was a satisfying experience,

using Jedi Mind Tricks against your opponent and finally

winning in the end. It also tends to make you a cold, ruthless

opportunist who looks for weaknesses in opponents so you can

exploit those weaknesses in order to succeed. I was a

professional liar and betrayer of confidences by trade.

Interrogation itself can be defined as a sophisticated process of

befriending and betraying others at their weakest moments.

Nevertheless, every now and then, a little humanity would

slip though the coldness and I would think: If this guy only

knew what I am doing, he'd never confess. He'd be out of here

like a fucking bat out of hell, laughing all the way. Not that I

feel bad when I won, but sometimes, I’d wonder if the game

could be made, you know, more interesting? Like suppose you

took a handicap going into an interrogation by giving your

opponent a peek at the mechanics of how you operate?

After a while, I put my morals aside and decided to make the

game harder on my own. So I wrote this book, which is

probably as definitive a source on how interrogators operate as

any in the world.

This book contains no bullshit. The stories I tell are true, and

the methods I relate are factual. In a world full of high priced

attorneys who are out to get your money, and cops who are out

to put your ass in prison, I have crossed an undefined border to

emerge as your unlikely savior if you are accused of a crime.

Remember these three principles, before we walk into my

world:

1. Admit Nothing.

2. Deny Everything.

3. Demand Proof.
Your journey begins.
CHAPTER ONE: TRUST NO ONE

First off, realize this: I am not exactly a traitor to my

former profession because I am giving you this information. I

have had to tell this information for years in trials, depositions,

and in official reports.

Nothing the police do is truly secret; in the end, it all comes

out anyway. Usually, though, the tricks we use to get

confessions from citizens trickles out a little at a time. Here, in

one big flood, you'll be getting everything I have spent years

learning and perfecting by attending “police only” schools and

seminars. And of course, by practicing upon others like you. In

the end, I got so good the Florida Department of Law

Enforcement (FDLE) certified me to teach other law

enforcement officers these tricks recruited me, and I taught

these same tricks to police officers at three police academies.

Now, I will teach you how to recognize the tricks-of-the-trade,

and in some cases, how to turn them against the interrogator.

Forget everything you have learned from television about

how the police work. Forget about the stylized novels you have

read, such as “Serpico.” Forget about the criminal justice

courses you slept through in college. All of that is just

someone's idea about how police work should be, but it is

nothing more than that.

Real police work is nothing like you imagine. Before I

became a cop, I watched all the shows, read all the books, and

attended college where I took major course work in criminal

justice. When I hit the streets, I found out 90% of that stuff was

bullshit. The first rule of surviving the police interrogation is

never thinking the cops are dumb. If you fall into that trap, you

are lost. The interrogator you encounter who seems like an oaf

may be presenting a carefully constructed facade designed to

lure you into feeling comfortable.

 If you are crazy enough to go out and commit a crime,

chances are you are not going to be reading this book to

begin with and you already think you know all the answers.

My colleagues and I refer to your types as “jailhouse

lawyers.” The problem with a jailhouse lawyer, though, he

is always in jail, so how reliable is his information?

Real lawyers are sometimes not much better. The best

advice they will usually give you is, “Don't talk to the police

unless I'm there!” Every time I think of that line, I laugh

and remember the lawyer who stupidly allowed his client to

confess to murdering her boyfriend to me while the lawyer

sat two feet away listening (by the time the warrior realized

what had occurred, it was too late, and his client’s

confession put her in prison). You see, the lawyer was

gullible enough to think I was trying to help his client

prepare a self-defense case (more on that case later).

If, however, you think you might find yourself in a fix

somewhere down the road and remember nothing else

that I have to offer, remember this: Don't tell anyone

anything about any crimes you’ve committed.

TRUST NO ONE

If I were your lawyer, I would charge you a few hundred

dollars an hour for that advice. My point is this: Avoid the

playing (and paying) of the Expensive Lawyer Game if you can

by staying out of the system. The Expensive Lawyer Game

involves only one thing: charging you for “billable hours.”

IT’S NOT WHO YOU KNOW, IT’S WHO KNOWS YOU

If I were to investigate you for anything, I would not talk to

you first. I would talk to everyone you know. I would find out

what you like to eat, drink, and wear. I'd know the type of

women (or men) you prefer, amount of money you make, how

much you spend, and other such information.

Assuming I have the time to do these things (aN d police

generally do), I'd amass a great deal of information about you.

If I am lucky, you have probably talked to someone about the

thing for which I'm investigating you, who probably told

somebody else, who in turn ran his mouth. The list goes on.

All I have to do is find the weak link in the chain, snap it and

then garrote you with the information I have learned. Then you

and I will talk. Moreover, it is all because you were stupid

enough to run your mouth instead of being quiet about your

mistake.
 Not only that, but I would know so much about you, that for

your interrogation I'd pretend to be just like you! I would

pretend I like the same foods, hobbies, women, and cars. I was

not above pretending to be a child molester (if you are), or a

Neo-Nazi, if that is your cup of tea. You see, the more similar

you perceive me to be to you, the easier it is for you to confess

to me. If your thing is molesting little girls, I'd tell you that I've

had fantasies about the same thing. Anything you are, I will be.

I might even try to be better at it, just so you think that you are

not so bad.

It is amazing to me, but the fact is that people always talk

about the things they do, legal, or otherwise. It's a fatal flaw in

the human psyche that the police have become experts in

exploiting. Do not ever talk about the illegal things you have

done, to anyone, ever. Furthermore, the less people know about

you, the better. If an interrogator looks at you, you want to be a

blank piece of generic paper to him. If he knows a lot about

you, his job becomes a lot easier.

Police interrogation methods are such a hot commodity that

companies such as John E. Reid & Associates in Chicago and

Interrotec in Florida have made it their business to find out

what makes people confess, and they have done so well at it

that they share the information with anyone willing to pay their

fee for training. Among their paying customers are notables

such as the Secret Service, Federal Bureau of Investigation,

AT&T., BellSouth, and other people interested in making you

tell what you know. Police academies teach their officers these

same techniques.

This might include the local “Officer Friendly” who stops

you for driving after having one too many drinks some night

(Ted Bundy was caught that way). The techniques taught and

used by these people are extremely sophisticated and have been

compared to brainwashing – but they are still legal.

 What you do or do not say to these “inquiring minds” may

mean the difference between your freedom and an extended

visit to the “Graybar Hotel” (jail), not to mention a fun whirl at

playing the Expensive Lawyer Game, where all the chips on the

table are yours, and the game is always rigged in the house’s

favor.

I hope that at the end of this book you will know what to say

and do if confronted with a police (or other) interrogator. If you

still fuck up, it's your fault. If you do, bring your soap on a rope

to the Graybar Hotel – dropping it has severe consequences.

You can choose to believe me about these things or pay the

price later.

REMEMBER: TRUST NO ONE

CHAPTER TWO: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

You must assume that prior him to entering a interrogation,

the interrogator has at least some knowledge of your activities,

although probably not enough to prove his case. Nevertheless,

he will know some things about your life, and in the

interrogation game, knowledge is everything.

If the interrogator knows even a little about you, he will use

this information to try to exert psychological pressure on you to

force you to confess (sometimes whether you committed the

crime or not). The interrogator will take this knowledge, and

use it to imply he has much more knowledge than he actually

does. This concept can work both ways, though; if you know the

methods and techniques he uses to exert psychological pressure,

they will lose their effectiveness to a large degree.

The first thing you must understand is how the interrogator

will try to gather information about you.

 The interrogator will often go to easiest sources of

information first, those he has the most access to. Usually this

consists of a criminal history and driver's license check.

The criminal history check will tell a lot about you. If you

are clean, and have never been arrested, then the interrogator

learns nothing. But if you have been arrested, he then has your

fingerprint classification, last known address, any aliases you

use and lots of other personal information. He also has a list of

what you have been arrested on before. This helps the

interrogator because it boosts his self-confidence; if he is

investigating you for a burglary, and you have been arrested for

burglary in the past, he'll figure he's on the right track.

There are other sources of information that can be tapped,

such as pawnshop records (a personal favorite of mine),

telephone bills, and the ever-popular dumpster dive, to name a

few.
 Pawnshops are required by law to maintain records of every

transaction, and with the advent of computers, a thorough

investigator will be able to tell such facts as what stuff you

pawn, when you do it, if do your funds dry up during a certain

time of month? Are your criminal activities (like burglary)

escalating? In my division, we would not arrest you the first

time you pawned a stolen item. We’d wait for you to pick up

steam and get cocky. Then we would have LOTS of evidence to

hang you with come interrogation time.

Telephones – particularly cell phones – are GOLDMINES

of information. There is so much information stored within

those detailed bills, it is incredible. Not only can I learn whom

you call, but when you do it, and when you are most active.

Think of it this way: once I get the names of everyone you call,

I know who to talk to before I talk to you. Not only that, but a

good telephone bill can assist me in setting up a flow-chart that

shows me who is who in your personal and professional life. If I

want to get even craftier, I’ll listen in on your conversations

(wireless phone conversations are notoriously easy to eavesdrop

upon) while parked a block away from your house. I will not

even talk about Facebook, pictures, and videos of the event to

encourage you not to disclose anything on social media that you

would not want your worst enemy to know about you.

One of the best sources of information, though, is your own

trashcan. Think of all the information you throw out

everyday… I get to know what you eat, the places you shop, the

(legal and illegal) drugs you take, what you read, your

approximate educational level (are you smarter than me or less

of a challenge? If you read Scientific American or Psychology

Today, I will rate you as more challenging an opponent than

someone who exclusively reads Guns & Ammo), and criminal

sophistication. (I’ve often busted druggies who, while

sometimes bright people, do incredibly unsophisticated

mistakes, such as throwing out paraphernalia… which lead to a

search warrant, and lo and behold, a bunch of arrests.)

Interrogators love to share information with one another,

because it guarantees that they will get information when they

need it some other time.

Your driver's license history will tell the interrogator some

things about your character. People who commit crimes often

have many traffic tickets. This probably has something to do

with the risk-taking attitude that accompanies illegal behavior.

If your license is suspended, and you still drive around, it may

give the interrogator a chance to arrest you and interrogate you

about other things in which he is interested. In addition, tickets

and traffic offenses can also help pinpoint your whereabouts.

The Boston Strangler was caught because a search of traffic

tickets in the area of those murders found that the Strangler had

illegally parked nearby. Ted Bundy was caught driving drunk in

Florida, and that was the end of his killing spree.

 If the interrogator does not feel he has enough information

through his in-house sources, then he has to go outside his

agency. Sometimes this information comes to him. I've seen

many a person burned by his friends and loved ones, who are

willingly to “narc” him out for whatever malicious reason.

Most of the time, though, the interrogator has to search for the

information himself.

The information the interrogator is seeking is not always that

of a criminal nature. Often he just wants background

information on you, so that he is able to establish rapport in the

interrogation that will occur later. Alternatively, he wants to

examine pieces of the larger puzzle that constitute your life. To

get the information he needs, he will go to those most directly

involved in your life.

Employers can provide time cards and dates that you

worked, and the salary you earn. They can usually the police the

names of your friends, which leads the interrogator to other

sources of information.

Neighbors are the nosiest people on earth, I have found. If I

want information on a person, I simply find a senior citizen in

your neighborhood and ask the questions I need answers to. If

they do not have the answers, I leave them a camera and tape

recorder: By the end of the week, I would know everything you

do at home, who visits you and what vehicles are at your house.

Moreover, somebody always is willing to cooperate with the

police to put your ass in jail.

If the interrogator learns of ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, he

will exploit them to no end. The reason they are not in your life

now is usually due to strife between the two of you in the past.

This leads to endless possibilities, believe me. These people are

the ones who are willing to wear hidden tape recorders and

testify against you in court, if you are stupid enough to confess

to them. Is not it funny that you really loved them at one time?
How is that for irony?

Beware of anyone you know who has gone to jail, or been

interrogated recently. If they start coming around to your place

acting friendly and asking questions, your “buddy” has

probably turned informant. The same cautionary statement I

gave you in Chapter 1 is applicable here: Never tell anyone

about the things you've done, and keep your personal life as

secret as possible. Always assume that if you tell someone

something that it is going to be repeated at least three times to

other people, who will in turn repeat some or all of that

information to someone else. In addition, it may eventually

work its way back to me. The police pay out money to

informants quite regularly, to the tune of hundreds of thousands

of dollars a year in some departments.

The interrogator will also explore other means of gathering

information about you. For example, suppose I did not have

your address or telephone number, and I needed it? All I would

need to know is what part of the city you hang out in. You will

not live more than 10 miles away from your favorite hangouts,

in most circumstances. Most people do not want to drive more

than an hour to get anywhere. How could I use that information

to get more? Here are a few examples:

1. Check the local video stores. Have you ever rented a video?

You probably have. Video stores usually have lots of

information on their customers, because they do not want to

lose their movies. In fact, some even require that you give

them a credit card number. Credit cards give me a paper trail

to follow you by. I'd know where you shopped for gas,

bought gifts and ate dinner out.

2. Garbage companies and utility companies also keep lots of

interesting data.

3. Newspapers usually keep a database of anyone whose name

ever appeared in their paper. This is so they can contact them

 if they ever “become news worthy.” Have you ever wondered

about how the media can locate people so easily? Simple: If

you have ever been in a car wreck, had a death in the family

or appeared in a news clip, chances are I can locate you

through a newspaper's computer files. You may even

subscribe to the local newspaper (in which case they already

have your address — which means I can get it from them).

4. Pawnshops also keep amazing records about their

customers, both sellers and buyers. Most states have laws

requiring they report that information to the police every

week.

5. Pizza companies are great. Everyone loves pizza. I’ll know

where you live, the toppings you like, and approximately

how many people live with you since few people eat more

than one large pizza by themselves (I always calculated one

large pizza equals one to two people).

 Once I find out where you live, I can do many other

wonderful things to fuck up your life:

1. Raid your garbage. Think of all the information about

yourself that you throw out daily. I can find out a lot about

you from your garbage. I shred mine, personally. I don't

want people to get my credit card number, or know who my

relatives are, how much money I have in the bank, or read

my mail.

2. Call the telephone company and find out how long you've

been living there, and if you have any funny devices such as

Caller ID attached to your phone. They love to cooperate!

3. Tap your phone, if a judge allows me to. And sometimes

cops don't even ask permission from the judge... They just do

it. Even though it is illegal, it has happened.

4. If you use a cellular and/or portable telephone, I do not

even need to tap it. All I have to do is sit a couple blocks

 away and use a scanner to pick up your conversations.

Cellular telephones and portable telephones are nothing but

radio transmitters. If you know the frequency, you can listen

in. Think about everything you talk about. If you've ever

committed a crime, have you talked about it over a

telephone? That is a big mistake.

If the interrogator cannot get information from sources close

to you, he may get even bolder. He may call you to get what he

needs!

For example, during a narcotics investigation, I needed to

determine how many people lived in a certain house and its

layout. I did not have this information, because nobody I knew

had ever been inside it. I had gotten a warrant to raid it by

“stealing” its garbage cans. Inside the garbage cans were things

such as the remains of some joints, drug paraphernalia, some

marijuana stems, leaves and seeds. Lovely stuff and enough to

justify a warrant to kick in the door and search the place.

 However, it is not safe to just kick in a door unless you know

where you are going once inside - it just isn't done that way. So

I called the house, and I spoke to a very cooperative lady who

told me everything about the house, including how many people

lived there and the layout of the place. Why did she do that?

Because yours truly pretended to be a representative from a

major grocery-chain that needed help with a survey.

In reward for her answers, I told her I would send her a

hundred dollars worth of food coupons. What she got was a

kicked-in door, and a free ride to the Graybar Hotel. All

expenses paid, except for the obligatory fee needed to play the

Expensive Lawyer Game. If I did not get that information, we

might not have raided the house until the next night. If that

were the case, we would have missed the dope they were getting

ready to move that night.

I have even found out when suspects had dope in their

homes, by pretending to be a reporter from High Times

magazine. People tell “reporters” almost anything! Here is a

recap of what we’ve discussed:

Never answer phone surveys...

Never reveal anything to anyone about your life that

you don't want used against you.

Knowledge is about you truly a powerful tool for the

police.

NOW GET READY TO MEET AND BEAT THOSE WHO
WOULD USE THAT KNOWLEDGE AGAINST YOU.
CHAPTER THREE: BEATING OFFICER FRIENDLY

Officer Friendly is the likeiest interrogator most citizens

will encounter in daily life. He is also the most dangerous,

because he is the beginning of the criminal justice process. If

you can avoid him, you will also avoid a large part of your

problems. As you may have guessed, “Officer Friendly” is the

police officer who probably drives past you every day as you

move around town. Generally, you will only encounter Officer

Friendly in two ways:

1. You find him, because you called him to come to where

you are to sort out a problem.

2. He finds you, because he perceives you are a problem.

While the first situation normally does not present a problem

for most people, you should consider some things:

First, most cops are just like you. Just because they go
 to work each day does not mean they want to be there.

Having to come into your life and solve your problems

is a low priority in his life. It is also a source of

frustration at times. While your problem is important to

you, to him it is just part of an endless stream of whining

he hears almost daily. Now, an excellent way for him to

relieve his frustrations is to take someone to jail. If the

occasion arises, he may take you.

So long as you do not set off any alarms in Officer Friendly's

little mind, you should be okay. Be polite, and give just the

facts of whatever you are reporting. Be careful though! If you

occasionally live life on the edge, you may have a warrant out

for your arrest, a suspended driver's license or something else

that you do not want Officer Friendly to discover. If you call

him to your house, have the common courtesy to hide evidence

of illegal activity, like drug paraphernalia (I have gone to

houses for domestic disturbances where cocaine was sitting on

the coffee table. Would you care to guess how I relieved my

stress that night? ).

When Officer Friendly leaves your presence, you want him

to remember you as little as possible. Be polite and treat him

with respect. Otherwise, he is going to try to find something to

use against you. The less contact you have with Officer

Friendly, the better. If for some reason the subject of illegal

activities on your part comes up, politely refuse to speak to the

officer. We will address how to do this in a manner Officer

Friendly will not take exception to shortly.

The second way of meeting Officer Friendly poses greater

problems. When Officer Friendly finds you, he is actively

looking for a reason to put your ass in the Graybar Hotel.

Suppose you are out one night in a business district, after hours.

Now, I do not care what you are doing there. Neither does

Officer Friendly. What he is concerned about is whether you are

causing problems for him, such as by breaking into a closed

business. In addition, under the mandates of a Supreme Court

decision called Terry v. Ohio, Officer Friendly could very well

decide that you are a threat to public safety and to detain you

long enough to try to determine if you are committing any

crimes if you reasonably arouse his suspicions. In addition, if

you decide to get a little upset about Officer Friendly stopping

you, and you become too vocal about your views on the matter,

many states have a statute referred to as Disorderly Conduct.

This is a favorite “catch-all” law that usually says it's not a

good idea to cause a disturbance in the presence of Officer

Friendly. Problem is, the police usually get to determine what

constitutes a disturbance initially, even if the courts disagree

later on. Even if you did nothing wrong, you could wind up

staying at the Graybar overnight until you bail out. Then you

get to play the Lawyer Game in order to prove you are innocent.

Remember: Soap on a rope!

 Worse still, is the possibility that you are doing something

wrong and cannot afford have the police stop you. This is where

a little preparation and common sense comes in. If you are of

the mind set to go out and commit crimes, I cannot stop you.

The law of averages will eventually catch up with you, and the

police will catch you, believe me. Maybe the state will not

convict you of your crimes, but you will be caught, and the

easiest way to get caught is attract the attention of the police.

What does a cop look at first? Your skin color is the first

thing that attracts the eye. If you are in a neighborhood where

you do not look like you belong, then be prepared to be

scrutinized more than the average resident. After skin color,

your sex is part of the judgment process. Females move easier

through society than males. Next comes the length of your hair.

If you are a white male and it's down past your collar, to most

cops you are a dissident in the making. Lastly, your clothing

makes a big difference in how the police will treat you. If you
go in for the Motley Crue look, you are number one on the law

enforcement hit parade for harassment. If you are a black male

wearing gold teeth and a Mr. T starter-set around your neck, be

prepared for the worst. I cannot change the way you dress and

wear your hair, because most of you would be unwilling to do

so. In addition, changing your skin and sex is a little

far-fetched. Nevertheless, if you want to fit a cop's

preconceived image of a dirt bag, you have chosen your road.

It's your lifestyle. Change it or deal with it. My advice to you is

to avoid any contact with the police if possible, and by doing

this avoid the interrogators early on. The better you dress and

the more professional your physical appearance, then there is

far less likelihood of the police screwing with you. In our

culture, appearance equals power.

If you want to come out on top in a street battle with Officer

Friendly, listen closely and do these things:

1. Find out who the best private legal shark (lawyer) with
 the biggest dorsal fin around town is. Do not even

consider public defenders - cops have no respect for them.

The lowliest rookie cop does not fear the most highly

placed public defender. Public defenders are law school

guppies who wish they were real sharks. Really, public

defenders do a great job with the limited resources that

they have, but they are overworked and underpaid, and

most of them are recent law school graduates who have

little to no real world experience with either the criminal

justice system or how interrogators work.

2. Pay the shark's office a visit. If possible, speak with the

shark and tell him that you might want to consider him

for an upcoming legal battle (do not give any details) and

want to see his references/qualifications.

3. Prior to leaving, get a bunch of his business cards if he

seems impressive (they are the real reason you came).

4. Now you have a tool to fight Officer Friendly with if he

stops you. The Shark Card: Do not leave home without it.

I have seen more cops scared off with the implied threat

of legal action than by any other means. But you just can't

throw your shark card at a cop like it were a Monopoly

game “Get Out Of Jail Free Card” and expect anything

other than rage, and a ticket to the Graybar.

Here is how you do it:

1. If stopped for any reason, be polite and personable as

possible. If you show any sign of weakness, such as

nervousness or anger, then you are going to lose.

2. If inside a vehicle at night, turn on the interior light so

that he can see inside easily. Put your hands on the

steering wheel and do not make any sudden moves. You

want the cop to be as comfortable with you as possible.

Do not act as if you are a threat to his safety.

3. If on-foot or outside a vehicle, you should stand with

your legs shoulder width apart. This shows that you feel

in control and are not hiding anything. Interrogators call

this a “dominance stance.”

4. Keep your hands where the cop can see them, about

waist high or better and about body width apart. Show

your palms. “Talk” with them as Italians do. This type of

body language shows honesty and openness.

5. Look directly at the cop's eyes when he is speaking to

you, tilting your head to one side slightly. This shows

respect and that you are listening to him. Break eye

contact occasionally, but never more than a second at a

time. Do this while nodding your head, as it shows

agreement.

6. After Officer Friendly finishes his spiel (asking you for

identification, etc.), ask him politely why he stopped you.

 Look for hesitation on his part. If you see it, take it as a

sign that things are going your way. Remember the

answer he gives you. He may have a perfectly valid

reason, but he may also be doing a little “fishing” without

a license. In other words, he may not have had a legal

reason to stop you, but decided to anyway.

7. Your next question should be “Am I free to go,

Officer?” You have now moved the stakes of the game up

a notch. If he does not have a good reason to detain you,

he will say that you can leave. If he says you are free to

go, say that you want to leave. Do not agree to stay if he

asks you, because he is trying to find a way to ship you

off to the Graybar.

8. Do not agree to a search of your car or your person

under any circumstances, no matter what he says. If he

had the power to keep you there or search you, he would

do it without your permission. Why make it easy on him?

 Tell the nice officer that you are going somewhere and

need to leave, right now.

9. If Officer Friendly says you can leave, do so

immediately.

If you are unlucky enough to be told that you cannot leave,

consider yourself under arrest essentially. Now is the time to

play your cards. Business cards, that is.

Take out your lucky shark card and state, “Nothing against

you, Officer, but my attorney said that if I'm ever stopped for

any reason that he wanted the police officer who did it to call

him. He also said that I shouldn't talk to you except to give you

my personal information and home address.” Above all, be

polite and calm. Look confident and honest. Acting or being

angry will do you no good whatsoever and will probably earn

you a ticket straight to the Graybar Hotel.

Under the law, you must provide personal information, such

as your name, date of birth and anything else that would

identify you. Answer questions the officer’s questions that

pertain to who you are and where you can be contacted, but

nothing else!

Do not make any rude statements or say anything to infuriate

the cop. This will do you no good, and will cause you further

difficulties. Actual street experience shows that assholes go to

jail more often than not.

If the officer tries to question you about any crimes, or he

asks where you have been or where you are going, tell him that

you must speak with your lawyer before answering any

questions. No matter what he says, do not take the bait by

answering him. He may say he has witnesses that saw you do

evil things (if he did, you would already be enroute to the

Graybar), and may even have fake “witnesses” (or real ones)

come to where you are to identify you. Remember, the Supreme

Court stated several times over that the police can legally lie to
you. Do not think they will not! Keep coming back with “I'm

not allowed to talk with you, sorry! I want my attorney.”

Your demeanor should be almost apologetic, as in, “Gee, I

would really like to talk to you, but my lawyer told me never to

talk the police.” Blame your lack of interest in further

conversation upon that crazy shark, it will get you far!

Do not lie to the cops. Lies are usually badly constructed and

easily disproven somewhere down the line, if not immediately.

A bad lie is as good as a confession to a knowledgeable cop,

who will crucify you in front of a jury with it. Rather than lie,

remain silent. It’s your Fifth Amendment right to do so.

Nine times out ten, the conversation will stop there and

Officer Friendly will be glad to get rid of you.

Why? Because he had nothing to go on, and you did not play

the game in a way that allowed him to get any further. Many

times that I have seen citizens stopped for the flimsiest of

reasons, and I have seen Officer Friendly talk them into buying

a ticket to the Graybar Hotel. I have also seen citizens stopped

for very solid reasons who were able to escape through

manipulating Officer Friendly by playing the game correctly.

Giving the officer reason to fear legal action or denying him the

tools he needs to put them in jail.

In most cases, the cop is looking for an easy victory — a

quick kill and onward to the next snack, or the local Mr. Donut.

By not posing a threat and appearing comfortable with the

situation at hand, you did not set off any of his alarms.

Most people who have something to hide will set off a cop's

inner radar by seeming nervous, acting angry or being evasive.

Next, you blamed your lack of cooperation on a third party — a

shark! Every cop knows that sharks tell their clients not to talk

to them all the time. No big deal, it is expected.

Lastly, you have shown Officer Friendly that a private

lawyer will be involved in your case from the beginning. Shark

attacks (depositions, trials and other legal fiestas) always seem

to fall on a cop's day off. Although most cops get overtime for

such events, it still does not sit well with them to have a real

dorsal fin circling their case, looking for a weakness. Cops

would rather deal with Public Defenders, who are usually apt to

plea bargain in order to get to other backlogged cases.

If you fall into the one out of 10 who the police arrest,

though, I've got good and bad news for you:

The bad news is that you were going to jail anyway –

because Officer Friendly had something on you from the

beginning.

The good news is that you can still exercise damage

control to some extent. You may be able to beat the rap

entirely, or minimize the punishment to a great degree.

The rest of this book is about what you can expect from
Officer Friendly and other interrogators you may

encounter.
CHAPTER FOUR: WHAT TO DO IFTHE POLICE ARREST YOU

If the police arrest you for any crime, do not panic. It is not
the end of the world or of a whole lot of significance legally. If

arrested without a warrant, this only means is that the officer

had reason to believe you probably committed a crime. If

arrested by warrant, this means that the officer (or another

officer somewhere) went before a judge who said, “I agree that

a reasonable man would think Joe Citizen probably committed

this crime, and I'll give you a warrant for his arrest.” The

difference between the two types of arrests is non-existent for

practical purposes.

Often an arrest (unless the officer witnessed the offense) will

be sanctioned under the following condition: “Officer Friendly,

you can arrest Joe Citizen. But we will not prosecute unless

there is a confession obtained from him!”

 Unbelievably, I have seen it happen in literally hundreds of

cases, and I have had the State Attorney's Office tell me the

same thing many times. If there is no confession, then the State

will not prosecute you. You should already know what this

means to you: Do not confess under any circumstances.

There are many methods the police interrogators use to

extract confessions from the public. All of them are legal, and

all of them effective.

First, remember this: The police are not your friends. They

do not want to help you when investigating, arresting, or

interrogating you, although they may tell you so. I could sit

here all day long and try to tell you the one simple method of

not falling for our tricks of the trade. For the most astute of

you, here it is: While under arrest, you should never talk to the

police or anyone at all except to give them information as

required by law. Moreover, you should never discuss your case

with anyone other than your lawyer, spouse, or priest, and I do

not recommend you trust your spouse or your priest. Do keep in

mind that lawyers had no duty to keep anything you say about

future crimes confidential; in fact, the Rules of Professional

Responsibility make it mandatory for your lawyer to notify law

enforcement if you disclose that you are planning to commit a

crime. Lawyer – client confidentiality only goes so far, and no

sane lawyer is going to risk his livelihood for your crime spree.

While being transported in the police car, you should not

talk about your arrest or the circumstances surrounding the

arrest at all. You must always assume that you are being video

and tape-recorded even if the cop is far away. You have no right

to privacy in a patrol car or in a police station — especially if

you are in a prison or jail cell.

There are a few rules you must understand if the police

arrest you and being at a police department:

1. Assume everyone there is a cop. Even the person lying

 in the cell with you could be one. I should know, because

I used to have handcuffs placed on me and " arranged "

scenes where I'd dress like a dirt bag and have my fellow

cops pretended to beat me in front of prisoners. Then they

would throw me in the cell with them. Why? Because I

would instantly have the prisoners' acceptance as being

one of them, and they would talk about their crimes with

each other and me. It is all perfectly legal in my personal

experience tells me that you would fall for it!

2. Assume everyone who is not a cop is an informant. Your

best friend will sell you out in a heartbeat. Enough said!

3. You must assume that no matter how secluded you feel

that the police are recording every word you say and

everything you do. There is no expectation of privacy in a

police station (or in the back of a police car), except for

interviews with legal counsel. Therefore, if you discuss

your current difficulties in a police station or jail cell,

 then the police are gathering evidence that they will try to

use against you at trial. Please do not stupidly talk about

how drunk you were when the cops stopped you, or how

you hid your ex-wife's body in the trunk of your car.

4. Just shut up!

Now, those of you who have heard all these nice things about

Miranda Warnings and are raising your hands so eagerly, you

are about to get the answer you do not want. The Supreme Court

decision of Miranda v. Arizona essentially stated that when a

person is arrested or placed in custodial restraint (i.e., not

free to leave) and asked questions concerning a crime they

are suspected of committing, they must be read certain rights.

No questions asked by the police? Questions asked, but the

person is free to leave? Then the police do not have to read you

your rights! It's called “Custodial Interrogation, “and you

need the elements of both “custody” and “interrogation” before

it's necessary for Miranda to be read. OOPS, that is not what the

television shows said, right? If you do not believe what I say is

true, you can do one of three things:

1. Go out and commit a crime, then wander into Officer

Friendly's police station and tell him you are sorry about

him having to miss a doughnut run, but you want to

confess to a crime. Ask him if you are free to go, and

when he says you are, confess. Confess fully and freely.

Even if he does not read you your Miranda Warnings (and

some will, even if they don't have to. They watched the

same shows you did, after all. ), try to get the confession

overturned. A man named Mathiason tried that back in

1977. His Supreme Court case (Oregon v. Mathiason) is

one of the landmark decisions interrogators use to lull

citizens into a false sense of security. People believe

(mistakenly) that if Miranda Warnings are not read to

them that the case is flawed. Those criminals who have

 learned too late that their ideas were incorrect are now

having lunch with Mathiason on a daily basis in the

Graybar Hotel. Lunch there is free, but not very tasty.

2. Pay a shark for a expensive consultation fee — I hope

your wallet survives the attack!

3. Attend the same expensive interrogation courses and go

to law school as I did.

4. If you still do not believe that the police do not have to

read you Miranda Warnings unless certain conditions are

met, feel free to talk away to whomever at the police

station. However, please do not write me complaining

about the cable channel restrictions at the Graybar Hotel

afterwards.

You should certainly polite while at the station, but do not

weaken your resolve. You must firmly state that you do not

want to talk to anyone about your case and that you want a
lawyer. You should make frequent protestations of your

innocence, but you should never go into specifics (such as

trying to create an alibi). Do nothing beyond that. That way,

when the prosecutor reads the cop's report, he will only see that

you continued to claim you were innocent and admitted to

nothing. That may just be enough to get the whole case flushed

down the toilet, because the State wants easy wins too.

By law, the police can fingerprint and photograph you and

examine your body for evidence while you are in their custody.

You should never resist the police in any way. Be a model

prisoner. If you act in such a manner, the system will take less

notice of you. In addition, you won't receive any unwanted

attention from officers who carry Tasers, batons, and chemical

sprays to make you behave. If you anger your caretakers, you

may find that additional charges can be brought, depending on

what you have done to piss the cops off.

If for some reason the police insist on speaking with you,

you might find that they will use some standard tactics on you.

Before I go into those tactics first though, remember that the

Supreme Court has said that if you say you want a lawyer, the

police cannot ask you questions about any crimes you are

suspected of committing, and they cannot interrogate you about

crimes you are suspected of committing if you say you do not

want to talk to them. It is that simple. You do not have to talk to

the police. Pull out your lucky shark card and tell the officer

your lawyer said not to speak to strange cops. Believe me, all

cops are STRANGE!

Keep in mind though, if you know about a crime that

someone else committed but that you had no part in, then you

have no legal protection. The court cannot force you to disclose

information about crimes that other people have committed,

and if you refuse to cooperate, then the judge can hold you in

contempt (or worse). The Fifth Amendment protects only you,

not others. It's the right against self incrimination, remember?!

 REMEMBER, IF YOU FOLLOW THESE RULES, AND

1. Don't tell anyone anything about your misdeeds.

2. Avoid contact with the police.
3. Trust no one. Particularly while you are at the police
department.
4. Talk to no one but your lawyer about your case.

Then congratulations, you will do well, assuming that you

were smart enough to work alone doing whatever you did. At

least the State will not have a confession to hold over your

head. If you worked with a partner, though, or you are reading

this for amusement - read on.

Those of you who think you are invincible and do not want

to play it safe? I still have a lot to teach you about what to

expect during a real interrogation.

For those of you who are truly adventuresome, talking to the

police can have its own allure. While dangerous, it may provide
you some insight into their case against you. The trick here is

not to give the interrogator any information, but to learn all the

goodies he has on you. Depending on the caliber of the

interrogator you playing against, you may do well or very

poorly. Even good interrogators have their bad days though, so

why not try it? I mean, it is only your life. Remember, you can

always pull the plug on the interrogation by summoning your

pet shark by uttering the magic words “I want to speak with my

lawyer!”
CHAPTER FIVE: SURVIVING A SOPHISTICATED

INTERROGATION

When sizing up your interrogator, do not pay attention to

what he looks like. Many professional interrogators cultivate

the good ole' boy, Barney Fife look to lull you into thinking

they are idiots. Meanwhile, you are digging yourself deeper into

the pit with every word because ole' Barney sitting across from

you has a rocking computer chip for a brain! Don't be fooled by

outside appearances, or by the Mayberry R.F.D. police

department for whom he works. If you buy into that mistake,

the last you may see of him is when he helps bury you under

your local version of the Graybar Hotel.

Nor should you be terrified at the prospect of going head to

head with a big city detective. Many times these cops are the
true Barney Fifes of police work, because it is easier to get lost

in a larger department where nobody can see that you are a

moron.

The best interrogators work alone, and will only bring

another interrogator in if they feel a need to later on in the

program. He will be friendly and non-confrontational in the

beginning, although he may switch tactics later.

Judge your interrogator by his methods. His methods and

personality lead to results. If he appears to be well organized,

you should assume he is probably very good at his job. If he

appears unkempt and disorganized, you can breathe easier, but

you should never let your guard down. Remember, he is not

your friend. He will pretend to be, and he may be very

convincing at doing so.

Although limited by budget constraints, most professional

interrogators will have an interview room. If they do, look at it.

According to the experts, the room should be ten feet by ten

feet, with light – colored walls, two chairs, a small table and

nothing else. If you find yourself in a room with these

specifications, you should seriously reconsider playing this

game — you may have wandered into an extremely

sophisticated interrogator's trap. One more thing: there will be a

means of recording you through audio, video, or both, whether

you can discern it or not. Moreover, the police do not have to

tell you they are doing recording you.

The ideal interview room is set up like this for several

reasons:

1. The dimensions of ten feet by ten feet are spacious

enough so that you feel comfortable, but so that when the

interrogator moves close to you to physically establish

rapport with you, then you can't get away by retreating

from him.
2. The walls are light colored and will have a calming

effect on you in order to ease your apprehension and

make you relax. There will be no pictures upon them,

since the interrogator wants your undivided attention.

3. The two chairs are to sit in, obviously. The table is for

any equipment the interrogator brings into the room, such

as a notepad.

4. Your chair will not move. The interrogator's chair will

be on wheels so he can invade your body space when he

feels it appropriate to do so. Your chair may be smaller to

make him seem larger and help him project dominance

over you.

5. The recording devices are hidden so that you will feel at

ease when talking. Do not believe the interrogator if he

says he is not recording your every word. He is, or will

be, and entirely without your permission. Not that he

 needs it, of course.

6. The interview room is set up to provide privacy against

intrusions, so that you will focus upon the interrogator

and nothing else.

The best interrogators will start out by evaluating your

normal behavior and responses to a set series of questions.

From there, the interrogator will then ask you a second series

of questions called “critical response” questions. These

questions are designed to indicate whether you are being

deceptive or not. This method is the same one that

polygraphists use.

The technique is very sophisticated, and relies upon

comparing your normal behavior to that of stressed behavior. It

is stressful for a human to lie, and the stress shows in ways a

highly trained interrogator can easily notice. It's not necessary

to know what specific questions you will be asked since the

formats may change.

The interrogator will be watching your body language, and

he will listen for verbal cues of deception. If he sees these

clues, he will categorize you as being more deceptive than

honest. If he does that, then he will move into the next phase of

the game, and use psychological pressure to make you confess.

Even if you fail these questions, all it means is that you

appear deceptive to the interrogator. This cannot be used in

court against you, unless you make an outright statement that

clearly shows guilt. Something like “Yeah, I did it! So what,

asshole?" would tend to look pretty bad, yet I have had people

do exactly that!

This a sample list of questions that a good interrogator might

ask you, while attempting to get a baseline on your normal

behavior:

1. Your full name.

 2. Date of birth.

3. Height.

4. Weight.

5. Home address.

6. Home phone number.

7. Business address.

8. Business Phone number.

9. Your yearly income.

10. Your favorite food.

11. The color of your girlfriend's/boyfriend's eyes.

12. The sum of 6 x 6 – 3 + 6 = ?

The interrogator is trying to accomplish several things with

these first questions. He may already have the answers to most

of them (I would), and wants to see if you will tip your hand by
lying about your lifestyle, etc. That would give him valuable

insight into your personality, and he will then use several

different time-proven methods to attack your psyche.

My advice to you is to deny the interrogator the tool of

having a baseline on you. When asked a question, act in ways

that you normally would not. You should answer the questions

honestly during this phase, but you should shift around in your

seat. Look away from the interrogator at times, and at others

stare at him. Pause before answering some questions, but not

others. You may be able to confuse the interrogator. If you are

able to make him uneasy, he may slip up and say something

about the case that he should not.

You are trying to prevent him from getting a good baseline

on your normal behavior. If you show what appears to be

extreme nervousness during this first series of questions, he

may not be able to tell if you are lying during the second series.
Again, I strongly advise you not to lie to the police, but if you

are going to do it anyway, then you might as well do it as best

you can.

Here is how the second series of questions or the “kinesic

interview” works: the interrogator will now attempt to discover

if you should be the subject of further interrogation. If possible,

you want to avoid further interrogation because you won't learn

much from the sophisticated interrogator. These are questions

you could be asked, and the ways honest people usually answer

them. You want to appear to be an honest person, so that the

interrogator thinks he has the wrong person. When answering

this second series of questions, always look right at him, and

keep your hands as far apart as possible. Answer as quickly as

you can, keeping your body language consistent. Do not fidget!

1. Joe, do you know why I asked you here today? Your

reply: Sure - it's about________. (Do not evade the issue,

both of you know why you are there.).

2. Joe, we are investigating a _______, let me ask you right

up front: Did you do this? Your reply: No! (Do not

hesitate in your denial. Make it firm and clear. Make sure

you establish good eye contact with the interrogator.

Watch your tone of voice, making sure it does not rise or

fall.)

3. Joe, do you know could have done this crime? Your

reply: I think you should look at Bob No Good. I do not

trust him! (Offer somebody specific — anybody!

Innocent people usually tell the police about somebody

that they just do not like or trust even if they say that they

think that that person probably did not commit the crime.)

4. Joe, is there anyone you would vouch for and say did not

do this? Your reply: Billy Do Good would not, he's too

nice. (Offer the most innocent person you can think of —

guilty people almost never do that. They say something

stupid like “Anyone could have done it.”)

5. Joe, how do you feel about me interviewing you about

this thing? Your reply: I want you to catch who did this

thing, but I have no idea why you were talking to me. (Do

not act angry, or negative. That is what guilty people do! )

6. Joe, do you think that this really happened, or do you

think something else is going on? Your reply: Of course it

happened! (This is a trap. The interrogator is trying to

make you fabricate tales of lost money, misplaced cars

and accidental deaths instead of the real crimes. Guilty

people fall for this a lot, innocent people never do. If the

crime did not happen, why would lease the interrogating

you)

7. Joe, who do you think would have the best opportunity

to do this thing? Your reply: Bob No Good. (Name the

same person you named before, as you have already

committed yourself. Honest people do the very same

 thing, so should you.)

8. Joe, why do you think someone would do this thing?

Your reply: Maybe they were desperate for some reason.

(My biggest piece of advice for this question? Never say

because they wanted to frame someone. It will mark you

as being instantly deceptive. The interrogator is using

another technique to trap you.)

9. Joe, did you ever think of doing something like this?

Your reply: No way! (Honest people do not have such

evil, nasty thoughts. At least, they do not admit to it.)

10. Joe, what do you think should happen to the person who

did this thing? Your reply: I think they should be put in

jail. (Here is the deal: Bad Guys never want to suggest

punishment. Good Guys want their ounce of blood. Act

like a Good Guy!)

11. Joe, how do you think the results of this investigation

 will turn out on you? Your reply: I will be cleared. (You

should be as confident as possible when saying this, and

look directly at the interrogator. There should be no trace

of ambiguity in your assertion.)

12. Joe, do think the person who did this deserves a second

chance? Your reply: No! Remember, Good Guys want

blood! Bad Guys tend to minimize everything.)

13. Joe, can you prove to me you did not do this? Your

reply: No. (This is a tricky question. The interrogator

wants you to give him an outlandish alibi so he can make

you out to be a liar. Just do not play the game. Honest

people cannot always provide alibis either.)

14. Joe, would be willing to take a polygraph test? Your

reply: Yes. (Do not hesitate at all. Honest people usually

will not hesitate.)

15. Joe, how do you think you would do on that lie detector
 test? Your reply: I would pass it with flying colors.

(Again, do not hesitate. State immediately and firmly that

you are innocent.)

16. Joe, is there any reason that are investigation would

show that _____ (your fingerprints, footprints, skin, etc.)

was found at the scene of the crime? Your reply: No.

Evaluate this last question. It's referred to as the “Bait

Question.”If the interrogator does not have much of a case, he

will use outlandish evidence examples such as devices that can

trace your path from the crime scene to your home by skin

residue, or mysterious witnesses to your actions and so forth.

Do not fall for that crap. It is designed to make you believe

there is evidence against you, and to weaken your resolve. I

have used it successfully for years, and laughed whenever

someone took the bait. Even if there is evidence against you,

this man still needs a confession. He would not be talking to

you otherwise. The evidence may show you were at the scene of
the crime, but that it itself often means nothing. Many other

people could have been there too. If the question makes you

uncomfortable, it is time to make the interrogator

uncomfortable: Ask him if you should get a lawyer. That will

take him down a notch or two.

Put it to him in this fashion: “If you have evidence against

me, I want to see it right now. I am here to cooperate, but I

think you are trying to lie to me and get me to confess to

something I did not do. Do I need to call my lawyer? I am not

lying to you, why are you lying to me? I am a responsible

taxpaying citizen and not a criminal, and I am going to call

your boss, the mayor, and everybody else I can think is

interested in the way you were conducting this investigation,

including the media, and tell them that you lied to me to get a

false confession.”

You may appear to be deceptive anyway, but you also could

cause a interrogator who is afraid of political fallout to back

down.

The main goals of the interrogator at this stage are these:

Determine if you are acting deceptive. If you do, this

will either mean that you did what he suspects you of or

know something about the crime. It is possible you are an

accomplice or an associate of whoever did commit the

crime.

Determine if he should interrogate you further. If you

are deceptive, he probably will. However, if you do not

appear to be, he may not. In addition, he has to evaluate

how hard it will be to get you to confess, and if there are

any legal roadblocks in the way of obtaining a confession.

You must regard everything the interrogator tells you as

being either an outright or a partial lie. Remember, the police

can legally lie to you and even pretend they have physical
evidence is conclusive of your guilt — even if they have no

evidence whatsoever. The interrogator will probably leave the

room at this point and evaluate your answers. This break gives

him an opportunity to decide if he will actually interrogate you,

and to formulate strategies if he decides to go ahead.

If he comes back and says he has decided not to talk to you

anymore, you have won a huge victory. He no longer thinks you

committed the crime. You fooled him into believing you are

innocent, (or that you are too wise to confess).

However, if he comes back in a few moments holding a file

folder with your name on it and says in a confident voice, “Joe,

our investigation clearly shows that you did commit this

crime,” laugh at him! This is called a Confrontational

Statement, and it is a charade, nothing more than a fraud. He

does not know whether you did it or not, he is just setting you

up for a fall. It is part of the act he has been taught to perform.

 He will be standing with his legs shoulder width apart, his

hands held open about body width apart and above the waist.

Sound familiar? Of course it does! I taught you to do this when

speaking to Officer Friendly! He is just using the same tricks.

You want to appear just as confident in making your denials.

The file folder? It has nothing to be for you to worry about in

most cases. It's probably filled with old police reports about

barking dog complaints (mine almost always was). It is just

part of the props the interrogator is using to scare you. Do not

buy into this fraud. The mere fact that he is talking to you at all

means he needs a confession from you.

If you feel uncomfortable playing the game further, tell the

interrogator that you want an attorney. Even this late into the

game, he has to quit. If he pushes further, he has lost the case.

The beauty of all this is that you are in charge of this interview,

not him. You can end it at any time you want.

You say you want to play some more? Okay, here is what to
expect. The interrogator can play this one of three ways:

1. He will go into something called “Theme

Development.” During this stage, he suggest possible

“good reasons” for committing this crime instead of bad

ones, like “Joe, I think the reason you went into that

house and stole that VCR was because you were hungry.

You were hungry, and you needed money, Joe. There is no

shame in that, Joe, it is not like you took it for drug

money. You took because you were hungry, didn't you,

Joe?” The interrogator could care less why you

committed this crime, he is simply pushing all your

psychological buttons to see if you respond. He may try

several different themes, to see if you will bite at one.

You should see this for what it is: An invitation to join

the other residents of the Graybar Hotel for an extended

stay. Even if the interrogator offers you what sounds like

the world's best reason for doing this thing, do not bite.
 Nobody cares about your motivations, but the interrogator

wants you to believe they do. You will go to jail

regardless of why you did it.

2. The interrogator may choose this option, which will

consist of trying to overwhelm you with the physical

evidence against you. Let me clue you in here. If the

interrogator had such great evidence that shows you

committed this crime, why would he be talking to you?

He might need a confession to sew up his case tight, but

the mere fact that he is still playing games should tell you

he needs your confession for something. Remember, this

man is a professional liar who wants to put you in the

Graybar Hotel. It's his job, nothing more. He is paid to

lie — it is how he clears cases.

3. The last option is a combination of the two. He will try

to impress you with all his evidence, then go into theme

 development.

If those three options do not work, he may try something

called “Third Person Themes.” While it is still theme

development, it has a twist: he will tell you stories of people

who have found themselves in situations like yours, and he tell

you how much being honest helped them. If you seem to listen

to his statement, he will go back into the three options and try

to find a combination that works. He was only looking for a

way to get you interested.

Once he hooks you, you will probably talk. This is a

technique designed to break down the defenses of a suspect who

is ignoring the interrogator, and it is total bullshit! If this

interrogator really knows such people, they are all at the

Graybar Hotel watching reruns of Flipper for amusement. That

is how their honesty helped them — right into a jail cell!

Every time the interrogator comes up with one of his

options, simply refuse to accept it. Make firm, immediate, and

constant denials. Do not go into details; however, due continue

to proclaim your innocence to the police officer. Remember, if

he catches you with enough lies, those are just as good as a full

confession.

The end result of any interrogation is to obtain one of two

things:

1. An admission of guilt or involvement, which is a

statement similar to a confession, but which doesn't

contain all the elements of the crime. It is still good

enough for prosecution. For example: Many burglars will

not confess to going into a house, but will confess to

being “lookouts.” They still go to jail, so the lesson here

is not to make even partial admissions.

2. A confession. Legally speaking, a full confession

contains all elements of the crime. For example: A

 murderer may go to jail for killing someone if he admits

he killed someone But he may stand a better chance of

going to the electric chair if he make a full confession

stating he planned the act out. That is because he was

foolish enough to supply the critical element of

premeditation, which is necessary to convict someone for

the charge of First Degree Murder.

A sophisticated interrogator will talk to you for as long as

you allow him to. He will not give up easily. Think of him as a

talking Energizer Bunny with a badge. He will keep going, and

going and going — at least until one of four things happens:

1. You make a admission. He may stop at this point, if that

is all he wanted or he may focus upon the admission and

attempt to get a full confession.

2. You confess. I do not think you require me to tell you

where you are going, do you?

 3. You invoke your rights to remain silent and have to an

attorney present.

4. You convince him that you will not confess, and may be

innocent.

Why would you even play this game, if all you have to do is

to say you don't want to talk? Here is why: Most interrogators

believe they can get almost any guilty person to confess. You

have to be a confident person to sit in front of someone for

hours on end and spin these lies about evidence that does not

exist, and so forth. If you can force a good interrogator to give

up, you will profoundly shake his faith in your guilt!

If you do not think that the cops and the attorneys

communicate, you are wrong. I've seen cases quietly dropped

because a cop has told a prosecutor that he “doesn't feel right”

about a case.

The last thing prosecutor wants on the stand is a cop who is

not sure about the defendant's guilt. May times I have seen

warrants issued only because there was a possibility of a

confession being obtained. No confession equals no case! In

other words, you may be able to shut the case against you down

by merely knowing what to expect and being damned stubborn

about not confessing.

The last method of defeating this type of interrogator is this:

You already know the games he is going to play, right?

Why not invent a personality that fits the role of an

innocent, but angry suspect?

What you must do is follow the rules of psychology as

these interrogators know them. People who are accused

of crimes are often angry about it, and show it. The

difference between the innocent person and the guilty is

that the guilty either cannot maintain anger well, or stay

angry too long.

 The explanation is simple. If I told you a joke when you are

truly angry, you would not laugh. Nothing would seem funny to

you. However, guilty suspects “slip in and out” of feigned anger

easily, and trip themselves up that way.

Innocent suspects who are truly angry do not shift moods

easily. Why? Because they are truly pissed! However, innocent

suspects also start to “cool down” and relax midway through

the interrogation. They start to relax and become comfortable

with the fact that nothing is going to happen to them. Why do

innocent people become more comfortable as the interview

progresses? Because they know they are innocent. Guilty

suspects tend to stay “angry” right up until it's time for them to

confess. That is when the facade is dropped. If you believe you

have what it takes to pull this off, try it. Remember, you can

always tell the interrogator that you want to speak to an

attorney and end the game on that note.

THE NEXT TYPE OF INTERROGATOR YOU MAY FACE IS MUCH

LESS DISCIPLINED, BUT NO LESS DANGEROUS BECAUSE OF

IT.
CHAPTER SIX: SURVIVING THE UNSOPHISTICATED

INTERROGATION

Grandmaster chess players hate to play amateurs. They

would rather play against more disciplined chess players

because they know what those players will do. Amateurs

though, are unpredictable. The undisciplined amateur loses, but

he does not have a game plan that you can anticipate. You

should be the same and be comfortable if you know what to

expect. Does Barney Fife really exist in police work?

Unfortunately, yes, and I know him and his kin quite well.

Unsophisticated interrogators are not a rarity by any means. In

fact, they are more the norm that you might believe.

The unsophisticated interrogator gets much of his technique

from cop shows and other cops who probably do not know
anymore about scientific interrogation methods than he does.

He may have a few tricks up his sleeve, but his repertoire is

limited. Regard this person as you would a bad used car

salesperson: You know he wants to stick it to you, and he is

obvious about it. But then again, used cars get sold every day by

salesmen who wear ugly plaid suits and the Looney Tunes

character ties. Do not be a sucker. All this guy is selling is

lemons. The first thing you will notice is that he will not have

any method to determine if you should be the focus of the

investigation. He will simply start in by confronting you with

real or fake evidence, and telling you why you should confess.

This is the old school of bullshitting or intimidating people into

confessing.

However, because he is unsophisticated, he tends to tell you

a lot about what he does know about your activities. More

disciplined interrogators have learned to keep their mouth shut

about what they are like good poker players who are experts at
hiding their cards and psychological “tells.”.

He will probably be partnered with another interrogator, so

that he can play Good Cop - Bad Cop. In this game, one cop is

acts extremely obnoxious, so that you will hate him. The Good

Cop will come on like your friend, and he will try to make you

like him. A principle we will discuss later in the chapter on

Dirty Tricks Cops Play is being used on you in this scenario.

You might be tempted to talk to the more likable Good Cop,

just to get the other clown away from you. Do not! It is an old

trick, and most people know it. However, as I said, this

interrogator does not know many tricks, and this one still works

on many people.

Do not think he is not a threat because he probably makes up

a lot in charm where he is short on knowledge. He could also be

the type who intimidates people in confessing — just like your

father could do to you at one point as a kid. Here is what you

need to do if confronted with an unsophisticated interrogator:

 Be prepared to play the waiting game with him. Time is

on your side, not his. The longer an interrogation

continues, the worse his chances of winning become. He

knows this, and as time goes on, he will become

frustrated. At this point, he may start telling you

everything he knows about your involvement. Knowledge

is power — so you must use it. If you learn something

about your case that you or a lawyer can fix, then it is

worth it.

This type of interrogator usually surrenders much

quicker than a sophisticated interrogator, because he does

not have the patience learned from interrogating people

for hours at a time. He will want a quick kill. Most

undisciplined interrogators will usually give up if you can

last for a half hour. Rarely will they go beyond a hour,

because they run out of steam.

 Expect him to run through his whole bag of tricks

rather swiftly. He may recycle through his favorites a

couple times before giving up, but expect that. He will

change tactics often while trying to find something that

works.

Expect him to bluster a bit, and to tell you that things

are looking real dismal for your future. He says the same

thing to everyone. All he's trying to do is sell a spare

ticket to the Graybar to you.

If he is very dumb, he will make a promise to you that

he will get a good deal cut for you, if you confess. Cops

cannot do this — only prosecutors can, and in order to get

you a reduced sentence, the court has to sign off on the

plea bargain. That does not always happen. If you hear

this statement, take note. It will cause him a lot of grief at

both his department and the State Attorney's Office. I will

 tell you about filing complaints in the chapter called

Filing Complaints.

Just like before, if at any time you feel uncomfortable,

then you need to ask for a lawyer. Your lucky shark card

will make a real impression upon this person. The less

sophisticated a interrogator is, the more he respects

sharks. Keep your cool, and do not say anything other

than “I didn't do it!” Wait out the unsophisticated

interrogator and steal his information from him.

The rules aren't much different from a sophisticated

interrogation, it's just that things will happen a lot

quicker.

I used to love watching these clowns at work. After they

gave up on a suspect, I would roll in and ask if I could try to get

a confession, and I usually did. The reason is that after the

unsophisticated interrogator gave up, the suspect got lax. Why

was that? It is because he thought he had won the war, instead

of just a battle. Another reason is that he was not prepared to

last the amount of time I was: He figured that because one

interrogator surrendered quickly,, so would I.

I developed a trick just for dealing with suspects in that

situation:

I would come in, and establish rapport as much as

possible. Maybe I would do it by making fun of the other

interrogator's Looney Tunes tie, or tell the suspect how

much I enjoyed sleeping with the other interrogator's wife

last night.

Anything to get him wondering if I was quite sane or

not. If the suspect was open to my approach, I would go

through a brief kinesic interview and then hit him with a

Confrontational Statement ( “Our investigation clearly

shows you committed this crime”).

 Now that I had his attention, I would do the last thing

he would possibly expect me to do: I would pick up a

book and start reading. I would totally ignore him. All the

while this guy is thinking, “Why isn't he talking to me?

Isn't he going to talk?”

After I'd seen that the suspect was getting real curious

about what was going to happen next, I start talking —

maybe an hour later, or so. I would talk about the book I

was reading and how much I liked it. In other words, I

bored this guy so much that he would want to change the

subject to something else. Guess what is foremost in his

mind? You got it, my friends: He would talk about the

crimes he had committed. After all, it is the one subject

he knows we truly have in common, and he knows that we

will eventually discuss it. However, since I would not

discuss his crime immediately, his sense of apprehension

and psychological pressure would increase. The only way

 for him to decrease his anxiety would be to talk to me.

The lesson here is this: Do not let your guard down

when you win an easy victory. Survive to win the war, not

just a battle.

Another version of this trick is the interrogator who simply

stares at you, and does not speak. It has been called the

“pregnant silence method.” It makes people uncomfortable,

because silence is not natural in conversations. Because you are

uncomfortable, you tend to talk more than you normally would,

and once you begin to talk, it is hard to stop.


CHAPTER SEVEN: HONEY, THERE'S A NICE DETECTIVE HERE

TO SEE YOU

Suppose you were not arrested at the scene of a crime, or

even arrested at all? Suppose a nice police detective came to

your office or home to talk to you about something you might

be involved in. Would you agree to talk to him? I bet you

would. In fact, I bet you would agree to follow him to the police

department for a friendly Coke, a smile, and an interrogation.

Why do I say that? Simple – I have been many houses and

extended just that invitation hundreds of times. Guess what?

Rarely did I get turned down. Not even by hardened criminals,

whom you would think would know better. Young, old, high

school dropouts, and college graduates, they were all so willing

to talk to me, so that I could hear “Their side of the story.”

Sometimes I would just knock on their doors, and say, “I know

what you did, and I want you to give me everything you took

from X.” In fact, here are two examples of how well this

technique used to work for me:

1. I once knocked on the door of a hardened felon (let us

call him “Super Crook”), and said, “I know you have X’s

guns. Given to me right now!”Super Crook 's sighed,

stepped outside, took me to the back of his house, and

hold out X’s Colt Delta Elite forty-five caliber pistol and

two other pistols. My boss bought me lunch for that one.

2. When I was a narcotics officer, I would often knock on

the doors of crack houses and tell whoever answered the

door to bring me there crack. I cannot tell you the number

of times that this technique worked, but each time, I

would immediately arrest the person, and then get a

warrant to search the house.

 Our society is extremely media driven. How many times did

you watch a movie where a detective asks someone to “come

downtown”? I bet you cannot recall one refusal, either. You

have been programmed to believe you should obey my

authority, cooperate with me, and accompany me to a police

station, because it is expected of you if you're innocent, and you

want to appear innocent, don't you? You are such a naive

bastard! What a big mistake!

You do not have to go or cooperate with the police, so you

should never do it. The only reason that you should accept an

offer like this is if you want to learn what type of evidence

there is against you. Even then, it is a risky proposition.

Generally, you cannot be arrested in your home without a

warrant. However, if you step outside your home, you are fair

game for a detective who has Probable Cause to believe you

committed a crime.

If you go to the station, you must be prepared to be

interrogated. This is not about telling your side of a story. You

are being invited to a interview room, where the police will try

to make you confess to a crime — sometimes, it does not

matter whether you committed the crime or not; the police just

want to close the case

If you do not want to go, tell the nice detective how much

you like his Looney Tunes character tie (my former partner was

partial to Donald Duck ties!), then hand him your lucky shark

card. Tell the nice detective that your lawyer said to give him a

call. Stay home and watch Flipper reruns on your own

television. The cable is probably better than at the Graybar

Hotel, anyway.

You should be aware that a case is, or was building against

you, but your lucky shark card might just have finished it off.

Again, if he really had something against you, he would have a

warrant in his hand instead of a jelly doughnut.

 If you know what you did wrong, now is the time to figure

out how Detective Looney Tunes got your name and address. If

you are real scum, you probably have a wide variety of things

you have done wrong. Real scum have a tough time in life,

because the police already know about them. If a crime occurs

near a real scum's area of operations and it's the type of activity

he enjoys, guess whom Detective Looney Tunes is visiting

first?

Contrary to what you might believe, detectives are not like

the ones you see on television. The big, glamorous cases are

rare. Your average detective is sentenced to sitting behind a

desk in Doughnut Hell, staring bitterly at a stack of paperwork

that grows larger every day. These guys are drastically

overworked, and in most cases, they are underpaid for the work

they do.

The advantage that the detective has over the street cop is

that he gets to see the big picture. If you have committed

twenty thefts, Officer Friendly knows about three or four at the

most. Detective Looney Tunes knows about them all though.

How? Because the cases are cluttering up his desk, sticking to

his doughnuts.

Your advantage is that the Detective Bureau is only so large,

and it has finite resources. If you fail to come in for an

interview the first time, Detective Looney Tunes will probably

have to leave you alone so that he can move on to easier targets.

You see, that pile of cases gets larger every day.

Now, if you are a prolific committer of crimes, you are

going to be caught eventually — do not get me wrong. The

more of a thorn you become in Detective Looney Tunes’ side,

the more interest he will take in you. In addition, since most

detectives have more than a few years of law enforcement

experience, shark cards are far less likely to intimidate them.

 REMEMBER: DO NOT TALK TO DETECTIVES. STAY AS FAR

AWAY FROM THEM AS POSSIBLE. BE AFRAID - BE VERY

AFRAID. UNLESS YOU LIKE LIVING LIFE ON THE EDGE, OF

COURSE!
CHAPTER EIGHT: FILING COMPLAINTS 101

Have you ever seen the devices at some stores that look like
hand grenades? The ones that say, “Have a complaint? Take a

number!” Only the number is attached to the grenade's pin.

Making complaints against police officers is just like that.

Once you take your number, you have armed a grenade. The

only thing you want to make sure is that you are not in its blast

when it blows up.

You might think that police officers have some special

immunity or fellowship that protects them from complaints, but

they do not. Cops are hardest on other cops, for some ungodly

reason. This can work to your advantage. Doughnut Hell makes

cops that way. The worst I have ever been screwed was by other

cops who were trying to protect their spot in Doughnut Hell.

Receiving a complaint is a stressful thing for a police

officer, even if he knows he will be found innocent of any

wrongdoing. Unfortunately, for the cop, he is presumed

guilty at most departments until proven innocent. After a

few complaints on a officer, the administrators begin to

look at the cop like there is something wrong with the cop

— even if he is found innocent each time.

Police administrators often are not “real cops” anymore (if

they were to begin with). Because they have been driving a desk

for so long instead of a cruiser, they have usually atrophied into

slugs that would rather have “no waves” than cops who generate

complaints. The problem with this attitude is that real cops

generate complaints. The reason this happens is that they are

doing their job aggressively, putting Bad Guys in jail. Bad Guys

and their families do not like this, so they file complaints.

Lazy cops do not make waves (or many, if any, arrests), so

they do not get complaints. I once saw a Junior Slug driving in

the opposite from a call he was dispatched to investigate (a

burglary in-progress). I was his back-up, and I was at the crime

scene and arrested the two perps before the asshole even

arrived. Administrators appreciate this dedication to doing

nothing, so lazy cops eventually are promoted quicker in many

circumstances and can become Senior Slugs, and so the

breeding cycle of the Police Slug continues...What does this

mean to you?

Complaint filing is a great way to discourage any cop who is

sniffing around you too closely. If he does something you

disagree with, you can march down to the local Slug - in -

Charge's office and file a complaint against the officer for

bothering you. Here is how you do it:

Think of everything that you disagree with in your

encounter. Never lie, or fabricate evidence of any

wrongdoing. If you cheat by stepping outside the rules, it

will be discovered. Then you'll have real problems.

 Commit it to paper.

Get it notarized.

Bring it to the head slug, or his designee.

Tell them you want an investigation done; otherwise,

you're going to some other slug's office to complain on

them. Slugs fear bigger slugs, who might notice that the

smaller slug is not doing his job. That job consists of

protecting the bigger slug from you annoying the bigger

slug.

Show your shark card to the slug, but do not leave it

with him. Tell the slug that you have “considered”

bringing your shark into his private slug pool if you do

not get satisfaction. The last thing a slug wants to do is

swim with sharks. Sharks can eat a slug and his

retirement pension, and then want more.

 The slug, wanting no waves, will have another slug

investigate the cop. Now, the police are investigating

themselves!

The advantages:

1. While being investigated, the cops might not have time

to play games with you.

2. The cops might be told by the slugs to stay away from

you (I have seen cops told not to “harass” people

suspected of committing homicide. Is that silly or what?)

3. By doing this, you could muddy the waters of the

investigation. State attorneys hate to hear that there are

complaints of misconduct being investigated in one of

their cases. It causes definite drooping of their dorsal fins.

They might refuse to touch the case because of this taint.

4. Less aggressive cops will tend to avoid you.

 The disadvantages:

1. Now the cops will really hate you, and know who you

are. You just made it personal.

2. You might start to receive more attention if the

complaint is proven unfounded, but in that case you can

simply file another one for harassment.

The advanced method of complaining involves whining to

separate agencies. This means that if your problem cop works

for the local police department, you call another agency that

does similar work in the same jurisdiction. Alternatively, you

can go to the news media! That will really stir up the silt at the

bottom of the local Slug Pool. If you can get different agencies

investigating one another’s actions, look out! The Slug War has

begun! All the involved slugs will be trying to cover their own

posteriors and blaming other slugs for any perceived

wrongdoing. Slugs are truly cannibalistic.

 One word of advice: If you intend on filing a complaint, be

straight about it. It is okay to use nebulous language, and

describe events as you see them. In fact, the hardest complaints

to disprove are those that complain about simple, ordinary

police work. Slugs do not comprehend police work anymore

than you do, and will need numerous explanations of everything

their cops do. Then they will have to explain it to you and

whomever else you have brought into the picture.

If you lie on the complaint, you have not only hurt your

credibility but there could be other charges. Moreover, while

you may think torturing a cop with false complaints is sporting,

it is not. Eventually cops can find ways to exact revenge.

Anyone can understand playing within the rules. Nevertheless,

if you step outside and try to hurt a man's career with lies, then

you will be the one taking the fall. Simply filing a complaint is

often enough, it does not matter what you complain about.

Remember, in the end the cops are trying to do their job.

They really do not mind if you can win occasionally, because it

is expected.
CHAPTER NINE: DIRTY TRICKS THAT COPS PLAY

Instead of me pretending that I can tell you about every

dirty trick cops use, I must admit I cannot. Why? Because more

are invented every day! I will give the ones I have used and the

others I have seen used to make people confess. This will give

you a general idea of what is and can be done by the

interrogators when they are practicing their trade. Any

interrogator can use these tricks, so beware!

First example:

While a cop was patrolling in a business district, a window

was found smashed out. A man was found lying in some bushes

at the scene, but he claimed he was sleeping there because he

was homeless. The man denied breaking the window to commit

a theft, and said he had not seen anyone do it. Regarding his

story as suspicious, the cop used a time-honored trick called

“Instant Witness.”
 He told another cop in front of the suspect “Go see if there

are any witnesses nearby.”

The other cop went to a business down the block, and

brought a shop owner with him. The shop owner was told to

pretend to identify the man. When they arrived, the shop owner

got out of the cop car and pointed at the man. He did not say a

word, but nodded to the cop as he did so. The suspect

immediately confessed.

Why did he confess? Because he thought there was evidence

against him in the form of a witness. Back to the Graybar,

Flipper reruns, and soap on a rope he went.

Second example:

A variation of the “Instant Witness” trick is to interrogate

someone and hit a wall. The interrogator knows he can get a

confession, if only he can find the right “key.” So, he excuses

himself and walks around the station. There he finds a victim of

a similar crime and says, “You were just victimized, and I have

a guy here who did the same type of crime. Now is your chance

for revenge. Come with me, and point at this guy and say,

“That's the one I saw!”

The beauty of this is that a police station is full of victims,

24 hours a day. All of whom are pissed off, fully cooperative,

and hungry for your blood. Hell, half the time I have to watch

out that they did not start interrogating you (or worse)!

Third example:

Remember the old Road Runner cartoon? Remember Wile E.

Coyote and his affinity for products made by Acme? Strange,

wonderful stuff, wasn't it? Cops love the Road Runner show

too. We call this one the “Acme Gambit.”

While implying there is evidence against you, the

interrogator will mention that the newest method of obtaining

physical evidence does not involve fingerprints. Hell, everyone

knows about those old things! Instead, we check shoe prints!

Hell, everyone has to walk, so shoe prints are much easier to

get. Moreover, nobody wears gloves on their shoes! We will

take your shoes from you; we will circle the lines, crevices and

other wear marks; then we'll tell you were putting it into the

“Acme Shoe Analyzer,” and leave long enough to make you

start to sweat. After a while, we will come back into the

interview room, stand with our legs shoulder width apart and

hands spread wide holding a evidence folder and in a confident

voice state: OUR INVESTIGATION CLEARLY SHOWS

THAT YOU COMMITTED THIS CRIME !

The Acme Gambit can be played any way you want. I have

seen Dust Busters that were supposedly converted into devices

that can analyze the air you breathe out and compare it to air

“left at the crime scene.” I've seen copier machines with

motorcycle helmets attached to them that spit out one word

when the button is pressed: “LIAR!” Acme does a thriving

business in fake evidence. Too bad Acme itself is fake!

Fourth example:

Security cameras are everywhere these days. Unfortunately,

they usually do not work well or are not on when you need

them. Unless you are a cop, that is, because then you have the

Ultimate Candid Camera at your disposal. The Ultimate Candid

Camera is a wonderful device. When interrogating someone, a

cop just asks, “Is there any reason a hidden security camera

would show you doing something that you have not told me?”

Watch the suspects go “snake eyes” over that one. It is a killer,

believe me.

Fifth example:

Body space and how we use it is called the science of

proximics. When we speak to an acquaintance, we normally

stand from four to seven feet away from one another. If you are
closer to that person, that means that either there is a closer

relationship (such as a spouse or a relative) present, or you feel

comfortable with this person.

Interrogators monopolize body space. As they are

establishing rapport with you, they will initially sit from four

feet away to further out. As rapport is increased, they will move

closer. In the end, they will wind up so close that they are

practically sitting in your lap. We call this trick “Pavlov's

Interrogator.” We all remember what Pavlov did with bells and

dogs, right?

This technique does one of two things, and sometimes both:

1. It makes the rapport stronger, and you more likely to

confess, and/or

2. it makes you nervous, so that you can't keep your

composure. If this is the case, the interrogator will “dance

with you.” He will move closer if he thinks you are lying,

 then away if he thinks you are telling the truth. Reward

and punishment is the key here. If you say the right thing,

you are rewarded by the interrogator moving away

slightly. If you lie, then you get a lap full of Pavlov's

Interrogator.

Sixth example:

A variation of “Pavlov's Interrogator” is the interrogator who

moves in close after rapport is established, or the interrogation

is far along. This interrogator has a different method though,

called the “Commander Touchy Feely Attack.” Either he will

strengthen the rapport by touching you when he feels you are

weak (usually on the shoulder or arm), or he will do so when he

thinks it will annoy you. Personally, I hate strangers touching

me without my permission, don't you? Think about this

happening when you are strung out during an interrogation. It

will either comfort you (don't let it! ) or rattle you.

 If you want to throw a monkey wrench into either “Pavlov's

Interrogator” or “Commander Touchy Feely's” works, do this:

REACH OUT AND TOUCH THEM!!!

Cops hate to be touched. It goes against everything they have

been taught to accept in Officer Survival School. As

interrogators, they may be able to disguise it well, but they will

not like it. After all, you are the suspect and they are the cops...

Seventh example:

The interrogator may try to influence you to confess by

affirming your family values, or that of your pride. He may

point out that you are a “good American boy, who only made a

mistake!”

He will extol the virtues of family, friends and others who

believe in you, and would want you to “tell the truth.” We call

this one the “Pledge of the Allegiance Technique” since the

interrogator is trying to find something in which you have

pride. By attacking that symbol of your pride, he is hoping

you'll defend it by confessing. Guess what? It works!

Eighth example:

If you were dumb enough to work with someone else when

you were up to your mischief, you have a special treat coming.

We call this one the “Buddy-Boy Technique.” What happens is

that both you and Buddy Boy are brought to the station at once.

There we separate you, and convince you through dozens of

ways that your buddy has squealed on you. If we are successful

(and we usually are), then you will squeal on him. Then we

bring your statement to him and say, “Joe just told us the whole

story, and he's blaming it all on you! What do you have to say

about that, Buddy- Boy?”

Buddy-Boy will have a lot to say, believe me! In addition,

guess who the blame will be on now? It's great, come trial time!

Two idiots are then babbling about how it is the other one's
fault (snicker, snicker, snicker)! This technique works even

better if there are more Buddies to play against one another!

All the above tricks can be expounded upon in several books.

Most of them are pretty funny, except when you think about the

end result. All of the tricks are well based in psychological

theory and would not tend to make an innocent person confess.

However, if you made a mistake somewhere down the line and

committed a crime, chances are that they would work.

Why do these tricks work? Simple answer: We always

expect to get caught when we do something wrong. Always. Its

part of the risk we accept at the moment we commit a

wrongdoing.

What the interrogator attempts to do when he plays these

Jedi mind tricks on you is to find that magical key to your

psyche that will make you confess to him. The funny thing is

we all have that key within us. If given the proper stimuli, we
will all confess to something we did wrong. I will, you will.

Don't give the interrogator your “key.” If his methods start

to work on you, pull the plug on his interrogation and get the

hell out of there. You know how.

Here are three rules to remember if you feel your resolve

slipping away during the interrogation:

1. Admit Nothing.

2. Deny Everything.

3. Demand Proof.

It is all done with mirrors, and very little (if any) real

evidence in the end. Remember, they need your confession for

something; otherwise, they would take their ball (and

doughnuts) and go home.

Do not fall for any sneaky rapport tricks either. People tend

to like people who are most like themselves. Therefore, if the

interrogator appears to be very similar to you, he is not. He is

just jerking your chain, trying to see if you will fall for the old

“We're Almost Twins” trick. This is often used in the “Good

Cop - Bad Cop” game. The interrogators are hoping that you

will bond to one of them, and then confess to the guy you like

(or fear) the most. Remember, if you feel yourself starting to

lose your resolve, do not confess to the interrogator. Pull the

plug on the interrogation as quickly as you can.

CHAPTER TEN: THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD AND

THIS BOOK, GO YOU

Learning through the mistakes of others is one of life's

cheapest ways of gaining knowledge. Life experience,

according to an old friend of mine is where the rubber meets the

road. There is no substitute for it.

FIRST CASE

In the first chapter, I told you the story of a woman whose

lawyer I tricked into letting the woman confess. This is her

story, and those of others. Learn from them.

We were called to a hospital, where there was a dead man.

While dead men at hospitals are not very uncommon, most of

them have not had a major artery in their legs severed by an

ashtray.

Mr. Dead Man had been stabbed by someone in the leg,

cutting just such an artery the femoral, for those of you who are

fascinated by the fact that a little cut on the leg can kill) and

because of this cut, he had run a few quarts far too low. So low

that the Dead Man was in fact dead on arrival (or D.O.A.).

Now, when someone is killed, you naturally look at those

who love him first, those know him well second, and those hate

him last. Why? Actual street experience has shown us that the

people closest to you are the ones who kill you the most often,

except for robberies that go wrong and the occasional visit onto

mankind of those predators such as Jeffrey Dahlmer. So,

instead of looking for a mass murderer, we looked at the person

closest to him: His loving girlfriend. Who coincidentally was

conspicuously absent from the hospital. We found her standing

on the steps of the home she shared with the boyfriend,

spraying blood off those steps with a water hose. We figured

that Mr. Dead Man had been Dead Right There (D.R.T.) before

the ambulance arrived because of all the blood. In addition, we

thought that she at least knew what had happened to him.

I figured she had killed him, but we had no way of proving it

yet. No witnesses, no evidence? Hmmm, can we see a problem

here? All we had was Mr. Dead Man, and a pool of blood on a

doorstep. As with many cases, the only way to resolve the issue

was to interrogate Ms. Loving Girlfriend. After all, this could

have been a case of self-defense on her part or she could have

witnessed the murder and been too scared to report it for some

reason. I handled the interrogation, and tried to establish

rapport with Ms. Loving Girlfriend, who was hysterical by this

time (or pretending to be). She was clearly uncomfortable with

the interrogation, so she did Smart Thing Number One: She said

she wanted to speak with her attorney.

Whoa, there! I was being outfoxed from the start! I had to do

either one of two things: Stop the interrogation, or get her a

attorney. Naturally, rather than lose the chance of getting a

confession, I opted to see if she would call a attorney to the

station. Keep in mind though: Most cops would have given up.

I asked her if she had a specific attorney in mind, and she

stated she did. At that point, she did Dumb Thing Number One

and Two:

1. She gave me the name of a local attorney who everyone

regarded as less than capable. This showed me she had

not done her homework.

2. She called the attorney and asked him to come to the

station, where I could get a shot at manipulating him!

When the attorney arrived, I talked to him briefly. I

explained that as yet we did not know the circumstances of the

case, but were in the process of sorting the whole thing out and

were speaking to several potential “witnesses.” I then gave him

the following spiel, kind of a offshoot of Theme Development:

 Listen, this may be a case of self-defense , but we don't
know. The only thing we do know at this moment is that we
have a dead man, and that it appears she killed him. Now,
this wound isn't in the head, throat or chest, so it appears
something else was going on there tonight. I think it may
have been self-defense, but she has to tell me what
happened. I think you will agree with me that it is important
for us to stop any misunderstandings before they occur!

The sum of the whole case is this: The attorney allowed me

to interrogate his client, Ms. Loving Girlfriend. She at first

tried to claim that he had tried to beat her, and that she stabbed

him to protect herself. Later on, she backed down and admitted

that there had been only a loud verbal argument. And that she

stabbed him out of anger, thinking he was going to hit her.

Obviously, in the several hours we talked, much more than

that went on. I was sure to investigate the possibility that it was

self-defense, like asking if she had any marks or bruises on her,

or if she had tried to call for help on the working telephone at

their house. In the end, it was apparent that she had gotten
angry because she found him with another woman, and stabbed

him the leg to teach him a lesson. She didn't mean to kill him,

only to teach him a lesson. She sits in the Graybar Hotel to this

day, watching Flipper reruns, and her attorney put her there. We

can all learn from the mistakes of others. As one cop put it,

“You can learn positive things in ways that aren't positive.” He

was a funny guy. Did Loving Girlfriend belong in the Graybar?

Yes, she did and yes, she does. Did she have to go? No.

LESSON NUMBER ONE:

Choose a good attorney when you choose one. Loving

Girlfriend chose an attorney based upon the color of his

skin, and his relatively low rates. You do not base your

selection of a new car just on its color, do you? Do not

risk your freedom on such assumptions either. Get the

best product for your money.

LESSON NUMBER TWO:

Don't ever, ever talk to the police about your case if

you've committed a crime. Loving Girlfriend could have

brought up any number of defenses at her trial, if there

ever was one. Her attorney destroyed those possible

defenses by allowing me to talk to his client. Anyone can

be manipulated by a good interrogator. This particular

attorney thought I was on his side, so he let me inside his

defenses. Once that was done, I had access to his client.

LESSON NUMBER THREE:

If the police read you Miranda Warnings in a serious

case, assume you are in deep shit. Ask to speak to an

attorney, and then don't say a word to the police

afterwards other than to identify yourself and where you

live. Do not let your attorney agree to a interrogation, no

matter what. Anything you need to say can be said at trial.

Lesson Number Four:

 If you do consent to a interrogation for whatever reason,

have the good sense to pull the plug if you get

uncomfortable. Several times during Loving Girlfriend's

interrogation she knew she was slicing her own throat.

You could see that when she would glance at her attorney

during several of my questions. The attorney was too

spellbound to notice the room I was reserving at the

Graybar for Loving Girlfriend. She saw what was going

on, but thought her attorney knew best.

LESSON NUMBER FIVE: Don't be afraid to fire a

incompetent attorney on the spot. Your attorney will not

go to jail for you, or help you once you are there.

Let's learn some more from the mistakes of others!

Grandmother X leaves her house for a week and goes on

vacation. When she returns, someone has eaten all her lovely

food and stolen many lovely things. She has no idea who did
this, but she discovers that a pair of boots that Grandson X

expressed interest in are missing. Grandson X is fifteen and

lives elsewhere. Grandmother X wants us to speak with

Grandson Y. There is no evidence of any kind, and no

witnesses.

The first thing you have to know about this case is this: It is

very similar to most of the ones the police work. No evidence,

no witnesses and the only way it can be resolved is by

confession. Working burglaries is often referred to by

detectives as “chasing ghosts” because there is usually nothing

to see when you open the evidence file. Grandson X stayed at

the house upon occasion, so it would not matter if we found

fingerprints or not; his would be there anyway.

The second thing you should know is this: The police usually

do not need a parent's permission to speak with their child.

Juveniles have all the same rights adults do to include that of

Free Speech. Therefore, if I can show that a juvenile is willing

to talk to me, I win. Plain and simple: Juvenile confessions are

perfectly admissible. Even if Mommy-kins and Daddy-kins

disagree, the United States Supreme Court does not except in

limited circumstances.

I went to Grandson Y's house and offered him a chance to

tell his side of the story. Just as you would have done before

you read Chapter 6 of this book, he agreed to come to the

station for a coke, a smile, and an interrogation. It turns out that

Grandson X and his hoodlum friends pawned everything they

stole. I got a full confession and Grandson Y went to the

Graybar Hotel as a habitual offender.

LESSON NUMBER ONE:

Never go to the police department willingly. Had

Grandson X refused to cooperate, I would have thrown the

case away. I was too busy to play with a minor burglary

with no leads. However, since there was a suspect, I put

out my line and went trolling for a fish. And what a fishy

I caught!

LESSON NUMBER TWO:

Never make up lies on the spot during an interrogation.

Hell, half of us cannot effectively lie to our mothers, even

if we plan it out. What makes you believe you can do it to

people whose job it is to catch liars?

 LESSON NUMBER THREE:

Pull the plug if the interrogation goes too far, too fast. It's

always your option. Always! Grandson X did not want to

confess when I interrogated him, but I lured him in too

quickly. Do not get fooled by a interrogator who offers

you a plausible reason for committing a crime. You will

still go to jail, no matter what reason you give for

violating the law. And to top it off, instead of watching

re-runs of Flipper at the Graybar, the other inmates will

be amusing themselves with stories about the stupid

reason you gave for committed a crime. They committed

theirs for money or power.

NEXT CASE:

While I was a Patrol Officer some years ago, I was called to

a disturbance between a husband and wife. Remember what I

said in Chapter 2 about how the police hate to sort out your

petty problems? This was a petty problem, to say the least.

When I got there, I talked with these two Born Losers. Their

main problem in life was that she wanted to play bingo that

night, and he didn't... Hardly a police emergency.

However, while I was there, a strange thing happened. At one

point in the conversation, Mrs. Born Loser turned to me and for

no apparent reason, and said, “You're not going to arrest me for

bigamy, are you?”

When I casually asked why I would do that, she volunteered

that she was still married to two other men in addition to her

current husband. Since these two really annoyed me, I did some

checking and found out that she really was still married to two

other guys. I had a warrant for her arrest within days! To the

Graybar Hotel she went, where she presumably became a

marriage counselor to inmates or something equally fitting.

 Now, did Mrs. Born Loser have to go to jail? By no means.

Did she deserve to? Certainly! Not because she was guilty of a

horrendous crime. Every guy she married after husband number

one knew she was still married to someone else, so they made

their beds. Willing victims are not victims in my book. No,

Mrs. Born Loser went to jail because she was too stupid to be

allowed to walk the streets. Such people can hurt the reputation

of common criminals of being sly, smart and hard to catch....

LESSON NUMBER ONE:

Do not call the police to your house for anything unless

you are the bona fide victim of a crime. We do not want

to come there to listen to a tirade about how your wife

will not make you soup for dinner (That particular call

happened to me. I asked the man if he wanted me to call

Campbell's Soup to see if they could call out the Soup

Detectives to handle this pressing law enforcement

problem.) When you annoy cops, they are naturally going

to find ways to relieve their frustrations. It turns out the

Soup Nazi had marijuana lying out in plain sight in his

living room. Oops!

LESSON NUMBER TWO:

Do not ever volunteer information about the crimes you

have committed to anyone. Why Mrs. Born Loser would

volunteer such graphic details would be a mystery to

most, but I have seen it repeatedly. In addition, I have

developed a theory: People think that if you tell a cop you

did something wrong, he is going to tell you to go forth

and sin no more. Wake up! Cops are not priests, and

anything you tell a cop is liable to hurt you somewhere

down the road. Welcome to the jungle, baby! The only

true purpose a cop has in life is to place people in jail for

committing crimes. He's not a “Public Servant” in the

way you think. I have had people call me to do their

dishes, open their windows and unstop their toilets. All

that idiocy did was anger me and make me want to find a

reason to arrest you. Do not invite me into your life,

unless you really want me there. Moreover, if I am

talking to you, do not tell me about the crimes you've

committed: I'm duty bound to investigate them. You

know how it's done: You talk to a cop who you think is

your buddy and you say something extraordinarily stupid

like “You know, I probably shouldn't be telling you this,

but I was really wasted when I drove past you the other

day. I thought for sure you were going to pull me over and

arrest me and find my dope!” My question is this: Have

you lost your minds? Next time I see you, I am going to

remember the following:

You drive drunk.

You carry dope on you.

 Please do not make our lives so easy. We like challenges.

Next case:

I was called out from my nice warm bed to investigate a

possible sex case involving a little girl. When I read the report,

I found out the crimes had occurred several years ago and that

the little girl wouldn't talk to anyone. So here again I had no

evidence, and no witnesses. I did have a suspect's name, though.

To top it off, I could not even prove a crime had been

committed at the moment. But the weak link in any crime is the

suspect, so I again put out my line and went trolling for a fishy.

I found Chester the Molester at his house. Because of his

living conditions, and his bad hygiene problem I figured that

Chester the Molester just couldn't relate to women his age (or

over the age of ten) and would be open to me if I portrayed

myself to be the same way.

I offered him a chance to tell his side of the story (heard that
one before, haven't you?) and he came to the station for a coke,

a smile, and an interrogation. On the way in, I told Chester the

Molester about the recent death of my wife (who is still alive,

actually) and how hard it was for me to begin dating again. I

also made it a point to stare at several young girls on the way to

the station, and to make some comments about their attributes.

Chester thought I was all right by him at this point. When I

interrogated Chester, I used this Bait Question:

Chester, you heard about that dentist in Florida that gave

everyone A.I.D.S., haven't you? You know that they were
able to take samples of the people's blood he infected and
trace the virus back to him. That is because no matter who
you have contact with, some of your blood remains in
their bloodstream. Chester, when Acme tests this girl's
blood, is there any reason that it would show that your
blood has had contact with hers? Now, I am not saying
you did this, but obviously, there is a reason why I'm
talking to you.

This was Chester's outstanding reply: “Uhhh... Uhhh...

Uhhhh... Maybe from kissing? Uhhhh....”

Next, I brought in my file folder full of barking dog

complaints. You know, the one I had scrawled Chester's name

on and written SEX OFFENDER on in big letters? Yep, that is

the one. When Chester saw this folder, he did two things:

1. He said, “Oh my God, all that information is on me?”

2. He fainted.

When he woke up, we talked. While we talked, I kept

moving closer and trying to establish more rapport with him.

However, Chester did not like to be touched. In fact, he literally

cringed when I did it. So, every time I thought Chester was

either getting ready to lie, or was lying, I touched him. Chester

broke in record time for a child molester. Off to the Graybar he

went, much to my joy. I hope that someone is touching him in

ways he's never been touched before at this moment. Moreover,

in places he has never been touched before too, for that matter.

Chester made several mistakes:

LESSON NUMBER ONE:

Do not fall for the ploy of a interrogator who seems too

much like you. Chester did, and paid the price he so richly

deserved. At one point in this interrogation, I went out

into the department and got a picture of another officer's

little daughter. I put it in my wallet, and later showed it to

Chester. I told him that this was my latest girlfriend.

Chester, being a deviant, bought it. Why? Maybe

everyone likes to think that there is someone who is just

like them in the world. Do I need I say it again? Do not go

to the police department, do not go to the police

department, and don’t go to the police department. There!

Now, I will not repeat it again!

LESSON NUMBER TWO:

Ignore Bait Questions, and give firm denials of guilt.

Chester obviously was so sucked in by the Acme Blood

 Analyzer that he lost all hope of trying not to confess.

Interrogators will use real news events such as I did, mix

in a little lies and behold: A miracle piece of evidence

appears that will magically convict you beyond a shadow

of a doubt. Bullshit!

LESSON NUMBER THREE:

Don't pay attention to file folders. Most of the time they

contain nothing of importance. Remember: If the cops

didn't need a confession, they wouldn't be talking to you.

And by all means, don't faint when you see your name on

a folder. We'll just laugh at you afterwards.....

Chester belongs where I put him. However, had he not

confessed, he'd still be out there on the streets living his

pathetic life. I don't condone his behavior, but as I said in the

beginning, I had to tell them at his trial that I could not have

solved the case without a confession. He knows where he

slipped up: His shark told him in their first consultation.

NEXT CASE:

I had dealt with Little Miss Priss one time before, during an

employee theft investigation. While she wasn't a suspect, I still

kept a record of her normal body language (and what a body she

had, believe me), and the things that interested her, such as

hobbies. I did things like this for a good reason: You can never

tell when anyone will become a suspect in this business. Guess

what? In a few months, Little Miss Priss did become a suspect

in a separate case.When this second investigation rolled around,

I already had lots of background information on Little Miss

Priss. I went to her house and she too wanted a coke, a smile

and a interrogation. So I gave it to her.

When I went through the Kinesic Interview questionnaire, it

was obvious that there were differences in this interrogation

and the last one. During the first interrogation, she showed
strong signs of being honest. Nevertheless, in the second, she

showed different reactions to the same questions: In short, the

differences spelled deception.

Little Miss Priss confessed as soon as I brought out the file

folder. She cried and uncrossed her legs so many times I

thought she would get a cramp. Of course, this one file folder

did have some real evidence in it. She had pawned some of the

stolen property locally. However, here's the funny thing: The

property she pawned did not have serial numbers and was so

commonplace that the victim would not have been able to

identify it from any other similar merchandise. Little Miss

Priss went to the Graybar Hotel, where she was very welcome!

Here are Little Miss Priss' errors:

LESSON NUMBER ONE:

Do not let the cops get a baseline on you. We do this all the

time to some degree with everyone. I even know what my

wife's baseline is, and I'm waiting for the day that she tries

to lie to me, yes sir! The less contact you have with the cops,

the better. Oh, and we share information too: Anyone

investigating Little Miss Priss in the future now knows what

her normal behavior is, in addition to her deceptive behavior.

They can also learn that she likes Mexican men, drives

Hondas exclusively and has very shapely legs! All by

punching her name into a computer. Isn't technology

wonderful?

LESSON NUMBER TWO:

Never think that sex appeal and crying will stop a cop from

doing his job. A quick roll in the sack with someone is not
 worth the career of a cop, in most cases. It will not even get

you out of a speeding ticket, these days.

LESSON NUMBER THREE:

Even if the interrogator confronts you with what appears to

be real evidence, don't confess. You may still be able to beat

the evidence and the charge in court. If you confess, you

have lost that option. Never confess! Never!

NEXT CASE

Dangerous Danny was a street hoodlum from the time he

was twelve. Not only that, but when I first met him at age

twelve, he was already six foot tall and weighed close to two

hundred pounds. Consequently, as he grew older he had little or

no fear of anyone. I'd heard that Danny had something to do

with a rash of burglaries that had went on in my city, and

looked him up to investigate the possibilities.

 When I interrogated him, I found that this huge man was

cocky and belligerent. Nobody thought he would confess to

anything. Danny radiated confidence throughout the

interrogation, although he still scored out as being more

deceptive than honest. About two hours into the interrogation

though, Danny started to get more nervous. He did not quite

have enough balls to get up and leave, but he wasn't about to

confess yet either.

I noticed that Dangerous Danny started playing with things

on my desk, which is common with deceptive people: They try

to relieve their stress by doing something physical. Dangerous

Danny then started picking up my business cards, and placing

them in his mouth. This activity got more pronounced moment

by moment, until Dangerous Danny at last ate one. Then he ate

two cards at once, and then three at once. He just started

picking them up, and swallowing them. I had never seen

anything like it.

 After he had eaten several more cards, I asked him, “Say,

Danny, are you real nervous about something, or just hungry?”

Dangerous Danny realized that his efforts not to confess

were backfiring, because he could not control the stress. This

was not a drive-by shooting, or a street fight, and Danny just

couldn't control himself in that type of situation. Danny

confessed after he realized that he was losing it: He just wanted

away from the stress.

Dangerous Danny's mistakes were these:

LESSON NUMBER ONE:

Be prepared for the stress that you are going to feel. It is

perfectly normal to feel it, as even innocent people feel

stressed out when being interrogated. But innocent people

get more relaxed as time goes on. Guilty suspects like

Dangerous Danny get more upset.

LESSON NUMBER TWO:

 Control your body language. Be aware of what you are

doing. Move your hands slowly, and use open gestures

when talking. If you cannot stop your hands from

fidgeting, sit on them. Otherwise they might start

reaching for those oh so tasty business cards. Yum, yum!

NEXT CASE:

Ms. Righteous Robber was smarter than most, or maybe just

more stubborn. While she agreed to have a coke and a smile,

she decided part way through that interrogation sucked. She got

up and tried to leave. The only problem was that I had already

gotten Probable Cause to arrest her from another witness (In

fact, it was Little Miss Priss who gave her to me). Therefore, I

merely followed her outside the station and arrested Ms.

Righteous Robber anyway. She confessed shortly after I read

her Miranda warnings during the second interrogation. Why, I

do not know. I personally believe that she confessed because

she just was not sure how much I knew. Had she been aware

that I only knew enough to arrest her, but not prosecute her, she

would not have spilled the beans at all!

Here are her mistakes:

LESSON NUMBER ONE:

Do not panic if arrested. It means nothing other than there

is Probable Cause. Probable Cause arrests are nolo

persecuted or thrown out of court every day.

LESSON NUMBER TWO:

Never lose the faith. Keep making denials until that nasty

old interrogator gives up and goes back to his doughnuts.

LESSON NUMBER THREE:

Confessing never helps you, just the cops. If you want to

cut a plea bargain, get one through your attorney.

 NEXT CASE:

The Boyz From the Hood liked stealing cars, and they were

damned good at it!. They stole as many as 10 a weekend from

rental car lots (no one usually notices those puppies are missing

until DAYS after they have been stolen), and they had a grand

time driving all around Florida. They would steal a car in one

city, dump it in another, steal another, dump it in another city,

and keep stealing and dumping cars until they made it home

after a long weekend of partying from coast-to-coast. We’d find

out (sometimes as long as a month afterward!) that a rental car

was stolen, and it would be recovered in Daytona Beach, but

we’d always find rental cars stolen from Jacksonville dumped

in our city every weekend. We kept scratching our heads until

we started putting together a pattern and followed the daisy-

chain of stolen and recovered rental cars. Our flowchart ran

across an entire wall and covered it from carpet to ceiling.

 Eventually we got wind of who was responsible for all the

stolen cars from our city, and the stolen ones we recovered that

the Boyz dumped in our city, and we went looking for them. As

luck would have it, one night we caught them driving in two

stolen cars.

We separated them, and placed them in different cells. They

could still talk to one another, but they had to shout. We closed

the door to the cell area, and let them think they were alone, and

they were, except for the tape recorders we had running....

By listening to what they were saying, we figured out who

was the toughest of the Boyz. Therefore, we took him away and

put him somewhere entirely different. The other Boyz did not

know what was going on. All they knew was that the toughest

member of their group had been with the police for hours now.

Was he talking? Could be!

We then took the information we were getting live from the

cells, and put some of it down on paper. We forged the leader's

signature on the bottom, and placed it it the interview room. We

then brought in the next of the Boyz, and " accidently " let him

see the fake statement. He went bananas! The rest was a

downhill run. Everyone confessed except for the toughest of the

Boyz. I hear his gang nearly killed him with one hell of an

ass beating later on. We nailed them for over a hundred car

thefts. The Graybar Hotel does not own a used car lot, so they

cannot escape.

The Boyz collective mistakes were these:

LESSON NUMBER ONE:

Talking about your crimes is always a mistake.

LESSON NUMBER TWO:

If you commit crimes with friends, there is always a

chance they will talk. But don't assume they have. It's a

tough call, but my advice is to wait it out and don't

 confess just because a cop tells you your friend did. You

can always accuse the friend of lying.

The Boyz probably would not have been caught if they had

switched it up a little and not stolen as many cars. The lawof

averages caught up with them, and they were fairly predictable

once we knew what they were doing.

LAST CASE:

I was called out because we simply couldn't figure out who a

guy we arrested was one night. He had four or five types of

identification, and had given us several different names too.

I had a officer bring me over to the Unknown Prisoner's cell.

Then I acted like I was resisting arrest. My fellow officer

promptly beat the shit out of me (I think he enjoyed doing it a

little too much, myself), then he threw me into the Unknown

Prisoner's cell.
 Once in there, I asked the Unknown Prisoner why he had

been arrested. He told me he had fooled the cops by giving

them a false name, and would soon be out of jail. He then told

me his real name, and told me he was a fugitive besides. Then

he told me about other crimes he had committed.

Talk about an easy job. All I needed was a bloody nose for

that one. The best part was when I told the Mystery Prisoner

who I was! The look on his face was as if I had hit him with a

brick. Something like “Oh, shit!”

LAST LESSON:

Shut up! You have the right to remain silent. Use it!
YOU CAN LEARN A LOT FROM A DUMMY. JUST DON’T BE ONE!
CHAPTER ELEVEN: GRADUATION TIME

Well, that is it. I hope that this book has been informative,
and as much fun to read as it was for me to write. Above all

else, I hope that it convinces you that beating a police

interrogation can be done, but it is not the easiest thing to do in

the world.

I hope that what I have done is educate you enough that you

now know what tricks to expect if you have to endure an

interrogation. If you have the choice, stay home, stay safe and

stay away from the Graybar Hotel. Have a coke and a smile in

the privacy of your own home, and screw the interrogation.

However, there are always those of you who want to

push things as far as you can. You enjoy taking risks, just

to see how far you can go. That is okay! You are the ones

who force us to modify our techniques, so that we get

better each time. You make the game worthwhile.

Moreover, you are now more worthy opponents, armed

with determination and knowledge.