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The Power of Symbolic Language and Its Effect On the Developed Repertoire of Female

Students from the College of Arts and Letters, Diliman

Submitted by:

Maria Elena Grace D. Katigbak

An Undergraduate Thesis

Presented to the

Department of Speech Communication and Theatre Arts

In Partial fulfilment of

the requirements for the degree of Bachelor of Arts

in Speech Communication

College of Arts and Letters

University of the Philippines

Diliman

May 2015
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ABSTRACT

This is a qualitative case study on the developed repertoire, or patterns of communication that

feel natural, of the female students of the College of Arts and Letters (CAL), UP Diliman, based

on the language that we use. A close observation of the CAL community was conducted to

determine what kind of language was used to describe forward and forward-thinking women in

the dating scene, or women who are perceived as aggressive towards men they found attractive.

Simultaneously, female students from CAL were observed based on their reception on the use of

the Filipino language.

Three (3) focus group discussions were conducted with 5 participants each, amounting to

fifteen (15) participants in the focus group discussions. Six (6) online users of the site, ask.fm,

from the College of Arts and Letters were anonymously interviewed by the researcher using

revised questions from the focus group discussion, and additional questions based on the answers

given by the online users. These respondents represent the CAL community whose language use

the researcher was observing.

The repertoire of five (5) female CAL students were observed as well as two (2) online users

of the site, ask.fm, who are female students from CAL. Their repertoire was gauged in relation to

the language that the students from CAL use. One focus group discussion was conducted with

the five female students from CAL and their everyday habits with men were recorded using a

weekly journal which were then collected by the researcher at the end of the study. Focus group
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discussion questions were asked to the online users as well as additional questions which were

added based on the answers of the online user.

Data was transcribed by the researcher after every focus group discussion. They were then

analysed in a causal-effect manner, in which the language use of the CAL community had its

bearings on the repertoire of female students from CAL. Bourdieu analyses the habitus of an

individual based on the capital of society (language, class, etc.) and how it predisposes

individuals to act in certain ways and react to certain instances. Blumer also analyses the effect

of language on an individual in Symbolic Interactionism by saying that language shapes our

perception of things.

Given the symbolic power of language, given the Patriarchal Universe of Discourse of the

English language (Wood, 1997) and the feminine nature of the Filipino language (Torres et al,

2002), Filipino women are coerced to act in a timid ‘mahinhin’ sort of way, hence, the Filipino

language was used as a tool to discourage women to pursue their goals.

However, this study was able to find that despite the coercive nature of the Filipino language,

the emergence of gender-sensitive studies (more frequent in universities) was able to give way to

gendered values. Julia T. Wood describes the clash between deeply engrained values and

gendered values as confusing attitudes (Wood, 2013).

This study was able to find that the repertoire of female CAL students may be described as

freely guarded. Free in a sense that they act based on what they feel because of their gendered

values, until they realize that what they are doing is ‘wrong’ based on what the CAL community

is communicating through their language, hence, guarded.

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CHAPTER I

INTRODUCTION

Filipinos, especially those who spend their first two decades in the academe, are most

proficient in Filipino and English. It is not surprising because, as mandated by law, the official

language of the Philippines is ‘Filipino and, otherwise provided by law, English.’

The prominence of both languages in the Philippine culture has had an impact on the lives of

Filipino women as we know it today. Both have their own socio-psychological bearings on our

culture.

First is the use of language in our everyday lives. Speech as we know it is the practice of

language. According to Bourdieu, whose theory on Habitus will be delved on in this study, one

cannot divorce the relationship of language and speech. Although speech (knowledge), he argues,

is a precondition for language (theory, abstract), their dichotomy is also problematic because the

understanding of that knowledge is achieved through language (Bourdieu 1991).

Blumer’s theory on Symbolic Interactionism may also further this claim by saying that

language provides us with means to construct meaning through symbols. And this meaning, as

defined by language, facilitates perception and thinking (Blumer, 1986).

How language facilitates perception, then, also influences our form of expression. This then

shows that the Filipino and English language facilitates the Filipino citizens’ thoughts,

perception, and forms of expression.

To begin with, the Philippines is known to acquire its “effeminate” nature from its language.

The state itself is called “Ina ng Bayan” (Torres et. al, 2002), and the construction of our country
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is inherently feminine; how we refer to it as our ‘motherland’ and how it takes care of us like a

nurturing mother should. The ‘nationalist (nationalism)’ construct is also very feminine; it talks

about caring for the country and all those traits that the relationship between mothers and

children have. These characteristics put significance on Filipino women.

However, because of this and other aspects of the Filipino language, the Filipino woman has

been coerced to act and react in a certain way. The phrase ‘dalagang Pilipina’ (Filipino Maiden)

or ‘Maria Clara’ is used to describe a timid girl who waits for suitors to woo her. As per Ruben

Tagalog’s song “Ang Dalagang Pilipina”, Filipino women or a “dalagang Pilipina’ is such;

“mayumi, mahinhin, main, at lahat ng ayos”.

In Philippine courtship, or ligawan, a dalagang Pilipina is expected to be pakipot or shy and

secretive about her feelings. The opposite of pakipot is malandi (flirt) which is, more or less,

considered taboo in Philippine culture.

Of course, because a dalagang Pilipina should be pakipot, potential suitors had to find a way

to gauge if their feelings were ever going to be reciprocated should they continue courting their

beloved. The practice of tuksuhan (feeling out) is done whenever a man wanted to test the

waters. In this case, the boy’s friends would tease the ‘suspected couple’ without the boy directly

courting the girl, if the girl chooses not to reciprocate his feelings, then he will be able to save

face.

Being unable to express one’s feelings, a man is branded as torpe (stupid), dungo (extremely

shy), or duwag (coward). In these circumstances, the man will ask his friend to act as a tulay

(bridge) to help in the courtship process.

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On an entirely different spectrum, the English language is ruled by a patriarchal universe of

discourse (Wood, 1997). History is the ‘history of man’ and women are borne only from men as

per the Abrahamic religions’ creation story and various other religious stories where man was

created first and woman was created because the man was lonely.

Women’s hardships are often euphemized; like how childbirth is described as a life-changing

and amazing experience, when to those who have experienced childbirth can claim that it is in

fact, not amazing.

To further illustrate masculine discourse in the English language, Malcolm Cowburn speaks

of hegemonic discourse in his paper; ‘Hegemony and discourse: reconstruing the male sex

offender and sexual coercion by men’ (Cowburn, 2005). He, by following the work of linguists

and communication experts, defines ‘hegemonic discourse’ as a communication setting where

power is the key mover and this power is bestowed on males.

However, in the Philippines, not much has been discussed regarding the standpoint of males

in our society. In the same way both Filipino and English, in a manner, pins down women’s

experiences and holds them on a pedestal, so it glorifies men and expects them to be strong, as

illustrated in the concept of hegemonic masculinity (Connell, 1980).

Derogatory terms both in English and Filipino are used to refer to men who do not live up to

society’s expectations such as, ‘bakla’ (gay)-which is also sexist against the LGBT community,

‘supot’ (uncircumcised), and the term ‘emasculated’ is used to describe a man who has been

deprived of strength-strength of which is required to perform duties that society has bestowed on

men.
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Theoretically, the situation is that women, and to some extent, men, are put on a pedestal, and

are also dominated by a system that is heavily influenced by the language that we use, the irony

is unfortunate but the reality remains. Its effect on women is drastic, however invisible to the

public. Women are unable to express themselves fully because of this dominating culture that is

not imposed by anyone-not any man, but cultivated by a language that has been formed in the

centuries that it is being used and is continually evolving. The emergence of a dominant

language is to the disadvantage of the minority (Bourdieu, 1991).

The dominant effect of the English language on men, the idealistic and somewhat oppressive

form of the Filipino language on women, and their baseless form with regard to the everyday

experiences of women is reason enough for all feminist communication theories to be in the

critical sphere. Change is sought out for women to be more outspoken, if they choose to be, with

regard to their experiences.

However, despite those deeply engrained values in our system, the advent of gender sensitive

studies have given leave for society to be more fluid with gender roles and expectations. It has

given society the concept of gendered values. Women in the Philippines who are growing up in a

semi-modern society are reaching a certain level of empowerment and men, although to a lesser

extent, no longer feel the need to be the dominating-assertive force in all aspects of life.

The clash between these deeply engrained values (structured norms) and gendered values is

coined in Gendered Lives as confusing attitudes (Wood, 2013). These are defined as values and

beliefs that aren’t always clear, even to us.

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On the subject of attitude, Diana Ivy and Phil Backlund analyse self-perception in four

elements, one of which is having a repertoire or developed patterns of communication that feel

natural to us (Backlund and Ivy, 2000). They highlight other’s perception as personally effective

by the number of times an individual is positively regarded.

It is to what extent women and men in the College of Arts and Letters, UP, Diliman have

developed their repertoire given the circumstances illustrated above; language and the genesis of

gender sensitive studies.

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Statement of the Problem

What are the effects of language on the developed repertoire of female College of Arts and

Letters students?

Research Objectives

1. To discover the extent of confusing attitudes established by the College of Arts and Letters

majors towards female CAL students based on their use of the Filipino and English

language.

2. To determine the perceived developed repertoire of female College of Arts and Letters

students based on the use of the Filipino and English language.

3. To facilitate discussions on gender roles and expectations.

Definition of Terms

Repertoire

Conceptual: developed patterns of communication that feel natural to us (Backlund and Ivy,

2000).

Operational: patterns of communication that feel natural to us and are developed through

childhood socialisation and everyday social structures.

Filipino

Conceptual: one of the two main languages used in the Philippines (Constitution of the

Republic of the Philippines, 1987).

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Operational: also known as Tagalog, it is the mother tongue of Manila residents in the

Philippines.

English

Conceptual: one of the two main languages used in the Philippines (Constitution of the

Republic of the Philippines, 1987).

Operational: the main language used in academic institutions in the Philippines.

Language

Conceptual: a system of units realizable in some sensory medium, only certain combinations

of which have meaning by convention and hence, useful for communication, facilitating

perception, thinking, and transfer and accumulation of knowledge (De Villa, 2012).

Operational: arbitrary and dynamic set of symbols which facilitate perception, thinking, and

expression.

Gender

Conceptual: psychological and emotional characteristics of individuals. These characteristics

may be understood to be masculine, feminine, or androgynous.

Operational: those masculine or feminine traits that are motivated by society’s norms.

Culture

Conceptual: a map that allows a person to understand the territory in which he exists (St. Clair

et. al, 2005).

Operational: a dynamic and changeable sphere which maps out the territory of an individual

in that sphere.
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Confusing Attitudes

Conceptual: unclear personal perspectives (Wood, 2013).

Operational: unclear personal perspectives which stem from a clash between deeply engrained

values and gendered values.

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Significance of the Study

As of now, although there is a wide coverage of theories involving language and meaning,

there is little study evaluating its effects on a minority whose everyday experiences are subjected

to the use of language and how the dominant culture makes use of this capital (Bourdieu, 1991).

This study may open a series of experiments or case studies on the effects of a changed language

discourse on the repertoire of an individual or how they communicate with others. It will also

explore the importance of language in our everyday interaction in a dominant-subordinate

culture.

Aside from its contributions to the academe, this may also act as a stepping stone to a

movement to change sexist language. Women will no longer feel the need to conceal their

thoughts if there is no negativity in the language that we use towards them. They will no longer

be branded as malandi and men will no longer be branded as supot if they are perceived as

incapable of courting a woman they admired. And generally, women and men will be allowed to

think and act the way they want to behave.

Language is dynamic-a view shared by linguists and communication specialists alike. This

can be seen by how the lower class in the Philippines has been known to express themselves

using the ‘jejemon’ language because of their inability to express themselves in academic

English and how the gay community established their own ‘beki’ language as a pseudo-esoteric

form of communication (Casabal, 2008).

In the same way that a certain standpoint like the lower class and the gay community can

outwardly create a language more suited for better communication and forms of expression,
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women can also restructure or organise a language that is currently believed to be a hindrance to

our expressive nature.

This study also delved on a spectrum most gender theorists have found superfluous until

today-the effect of language on Filipino men. We know what theorists have told us, that being the

dominant standpoint, men enjoy a status in society that uplifts their psychological growth.

However, that is not always the case; the effect of a male-biased language is not always positive

for all men who do not meet the standards of society’s masculine ideals.
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Scope and Limitations

This study is purely heteronormative. It stands to observe the developed repertoire based on

the development of confused attitudes of biological females and males.

The study also focuses on middle to upper class university students and the effect of language

use on their behaviour.

Other factors, not including language, may also contribute to the development of the

participant’s repertoire; age, past experiences, etc. These circumstances will be noted.

A series of focus group discussions as well as journals will act as the main source of data for

this experiment. The barrier between participant and society is also fluid.

This study will only focus on the effect of language on society but it will not focus on the

effect of society, or structural norms, on language as described in Bourdieu’s theory.

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CHAPTER II

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

This chapter is divided in three parts; language and symbolic meaning, the Filipino language,

and gender, language, and culture. All sections include language as their central figure.

The first section focuses on the symbolic power of language and how people extract meaning

out of it. The second is the nature of the Filipino language, that being tagalog and the English

language, as per the Philippine Constitution. The third section incorporates language with gender

and culture.

Language and Symbolic Meaning

I. The Power of Discourse: NGO’s, Gender, and National Democratic Politics

Dorothea Hilhorst claims in her study that the emergence of a dominant discourse in politics

has left the Cordillera NGO’s as marginalised communities in Baguio (Hilhorst, 2001).

Upon the separation of reafirmists (RA’s) and rejectionists (RJ’s) of the National Democratic

movement in the 1990’s, NGO’s in the Cordillera regions worked on the development of their

society.

However, after numerous attempts of working with the European Union to develop the

Cordillera regions, the European Community (EC) labelled them as ‘politically

motivated’ (activists) and acted on their lands without the cooperation of the Cordilleran NGO’s.

Because of this label, individual NGO’s were also labelled as activists.

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Even before that, during the Marcos Era, Cordilleran NGO’s also had to watch their language

in fear of being branded as NPA’s. The use of the terms imperialism or human rights in fear of

being branded as communists plagued NGO’s in the 1970’s-1980’s.

II. Becoming Symbol-Minded

Judy S. DeLoache says that symbolic artefacts are everywhere and are an important feature of

modern life (DeLoache, 2004). Much has been proven regarding the relationship between human

interaction and the symbolic meaning behind our actions. Take for example the dynamism of

children’s interactions with people at the onset of their language-learning years (2 years old and

above); the constant change in language also changes their perception of their surroundings.

DeLoache summarizes symbols by saying that 1) symbols represent things, 2) symbols are

intentional, and 3) symbols are general.

Basically, symbols represent things in that they are about something, symbols are intentional

in that they are being intended for something or done for a purpose, and symbols are general in

that they can be used to represent anything else; spoken words, printed words, pictures, etc.

III. How Sexually Violent Language Perpetuates Rape Culture and What You Can Do

About It

Erin McKelle begins with most theorists assumption that language shapes thought and opens

the idea that the English language is, in itself, violent and filled with sexually violent meaning.

When a person is angry s/he tells someone to “go f*ck themselves”, to insult they say they’ll

“tear you a new one”, we “force ourselves” to do what we don’t want to do or to do what others

don’t want us to do, and when we are flirting it is called “hitting on someone”.
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However trivial this this language construction may be, Erin McKelle argues that it has

perpectuated a culture of sexual violence against men and women for the longest time (McKelle,

2014). McKelle calls for a stop on the use of this kind of language and for better education for

other English speakers.

The Filipino Language

I. The Filipino Language and Our Feminine Character

The feminine character of the Philippines is said to have grown from its language (Torres,

2002). We refer to our state as “Inang Bayan” (motherland) and our rhetoric often describes the

wonders of its resources and richness in nature. Nature, as often depicted in literature, connotes a

“woman”, more particularly a mother.

Nationalism also evokes feminine images. It speaks of caring for and protecting the state, as

depicted in our National Anthem: “alab ng puso, sa dibdib mo’y buhay”. These are all constructs

of what a woman is and should be like in the Philippines, loving, acring, and protective of its

offsprings.

It goes without saying that women in the Philippines have one important duty to the

Philippine society; to be a mother.

II. The English Language and the Patriarchal Universe of Discourse

The terms housewife, mothering, and maternal instinct as opposed to the terms businessman,

actor, and doctor indicate a language that accords priority to masculine interests (Wood, 1997).

According to Wood and several other communication theorists, this Patriarchal Universe of

Discourse affects the way in which women can properly express themselves and the manner in
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which people relate with them. Oftentimes the roles of women are confined only to household

duties and motherhood. What is worse is that the experiences of women are often labelled from

the standpoint of men.

Take for example childbirth. English-speaking community’s discourse describe it as a

wonderful and life-changing experience, all connoting the idea that childbirth is the same

experience for women.

Because of these descriptions, men and women (who have not experienced childbirth) alike

are made to believe in this amazing experience. However, our rhetoric fails to include the

gruesome experience of discharging a large mass from our uterus.

This discourse, agrees Wood and communication theorists such as Bourdieu, is the effect of

the social-historical conditions surrounding the emergence of dominant cultures based on the

language one uses.

III. Pagkababae at Pagkalalake (Femininity and Masculinity) Developing A Filipino Trait

and Predicting Self-Esteem and Sexism

Valledor-Lukey was able to find that collectivistic traits were often regarded more positively

within the Filipino community. In particular, women who were seen as maasikaso or being

caring, maramdamin or being sensitive, and possessing a malakas na pakiramdam (strong

feeling) were all positively viewed whereas the female trait mapagkimkim which refers to the

trait one has when one keeps feelings to oneself is often viewed negatively because it is viewed

as an individualist trait.
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Gender, Language, and Culture

I. The Role of Feminine Rhetoric in Male Presidential Discourse Achieving Speech

Purpose

Lindsay Larner begins her thesis by creating a distinction between male and female discourse.

According to scholars, male discourse has been proved to be more assertive and exclusive and

female discourse has been proved to be more unifying and intimate. These distinctions are a

product of distinguishable evolutionary pressures, biological features, and socializations (Larner,

2008).

Until the 20th century, women were not allowed to participate in public address and politics

because their rhetoric and dispositions were considered too feeble. In the 1920’s, when women

were granted the right of suffrage in America, women either adapted to the male rhetoric and was

considered abrasive or asexual or they continued in their own manner and was considered

defective. This ‘double bind’ plagues the rhetoric of women who struggle to cope with

contradicting expectations.

Lindsay Larner’s thesis sought to determine if a more feminine discourse can be incorporated

in a male politician’s speech. She examined two kinds of speeches, inaugural speeches and

nomination acceptance speeches. The former’s goal being to unify citizenry and the latter’s goal

being to display the leader as a more competent ruler than his adversary.
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Larner argues that to be more effective, male politicians should use the feminine-style

discourse in their inaugural speeches in order to create a collaboration between the speaker and

the audience.

II. Hegemony and Discourse: Reconstruing the Male Sex Offender and Sexual Coercion

by Men

Cowburn illustrates hegemonic discourse “in relation to the social construction of the male

sex offender” (Cowburn, 2005). He argues that the forensic discourse creates a social reality for

the sex offender that only makes certain sexual acts as offensive and therefore other acts, in the

penal code, are excluded ignored, hence, considered ‘legal’.

Purvis and Hunt describe discourse as such; a framework which limits, influences, and

provides distinguishable meaning and experiences. It also provides distinct mediums which

communication may take place.

Connell also describes hegemonic masculinity as heavily focused on praxis. It is the practice

of men and the configuration of gender practice (Connell, 1995) which allow the legitimacy of

patriarchy. However, this concept has been under critical scrutiny in relation to the problem of

theorizing male dominance.

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III. Gender Difference in Language Use: An Analysis of 14,000 Text Samples

Matthew L. Newman and his colleagues conducted an empirical research to discover the

difference of language use between genders. They analyzed 14,000 texts using a dictionary with

2,000 words in 74 categories.

The study found that women more or less used psychological and social words as opposed to

men who used objective and impersonal words (Newman, 2008).

Although the analysis of words in sentences may be out of context and crude, it provides a

framework for the analysis of difference in language use.

IV. Language and Construction of Gender: a Feminist Critique of SMS Discourse

Ghulam Ali Lubna Akhlaq Khan introduces her study by saying that gender is a social

construct made for individuals and the basic tool for the construction of identity is language

(Khan, 2012). She analyzed the perception of women in Pakistan through 400 messages

belonging to both genders.

In 2012 she found that because of the negative effects of female stereotypes in media and in

their religious culture, Pakistani women were referred to using derogatory and demeaning terms

and content. The analyzed terms enumerated are from messages in English; women are liars,

talkative, women prefer outer appearance, women are dubious and enigmatic, illogical,

materialistic, and many other depreciating adjectives.

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She calls for a change in discourse to answer the gender disparity in Pakistan.

V. Gay Language: Defying the Structural Limits of English Language In the Philippines

Ones sexual orientation has become a moral principle because of religious and cultural

ideologies. To call someone bakla (gay) has often been negatively connoted for a man who is

unable to conform to society’s vision of a man (Casabal, 2008).

Because of this, the gay community has developed its own language which has been labelled

as the ‘beki’ language. Norberto V. Casabal found that the reason for this is for the gay

community to ward of the evil spell that society has cast against them. It is to create a cure to the

malady spited by people with strong patriarchal values, most who are against the gay community

(Casabal, 2008).

Words such as Bading Garci, pa-mihn, and pa-girl are used like a magic spell that creates

layers of protection against a structure that opposes them.

Casabal used phonetics to analyze meaning behind the words in the gay language. Most

colourful words denote negative meaning, however, they are carried out positively so as to cover

up the negativity behind them.

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VI. The Viscera-Sucker and the Politics of Gender

Pre-colonialism found evidence of a female dominated Philippines, particularly-as found by

the Spaniards, in Northern Luzon. The prowess and “nakedness” of the Babaylanes, or female

shamans/warriors, repulsed the Spanish missionaries (_________, year).

It is Menez’s belief that the concept of ‘asuang’ was a propaganda promulgated by the

Spaniards in order to subjugate the power of women as found in the Philippines. Traces of

Baylan characteristics can be found as twisted interpretations of who they are in the idea of an

asuang.

For instance, an asuang has a propensity for human foetuses which can be attributed to the

fact that Baylan’s work as midwives. The “mambo-tambo” dance done by the asuang before she

kills her prey may be another satirical inversion, one of the Baylan’s sword dance as she spears

the sacrificial pigs during rituals.

VII. Why Use Gender Fair Language

The Ateneo Human Rights Center published a “Gender Sensitivity Manual” illustrating the

importance of using gender fair language.

First, the use of language reflects our culture. Using predominantly male-biased language

renders women invisible.

Second, language affects socialisation. This is connected to the first reason in that as the

language promotes a biased culture, its constituents are socialised into this bias as well.
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VIII. What Is Feminist Research

Sylvia H. Guerrero highlights in her anthology, Gender-Sensitive and Feminist

Methodologies, a few guiding principles which may help in feminist research. These principles

are as follows; first is a connected relationship between the researcher and the researched

(Guerrero, 2002). Sylvia Guerrero says that feminist research breaks free from academic norms

in research.

Another principle is incorporating women’s ways of knowing such as mingling reason,

emotion, intuition, and analytic thought. These are essential in creating a clear perspective on

women’s lives.

IX. Hegemonic Masculinity

Connell (2005) speaks of the role of men and how society has standardised their participation

in the community as supposedly aggressive. Failure to reach the status quo emasculates an

individual, hence Hegemonic Masculinity. Men are wrought with expectations to be aggressive

and strong.
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Theoretical Framework

This study focuses on the works of Pierre Bourdieu and Herbert Blumer. In this study,

Habitus will be used to compare to the repertoire of an individual whilst Frank Dance’s helix

model of communication will be used as a paradigm for the conceptual framework’s graph. The

focus on language in this study and how it affects one’s perception will be covered by Herbert

Blumer’s theory on Symbolic Interactionism.

Habitus (Pierre Bourdieu)

Bourdieu uses habitus (Fig 1) instead of habit because he argues that habit is, essentially, an

individual experience and can be developed individually whereas habitus is developed within a

social context. St. Clair and Rodriguez (2005) illustrate habitus as an ‘internalized awareness’ of

the social game.

To expound on St. Clair and Rodriguez’s explanation of habitus, one must first think of

culture as a map which allows an individual to read their position or territory in society. This

map establishes for individuals a sense of place (and understanding) in a social order which

predisposes us to believe where we can be included and where we are excluded. Hence, grasping

a clear image of this map allows us to internalize which opportunities are made possible for us

based on our point on this map and which opportunities are impossible. “Habitus involves an

unconscious calculation of what is possible, impossible, and probable for people in their specific

locations in a stratified social order.”

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The educational system of industrialized societies is also highlighted by Bourdieu as

‘legitimizing class inequalities’ in that the ability to succeed or to attain a higher academic (and

perhaps, social) status among your peers is dependent on whether or not you have cultural

capital. Utilizing these degrees and merits achieved in school, according to Bourdieu, establishes

one’s status in society, hence the educational system as one that legitimizes class inequalities.

Before going into the discussion of cultural capital, it is first prudent to discuss the three

factors used by Bourdieu to complete his model of human praxis; disposition, capital, and field.

Disposition

Bourdieu defines habitus as a;

“system of durable, transposable dispositions, structured structures predisposed to function as

structuring structures, that is, as principles which generate and organize practices and

representations that can be objectively adapted to their outcomes without presupposing a

conscious aiming at ends or an express mastery of the operations necessary in order to attain

them.”

According to Bourdieu, dispositions and competencies are acquired through early childhood

socialization. Athleticism is most probably acquired from a family of athletes or sports

enthusiasts, an inclination towards music and the arts springs from a childhood wrought with

musical influences from a musical family, and an appreciation for health and science probably

springs from a childhood with parents who are doctors. Internalizing the dispositions from these

childhood contexts, habitus then consists of ‘structured structures’.

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These structured structures may also act as a reproduction tool for creating artists, musicians,

athletes, or scientists from families with similar backgrounds. In this light, habitus, then, is seen

as consisting of ‘structuring structures’ which allow the generation of perception and

expectations of practices formed by an individual from their early childhood socializations.

In this context, habitus claims that although society, through socialization, shapes the praxis

of individuals, the very existence and continuity of society is also dependent on individual

actions.

The concept of dispositions is vital because it suggests a manner of thinking that transcends

the idea of repetition or routine. This highlights the idea of habitus as an active concept, as

‘structuring structures’ as well as the idea that habitus does not dictate future or present actions,

rather, it predisposes individuals into acting based on how we internalized early socializations.

Field

Bourdieu describes field as structured social contexts in which human action is generated.

Society, he says, is composed of many different fields; economic, artistic, religious, etc.

Individuals in these fields compete with others for resources and those who have more have the

ability to accumulate more. St. Claire et. al divide Bourdieu’s field in two main groups, the

participants, also characterized as producers, and the observers.

According to St. Claire and his colleagues, participants in a given field control the resources

whilst observers merely act based on the environment that the producers have manipulated for

them. They illustrate this disparity between the dominant versus the subordinate groups by
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illustrating the cultural ideology of the United States of America which, according to them, has

been constructed to “serve the economic interest of the few, for the few, and by the few”.1

According to St. Claire et. al, the elite powers of America created a culture of conspicuous

consumption. In the early 20th century, the business community faced a distribution crisis in that

they had a surplus of goods within a small market, which were the dominant elite. Because of

this, there was a movement to create a consumer market in which they created campaigns to

show the larger community what they were missing and what they needed. After which a series

of movements were conspicuously being made by the elite to serve their best interests.

Capital

Bourdieu describes capital as power resources which motivate individuals in a field.

Dispositions are also drawn from these power resources. Whichever capital is available for an

individual, argues Bourdieu, acts as motivation for human action. Expectations are also

dependent on capital, either inherited from the family or established through one’s occupation in

the field. To generalize, people with higher capital have higher expectations to succeed in their

given fields.

Among the many capitals (economic, political, etc.), Bourdieu focuses on cultural capital.

Cultural capital, according to Bourdieu, consists of familirairty with the dominant culture in a

society.2

1See: Habitus and Communication Theory by Robert N. St. Clair, Walter E. Rodriguez, and Carma
Nelson. (2005).
2 See: Bourdieu and Education: How Useful Is Bourdieu’s Theory for Researchers? by Alice Sullivan.
(2002)
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The relationship between disposition, field, and capital, is illustrated below.

Structuring
Structures

Disposition Field

Structured
Structured Structures
Structures

Capital
!

(Fig 1: Habitus)

Symbolic Interactionism (Herbert Blumer)

The actual theory derives its framework from the works of George Herbert Mead, whose

books on the society, self, and mind were followed by various interpretations from different

theorists from Chicago, the Iowa school, and other learning facilities. Symbolic Interactionism

was coined by Herbert Blumer and continues the work of Mead.

Mead believed that one’s mind and self are developed through the process of interacting with

others. Whilst interacting with others, an individual can extricate meaning which may then

formulate the complexity that is our selves.

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A concept particular to Blumer’s Symbolic Interactionism are his principles of meaning,

language, and thought. According to Blumer, these core principles act towards the creation of an

individual’s self and socialization into a larger community.

Meaning, according to Blumer, says that individuals act upon objects based on the meaning

they have given as central to human behaviour.

Language, on the other hand, is a means by which humans negotiate meaning through the use

of symbols.

Lastly, thought is one’s interpretation of the language or symbols being used. The use of

thought imagines different points of view and uses mental conversations to achieve these

interpretations.
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Conceptual Framework

(Fig. 2: Conceptual Framework.)

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Fig 3 (The creation of confusing attitudes from the confluence of structural norms and gendered

values.)

The main focus of this study is the effect of language on the repertoire of individuals.

According to Blumer, language is a means for individuals to negotiate meaning (Blumer, 1986).

Bourdieu also expounds on the power of language and how it is taught to us; that the emergence

of a centralised language system in a culture elevates a certain group and makes them dominant

over the minority (Bourdieu, 1991).

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Figure 2 shows how language is a central figure in affecting ones repertoire, like a ripple

effect. Language being a figure in producing structuring structural norms (Bourdieu, 1991),

whose boundaries are not quite clear to us. The emergence of structural norms based on language

is also supported by Blumer’s Symbolic Interactionism by saying that language is a means to

negotiate meaning, therefore, the meaning that society places on certain things is based on the

language, or symbols that we use.

Deviating from figure 2 for a while to examine the transition from Structural Norms to

Confusing Attitudes, we examine a third element which is Gendered Values in figure 3.

Gendered values believes in an egalitarian community across genders and are primarily

influenced by recent studies on gender and the belief that women and men should be equal.

Figure 3 shows an triangular relationship between structural norms, gendered values, and

confusing attitudes. Simply put, the boundary between structural norms and gendered values still

remain unclear, however it is clear that they affect the other, and both lead to confusing attitudes

(Wood, 2012) about one’s principles on gender equality.

Finally, the final ripple on figure 2 is the repertoire; a product of one’s confusing attitude, all

affected by how we use our language, gender norms, and gendered values.
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CHAPTER III

METHODOLOGY

This study will have four phases, the first two of which involves gathering data from the

female students of CAL and the CAL community through a series of focus group discussions.

The third phase consists of acquiring data through social media, and the last phase consists of

acquiring data from the female CAL students’ journal. These data will be analysed in a

qualitative manner using a feminist lens.

Research Design

This is a qualitative case study that will focus on the developed repertoire of female students

from the College of Arts and Letters in UP, Diliman. The basic idea is that language as the main

tool for cultural norms has affected the patterns of communication of women and men alike.

However, these patterns of communications are but a predisposition to a more intricate idea of

the repertoire which is mainly guided by gender norms and expectations and confusing attitudes

brought about by these expectations.

Five main participants will be evaluated in a series of Focus Group Discussions and journal

entries.

Several focus group discussions will also be conducted to collect qualitative data on how men

and women are described and perceived in the dating scene.

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Sample

Purposive sampling was used to select with 5 female students from the College of Arts and

Letters, one from each department (DAS, DECL, DEL, DFPP, DSCTA). Requirements for the

participants was based on their availability, that is, they must be taking at least 15 units in school

and only two extra-curricular activities (organizations, work, classes outside school etc.), or 18

units in school and no extra-curricular activities.

Convenience sampling was used to select the men who are available to be set up on a blind

date with the five participants of the study.

Fourteen individuals were asked to participate in three separate focus group discussions to

collect data on how men and women are described in the dating scene. Convenience sampling

will also be used in this part of the study.

Instruments and Data Gathering

Phase one: collect data from five female participants through a focus group discussion

designed for them to describe their repertoire in the context of dating.

Phase two: collect data from the CAL community through a series of focus group discussions

designed to discover how they describe and perceive women in CAL.

Phase three: gather insight from social media sights by asking focus group discussion

questions from phase two in personal accounts anonymously.

Phase four: gather the five CAL participant’s journal after the blind date to gauge whether the

interaction and certain impulses surprised them.

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Data Analysis

This study used a qualitative method of analysis through a feminist lens. The developed

repertoire (Wood, 1997) of female students in CAL was observed through an inspection on the

community’s interaction and use of language around these women.

This study will be making use of Bourdieu’s Habitus and Blumer’s Symbolic Interactionism

by observing the language use of the CAL community and how it creates a structural norm. It

will also be observing how these structural norms clash with the university students’ gendered

values and creates confusing attitudes (Wood, 2012).

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CHAPTER IV

PRESENTATION, INTERPRETATION, AND ANALYSIS OF DATA

This chapter presents the findings of the repertoire of five female students from the College of

Arts and Letters based on the language used by the CAL community. The first part focuses on the

attitudes displayed by the CAL community as presented by the language that they use. The

second part focuses on the repertoire or patterns of communication of the female students from

CAL. Female students in CAL are differentiated based on their respondent’s profile and

respondents from the CAL community are differentiated by order of their FGD number and a

randomly given letter (i.e. Respondent 1.A). Online users are differentiated with the word ‘ask’

and a randomly given letter (i.e. ask.A).

The purpose of this study is to determine the perceived repertoire of female students from the

College of Arts and Letters based on their use of the Filipino language and by the use of the

language of the community around them. Bourdieu makes the connection between language and

one’s predisposition for action in ‘Language and Symbolic Power’, (Bourdieu, 1991) and Blumer

further supports this claim in his second postulate in the ‘Symbolic Interaction’ theory by saying

that language shapes perception (Blumer, 1986).

An examination of the different ways in which women are described in the dating scene, as

well as how they carry themselves, was conducted to support this study’s framework. After an
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examination of society’s expectations based on their descriptions of women the proponent was

able to find that much of our developed habits stem from confusing attitudes which in turn is

shaped by our language (Fig 2).

The respondents of this study are all currently enrolled as students of the College of Arts and

Letters. They have varying romantic experiences but are similar in their fears. They are all

currently taking up at most 15 units worth of classes and one extra-curricular activity or 18 units

of classes and no extra-curricular activity.

Respondents’ Profile:

Respondent A:

Respondent A is currently taking up majors at the Departmento ng Filipino at Panitikang

Pilipinas. She is in her senior year and is currently taking fifteen units. She has never been in a

romantic relationship.

Respondent B:

Respondent B is currently taking up majors at the Department of European Languages. She is

in her Freshman year. She has had two previous relationships in high school.

Respondent C:

Respondent C is currently taking up majors at the Department of Speech Communication and

Theatre Arts. She is in her senior year. She has never been in a romantic relationship.

Respondent D:
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Respondent D is currently taking up majors at the Department of English and Comparative

Literature. She is in her junior year. She has never been in a romantic relationship.

Respondent E:

Respondent E is currently taking up majors at the Department of Art Studies. She is in her

sophomore year. She has had one previous relationship.

After two focus group discussions consisting of five (5) CAL majors for every discussion and

on discussion with four (4) CAL majors, a series of interviews done anonymously on five (5)

CAL majors through social media, the following data was collected on the consciousness of the

CAL community;

Images of Women and Gender Stereotypes

I. Deeply Ingrained Values

‘Maria Clara’ was a phrase that did not escape the proponents attention. When asked what

they meant by ‘Maria Clara’, one of the participants answered;

1.A: ’mahinhin, feminine, etc.’

Some other participants describe what they think of men and women in the dating scene;
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Q: How do you and your friends describe girls who are perceived as aggressive towards

men?

3.A: ‘Sometimes siguro, may idea na ‘bakit siya ganiyan? Kasi nga diba, chill lang tayong mga

girls. ‘My girls should be chill’.’

Q: Would you find it strange if a girl went for a guy she liked?

Ask.A: A definite no, but I suggest that you wait til he asks you out.

Q: Would you find it strange if a girl approached a guy, in the dating scene?

1.B: ‘Uh… preconditioned kasi tayo to think that it’s always the guy na lumalapit e. That’s why if

you see a girl, kahit na we’re in a modern-ah-contemporary era, uh, hindi parin matatanggal

young sudden urge to think na bakit yung babe yung lalapit sa lalaki. That’s why I think na mej

iffy pa rin pag lumapit young girl.

Q: "Know the person that you love more and more each day", is this something that has to

come from you or would you ever picture yourself as the one being 'pursued' by the person

that you love?

Ask.A: ‘I'm a guy. Men were designed to chase/court/pursue women. Get it?’

Q: What is your ideal way of starting a relationship?

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1.B: ‘In my part, conservative kasi. So, courtship is an essential part of, um, you telling the girl

na, kung ano man, you like her. E, kasi, ano, it’s part of growing up. Feeling ko I’m on a more

traditional side pa, even if, ayon, UP, or even if okay lang na maging. ganon na lang yung

relationship.’

Q: Are you okay with girls making the first move?

Ask.B: Uh not really. I like the old fashioned way of courting tbh (to be honest)

These are some answers of participants when asked what their and their peers initial reactions

are when they witness a girl making the first move on someone they admired or are perceived as

aggressive towards the opposite sex:

1.B: ‘Parang one time there was an event tapos yung. org mate namin nakaupo lang don e medyo

crush siya. ng bayan. Parang varsity kasi siya. So parang, may girl na nakaupo don sa

armchair, so parang kami magkakasama sa background parang ‘WOOOOAAHH’, so parang,

nakangiti lang kami tapos inaaantay lang namin kung anong mangyayari. E they ended up,

wala, parang umalis. yung girl pero that’s making a move for me. Like, hello, uupo. ka sa

armchair ni guy. tapos si guy nakatingin lang, nakaupo lang habang nag-uusap kayo, so parang,

that’s kinda weird… pero…’

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1.C: ‘Medyo ano sakin na, yun nga conforming with the norm na hindi ba dapat yung guy yung

lumapit.’

1.A: ‘I don’t like very forward girls.’

1.C: ‘Yung sakin kasi, like, may group of girl friends ako… sa isang UP fair kasi bigla siyang

nagkacrush sa isang guy na mag feferis wheel.. E yung girl ayaw niyang lumapit, so yung

ginawa ng isang friend namin, siya yung lumapit tapos sinabi niya, ‘hi kuya may crush siya

sa’yo’… Yung initial reaction naming lahat was, ‘uy, nakakahiya bakit mo ginawa ‘yon?’, that’s

not how things are done, ganon.

2.A: ‘For me, I think I would find it kind of strange, because of the values we have in the

Philippines. I was raised by a, somehow, a Catholic household, so, we were told that boys should

always be the one to make the first move and right now it’s still kind of strange, but it’s okay for

me.’

2.B: ‘Okay yea um, first impression would be strange especially how we’re conditioned by

society on how girls are trained to be ‘Maria Clara’, to be the passive ones, to be the ones

waiting for a move’.

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2.B: ‘Honestly whenever my friends and I would talk about it, kung term na lumalabas is

‘malandi’. Like, ‘si ate girl she did this and ang landi niya,’ like, that word gets thrown out a lot.’

2.A: ‘Aside from malandi, kung tawag namin sa kaniya is ‘aggressive’.’

2.C: ‘There’s another term for that… ‘tigang’.’

2.D: ‘pag kami ng friends ko, ‘malandi’, lalo na kapag nakita namin we’d say, ‘oy si ate,

malandi’.’

2.E: ‘Yung malandi. Atsaka may mas ano pa, yung, ‘haliparot’, na ginagamit samin.’

1.A: ‘I have a friend, and then she’s mahinhin talaga tapos parang she was being bad mouthed

by my other friends because she was entertaining theatre guys… the others will sa na parang,

‘ang landi landi naman niya, she’s so quiet and mahinhin and when the guys are talking to her

she’s so fun and accommodating…’

There is a collective, although not absolute, belief in the age-old value of courtship and the

concept of the ‘cool, effeminate ‘mahinhin’ woman’ as portrayed by Maria Clara, a 19th century

character from a novel by Jose Rizal. This belief is communicated through the language that we
 44 of 129

use. Words such as ‘malandi’, ‘haliparot’, and ‘tigang’, are commonly used in a normal CAL

setting when describing a girl who breaks out of society’s ‘Maria Clara’ norm.

Wood, Blumer, and Bourdieu are all similar in that they believe that there is a connection

between the language we choose and our perception of the world around us and our

predisposition to act (and react) in certain ways. Indeed, the study has found that the frequent use

of the terms ‘malandi’ and ‘haliparot’, as well as many other derivatives of these words, have

influenced the way in which society views forward women. Language has also predisposed

society into acting against women who are perceived as aggressive in their desire to pursue

someone they find interesting, as can be seen above. ‘she was being bad mouthed by my other

friends because she was entertaining theatre guys’; the girl being bad mouthed in this scenario

was considered ‘mahinhin talaga’, but when she broke out of society’s expectations, her actions

were frowned upon.

The use of terms such as ‘mahinhin’ and ‘Maria Clara’ is also regularly used and has shaped

society’s expectations of women. Blumer explaines that language is a tool that shapes perception

and Bourdieu further explains that the language we choose has its own cultural bearing. In

Habitus, Boudieu explains that capital (one of which is language) structures an individual’s

disposition and in turn, a peoples collective disposition creates structuring structures which then

creates a field, or a society in which social norms are mapped out for us.
 45 of 129

However, as can be observed by certain responses above, this belief is not absolute. One may

even say that these are only initial and perhaps subconscious reactions which were honestly

conveyed by the participants.

Impressions are difficult to encapsulate just by initial reactions to certain occurrences. The

proponent was able to find other, slightly firmer although not entirely absolute, impression on

CAL women and their actions in the dating scene.

1.A: ‘If you’re the guy, you feel a little… emasculated.’

There is also the expectation on the side of men. Certain participants felt that once women

start showing a certain amount of forwardness, then men will somehow lose a sense of their

masculinity. The concept here, coined hegemonic masculinity (Connell, 2005), explains that

given the expectation for men to excel or rise above any social context, their inability to comply

with society’s standards sets double expectations for them in that they are viewed, then, as not

male.

II. Confusing Attitudes

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If participants of this study did not have slightly adverse reactions to forward and forward

thinking women, quite a number of them used language that implied a sort of admiration toward

these women.

When asked about their views on forward women, particularly those who make the first move

on men, here are some of the participants’ answers;

1.A: ‘Ako I’d be like, ‘props to the girl because, yay! you can do that’, but honestly I’d

personally be intimidated if I were the guy… So ah, respect to the girl, pero I personally would

be a little intimidated by that."

Despite being exposed to gendered values in the university, many are still trying to reconcile

the clash between values which they have grown up with and values which promote equality-

hence, confusing attitudes (Wood, 2010). However, we are still far from the egalitarian mindset

where an empowered woman is not someone to be feared or put on a pedestal.

1.D: ‘I think, maybe, I don’t know if this contributes to my answer but I come from an all girls

school, so I rarely see guys. So um, usually I have a lot of forward people and it’s not weird for

me at all and I’m also thinking about it in the context… in UP, so you have a lot of forward girls

and forward-thinking women, but I do think there would be certain situations in which um, it

would veer off that way. Parang, hindi siya explicit… but for instance, if the girl would mask it,
 47 of 129

say, ‘uy, can I have your number for class’. Diba, siyempre there are certain ways to get it

without it looking strange either…’

On the topic of confusing attitudes, if women were to ‘mask’ their actions to, perhaps, save

face and still be able to interact with a person they admired, then perhaps we may call them

forward, but not in the explicit manner in which clear intentions are given out.

1.A: ‘Same na if the girl makes the first move for me, intimidating, parang it’s a turn off. Pero, as

an onlooker, uhhh, I wouldn’t look down on the girl. Parang, I would look up to her. Parang,

wow she’s confident. I mean, I don’t like rin naman ng pakipot, e, at least she’s not pakipot, she

least she goes after what she wants.’

3.B: ‘I guess yung act na mag first move yung girl, I don’t really see it as strange. But then again,

there’s this thing in my head that’s saying that, it’s usually the other way around. And that-I think

it’s just because I’m in UP and that I’m exposed to the idea that women should be able to do the

same things as men, which is why I see it as, yea, ‘go girl, you do you’. Pero I guess hindi mo rin

matatanggal, even if you ask the general public, they’d say-they’d think that, well, it’s kind of

unusual, yea, but then if you factor in that it’s not unusual for a guy to do it so, yea.’

Q: How do you and your friends describe girls who are perceived as aggressive towards

men?
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3.A: ‘(When) we talk about girls being aggressive and stuff like that, parang, oh my god ang

tapang niya. And then we’d try to judge if she can actually be effective in that way. Like if she

can, yea, if she can follow it through…’

Q: How would you and your friends describe a girl who is perceived as aggressive towards

men?

3.C: ‘Ako naman with one group of friends we talk about it, highly contextualized siya. Na

parang kung isa sasabihin Aniya, ‘hindi malandi lang talaga siya,’ the others naman would say,

‘no she has a very strong personality’, so parang na-justify yung pag-move niya…’

Q: Anong unang sinasabi niyo ng friends mo kapag may nakikita kayong babaeng nagda

#damoves (making a move) sa isang lalaki?

Ask.B: ‘Nothing! Three small claps to the brave souls out there!’

Q: Would you find it strange if a girl approached a guy she is not acquainted with out of the

blue?

2.B: ‘I’m open to the idea of it, if it were just me, okay lang siya. It’s-I kind of do it all the time.

Pero, um, yup nga. If you think about how society would look at it and we are-we as Filipinos

na-condition rin tayo by society, it does have a degree of strangeness to it, na parang hindi siya

karaniwan.’
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2.C: ‘Siguro strange siya kung titignan mo yung maraming tao, pero sakin okay lang siya.’

2.D: ‘I would find it unusual at first glance but it wouldn’t take long for me to warm up to the

idea.’

The clash between deeply ingrained values and gendered values is apparent in that it creates a

struggle in society. Wood analyses this clash and coined the term confusing attitudes in which

our predisposition to act and react in certain ways have made us conscious. On one side of our

conscience is the inclination to respond to equality, on the other side is the predisposition to react

adversely towards newly emerging actions of women that is grounded on gendered values.

Blumer and Bourdieu’s theory on language and social constructs are still very much present in

this context in that the use of encouraging words and phrases have fostered a spirit of

camaraderie between all women-some even encouraged by men as well, however, these words of

encouragement (go girl, props to you, three small claps to you) have not inspired the egalitarian

kind of mindset which removes the gender roles that have become a hindrance to self-expression.

This may be also be attributed to the Patriarchal Universe of Discourse of the English

language (Wood, 1997). For the longest time, the English language has accorded priority to

masculine interest and have not seen it as anything but normal, that when emerging interests in
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the activities of women was accorded, they are, again, described based on the standpoint of men.

Forward thinking women, then, are not normal occurrences but something to be praised.

III.Gendered Values

There were few, but very firm, responses with regard to their ideas on women and how they

are depicted in society. When asked what traits best describes a girl, one of the respondents

answered:

3.A: It doesn’t really matter. If you identify as a girl, then you’re a girl.

Of course, this is very image-heavy and does not imply much about the repertoire of women.

While the CAL community was being examined through the focus group discussions and

anonymous online interview, the repertoire of five (5) single female students from the College of

Arts and Letters were being analyzed. A focus group discussion was conducted for these women,

and journals were made as a form of documentation of their day-to-day activities, particularly

with the opposite sex.

Four (4) female students from the College of Arts and Letters were also interviewed

anonymously through social media. The women made no direct connection for fear of being
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called malandi or otherwise, however, their predispositions were analysed based on the values

they have accumulated throughout the years, as communicated through language.

The Developed Repertoire of CAL Women

I. Deeply Ingrained Values

Given the society in which we live, particularly in CAL, the developed repertoire of women

in CAL are first and foremost, guarded. Certain women live up to the ‘mahinhin’ expectation,

subconsciously letting their actions be preconditioned by our expectations as communicated

through our language (Bourdieu, 1991) (Blumer, 1986):

Q: Would you ever ask a guy out?

Ask.B: ‘Nah. Too shy. Haha’

Q: Why are you too shy?

Ask.B: ‘Idk I usually don’t talk to guys I like unless they talk to me. :))’

Journal Entry(Respondent D): “I missed a lot of opportunities because I wasn’t confident enough

to grab them, I wasn’t able to do a lot of things I wanted to do because I didn’t know any better.”
 52 of 129

A conversation during the focus group discussion with the five (5) female students from the

College of Arts and Letters whose repertoire were examined highlights their thoughts on why

they are single:

Q: Why do you think you are single?

Respondent C: ‘Because generally, I think, well… I have a tendency to be very outgoing, sobrang

loud ko as you can see, and most of the time, guys don’t usually approach girls like that…’

Q: Do you guys agree?

Respondent E: ‘It’s not right, but yea.’

Respondent A: ‘Feeling ng mga guys na they should be higher than us. Meron silang ganong

notion, kahit na they want it, mentality nila yon e. Kahit they want you, the’d go for like, the shy

type.’

Respondent C: ‘Kasi feeling nila mag-show yung machismo nila e.’

Respondent D: ‘Yung dominant sila.’

Although the women don’t agree with the notion that men should be more dominating than

women, they feel that it has affected other’s perception of them.

Although no direct connection has been made by the female participants themselves between

language and their repertoire, the researcher has seen that the proliferation of the usage of

gender-biased terms have had its effect on the repertoire of women.

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The participants feel that they are stepping over boundaries when they assume roles that men

should be doing in courtship, however, what is interesting is that it does not stop them from

acting upon impulse, depending on the level of affection for the person.

Q: Do you usually feel helpless when you like someone?

Respondent E: ‘Yea… kasi diba yung, out of pride gusto mo i-fish out kung gusto ka niya.

Mahirap yung, ‘I like you’, unless you have friends to help. Pero yun nga… it really depends on

the guy and how much you like him, e. Minsan magpapaka-walang hiya ka na kasi…’

Women call it ‘nagpapakawalang hiya’ if they feel that they are going out on a limb just to

show how much a person means to them, even when the term is not normally used for men when

they exhaust all means to be able to connect with the person they liked (in fact, society would

even support the guy, as per courtship rules). The use of this kind of language shows that female

CAL students still believe that forwardness isn’t something they should practice, hence they use

self-derogatory terms to imply that they are aware that they are doing the wrong thing.

Very much related to the repertoire of women based on expectations of society as

communicated through their language (Bourdieu, 1991) is their pride. Many of them do not act

on impulse for fear of losing their pride. As can be seen in the Filipino language, particularly, in

Tagalog, women are elevated to a certain status where they do not have to work so much in order
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to get what they want. In fact, they are taught not to work at all. This can be attributed to the

feminine character of the Filipino language (Torres, 2002).

However, the problem is that they cannot convey what it is exactly that they want, for fear of

being called ‘malandi’, such tenacity was often frowned upon and sometimes admired depending

on the setting. In this sense, women don’t usually have the power to pursue their goals-indeed,

not just in the dating sphere, but in many aspects of life.

Perhaps another reason why aggression is connoted in a negative way when describing

women is because it is tied to individualistic goals. To be aggressive is to pursue one’s own goals

for one’s own gain, which is, again, against the Filipino mindset that women often posses traits

that are collectivistic as can be seen in our language (Valledor-Lukey, 2012). Oftentimes women

have to be maasikaso and have to posses a malakas na pakiramdam (strong feeling) in social

situations to be able to act in a way that will benefit everyone. This unifying discourse is not only

present in the Filipino language but in the English language as well, in The Role of Feminine

Rhetoric in Male Presidential Discourse

Achieving Speech Purpose, a distinction is made between male and female discourse. Where

male discourse is more assertive and exclusive, female discourse is unifying and intimate

(Larner, 2009).

Q: What would prevent you from asking someone that you liked out on a date?
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Collective: ‘pride.’

Pride has been ingrained in their system, and they have to keep their head held high so as not

to

appear too ‘excited’ in front of men, and these are values instilled in them not just by society-but

also their households.

Respondent C: ‘Ako nga, my mom would always tell me, ‘ako nung college ako, ako yung laging

hinahabol.’

Becoming symbol-minded is said to start at the onset of childhood, hence, in the household

(DeLoache, 2004). Since women are exposed at an early age to dynamic language, their

perception on gender roles change as the language they use changes as well. The change in

language may begin at an early age depending on the environment, but this study has concluded

that the change in attitude began in the exposure to gender-related studies, most probably upon

entering the university.

There is also the need to be ‘mahinhin’ or not to appear to eager. The participants felt as if it

were wrong to convey their true feelings, or at least, the true extent of them.
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Journal entry (Respondent D): “I actually like to be on time, sometimes even 5 minutes early, for

whatever activity I have to do or attend. We decided that 3:00 would be our meeting time. I

actually decided not to arrive too early so as not to appear TOO EXCITED, then again I didn’t

want to arrive too late, looking like an ASS!”

Respondent B: “From what I think, imagine a relationship where the guy is more clingy than the

girl and another one where the girl is more clingy than the guy. Which is better? I really feel like

when the guy is more clingy then okay lang… but if it’s the girl, the guy will find it weird.”

The use of the term ‘mahinhin’ and many of its other derivative has been seen to have its

effect on women. This form of language use is manipulative, as can be seen in the repertoire of

CAL women seen in this set of answers.

II. Confusing Attitudes

“Parang, diba, I’m very outgoing, and I say things the way I see it. I always get comments from

my friends, ‘ayan ang taas kasi ng standards mo kaya wala kang boyfriend.” (Respondent A)

During the course of this study, the proponent has found that the party affected by structural

norms, in this case, women, are more receptive to gendered values, however, it is the expectation

of society that hinders them from fully developing a repertoire based on these values. Hence,

their actions are guarded, but they allow themselves certain liberties in pursuing their wants-to a
 57 of 129

certain extent. It is the growing idea of equality that creates a freely guarded repertoire for

female CAL students. Imagine an ex-convict on parole. They have certain liberties, but there will

always be an officer behind them-their subconscious, predisposing them to act a certain way

because society is not ready for their crimes.

Q: Would you rather wait to be courted?

Respondent A: "Oo. Pero I’d make sure that I’d drop hints na kahit papaano, pero hindi yung

out there na everyone else knows that you’re doing it."

Respondent B: "Normally I would be okay with telling a guy that I liked them… feeling ko nga

ako yung laging nanliligaw… Ngayon, feeling ko I would rather wait for the guy…"

Journal Entry (Respondent C): “The very highlight of my week was watching a movie with my

crush. You could say I acted on impulse with this one. It was on a Monday night that I asked him

out myself. Call me crazy, but I just feel like this guy is worth the effort…”

There is a certain level of pro-activeness that women are still trying to achieve, and the

proponent has found that they achieve it together by offering words of encouragement. However,

there is always that moment of retraction where they call themselves ‘crazy’ for doing something

out of the norm.

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Women whisper words of encouragement and empowerment in each other’s ear, telling each

other it’s alright that they are stepping up to do what we want, and this is the form of language

which is uplifting for women.

Q: Kung friends kayo from the start, who breaks the friend zoned wall first, you or the

boy?

A: ‘Yan ba problema mo? Di ka makapagmove kasi babae ka? Nakakaloka ka ate. Proactive po

dapat tayo, hindi lang sa buhay pag-ibig kundi sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay. Go na, I support

you.’

This particular answer was from an online account called ask.fm. The woman being asked

assumed that the anonymous asker was asking for love advice.

Q: Do you feel helpless when you like someone?

Respondent A: ‘yea, sometimes pero like sobrang supportive kasi ng friends ko. Yung tipong

ibubugaw ka. Ibang level ang friends. Like recently, there’s this inuman, tapos I have this friend

na sinabi niya, ‘so what do you think about Ram?’. Pero siguro, helpless na lang in a sense na

alam ng guy, pero wala pa rin.’

Respondent D: ‘Hindi naman, helpless? I admitted first, right?’

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This is the freely guarded repertoire of female students from the College of Arts and Letters.

They are empowered by words of encouragement spoken to each other, but they retract any

moment of power by giving disclaimers and saying that they are ‘crazy’ with emotion, perhaps

out of pride. They all wish to be equal but are still guarded by what society is saying about them,

whether or not society means to dictate how they should act. The careless use of words such as

‘malandi’, ‘mahinhin’, ‘Maria Clara’, ‘haliparot’, ‘tigang’, and many other words used to coerce

women into acting a certain way have affected them in ways that have been deeply ingrained in

their subconscious.

Confusing Attitudes (Wood, 2010), have taken its toll on the victims of gender-biased

language, these being considered the minority in society (Bourdieu, 1992). Women have been

more open to gender fair language and gendered values, however, it has become increasingly

difficult to respond in ways that are considered by egalitarian standards as ‘all right’ if society

communicates their beliefs

differently.

III. Does it affect women?

Certain respondents were asked if they believe that it affects women;

A: ‘Sobrang indirect kasi yung nangyayaring criticism on these social norms, for example you

have a friend, you won’t call her out for being aggressive or forward but you will talk about
 60 of 129

someone that is. So in a way our indirect criticism of somebody else might affect the person

who’s listening na parang, if they’re talking about me that way-if I do that, mangyayari rin yoon

sa akin and I don’t want to be judged that way. So yea, in a way, napag-iisipan rin siya.’

A: ‘Yea, I feel like it’s sad because it’s so hard to change, it would matter especially if you’re

going for equality and all. Parang, yea, especially when I see like girls, when they talk about

other girls, and it’s sad lang na even they look down na when girls are forward and stuff. But-

yon, it’s hard lang, you can’t really change. Or it doesn’t change that quickly, guys will still want

this and girls will still want other girls to behave like such, and such.’

A: ‘Feeling ko kasi with gender comes category na, if you’re a girl, here are a set of things that

you should be doing and eto yung prohibited and ito yung puwede. So, and with that in mind na

ganon yung thinking ng mga tao. So In communication, yup yung naging discourse ng tao…’

A: ‘On a Philippine context kasi never mo siyang matatanggal e, unlike other countries, you’ll

be able to, uh, disregard those things kasi even if some people are saying na we’re getting there,

or nagiging blurred na yung delineation between the conservative and the liberated pero it’s still

there and it will never be, parang, it will never disappear kasi, uh, nasa roots na ng Philippines

yung ganon e.’

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There is awareness, but the consensus that our structural norms may be hard, or even

impossible to change. There is awareness that it affects women and how they act, but on one

hand these values which have been so long taught to us of courtship and women images get in

the way of progressive change.

This study has found out that the frequent use of gender-biased language has been

manipulating the repertoire of female CAL students in a certain way. First off, the language that

is used creates structural norms in which a dominant class rises above others, that is, males rose

above females. These structural norms have continuously shaped the perception of society, and

women themselves, on the role of women in the dating sphere.

However, the emergence of gendered values through the proliferation of gender studies has

slowly raised a consciousness for women and society. But the deeply ingrained values in the

Filipinos' psyche constantly undermines this consciousness; the clash between structural norms

and gendered values, coined by Wood as confusing attitudes, gives us an idea on how women

and society perceive the role of women today. There is an inclination to understand the

forwardness of the contemporary woman, however, there is also the predisposition to think that

the forward woman is a stranger in society.

Our confusing attitudes which stem from the language that we use affects our repertoire, the

patterns of communication that feel natural to us. The female CAL students in this study were
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found to react based on their confusing attitudes in that they have developed freely guarded

repertoires-communication that they justify based on gendered values but describe in a self-

derogatory manner based on societal norms.

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CHAPTER V

SUMMARY, CONCLUSION, AND RECOMMENDATIONS

Summary

This study aimed to describe the perceived developed repertoire of female students from the

College of Arts and Letters in UP, Diliman based on the CAL community’s use of the Filipino

language. This study had the following objectives;

1. To discover the extent of confusing attitudes established by the College of Arts and Letters

majors towards female CAL students based on their use of the Filipino and English

language.

2. To determine the perceived developed repertoire of female College of Arts and Letters

students based on the use of the Filipino and English language.

3. To facilitate discussions on gender roles and expectations.

Confusing Attitudes (Wood, 2012) is defined in this paper as unclear personal perspectives

which stem from a clash between deeply engrained values and gendered values. Given the

university setting where an abundance of gender-sensitive campaigns and studies are available,

gendered values have become a reality in the CAL setting. However, given the extent to which

childhood socialisation and language has manipulated society into creating structural norms

(Bourdieu, 1991) in favour of a patriarchal universe of discourse (Wood, 1997), the extent to

which sexist language affects our perception and actions still clash with the values we have

learned on equality.
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Convenient sampling was used to select fourteen respondents to participate in three different

focus group discussions where at least, five of them attended one discussion. Purposive sampling

was also conducted to select CAL students who are frequent users of the site ask.fm. The study

was able to find that there is a clash between society’s gendered values and the structural norms

which has been built in us ever since we were able to interpret symbols and understand the

Filipino language.

Focus group discussion participants are still affected by the ‘Maria Clara’ stereotype when

describing women, hence, many of them feel that the female students from CAL should be

‘mahinhin’, otherwise they are branded as ‘malandi’ or any other derivative of the word.

Aggression is still seen as an individualistic trait which Filipino women should not have, because

it is ingrained in our system that Filipino women should be collectivistic (Valledor-Lukey, 2012).

However there is this growing admiration for the Filipino woman who can be forward and

forward thinking. The language suggests that people find it uncommon in women to pursue their

goals, hence, their so-called ‘admiration’ for them. The use of the terms ‘go girl’ , ‘confidence’,

and ‘kudos to you’ all imply that the CAL community has not yet reached an egalitarian mindset

where it is normal for a woman to pursue her goals.

Purposive sampling was used to select five female participants from the College of Arts and

Letters whose repertoire was measured based on the language use of the CAL community. This

study was able to find faster reception of gendered values from the victims of sexist language,

however, this study was also able to find that the struggle to act on these values were hardest on

the female students.

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Conclusions

This study was able to find that the CAL community is still rampant, perhaps unconsciously,

in their use of sexist language. This use of sexist language is unconscious and is, perhaps, only a

force of habit due to deeply engrained values. However, due to the influence of gendered values,

there has been a clash in their psyche, leading to confusing attitudes towards forward and

forward-thinking women.

The repertoire of the female students from CAL may be described in this study as freely

guarded. Free in a sense that they allow themselves certain liberties to pursue their goals, in this

context-the dating scene, and guarded because they mask their actions by saying that they are

‘crazy’ or ‘walang hiya’ (no shame). These instances show that they are only willing to go as

much as they believe is ‘sane’ so as to save face in front of the community.

This study was also able to, to a certain extent, facilitate discussions on gender roles by

asking questions on how it affects women. Other participants were able to answer the question

on whether or not they believe it affects women, and found that they do believe in its effect-

however indirect is may be.

Implications

This study may be one of the first to explore the effect of language use on the repertoire of

women in a Filipino university setting. Understanding effect of language on one’s perception and

actions is an important step towards creating a better culture for women. If reproductive health

and rape counselling may help women cope with the difficult reality of being a woman, then

perhaps a change in culture may change that reality and make it better for all genders.
 66 of 129

Experiments towards creating a more gender-sensitive language may establish a more liberal

community whose values stem from the idea that people should actively pursue their goals if

they are not hurting anyone. The community is hurting women with the use of judgmental

language which disables women from fully appreciating their individuality.

Women may be more open to express their emotions, therefore, having a less difficult time

struggling with emotional stress. There will also be less competition and hate among women

because of the lack of opportunities presented-just because they cannot fully pursue their goals.

Recommendations

1. Explore lower-class areas where the community is more susceptible to language bias because

of the absence of gender-sensitive studies or Catholic communities where reception to

gendered values are not as fast as secular universities. Habitus (Bourdieu, 1991) is a theory

which delves on the inequality of class relations. Women in a middle-class setting have more

liberties than women in lower-class settings.

2. Conduct experiments towards creating a more gender-sensitive language for women, like the

‘beki’ language or the ‘jejemon’ language.

3. Create a campaign for women’s awareness in the study, to widen the coverage of the case

study or experiment.

4. Facilitate a larger and more comprehensive discussion on the role of language on gender

stereotypes and how it might help to take take away sexist remarks about women.
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APPENDICES
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The Power of Symbolic Language and Its Effect On the Developed Repertoire of Female

Students from the College of Arts and Letters, UP Diliman

APPENDIX A: Focus Group Discussion Questionnaire

FGD 1 (for female CAL students)

1. Why do you think you are single ?

2. Would you rather wait to be courted or put yourself out there ?

Follow up: if you put yourself out there, would you still wait for the guy to make the first
move ?

3. What are the instances when you want to ask a guy out but cannot ?

4. What prevents you from asking a guy out ?

5. Do any of you feel helpless when you like a guy ? Why ?

6. When do you feel most confident to interact with men ?

7. When do you expect to be in a relationship ?

8. (closing) Is there a need for you to be in a relationship ?

Follow up: Are you comfortable with your independence ?

FGD 2 (for the CAL community)

1. When someone tells you they are going to introduce you to a girl, what expectations do you
have (i.e. physical, etc.)

2. What is your initial reaction when you witness a girl making a move on someone ? (Why ?)

Or

Would you find it strange if a girl approached a guy she is not acquainted with out of the blue
(for purposes of getting to know each other) ? (Why ?)

3. What is your ideal way of starting a relationship ?

4. What is your overall impression on your single girl friends in CAL ?

5. Are you generally alright with the idea of women wearing whatever they want ?
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Follow up: but are you sometimes uncomfortable when you are with a girl who dresses
‘inappropriately’ ? (ask them to qualify inappropriate dressing)

6. How do you and your friends describe girls who are perceived as aggressive towards men ?

7. Have you ever thought about how our own actions might be affecting the actions of girls in
general ?

8. Did this discussion change any of your views towards girls at all ?
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APPENDIX B:

FOCUS GROUP DISCUSSION TRANSCRIPT

Facilitator: Maria Elena Grace D. Katigbak

Participants:
Jezi Llamas
Monica Tulio
Jessy Tan
Ram Bernal
Jam Braganza

______________________________________________________________________________
(Based on Recorded Discussion)

M: why do you think you are single?

Ram: high standards.

Monica: personal boundaries.

Jezi: people always tell me I’m a little bit, slightly, extremely intimidating.

M: Okay.

Jam: because I choose to be.

Jessy: I choose to be, but I don’t think I will be for long. Not because of current circumstances
but because I’ve never stayed single for long.

M: okay why do you have high standards?

Ram: kasi why would I settle for someone that I don’t like? Kasi there are so many people out
there. Why would you I lower my standards for someone I don’t even like.

M: Pero since you said that there are a lot of boys out there, you feel like hindi mo pa nakikita
yung. the one that fits your standard? Why do you feel that you’re intimidating?

Jezi: because generally, I think, well, coming from you guys, at least. I have a tendency to dress
up a lot, I’m very outgoing, sobrang. loud ko as you can see. And most of the time, guys don’t
usually approach girls like that all the time.
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M: do you guys agree.

Ram: I will definitely agree.

Jessy: It’s not right, but yea.

Ram: hindi kasi feeling ng mga guys na dapat mas mataas sila over us. Meron silang ganon
notion, kahit na they want, mentality nila yon e. Kahit they want you, they’d go for like, the shy
type.

Jezi: kasi feeling nila mas mag-show yung ‘machismo’ nila e.

Ram: yung dominant side nila.

M: why do you have personal boundaries?

Monica: growing up in a houseful of women and growing up in an all girls school, I’ve grown up
to be more comfortable around girls. So dumami. lang yung. guy friends ko when I entered
college, but still, I was still in a female dominated course. Mas puro babae. parin yung.
nakakinteract ko. And feeling ko lagi. may hidden agenda ang mga. lalaki.

M: pero yung handfull of male friends mo, comfortable naman kayo around each other?

Monica: oo, parang it took a while for me to warm up to them. Parang I warm up to girls much
easier. Kunwari kahit hindi ko pa masyado ka-close, parang ganito. I can talk and laugh with you
guys, pero kunwari. kapag. ganiyan….

M: okay sige. How do you feel about that? Yung. Parang lagi. dapat. dominating yung. guys over
you? Do you consider yourselves shy girls?

3: No

2: yes

M: Okay. Coming from 2 shy girls and 3 non-shy girls. How do you reconcile with that? With
the stigma that girls have to be, ‘shy’, have to be ‘dalagang Pilipina’, yung. ganon… Yea, have
you ever gotten any negative effect with how people interact with you?
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Jessy: Um. I’ve never gotten any negative feedback over this, since the guys I know seem to like,
or at least okay lang, with the more aggressive.

Ram: parang diba yung I’m very outgoing, and I say things the way I see it. I always get
comments from my friends, ‘ayan ang taas. kasi. ng standards mo, kaya. wala. kang. boyfriend’.

M: Kayo, the shy girls?

Monica: depends kung. saan ko nakikilala. Like sa Parish, marami ring boys doon e, pero most
of them, mas matanda ako. so mas may level of respect. Pero let’s say may papakilalang
boyfriend skin kung best friend ko, bad shot na kaagad. sila sa akin kahit hindi ko pa nakikilala.
So medyo. protective kasi. ako. sa best friends ko, at the same time, wala. rin akong. tiwala. with
new guys. Pero depende nga. kung saan. Ko sila nakikilala.

M: It doesn’t necessarily go na since outgoing ka, it means aggressive ka right? So, would you
rather wait to be courted or are you the type of girl to ask a guy out yourself?

Ram: courted.

Mia: It’s complicated.

Jessy: Honestly, the times that Idid play the aggressive part. That was the first time I was ever
rejected.

M: do you have any idea how the guy reacted after?

Jessy: he said I still wanna stay friends, but we didn’t talk much after, even if he said we should
still stay friends.

M: okay, so, like, what about the others? Like, are you a go-getter, or do you go to parties to
meet people, etc.

Ram: ako I go to parties, but not to wish that I could meet someone, na, I could date. Or parang
hindi yun. yung. type ng guy na gusto ko.

M: so you would rather wait to be courted?

Ram: oo. Pero I’d make sure that I’d drop hints na kahit papano, pero hindi yung. out there na,

Jezi: parang hindi mo naman sasabihin outright. Na ‘I like you’, ‘court me’.
 77 of 129

Ram: yea or yung. hindi parang. blatant na sinasabi. mo na parang. everyone else knows that
you’re doing it.

M: yea yung parang. subtle hints lang?

Ram: Yea, yung very subtle.

M: Are you the type of girl? What type of girl are you? For purposes of this discussion….

Jezi: personally kasi, it’s very complicated. Like normally I would be okay with telling a guy that
I liked them. Kasi. most of the time, yun. nga. yung. lagi. kong. sinasabi. kay Meggy at kay.
Monica e. Feeling ko ako. yung. laging. nangliligaw. As in my very first ex, um, who I was in
relationship with for two and a half years, ako. yung. nanliligaw. sa kaniya. As in ako. yung.
lumalapit. sa kaniya. I’m the one who asks favours from him. Even yung. second ex ko ganon
din. Um, so, sakin, even tho I can and I would do it, I came to the point na parang, pagod na lang
ako. e. I want to feel like I’m being the one courted. Kasi. siyempre. I come from a background
where my parents, my parents met in UP, my dad courted my mom in UP, so parang ako, gusto
ko naman. ma-expreience yung. ganong. feeling na parang, the guy’s making an effort to be with
you, the guy’s making an effort to at least, get your attention. Kasi, ako. naman, as a girl, I’m not
particularly dependent on the guy making the effort, pero sakin. naman, I want to see a little bit
more effort coming from the guy. Kaysa. nang puro. ako. na lang. Kasi, you would know for
recent circumstances na I just admitted to a guy that I liked him and it completely just, did not
work out. So ayon, ngayon feeling ko I would rather wait, pero. at the same time you get
impatient rin. naman. e.

M: Kayo?

Jam: Parang feeling ko ang weird ko kasi never naman ako nagkagusto sa normal na guy. Puro
artista. ganun. Tapos the one time na nagkagusto ako sa isang guy, this was in UP, kasi galing rin
akong all-girls, since Kinder. So sinabi ko sa kaniya outright. Kasi sakin naman it’s not
aggressive, gusto ko lang honest ako. Ganon, I’m a genuine person. So nung. sinabi. ko, ayung.
he doesn’t feel the same way, friend zoned, ganon, so parang, ok.

Jezi: yung sakin mas malala e, ang sabi ba naman sa akin, ‘I may not be the man that god
intended for you but I hope god blesses you with better relationships’.

Jessy: mapapari ba yon.

Jezi: oonga e.
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M: Monica?

Monica: given the situation naman diba. mas gusto ko kung siya. yung. nag-eefort para sa akin.
pero, pero, sabi ko nga. kay Meggy I’m 21 so I’m not going to get anywhere in my life kung
tatahi-tahimik na lang ako. parati. so there was one guy. Very first guy na naging. interested ako
sa kaniya. Sinabi. ko na sakianiya. na gets niya. naman at gagraduate rin naman ako. so hindi ko
rin naman siya. makikita, if ever.

Ram: nice one.

Monica: unlike you guys, I would have preferred if binigyan niya. ako. ng diretsong. sagot e.
Pero hindi. It was never a yes, it was never a no. So parang after ko sinabi. sakaniya yon, he got
friendlier with me, but after non wala. na, hindi na kami nag-uusap ngayon. Kai parang siya.
yung. tipon. na, hindi ko alam kung ego niya. yon pero feel ko gusto niya. yung. hinahabol ko
siya. at ako. yung. lumalapit sa kaniya. So parang he was taking that to his advantage.

Ram: man-hater ka ngayon?

Monica: parang matagal na naman. I just gave myself a chance to get to know him, to reach out
to him. Pero he wasn’t as invested in it as I was.

M: so choice niyo. not to ask a guy out, parang, and if you tell him you like him? Parang ako.
I’ve had a similar experience e, parang, I tell guys I like them tapos oo-o lang sila, they wouldn’t
tell me that they don’t like me, ha, sometimes nga. they tell me ‘I like you’, back, tapos, saan na
manggagaling doon? Pero like, it was my choice not to ask them out. Like, for you, is it the
same? Yung. walang. follow-up? You just wait for them to talk to you again?

Jezi: yung mukha ni Jessy talaga.

Monica: parang pag gusto mo talaga, ikaw yung gagawa ng paraan, e.

M: pero for example, in instances like these, yung. may makikita ka lang na cute na guy. I mean,
may makikita kang. cute na guy na naglalakad. what would you prevent you from asking one of
your friends out?

Collective: a friend?

M: a friend, a guy in a party, one of your orgmates.

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Ram: Pride.

M: Pride?

Collective: yea.

Jezi: actually totoo. yon, pride. Kasi. siyempre ako. nga, my mom always tells me, ‘alam mo
nung. college ako.’, kasi my mom is a really pretty person talaga, ‘ako yung. laging. hinahabol.’
But since I’ve been from two relationships that have failed, parang ako. naman, pwede. bang
ikaw na lang? Kasi, pagod na ako. e.

M: okay, so pride. Upbringing. Ikaw, Jam?

Jam: well, ako, since I’ve been single since birth, parang at this point in my life talaga kasi, it’s
not in my mind. So I choose to be single kasi. feeling ko, I mean, I’ve been surviving on my
own, bakit. ko pa kakailanganin yung. guy.

M: Ikaw, Ram?

Ram: ayokong ma-reject. Sorryyyyy. Ayoko talagang ma reject. Atsaka, you feel like you are
better than the guy. Like, I always like guys na hind masyadong gwapo,

Jezi: It’s no even to demean the guy e, it’s just like…

M: pero, like pride in what way? Like, Ram has said na nag na ayaw. niyang. mare-ject, Are
there other manifestations of your pride which gives you a reason not to ask a guy out?

Ram: or parang ayaw kong isipin niya na masyado akong may gusto sa kaniya.

Jessy: From what I think, imagine a relationship where the guy is more clingy than the girl and
another one where the girl is more clingy than the guy. Alin don yung. mas okay? I really feel
like when the guy is more clingy then okay lang yon kasi. nanamnamin lang naman yon ng girl e,
pero kung girl yung. mas clingy sasabihin ng guy, ‘ano ba ‘to…’,

M: Do you like guys often? Mga. at least three times siguro. in your life. With the exception of
Jam and Monica…

Jezi: mahirap i-define yung level e.

M: I define like by saying na, you want to be in a romantic relationship with that person.
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Jezi, Ram, Jessy: ay oo, definitely.

M: or someone. Okay. In your situation, do you usually feel helpless when you like someone.
Parang, helpless in a sense na gusto mo siya, I want to be in a relationship with that person pero
wala kang. magagawa.

Jezi, Jessy, Ram: currently, yes.

Ram: yea, sometimes pero like sobrang. supportive kasi. ng friends ko. Yung. tipong. ibubugaw
ka. Ibang level ang friends. Like recently, there’s this inuman, tapos I have this friend na sinabi.
niya, ‘so what do you think about Ram?’ Pero siguro. helpless na lang in a sense na alam na ng
guy, pero wala. parin.

M: pero siguro what if you had the control, tapos andiyan lang yan. Do you think you have the
control? Like for example, do you think you can do something about it?

Jezi: it depends on the guy talaga.

M: Ikaw, Jessy?

Jessy: uhhh. Yea minsan. Kasi, diba yung, out of pride gusto mo muna i-fish out kung gusto ka
niya. Mahirap kasi. yung. ‘I like you’, unless you have friends to help. Pero. yun. nga. With my
recent keme, he’s really nice, so he helps me a lot with stuff, and we sumasama naman. siya.
Ayun. It really depends on the guy and how much you like him, e. Minsan magpapaka-walang
hiya ka na kasi…

M: If you really like him. What about you guys?

Monica: helpless in a way kasi I’ve been single since birth so I rely on my friends to tell me if
tama pa ba yung. ginagawa ko. Or kasi. usually I’m the one giving advice. Pero. like depende
nga. kung gaano ko siya. kagusto, since currently gustong. gusto ko siya. e nakita. ko naman na
pwede. I can ask him out etc. E naging busy lang siya, so hinantay ko lang na hindi siya. maging.
busy. Yun. nga. parang. nag-fish siya. na ako. yung. mag-push. at hummabol. sa kaniya. kaya
tinigil ko.

M: Jammikins?

Jam: Hindi naman. Helpless? Kasi, ako nga yung. nagsabi diba. Malandi lang din talaga siya, so,

M: eto when do you feel most confident to interact with men?

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Ram: everyday.

Jezi: everyday.

Jessy: when I’m not dugyutin.

Monica: pag friends kami,

Jezi: when I’m not in my pyjamas.

M: when do you expect to be in a relationship?

Monica: kapag matauhan na siya.

Ram: iiyak na lang ako.

M: How do you expect to be in a relationship na lang?

Collective: How?

M: Like, is it going to be because the guy made an effort, or you. Do you think someone will just
come and sweep you off your feet?

Jezi: yun. nga kasi Meggy highly circumstantial siya. e.

Monica: ako nga parang willing nga. akong. pagtiyagaan siya e, kahit sampalin

Jezi: yun n ga yung sinasabi ko sa kaniya, I want to give my sunshine to someone who
appreciates it. PArang quasi it’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, I don’t know what
it feels like anymore to be courted, I don’t know how it feels like when a guy likes me, I don’t
even know if I like a guy anymore. Kai like sobrang. confused na ako. e. Like, with this guy right
now, I really like him pero even my heart is telling me na mali na yung. ginagawa ko and I
shouldn’t push it. Sumosobra. na. Parang, you deserve so much. Like, I’ve only come to terms
with my own self-confidence now. Kasi. noon. highly, super, baba ng self-esteem ko noon. So
ngayon na parang medyo. medyo. confident na ako, parang, bakit. ngayon. walang. lumalapit sa
akin. Pero. sabi. ko nga, why is it that when I’ve come into terms with my own self na, bakit.
wala. na. Pero. sabi. ko nga, if I know that I deserve something better, then why should I push
something na hindi naman. magiging akin? Medyo. misakit. na yon e.
END
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APPENDIX C

FOCUS GROUP DISCUSSION TRANSCRIPT

Facilitator: Maria Elena Grace D. Katigbak

Participants:
Aimee Lee
Alyna Carlos
Chris De Vera
Sabrina Soco
Flash Ubina
______________________________________________________________________________
__
(Based on Recorded Discussion)

M: First question ko, um, for example, in college-in CAL, someone tells you they are going to
introduce you to a girl. Um, what images or expectations come into your mind? For example,
okay, this girl, what does she wear, what does she look like, etc?

Alyna: from what college?

M: from CAL.

Flash: dapat CAL rin yung girl na i-introduce samin?

Aimee: CAL talaga.

M: like for example I’ll introduce you to my friend, Betty.

Chris: Betty talaga?

M: Ano ba gusto niyong pangalan?

Flash: Betty Gogh?

Chris: it’s just that Betty is not such a sexy name.

Alyna: like Betty la Fea

M: okay sige, if I were to introduce you to my friend, in any context lang parang ganon.
 83 of 129

Flash: Itsura.

Chris: Pretty.

Alyna: Buhok.

M: Yung buhok niya, ano yung suot niya, ano meron sa buhok niya?

Alyna: ako kasi pag new friends mas naalala ko sila by their hair. Yung parang yun ba yung
mahaba yung buhok, yun ba yung curly yung hair, yun ba yung short hair, yun ba yung naka boy
cut na hair, ganon.

M: okay, kayo guys?

Flash: sa akin yung height, atsaka ano yung intsura. Generally yung itsura, like maputi ba or
meztisa ba or what.

M: actually young question ko is what images or expectations do you have when you think about
a girl?

Chris: Maria Clara.

M: Maria Clara, like?

Chris: mahinhin, feminine, etc.

Sab: from CAL?

M: yea from CAL.

Alyna: girly clothes.

Flash: tibak nga e. Like kung girl from CAL ang iisipin ko, activist ba soya or what.

M: okay. Sige. Alyna, anong klaseng girly clothes?

Alyna: like, mahilig ba siya sa palda or flat shoes or siya ba yung tipon na mahilig sa boyish
clothes, like tipong polo, pants levels, converse ganon.

M: (Flash) what about young paging tibak niya?

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Flash: I mean quasi CAL e, so minsan hindi mo na naiiwasan na ma-stereotype na ganon.

M. Okay. What about you, Aimee?

Aimee: a kasi yung stereotype na pumapasok pag CAL para sakin is the way that they dress. Not
necessarily in a bad way pero I think the word that would encapsulate it would be eccentric?
Very, um, hindi naman sa flashy pero um memorable, yon.

M: okay, Sab?

Sab: probably a mix. Um, like, usually quasi pag may pinapakilala sakin parang pwedeng saucy
rin, but at the same time swede ka maging bakla.

M: okay so second question. Um. I want you to be very honest with me ah. Would you find it
strange if a girl approached a guy, like, okay for example ako. biglang may nakita akong. cute na
guy. tapos bigla na lang lalapitan. ko siya. to say, ‘hey can I have your number?’. Parang ganon.

Flash: like in that context ba?

M: in that dating context.

Aimee: wait sorry magkakilala ba sila?

M: Hindi magkakilala. Like for example sa class niyo, a class of 40 people, let’s say. Tapos may
sobrang gwapong guy na everyone has a crush on. Tapos bigla na lang may girl na ‘oy can I ask
you out, or can I have your number?’ ganon. Would you find it strange?

Chris, Flash, Sab, Alyna: Yes.

Aimee: No.

Me: Okay, can you qualify young yes and no?

Flash: uh, kasi preconditioned tayo to think na it’s always young guy na lumalapit e. That’s why
if you see a girl, kahit na we’re in a modern-ah-contemporary era, uh, hindi parin matatanggal
young sudden urge to think na why young babe young lalapit sa lalaki. That’s why I think na
mej iffy pa rin pag lumapit young girl.
Alyna: Ako kasi, ano, yun nga kasi na-establish na yung gender roles natin. Yung guy dapat yung
lumalapit sa girl kasi ganon talaga that’s how things are. Tapos parang, pag, pag, yung girl yung
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unang lumapit parang nasa isip ko pa rin na ‘ang landi naman nito.’, ah ganon, gumagawa ng
paraan. Pero yun nga ganon yung thinking.

M: Yea yea, parang deeply ingrained values na soya? Kayo?

Chris: Ako I’d be like, me I’d be like, ‘props to the girl because yeay, you can do that’, but then
I’d personally be intimidated if I were the guy quasi parang I don’t know, if I were to date a girl I
don’t want a girl na sobrang. forward na ganon. So ah, respect to the girl pero I personally
would be a little intimidated by that.

M: Okay. Ikaw.

Sab: same rin, parang, I have those values na not just quasi girl ako. that’s why I should say
anything to this guy but also I think women want to think of themselves as someone to be
pursued.

M: And you, Aimee?

Aimee: I think, maybe, I don’t know if this contributes to my answer but I come from an all girls
school, so I rarely see guys. So um, usually I have a lot of forward people and it’s not weird for
me at all and I’m also thinking about it in the context of what you have set up as let’s say, yung.
na-imagine ko is somewhere here sa UP, so you have a lot of forward girls and forward-thinking
women but I do think there would be certain situations in which um, it would veer off that way.
Parang, hindi siya. yung. explicit na ‘hi can I have your number because I think you’re cute’
parang ang weird rin non, I don’t even think a guy would say that, necessarily. But for instance,
if the girl would mask it, say, uy, ‘can I have your number’ parang ganon or parang ‘kasi
magkaklase tayo.’ diva siyempre there are certain ways to get it without it looking strange either.
So maybe that was what I was feeling.

M: okay. what about something like that, parang hiningi. niya. yung. number niya. pero not in the
context of dating. Parang, yun. nga. in the context of class lang.

Sab, Flash: wala.

M: you wouldn’t find it strange?

Flash: normally kasi. ginagawa. talaga siya sa UP kahit, gets, gusto ko lang makuha yung
number ng girl kasi gusto ko siya. Parang,’ oy! Groupmates tayo, para sa readings’ etc.
 86 of 129

M: Okay ito. Like, what are your, I know some of you have answered this like Alyna pero I just
want to hear it lang talaga from you. What is your initial reaction when you witness a girl making
a move on someone? Yung, initial reaction mo like, on a guy, or anyone they liked-it can be a
girl, it can be a guy, nd why?

Aimee: Can you define what a move is?

M: um, ah! Sige, you can define rin what making a move for you is. Parang like, qualify na lang
or quantify for us, for example, uh, pwedeng dressing provocatively in class tapos biglang uy, ah,
oh, ganiyan, it can be as simple as that, or it can be lanteran na talaga and stuff.

Flash: Parang one time there was an event tapos yung. org mate namin nakaupo lang don e media
crush siya. ng bayan. Parang varsity kasi. siya. So parang, may girl na nakaupo don. sa armchair,
so parang kami magkakasama sa background parang ‘WOOOOAAHH’, so parang, nakangiti
lang kami tapos inaaantay. lang namin kung anong. mangyayari. E they ended up, wala, parang
umalis. yung girl pero that’s making a move for me. Like, hello, uupo. ka sa armchair ni guy.
tapos si guy nakatingin lang, nakaupo lang habang nag-uusap kayo, so parang, that’s kinda
weird… pero…

M: Okay. Or sige, yung mga ganong small, or something big instances na parang tatabi. lang
siya. sa’yo tapos biglang. strike up a conversation, let’s say that’s making a move. Or touching
their arms bigla, like, something you and your friends would talk about. Parang, siguro,
acquainted sila pero like you know when the girl approaches the guy, it’s something else. Like,
socially.

Alyna: hindi ba qualified yung, for example, yung. girl yung. unang nagtetext sa guy?

Flash: oyea.

M: Qualified yon.

Alyna: Kasi nga diba ngayong parang sikat yung tinder and all,

Flash: Yes, alam, waaaaah.

Alyna: Hindi wala akong ganon, pero nakikita ko kasi yung friends ko. Para sakin medyo, ano
ba, medyo weird kung yung girl yung unang nag ‘hi’ ganon. Parang, on a positive side, parang,
go girl confidence, pero, tapos, you’re establishing a new way of getting relationships, ganon.
Pero, yun, yung, ano nga, medyo ano sakin na, yun nga conforming with the norm na hindi ba
dapat yung guy yung lumapit, parang ganon.
 87 of 129

M: Kayo?

Chris: Same na if the girl makes the first move for me, again, intimidating. Parang, it’s a turn
off, pero like in a personal sense like I don’t, it’s like when I date guys, I like it better pag medyo.
submissive kasi. I don’t like very forward guys, and it’s the same with girls, I don’t like very
forward girls. Pero as an onlooker, uhhhh, I wouldn’t look down on the girl parang I would look
up to her parang wow she’s confident. I mean, ayoko rin naman ng pakipot e, at least she’s not
pakipot, at least she goes after what she wants.

M: Medyo ano rin, different yon from the Maria Clara na iniisip. mo before?

Chris: well uh, kung sa personal ayoko. yon pero. as a person, gujab go do you.

M: Okay, so um I guess, ano, as a follow-up na lang. Um, how do you and your friends describe
girls who are perceived as aggressive towards men? Parang, for example, kung-well, I know
your friends talk about this, Parang may makikita kayoing girl tapos lalapitan. niya. yung. crush
ng bayan. I mean, do your friends ever talk about this? So you don’t have to, honestly, I know we
have a lot of friends so I don’t know who you hang out with. So you don’t have to mention
names, pero I’m interested lang to know, like, how do you describe these girls?

Alyna: you mean pag lumalapit sa guys, parin?

M: yea. Yon.

Alyna: yung sakin kasi, like, may group of girl friends ako. tapos. sa isang UP fair kasi bigla
siyang nagkacrush sa isang guy na mag feferis wheel ata. Edi puro girls kami tapos
naglolokohan kami na, ‘uy lapitan mo siya’. E yung girl ayaw niyang lumapit, so yung ginawa
ng isang friend namin, siya yung lumapit tapos sinabi niya, ‘hi kuya may crush siya sa’yo’.

Flash: si Alyna yon.

Alyna: hindi hindi ako yung gumawa, pero yung initial reaction naming lahat was, ‘uy,
nakakahiya bakit mo ginawa ‘yon?’. So for us, nung time naman, parang, nakakahiya na ‘bakit
mo siya linapitan’ and all. That’s not how things are done, ganon. Tapos how we discuss it,
siguro, ganon na lang din, na for us, parang going out of your shell yung. ginagawa mo, na ikaw
young, ikaw young nag-reach out doon. sa guy, na yon, na, oo may confidence ka pero yung.
thing is kahit na gawin. mo siya. with confidence and all parang medyo, nakakhiya parin siya.
Kasi. saguro. medyo. on the part of the guy, nakakahiya kasi. ngayon young girls na young.
lumalapit e supposedly role yun. ng guys na kaya nailing maka-get ng girls/women.
 88 of 129

Chris: yung sinanasbi niya na parang if you’re the guy then you feel a little, emasculated, na
parang I should have made this move na parang. Yun, ganon. Anyway. I have a friend, and then
she’s mahinhin talaga tapos parang she was being bad mouthed by my other friends because she
was entertaining mga. theatre guys. E parang ako. I see nothing wrong with it, na parang when
the guys talk with her, she talks naman back with them pero the others will say na parang, ‘ang
landi. landi. naman niya, she’s so quiet and mahinhin and when the guys are talking to her she’s
so fun and accommodating so….

Sab: Ako naman,with one group of friends we talk about it… highly contextualised siya. na
parang yung. isa sasabihin niya. na ‘hindi malandi. lang talaga. siya’, the others naman would
say, ‘no she has a very strong personality’, so parang na-justify yung. pag. ‘move’ niya. Tapos
kasi, to put it into context yung. group na yon believe na girls should be, shouldn’t, parang make
a move, pero, they believe in making the guy want to make a move.

M: ahh okay, like, dropping subtle hints?

Sab: yea parang ganon.

M: Okay. So I guess on to the next question. Parang nag-lelead up na tayo. to this pero, in a
heterosexual relationship, um, what is your ideal way of starting a relationship?

Flash: In my part, conservative kasi. So, courtship is an essential part of, um, you telling the girl
na, kung ano man, you like her. E, kasi, ano, it’s part of growing up. Feeling ko I’m on a more
traditional side pa, even if, ayon, UP, or even if okay lang na maging. ganon na lang yung.
relationship. I have a friend na parang he likes the girl pero never nagkaroon ng courtship. As in
nagulat. na lang kami Facebook official na sila. So may term na ‘Facebook official’, na pag.
Facebook official ka, you’re officially mag-on, or something like that, pero ako. on my part
courtship, still.

M: okay, kayo.

Aimee: Depende sakin, for me, it doesn’t really matter if guy or girl yung. nagsisimula ng
relationship as long as maisipin mo na lang ang relationship that isn’t, go go go lang sa
relationship . Ang importante sakin is, nakikita ko sa friends ko na, most of the relationships fail
kung hindi sila magkaibigan muna. So parang, it doesn’t necessarily mean na from the start
palang kailangan platonic na kung relationship niyo, pero. dapat. magkaintindihan muna. kayo
kung saan. kayo sa relationship niyo. bago. kayo mag-start ng, yun. nga. yung. official
relationship na romantically and sexually charged.
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Alyna: for me naman, yung sinabi niya na friendship muna, tapos courtship, tapos pataas ng
pataas. Parang I believe naman na everything should be founded on friendship. Kasi. ang hirap
ng, ang daming nasa relationship tapos pag nag break sila as in total away. Kasi once hindi ma-
satisfy yung. needs or wants ng isa’t isa, parang wala. na ring sense na maging. friends sila kasi.
it never started that way. Parang, sila, I mean, naging mag-on silk hindi dahil. friends sila but
meron. agad. na ganong. idea na magiging tayo. ganon. So ayon.

M: Okay. Kayo?
Sab: Same. Medyo. Um. Same. It has to start with, um, clarity, parang ewan ko pero most of my
friends kaya nag-fail yung relationships nila kasi. ang dating expectations pero. sa huli. hindi
pala yun. yung. gusto ng guy at hindi rin yun. yung. gusto ng girl. So for me, first of all, kahit na
hindi yung. as in deep, kahit yung. hindi super close friends, e. Kahit kung acquaintances lang,
well, hindi naman, friends na mababaw. Okay lang basta sabihin. ng other party, nung. guy
saguro, na, this is what I want in a relationship.

Chris: Mine’s a little different parang, I like, or, yung. ideal situation for me on how a
relationship should start yung. parang, like yung. American style na you meet in a cafe, you don’t
know each other, and then you get interested. Yung. parang, you know na from the start na I want
to date this girl, and I want her to be someone special. So, I like that more and then date ng date,
and then you get to know each other, and then you think, hey let’s get into a relationship. For me
it’s harder kasi. kapag. you start out as friends, and then you try to graduate into a relationship,
parang. it’s hard to, parang. ahh, I like more from the start parang. you saw each other as, maybe
you want to start a relationship.

M: Yea, parang may charge na?

Chris: Yea.

M: Okay. That’s very interesting. Next is, ah, very fun ‘to, I guess just have fun with this
question na lang. So what is your overall impression on your single friends who are girls, in
CAL?

Aimee: wow napakaspecific.

Chris: My first reaction is positive, kasi. I think it’s good that you’re single and if you’re
comfortable if you’re single then I’d prefer that than the girls that are always, like, hopping from
relationship to relationship or, ganon. I’m good with that. And then the negative one is that I
think you’re just too, picky? Or they have such a type that once a guy’s there then they’re off na.
Maybe they’re just too picky.
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Flash: Sakin kasi parang ano, NR, lang. I mean, it’s up to you if gusto mo magkarelationship or
not e, pero on my friends, on the part of, depende kasi. kung pano, pero ako. on my part naman
sinasabi ko naman sa kanila. na ano. I don’t care if you’re single or not for as long as
makakagraduate tayo. on time. So kasi. Um. Parang. It’s part of the options of your priority pero
it’s not your priority. That’s why, parang, that’s my belief e. Um. That’s why okay lang sakin
even if single sila pero at some point parang sabi. ko, ‘uy, pag tipong. minsan. sobrang. sad nila
na sinasabi nila, ‘nakikita ko lahat couples tapos us, single,’. ‘Uy ako. naawa. ako. sa’yo, hanap
ka na lang. Pero. Depends rin. siguro. sa nangyari. pero. ayon. Depende rin. kasi. sa priority na
dapat. mong i-prioritize.

Alyna: the same with Flash rin na I don’t really care if you’re in a relationship or not basta.
you’re doing your responsibility as a student. Kasi. I don’t get the idea why na-pressure ang
ibang. tao na, ‘aww may boyfriend siya. Ako. wala, meron. silang. thing, ako. wala’, ganon. I
don’t see the importance of, parang, mas nakakapagod nga. if you have friends na rant ng rant na
lang about their relationships tapos parang ikaw, it’s ok, it’s ok. So, I don’t, parang, I don’t
really-yung. mga. single girls, I don’t really judge them na ang pangit mo wala. kang. boyfriend,
ganon. Hindi naman ganon, na, okay lang, I mean, different context rin kasi. siguro. for
everyone. So ayun.

Aimee: Um. Confidential and academic naman. to, right? Baka kasi. kilala. mo. So tatlo. kaming.
best friends, lahat kami CAL. Yung. isa single, yung. isa, taken. Um. I find that, kasi. mas
nagiging. point of comparison yung. single friend ko and yung. taken friend ko. Um. Mas
mahirap. kausapin. yung. taken friend ko on a general note. Maybe it’s because I am also single
kaya. majority kind of perception siya. pero, um, I notice that, um, when it comes to my single
friend’s priorities, mas. focused siya. on what she’s doing as opposed to my taken friend kasi.
medyo magulo. yung. buhay. niya. Mej magulo. yung. love life niya. so medyo. magulo. rin
yung. academic life niya. So ang nangyayari sa amin. is medyo. nag-aaway. kami about yung.
love life niya, so it’s, it’s, um, while I don’t judge people for having relationships or not having
relationships, I judge them very much if tumatagos. na yung. relationship nila sa performance
nila. So that’s the only thing I really care about.

M: Okay.

Sab: Ako, my friends are very strong, parang, they’re not, wala. akong. friend na ‘awww single
tayo.’ pero parang it’s something we look forward to.

M: So okay, here’s some of my last questions. Have you ever thought about how yung.
expectations nation, or yung. actions natin. and how we communicate these actions might
actually affect yung. ano. um. how girls themselves communicate?
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Aimee: sobrang. indirect kasi yung. nangyayaring criticism on these social norms, for example
you have a friend, you won’t call her out for being aggressive or forward but you will talk about
someone that is. So in a way our indirect criticism of somebody else might affect the person
who’s listening. Na parang, if they’re talking about me that way-if I do that, mangyayari rin
yoon. sa akin and I don’t want to be judged that way. So yea, in a way, napag-iisipan rin siya. so
yea I don’t.

M: Okay.

Chris: Yea, I feel like, it’s sad because it’s so hard to change, it would matter especially if you’re
going for equality and all. Parang, yea especially when I see like girls, when they talk about other
girls, and it’s sad lang na even they look down na when girls are forward and stuff. But-yon, it’s
hard lang, you can’t really change. Or it doesn’t change that quickly, guys will still want this and
girls will still want other girls to behave like such, and such.

M: Okay.

Alyna: Feeling ko kasi with gender comes category na, if you’re a girl, here are a set of things
that you should be doing and eto yung. mga. prohibited and ito yung. pwede. So, and with that in
mind na ganon. yung. mga. thinking ng mga. tao. So, in communication yun. yung. naging
discourse ng mga. tao. Yun. rin. yung. nagging reality natin. na natranslate sa totoong. buhay. na
if you’re a guy, mangliligaw ka ng girl, if you’re a girl, magpapaligaw ka sa isang. guy. tapos
pahirapan mo siya. Yung. mga. gainong. ma idea na titignan natin kung ano. yung. kakayanin. ng
guy for you, yung. ganong. mga. usapan. So I think yung. hindi lang sa college level, I think pati.
sa family na yung. pressure ng family it would really affect how yung. girls would react to, yung.
relationships with guys, for example yung. daughter-father relationship, yung. ganon. So
ayun…..

Flash: same. Likewise. Kasi. I mean, ganon. kasi. yung. On a Philippine context kasi never mo
siyang. matatanggal e, unlike other countries, you’ll be able to uh, disregard those things kasi.
even if some people are saying na we’re getting there, or nagiging. blurred na yung. delineation
between the conservative and the liberated pero it’s still there and it will never be, parang, it will
never disappear kasi uh, it’s, ano e, uh, nasa roots na ng Philippines na ganon e, na sobrang. taas.
ng rate natin to stereotype, sobrang. taas. ng rate natin sa gender inequality up to now and
sobrang. taas. ng rate natin na well, on the relation to gender equality, sobrang. patriarchal parin.
ng Philippines. na with regards to this, makikita mo na, yes, it’s sad, pero may mga. initiatives
naman na ginagawa to change that.

Sab: I think girls nowadays are smarter when it comes to boys. na that’s why it affects their
communication so much, kasi. they want to protect, they want to build this image of themselves.
 92 of 129

Kasi, parang diba. tayong. mga. girls parang sasabihin natin, ‘aw he looked at me e, parang.
yung. tinging niya. iba. tapos magpapaconsult ka, mukha. bang ganon. So it affects the way we
communicate in a way na we think about it too much.
END
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APPENDIX D

FOCUS GROUP DISCUSSION TRANSCRIPTION

Conducted by: Maria Elena Grace D. Katigbak

Participants:
Bea Fernandez
Nabeel Gatchailian
Mae Cardoso
Joanna de los Reyes
Sheela Manaog

______________________________________________________________________________
(Based on recorded discussion)

M:So my first question is, in any setting but preferably CAL, or sa classroom, or sa organization,
event-would you find it strange if a girl approached a guy she is not acquainted with out of the
blue tapos alam mong iba siya. Like for example, uh, hindi kami close ni Nabeel kunwari, so
lalapitan. ko si Nabeel ‘tas alam niyong. iba ‘yon, ganon.

A: Paanong iba?

M: Parang, alam niyong it’s flirting, na may intention siya. Would you find it strange? And, why?

Nabeel: For me, I think I would find it kind of strange, because of the values we have in the
Philippines. I was raised by a somehow, a Catholic household, so, we were told that boys should
always be the one to make the first move and right now it’s still kind of strange but it’s okay for
me.

M: Okay.

Mae: Okay yea um first impression it would be strange lalo. na how we’re conditioned by
society especially girls are often trained to be, ‘Maria Clara’, to be the passive ones, to be the
ones waiting for a move. But at the same time, I’m also open to the idea of it, if it were just me,
okay lang siya, it’s-I kind of do it all the time. Pero um, yup nga. if you think about how society
would look at it and we are-we as Filipinos na-cocondition rin tayo. by society, it does have a
degree of strangeness to it, na parang hindi siya. karaniwan.
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M: Well I guess to the girls you can answer that question and you can answer in addition if you
would do it yourselves. If you can, and why not if you can’t, and Mae was able to answer that.
What about you, Sheila?

Sheila: Um, I think it’s strange for a girl to approach a guy first na like what they said na parang
um, kasi. pag yung. girl yung. unang. nag-approach sa guy, parang, ang tinging ng majority is
‘ang landi’, ganon. Pero kung ako, yea gagawin. ko siya.

M: Okay, what about you, Joana?

Joana: Siguro strange siya. kung titignan natin yung maraming tao, pero sakin kasi okay lang
siya. As in sobrang open ako to that, kasi, uh, feeling ko yung generation na rin na naabutan ko-
yes naabutan akala mo nawala na, parang yung, nung, nung ako, like now, kung lalaki ka hindi
na kailangan na ikaw yung unang mang-approach o lumapit, kung talagang you find that person
attractive, hindi naman na question kung ikaw yung unang gagawa ng move. Ayon, open naman
ako, hindi naman siguro siya strange kung ganon.

M: What about you, Bea?

Bea: Um, specifically, CAL, right? Um, I would find it unusual at first glance but then it
wouldn’t take me long to warm up to the idea because for me, ano e, the people I’ve met and
interacted with, these people are very open-pati. the girls nga e, and I wouldn’t find it unusual to
see a girl approach a guy for once especially since CAL people are very straightforward, very
outgoing pa naman, but, um, if you’d, um, I wouldn’t do it personally. I mean, I admire the
gesture, but then for me-I’m not the kind of person who does that.
M: Ah, would you-ah, have you seen it happen often?

Collective: Yes.

M: So um, what is your initial reaction. Siguro. after your initial reaction, you can explain if your
reactions have changed pero like, of course you can’t change your initial feelings. Like what is
your initial reaction if you see a girl na bigla na lang, you know, in that context.

Joana: Actually nakikita ko siya. madalas, like sa class, sa isang klase ko, may girl doon, tapos
may guy na katabi niya tapos girl siya, tapos wala lang feeling ko ang touchy niya kapag may
tanong siya like, ‘uy ano ang homework, ganito ba siya, ganiyan ganiyan ganiiyan. Pero feeling
ko ganon lang talaga yung personality niya kasi nung nakatabi ko siya once, ganon din siya so
siguro ganon lang talaga siya. So yon, nakikita ko siya madalas, at feeling ko mas madalas,
ngayon. Sa ngayon na, sa context ng society natin na mas open, liberal, so,
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M: mas okay yung girls to express themselves.

Mae: Actually, when I see that, ako, keri lang yan kasi. baka friendly lang si ate girl, ganon,
tapos, um, kasi, pero actually nung. bago palang. ako. sa CAL kasi. nag-shift ako. and then I
would see how, how boys and girls would interact, parang naninibago parin ako. Like, why is
everybody so touchy-feely here, why does everybody like giving hugs? Pero eventually parang,
yun. nga. yun. kasi. yung. culture ng CAL e. Ng CAL students na there’s always a hug, there’s
always a level of being touchy, tapos, and that’s okay. So ngayon, when I see that happening
parang ‘okay lang yan, keri lang yan’, minsan parang, ‘ganiyan rin naman ako. e’.

M: Okay, anyone else?

Bea: Well I guess you can tell na e, I don’t know if it’s the same for some people but you can tell
whether people are being genuinely friendly or if like there’s some sort of intention behind it na.
Yea, so, well I don’t know, my initial reaction would be like, ‘oh this is happening’, yea, but then
later one, I guess, after I’d see it happen a few more times I’d go, ‘yea I think she could go for it
if she wants’.

M: So, what do you mean by, ‘oh this is happening’?

Bea: na parang, you get that feeling na parang awkward when something intimate is happening,
whether or not it’s happening right next to you. So, I guess on that level. Like, ‘I’m actually
present for this’.

M: But it doesn’t matter whether or not the girl or guy is initiating it, basta you feel awkward
when it’s happening?

Bea: Yea.

M: Okay. But what about when you witness na, for example, when you feel like the girl isn’t
friendly and you feel like may iba to, ganon. Do you-have you ever experienced that, a lot?
Yung. parang, iba ‘to e, hindi siya. friendly talaga, pero alam mong may thing. Have you
experienced it a lot?

Nabeel: for me I really don’t know if people are being friendly or not, basta for me she’s just
being friendly.

M: ah kasi friendly ka rin.

 96 of 129

Nabeel: yea, I don’t know whether she’s being flirty or friendly. Uh, so for me, um, yea I just see
it as friendly gestures, unless that person is straightforward or that person would say, ah, ‘I like
you’, or, ‘I like you and I want to flirt today’, I’m the type of person who wouldn’t realize it
unless you’re straightforward or say it right away.

M: Okay that’s good. My next question is what is your ideal way of starting a relationship? Like,
who initiates it, how is it initiated, how long, when, yea. If you were the person in that
relationship.

Mae: ako, a good starting point would be kung friends muna. Yon, and, of course we all know
when it comes to friendship it doesn’t matter who initiates it, diba? Whether it’s the girl or the
boy who comes up to the other person and says, ‘let’s be friends’, tapos, for how long it kind of
depends? Na parang, you just let things run its course and if you see na may potential, then okay,
sige. I’m-I’m a firm believer in saying things outright, so if you want this friendship to be an
actual relationship, then somebody has to say it, somebody has to express an actual intention,
parang, when expressing intention that’s when you’re going to figure out what to do, what to do
next, parang ganon.

Bea: Same.

M: Same? What about you guys?

Sheila: Iba kasi saakin, e.

Nabeel: woah.

Sheila: Um. I mean, yea, I’d like it to start out as friends pero hind yung. long-time friends na.
Kasi. pag long-time friends parang medyo. awkward na if ganon parang, pag friends tayo. edi.
friend lang kita. hindi na pwedeng. mag-cross yung. line na yon. So, para sa akin kasi. parang
mas gusto ko na medyo. may shinoshow na siya. na feelings ganon kasi. medyo. mahiyain. ako.
so gusto yung. guy yung. nag-iinitiate. Kasi. natatakot ako. na kapag. ako. yung. nag-initiate edi.
baka. hindi mutual yung. feelings namin, ayokong ma-reject.

M: Mmmm. What about you guys?

Joana: I agree with yung. ano muna, yung. sa friends kasi mahirap siya. pag, kapag comfortable
ka na with that person bilang friends, kapag friends na kayo, kapag. nag, parang, ni-level up niya,
o mo, baka hindi niya. tangganpin kasi parang, ‘e ayoko. baka masira yung friendship natin’,
mga ganiyang level, so, kung, kung, mag-start ka ng relationship maganda na kilalanin niyo na
yung isa’t isa. Like, alam niyo na kung ano yung ugali niya, kung saan ka naiinis, kung anong
 97 of 129

gusto niya. Para alam niyo na kung magkasama kayo, comfortable na kayo sa isa’t isa. Para hindi
kayo mag-break agad.

Nabeel: For me, I really want, uh, my ideal relationship should start with friends first. Because if
it doesn’t work out, you always have the foundation of friendship. So kasi, uh, personally, I
think, uh, if I could be friends with my exes, so ang nangyari kasi. they’re both my friends from
the beginning. So nung. naghiwalay kami, we became closer, I think.

M: So you guys aren’t very, I mean, you guys are, parang, you don’t like sticking to the idea of
courtship all the time?

Collective: yes.

M: Okay, I’m trying this out to the girls. Are you comfortable with outright saying ‘I like you’?

A: yung girl?

M: yea. Like being very frank about it. Like kasi, it’s easy to be, to be, um, subversive, with
these things. Pero would outright say, ‘I like you’? And follow up, what do you think about girls
who are very frank about it?

Joana: Ako ano, siguro sasabihin ko lang na gusto ko siya. Assuming na gusto ko rin talaga siya.
Kapag sinabi na muna niya. Ayoko kasi yung, yun nga ma-rereject nga bigla na, ‘ah ako lang
pala yung may gusto, hindi mo pala ako gusto’, ah tapos yung sa second question… ah,
nakakatuwa na may ganon sila? Na meron silang courage na sabihin sa isang tao na, ‘I like you’,
na kahit walang assurance na gusto rin sila.

M: What about you?

Sheila: Um, ako same sa kaniya. Ano ko, um, ako outspoken ako sa feelings ko pero sasabihin ko
lang siya kapag siya yung unang nagsabi. Pero yung tipong ako, ako yung unang magsasabi sa
kaniya? Hinde.

Bea: Um, well, I wouldn’t. Kasi. based on personal experience, I initiated before and it did not
turn out well. So, that was then, so as often as now I tend not to? If it’s that kind of feeling, I’m
not as outspoken, but then, I really admire girls who do, who are very frank about their feelings.
Kasi. It’s the sort of frankness that people would envy, or like to have? Especially since these
people are certain about their feelings, e, they don’t kid around, they don’t beat around the bush.
So, um, yea, ayun. They know and they are well aware of what they want and you know that
they’d be cool with it if the other person didn’t like them back.
 98 of 129

Mae: I would. I would tell the guy that I like that I liked them. And um, yun. nga. there are girls
that are braver than me na they don’t have to wait for anything except yung. certainty nila? Ako.
kasi. I have to wait. Meron. akong. certainty but I have to wait. And they’re certain nga, and they
just say, ‘okay I like you’, and they’re really really brave for that and ang taas. ng tinging ko sa
kanila. And it’s even better na most of these people na ganon ang attitude nila, when it doesn’t
work out, they know how to pick up the pieces and that’s something na I admire more about
them. Tapos. ang attitude pa nila is, ‘just tell the person, if they like you-it’s find, if they don’t
like you, it’s find, move on.’

M: Okay, my next question. It’s the same as my previous one. Okay um, I want you to be very
honest, I know some of you are friends pero, like, I actually don’t know. Actually, I don’t know
your friends. So you can be very honest, you don’t have to mention names. So, how would you
describe women who are perceived as aggressive towards men? So masasabi nating. these are
girls who say, ‘I like you’, these are girls who ask guys out, outright, these are girls who can be a
bit flirtatious-hindi na friendly, ganon, so if you’ve ever encountered these with your friends,
how do you make ‘chicka’?

Mae: Honestly, whenever my friends and I would talk about it, yung. term talaga na lumalabas. is
‘malandi’. Like, ‘si ate girl she did this ang landi niya.’, like, that word gets thrown out a lot, and
I kind of think it’s unfair kasi. it kind of comes with a stigma? And that’s not-that’s not right.

M: You, Nabs?

Nabeel: You’d say all modes of communication?

M: yea, any form of communication.

Nabeel: para ma-connect sa tao. Hmmm. Aside from malandi, yung. tawag. namin sa kaniya. is
‘aggressive’. Usually kung ‘aggressive’, or ‘malandi’, usually nakalagay parin kung ano yung.
itsura. niya. Parang pinipicture. na namin kagad usually yung. pananamit niya. Yung usually
alam niyo yung, daring manamit, ayun. Ganun usually yung. lumalabas na iyon.

Bea: There’s another term for that e, I don’t know if anyone uses it, but, ‘tigang’.

M: ah or under a dry spell.

Bea: yea but when people tend to use that they usually generalize the act itself rather than the
target. Parang it ceases to be, ‘oh this girl likes this guy’, it usually becomes, ‘oh this girl wants
some’,
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M: yea it’s ok I call myself tigang. all the time. What about you, Sheila?

Sheila: pag kami ng friends ko, ‘malandi’, lalo na kapag nakita namin we’d say, ‘oy si ate,
malandi’, ganiyan ganiyan.

M: what about you?

Joana: Yon, yung malandi. Atsaka may mas ano pa, yung, ‘haliparot’, na ginagamit. sobrang
ginagamit siya samin.

M: actually na-mention ni Nabs kanina, are you generally alright with women wearing whatever
they want?

Collective: Yes.

M: Okay. As a follow-up, are you generally alright when you’re beside someone na medyo
provocative ang soot?

Collective: yea.

Nabeel: It depends. Sa classroom setting, yes. Pero if it’s outside, for example, sa jeepney, or sa
church, parang medyo. awkward na. I mean, awkward for the girl. Kasi, CAL is a safe space.

M: na baka may nag-ogle sa kaniya sa ano….

Nabeel: yea.

M: do you guys feel the same way?

Collective: yes.

Sheila: ako na-awkward ako pag ganon kasi feeling ko tinitingala siya, tapos napapansin ko baka
tinitignan siya. Ganon.

M: okay, this is actually my last question. Have you ever thought about how our actions, or how
we communicate, might affect, how it affects us girls in general?

Collective: yes.
END
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APPENDIX E

FOCUS GROUP DISCUSSION TRANSCRIPT

Conductor: Maria Elena Grace D. Katigbak

Participants:
Mika Capistrano
Nasrifa Langco
Julie Jolo
Isa Valencia
______________________________________________________________________________
__
(Based on recorded discussion)

M: so for my first question. Um let’s say in any setting, would you find it strange if, um, if a girl
approached a guy she is not acquainted with out of the blue? Like, in the dating scene, and you
know that it’s different. For example, um, uh, for example si Isa, she doesn’t know uh, Justin,
biglang, and everyone knows that Justin’s that hunky guy in class, bigla na lang lalapitan niya. to
ask for his number, would you find it strange?

A: yes?

M: and can you quantify why you would find that strange?

A: because they don’t even know each other and she’s asking for his number.

M: oh but would you find it strange if a guy did that?

A: o, guy ba?

M: no, girl, but as a follow-up, would you find it strange if a guy did that? Ah sige. Let’s
rephrase the question. What is your initial reaction when you witness a girl making a move on
someone?

Isa: In what context? Like, where?

M: Um, in CAL.

Isa: Like, in the classroom?

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M: Yea! Like, on the cutest guy in class. And you can even quantify what you think making a
move means.

Isa: If you’re trying to go about it romantically, like you’re trying to date someone, I don’t know.
I can’t imagine it at this point? Na if a girl comes up asking for a guys number, I won’t be able to
tell if it’s something for, ay, classmates, ay, acads, ay romantic, ay group mates, or whatever. I
can’t, or, I wouldn’t be able to tell or notice. If it was me surveying, I wouldn’t notice.

Mica: actually, same with her. Kasi, like, ako. rin naman when I have group mates I usually ask
for their numbers kasi. sometimes they don’t reply kagad. online. Pero. Kasi, at first glance ba?
Kasi. If at first glance, I’ll judge the girl. Pero if it’s a guy asking for the girl’s number, then there
has to be something else happening. Like if ibigay ng girl, then I’ll judge the both of them. Pero
if the guy asks for the girl’s number and hindi ibigay ng girl, then I’ll judge the guy.

M: ah, okay parang, nag strike-out yung. guy?

Mica: yea.

M: okay. Let’s change the setting to an org. Para hindi siya, pero and org na hindi work related.
Or parang sabihin. natin. na walang. work related. Julie?

Julie: For me it’s, okay I feel na parang yung. sinabi. ni ate kanina. na I wouldn’t think of it as a
romantic thing or an approach to the guy? Pero. since finorward natin kanina. na number, and in
that context na hindi siya. work related, I guess yung. act na mag first move yung. girl, I don’t
really see it as strange. But then again, there’s this thing in my head that’s saying that, it’s usually
the other way around. And that-I think it’s just because I’m in UP and that I’m exposed to the
idea that women should be able to do the same things as men, which is why I see it as, yea, ‘go
girl, you do you’. Pero I guess hindi mo rin matatanggal, even if you ask the general public,
they’d say-they’d think that, well, it’s kind of unusual, yea, but then if you factor in that it’s not
unusual for a guy to do it so, yea,

M: Yea. What about you, Nas?

Nas: Para sakin if it’s completely random, like, nakaupo lang si girl tapos sasabihin ni guy na ‘hi
ataepahingi. ng number’, tapos hindi sila acquainted, I’d find it strange na, for both, na the guy
would ask for the girl’s number and even if the girl would ask for the guy’s number. Um. But
then, kung linagay. natin sa context ng sa classroom or sa org, okay siya? Yun. lang yung.
pagkarandomness niya. Ang weird.
 102 of 129

M: Um, what if it’s not random and you know the girl likes the guy? Like, what is your initial
reaction? Would you have the same general reaction?

Nas: Yes, for me. Magugulat ako, siyempre, pero okay lang na magkakilala kayo both or medyo.
magkakilala na kayo tapos sasabihing, ‘oh what are you doing tonight, can we hang out’, parang
i-judge ko silang. dalawa. Parang, si kuya. may plano. Or if it’s the other way around, ‘ay si ate
may plano talaga’. It’s weird.

M: Okay. Um okay, next is, what is your ideal way of starting a relationship? Like, how would
you want it to go?

Isa: Halaman. But like I always imagine that if someone’s going to start a relationship then
there’s supposed to be some sort of friendship involved already. You always say that the best
relationships come from friendships or whatever. Like, why not. If you’re friends, whether
you’re really close friends or not so close friends, whatever, basta friendship has to be in effect
there.

M: Okay that’s good. What about you, Mica?

Mica: uh, I believe that the ‘love at first sight’ thing is only for books and movies, and it’s so
cliche na and it never really happened in reality. So yea, I have a boyfriend now and we started
as friends, and it’s better if you’re friends because they know what you like and you don’t like.
And you go deeper into the friendship and it’s better then you know how he acts, how he acts. So
we wouldn’t always fight. It’s not ideal but it’s unavoidable.

M: Mmm okay. So how did your relationship start with your boyfriend? Like did you court him,
did he court you, or was it a mutual thing?

Mica: Um, I confessed first? Then he courted me for two months then we got together.

M: Mmm okay. And how did your courtship go? Like after you confessed, did he ask you?

Mica: After I confessed, he confessed na rin agad. Pero we still went on as friends but it was a bit
awkward for me kasi. this guy likes me. Kasi. I was ready to terminate the friendship because I
really hadn’t had a boyfriend. Tapos he was the one who strived to not make it awkward, and he
strived to be close with my friends rin so that I’d be more comfortable with his presence around.
So ayun, it eased up to what we have now.

M: okay. What about you, Julie?

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Julie: Um. For me, this could be really idealised pero whenever I think about having a
relationship I always think it should be effortless? I mean, like, two people meeting halfway.
Like we wouldn’t know that we were already in a relationship, like that kind of thing. And that is
really really rom-commy, and now that I see it, it’s not really going to… but if you asked me how
I’d like it to be, I’d like it to go that way. I mean he shouldn’t feel like, he shouldn’t feel
obligated to make a move, and he shouldn’t feel like he should always be trying to measure me
based on what I say and stuff like that. And I shouldn’t feel like I’m uncomfortable with liking
him or something. So I guess in that sense it would start off in friendship. but I don’t really like
the idea that there’s one party going out on a limb without assurance of getting hurt-and you will
get hurt, and stuff like that. And since, you know, I haven’t been in a relationship yet, I don’t
want to think of it as something that…

M: What about you, Nas?

Nas: Me, ano, same din, I want it to be natural. I don’t want to be too stressed about it. I have
friends na parang laging. stressed and who are always trying to measure yung. words niya, yung.
actions and sobrang. effort… nakakapagod. So I want my relationship, my ideal relationship,
gusto ko siya. very natural.

M: Why do you think your friends always overanalyze?

Nas: I don’t know, I think, ano, they have another idea of relationships na. Kasi. for me I always
tell my friends na when you’re going to go into a relationship, don’t think too hard. Chill! If he
likes you, then he likes you, and if you do not like him then huwag. mong pakita. na gusto mo
siya. or something like that.

M: eto, first things to pop into your head but how do you and your friends describe girls who are
perceived as aggressive towards men? Siguro. How would you describe, um, yon, yon o… a very
‘out there’ girl.

Nas: for us okay lang siya. Like, bayaan. mo lang siya. Sometimes siguro. may idea na ‘bakit
siya. ganiyan?’ kasi. nag dapat. diba, chill lang tayong mga girls. ‘My girls should be chill’.
Sometimes siguro. may mga times na ‘bat siya. ganiyan’, pero may other times rin na bayaan mo
na siya.

Julie: yea because it’s fun that way. Because when you talk about other people, you wanna
exaggerate some things. Form of entertainment siya. Let’s not separate it from the whole gossip
thing. Like for me I don’t know a lot of people, wala. naman kasi. akong. orgs or anything, but
we talk about girls being aggressive and stuff like that. Parang, oh my god ang tapang. niya. and
then we’d try to judge if she can actually be effective in that way. Like can she, yea, can she
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follow it through. Can she not, is she not, all face lang ba and can she not push through with it.
And then there would be some remarks about how she looks, and then there would be some
remarks about how the guy looks. Again, it’s not just the girl you’re talking about, it’s also the
dude as well. And then after you gag all the fun out of it we think, this girl has a dude now, and
we still don’t.

M: anyway, what about you?

Mica: probably the same as ate, because that’s how I was in high school. We would sit in the
basketball court and watch the people pass by. And we’d hear about the story of this girl who
went for this hot guy, and then after a few weeks they’re a thing na, and then we’re like, ‘should
we do that’.

M: What about you, Isa?

Isa: um. a lot of my friends are the aggressive ones. So if you’re going to ask for my reaction, it
would always be, ‘go guys, do it!’. So I have no negative reaction to aggressive girls going for
guys.

M: Okay this one naman is for all of us. What is your overall impression on your single girl
friends in CAL? Like, just generally.

Nas: go independent, strong women! Yun. yung. sinasabi ko sa kanila every time may nag-fail na
relationship. We can do it, we can still survive.

M: I find it easier to talk to people in CAL, generally, because mas in touch sila. sa sexuality
nila. Mas. open sila. sa bagay. bagay. So hindi siya. kasing. romanticized, kung idea of being
alone or being in a relationship? Para siyang, open talaga. siya. for discussion. Parang. hindi siya.
nag-exist sa private space na medyo. mahirap pag-usapan. I guess yung. single girls sa CAL,
hindi sila. ashamed na single sila? Pero. hindi rin. sila. happy na single sila. Parang. yung. tipong.
‘okay naman. ako. pero. kung. meron. diyan, go!’.

Mica: I know some of my senior friends who are single by choice and I’d ask them why they’re
single, they’d say, ‘I don’t need a man’. I can appreciate myself. But, may mga. iba rin na
nagsasabi na, ‘fourth year na ako. naunahan mo pa ako…’, tapos. sasabihin ko na lang sa kaniya,
‘ate yung. thesis mo na lang…’

Isa: Um, single girls in CAL. Hm, normal. They’re just going through their day, going through
their life. If a guy catches their attention then, oooohhhh, but then goes back to their life.
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M: okay here. What is your general idea of a girl? Like what are the traits that quantifies a girl?

Julie: hm. Like, for me, it doesn’t really matter. If you identify as a girl, then you’re a girl.
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APPENDIX F
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APPENDIX G

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APPENDIX H

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APPENDIX I
Ask.Fm Questions

Questions formulated by: Maria Elena Grace D. Katigbak

Random Questions:

If you like a guy, would you make the first move? :) oh myyy. haha. I've done that beforeeee.
Pero, now, I guess I'm comfortable to make the first move with the intention of being friends. But
not the first romantic move. ^^

are you okay with girls making the first move? Uh not really. I like the old fashioned way of
courting tbh

why are you too shy? Idk I usually don't talk to guys I like unless they talk to me. :))

would you ever ask a guy out? Nah. Too shy. Haha

how do you think relationships should start? As friends. But give hints so the girl won't put you
in the friend zone :))

personally, would you make the first move if you like a guy? Haha yes I've done that before

cool! how did that work out for you? :) It worked out pretty well! Hahaha

awwww congrats! do you think all girls can make the first move like you, as well? I don't see
why not! :)

what is your initial reaction when you see a girl making the first move on a guy? (be honest)
Well we live in a modern society wherein traditions are questioned, rules are being bent, and
gender roles are defied... So i honestly dont mind if the girl or boy does the first move. What's
important is the feeling.

would you ever ask a guy out? Sure, why not?

what is your initial reaction when you see a girl making the first move on a guy? (be honest)
Anong klaseng move? Hahaha. Wala keber lang, di na uso maghintay no. Pakeme-keme ka pa tas
ineexpect mong hulaan niya kung anong gusto mo. Beh, maraming oras ang masasave kung
honest ang mga tao sa desires nila no. So go lang.
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pag may gusto sa'yo ang isang babae, okay lang ba sa'yo kapag siya yung mag #damoves? (be
honest) honest to goodness, pwede.. #damoves won't kill anyway.. pero, generally, lalaki ang
dapat sumuyo..

would you ever ask a guy out?

Whoa what a question =)) Irdk. Pwede din?

anong unang sinasabi niyo ng friends mo kapag may nakikita kayong babaeng nagda #damoves
sa isang lalaki? (be honest)
Nothing! Three small claps to the brave souls out there!

Interviews

A. Boy (Paj)
What is your ideal way of starting a relationship? Things had been rough with me when it comes
to this. For years, I've been trying to understand what went wrong and why it happened.
Mysteries that only God can answer. One thing I learned though is that waiting for yourself to be
really "ready" is the key. And to be sure to take that leap and go forward without looking back.
No rushing. Know yourself more and more each day. Know the person that you love more and
more each day. Slowly, learning to handle the projection of your being with her. Accepting the
fact that there will be sacrifices and discoveries. It is a sacred union of two people undeserving of
it that is why it is a gift from God. And I will treat my future wife a gift from God. A person that
I won't take for granted even when familiarity seems to take its toll on the relationship. More
importantly, let God be in the middle of it.
Colossians 3:14

"know the person that you love more and more each day", is this something that has to come
from you or would you ever picture yourself as the one being 'pursued' by the person that you
love? I'm a guy. Men were designed to chase/court/pursue women. Get it?

"14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

would you find it strange if a girl went for a guy she liked? a definite no. but but i suggest that
you wait til he asks you out. <----- what do you think of this? (i want to know your opinion as
well)

"know the person that you love more and more each day", is this something that has to come
from you or would you ever picture yourself as the one being 'pursued' by the person that you
love? I'm a guy. Men were designed to chase/court/pursue women. Get it?
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If I liked a guy I would like to ask him out but am afraid that he'll judge and reject me. :-? How
would you and your friends describe a girl who would ask you out? Honestly. :O ah
nonconformist? haha okay lang siguro yun, depende naman sa tao.

If I liked a guy I would like to ask him out but am afraid that he'll judge and reject me. :-? How
would you and your friends describe a girl who would ask you out? Honestly. :O ah
nonconformist? haha okay lang siguro yun, depende naman sa tao. maganda gawin mo kung
anong gusto mo, huwag mong isipin kung anong sasabihin o tingin ng tao.

B. Girl (Tracey)
What is your ideal way of starting a relationship? Is there such a thing, though?

okay, how would you like your relationship to start? :) There's something difficult about the
question. 'Cause nobody really says, "I want to start a relationship by..." But I do know when and
how I want to meet the 'one'. I'd want to meet him when I'm ready and prepared (Employed &
ready to settle down). And I'd want to have met him in person (never online). But who knows?
lol. haha. (Sorry, if I over analysed your question) huhu

what are your thoughts on girls who are forward with guys? I adsume Forward in a good way. I
admire them. I'm like that, myself.

Are there ever instances where you are unable to pursue a guy that you liked? I stopped actively
pursuing guys 3 years ago... ^^

why did you stop actively pursuing? I thought na if a guy really likes me, he'll make an effort...

C. Girl (Luna)
What is your ideal way of starting a relationship? In general? Friendship. I guess mahirap i-risk
yan pero, no pain no gain. Saka, mas okay na na kilala niyo na ang isa't-isa para walang
disillusionment na magaganap further into the relationship. Specific? Be honest.

Kung friends kayo from the start, who breaks from the friendzoned wall first, you or the boy? :O
Yan ba problema mo? Di ka makapagmove kasi babae ka? Nakakaloka ka ate. Proactive po dapat
tayo, hindi lang sa buhay pag-ibig kundi sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay. Sige, maghintay ka ng
maghihire sayo, pero beh, walang dadating kung di ka magsesend ng resume. Gets? Go na. Ikaw
na. Ganito na lang isipin mo, if di magwork out, edi fine, at least nasave niyo yung oras ng isa't-
isa at di kayo nag-aksaya ng panahon. ca va bien?

Haha you're right! natatakot lang kasi akong ma-judge :( Yes, well, di naman matatanggal yan.
But, ang sad naman kung x years from now, you'll look back and say "shet, sayang (a) ano bang
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paki nila" or (b) marerealize mo na wala rin namang palang paki ang mga tao. Parang judging
you for like 1... 2.... 3... NEW PERSON TO JUDGE. Parang fad lang yan, beh. Kaya go na. I
support you.

aw thanks for supporting me! :) Balitaan mo na lang ako. ;)

D. Girl (Pia)
What is your ideal way of starting a relationship ? Uh.. Ahh. Idk. Siguro ako, gusto ko yung
kilala ko muna siya. Dahil madaldal ako, I prefer people who are willing to open up. Para
makilala ko siya. :) Hehe

Kung friends na kayo, are you willing to make a move on the person kung gusto mo maging
'kayo'? HAHAHA. Depende. If that friend is worth the risk. ☺ ️☺ ️

who would be worth the risk? :) What would prevent you from making a move on a guy you like,
then? :) WHOA HAHAHA Ang bigat ng questions mo. He he idk who. I can't think of someone
right now eh. Siguro, yung pagpaparaya ko. If a friend of mine likes my crush, I will
immediately unlike my crush then hook them up together. I'd rather cry over someone than see
my friends cry bc of me. :)

do you ever feel helpless when you like someone? :) HAHA Yup... there was one time lol

E. Girl (Gaby)
What is your ideal way of starting a relationship? Finishing my thesis first

END